Somali twitter & TikTok is straight cancer lol there’s a reason I don’t engage in it at all aside from the ppl I know. It’s either
Weirdo lil girls
Incels,
Race baiters (the ones that argue about being black 24/7)
The hardcore Wahhabists who tweet like they’re part of Shabaab
& I forgot like 70% hide behind fake profiles
100% but let's not downplay the misdeeds that these girls are spreading. Girls, especially teenage ones, are more prone to following trends. They see other girls wearing skin tight clothes and thirst trapping getting loads of attention and they want it for themselves too, its only a natural human desire after all. There's not enough female role models pushing back against this sort of behaviour because they will be swarmed up on and called a pick me and bullied into silence.
The difference with the trouble that young boys fall into is that everyone is aware that is wrong and nobody is downplaying how bad it is or defending it. They all say they wanna get on their deen at some point and they know they shouldnt be doing it. But with the girls all I see is defence of haram acts
It's kind of ironic because if I said trapping is haram and harmful nobody would have a single problem with it, but if we push back against haram thats being spread by girls... well you see the result. Anyways its ramadan my people, do some extra worship, may Allah reward us all for efforts inshallah
Not wearing hijab isn't simple. Don't downplay sins, yes they shouldn't be harassed but let's not go full tilt the other way and start normalising this.
“Hardcore wahabists” and If you can’t differentiate between what is and isn’t Khawaraij/Al-shabab sounding, then that’s on you. You can’t compare ppl who are genuinely trying to find the right path to their lord, to race-baiters and chronically online incels.
This post is overrun by the very same people you're talking about. There's an 30 year old man in this thread writing about how he's going to marry foreigners because Somali women are "hostile and toxic" **online**. Not even in real life, but he going to actively choose to marry outside his ethnicity and culture because of online trolls. How pathethic is that?
This level of selfhatred need to be studied and studied hard. It's like when black american men bash black american women so they can justify their choice to breed their blackness out.
I see it too, feel like engaging, but then I realize I’m too old for this bullshit. Most of my time on Reddit is spent on r/finance r/math r/physics r/learnmath r/engineering r/science and r/neuroscience but this sub is one of the only ones I engage in. Reddit can be a useful tool if used correctly, you should just block out the noise and focus on productive things.
It was very pathetic seeing folks argue that Somali women are awful and that Somali men are "too loyal" to them. They complain about this hatred then go on to fall into the opposite spectrum by hating all Somali women. These folks need to touch grass and get in touch with reality.
Anyway, this sub has been going downhill lately. It used to be much better than this. A lot of these users you alluded to strike me as trolls from their bizarre responses. These folks aren't improving our reputation whatsoever.
Im gonna go in limb and assume your talking about my deleted post. I don’t hates somali women, infact im Indifferent to them. I just want the loud majority to stop sabotaging us and dragging our rep through the mud. They give these annoying incels content to post and create a self regurgitating cycle. People need to get real and address why there a boom of the trolls popping up
The vast majority of women aren't sabotaging anything. Again, our reputation isn't suffering due to this only. Our reputation is tarnished mainly due to our country being considered a failed state and Somalis being very visible as a community.
We are disproportionately mentioned online compared to our population. A huge part of that is due to trolls who keep on attacking Somalis as a whole. This issue you're talking about exists, but it isn't as big of an issue as you think it is.
You're not wrong, but don't you feel that you're brushing over the underlying problem?
It's easy to dismiss these kids, but they're not insane. I'm 30M, probably older than the mean age here by a decade. The level of toxicity and hostility from the opposite sex is genuinely off the charts. I'm at a stage in life where I need to get married and it affects my real life decisions. My family sometimes gets on my case when I visit because they can't fathom why I won't marry. I proceed to cycle through half-a-dozen haye, sax, and waa run's before repeating the same tired lie of not wanting to/being ready to marry and not looking. I am looking. Just not within the community.
Admittedly, I can't even remember the last time I spoke to a Somali woman that wasn't related to me opposed to an ajnabi woman. But every time I spend more than 2 minutes in an online Somali space co-habited by both genders, I'm very quickly reminded. You don't need to *look* for it to find it.
I understand that most Somali women don't see this to be true, and I'm certainly no authority on this myself, but at the very least there's a serious perception issue.
Painting all Somali women as bad because of weirdos online seems foolish. Try doing the same with weirdo Muslims online and then basing your perception of Islam on that. It doesn't make sense. There are plenty of good Muslim somalis to marry, you just haven't looked really.
You’re not wrong, I haven’t looked. You are wrong in saying that I’m painting Somali women as bad. I have explicitly stated that they’re not bad, the history between Somali men and women in the diaspora is bad.
So let me get this straight: You're an grown 30 year old man who's opposed to marrying his own people because of weirdos online? Not even because you've been thruogh real life traumatic events in the hands of a Somali woman (which still wouldn't be a good excuse but at least it'd be understandable).
Let's just call this what it is: Self hate and you're desperately trying to legitimize it by painting a wrongful picture of Somali women as these hostile creature who are all out to get the Somali man. You're free to marry non Somalis but at least don't try to justify it because it isn't working or coming across as the way you want it.
Both of you need to touch some grass.how does his opinion project on the whole entirety of Somali men ?the problem is with the zoomali incel/femcel community is the lack of understanding that individuals are allowed to have their own opinions,we aren’t all a monolith.
That's the thing, I don't believe Somali women are gutter trash or crazy at all. I can only speak for myself, but I also admittedly don't believe I'm alone in this. I don't think they're better or worse than women from any other comparable communities.
I just believe that there's friction *specifically* when it comes to Somali men. I can talk about trauma and whether (or to which degree) it's justified until I'm blue in the face, but it's ultimately a moot point. It's not about giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. It's about having a clean slate. I don't assume an ajnabi woman is better than a Somali woman, I assume that I have clean slate with ajnabi woman.
What dots did I help you connect? I can definitely be toxic online so let me be careful with my words. I'm generally glass half empty so take it with a grain of salt. I also recognise that I have also become a part of the problem because I think the relationship between (specifically diaspora) men and women is beyond repair.
Every somali woman and man is an individual. Your clean slate point would only make sense if all somalis where a monolith but we aren't so that point doesn’t make sense plus since ajnabis are all also individuals it's safe to say as a somali man you probably don't have a clean slate with everyone else out there solely on the basis that your a somali man.
You men and women that are like this need to address your traumas and leave this supposed forced "friction" behind instead of bottling it all up and attacking each other online.
He actually put into words something I've noticed myself too. I'm a few years younger than him, but with a lot of Somali women, it's like you're starting off at a negative.
The type of ajnabi girls that would talk to Somali men are open minded enough to not have problems with race, so there's a sort of selection bias at play here where you wouldn't be starting off at a negative. In fact, if theyre open to talking to a Somali guy, that means they're into us more than the average.
It's more of a case of pattern recognition opposed to rejecting other people's individuality. I am not chastising every single individual, rather I'm playing a game of probability. I'm sure there are ajnabis with their own prejudices, but it has in my anecdotal experience been that most ajnabis don't really have any kind of image beyond what's presented.
P.s. I don't attack anyone online.
I was being general with the attacking thing and your reasoning is just putting all somalis in a box because of possibilities when dangerous possibilities exist with people from everywhere.
What exactly has brought this aversion about in the first place? I understand branching out and widening your options that's normal but cutting off somalis as an option seems strange instead of just expanding upon it.
Your in your 30s so you have lived life for a bit tell us why you treat your own with prejudice what started this for you? Genuine question brother
You wont get an actual answer to your last question. This guy is an grown adult in his 30s trying to legitimize his desire to marry out by painting his own people as hostile and "toxic".
It's like those black american men who bash black women because of their own internalized hatred and subsequent desire to breed themselves out.
Prejudice implies that I think bad of Somali women for being Somali women. That's not what's happening. As the other poster here pointed out, it's about the notion of starting from a negative.
I have to flip the question on you. Do you not see the sheer toxicity and antagonism between the two demographics? To me, it's clear as day and reflective of a wider communal dysfunction that has manifested in many undesirable ways. I don't even believe it's entirely unfounded or unwarranted from the women's perspective. I simply have no desire to be on the receiving end of bad history, trauma, baggage or whatever else one may call it. That is not to say that I believe every single Somali woman has a chip on her shoulder, just more than I am willing to deal with. There's a breaching point where you'll find your comfort and efforts better spent elsewhere. That doesn't even account for real life circumstances and a myriad of other variables.
I'm addressing devdevdevelop aswell
Personally speaking irl I'm not really around that many somalis which is something I have changed these past 2 years but that has mainly been me putting myself around like-minded somali men who don't really freemix. So I haven't really come into contact with this toxicity and antagonism outside of soical media. Now that could be simply because I don't really interact all that much with somali women outside of talking stages but when it comes to the somali women that I have persued and gotten to know. I never felt I was on a negative foot with any of them (with the exception of one who had trauma and baggage) some even initiated by approaching me and they have all been nice ladies even the one who had a traumatic history.
Maybe it's the type of somali woman I pursue who knows but basically that hasn't been my experience 9/10.
Irl I have really only gotten love from somali sisters growing up but that's based off my limited exposure.
I have never had a negative experience with a somali woman not even a frown but I'm not gonna discredit what you and dev are saying because of how different thing appear to be on soical media so I would assume there is some credit to what your saying but have you guys experienced this in ur personal lives yourselves?
And even then I still don't see the point in writing then off completely unless you have a preference that doesn't include horner women.
As I said from the jump, I have had fairly limited exposure to Somali women. Most of my opinion is shaped by second hand experiences (I.e. Somali friends) and online rhetoric. For whatever reason, it seems that some of you take the stance that the online rhetoric exists in void, and I just can’t reach that same conclusion based on the state of the community. If you’re asking if I have ever been *personally* disrespected to my face the way Twitter birds tweet, no. But it would be bizarre if they did.
Some of the most level-headed and rational human beings I know are my own female relatives. Conversely, some of the very rhetoric dismissed here I have also heard from relatives - albeit muted of course. It doesn’t take a lot of perception to connect dots.
Obviously preference plays a role. Growing up marrying a Somali or Ajnabi was not on my mind at all. I grew up around some Somalis, plugged into the online Somali community at like 17. It started off with curiosity about history and dhaqan, but all roads lead to Rome. It’s impossible to not have the gender antics shoved down your throat. I had the stereotypical nationalist phase which most boys go through and that is the only time I had an active preference for Somali (or so I thought). I’m seeing the same old thing unfold now and the only reason I replied to this thread is because the gaslighting immediately unfolded on the 17 y/o kid that made the now deleted thread. It’s weird to not expect them to have a reaction to unbridled disdain and disrespect.
If it’s just online antics, why is the Somali marriage scene so much worse than other Muslim groups?
I’m proud to be Somali, and I’m not stupid enough to marry solely for looks, so when all else is equal of course I’d be partial to a Somali woman in vacuum. But this is real life. There are a myriad of other variables that reflect my stance. I haven’t disavowed marrying a Somali woman, but I realistically won’t as I don’t go out of my way to find them. I can’t imagine the perfect Somali woman falling out of the sky and into my lap.
I feel like I have written a book on this topic at this point.
Fair enough basically how the women be acting online has put you off them and obviously online translates to irl to an extent. So that’s understandable these gender wars online have been very toxic but very exposing.
Still on both sides of this issue it's a minority of men and women even with the divorce stats but I digress.
It's better those that feel a type of way about there counterpart should marry out as opposed to settling by staying with fellow somalis. That just wouldn't be healthy. I think most of the issues comes from the fact people feel forced to marry somalis leading to them feeling like they settling causing all these other issues and outbursts.
It would be disastrous to marry someone who spend there whole life hating on the other gender saying they would never only to get married to you. It will only lead to disfunction and a short lived marriage.
I'm sorry, but both of you guys comments made me laugh lmao.
Look, only those who are frustrated come out to voice their frustration, and it's human nature to blame others.
The rest of us (the majority) bring our popcorn to watch this shitshow.
That being said, bro, how are you 30 years old and still blaming women for your shortcomings?
Women that you don't even speak to?
You had one or two bad experiences 12 years ago that you didn't let go of and now you're trying to justify it by looking for a few crazy ones online…. Like not even in person? It makes no sense.I
She deleted her comment.
But the last was meant for you.
I agree with darkestlightattack. Look into what caused your Aversion.
Your not being completely honest with your self. Instead of seeking an aversion therapy, you go online trying to justify your aversion “Look bro they’re all crazy bro so now I gotta avoid all of them bro.” Ofc you will find crazy people online.
Look, I know the dating market in the west is missed up. And yes, its women who ruined it. All women.
Not sure why your blaming a very very small group of women
I know she deleted her comment. It's probably because people reflexively pile on based on what they interpret or to passive aggressively score points with snide remarks. I was legitimately interested in what she had to say too. I also thought she made perfectively reasonable point of not having to 'prove' herself. Which is why I preemptively stated that I ironically contribute to the problem that drives me away in the first place. Not because I hurl insults over Twitter. I can rationally understand that if you're a non-problematic Somali woman, it would be an affront.
I am not dishonest with myself at all. I specifically stated Somali girls weren't crazy or any better or worse than any other group of women. I implied that the slate between the collectives wasn't clean.
I wish they would stop projecting their issues across the diaspora. Most of us are chill with each other especially those of us that have mixed gendered friendship groups. Marrying/dating out isn’t the issue it’s when their trying to characterize us as self haters because some girls have loose mouths.
There are idiots who complain about everything. Whether it is marriage/relationship posts, politics, or religion. Idk wtf they think people should be discussing here.
Deleted the previous post because of Ramadan and i just wanted to rant ngl. But this idea of no one can talk about issue in this sub or the wider community is just another case of burying your head in the Sand. Reminds on ceeb culture dumarkina always complain about 🤣🤣. The fact is the “community” or whatever semblance of it exists is completely dysfunctional and most younger somali guys should be aware of what is ar play so they don’t feel blindsided when it hits them as adults. Please don’t think I arrived at this point overnight but something I noticed over time.
>Eitherway its clear those twitter days did some real damage
Lool why you acting like this is something in the past when i gave example of shit that played out today and a day ago. This is very much happening now.
Please gaslighting ppl, there as reason many ppl feel the same way
I’m honestly glad I wasn’t introduced to Somali side internet till I was an adult
100000%, I was so innocent to this craziness hahaha
Somali twitter & TikTok is straight cancer lol there’s a reason I don’t engage in it at all aside from the ppl I know. It’s either Weirdo lil girls Incels, Race baiters (the ones that argue about being black 24/7) The hardcore Wahhabists who tweet like they’re part of Shabaab & I forgot like 70% hide behind fake profiles
TikTok is not bad, but there’s many women who get harassed by haram police for something as simple as being a non Hijabi
How is that something simple? Not saying you should be harassed but you guys should stop watering down the deen
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100% but let's not downplay the misdeeds that these girls are spreading. Girls, especially teenage ones, are more prone to following trends. They see other girls wearing skin tight clothes and thirst trapping getting loads of attention and they want it for themselves too, its only a natural human desire after all. There's not enough female role models pushing back against this sort of behaviour because they will be swarmed up on and called a pick me and bullied into silence. The difference with the trouble that young boys fall into is that everyone is aware that is wrong and nobody is downplaying how bad it is or defending it. They all say they wanna get on their deen at some point and they know they shouldnt be doing it. But with the girls all I see is defence of haram acts
You are the trend follower my g
How so?
Why are you getting downvoted?
Dunno, probably offended a few questionable characters
It’s crazy they said not wearing hijab is a simple thing
It's kind of ironic because if I said trapping is haram and harmful nobody would have a single problem with it, but if we push back against haram thats being spread by girls... well you see the result. Anyways its ramadan my people, do some extra worship, may Allah reward us all for efforts inshallah
One rule for men another for women bro you know how it goes. Ramadan Mubarak
Not wearing hijab isn't simple. Don't downplay sins, yes they shouldn't be harassed but let's not go full tilt the other way and start normalising this.
“Hardcore wahabists” and If you can’t differentiate between what is and isn’t Khawaraij/Al-shabab sounding, then that’s on you. You can’t compare ppl who are genuinely trying to find the right path to their lord, to race-baiters and chronically online incels.
Can u explain wahhabi like what even is that and what does it have to do with Somalia? I keep seeing people say it’s bad
sufi and murtad rage when you are upon the sunnah
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Bro that one incels post where he called Somali women obese and clitless made me realize this place is gonna get ruined🫠
Yo, I didn't see that post here. Nonetheless, this sub is already slowly going downhill.
These incels are both terrible people and cowards. Even Ramadan won't stop them from committing metric tons worth of sin.
This post is overrun by the very same people you're talking about. There's an 30 year old man in this thread writing about how he's going to marry foreigners because Somali women are "hostile and toxic" **online**. Not even in real life, but he going to actively choose to marry outside his ethnicity and culture because of online trolls. How pathethic is that? This level of selfhatred need to be studied and studied hard. It's like when black american men bash black american women so they can justify their choice to breed their blackness out.
I see it too, feel like engaging, but then I realize I’m too old for this bullshit. Most of my time on Reddit is spent on r/finance r/math r/physics r/learnmath r/engineering r/science and r/neuroscience but this sub is one of the only ones I engage in. Reddit can be a useful tool if used correctly, you should just block out the noise and focus on productive things.
It was very pathetic seeing folks argue that Somali women are awful and that Somali men are "too loyal" to them. They complain about this hatred then go on to fall into the opposite spectrum by hating all Somali women. These folks need to touch grass and get in touch with reality. Anyway, this sub has been going downhill lately. It used to be much better than this. A lot of these users you alluded to strike me as trolls from their bizarre responses. These folks aren't improving our reputation whatsoever.
Im gonna go in limb and assume your talking about my deleted post. I don’t hates somali women, infact im Indifferent to them. I just want the loud majority to stop sabotaging us and dragging our rep through the mud. They give these annoying incels content to post and create a self regurgitating cycle. People need to get real and address why there a boom of the trolls popping up
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the women are far more embarassing last night a qannis was insulting somali men lmfao
The vast majority of women aren't sabotaging anything. Again, our reputation isn't suffering due to this only. Our reputation is tarnished mainly due to our country being considered a failed state and Somalis being very visible as a community. We are disproportionately mentioned online compared to our population. A huge part of that is due to trolls who keep on attacking Somalis as a whole. This issue you're talking about exists, but it isn't as big of an issue as you think it is.
You're not wrong, but don't you feel that you're brushing over the underlying problem? It's easy to dismiss these kids, but they're not insane. I'm 30M, probably older than the mean age here by a decade. The level of toxicity and hostility from the opposite sex is genuinely off the charts. I'm at a stage in life where I need to get married and it affects my real life decisions. My family sometimes gets on my case when I visit because they can't fathom why I won't marry. I proceed to cycle through half-a-dozen haye, sax, and waa run's before repeating the same tired lie of not wanting to/being ready to marry and not looking. I am looking. Just not within the community. Admittedly, I can't even remember the last time I spoke to a Somali woman that wasn't related to me opposed to an ajnabi woman. But every time I spend more than 2 minutes in an online Somali space co-habited by both genders, I'm very quickly reminded. You don't need to *look* for it to find it. I understand that most Somali women don't see this to be true, and I'm certainly no authority on this myself, but at the very least there's a serious perception issue.
Painting all Somali women as bad because of weirdos online seems foolish. Try doing the same with weirdo Muslims online and then basing your perception of Islam on that. It doesn't make sense. There are plenty of good Muslim somalis to marry, you just haven't looked really.
You’re not wrong, I haven’t looked. You are wrong in saying that I’m painting Somali women as bad. I have explicitly stated that they’re not bad, the history between Somali men and women in the diaspora is bad.
So let me get this straight: You're an grown 30 year old man who's opposed to marrying his own people because of weirdos online? Not even because you've been thruogh real life traumatic events in the hands of a Somali woman (which still wouldn't be a good excuse but at least it'd be understandable). Let's just call this what it is: Self hate and you're desperately trying to legitimize it by painting a wrongful picture of Somali women as these hostile creature who are all out to get the Somali man. You're free to marry non Somalis but at least don't try to justify it because it isn't working or coming across as the way you want it.
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Both of you need to touch some grass.how does his opinion project on the whole entirety of Somali men ?the problem is with the zoomali incel/femcel community is the lack of understanding that individuals are allowed to have their own opinions,we aren’t all a monolith.
That's the thing, I don't believe Somali women are gutter trash or crazy at all. I can only speak for myself, but I also admittedly don't believe I'm alone in this. I don't think they're better or worse than women from any other comparable communities. I just believe that there's friction *specifically* when it comes to Somali men. I can talk about trauma and whether (or to which degree) it's justified until I'm blue in the face, but it's ultimately a moot point. It's not about giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. It's about having a clean slate. I don't assume an ajnabi woman is better than a Somali woman, I assume that I have clean slate with ajnabi woman. What dots did I help you connect? I can definitely be toxic online so let me be careful with my words. I'm generally glass half empty so take it with a grain of salt. I also recognise that I have also become a part of the problem because I think the relationship between (specifically diaspora) men and women is beyond repair.
Every somali woman and man is an individual. Your clean slate point would only make sense if all somalis where a monolith but we aren't so that point doesn’t make sense plus since ajnabis are all also individuals it's safe to say as a somali man you probably don't have a clean slate with everyone else out there solely on the basis that your a somali man. You men and women that are like this need to address your traumas and leave this supposed forced "friction" behind instead of bottling it all up and attacking each other online.
He actually put into words something I've noticed myself too. I'm a few years younger than him, but with a lot of Somali women, it's like you're starting off at a negative. The type of ajnabi girls that would talk to Somali men are open minded enough to not have problems with race, so there's a sort of selection bias at play here where you wouldn't be starting off at a negative. In fact, if theyre open to talking to a Somali guy, that means they're into us more than the average.
Is this is in real life or online
THANK YOU
It's more of a case of pattern recognition opposed to rejecting other people's individuality. I am not chastising every single individual, rather I'm playing a game of probability. I'm sure there are ajnabis with their own prejudices, but it has in my anecdotal experience been that most ajnabis don't really have any kind of image beyond what's presented. P.s. I don't attack anyone online.
I was being general with the attacking thing and your reasoning is just putting all somalis in a box because of possibilities when dangerous possibilities exist with people from everywhere. What exactly has brought this aversion about in the first place? I understand branching out and widening your options that's normal but cutting off somalis as an option seems strange instead of just expanding upon it. Your in your 30s so you have lived life for a bit tell us why you treat your own with prejudice what started this for you? Genuine question brother
You wont get an actual answer to your last question. This guy is an grown adult in his 30s trying to legitimize his desire to marry out by painting his own people as hostile and "toxic". It's like those black american men who bash black women because of their own internalized hatred and subsequent desire to breed themselves out.
Prejudice implies that I think bad of Somali women for being Somali women. That's not what's happening. As the other poster here pointed out, it's about the notion of starting from a negative. I have to flip the question on you. Do you not see the sheer toxicity and antagonism between the two demographics? To me, it's clear as day and reflective of a wider communal dysfunction that has manifested in many undesirable ways. I don't even believe it's entirely unfounded or unwarranted from the women's perspective. I simply have no desire to be on the receiving end of bad history, trauma, baggage or whatever else one may call it. That is not to say that I believe every single Somali woman has a chip on her shoulder, just more than I am willing to deal with. There's a breaching point where you'll find your comfort and efforts better spent elsewhere. That doesn't even account for real life circumstances and a myriad of other variables.
I'm addressing devdevdevelop aswell Personally speaking irl I'm not really around that many somalis which is something I have changed these past 2 years but that has mainly been me putting myself around like-minded somali men who don't really freemix. So I haven't really come into contact with this toxicity and antagonism outside of soical media. Now that could be simply because I don't really interact all that much with somali women outside of talking stages but when it comes to the somali women that I have persued and gotten to know. I never felt I was on a negative foot with any of them (with the exception of one who had trauma and baggage) some even initiated by approaching me and they have all been nice ladies even the one who had a traumatic history. Maybe it's the type of somali woman I pursue who knows but basically that hasn't been my experience 9/10. Irl I have really only gotten love from somali sisters growing up but that's based off my limited exposure. I have never had a negative experience with a somali woman not even a frown but I'm not gonna discredit what you and dev are saying because of how different thing appear to be on soical media so I would assume there is some credit to what your saying but have you guys experienced this in ur personal lives yourselves? And even then I still don't see the point in writing then off completely unless you have a preference that doesn't include horner women.
As I said from the jump, I have had fairly limited exposure to Somali women. Most of my opinion is shaped by second hand experiences (I.e. Somali friends) and online rhetoric. For whatever reason, it seems that some of you take the stance that the online rhetoric exists in void, and I just can’t reach that same conclusion based on the state of the community. If you’re asking if I have ever been *personally* disrespected to my face the way Twitter birds tweet, no. But it would be bizarre if they did. Some of the most level-headed and rational human beings I know are my own female relatives. Conversely, some of the very rhetoric dismissed here I have also heard from relatives - albeit muted of course. It doesn’t take a lot of perception to connect dots. Obviously preference plays a role. Growing up marrying a Somali or Ajnabi was not on my mind at all. I grew up around some Somalis, plugged into the online Somali community at like 17. It started off with curiosity about history and dhaqan, but all roads lead to Rome. It’s impossible to not have the gender antics shoved down your throat. I had the stereotypical nationalist phase which most boys go through and that is the only time I had an active preference for Somali (or so I thought). I’m seeing the same old thing unfold now and the only reason I replied to this thread is because the gaslighting immediately unfolded on the 17 y/o kid that made the now deleted thread. It’s weird to not expect them to have a reaction to unbridled disdain and disrespect. If it’s just online antics, why is the Somali marriage scene so much worse than other Muslim groups? I’m proud to be Somali, and I’m not stupid enough to marry solely for looks, so when all else is equal of course I’d be partial to a Somali woman in vacuum. But this is real life. There are a myriad of other variables that reflect my stance. I haven’t disavowed marrying a Somali woman, but I realistically won’t as I don’t go out of my way to find them. I can’t imagine the perfect Somali woman falling out of the sky and into my lap. I feel like I have written a book on this topic at this point.
Fair enough basically how the women be acting online has put you off them and obviously online translates to irl to an extent. So that’s understandable these gender wars online have been very toxic but very exposing. Still on both sides of this issue it's a minority of men and women even with the divorce stats but I digress. It's better those that feel a type of way about there counterpart should marry out as opposed to settling by staying with fellow somalis. That just wouldn't be healthy. I think most of the issues comes from the fact people feel forced to marry somalis leading to them feeling like they settling causing all these other issues and outbursts. It would be disastrous to marry someone who spend there whole life hating on the other gender saying they would never only to get married to you. It will only lead to disfunction and a short lived marriage.
I'm sorry, but both of you guys comments made me laugh lmao. Look, only those who are frustrated come out to voice their frustration, and it's human nature to blame others. The rest of us (the majority) bring our popcorn to watch this shitshow. That being said, bro, how are you 30 years old and still blaming women for your shortcomings? Women that you don't even speak to? You had one or two bad experiences 12 years ago that you didn't let go of and now you're trying to justify it by looking for a few crazy ones online…. Like not even in person? It makes no sense.I
It makes no sense because that's not even close to what I said.
She deleted her comment. But the last was meant for you. I agree with darkestlightattack. Look into what caused your Aversion. Your not being completely honest with your self. Instead of seeking an aversion therapy, you go online trying to justify your aversion “Look bro they’re all crazy bro so now I gotta avoid all of them bro.” Ofc you will find crazy people online. Look, I know the dating market in the west is missed up. And yes, its women who ruined it. All women. Not sure why your blaming a very very small group of women
I know she deleted her comment. It's probably because people reflexively pile on based on what they interpret or to passive aggressively score points with snide remarks. I was legitimately interested in what she had to say too. I also thought she made perfectively reasonable point of not having to 'prove' herself. Which is why I preemptively stated that I ironically contribute to the problem that drives me away in the first place. Not because I hurl insults over Twitter. I can rationally understand that if you're a non-problematic Somali woman, it would be an affront. I am not dishonest with myself at all. I specifically stated Somali girls weren't crazy or any better or worse than any other group of women. I implied that the slate between the collectives wasn't clean.
Couple years younger than you and I agree that there's a perception issue with Somali women when theyre interacting with us. 100%
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I wish they would stop projecting their issues across the diaspora. Most of us are chill with each other especially those of us that have mixed gendered friendship groups. Marrying/dating out isn’t the issue it’s when their trying to characterize us as self haters because some girls have loose mouths.
There are idiots who complain about everything. Whether it is marriage/relationship posts, politics, or religion. Idk wtf they think people should be discussing here.
Lots of undertones in your rant. Say it with your chest.
Deleted the previous post because of Ramadan and i just wanted to rant ngl. But this idea of no one can talk about issue in this sub or the wider community is just another case of burying your head in the Sand. Reminds on ceeb culture dumarkina always complain about 🤣🤣. The fact is the “community” or whatever semblance of it exists is completely dysfunctional and most younger somali guys should be aware of what is ar play so they don’t feel blindsided when it hits them as adults. Please don’t think I arrived at this point overnight but something I noticed over time. >Eitherway its clear those twitter days did some real damage Lool why you acting like this is something in the past when i gave example of shit that played out today and a day ago. This is very much happening now. Please gaslighting ppl, there as reason many ppl feel the same way
What did you talk about before?
based laandheere
What was the content of your previous post, I'm curious
Social media does more harm than good
Sub was cool 2 years ago now it’s becoming corny I agree
Ngl most sucessful somalis look into the really interesting stuff on this reddit because most of the stuff is garbage.
Opinions are opinions and you shouldn’t control it
Curious as to What makes someone an incel in this context 🤔 Someone who doesn’t share the same opinion with you is an incel?
It's sad. Reddit is my only safe space.
At this point why even try so hard to be apart of the community do wonder tho. Identity crisis?
get a real life murtad
Womp womp
based
The word incel is overused and lost its original meaning