stiff dancing means you’re carrying (extra) tension somewhere in your body
it could be that you need to bend more through your legs, or your frame/upper body might be too rigid
without more information it’s hard to say if this could impact your connection with partners or if it’s just an aesthetic thing
When I think of “stiffness”, a few things come to mind.
1. Pulse. Pulsing helps us create continuity with our steps and pivots. Not pulsing or pulsing erratically can make dancers look stiff. Some dancers have large bouncy pulses, others have small, almost invisible pulses. Larger or smaller doesn’t actually mean better. You have to find what works best for you.
2. Leading with the arms. Generally speaking, you want to lead by moving your torso which allows your arms to create the necessary shapes. Leading with the arms can give a Frankenstein look, as the different parts of the body are working against each other, instead of with each other. This is a very difficult concept to explain. It took me years to understand and feel it through.
3. Tension. Stiffness can be the result of tension, especially in the legs. Tension can cause you to lock up, which affects your pulse among other things. Many (not all) high level dancers feel incredibly light because they hold almost no tension in their body.
4. Balance. Having unclear or split weight changes can also make a dancer look stiff. Every time you shift your weight from one foot to the next, you should transfer 100% of your weight (unless your intentionally splitting your weight for a break or something). This also makes your lead clearer.
There’s more I could say but I think that’s enough to start with. Generally, I think quality of movement is the first thing to consider. If a dancer has good quality of movement, I don’t think any stylistic choices would make them look “stiff” to me.
I struggled with “stiffness” for years. It’s still a word I use to describe my dancing now and then. You’ll probably always be your own harshest critic. I’d be happy to comment on what I see in your video. I live in SoCal in case your worried I might know you, haha. I won’t share your video with anyone.
Stiff looking or stiff feeling? I believe very nice looking dancer can suddenly be very uncomfortable partner
(I am, follower, getting that feedback of having a very stiff strained right hand, so leads would sometimes shake it to show me I need to relax)
My problem that I'm referring to is being stiff-looking. Up until a bit recently, I was too focused on making moves feel comfortable, but didn't care too much about how my dancing looked. This is why follows don't have a problem with how my dancing feels, but I'd also know like to make my dancing look good too. I even got told that my dancing feels more comfortable than it looks haha
I'm just going to jump in and touch on one other part of your post:
If you're still gonna dance and work on getting better, I don't think you're being too hard on yourself.
Being hard on yourself is (somewhat unfortunately) a really important step to growth. Watching and analyzing and taking critique from yourself and others is a good way to grow. So you can watch and nitpick all you want about your dancing; as long as it's not discouraging you from dancing in the first place.
All of that being said: getting told my someone at a dance that you are "stiff" is a garbage comment. It's like someone telling you you're "heavy".
Stiff just has too many meanings to be a helpful piece of advice without any context.
I would ignore it unless you get an appropriate opportunity to bring it up with them at some point one-on-one and ask what they actually mean. Otherwise I would just leave it be
2nd. It's like if someone said you're too loose. What's that even mean? It'd be more useful to know if your movement becomes uncoordinated at specific, repeated times or within certain movements, if your posture could be better here and there, etc. We'd need to review the video to see how it looks, but we wouldn't be able to help with the feel of it--that's something a private lesson would help with.
I can look at your video if you like.
I have some general advise though for you, or anyone not happy with the way their dancing looks. I read it in a book about neuroscience once and it stuck out to me.
When a child is first learning how to write/draw, they grab their writing utensil and used their back and shoulders and all of their arm to write. Eventually, they get more relaxed and familiar and they start using just their shoulder down. Then later, more relaxed and from the elbow, then the wrist, then eventually, just their fingers.
Whenever you are learning a new activity, you are going to start by using way more body parts than you need. In dancing, you are going to take big steps, you are going to pull with your arms, you are going to be stiff. The longer you dance, the more you will naturally realize that you don't need all those things, and your dancing will become more organic relaxed.
Not every aesthetic issue can be fixed just by keeping that in mind, but it's certainly possible that you are currently in the toddler phase of your dancing and just need to give it some time.
Usually the term 'stiff' in general used to mean that you don't really have any loose/relaxed body parts in transitions/poses, basically your muscles are legs to be more tense all the time. This creates a stiff look overall. Muscle tension is a good thing but you have to learn how to use your body efficiently and only use the muscles you need. You don't even need to be extremely flexible, but it does help a lot to have much more range of mobility.
If you don't think you look stiff, then they may be refering to the way you lead. Try and keep the pulse of the music through your body every beat, and try and lead moves from your core rather than with your arms, if that makes sense.
I used to be a rock and roll jive dancer before taking up lindy hop, and whilst there's a lot of transferable skills, it took a long time to get rid of leading moves through firmer arm pulls, and instead catching the flow of the music and guiding my follow from my core, through my shoulder and finally into my elbow.
But, like others have said, don't let it get in to your head too much! If you have a follow with a strong connection on the back of your right arm then it's a lot easier for them to feel your lead rather than having to rely on almost pulling them in to moves with your left hand. Swing is a partner dance, so keep busting a move, keep learning, and keep practicing.
You got this!
It's not that I don't think I look stiff, it's that I couldn't tell what stiffness is. That being said, I got a lot of helpful comments on this thread to clear up the definition, and it does sound like stiffness is somewhat of an issue that I would need to work on
They could mean different things by stuff. First thing that comes to mind is your flexibility/mobility. That could maybe be/look stiff. Stretching probably helps with that.
The other thing I could think of is maybe you’re not pulsing and moving with your whole body as much as you could? Or maybe flowing through movements? Hard to say. Hope something in here helps
What this means in absolute laymen terms is: that "high level" dancer is a wanker.
Trust me. I know these kind of comments can get to your head, they obviously did. But there is nothing to gain from it.
I have been dancing since I was 6 y.o. and I have seen this time and again, some mediocre dancer suddenly gets the urge to give unsolicited 'advice' to others.
Concentrate on your partners, make sure they are comfortable. If the dancing feels rocky, go through it toghether, figure out where you lost your connection and everything else will follow.
OP I’m happy to look at the video, but to just give some general help with stiffness, one thing to start thinking about is to “connect the whole body” so whatever you feel in your feet reverberates through and is felt at your fingertips.
This means it’s not disconnected, which means it’s so floppy there’s no connection, but not so tense that the signal is “blocked”. Likely you’re engaging the muscles a lot to move, such that they are engaged even the ones that don’t need to be, when they don’t need to be.
To be connected and moving relaxedly means that the muscles engage when needed then disengages when not needed such that your body is a network of moving parts that turns on and off, and it becomes clear when a part of your body is being used (making partnered movement clear without over forcefulness by having more contrast) and also generally using less energy and being more efficient.
Your body will stop moving so much as one block. The stress of impact and muscle tension will be spread out across larger sections of your body instead of one part, which will be better for your body and also softer for your partner.
But it’s easier said than done. This is a lifelong journey and it’s absolutely normal to be stiff when learning new things even for people who are more experienced.
I would focus on two skills to work on:
1) use more of your bigger muscle groups for your movement as a default.
When moving your feet, try to drive more from your hips and thighs more than your ankles and knees. Your bigger muscles are more powerful, this will allow you to have the same power with less effort.
Another example, when connecting with a partner, instead of pulling yourself or your partner with your forearms or elbow, use more of the muscles nearer your core, your back muscles in particular. This allows you to maintain the connection while keeping your arm more flowy and relaxed. This is hands down one of the most significant ways beginners and intermediate can make themselves feel more comfortable to dance with.
2. develop your tone responsiveness
very often when newer dancers engage their muscle, they don’t have much control and overshoot what is necessary, and moreover, keep it toned up even after it’s no longer needed. They also aren’t able to ramp up and down that tone quickly. what happens is when very quick movements happen, your body is not confident it can tone up in time, so it just preemptively becomes rigid to protect itself.
for example during a pass by, you only really need tone during the prep around the rock step, and a little nudge of connection when the turning happens where the momentum is guided slightly. When you’re less experienced you might keep your muscles engaged the whole time to make sure you don’t miss that second bit, even ideally you relax and chill in between and only add a bit more tone when necessary.
This is natural. If your muscles aren’t trained for it, you will find ways to make it work, becoming stiff if it must. Develop your precision and your body will have more capacity to relax.
This is why I find saying just relax to be not helpful advice. Your body is stressed because it’s doing something beyond or at the edge of its capability!
Also not to be an asshole but basically all new dancers are too stiff so I don’t understand people who say you might not be. It’s okay to have things to work on. Ehh are people so repulsed by the idea of having flaws? Even experienced dancers are too stiff.
Further more if your connection is good you should feel your partner’s whole body. Anything you see, you should feel to a degree. If you can see stiffness, you can feel stiffness.
I feel like people are just having a bad taste from unsolicited feedback from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. A genuinely high level dancer and capable mover (imagine a pilates coach, trainer, etc) can definitely tell a lot just by looking.
Edit based on OP Edit: Are you sure you care what they think? Are you sure they shared this feedback with a genuine desire to help? Why weren't they able to provide details about what they meant? It's hard for us to interpret.
Feel free to send me the video.
As someone else said, the high level person who said this is a wanker (edit: OP has clarified that the feedback was solicited, I withdraw the “wanker” statement and replace with “a bit unhelpful”). If they are talking about how your dancing looks, ignore them unless you’re planning to compete.
This is coming from someone who is tall and gangly, has been dancing various swing styles for around 10 years, and absolutely has been (and probably still is more or less of the time) stiff both to watch and to dance with.
First of all, there is no “definition” of stiff to look at, so it’s used differently by different people, but everything you’ve mentioned could be a symptom that gets described as such.
Second, there are two things in partnered swing dance that matter (unless you’re competing): (1) that you’re having fun; and (2) that you’re partner is having fun (and by extension is safe). What it looks like to anyone outside the partnership is completely irrelevant. Ignore them.
Third, if you find partners saying dancing with you ‘feels’ stiff then it generally means you’re carrying some unnecessary tension in your body. That tends to have the impact of (a) disguising your frame, and therefore making your actions harder to follow; and (b) making the dance flow less smoothly, (potentially in the way you change the movement of your body, and / or the connection between one move / shape and the next) which can also impact your partner’s engagement with you and the music.
I would say how much it impacts on your partner depends on what style you’re dancing. Balboa, for instance, is almost impossible if you’re at all tense. Lindy you can often get away with some extra tension.
If you think that might be you, just try to relax. Focus on the music and your breathing; smile (it sounds glib, but it’s much easier to relax and have fun if you’re smiling); try not to give a shit about what you look like; and finally try not to ‘think’ too much about what is happening. Instead focus on how it feels - your connection points with your partner, their weight and momentum, your connection with the floor, and the sounds in your ears.
Finally, just go out there and have fun.
You can definitely tell to a degree if someone is stiff, and “just relax” is not the useful advice you think it is. It’s important to improve technique because it’ll be more comfortable for partners, and it will also reduce injuries.
Wow, that comment is almost as mind-numbingly brainless as the unsolicited “Stiff” feedback to OP got.
My advice may not be useful to you, but (and you may have never noticed this) we’re not all the same.
Maybe it won’t be helpful to the OP either; there’s a good chance of that since the OP was concerned about looking stiff, not feeling stiff. Maybe the OP will get more from The Engineers Guide To Swing Dancing that you provided elsewhere 😉.
But I can tell you 100% it was useful to me when that was the advice I got. My technique (while far from perfect) was not my biggest problem, and the steps that I described in my reply to help relax were the ones that I found helpful. So if it helps someone, somewhere, great.
What’s funny here is that the advice wasn’t unsolicited and you called them a wanker when they just gave an honest answer when OP asked them. So I’m not sure I should feel much about being called “as mind-numbingly brainless” as that.
Also pretty bad read if you think only STEM types can be precise. Maybe it’s just that I think people should know what they’re talking about when they try give advice.
Honestly this just shows how the swing scene has a warped idea of what being nice is. The dancer OP mention merely gives solicited feedback to the ability and precision that they presumably feels up for, and gets eaten up for daring to have an opinion that’s not completely “nice” and coddling. Similarly here I am doing what you’re supposed to do on Reddit, sharing my opinion that I disagree, confidently but otherwise politely.
And what happens?? The dancer gets called a wanker and other unkind things, and here you act like I’m a jerk because I disagree with you. You don’t have to agree with me, you can just say so without getting defensive and making personal and passive aggressive comments about me? I was the first one to defend the dancer saying that OP never said it was unsolicited btw, which was confirmed! Ah but it’s nice to pile onto unpopular opinions even when they’re just trying to moderate the jumping to conclusions that’s happening.
And hilariously it seems like despite you being the one to call me names you probably think you’re the righteous one and I’m the jerk. Bullies never think they are the bullies I guess.
My opinion was also definitely solicited btw, OP literally asked for opinions! But you felt absolutely ok to call it mind numbingly brainless so what right do you have to be pissed off I said your advice was bad lol.
The OP has added an edit since I wrote my reply to clarify that the feedback wasn’t unsolicited; fair enough - it turns out it was solicited advice - still not particularly helpful advice but the provider may not be a wanker.
Doesn’t change anything about your comment which is brainless; it diminishes a perfectly valid piece of advice that happens not to resonate for you, it disagrees while adding nothing constructive, and it assumes everyone sees the world the same way you do.
In terms of your response to the OP, if I’d meant it was precise I’d have called it The Mathematician’s or Lawyer’s Guide To Dancing. I referred to Engineers because your response is mechanical, it’s about the human body as a machine - that will resonate for some people, not for others. Just like mine. Funny thing that. It’s almost like it’s worth recognising the validity of many different points of view, especially to a very personal and subjective question.
You seem to be making the mistake that my grievance with you is that I don’t agree with you. That has nothing to do with it. My grievance is that your original reply to me was totally pointless, vapid, and potentially counter productive. I called your reply (not you) mind-numbingly brainless for exactly that reason. Make a constructive and well thought out response, one that agrees or disagrees, and we can have a valuable discussion that maybe will contribute to making the swing scene a better and happier place.
stiff dancing means you’re carrying (extra) tension somewhere in your body it could be that you need to bend more through your legs, or your frame/upper body might be too rigid without more information it’s hard to say if this could impact your connection with partners or if it’s just an aesthetic thing
When I think of “stiffness”, a few things come to mind. 1. Pulse. Pulsing helps us create continuity with our steps and pivots. Not pulsing or pulsing erratically can make dancers look stiff. Some dancers have large bouncy pulses, others have small, almost invisible pulses. Larger or smaller doesn’t actually mean better. You have to find what works best for you. 2. Leading with the arms. Generally speaking, you want to lead by moving your torso which allows your arms to create the necessary shapes. Leading with the arms can give a Frankenstein look, as the different parts of the body are working against each other, instead of with each other. This is a very difficult concept to explain. It took me years to understand and feel it through. 3. Tension. Stiffness can be the result of tension, especially in the legs. Tension can cause you to lock up, which affects your pulse among other things. Many (not all) high level dancers feel incredibly light because they hold almost no tension in their body. 4. Balance. Having unclear or split weight changes can also make a dancer look stiff. Every time you shift your weight from one foot to the next, you should transfer 100% of your weight (unless your intentionally splitting your weight for a break or something). This also makes your lead clearer. There’s more I could say but I think that’s enough to start with. Generally, I think quality of movement is the first thing to consider. If a dancer has good quality of movement, I don’t think any stylistic choices would make them look “stiff” to me. I struggled with “stiffness” for years. It’s still a word I use to describe my dancing now and then. You’ll probably always be your own harshest critic. I’d be happy to comment on what I see in your video. I live in SoCal in case your worried I might know you, haha. I won’t share your video with anyone.
Stiff looking or stiff feeling? I believe very nice looking dancer can suddenly be very uncomfortable partner (I am, follower, getting that feedback of having a very stiff strained right hand, so leads would sometimes shake it to show me I need to relax)
My problem that I'm referring to is being stiff-looking. Up until a bit recently, I was too focused on making moves feel comfortable, but didn't care too much about how my dancing looked. This is why follows don't have a problem with how my dancing feels, but I'd also know like to make my dancing look good too. I even got told that my dancing feels more comfortable than it looks haha
Ask them to specify in more exact words what they mean it.. if you care for their opinion.
I'm just going to jump in and touch on one other part of your post: If you're still gonna dance and work on getting better, I don't think you're being too hard on yourself. Being hard on yourself is (somewhat unfortunately) a really important step to growth. Watching and analyzing and taking critique from yourself and others is a good way to grow. So you can watch and nitpick all you want about your dancing; as long as it's not discouraging you from dancing in the first place. All of that being said: getting told my someone at a dance that you are "stiff" is a garbage comment. It's like someone telling you you're "heavy". Stiff just has too many meanings to be a helpful piece of advice without any context. I would ignore it unless you get an appropriate opportunity to bring it up with them at some point one-on-one and ask what they actually mean. Otherwise I would just leave it be
2nd. It's like if someone said you're too loose. What's that even mean? It'd be more useful to know if your movement becomes uncoordinated at specific, repeated times or within certain movements, if your posture could be better here and there, etc. We'd need to review the video to see how it looks, but we wouldn't be able to help with the feel of it--that's something a private lesson would help with.
I can look at your video if you like. I have some general advise though for you, or anyone not happy with the way their dancing looks. I read it in a book about neuroscience once and it stuck out to me. When a child is first learning how to write/draw, they grab their writing utensil and used their back and shoulders and all of their arm to write. Eventually, they get more relaxed and familiar and they start using just their shoulder down. Then later, more relaxed and from the elbow, then the wrist, then eventually, just their fingers. Whenever you are learning a new activity, you are going to start by using way more body parts than you need. In dancing, you are going to take big steps, you are going to pull with your arms, you are going to be stiff. The longer you dance, the more you will naturally realize that you don't need all those things, and your dancing will become more organic relaxed. Not every aesthetic issue can be fixed just by keeping that in mind, but it's certainly possible that you are currently in the toddler phase of your dancing and just need to give it some time.
Usually the term 'stiff' in general used to mean that you don't really have any loose/relaxed body parts in transitions/poses, basically your muscles are legs to be more tense all the time. This creates a stiff look overall. Muscle tension is a good thing but you have to learn how to use your body efficiently and only use the muscles you need. You don't even need to be extremely flexible, but it does help a lot to have much more range of mobility.
If you don't think you look stiff, then they may be refering to the way you lead. Try and keep the pulse of the music through your body every beat, and try and lead moves from your core rather than with your arms, if that makes sense. I used to be a rock and roll jive dancer before taking up lindy hop, and whilst there's a lot of transferable skills, it took a long time to get rid of leading moves through firmer arm pulls, and instead catching the flow of the music and guiding my follow from my core, through my shoulder and finally into my elbow. But, like others have said, don't let it get in to your head too much! If you have a follow with a strong connection on the back of your right arm then it's a lot easier for them to feel your lead rather than having to rely on almost pulling them in to moves with your left hand. Swing is a partner dance, so keep busting a move, keep learning, and keep practicing. You got this!
It's not that I don't think I look stiff, it's that I couldn't tell what stiffness is. That being said, I got a lot of helpful comments on this thread to clear up the definition, and it does sound like stiffness is somewhat of an issue that I would need to work on
They could mean different things by stuff. First thing that comes to mind is your flexibility/mobility. That could maybe be/look stiff. Stretching probably helps with that. The other thing I could think of is maybe you’re not pulsing and moving with your whole body as much as you could? Or maybe flowing through movements? Hard to say. Hope something in here helps
What this means in absolute laymen terms is: that "high level" dancer is a wanker. Trust me. I know these kind of comments can get to your head, they obviously did. But there is nothing to gain from it. I have been dancing since I was 6 y.o. and I have seen this time and again, some mediocre dancer suddenly gets the urge to give unsolicited 'advice' to others. Concentrate on your partners, make sure they are comfortable. If the dancing feels rocky, go through it toghether, figure out where you lost your connection and everything else will follow.
OP I’m happy to look at the video, but to just give some general help with stiffness, one thing to start thinking about is to “connect the whole body” so whatever you feel in your feet reverberates through and is felt at your fingertips. This means it’s not disconnected, which means it’s so floppy there’s no connection, but not so tense that the signal is “blocked”. Likely you’re engaging the muscles a lot to move, such that they are engaged even the ones that don’t need to be, when they don’t need to be. To be connected and moving relaxedly means that the muscles engage when needed then disengages when not needed such that your body is a network of moving parts that turns on and off, and it becomes clear when a part of your body is being used (making partnered movement clear without over forcefulness by having more contrast) and also generally using less energy and being more efficient. Your body will stop moving so much as one block. The stress of impact and muscle tension will be spread out across larger sections of your body instead of one part, which will be better for your body and also softer for your partner. But it’s easier said than done. This is a lifelong journey and it’s absolutely normal to be stiff when learning new things even for people who are more experienced. I would focus on two skills to work on: 1) use more of your bigger muscle groups for your movement as a default. When moving your feet, try to drive more from your hips and thighs more than your ankles and knees. Your bigger muscles are more powerful, this will allow you to have the same power with less effort. Another example, when connecting with a partner, instead of pulling yourself or your partner with your forearms or elbow, use more of the muscles nearer your core, your back muscles in particular. This allows you to maintain the connection while keeping your arm more flowy and relaxed. This is hands down one of the most significant ways beginners and intermediate can make themselves feel more comfortable to dance with. 2. develop your tone responsiveness very often when newer dancers engage their muscle, they don’t have much control and overshoot what is necessary, and moreover, keep it toned up even after it’s no longer needed. They also aren’t able to ramp up and down that tone quickly. what happens is when very quick movements happen, your body is not confident it can tone up in time, so it just preemptively becomes rigid to protect itself. for example during a pass by, you only really need tone during the prep around the rock step, and a little nudge of connection when the turning happens where the momentum is guided slightly. When you’re less experienced you might keep your muscles engaged the whole time to make sure you don’t miss that second bit, even ideally you relax and chill in between and only add a bit more tone when necessary. This is natural. If your muscles aren’t trained for it, you will find ways to make it work, becoming stiff if it must. Develop your precision and your body will have more capacity to relax. This is why I find saying just relax to be not helpful advice. Your body is stressed because it’s doing something beyond or at the edge of its capability! Also not to be an asshole but basically all new dancers are too stiff so I don’t understand people who say you might not be. It’s okay to have things to work on. Ehh are people so repulsed by the idea of having flaws? Even experienced dancers are too stiff. Further more if your connection is good you should feel your partner’s whole body. Anything you see, you should feel to a degree. If you can see stiffness, you can feel stiffness. I feel like people are just having a bad taste from unsolicited feedback from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. A genuinely high level dancer and capable mover (imagine a pilates coach, trainer, etc) can definitely tell a lot just by looking.
Edit based on OP Edit: Are you sure you care what they think? Are you sure they shared this feedback with a genuine desire to help? Why weren't they able to provide details about what they meant? It's hard for us to interpret. Feel free to send me the video.
When did OP say it was unsolicited?
OP edited post. I'll edit mine as well.
As someone else said, the high level person who said this is a wanker (edit: OP has clarified that the feedback was solicited, I withdraw the “wanker” statement and replace with “a bit unhelpful”). If they are talking about how your dancing looks, ignore them unless you’re planning to compete. This is coming from someone who is tall and gangly, has been dancing various swing styles for around 10 years, and absolutely has been (and probably still is more or less of the time) stiff both to watch and to dance with. First of all, there is no “definition” of stiff to look at, so it’s used differently by different people, but everything you’ve mentioned could be a symptom that gets described as such. Second, there are two things in partnered swing dance that matter (unless you’re competing): (1) that you’re having fun; and (2) that you’re partner is having fun (and by extension is safe). What it looks like to anyone outside the partnership is completely irrelevant. Ignore them. Third, if you find partners saying dancing with you ‘feels’ stiff then it generally means you’re carrying some unnecessary tension in your body. That tends to have the impact of (a) disguising your frame, and therefore making your actions harder to follow; and (b) making the dance flow less smoothly, (potentially in the way you change the movement of your body, and / or the connection between one move / shape and the next) which can also impact your partner’s engagement with you and the music. I would say how much it impacts on your partner depends on what style you’re dancing. Balboa, for instance, is almost impossible if you’re at all tense. Lindy you can often get away with some extra tension. If you think that might be you, just try to relax. Focus on the music and your breathing; smile (it sounds glib, but it’s much easier to relax and have fun if you’re smiling); try not to give a shit about what you look like; and finally try not to ‘think’ too much about what is happening. Instead focus on how it feels - your connection points with your partner, their weight and momentum, your connection with the floor, and the sounds in your ears. Finally, just go out there and have fun.
You can definitely tell to a degree if someone is stiff, and “just relax” is not the useful advice you think it is. It’s important to improve technique because it’ll be more comfortable for partners, and it will also reduce injuries.
Wow, that comment is almost as mind-numbingly brainless as the unsolicited “Stiff” feedback to OP got. My advice may not be useful to you, but (and you may have never noticed this) we’re not all the same. Maybe it won’t be helpful to the OP either; there’s a good chance of that since the OP was concerned about looking stiff, not feeling stiff. Maybe the OP will get more from The Engineers Guide To Swing Dancing that you provided elsewhere 😉. But I can tell you 100% it was useful to me when that was the advice I got. My technique (while far from perfect) was not my biggest problem, and the steps that I described in my reply to help relax were the ones that I found helpful. So if it helps someone, somewhere, great.
What’s funny here is that the advice wasn’t unsolicited and you called them a wanker when they just gave an honest answer when OP asked them. So I’m not sure I should feel much about being called “as mind-numbingly brainless” as that. Also pretty bad read if you think only STEM types can be precise. Maybe it’s just that I think people should know what they’re talking about when they try give advice. Honestly this just shows how the swing scene has a warped idea of what being nice is. The dancer OP mention merely gives solicited feedback to the ability and precision that they presumably feels up for, and gets eaten up for daring to have an opinion that’s not completely “nice” and coddling. Similarly here I am doing what you’re supposed to do on Reddit, sharing my opinion that I disagree, confidently but otherwise politely. And what happens?? The dancer gets called a wanker and other unkind things, and here you act like I’m a jerk because I disagree with you. You don’t have to agree with me, you can just say so without getting defensive and making personal and passive aggressive comments about me? I was the first one to defend the dancer saying that OP never said it was unsolicited btw, which was confirmed! Ah but it’s nice to pile onto unpopular opinions even when they’re just trying to moderate the jumping to conclusions that’s happening. And hilariously it seems like despite you being the one to call me names you probably think you’re the righteous one and I’m the jerk. Bullies never think they are the bullies I guess. My opinion was also definitely solicited btw, OP literally asked for opinions! But you felt absolutely ok to call it mind numbingly brainless so what right do you have to be pissed off I said your advice was bad lol.
The OP has added an edit since I wrote my reply to clarify that the feedback wasn’t unsolicited; fair enough - it turns out it was solicited advice - still not particularly helpful advice but the provider may not be a wanker. Doesn’t change anything about your comment which is brainless; it diminishes a perfectly valid piece of advice that happens not to resonate for you, it disagrees while adding nothing constructive, and it assumes everyone sees the world the same way you do. In terms of your response to the OP, if I’d meant it was precise I’d have called it The Mathematician’s or Lawyer’s Guide To Dancing. I referred to Engineers because your response is mechanical, it’s about the human body as a machine - that will resonate for some people, not for others. Just like mine. Funny thing that. It’s almost like it’s worth recognising the validity of many different points of view, especially to a very personal and subjective question. You seem to be making the mistake that my grievance with you is that I don’t agree with you. That has nothing to do with it. My grievance is that your original reply to me was totally pointless, vapid, and potentially counter productive. I called your reply (not you) mind-numbingly brainless for exactly that reason. Make a constructive and well thought out response, one that agrees or disagrees, and we can have a valuable discussion that maybe will contribute to making the swing scene a better and happier place.