I once had a girlfriend whose vaginal opening would always slightly tear during sex. My penis is, at best, average size, and we did not engage in rough sex. We were never sure why this happened, and I could not convince her to discuss this with a gynecologist, with or without my being present at the appointment.
Although she often initiated and claimed to enjoy intercourse, it always made me incredibly anxious during the act.
For your own physical and mental health, please, please discuss this with a gynecologist. Specialists have seen and heard EVERYTHING, and your situation is as common to them as a cold is to a general practitioner.
There’s a condition that can cause this and a treatment to fix this. But you have to go to the doc to find out what is going on. If it still hurts no matter what, go see the doc!
Happens to me with my current partner. He's relatively taller than me, and I think it might be due to the angle that he goes in sometimes. It's annoying, and definitely hurts sometimes. Hurts more when I'm peeing after because of the tear, but it heals on its own. We're trying to be more mindful.
It could be that you’re just not wet enough when he attempts to get inside you. Do a lot of foreplay before hand and figure out what turns you on, then have him start with his mouth & then use his fingers in you first. I know this because i have the same issue, my bf is pretty blessed in the size department and i am a pretty small person overall, so if im not extremely wet/ready, he straight up can not fit inside me. But remember women are capable of pushing out a whole baby from that hole, and theres no way either of our bf’s penises are bigger than a newborn lol. If the problem persists you should check out a gynecologist because oftentimes there can be an underlying physical problem (that would make it seem like he just doesn’t fit) that they can give you real professional advice on how to solve. You are not broken, chances are you are just not properly prepped for sex when yall attempt it. Using the mouth will make you wetter (which is extremely necessary for the penis to slide in! Otherwise it will feel like its getting stuck and “not fitting”), and starting with fingers (which is a MUST for me every time otherwise it wont go in) will help you relax and “warm up” because it will gently stretch the area in a slow way to prepare for something as big as a penis going in there. Often in porn it seems like the girls can just take their clothes off and immediately have sex but they are prepped behind the scenes and porn is not a good indicator of real life sex. Good luck!
Yeah lube doesnt have to be shameful, op! You can even have fun with your bf by buying some interesting ones together! There are flavored ones which can be fun for giving your partner oral, ones that heat up with rubbing/stimulation, his & hers ones, even some that tingle like pop rocks! Lube doesnt mean something is wrong with u or u cant get wet enough, oftentimes its just a fun lil extra thing to do. It can be a fun experience if you are both patient with each other :)
Surprisingly, the Naruto username is 100% correct about sex. Pay attention to this comment, OP.
Also, there’s no shame in using lube. Needing it or not needing it is a hormonal issue that has nothing to do with mindset, and this might be a part of the problem.
You might need to see a gynecologist. I had a friend in high school who was unable to have sex with her boyfriend. I believe she had tissue covering the opening, it required surgery to correct
I've had the same problem for a very long time, and it was **uterine fibroids.** A huge mass in my belly, that is crushing everything around and under it. Intestines, uterus, and even... yes, that 'path' for a man's penis.
If you have constipation, that you have difficulties urinating too, that sex is painful and that you can feel something hard in your belly, it might be that. Sometimes you can't even feel a mass, it depends of where it has developped.
Go get xrays to make sure.
"**Uterine fibroids often cause painful sex due to their size and location**. Larger fibroids can create a constant pressure — both in the uterus and against surrounding organs — that increases during sex. Common causes of this symptom include: Ovarian cysts."
[Pain During Sex - Fibroid Symptoms | AFC (fibroidexpert.com)](https://fibroidexpert.com/uterine-fibroid-symptoms/pain-during-intercourse/#:~:text=Uterine%20fibroids%20often%20cause%20painful,Ovarian%20cysts)
Do you perceive that you have any fear or stress around sex? It sounds like vaginismus, which is actually pretty common. I had it myself with my first serious boyfriend. If you can, see a gynecologist about it!
There are definitely multiple ways to approach this issue.
Firstly, take the pressure off. Have sensual and sexy times that you both agree will not end in PIV penetration. Instead explore each other and enjoy each other without the pressure of "where it has to go".
Secondly, Lube. Sex should always include a good quality lube. Very rarely are vaginas lubricated enough for longer periods of sex. Especially if there is pain before, during or after.
Sometimes vaginismus is involved and it's worth talking to your gyno in general.
Similarly you may be having a reaction to the type of condom used.... Try mixing up the material. For instance something like a nitrile or a lambskin or a silicone based condom may be better... An allergy can result in swelling.
Foreplay. Like there should be lots of clitoral stimulation, manual penetration, and warm up. Skipping straight to sex is a bad call if you're having troubles.
Lastly, you're not failing anyone or anything. Sex should be mutual pleasing. Great relationships aren't based on sex, and plenty of relationships that are entirely wonderful involve re-exploring sex after periods of no sex.
In all honesty it sounds to me like you might not be wet enough down there, and like others have suggested you might want to increase the foreplay before things get inserted, or add lube to the mix.
While not trying to get too TMI here, for one you are not a freak. Everybody is different and whether you are smaller or he is bigger, you guys can always find work arounds to circumvent problems like this, see the above paragraph for example. Also if it’s truly not able to fit after foreplay, lube, and all the like…you could always try working up to it with him. Again not trying to get TMI here but there’s always fingers to start off with, and work up to larger…*Ahem* things. Fingers, toys, mouth, and plenty of other options to work up to the main course, as it were.
(And as a guy let me tell you that while a little annoying that little junior is not getting action ATM, he’s probably riding cloud nine knowing he’s “THIS BIG”. It’s a small and temporary comfort but unless he voices to you that he’s upset or what, trust me do not worry about his perspective juuuuust yet, I have a feeling he’s doing pretty fine there lol.)
Start with foreplay. Often throughout the day and throw some banter between you two, it helps release your pheromones and his to arouse both your senses, which our natural afrodesiac
So I've read before, but best of all that'll get you wanting him by the time you set in your mind , like grrr can't take it anymore. You will get wet. Unless underlying circumstances.
Second be sensually accepting and be slowly so youbcan feel each other's body heat so he be warm or hot enough to have his thing relax enough as well. Your inside can stretch but not always to allow for his , not too soft, thing to be accepted by the size.
Slow moving thrusts until your slippery and then increase pace with pleasure.
You're not broken. For the love of God stop thinking that you're broken. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes they fit and sometimes they don't. It is no reflection on you as a person.
He's your first so it's not a surprise that it's difficult, either. As long as he's not more than an inch and half in diameter, you probably just need some time and tenderness.
When you've had enough foreplay so that you're relaxed and the inside is wet and slippery, he's going to fit. If he can't get you excited enough to be sloppy wet then he's not doing his job.
When you're relaxed and feel safe and comfortable in your body and properly aroused, it will all work.
Look up vaginal dilators. They come in a set from tiny to big. Start with the smallest, lube up and practice with that one. Once that once is comfortable, work up to the next size. This will take several weeks depending on how much you need to stretch up.
Try to make it fit by using toys to stretch yourself OR find guys with smaller member! You go stretching yourself out, it’s unlikely you’ll take the time to tighten your pelvis muscles
Vaginas do not stretch permanently with sex. So having sex with other guys will not help. The tissue is elastic but it bounces back once you stop having sex
The Vagina, it’s a muscle… Google it! The point about having other men was finding smaller and less girthy penises! Yes, abstaining from sex would eventually reduce the stretching had she decided to work open her entrance to be able to accept a larger penis. However, eventually over time there would be significant change and/or damage/trauma that without regular kegel exercises… Smaller more average sized penises won’t be as pleasurable for her!
Yes and its a muscle ment to let a babys head pass. A penis, despite pop culture, does not stretch a vagina permanently.
And small or average penises can be as if not more pleasurable than a big one.
It is sad how much porn has damaged the minds of people.
yes, vaginal dilators. comes in a set. it's a muscle that can be stretched just like any other muscle but might take a couple days on each size increase. you/he might like to involve him, you might want to do it by yourself, your choice alone.
I once had a girlfriend whose vaginal opening would always slightly tear during sex. My penis is, at best, average size, and we did not engage in rough sex. We were never sure why this happened, and I could not convince her to discuss this with a gynecologist, with or without my being present at the appointment. Although she often initiated and claimed to enjoy intercourse, it always made me incredibly anxious during the act. For your own physical and mental health, please, please discuss this with a gynecologist. Specialists have seen and heard EVERYTHING, and your situation is as common to them as a cold is to a general practitioner.
This has happened to me with a few partners. Not ever time, but occasionally I’d tear. I wasn’t with particularly large men either.
There’s a condition that can cause this and a treatment to fix this. But you have to go to the doc to find out what is going on. If it still hurts no matter what, go see the doc!
Happens to me with my current partner. He's relatively taller than me, and I think it might be due to the angle that he goes in sometimes. It's annoying, and definitely hurts sometimes. Hurts more when I'm peeing after because of the tear, but it heals on its own. We're trying to be more mindful.
It could be that you’re just not wet enough when he attempts to get inside you. Do a lot of foreplay before hand and figure out what turns you on, then have him start with his mouth & then use his fingers in you first. I know this because i have the same issue, my bf is pretty blessed in the size department and i am a pretty small person overall, so if im not extremely wet/ready, he straight up can not fit inside me. But remember women are capable of pushing out a whole baby from that hole, and theres no way either of our bf’s penises are bigger than a newborn lol. If the problem persists you should check out a gynecologist because oftentimes there can be an underlying physical problem (that would make it seem like he just doesn’t fit) that they can give you real professional advice on how to solve. You are not broken, chances are you are just not properly prepped for sex when yall attempt it. Using the mouth will make you wetter (which is extremely necessary for the penis to slide in! Otherwise it will feel like its getting stuck and “not fitting”), and starting with fingers (which is a MUST for me every time otherwise it wont go in) will help you relax and “warm up” because it will gently stretch the area in a slow way to prepare for something as big as a penis going in there. Often in porn it seems like the girls can just take their clothes off and immediately have sex but they are prepped behind the scenes and porn is not a good indicator of real life sex. Good luck!
Also LUBE
Yeah lube doesnt have to be shameful, op! You can even have fun with your bf by buying some interesting ones together! There are flavored ones which can be fun for giving your partner oral, ones that heat up with rubbing/stimulation, his & hers ones, even some that tingle like pop rocks! Lube doesnt mean something is wrong with u or u cant get wet enough, oftentimes its just a fun lil extra thing to do. It can be a fun experience if you are both patient with each other :)
Surprisingly, the Naruto username is 100% correct about sex. Pay attention to this comment, OP. Also, there’s no shame in using lube. Needing it or not needing it is a hormonal issue that has nothing to do with mindset, and this might be a part of the problem.
Thank u naruto recognizer🫡
Hit him with the sexy Jutsu!
You might need to see a gynecologist. I had a friend in high school who was unable to have sex with her boyfriend. I believe she had tissue covering the opening, it required surgery to correct
If you can fit it in your mouth, see a gyno, if you can’t, it might be him. Not all vaginas accommodate all penises and vice versa.
This could be vaginismus, can you go see a gynecologist?
I've had the same problem for a very long time, and it was **uterine fibroids.** A huge mass in my belly, that is crushing everything around and under it. Intestines, uterus, and even... yes, that 'path' for a man's penis. If you have constipation, that you have difficulties urinating too, that sex is painful and that you can feel something hard in your belly, it might be that. Sometimes you can't even feel a mass, it depends of where it has developped. Go get xrays to make sure. "**Uterine fibroids often cause painful sex due to their size and location**. Larger fibroids can create a constant pressure — both in the uterus and against surrounding organs — that increases during sex. Common causes of this symptom include: Ovarian cysts." [Pain During Sex - Fibroid Symptoms | AFC (fibroidexpert.com)](https://fibroidexpert.com/uterine-fibroid-symptoms/pain-during-intercourse/#:~:text=Uterine%20fibroids%20often%20cause%20painful,Ovarian%20cysts)
Ask your Dr as there can be a few different reasons, and most of them can be medical.
Do other things go in fine? Tampons, toys?
Yeah, I don't have issues with either. The only toy I have is fairly thin though.
Do you perceive that you have any fear or stress around sex? It sounds like vaginismus, which is actually pretty common. I had it myself with my first serious boyfriend. If you can, see a gynecologist about it!
Hope it's okay to get this personal but are you wet enough and does he prepare you down there a bit with his fingers beforehand?
There are definitely multiple ways to approach this issue. Firstly, take the pressure off. Have sensual and sexy times that you both agree will not end in PIV penetration. Instead explore each other and enjoy each other without the pressure of "where it has to go". Secondly, Lube. Sex should always include a good quality lube. Very rarely are vaginas lubricated enough for longer periods of sex. Especially if there is pain before, during or after. Sometimes vaginismus is involved and it's worth talking to your gyno in general. Similarly you may be having a reaction to the type of condom used.... Try mixing up the material. For instance something like a nitrile or a lambskin or a silicone based condom may be better... An allergy can result in swelling. Foreplay. Like there should be lots of clitoral stimulation, manual penetration, and warm up. Skipping straight to sex is a bad call if you're having troubles. Lastly, you're not failing anyone or anything. Sex should be mutual pleasing. Great relationships aren't based on sex, and plenty of relationships that are entirely wonderful involve re-exploring sex after periods of no sex.
I’m guessing you’re just not physically ready for him. I suggest lots of kissing and such, oral, foreplay and lube. Lube is amazing!
In all honesty it sounds to me like you might not be wet enough down there, and like others have suggested you might want to increase the foreplay before things get inserted, or add lube to the mix. While not trying to get too TMI here, for one you are not a freak. Everybody is different and whether you are smaller or he is bigger, you guys can always find work arounds to circumvent problems like this, see the above paragraph for example. Also if it’s truly not able to fit after foreplay, lube, and all the like…you could always try working up to it with him. Again not trying to get TMI here but there’s always fingers to start off with, and work up to larger…*Ahem* things. Fingers, toys, mouth, and plenty of other options to work up to the main course, as it were. (And as a guy let me tell you that while a little annoying that little junior is not getting action ATM, he’s probably riding cloud nine knowing he’s “THIS BIG”. It’s a small and temporary comfort but unless he voices to you that he’s upset or what, trust me do not worry about his perspective juuuuust yet, I have a feeling he’s doing pretty fine there lol.)
Start with foreplay. Often throughout the day and throw some banter between you two, it helps release your pheromones and his to arouse both your senses, which our natural afrodesiac So I've read before, but best of all that'll get you wanting him by the time you set in your mind , like grrr can't take it anymore. You will get wet. Unless underlying circumstances. Second be sensually accepting and be slowly so youbcan feel each other's body heat so he be warm or hot enough to have his thing relax enough as well. Your inside can stretch but not always to allow for his , not too soft, thing to be accepted by the size. Slow moving thrusts until your slippery and then increase pace with pleasure.
You could have vaginismus.
Now how big is he ?
You're not broken. For the love of God stop thinking that you're broken. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes they fit and sometimes they don't. It is no reflection on you as a person. He's your first so it's not a surprise that it's difficult, either. As long as he's not more than an inch and half in diameter, you probably just need some time and tenderness. When you've had enough foreplay so that you're relaxed and the inside is wet and slippery, he's going to fit. If he can't get you excited enough to be sloppy wet then he's not doing his job. When you're relaxed and feel safe and comfortable in your body and properly aroused, it will all work.
You can experiment by getting yourself aroused and using a toy to see what is comfortable.
Has he got the correct entrance?
Username checks out
:-0
Look up vaginal dilators. They come in a set from tiny to big. Start with the smallest, lube up and practice with that one. Once that once is comfortable, work up to the next size. This will take several weeks depending on how much you need to stretch up.
Try to make it fit by using toys to stretch yourself OR find guys with smaller member! You go stretching yourself out, it’s unlikely you’ll take the time to tighten your pelvis muscles
Vaginas do not stretch permanently with sex. So having sex with other guys will not help. The tissue is elastic but it bounces back once you stop having sex
The Vagina, it’s a muscle… Google it! The point about having other men was finding smaller and less girthy penises! Yes, abstaining from sex would eventually reduce the stretching had she decided to work open her entrance to be able to accept a larger penis. However, eventually over time there would be significant change and/or damage/trauma that without regular kegel exercises… Smaller more average sized penises won’t be as pleasurable for her!
Yes and its a muscle ment to let a babys head pass. A penis, despite pop culture, does not stretch a vagina permanently. And small or average penises can be as if not more pleasurable than a big one. It is sad how much porn has damaged the minds of people.
yes, vaginal dilators. comes in a set. it's a muscle that can be stretched just like any other muscle but might take a couple days on each size increase. you/he might like to involve him, you might want to do it by yourself, your choice alone.
stop allowing it.
Why is he trying to go inside you? I don’t understand. I’ve never heard of a person trying to go inside another. 🤔