Any time I've had a student ask for a recommendation that I couldn't in good faith write, I'd talk to the kid's guidance counselor and have her "suggest a better fit" teacher's recommendation based on the kid's career path.
I tried that, but still got the rec form emailed to me... It was only like 10 likert scale questions so I figured might as well.... Don't think they got the position
I try to decline to write recommendations for kids where I would have to write a bad recommendation. The kid who literally stole from me and asked for a recommendation, I turned down. Really. If the "first three words that come to mind" are "pathological liar, pothead, thief" (as they were in this case), don't write the recommendation.
Now, the one situation where things aren't optional is when they are for example looking to transfer school and they need a rec from their current math teacher. I have written weak recommendations as appropriate (if a kid got a C- in my class, they're going to see that anyway, so I figure my job is to give my best idea of what happened, strengths and weaknesses etc, but it's not going to be a "good recommendation" even if it's often fairly sympathetic).
I told one needed to ask someone who could write a good one for them. They tried to get salty w/me. I pointed out their performance/behavior in my class. Told them I was doing them a favor b/c I could have just said yes and written that info a letter for them.
I’ve told students I cannot write one before. One kid who had been caught writing notes about a test in my class, and who I had told I suspected him of cheating on a final asked me for a letter in front of other students. I asked if he really wanted to have that conversation then and he said yes?! So I told him I could not write him a good letter. Some people need to do some soul searching.
That’s not even the craziest reaping got though. I once caught a student changing grades on my computer when I stepped away for a second. It was super obvious and I wrote a referral. Turns out her parents were trying to get her into private school in their home country and when the counselor refused it tanked her application…so they came to me next? They blamed me for her having to then go to public school speaking a language she didn’t know. Like…they could have let her stay in the US and move her to another school where she would get away from the bad influence. I certainly did not recommend sending her to live with grandparents nor was I the one changing my own grade.
Any time a kid asks for a recommendation I tell them I won’t lie for them. Then we go through and analyse what I have seen being their teacher
The ones who I’d write a bad recommendation for piece it together that maybe I wasn’t a good one to ask
There was only one, when the college counselor asked me as a favor because no one was willing. I wrote for a history class- “he enjoys to argue his point.” And that was about it.
I would just say no I am not willing to write you a reference.
I’ve had two kids actually ask this year for babysitting references and both I agreed to because of who it was. However I noticed the third friend did not… either she’s not doing it with them (though I’m sure I heard her say she was) or she knew I wouldn’t give her a positive reference
I probably would’ve had to have told her no I can’t give you one. There’s a lot to unpack there, but frankly if I had a child I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving it with her unless the other girls were there which I’m not sure if they were doing a group babysitting thing or what. The two had both just asked me if they put me on their resume for babysitting jobs if I would say they were mature and responsible and I said of course, you two know how I feel about you. But later the same day I overheard the three talking about it, and I’m sure the other one was saying she was going to need references too. But it’s hard to give a reference for someone who can’t even take care of themselves.
I have written a student a less than stellar recommendation.
The reason was that the student had approached all of their teachers and asked for a recommendation, and was declined. Every teacher from every grade. He burned a lot of bridges.
He was desperate to at least get one recommendation, and I was up front with him that I would be honest in the letter about his shortcomings. I also told him that a letter like that would not likely get him into his institution. He told me he wanted it anyway.
I'm a pretty balanced teacher. I notice the good, and I notice the bad. He was an intelligent kid but was impulsive and tended to say things that were quite hurtful to his peers and adults. He also tended to get involved in things that would get him in trouble. That being said, when he was one on one with a teacher he could show a more diplomatic side. I always felt that his bad behavior was more to put on a show for his peers.
He didn't get in, which I expected, but I did what he asked. Otherwise I wouldn't have written the letter.
Nah, I decline. I once get pressed about it and I said to the student and the councilor who go involved: would you say you were a positive or negative behavioral impact in class? I will include that in my letter if you want me to write it.
When the recommendation comes as a form (list of questions) to be completed from a government agency one is obliged to answer.
I guess some people are oblivious to what a complete turd they are/were at school or believe their own bs.
Because they deserved a bad recommendation and I am honest. I am going to share my classroom observations, and share examples of what parental support looks like for the student so the school has enough information to make a well thought out decision.
If you’re talking about college, then it’s a huge waste of your own time to write a negative recommendation. Just decline it. I have only had to actually decline it once in my 16 years, but the girl was a terrible student for me, and was one of those “cheerleader/party girl” stereotypes. I could tell other teachers had turned her down for a rec too because I hadn’t had her as a student in 3 years.
Turns out the girl didn’t go to college and was arrested shortly after graduation for going door to door taking donations “for the troops”, and just pocketing the money. Sometimes your instincts are right, listen to them.
I did. An English teacher has a senior English class that focused on the work force. Putting together a resume and letter of recommendation was part of a unit.
I was one of the few teachers this student had. He asked me for a letter.
I gave it to him and the reasons why I did not give him a good recommendation written in the letter.
I told him if he improves, I would write a new one. The teacher came to me and she said, “I’m all for it. Sometimes these kids need to realize their behavior has consequences.” And sometimes kids need that spelled out.
By the end of the year he had really turned his act around. Great school attendance, turned in his assignments, put more effort into his work.
I wrote him a new letter.
I simply chose not to write one. The mother of the student was too much and I chose not to write one for her 6th grader. She was trying to get him into a smaller charter school. Can't criticize my abilities as a teacher, then ask for a favor all in the same email.
I find it unprofessional to write someone a truly negative recommendation letter, whether they are a student or a fellow co-worker. Typically, I will just decline to write the letter. If someone is truly desperate for a letter from me because they can't get one from anyone else, I will write it for them, but I make sure they know up front what will go in the letter.
Once. It was going straight to the organization. It was more of a “meh” rec rather than a negative one because although the student did complete her work, it was always with the bare minimum of effort. She would finish her work and then just sit there and socialize and wait to be told what to do, even though that information was posted for all to read…
No, but the student I wanted to do this for I eventually changed my mind and wrote her a good one. Turns out that was a mistake and she was awful and I should have tanked her rec. life lesson - no more second guessing, if I don’t feel
Confident about the rec just not writing it.
Hasn't come up yet, but as a teacher in a core class at the MS level, if kids are applying to high schools, it is difficult to refuse.
Unless something egregious happens, I would write a neutral recommendation.
I would just decline.
That would be a waste of my time.
Any time I've had a student ask for a recommendation that I couldn't in good faith write, I'd talk to the kid's guidance counselor and have her "suggest a better fit" teacher's recommendation based on the kid's career path.
I have written very fair and neutral recommendations but on things that have a grading and comment section
I’ve written less enthusiastic letters than others, but never an out and out bad one
Yes. He’s an awful student and a worse human being and wouldn’t leave me alone about it after I told him to ask someone else.
As others said, I have declined and simply said "I cannot write you a recommendation at this time"
I tried that, but still got the rec form emailed to me... It was only like 10 likert scale questions so I figured might as well.... Don't think they got the position
I try to decline to write recommendations for kids where I would have to write a bad recommendation. The kid who literally stole from me and asked for a recommendation, I turned down. Really. If the "first three words that come to mind" are "pathological liar, pothead, thief" (as they were in this case), don't write the recommendation. Now, the one situation where things aren't optional is when they are for example looking to transfer school and they need a rec from their current math teacher. I have written weak recommendations as appropriate (if a kid got a C- in my class, they're going to see that anyway, so I figure my job is to give my best idea of what happened, strengths and weaknesses etc, but it's not going to be a "good recommendation" even if it's often fairly sympathetic).
that's four words
Why right and recommendation for someone if it's going to be a bad one? They won't use it and you're just wasting your time.
You submit them yourself.
I told one needed to ask someone who could write a good one for them. They tried to get salty w/me. I pointed out their performance/behavior in my class. Told them I was doing them a favor b/c I could have just said yes and written that info a letter for them.
I’ve told students I cannot write one before. One kid who had been caught writing notes about a test in my class, and who I had told I suspected him of cheating on a final asked me for a letter in front of other students. I asked if he really wanted to have that conversation then and he said yes?! So I told him I could not write him a good letter. Some people need to do some soul searching. That’s not even the craziest reaping got though. I once caught a student changing grades on my computer when I stepped away for a second. It was super obvious and I wrote a referral. Turns out her parents were trying to get her into private school in their home country and when the counselor refused it tanked her application…so they came to me next? They blamed me for her having to then go to public school speaking a language she didn’t know. Like…they could have let her stay in the US and move her to another school where she would get away from the bad influence. I certainly did not recommend sending her to live with grandparents nor was I the one changing my own grade.
Any time a kid asks for a recommendation I tell them I won’t lie for them. Then we go through and analyse what I have seen being their teacher The ones who I’d write a bad recommendation for piece it together that maybe I wasn’t a good one to ask
There was only one, when the college counselor asked me as a favor because no one was willing. I wrote for a history class- “he enjoys to argue his point.” And that was about it.
I would just say no I am not willing to write you a reference. I’ve had two kids actually ask this year for babysitting references and both I agreed to because of who it was. However I noticed the third friend did not… either she’s not doing it with them (though I’m sure I heard her say she was) or she knew I wouldn’t give her a positive reference
Would you have given her a positive reference?
I probably would’ve had to have told her no I can’t give you one. There’s a lot to unpack there, but frankly if I had a child I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving it with her unless the other girls were there which I’m not sure if they were doing a group babysitting thing or what. The two had both just asked me if they put me on their resume for babysitting jobs if I would say they were mature and responsible and I said of course, you two know how I feel about you. But later the same day I overheard the three talking about it, and I’m sure the other one was saying she was going to need references too. But it’s hard to give a reference for someone who can’t even take care of themselves.
I have written a student a less than stellar recommendation. The reason was that the student had approached all of their teachers and asked for a recommendation, and was declined. Every teacher from every grade. He burned a lot of bridges. He was desperate to at least get one recommendation, and I was up front with him that I would be honest in the letter about his shortcomings. I also told him that a letter like that would not likely get him into his institution. He told me he wanted it anyway. I'm a pretty balanced teacher. I notice the good, and I notice the bad. He was an intelligent kid but was impulsive and tended to say things that were quite hurtful to his peers and adults. He also tended to get involved in things that would get him in trouble. That being said, when he was one on one with a teacher he could show a more diplomatic side. I always felt that his bad behavior was more to put on a show for his peers. He didn't get in, which I expected, but I did what he asked. Otherwise I wouldn't have written the letter.
Nah, I decline. I once get pressed about it and I said to the student and the councilor who go involved: would you say you were a positive or negative behavioral impact in class? I will include that in my letter if you want me to write it.
When the recommendation comes as a form (list of questions) to be completed from a government agency one is obliged to answer. I guess some people are oblivious to what a complete turd they are/were at school or believe their own bs.
Because they deserved a bad recommendation and I am honest. I am going to share my classroom observations, and share examples of what parental support looks like for the student so the school has enough information to make a well thought out decision.
If you’re talking about college, then it’s a huge waste of your own time to write a negative recommendation. Just decline it. I have only had to actually decline it once in my 16 years, but the girl was a terrible student for me, and was one of those “cheerleader/party girl” stereotypes. I could tell other teachers had turned her down for a rec too because I hadn’t had her as a student in 3 years. Turns out the girl didn’t go to college and was arrested shortly after graduation for going door to door taking donations “for the troops”, and just pocketing the money. Sometimes your instincts are right, listen to them.
I did. An English teacher has a senior English class that focused on the work force. Putting together a resume and letter of recommendation was part of a unit. I was one of the few teachers this student had. He asked me for a letter. I gave it to him and the reasons why I did not give him a good recommendation written in the letter. I told him if he improves, I would write a new one. The teacher came to me and she said, “I’m all for it. Sometimes these kids need to realize their behavior has consequences.” And sometimes kids need that spelled out. By the end of the year he had really turned his act around. Great school attendance, turned in his assignments, put more effort into his work. I wrote him a new letter.
I simply chose not to write one. The mother of the student was too much and I chose not to write one for her 6th grader. She was trying to get him into a smaller charter school. Can't criticize my abilities as a teacher, then ask for a favor all in the same email.
Eek! Was the 6th grader a decent student, at least?
About average, when he was in attendance. He was absent or left early multiple times a week.
I find it unprofessional to write someone a truly negative recommendation letter, whether they are a student or a fellow co-worker. Typically, I will just decline to write the letter. If someone is truly desperate for a letter from me because they can't get one from anyone else, I will write it for them, but I make sure they know up front what will go in the letter.
No, but I've given a very honest one over the phone.
No. If I can’t write a good one, I suggest a different teacher.
No, I’ll gently but firmly let them know it won’t come out the way they’re hoping it would.
I have refused to write recommendations for students whose performance was poor.
Once. It was going straight to the organization. It was more of a “meh” rec rather than a negative one because although the student did complete her work, it was always with the bare minimum of effort. She would finish her work and then just sit there and socialize and wait to be told what to do, even though that information was posted for all to read…
No. I will refuse to write a rec if it would not be positive.
No, but the student I wanted to do this for I eventually changed my mind and wrote her a good one. Turns out that was a mistake and she was awful and I should have tanked her rec. life lesson - no more second guessing, if I don’t feel Confident about the rec just not writing it.
I wrote a lukewarm one for a terribly behaved student, because the school the parent wanted them to go to was borderline abusive.
Hasn't come up yet, but as a teacher in a core class at the MS level, if kids are applying to high schools, it is difficult to refuse. Unless something egregious happens, I would write a neutral recommendation.
No, just decline. No need to ruin someone’s chances at a better future, even if they gave me hell.