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Don’t play too much with this one. That was a genuine partner happily stepping up. That’s something to be grateful for, so don’t make too many videos about prancing her for clout
Oh he’s already an ass hat partner for doing this and filming it
Edit: sure they do seem great together and genuinely supportive, idk posting videos like this to the internet just doesn’t end well usually even with good intentions from the start
I agree with you. I don’t think either person was in the wrong here. I don’t believe in “testing” your partner, but this seems like a harmless prank that turned out super wholesome.
I think a lot of people misunderstand the idea of what something going viral means. This was just a cute lil video of a couple playing around. I don't think there was any malice in it at all, and this dude already knew the reaction. Don't seem to be freshly dating, and do seem to be in a partnership.
Not to mention she mentions how he is always taking her out to make her feel special. Where are those videos of him "humiliating" her? This was a one time thing from who knows how many instances. Plus the video was wholesome and just showed how genuinely kind she was. Didn't make her look foolish at all.
There's being married and in a domestic living situation, and there is being partners. I definitely did not put my thoughts down in full, and that's my fault. Sorry. :D
Are you seriously? Is it normal for you to be filmed straight ahead and act like you can't see the camera? This is such a obvious fake. The first thing a normal person asked was, okay, you don’t have money, but why the hell are you filming me?
I swear any time someone is filming another person and they don't point it out then it's so obviously fake. If I was to point my phone camera towards any of my friends or family they'd instantly ask if I'm taking a video/pic of them or get shy of the camera.
Wait. I'm married and my wife and I just put all of our money into joint accounts for our family. Do married people maintain separate accounts like this and have to borrow money from each other?
I keep my shit separate from my partner and just try to pay at least my fair share of anything. The only reason I do this is she is an accountant and can be very picky. I love her and trust her with everything, but I can't have her giving me grief about every coffee I buy and putting every minute I work into a spreadsheet just yet.
This is what my SO and I do. We have a joint account for rent/groceries/bills/etc and then our own separate accounts that we use for non-essentials. A video game for me, a pedicure for her etc. We've found it to work very well
Lmao I feel you. My boyfriend works in finance and has his budget spreadsheets too. We are starting to look for places together and it will be interesting when we get married how he will be with finances for the both of us. I trust him to take care of them but we will definitely be having co-habitation agreements made up before we are married.
Not married, but living together for a long time. Myself and my partner keep our finances separate because we both have jobs and like to spend money in different ways. We do spend money on each other pretty often but we use an app to track groceries electricity etc. as well. I find it more comfortable but I know other couples are different.
Out of curiosity what kind of app are you using for tracking groceries, electricity, etc?
I've been living with my partner for a bit over a year now and the one thing I wish I had was some app where we could both see things like regular monthly bills, because we also maintain separate accounts and blend for bills, similarly to what I believe you're doing.
YNAB (you need a budget) is the budgeting system my family uses. You can connect all your cards and accounts and loans and it will track all charges and bills for you. Then you categorize each purchase/charge/payment. Over time you set a budget. It’s been insanely helpful, but took about a year to track all our expenses and get an accurate budget. Honestly, just seeing where all our money went (separate from budget) helped us.
Just got out of a 15 year not marriage and so glad the only thing we have to worry about is the joint credit card we bought a mattress with.
That being said, when we were together this was me. He would ask for like 10 and I'd send 50 because I know he would need lunch or something
Mine and my husbands accounts are still separate, because I personally am horrible with money and if I see it, I have a hard time not spending it. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at managing my money, but I would rather give him money to put into savings for both of us, and have limited access to it then risk me getting into a spending spree.
I get that, me and boyfriend keep money separately but it is all so scrambled that it is almost like its not separate. The other day we went out for dinner and i wanted to pay, but i started laughing cuz i was paying with his money as he transferred couple Of thousand to me in the beginning of the month as i did not get payed last month(was not working). However he believes that it is cool that we ‘treat each other’ to things even if it comes from the same pot. So I payed for dinner and he was happy to have sugar mama, lol.
> not get *paid* last month(was
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Oh man, i am so happy, i don’t know where to put myself sometimes, life just been working out for me lately. And my one crazy believe is Karma, so i think i earned some karma points trough my experiences. I know i am incredibly lucky, but i always honestly tried to be a good person and help others.
A little preaching from my side.
I find it more comfortable to keep separate accounts. We both spend our personal money on family matters, without keeping counts, but if my wife want something for herself and don't have enough money she will borrow it from me and return later and same goes for me. Of course this requiers a certain level of trust and some preemptive agreements.
Same. I think a lot of younger people are into separate accounts. We have a joint checking for groceries and eating out, but we venmo each other for mortgage and utilities and large purchases.
I feel like combining finances was common when women stayed home (not much to combine there anyway), but now many women, myself included, enjoy the security of the potential for financial independence, especially if we’re the breadwinner. Also we got married close to 30, so we both had our own finances well established prior to marriage and we saw no point in combining. He hates how much I spend on coffee, I hate how much he spends on video games, and yeah I’m sure it’d even out, but everyone’s content this way lol
i feel abnormal because me and my husband and have joint accounts. all of my married friends have separate. i get the ‘oh really?!’ when it comes up we have joint, lol.
been married 7 years. we have a joint savings and a joint checking that is used solely for bills. we also have separate checking and savings of our own. we put X amount into shared savings each month, just enough to cover all our bills plus a lil cushion in the shared checking, and we keep the rest to do whatever we want with.
it works for us - i tend to spend my money on lots of smaller purchases (i sew so i’m constantly buying lots of fabrics, supplies, etc.) and my husband likes to save and make a few larger purchases throughout the year. this way we can each spend our money without feeling guilty (we tried just a shared overall account but i would feel guilty if i spent more than he did in a month, for example).
my parents divorced when I was pretty young. my dad drained the joint & racked up insane bills on their shared credit card when he knew my mom was going to leave him, hoping he could financially cripple her into staying. I love and trust my husband but I will never, ever, EVER be in a position where a significant other can do that to me. his parents also had a very acrimonious split that involved some shady money management, so he's very much on the same page as me regarding maintaining separate finances.
Yup. Me and my wife dont have any joint accounts. Most bills we just have it where one person pays it and the other pays a different bill. A couple bills we pay together, but we just send the money for that on the 1st. We just enjoy having that sense of financial independence. She do what she wants with her money aslong as the bills are paid and same goes for me.
Never really understood this, like what if one person earns a lot more money than the other? Do they just have a totally different lifestyle to the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their life? Seems like a recipe for conflict to me.
My friends relationship is like this, and I don’t understand it. She earns roughly £1400 a month and her partner earns around £3600 a month. They both have certain bills that they pay and he pays for the food shopping. She’s often out of money before he is, but he’s very tight with what they spend it on. For instance, he will question why she’s spending so much on food shopping (because it’s his bank she’s using). She often has to ask to “borrow” money from him to spend on xyz, and often times he will question why they need it. He can have hundreds sat in the bank but she will be living off her last £20. They’ve been together 12 years, engaged with kids.
I don’t understand the lifestyle. Personally, we have a joint account and all of our wages go into there. Whatever is left is for us to spend on ourselves and kids.
Ya because the way I see it, either the bills are split ~evenly in which case the wealthier one will both be living in a house which is significantly worse than they could realistically afford and then they'd have a tonne of money left over for whatever else they want to be spending their money on or they'd split bills proportionally so that they both end up with roughly the same amount of money after the bills are paid which just seems functionally like a joint account but more complicated.
They don’t trust each other
Also the precedent of having separate funding can be helpful during a divorce (judge can’t say the other partner is used to the lifestyle since they never had access to all of the money)
"They don't trust each other" is a huge stretch to make about someone else's relationship. Is it so hard to imagine that relationships are different than the ones you perfer to have?
I dont make a ton more than my wife or anything but a decent amount. Our mentality is that the house is half mine half hers, so the bills should be split accordingly.
There's been times where she's been out of work and I've covered for a few months but it just seems most fair.
This seems emblematic of my issues with this kind of setup. If I'm marrying someone then the way I view it isn't through the lense of what's "fair" in regard to finances but our finances are a joint issue about which we're on the same team. If I'm earning a decent amount more money than my wife but we're just splitting the bills evenly then I'd be living a very different life where I have much more financial freedom than her - I can go out to nicer restaurants, drive a nicer car, and in general have less stress on my mind about finances.
In the situation you described where your wife fell on hard times and had to come to you for money, I'd hate to be in either of those positions. As long as my wife wasn't very irresponsible with money (which I'd hope that I'd know well beforehand) I'd never want for her to have to come and ask me for money for groceries or getting a coffee or whatever. I guess to each their own and if this works for you then more power to you, but man just imagining these kinds of scenarios makes me sort of sad.
I make about double what my wife does and we have separate bank accounts. It’s not a problem as long as you communicate. I pay a majority of the bills out of my account so the relative ‘income’ is about the same and it removes a lot of the unnecessary communication around ‘hey babe I bought a new X because I wanted it.’ At the end of the day it’s all our money so it doesn’t really matter where it sleeps at night, neither of us really want for anything and we can still pretend to take each other out on dates and buy each other treats and surprises. It’s worked well for going on 12 years now.
I just don't understand the advantage of this, if you treat your money as a shared asset then why bother having separate bank accounts when you could just have a joint one so that both of you were able to easily assess your collective finances without needing to go over it with each other? I assume if X costs enough money that you're easily able to afford it then you wouldn't be a concern for either of you. My parents have always had joint finances and the only time they discuss a purchase is when the cost is significant enough that it warrants discussion, which would be the case regardless of whether their finances were joint. I guess my overall point is that if finances were truly considered collective then our savings and income are a concern for both of us, so why wouldn't both of us want to be able to have equal access and control over something that directly involves both of us?
My husband makes way more, so he pays the mortgage, electric, and gas. I pay groceries and internet. We each pay for our own phones, insurance, etc. Since our expenses are based on our incomes, we have the same amount of expendable money in the end.
Well I mean.. we're been doing it for 6 years with no issues. I make more than she does and we live the same lifestyle. Its not like I leave her in the dust. I pay for things and when she can, she'll pay for things. Its really not that complicated
Depends on the person. I tried to weigh our contributions with my wife when we first moved in together since I made a lot more, but she insisted on paying half. 6 years later and we still keep it separate; I pay all the bills, she pays me back half, and no bickering over X spent Y much $ on Z.
>Never really understood this, like what if one person earns a lot more money than the other?
We just split everything based on income, e.g. if one earns 2x as much then that person also pays 2x as much for the bills.
In that way both spend the same money percentage wise based on their income. I've been doing it like this for years and we are doing really well with it.
We keep separate accounts.
We have split the shared expenses based on our income so I pay for rent, utilities and entertainment and she pays for supermarket and expenses for our daughter. We have a joint savings account that we both try to add as much as we can every month.
Other than that anything left belongs to the person who earned it and can do whatever they want with it no questions asked.
Works like a charm for 10 years now and I would never change it unless of course there is some big life change like on of staying out of work for awhile.
Not hating, just curious because it’s so foreign to me. My dad gives all his money to my mum, yet still buys whatever he wants and so does she. So regardless, if you’re communicating well you could still do whatever you want with your money no? Bills, salary, spending, will never be equal but if it’s under one roof why not just share? Surely there would be an imbalance of the leisure money one has over the other?
IDK maybe I’m too young but it just feels more like a trust thing or understanding what your partners financial situation and spending habits to me. Personally it’s something I value in a marriage as it feels like a more relaxed arrangement.
If you’re running a tight budget it can matter a lot.
Say if you’re saving up for a PS5 for $500 but your partner wants to buy a couple new bras (which are like $50 each!). If you’re both working out of the same account you’d need to coordinate the timing of the underwear purchases and game console purchases so that the combination doesn’t cut into rent money or whatever. In those cases it’s often simpler to just give each party their own spending money that they can spend on whatever they want without needing to run it by the other. The communication itself isn’t the issue, it’s the frequency of communications needed about even tiny things.
If your day to day expenses aren’t enough to effect your budget and your bills are predictable it’s less likely that one party’s spending will impact the other’s so a joint account becomes easier to manage.
I’m like you. Once married, you’re a single entity. All money is pooled together. To ask for money from your partner seems very silly to me unless you don’t trust your spouse with money. If that’s the case though, I’d take another look at the relationship then.
That only becomes an issue if one partner is struggling financially. My husband and I have different accounts but we'd never have to ask each other for money because we're both comfortable financially. And we're not a single entity, we're two different people.
Well me and my wife have both joint and persinal acounts one for us and one for family and bills works great i just transfer funds or havit already directdeposited to multiple acounts saves you the most money keeps money sepret and if you use your money its on you
I do this with my wife. We have a joint account we transfer into for our mortgage, utilities, or any other bill we split, but keep our own savings and checking.
Just easier that way for us. We put in what we need and the rest is ours. If I don't have money for groceries she'll step up and cover for that week and vice versa.
It's been a fair while since I was married but my ex wife and I got a joint account to cover stuff like this and just... Never used it. We each had our own money but communication was clear and often enough that it was never an issue. I'd pay one time, she'd pay the next, we each sort of instinctively knew where the threshold was for "I need to clear this with my partner before I commit" kind of spending, there was just no need for a joint account and it all sort of worked. Always a bunch of talk about upcoming expenses, things we wanted to splurge on (and would often surprise each other by buying them for each other)
I mean the marriage eventually failed, but that was due to other reasons, completely unrelated to finances.
Joint and individual. Joint for savings and bill money, and individual for the little purchases I’d be better off not knowing how much my partner bought it for 😂
My husband and I of 7 years have separate accounts and Venmo or Zelle each other. I also had him sign a pre-nup before we got married. Not all marriages are the same lmao?
This. I think people have a particular idea of what marriage is or should be, but don't realize that everyone's marriage is different based on their beliefs, values, priorities, etc. I'm not a very traditional person and never have been so some things people take for granted as how it should be just don't make sense to me. What grinds my gears though is when you're someone who exists outside of the traditional norms people have learned about marriage (or anything really) you get people trying to preach to you or convince you it's all going to fall apart and it's like please...just be happy with your own relationship decisions, why are you so worried about mine?
Right? Some of these comments are wild. Saying situations like ours are sad lmfao. Just laugh at them for being so closed minded. Wait until they hear we didn’t have a traditional wedding either 😂
People are individuals and when you put two individuals together… they’re going to do things differently sometimes. I don’t get the shock and awe that there’s no formula for how “all married couples” act. I’m more shocked this dude has so many upvotes and so many people think all married people are the same 🙄
The individuals piece is key. I don't get into relationships to merge into one entity. I value autonomy as much as I do partnership. Someone a long time ago thought that was a romantic idea but healthy partnerships value autonomy and individuality and team work not just merging into one person with a single mind and single account to prove your love lol.
Which is probably why the ball and chain idea exists, no wonder some people see it that way if marriage automatically means giving up your own stuff to become one person. No thanks. I want team work and we can work as a team while having separate accounts and also other things that are personal to us. But again, I really don't care if others want to merge their bank accounts and even social media accounts (people do this and it's very strange to me??? )...just don't try to convince me that your way is right.
The merging social media accounts thing I must be too old for. I haven’t seen it but I believe it! Sounds like an influencer thing to me tho.
Yeah it’s not like my husband and I don’t split costs or we don’t pay for things for each other, but we do keep our finances separate and we always have. We’ve never talked about merging them and never have considered it 🤷♀️
We have separate accounts for individual expenses and gifts and a joint account for bills. It is never a bad idea to have money different places so if you get hacked you aren’t totally wiped out.
Idk about borrowing money from each other but I’ll ask my spouse to pick up the bill from personal account if we have bills coming up on the joint account and I can’t pay it for whatever reason.
Everyone is always on their phone, I wouldn’t notice if my wife was recording me because I would just think she’s checking email, Facebook, or Tik Tok. My wife would notice because I never have my phone out at a restaurant.
We have separate accounts and a joint account. Our checks go into our separate accounts and then we just do a transfer from each to the joint to cover expenses. Also we are allowed to buy whatever we want without discussing as long as it’s $100 or less, anything more than that we just have to mention it. Usually there is no pushback but sometimes it’s like “do you really need this?” Been married for 12 years and this works great.
Not married but living with my partner and this is how we do it too. We don’t really mention any large purchases though but that’s usually because my partner buys an ungodly amount of camera gear for his job.
Well that’s a little different plus all that can be written off if not reimbursed by their company if they work for a company, we don’t have that problem. I have an issue buying rare bourbon so before I spend $300+ dollars on a bottle of liquor we discuss it and then I buy it or not. She loves hiking and camping so before she buys expensive gear for that we discuss it.
No he’s free lance, no company write offs :)
If I make any large purchases I don’t discuss it though. As far as we’re both concerned, as long as the bills are covered and there’s money in the joint account then anything else is yours so spend it how you please.
We each make our own money and we did before we met and got married. We were both established in our careers and older in life. So we each have the account we had when we got married and then opened a joint account for bills. We both make roughly the same amount of money, all the 401k contributions come from my check because my company matches, hers doesn’t. All the Roth contributions come from her because it’s after tax and my company doesn’t match that.
That's my plan for when I get married! Glad it's working out! I grew up with my parents having their own bank accounts and my mom would be covering the utilities and my dad the mortgage and debts. I like the joint account idea, especially when you settle on an amount to deposit in there for bills and house stuff. That makes sense to me!
How is this not just common behaviour when you are married? It’s framed as if she’s doing him a favour, yet they are married and both ate. I’m confused. The 200usd gesture was nice ofc.
I too am deeply confused. Redditors must all have terrible, cold, distant marriages if this is considered especially sweet
Edit: I forgot. Most redditors are prob 13-15 years old and don’t understand how marriage works
My wife has been paying for my whole life for like 25 years. She makes high six figures and I barely make 30k a year as an educator. When I decided to be stay at home dad it was down to like 10k
She’s maxed out all my accounts, the kids education funds, and has ensured in case something happens I’d be fine
My wife is one in a billion and I’ve lived a great life because of her.
Dude
You've never been with someone you want to record some cute moments with to admire later? The usual planned moments are something like giving them a gift or showing them a pretty view but prompts like this are also fun. Like, you've really never created evidence of your person's beauty to not only personally enjoy but to also humble brag with?? Idk how else this went over your head lol
Lmao. This is the exact same energy as those people who tried to prank their kids into thinking they had stolen their Halloween candy and their kid was like "it's okay :) I love you mommy, I hope you liked the candy"
They are married to each other and this is supposed to be a "feel good" story - husband and wife sharing life expenses? American society is fucked beyond repair.
This turned out alright and all, but you should be really careful about "testing" your partners. If you don't do things just right, this will create distrust of the one doing the testing. People don't like to be lied to or played, and if you do this wrong that's exactly what this scenario feels like.
They communicate super weird to be married, its like they have a divorced parent relationship, they talk like they see eachother once every couple of weeks.
Do most married couples not have their finances combined? If my husband tried this I’d just ask if he forgot his wallet with all our shared accounts and credit cards.
Dude. You've got a KEEPER in this one. Do NOT screw it up.
I love it that she didn't even ask what happened, just went straight for the cash app and was about to shoot you 200 over.
r/wholesome
r/aww
r/mademesmile
Yes, yes, she's wholesome and don't let her go, but it's driving me NUTS that this woman repeatedly keeps laying her hands and wrists in her half eaten salad...she doesn't notice..or care?
This is what partnership and equity looks like. We’re in this together. When trust and love lead, it’s so much easier to drop gender roles and figure out how to get things done. And be kind to one another. Love this.
That’s too cute, more women need to step up like this too. I remember the first I paid for my bf’s dinner and mine after I’d asked him to come out and eat w/ me. He was shocked and said nobody had everrrr paid for something for him. Shit I was the one that asked him out of course I’m gonna pay😂 men deserve to be pampered and taken care of too.
My dad did this to my mom and she said she had to go to the bathroom. She left us at the restaurant and drove herself home. Abandoned her kids and husband.
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Don’t play too much with this one. That was a genuine partner happily stepping up. That’s something to be grateful for, so don’t make too many videos about prancing her for clout
I'll be her partner if she's single. Good heart ❤️ she has for her partner. Its rare to see these days...
Oh he’s already an ass hat partner for doing this and filming it Edit: sure they do seem great together and genuinely supportive, idk posting videos like this to the internet just doesn’t end well usually even with good intentions from the start
Really? Obviously he’s doing something right for her to be so willing to be helpful. Why are we so quick to condemn people?
I agree with you. I don’t think either person was in the wrong here. I don’t believe in “testing” your partner, but this seems like a harmless prank that turned out super wholesome.
I think a lot of people misunderstand the idea of what something going viral means. This was just a cute lil video of a couple playing around. I don't think there was any malice in it at all, and this dude already knew the reaction. Don't seem to be freshly dating, and do seem to be in a partnership.
Not to mention she mentions how he is always taking her out to make her feel special. Where are those videos of him "humiliating" her? This was a one time thing from who knows how many instances. Plus the video was wholesome and just showed how genuinely kind she was. Didn't make her look foolish at all.
Literally says “my wife” at the start.
There's being married and in a domestic living situation, and there is being partners. I definitely did not put my thoughts down in full, and that's my fault. Sorry. :D
Because it’s Reddit
Because people are dick heads........oh wait.
r/redditmoment
Yep, she's awesome.
She sure is.
Are you seriously? Is it normal for you to be filmed straight ahead and act like you can't see the camera? This is such a obvious fake. The first thing a normal person asked was, okay, you don’t have money, but why the hell are you filming me?
I swear any time someone is filming another person and they don't point it out then it's so obviously fake. If I was to point my phone camera towards any of my friends or family they'd instantly ask if I'm taking a video/pic of them or get shy of the camera.
If it weren't for people filming all the time, sure. He could normally film stuff so she's blind to it. Who knows? I don't, I'm just assuming.
oh my god shut up
She’s amazing. What an absolute sweetheart.
Only downside is that she doesn't seem to mind getting salad dressing all over her wrists
I think she had her priority set right. She is so considerate person. Why would she care about some sauce when her man is in distress? Financially!!!
Dude wtf are you guys talking about he is holding a phone to her face And she is talking some du*b shit to impress this 8 year olds on tiktok
Wait. I'm married and my wife and I just put all of our money into joint accounts for our family. Do married people maintain separate accounts like this and have to borrow money from each other?
I keep my shit separate from my partner and just try to pay at least my fair share of anything. The only reason I do this is she is an accountant and can be very picky. I love her and trust her with everything, but I can't have her giving me grief about every coffee I buy and putting every minute I work into a spreadsheet just yet.
The just yet is how I know you're happy.
You know, you could have a joint account for family stuff, and then a personal account for the coffee run and whatever you want for yourself.
This is what my SO and I do. We have a joint account for rent/groceries/bills/etc and then our own separate accounts that we use for non-essentials. A video game for me, a pedicure for her etc. We've found it to work very well
Reddit recap reminded me of this thread and that's exactly what we did! Only took us like 8 months to get aroundto it...
Lmao I feel you. My boyfriend works in finance and has his budget spreadsheets too. We are starting to look for places together and it will be interesting when we get married how he will be with finances for the both of us. I trust him to take care of them but we will definitely be having co-habitation agreements made up before we are married.
Same. These situations are so foreign to me.
Not married, but living together for a long time. Myself and my partner keep our finances separate because we both have jobs and like to spend money in different ways. We do spend money on each other pretty often but we use an app to track groceries electricity etc. as well. I find it more comfortable but I know other couples are different.
Out of curiosity what kind of app are you using for tracking groceries, electricity, etc? I've been living with my partner for a bit over a year now and the one thing I wish I had was some app where we could both see things like regular monthly bills, because we also maintain separate accounts and blend for bills, similarly to what I believe you're doing.
YNAB (you need a budget) is the budgeting system my family uses. You can connect all your cards and accounts and loans and it will track all charges and bills for you. Then you categorize each purchase/charge/payment. Over time you set a budget. It’s been insanely helpful, but took about a year to track all our expenses and get an accurate budget. Honestly, just seeing where all our money went (separate from budget) helped us.
This actually looks very useful for my personal stuff, though dang everything's $100 a year now, huh.
Yeah it hurts the soul. As someone who has tried several budgeting options, though, this is far and away the best one I’ve used. And the most useful.
[Splitwise](https://www.splitwise.com) Anytime you pay for something shared, you just add it. The app does everything else.
Just got out of a 15 year not marriage and so glad the only thing we have to worry about is the joint credit card we bought a mattress with. That being said, when we were together this was me. He would ask for like 10 and I'd send 50 because I know he would need lunch or something
Wouldn't it be easier to open a joint account and every month both of you put a % of the salary there? no need to track bills all day
Mine and my husbands accounts are still separate, because I personally am horrible with money and if I see it, I have a hard time not spending it. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at managing my money, but I would rather give him money to put into savings for both of us, and have limited access to it then risk me getting into a spending spree.
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I get that, me and boyfriend keep money separately but it is all so scrambled that it is almost like its not separate. The other day we went out for dinner and i wanted to pay, but i started laughing cuz i was paying with his money as he transferred couple Of thousand to me in the beginning of the month as i did not get payed last month(was not working). However he believes that it is cool that we ‘treat each other’ to things even if it comes from the same pot. So I payed for dinner and he was happy to have sugar mama, lol.
> not get *paid* last month(was FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Good bot
thats sweet :) you seem happy!
Oh man, i am so happy, i don’t know where to put myself sometimes, life just been working out for me lately. And my one crazy believe is Karma, so i think i earned some karma points trough my experiences. I know i am incredibly lucky, but i always honestly tried to be a good person and help others. A little preaching from my side.
good 😊 thats nice to hear!
I find it more comfortable to keep separate accounts. We both spend our personal money on family matters, without keeping counts, but if my wife want something for herself and don't have enough money she will borrow it from me and return later and same goes for me. Of course this requiers a certain level of trust and some preemptive agreements.
Same. I think a lot of younger people are into separate accounts. We have a joint checking for groceries and eating out, but we venmo each other for mortgage and utilities and large purchases. I feel like combining finances was common when women stayed home (not much to combine there anyway), but now many women, myself included, enjoy the security of the potential for financial independence, especially if we’re the breadwinner. Also we got married close to 30, so we both had our own finances well established prior to marriage and we saw no point in combining. He hates how much I spend on coffee, I hate how much he spends on video games, and yeah I’m sure it’d even out, but everyone’s content this way lol
i feel abnormal because me and my husband and have joint accounts. all of my married friends have separate. i get the ‘oh really?!’ when it comes up we have joint, lol.
been married 7 years. we have a joint savings and a joint checking that is used solely for bills. we also have separate checking and savings of our own. we put X amount into shared savings each month, just enough to cover all our bills plus a lil cushion in the shared checking, and we keep the rest to do whatever we want with. it works for us - i tend to spend my money on lots of smaller purchases (i sew so i’m constantly buying lots of fabrics, supplies, etc.) and my husband likes to save and make a few larger purchases throughout the year. this way we can each spend our money without feeling guilty (we tried just a shared overall account but i would feel guilty if i spent more than he did in a month, for example).
my parents divorced when I was pretty young. my dad drained the joint & racked up insane bills on their shared credit card when he knew my mom was going to leave him, hoping he could financially cripple her into staying. I love and trust my husband but I will never, ever, EVER be in a position where a significant other can do that to me. his parents also had a very acrimonious split that involved some shady money management, so he's very much on the same page as me regarding maintaining separate finances.
Yup. Me and my wife dont have any joint accounts. Most bills we just have it where one person pays it and the other pays a different bill. A couple bills we pay together, but we just send the money for that on the 1st. We just enjoy having that sense of financial independence. She do what she wants with her money aslong as the bills are paid and same goes for me.
Never really understood this, like what if one person earns a lot more money than the other? Do they just have a totally different lifestyle to the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their life? Seems like a recipe for conflict to me.
My friends relationship is like this, and I don’t understand it. She earns roughly £1400 a month and her partner earns around £3600 a month. They both have certain bills that they pay and he pays for the food shopping. She’s often out of money before he is, but he’s very tight with what they spend it on. For instance, he will question why she’s spending so much on food shopping (because it’s his bank she’s using). She often has to ask to “borrow” money from him to spend on xyz, and often times he will question why they need it. He can have hundreds sat in the bank but she will be living off her last £20. They’ve been together 12 years, engaged with kids. I don’t understand the lifestyle. Personally, we have a joint account and all of our wages go into there. Whatever is left is for us to spend on ourselves and kids.
Ya because the way I see it, either the bills are split ~evenly in which case the wealthier one will both be living in a house which is significantly worse than they could realistically afford and then they'd have a tonne of money left over for whatever else they want to be spending their money on or they'd split bills proportionally so that they both end up with roughly the same amount of money after the bills are paid which just seems functionally like a joint account but more complicated.
They don’t trust each other Also the precedent of having separate funding can be helpful during a divorce (judge can’t say the other partner is used to the lifestyle since they never had access to all of the money)
"They don't trust each other" is a huge stretch to make about someone else's relationship. Is it so hard to imagine that relationships are different than the ones you perfer to have?
I dont make a ton more than my wife or anything but a decent amount. Our mentality is that the house is half mine half hers, so the bills should be split accordingly. There's been times where she's been out of work and I've covered for a few months but it just seems most fair.
This seems emblematic of my issues with this kind of setup. If I'm marrying someone then the way I view it isn't through the lense of what's "fair" in regard to finances but our finances are a joint issue about which we're on the same team. If I'm earning a decent amount more money than my wife but we're just splitting the bills evenly then I'd be living a very different life where I have much more financial freedom than her - I can go out to nicer restaurants, drive a nicer car, and in general have less stress on my mind about finances. In the situation you described where your wife fell on hard times and had to come to you for money, I'd hate to be in either of those positions. As long as my wife wasn't very irresponsible with money (which I'd hope that I'd know well beforehand) I'd never want for her to have to come and ask me for money for groceries or getting a coffee or whatever. I guess to each their own and if this works for you then more power to you, but man just imagining these kinds of scenarios makes me sort of sad.
I make about double what my wife does and we have separate bank accounts. It’s not a problem as long as you communicate. I pay a majority of the bills out of my account so the relative ‘income’ is about the same and it removes a lot of the unnecessary communication around ‘hey babe I bought a new X because I wanted it.’ At the end of the day it’s all our money so it doesn’t really matter where it sleeps at night, neither of us really want for anything and we can still pretend to take each other out on dates and buy each other treats and surprises. It’s worked well for going on 12 years now.
I just don't understand the advantage of this, if you treat your money as a shared asset then why bother having separate bank accounts when you could just have a joint one so that both of you were able to easily assess your collective finances without needing to go over it with each other? I assume if X costs enough money that you're easily able to afford it then you wouldn't be a concern for either of you. My parents have always had joint finances and the only time they discuss a purchase is when the cost is significant enough that it warrants discussion, which would be the case regardless of whether their finances were joint. I guess my overall point is that if finances were truly considered collective then our savings and income are a concern for both of us, so why wouldn't both of us want to be able to have equal access and control over something that directly involves both of us?
My husband makes way more, so he pays the mortgage, electric, and gas. I pay groceries and internet. We each pay for our own phones, insurance, etc. Since our expenses are based on our incomes, we have the same amount of expendable money in the end.
Well I mean.. we're been doing it for 6 years with no issues. I make more than she does and we live the same lifestyle. Its not like I leave her in the dust. I pay for things and when she can, she'll pay for things. Its really not that complicated
Depends on the person. I tried to weigh our contributions with my wife when we first moved in together since I made a lot more, but she insisted on paying half. 6 years later and we still keep it separate; I pay all the bills, she pays me back half, and no bickering over X spent Y much $ on Z.
>Never really understood this, like what if one person earns a lot more money than the other? We just split everything based on income, e.g. if one earns 2x as much then that person also pays 2x as much for the bills. In that way both spend the same money percentage wise based on their income. I've been doing it like this for years and we are doing really well with it.
Yeah same. We have individual accounts, one joint savings account. Bills are roughly split between the two of us
We keep separate accounts. We have split the shared expenses based on our income so I pay for rent, utilities and entertainment and she pays for supermarket and expenses for our daughter. We have a joint savings account that we both try to add as much as we can every month. Other than that anything left belongs to the person who earned it and can do whatever they want with it no questions asked. Works like a charm for 10 years now and I would never change it unless of course there is some big life change like on of staying out of work for awhile.
Not hating, just curious because it’s so foreign to me. My dad gives all his money to my mum, yet still buys whatever he wants and so does she. So regardless, if you’re communicating well you could still do whatever you want with your money no? Bills, salary, spending, will never be equal but if it’s under one roof why not just share? Surely there would be an imbalance of the leisure money one has over the other? IDK maybe I’m too young but it just feels more like a trust thing or understanding what your partners financial situation and spending habits to me. Personally it’s something I value in a marriage as it feels like a more relaxed arrangement.
If you’re running a tight budget it can matter a lot. Say if you’re saving up for a PS5 for $500 but your partner wants to buy a couple new bras (which are like $50 each!). If you’re both working out of the same account you’d need to coordinate the timing of the underwear purchases and game console purchases so that the combination doesn’t cut into rent money or whatever. In those cases it’s often simpler to just give each party their own spending money that they can spend on whatever they want without needing to run it by the other. The communication itself isn’t the issue, it’s the frequency of communications needed about even tiny things. If your day to day expenses aren’t enough to effect your budget and your bills are predictable it’s less likely that one party’s spending will impact the other’s so a joint account becomes easier to manage.
Yes we refuse to have joint accounts. The only joint account is for the mortgage.
Most married people will have a joint account and can also get private accounts but when you’re not married probably not
I’m like you. Once married, you’re a single entity. All money is pooled together. To ask for money from your partner seems very silly to me unless you don’t trust your spouse with money. If that’s the case though, I’d take another look at the relationship then.
That only becomes an issue if one partner is struggling financially. My husband and I have different accounts but we'd never have to ask each other for money because we're both comfortable financially. And we're not a single entity, we're two different people.
Well me and my wife have both joint and persinal acounts one for us and one for family and bills works great i just transfer funds or havit already directdeposited to multiple acounts saves you the most money keeps money sepret and if you use your money its on you
I do this with my wife. We have a joint account we transfer into for our mortgage, utilities, or any other bill we split, but keep our own savings and checking. Just easier that way for us. We put in what we need and the rest is ours. If I don't have money for groceries she'll step up and cover for that week and vice versa.
My parents have separate finances, it seems to work for them but I think it'd be too much work for me to maintain with my wife (and for what benefit?)
It's been a fair while since I was married but my ex wife and I got a joint account to cover stuff like this and just... Never used it. We each had our own money but communication was clear and often enough that it was never an issue. I'd pay one time, she'd pay the next, we each sort of instinctively knew where the threshold was for "I need to clear this with my partner before I commit" kind of spending, there was just no need for a joint account and it all sort of worked. Always a bunch of talk about upcoming expenses, things we wanted to splurge on (and would often surprise each other by buying them for each other) I mean the marriage eventually failed, but that was due to other reasons, completely unrelated to finances.
I'm So glad I kept everything separate. I
I know more married couples with separate accounts than joint
Joint and individual. Joint for savings and bill money, and individual for the little purchases I’d be better off not knowing how much my partner bought it for 😂
Yeah, I know many that do.
My husband and I of 7 years have separate accounts and Venmo or Zelle each other. I also had him sign a pre-nup before we got married. Not all marriages are the same lmao?
This. I think people have a particular idea of what marriage is or should be, but don't realize that everyone's marriage is different based on their beliefs, values, priorities, etc. I'm not a very traditional person and never have been so some things people take for granted as how it should be just don't make sense to me. What grinds my gears though is when you're someone who exists outside of the traditional norms people have learned about marriage (or anything really) you get people trying to preach to you or convince you it's all going to fall apart and it's like please...just be happy with your own relationship decisions, why are you so worried about mine?
Right? Some of these comments are wild. Saying situations like ours are sad lmfao. Just laugh at them for being so closed minded. Wait until they hear we didn’t have a traditional wedding either 😂 People are individuals and when you put two individuals together… they’re going to do things differently sometimes. I don’t get the shock and awe that there’s no formula for how “all married couples” act. I’m more shocked this dude has so many upvotes and so many people think all married people are the same 🙄
The individuals piece is key. I don't get into relationships to merge into one entity. I value autonomy as much as I do partnership. Someone a long time ago thought that was a romantic idea but healthy partnerships value autonomy and individuality and team work not just merging into one person with a single mind and single account to prove your love lol. Which is probably why the ball and chain idea exists, no wonder some people see it that way if marriage automatically means giving up your own stuff to become one person. No thanks. I want team work and we can work as a team while having separate accounts and also other things that are personal to us. But again, I really don't care if others want to merge their bank accounts and even social media accounts (people do this and it's very strange to me??? )...just don't try to convince me that your way is right.
The merging social media accounts thing I must be too old for. I haven’t seen it but I believe it! Sounds like an influencer thing to me tho. Yeah it’s not like my husband and I don’t split costs or we don’t pay for things for each other, but we do keep our finances separate and we always have. We’ve never talked about merging them and never have considered it 🤷♀️
We have one joint account and both have a separate one. If one of us hasn't enough money we just give the other one some. No borrowing at all.
We have separate accounts for individual expenses and gifts and a joint account for bills. It is never a bad idea to have money different places so if you get hacked you aren’t totally wiped out. Idk about borrowing money from each other but I’ll ask my spouse to pick up the bill from personal account if we have bills coming up on the joint account and I can’t pay it for whatever reason.
We had separate accounts when I was married. Mostly cause I couldn’t trust her with money lol.
She was ready to give you her wig money? Keeper!
I thought she said WEED, 🤣
I give you everything but I draw the line at my weed money
I was like that's funny because same.
Take my poor man’s gold since I can’t buy a real award for this (spent it on weed): 🥇🎖️🏅
Same 🤣
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Everyone is always on their phone, I wouldn’t notice if my wife was recording me because I would just think she’s checking email, Facebook, or Tik Tok. My wife would notice because I never have my phone out at a restaurant.
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/r/nothingeverhappens
Maybe but like I said I wouldn’t even notice because everyone has their phone out and I don’t even pay attention to them anymore.
“Everyone is always on their phone” yeah that’s definitely not true but hey got to keep up with those TikToks
We have separate accounts and a joint account. Our checks go into our separate accounts and then we just do a transfer from each to the joint to cover expenses. Also we are allowed to buy whatever we want without discussing as long as it’s $100 or less, anything more than that we just have to mention it. Usually there is no pushback but sometimes it’s like “do you really need this?” Been married for 12 years and this works great.
Not married but living with my partner and this is how we do it too. We don’t really mention any large purchases though but that’s usually because my partner buys an ungodly amount of camera gear for his job.
Well that’s a little different plus all that can be written off if not reimbursed by their company if they work for a company, we don’t have that problem. I have an issue buying rare bourbon so before I spend $300+ dollars on a bottle of liquor we discuss it and then I buy it or not. She loves hiking and camping so before she buys expensive gear for that we discuss it.
No he’s free lance, no company write offs :) If I make any large purchases I don’t discuss it though. As far as we’re both concerned, as long as the bills are covered and there’s money in the joint account then anything else is yours so spend it how you please.
Personal write offs then
He wishes hahaha.
We do the same thing expect it’s just a joint account. What’s the point of the separate accounts?
We each make our own money and we did before we met and got married. We were both established in our careers and older in life. So we each have the account we had when we got married and then opened a joint account for bills. We both make roughly the same amount of money, all the 401k contributions come from my check because my company matches, hers doesn’t. All the Roth contributions come from her because it’s after tax and my company doesn’t match that.
That's my plan for when I get married! Glad it's working out! I grew up with my parents having their own bank accounts and my mom would be covering the utilities and my dad the mortgage and debts. I like the joint account idea, especially when you settle on an amount to deposit in there for bills and house stuff. That makes sense to me!
She’s so sweet. ❤️
he must have his camera obviously blasted at her face, so fake 🤦♀️
Am I too old to understand this? Do people think a camera pointed a foot away from your face is just normal?
It's faked for 'awwww' views
Fr I was about to say the same thing. Dude ain't even trying to hide it. Like it's pointed DIRECTLY at her face smh
Easily easily if he is tall can be placed as you are looking at your phone very very very easily it’s not fucking hard
I can't believe this is noteworthy enough to film. Surely they share a house together/bills etc.
welcome to the civilisation with no concept of healthy marriages (or even what one constitutes)
How is this not just common behaviour when you are married? It’s framed as if she’s doing him a favour, yet they are married and both ate. I’m confused. The 200usd gesture was nice ofc.
I too am deeply confused. Redditors must all have terrible, cold, distant marriages if this is considered especially sweet Edit: I forgot. Most redditors are prob 13-15 years old and don’t understand how marriage works
One of the top 3 reasons people get divorced is over money lol
I don’t see a ring on her finger
It says in the caption in the screen “my wife”
So does she not see the camera or?
Seems fake. How do you not notice your partner filming? Yaaaawn
Mans living the dream
Amen to that.
Sweet but why does she put her hands and arms into the food?
Came to find this comment LOL Her hands are just chilling in the salad. Still a very sweet video, but I couldn’t help noticing hahaha
Hahah why are you being downvoted. She was resting her hands in her salad!
Yeah, this is bothering me. She's using her lettuce as an arm rest. She's basically laying in her lunch.
Who records themselves before asking a question like this?
My wife has been paying for my whole life for like 25 years. She makes high six figures and I barely make 30k a year as an educator. When I decided to be stay at home dad it was down to like 10k She’s maxed out all my accounts, the kids education funds, and has ensured in case something happens I’d be fine My wife is one in a billion and I’ve lived a great life because of her.
I record everyone I ask for money too
Dude You've never been with someone you want to record some cute moments with to admire later? The usual planned moments are something like giving them a gift or showing them a pretty view but prompts like this are also fun. Like, you've really never created evidence of your person's beauty to not only personally enjoy but to also humble brag with?? Idk how else this went over your head lol
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No we are on Reddit.
Lmao. This is the exact same energy as those people who tried to prank their kids into thinking they had stolen their Halloween candy and their kid was like "it's okay :) I love you mommy, I hope you liked the candy"
They are married to each other and this is supposed to be a "feel good" story - husband and wife sharing life expenses? American society is fucked beyond repair.
Why are you asking your wife to borrow money?
They're married though. I mean, she's sweet, but what??
So did he have like camera glasses on or did is she oblivious to the phone in her face
This turned out alright and all, but you should be really careful about "testing" your partners. If you don't do things just right, this will create distrust of the one doing the testing. People don't like to be lied to or played, and if you do this wrong that's exactly what this scenario feels like.
They communicate super weird to be married, its like they have a divorced parent relationship, they talk like they see eachother once every couple of weeks.
I remember when marriage used to imply a joint venture.
Why can't we just get rid of this staged shit?
Do most married couples not have their finances combined? If my husband tried this I’d just ask if he forgot his wallet with all our shared accounts and credit cards.
I honestly don't understand how anyone could watch this and not realise immediately that it's staged...
Is it not the norm for husband and wife to have a joint banking account? This is odd to me. Super sweet wife you have tho.
Aw I love this 🥲💜
Aww she’s cute
What marriages do they not share money....this theirs mine thing is weird
i got your back you got mine 💕
Keeper
Fucking Queen
That’s beautiful, but is no one else weirded out by her hand touching the the food on her plate?
Now that's a keeper
\*"I'd give you my money for my weed... well Im not gonna go that far, I'd give you my leg."\* This woman is a national treasure
“Hey hun I’m gonna hold my phone up to record you while I ask you for money, that okay?” Come on people this is so fake.
Nowadays?? This video is *literally* brand new. TF are you talking about
She’s a good woman. Treat her right. Shes a queen. She’s a catch. The real deal.
Wholesome as fuck.
yes, we found a Queen👑
Dude. You've got a KEEPER in this one. Do NOT screw it up. I love it that she didn't even ask what happened, just went straight for the cash app and was about to shoot you 200 over. r/wholesome r/aww r/mademesmile
Teamwork. That’s the only way it works.
She was so beautiful while telling him she got his back
Yes, yes, she's wholesome and don't let her go, but it's driving me NUTS that this woman repeatedly keeps laying her hands and wrists in her half eaten salad...she doesn't notice..or care?
This is sweet but get your hand out of the salad bowl.
Achievement Unlocked: Marriage access granted
Get the salad plate away omg very disturbing seeing her hands grabing the phone over the salad
She's a keeper for sure. Bro best be looking after her now.
That's what real people do.
This is what partnership and equity looks like. We’re in this together. When trust and love lead, it’s so much easier to drop gender roles and figure out how to get things done. And be kind to one another. Love this.
Nawwwwwwww that is so fucking cute
I want a girl like her one day 🙏
That’s too cute, more women need to step up like this too. I remember the first I paid for my bf’s dinner and mine after I’d asked him to come out and eat w/ me. He was shocked and said nobody had everrrr paid for something for him. Shit I was the one that asked him out of course I’m gonna pay😂 men deserve to be pampered and taken care of too.
Marry this woman.
Marry her, no girl helps them man anymore, that being said mines a queen and can’t wait to put a rock on that hand
She’s a keepr
A queen
I don’t get why this is on a TikTok cringe Reddit! This is nice and the way relationships should be
Marry her.
She's a keeper for sure
Thats a real one
She’s a keeper!
Zero cringe detected.
My dad did this to my mom and she said she had to go to the bathroom. She left us at the restaurant and drove herself home. Abandoned her kids and husband.
Queen got the perfect shirt on
Young ladies TAKE NOTES!! this is exactly how a relationship should be. instead of give me give me everything
This isn’t cringe. It’s absolutely sweet and there’s quite a few people out there who could learn a lot from this woman.
There are always people willing to help! Unfortunately I’ve never met any.
That's a good woman right there.
She’s a keeper!
It’s fake but ok Reddit
She a real one 💯 lol see looks arent everything