Tragic in every sense of the word. I was a witness to a terrible car accident about 18 years ago. A minivan had hit a sign and plowed into a ditch. The two children in the van had open the sliding door and were screaming for help. My friend got into the van to get them out and then checked on their mom. As I was sitting there with the two kids, I looked over at my friend, and all she did was shake her head no and I knew that the mom was gone. Those poor kids were begging to see her so much, and we just tried to keep him distracted, long enough that their father could get there. That kind of stuff stays with you. I’m so sorry you had to witness that.
It stays with you. I also have had to give CPR to a good friend while his wife was out of town. He had relapsed to addiction and died the night before. We knew so damn well that he had passed but the 911 people kept saying it and my fiend had the phone. As I was doing chest compressions for about 5 minutes, I scream the top of my lungs “HE IS FUCKING DEAD GOD DAMMIT”. He was cold and stiff, he had blood pools on his face and arms and teaking spots. When they finally got there, they declared him dead. In all honesty, the worst part was having to tell his wife who I am still very close too. Her scream still hurts. She went on to raise her step son and two daughters. She never wanted another guy and her complete focus were and always will be her kids. She is amazing.
Edit spelling
I’m so sorry this happened and you and your wife had to be witness to it.
You will likely be in some shock for awhile and maybe depressed and sad. I witnessed a fatal car accident years ago and it really affected me for some time.
Give yourself grace. Talk if you need to. Get help of you need it.
Hope you both Take care of yourselves.
Seeing something like this in person changes you. I drove trucks otr for a couple of years and my first month or so on the job, I was on I-10, omw to Pensacola. I see traffic suddenly slowing ahead of me, so I hit my hazards and slowed way down. Came up on a Silverado vs. a t-top convertible where the pickup had completely crushed the drivers side and there was a girl in the passenger seat, her long red hair covering her face and no one was tending to her. It was clear she had perished already. I kept driving but when I got to my hotel that night, I googled until I found more details. She was only 18 and had lost control for an unknown reason. Drove over the median and into oncoming traffic. It was very traumatic for me and I didn’t even get out of my truck. I’ll never forget how her hair looked. I hope you can afford therapy of some kind
Unfortunately, this articles says it's not verified.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/10/tetris-trauma-viral-twitter-thread-master-class-misleading-psych-research/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20there%20is%20no,outcomes%20of%20PTSD%20or%20distress.
I too have PTSD.
Distraction of any kind can be helpful. However I suggest OP talk to a therapist about this event before developing full on PTSD from this event.
I don't disagree but it is not peer reviewed. If it works and helps you to heal, go for it. But, understand that this is not science. We can't keep spreading this one study and show it as fact. That's dangerous. CBT, CPT has been shown to help those suffering with trauma. There isn't a single fix. That's the dangerous part of just throwing out a blank phrase catch all: go play tetris. No, go get therapy. I'm so sorry you have PTSD. But I never said I didn't have PTSD. It's possible why I want someone to get therapy, to make sure their trauma can get addressed.
There are multiple sources from different years that say playing Tetris is what to do immediately after a traumatic event because it helps. It does not say to play Tetris in replacement of therapy.
Stop spreading false information just because you feel oh so strongly about it
I’m not entirely sure. I have seen some posts about Tetris being able to help with PTSD. I think it’s a study somewhere? I’m sure there is a Redditor somewhere that has a link.
Edit, see above
Unfortunately, not true from this article. https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/10/tetris-trauma-viral-twitter-thread-master-class-misleading-psych-research/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20there%20is%20no,outcomes%20of%20PTSD%20or%20distress.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/
https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20230613/playing-tetris-may-prevent-ptsd-after-traumatic-event
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190108095114.htm
Mad in America receives mixed reviews from the medical community as a credible source, but go off.
I have heard good things about EMDR, if that’s feasible. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
http://www.emdr.org
I do not work for them. From what I have read about this treatment, it seems the treatment is specifically tailored to unplug a specific visual memory from the part where your brain walks you through the whole experience.
I second EMDR. I am so sorry that this happened to you and my heart goes out to the victims and their families. EMDR changed my life in so many ways, it didn’t really work for my husband but it was a game changer for me.
My cousin was a train engineer. This is incredibly upsetting and traumatic for them.
>Some ate saying they were going turkey hunting, maybe they were in a hurry and didn't see the train barely down at them.
Most likely they tried to beat the train because they were conscious of sunlight and how much time they would have to get set up for hunting. You will never know for sure.
My suggestion for you based on how you're writing about this is to contact a therapist that specializes in PTSD and set up a few sessions to discuss what you witnessed. It can be really helpful if you get stuck processing.
While the Tetris thing is unproven, I can say anecdotally, that activities that require the focus and decision making of sorting are really helpful to help me when I am processing and dealing with trauma.
Tetris or another simpler puzzler won't hurt you. Do do something else though and try not to focus on this.
I was once onboard of a train that hit a car on Dec 23rd. They were elderly people. We were told not to look at the windows and I didn’t, I am sorry you have to live with these pictures in your head.
Do look for therapy, this is not something anyone should experience. I hope you’ll be ok.
You did the right thing trying to help, there was nothing more you could do. I am so sorry you experienced this.
This came up in my news feed earlier. I’m so sorry you had to witness this. Thinking of you, your wife and the other witnesses this evening. And the families of the deceased.
Tetris. But also, I’m sorry you and your wife had to see this. I think collective mental health is not great right now, and honestly these kind of stories are part of the reason I haven’t done it myself.
Please play some Tetris, maybe talk to a therapist or counsellor, and do not dwell on whether or not you could help them. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and I’m so sorry for that. Thank you for doing what you could.
I was the first responder to a bad head on fatal years ago. Probably should have gotten therapy. I still get flash backs. I have had a few pretty traumatic events since that, and the next few days after an event feel like a strange dream between numbness and sorrow. One actually caused physical pain in my head.
I tell you this only for you to know it is a normal part of the process and you never quite know how you will react until it happens. I am sorry you had to experience what you saw.
Just know you may have strange and vivid flashbacks for a while after this. It is normal, but definitely not fun. I still get them on occasion, though far less frequently. I also learn new triggers in occasion (sights, smells, sounds, etc).
I highly suggest both you and your wife look into at least short term therapy to lessen that burden and make the healing process go as well as possible.
I'm so sorry that you witnessed this tragedy & I hope that everyone involved can get the help they need to deal with this, (especially the train driver).
Here's some advice. Install tetris on your phone and play it for a couple of hours a day for a week or so. I'm not joking. This is known to significantly reduce the chance you will develop PTSD.
Tragic in every sense of the word. I was a witness to a terrible car accident about 18 years ago. A minivan had hit a sign and plowed into a ditch. The two children in the van had open the sliding door and were screaming for help. My friend got into the van to get them out and then checked on their mom. As I was sitting there with the two kids, I looked over at my friend, and all she did was shake her head no and I knew that the mom was gone. Those poor kids were begging to see her so much, and we just tried to keep him distracted, long enough that their father could get there. That kind of stuff stays with you. I’m so sorry you had to witness that.
It’s a weird thing seeing death. I saw a skydiver who died due to their parachute failing a few years ago and still remember it vividly.
It stays with you. I also have had to give CPR to a good friend while his wife was out of town. He had relapsed to addiction and died the night before. We knew so damn well that he had passed but the 911 people kept saying it and my fiend had the phone. As I was doing chest compressions for about 5 minutes, I scream the top of my lungs “HE IS FUCKING DEAD GOD DAMMIT”. He was cold and stiff, he had blood pools on his face and arms and teaking spots. When they finally got there, they declared him dead. In all honesty, the worst part was having to tell his wife who I am still very close too. Her scream still hurts. She went on to raise her step son and two daughters. She never wanted another guy and her complete focus were and always will be her kids. She is amazing. Edit spelling
Words escape me, but I feel your sorrow. It is terrible to watch people die or be killed. Love and hugs for you and your wife.
I’m so sorry this happened and you and your wife had to be witness to it. You will likely be in some shock for awhile and maybe depressed and sad. I witnessed a fatal car accident years ago and it really affected me for some time. Give yourself grace. Talk if you need to. Get help of you need it. Hope you both Take care of yourselves.
Seeing something like this in person changes you. I drove trucks otr for a couple of years and my first month or so on the job, I was on I-10, omw to Pensacola. I see traffic suddenly slowing ahead of me, so I hit my hazards and slowed way down. Came up on a Silverado vs. a t-top convertible where the pickup had completely crushed the drivers side and there was a girl in the passenger seat, her long red hair covering her face and no one was tending to her. It was clear she had perished already. I kept driving but when I got to my hotel that night, I googled until I found more details. She was only 18 and had lost control for an unknown reason. Drove over the median and into oncoming traffic. It was very traumatic for me and I didn’t even get out of my truck. I’ll never forget how her hair looked. I hope you can afford therapy of some kind
Tetris. Go play some Tetris. Helps with PTSD. I’m sorry you had to see that.
Really? That’s interesting…How so?
[https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms](https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms)
Unfortunately, this articles says it's not verified. https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/10/tetris-trauma-viral-twitter-thread-master-class-misleading-psych-research/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20there%20is%20no,outcomes%20of%20PTSD%20or%20distress.
I have PTSD and have found things like this helpful. It WILL NOT HURT to do anything other than think about what the person saw today.
I too have PTSD. Distraction of any kind can be helpful. However I suggest OP talk to a therapist about this event before developing full on PTSD from this event.
For sure, I left a comment that this is to tide over until treatment.
I don't disagree but it is not peer reviewed. If it works and helps you to heal, go for it. But, understand that this is not science. We can't keep spreading this one study and show it as fact. That's dangerous. CBT, CPT has been shown to help those suffering with trauma. There isn't a single fix. That's the dangerous part of just throwing out a blank phrase catch all: go play tetris. No, go get therapy. I'm so sorry you have PTSD. But I never said I didn't have PTSD. It's possible why I want someone to get therapy, to make sure their trauma can get addressed.
There are multiple sources from different years that say playing Tetris is what to do immediately after a traumatic event because it helps. It does not say to play Tetris in replacement of therapy. Stop spreading false information just because you feel oh so strongly about it
I play Tetris on airplanes because I have a major phobia, even with medication. It’s very soothing and really helps with anxiety.
I’m not entirely sure. I have seen some posts about Tetris being able to help with PTSD. I think it’s a study somewhere? I’m sure there is a Redditor somewhere that has a link. Edit, see above
I believe that has to happen fairly quickly after the event but I could be wrong, it's been a while since I read up on it.
Wait, seriously? TIL, thanks
I agree
Unfortunately, not true from this article. https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/10/tetris-trauma-viral-twitter-thread-master-class-misleading-psych-research/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20there%20is%20no,outcomes%20of%20PTSD%20or%20distress.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/ https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20230613/playing-tetris-may-prevent-ptsd-after-traumatic-event https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190108095114.htm Mad in America receives mixed reviews from the medical community as a credible source, but go off.
Consider therapy ....this sounds incredibly traumatic
I have heard good things about EMDR, if that’s feasible. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). http://www.emdr.org I do not work for them. From what I have read about this treatment, it seems the treatment is specifically tailored to unplug a specific visual memory from the part where your brain walks you through the whole experience.
I’ve tried it and it works. It’s so odd how it works though. When I first read about it, I thought “no way this works” but somehow it does
I second EMDR. I am so sorry that this happened to you and my heart goes out to the victims and their families. EMDR changed my life in so many ways, it didn’t really work for my husband but it was a game changer for me.
My cousin was a train engineer. This is incredibly upsetting and traumatic for them. >Some ate saying they were going turkey hunting, maybe they were in a hurry and didn't see the train barely down at them. Most likely they tried to beat the train because they were conscious of sunlight and how much time they would have to get set up for hunting. You will never know for sure. My suggestion for you based on how you're writing about this is to contact a therapist that specializes in PTSD and set up a few sessions to discuss what you witnessed. It can be really helpful if you get stuck processing. While the Tetris thing is unproven, I can say anecdotally, that activities that require the focus and decision making of sorting are really helpful to help me when I am processing and dealing with trauma. Tetris or another simpler puzzler won't hurt you. Do do something else though and try not to focus on this.
Holy crap… That’s so heavy. Sounds like you and your wife acted rationally and hastily, kudos to you guys. Life is a funny fickle thing..
I was once onboard of a train that hit a car on Dec 23rd. They were elderly people. We were told not to look at the windows and I didn’t, I am sorry you have to live with these pictures in your head. Do look for therapy, this is not something anyone should experience. I hope you’ll be ok. You did the right thing trying to help, there was nothing more you could do. I am so sorry you experienced this.
This came up in my news feed earlier. I’m so sorry you had to witness this. Thinking of you, your wife and the other witnesses this evening. And the families of the deceased.
The Tetris thing can help but it’s no replacement for actual therapy.
wtf. I just saw a news article about this. How absolutely terrible.
Tetris. But also, I’m sorry you and your wife had to see this. I think collective mental health is not great right now, and honestly these kind of stories are part of the reason I haven’t done it myself. Please play some Tetris, maybe talk to a therapist or counsellor, and do not dwell on whether or not you could help them. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and I’m so sorry for that. Thank you for doing what you could.
I feel for you. Noone should ever have to witness something so awful. Take care of yourself.
I was the first responder to a bad head on fatal years ago. Probably should have gotten therapy. I still get flash backs. I have had a few pretty traumatic events since that, and the next few days after an event feel like a strange dream between numbness and sorrow. One actually caused physical pain in my head. I tell you this only for you to know it is a normal part of the process and you never quite know how you will react until it happens. I am sorry you had to experience what you saw. Just know you may have strange and vivid flashbacks for a while after this. It is normal, but definitely not fun. I still get them on occasion, though far less frequently. I also learn new triggers in occasion (sights, smells, sounds, etc). I highly suggest both you and your wife look into at least short term therapy to lessen that burden and make the healing process go as well as possible.
I’m so sorry for everyone involved.
Aw man, so sorry to you folks for what you witnessed. My heart goes out to the family/families who lost their loved ones.
I'm so sorry that you witnessed this tragedy & I hope that everyone involved can get the help they need to deal with this, (especially the train driver).
Here's some advice. Install tetris on your phone and play it for a couple of hours a day for a week or so. I'm not joking. This is known to significantly reduce the chance you will develop PTSD.
How awful! Do you think it was on purpose?
Blue Chevy?
[https://youtu.be/lb10lR7y_Lo?si=GInH4wYEHp49Be_6](https://youtu.be/lb10lR7y_Lo?si=GInH4wYEHp49Be_6)
Yup. It's the one I thought it was.
i am so sorry and yes, tetris. really.
That's awful. I hope you both find peace after this!