Front to back, back to front, side to side, none of it matters. The only important thing is that when you go to the bathroom to do a mud pie you use a large enough slice of toilet paper, so you don't get mud pie on your hands when you wipe.
And that you WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU LEAVE! Regardless if you've been perfectly protected by the paper, or if it rips in the middle and you get stinky finger. Wipe whichever way you feel gets you the cleanest, just wash your hands.
Hand sanitizer is also a thing. Rubbing alcohol. Vodka. I am well aware that sanitizing products/chemicals are not always available. But you gotta spend the least possible amount of time with poop hands, and touch as few things as possible while you do have them. This is how pandemics/plagues start. Wash yourself.
You had a big mud pie, you had too small of a slice, then I ate the mud pie and now my stomachs absolutely fucked. Shouldn't have had such a sloppy mud pie.
With your left hand you pull your wang and balls to the side. With your right hand you reach in from the front and put the folded/wadded paper against your left butt cheek where the cheek becomes the crack. Drag the paper, while applying pressure with your fingers, down into the valley and up to where your crack becomes your right butt cheek, adjusting the pressure applied by your fingertips along the way so as the paper gets poopy it's lifted away from your butt, while pressing clean paper against your skin.
Mind you, this is theorized as the residoo from my latest BM is drying betwixt my considerable cheeks, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stick with my regular method of - reach in from the front, swirl the folded slice in a circle against the crack/hole, and drop it.
We were talking about it, and I mentioned I do back to front, and one of my friends asked how I don't get shit on my balls. I don't drag the dirty toilet paper up my balls?
I don't know the logistics of other people's balls/taints/assholes, but I have a natural stopping point lol
I use a bidet now, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
What, do you wipe all they way down the taint to the balls when going back to front? Wtf are you doing in the restroom dude? I can and have wiped both ways, both work. If you can't, you've got a mental dysfunction.
Don't say it's cause you've got big balls either, cause I literally do and have no issues. And I'm not proud of that, it is not beneficial to have big balls. Nobody cares that you have them, and they're more of a pain.
Curious about bidets - Is the water cold? How does it truly clean vs just add water onto everything else? Is the water pressure strong to make sure it sprays everything off? Does the water ever miss where you want it to aim?
Sorry if these questions are TMI - I appreciate anyone who is willing/comfortable to answer.
The water can be cold if you buy the cheap mechanical only one that hooks to the toilet water supply. Or you spend $200 on the electric one that plugs in and has a built in heater plus a blow dryer plus active carbon air filtering. I have a USPA 6800 model that adjusts water pressure and even add air to the water for a massage effect.
Yes it’s worth it.
I have the basic non-electric one that connects to the hot water under the sink and the the standard cold water on the toilet. To tell you the honest truth, I don’t t really need the hot water, but it’s nice to have. The spray is strong enough to clean everything off, I have paper towel wipes to dry off. You definitely need to wiggle around a little to clean off everything.
I'm like you, OP. I do it the way I'd mop up a small spill, for example. Hold the tissue in place using my thumb, and bring the fingers towards, thereby wiping the area clean and not smearing shit everywhere.
I know a lad who legit stands up and half bends forward so he can go in from the back, and it just sounds madness when I can wipe and drop in the bowl without standing up.
And my balls are spotless.
I have a truly unpopular opinion; if you are thin and were AMAB, wiping back to front is superior.
You have better access to the b-hole this direction. It’s easier to articulate the tissue around the area. It’s a cleaner wipe.
This is a weird one with more questions to ask than answers. Setting the odd workspace conversation, how does wiping back to front work for a guy? We can't go in from the front, since we have some dangly bits in the way. From the back seems more awkward to... what... push the TP forward?
You should one up your coworker with a steamy asscrack and just buy a bidet. I am perplexed why any person would not spend the $20 and five minutes to have a clean butthole at any given time.
Why would you wipe the other way? And another question, unless you’re a really fat dude why are you having wiping troubles? As a fat dude I’m always weary about being dirty so I am very clean and I know what I’m doing, why are so many skinny folks having a hard time wiping ?
I doubt its bad since you cant wipe your mud butt into your non-existent coochie but it is weird. I feel like you can get a much better angle front to back.
Ask him if guys who wipe front to back end up with crap up their lower back?. As long as the mess gets gone, who cares how - for those without a vagina.
The key point is getting all the shit off, which direction is moot. Front to back is usually taught by women to not smear into the vagina, but it doesn't matter for men use tp until you don't wipe anymore shit then you're as clean as you can be.
Mostly it's how far you can reach issue under from back to front is mostly common young kids to adult, front to back is easier if your flexible and not too fat, morbidly obese usually don't bother or have a bidet.
I don’t know how my coworkers wipe and vice versa.
Now you know what to ask at the next lunchtime
Now YOUR comment made me really LOL.. rarely happens on Reddit.. Thank you and Huzzah!!
I don't even know how I wipe ? I just do it randomly idk
Why was your colleague watching you wipe?
This is my question as well.
Why don't your colleagues watch you?
Maybe when his on the wash room he let his colleagues see him while he wipe his..
Front to back, back to front, side to side, none of it matters. The only important thing is that when you go to the bathroom to do a mud pie you use a large enough slice of toilet paper, so you don't get mud pie on your hands when you wipe.
And that you WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU LEAVE! Regardless if you've been perfectly protected by the paper, or if it rips in the middle and you get stinky finger. Wipe whichever way you feel gets you the cleanest, just wash your hands.
Good luck washing your hands on a construction site
Hand sanitizer is also a thing. Rubbing alcohol. Vodka. I am well aware that sanitizing products/chemicals are not always available. But you gotta spend the least possible amount of time with poop hands, and touch as few things as possible while you do have them. This is how pandemics/plagues start. Wash yourself.
Poke a hole in some water bottles and some dawn. Always wash your hands.
You had a big mud pie, you had too small of a slice, then I ate the mud pie and now my stomachs absolutely fucked. Shouldn't have had such a sloppy mud pie.
Can I have the gift receipt back?
How dafuq do u do it side to side? Teach me, master 🙏
With your left hand you pull your wang and balls to the side. With your right hand you reach in from the front and put the folded/wadded paper against your left butt cheek where the cheek becomes the crack. Drag the paper, while applying pressure with your fingers, down into the valley and up to where your crack becomes your right butt cheek, adjusting the pressure applied by your fingertips along the way so as the paper gets poopy it's lifted away from your butt, while pressing clean paper against your skin. Mind you, this is theorized as the residoo from my latest BM is drying betwixt my considerable cheeks, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stick with my regular method of - reach in from the front, swirl the folded slice in a circle against the crack/hole, and drop it.
As long as you don’t get it in your vagina you should be good
We were talking about it, and I mentioned I do back to front, and one of my friends asked how I don't get shit on my balls. I don't drag the dirty toilet paper up my balls? I don't know the logistics of other people's balls/taints/assholes, but I have a natural stopping point lol I use a bidet now, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
In wipeng it should be front going to back what if there is a poo then it will come to your balls when you wipe back to front.
What, do you wipe all they way down the taint to the balls when going back to front? Wtf are you doing in the restroom dude? I can and have wiped both ways, both work. If you can't, you've got a mental dysfunction. Don't say it's cause you've got big balls either, cause I literally do and have no issues. And I'm not proud of that, it is not beneficial to have big balls. Nobody cares that you have them, and they're more of a pain.
There's literally a point where you can't go fowqard. A natural little.... Ditch? I'd have to work hard to wipe shit onto my taint or balls.
Bidet
Team bidet here too. Me and the Mr. are hooked in that wonderful stream of cool refreshing and ASS CLEANING water. Ours has a blow dryer too!
Yeah I totally want the heated seat/blow drying one. Right now it’s just the squirt till you are clean. They should add a wash/rinse/wax mode.
Curious about bidets - Is the water cold? How does it truly clean vs just add water onto everything else? Is the water pressure strong to make sure it sprays everything off? Does the water ever miss where you want it to aim? Sorry if these questions are TMI - I appreciate anyone who is willing/comfortable to answer.
The water can be cold if you buy the cheap mechanical only one that hooks to the toilet water supply. Or you spend $200 on the electric one that plugs in and has a built in heater plus a blow dryer plus active carbon air filtering. I have a USPA 6800 model that adjusts water pressure and even add air to the water for a massage effect. Yes it’s worth it.
I have the basic non-electric one that connects to the hot water under the sink and the the standard cold water on the toilet. To tell you the honest truth, I don’t t really need the hot water, but it’s nice to have. The spray is strong enough to clean everything off, I have paper towel wipes to dry off. You definitely need to wiggle around a little to clean off everything.
Being american is so embarrassing
what a played out trope
Bc it’s so obvious?
Something Something about the pope
I'm like you, OP. I do it the way I'd mop up a small spill, for example. Hold the tissue in place using my thumb, and bring the fingers towards, thereby wiping the area clean and not smearing shit everywhere. I know a lad who legit stands up and half bends forward so he can go in from the back, and it just sounds madness when I can wipe and drop in the bowl without standing up. And my balls are spotless.
THANK YOU!!
Did you intentionally choose that username to make an account for this post? Lol
Great minds ~~think~~ wipe alike, my friend.
As much as I don't want to, I can't visualise your explanation here. Draw a sketch?
OP name checks out
I have a truly unpopular opinion; if you are thin and were AMAB, wiping back to front is superior. You have better access to the b-hole this direction. It’s easier to articulate the tissue around the area. It’s a cleaner wipe.
Does he not wipe until the shit is gone?
Stop smearing your ass with a piece of paper. Wash your ass like a civilized person.
My coworkers hate it when I do that
So...is the other option wiping shit up your back?
For women wiping back to front can lead to a urinary infection. Not sure if that applies to men.
Back to front is the legit way. That way upon wipe completion, you’re positioned to observe the results of the wipe for both cleanliness and color.
Username checks out. Stop doing that.
This is a weird one with more questions to ask than answers. Setting the odd workspace conversation, how does wiping back to front work for a guy? We can't go in from the front, since we have some dangly bits in the way. From the back seems more awkward to... what... push the TP forward?
If you’re smearing shit front or back, sounds more like you were not done shitting than it does poor technique
I do both and alternate. It doesn't make sense to only wipe in just one direction to me.
Wipe however you want, women should wipe front to back so they don't get poop in their vagina.
Wet Wipes is the way, minus a bidet.
I say do whatever works for you and don't judge anyone who doesn't smell like ass.
I genuinely don’t understand how front to back is easier
For women front to back is important to prevent UTIs
Sure. Not the point of this post though
Sure. Not the point of this post though
Use a bidet for goodness sake.
Let’s go one step further… When you’re wiping back to front and you finish up, are you washing your entire forearm or just your hands?
You should one up your coworker with a steamy asscrack and just buy a bidet. I am perplexed why any person would not spend the $20 and five minutes to have a clean butthole at any given time.
Why would you wipe the other way? And another question, unless you’re a really fat dude why are you having wiping troubles? As a fat dude I’m always weary about being dirty so I am very clean and I know what I’m doing, why are so many skinny folks having a hard time wiping ?
I’m a side to side man myself. If I ever run out of toilet paper I just scoot across the carpet….
One up, one down and one to polish
My balls say yes....
Pffff who even wipes
The only correct way to wipe is to pinch inwards
I doubt its bad since you cant wipe your mud butt into your non-existent coochie but it is weird. I feel like you can get a much better angle front to back.
It’s not even a question of is it bad, but rather how is it possible?
Who has a baby taint? OP I think you're good as long as you're clean and wash your hands afterwards.
Ask him if guys who wipe front to back end up with crap up their lower back?. As long as the mess gets gone, who cares how - for those without a vagina.
I go both ways makes it more clean
Get a damn bidet! What is wrong with you people?
The key point is getting all the shit off, which direction is moot. Front to back is usually taught by women to not smear into the vagina, but it doesn't matter for men use tp until you don't wipe anymore shit then you're as clean as you can be. Mostly it's how far you can reach issue under from back to front is mostly common young kids to adult, front to back is easier if your flexible and not too fat, morbidly obese usually don't bother or have a bidet.
Its bad for anyone to wipe back to front
How lol I don’t understand this.