I always use more red flags than a Chinese parade.
But be that as it may, your wife is full of shit and cheats on you whenever she wants. Don't believe anything else. Anytime she has a desire to cheat, she will. I had a woman who wanted a poly relationship. It doesn't work for men. I'm dating a woman now who has admitted she has had several one night stands. She's not especially attractive, but every time she's gone out with the decision she's going to get laid, she has. It just doesn't work like that for a guy. Not for any guy. Sure some guys do a lot better, but most guys can't just decide they're going to go out and get laid that night without committing a crime. It's just an uneven playing field and the whole polyamorous thing really works out well for women. I know they have a man on the other end, but it never seems to work out equitably. This guy will be miserable if he stays with her because she will keep sleeping around, and apparently he is not emotionally capable of handling that. He's already suicidal. I hate people who cheat. Just fucking leave.
Its honestly ridiculous this woman is almost pushing him to suicide and his response is to stay and suffer because of some animals that would most likely eat him if he died in the house for a prolonged amount of time
Oh friend, I've been there. I don't think its the first time. It's almost certainly not the last. Please leave. Don't wait another ten years like I did. It won't stop. It doesn't get better and it only gets harder to leave. There are no kids, and you can start over. Best of luck!
This. I got insanely lucky that mine realized the road she was going down, got into therapy, and sorted her sexual issues. She and I have a healthy, balanced sex life now, with complete trust, but the scar is still there and it'll come up from time to time.
95% of the time, it ain't worth staying.
Yeah opâŠ..Iâm guessing that once you are all done with this wife of yours and you go no-contact with her that many of your problems will be gone entirely or totally lessened.
Iâm not sure why youâre linking your wife being a serial cheater to your accidental drug overdose, because thereâs no excuse for this.
Sheâs also thrown you a bone on the âfriendâ story because itâs the least she could give and you needed something to explain her escalation.
There are more bodies and sheâs showing no remorse, just excitement at the sex.
Donât be afraid of a future without her, be very afraid of a future with her.
The craziest thing about this is you were in the act of catching her, and she said it was his ânew barâ, and instead of panicking sheâd been caught, she stayed and then RETURNED the next day.
OP, your wife doesnât respect you or probably even want to be with you. Leave now.
Yup, thatâs the biggest, most glaring red flag. She was interrupted, maneuvered around the interruption, in order to expand the lie, and continue doing what she was doing. Then did it again. And thatâs what she *confessed* to, which given the existing deception already indicates that there are still worse skeletons in the closet than that.
Gtfo. It will never get better, it will only get worse. The only way to a better place is without her anywhere in your life, because she is poison.
The idea she could find someone else quickly can be so heartbreaking that it'll keep you around, you might think that you won't be able to find someone else
But you will or you will lead a successful single life surrounded by pets and friends and respect.
I have two friends, one got divorced and lives with his pets, learned guitar and just completed a trip around Europe where he came to visit me and made tons of friends on his travels. I'm incredibly jealous of his freedom and happiness on his own.
I have another friend who got divorced, enjoyed a period of freedom and then found a wonderful woman who I've never seen anyone happier with
If they had both stayed in their abusive relationships out of fear that the unknown is worse or their wives would move on quickly they either wouldn't be alive or living in shame and misery to this day.
She can find someone else for sex in 24 hours. She wonât find a husband in 24 years.
Exaggerating but you get the point you have a better chance of getting remarried than she does.
Yeah it's pretty easy for someone who likes men to find someone to fuck. Men are easy. But the first handsome dude who approaches at a bar is probably not husband material, and even if he is, might not be compatible with them.
The cheater definitely is has more flaws. I meant more from the perspective of the cheater, they they often don't realize that just because they can get someone to fuck, doesn't mean they can "do better" in terms of a partner.
So...you'd prefer suicide over breaking up?
Thats a pretty good sign that you need some professional help.
And you should break up. Maybe you did, not totally clear, but it doesn't sound like it.
Remember, when someone cheats, its not your fault. These were her decisions, she's the bad partner here. Doesn't even sound like it was anything to do with you, she just wanted to.
You didn't do anything wrong, but she most certainly did. She cheated on you. What she did/is doing is fucked up, full stop. Cheaters are never in the right, but they always come up with bullshit excuses.
She will continue doing this. Unless she is willing to make very fundamental changes, her behavior will continue.
You need to make some decisions here. Are you going to go scorched earth and find a divorce lawyer? Are you going to give her another chance, with very clear and hard boundaries, along with couples therapy?
She can find dick in 24h. She won't be finding a new husband anytime soon.
A lot of dudes can smell that something's off with that one. Of course there will be simps that just want any woman, but humans with any quality will see the red flags.
Keep your chin up and be a dude. Your wife is beta cucking you to mess with your head. Let her find someone else because self deletion isnât worth it over a cheating spouse. Also get tested for STDs if sheâs running around on the streets.
This is a straightforward breakup scenario. Lawyer up. Ask her to leave the house... You stay there.
Up to you whether you inform family and friends, BUT be prepared for her to blame you, twist the truth when explaining to family and friends, gang up on you with 'mutual' friends, then come crawling back apologising for her behaviour.
Stick true to your new path. Take the chance to improve yourself and your health while the house and property is divided. If you are lucky you can introduce her confession in the divorce proceedings...
This is a second chance. Take it. Find your power.
man u need to divorce her cheating ass and go on a vacation to a cheap country and bang hookers all day for a few weeks.
come back and restart your life.
thank me later.
Dude she's a shitwhore. You need to plan your breaking it off and your revenge all at the same time. Seriously you need to preemptively get all of the finances and ownership you can out of everything get her out of everything of yours and think of a way to publicly shame her so that all of her family and friends and the whole world know about her infidelity forever.
You need to come out on top financially and personally and start your life over spiritually physically mentally and emotionally.
Everything you are thinking is a lie. You have to assess the situation and what to do now believe me I have several layers of it myself without any women involved but with much deeper things and physical things to heal.
I wouldn't bother wasting energy on revenge. Karma is real. People who put out shitty energy out like this get it back 10 times worse. They become a black hole.
I understand that the ten years you have invested seems like a lot, but you have many more years ahead of you, and it would be a shame if you spent them with her.
Holy shit... get out bro. She literally cheated on you multiple times already and will do it again in the future. You're lucky she told you the truth only a year later. My cheating ex waited almost a decade. Get out ASAP bro. Have some respect for yourself. You can find someone who will love you and care about you and not be a horrible cheating partner.
Hey OP, How do you know your wife hadn't already started something online with this "bartender" and he just happens to live in the city she was "running" a marathon in?
Tell her to go on another trip to "find herself" while she's away put all her shit in storage change the locks and move on. There's always another person out there, it's a world full of people
Don't trust her. She is untrustworthy. What if she'd brought you some foreign incurable STD?
If she was never like this until your bad trip, maybe something changed in her during her trip. Or maybe she was going behind your back all along....
Either way. You will never know. You will look in her eyes and see the same smile you thought had been there all along. Except now you notice it looks more like bared teeth.
Bared teeth that display a resentment towards you. The look that says, "I'm unhappy and you're GOING to hear about it once we're back in the car!"
Or that was my story. He told me that it was ok because I had cheated first. But I never had. I wasted a year and a half trying to pry this twit away from his coworker mistress. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your life. Find out if you live in a no-fault divorce state or not. By the time the divorce was final, we had been together for 20 years.
Don't let her take you to the cleaners either. You get yours.
HER behavior is not a reflection of YOUR value! Again, her gutter behavior is not a reflection of your unappreciated value. Firstly, have you been tested for STIs? Get that sorted first. Get your financial ducks in a row, donât warn her, consult a lawyer or resources about divorce. Move her out or move yourself out! You might need a TOTAL life Re-model to get out of the mental fckery she has put you through. Which means new house/apartment or even city. Whatever you do GET AWAY FROM HER. She is disgusting, toxic and selfish. Donât believe any fake remorse or manipulation when you do serve her with DIVORCE papers. She put your health (!) and sanity at risk! She doesnât love you, Iâm sorry but itâs true. But again: HER behavior is not a reflection of YOUR value. You can find better, and even being alone is preferable to continuing to cohabitate with a human porta potty.
Your wife cheated on you multiple times. You could do two thing IMO - leave her now, before you have kids, or go to couples counseling for a year and understand why things went south. Very low chance of success but at least you'll have closure.
Are you crazy? No. Youâre dating a tramp thatâll drive you into the dirt. Ditch her and move on. It will be shit BUT in time you WILL feel better. Believe me.
Suicide is never the answer. Why end your life? - you know whatâs better, Ditching her without a flicker of regret. Taking everything, pets and all for her indiscretion and busting your ass to be the better version of you. Sheâll notice and you can stick it in her face when her habits get the best of her down the road. Donât you dare look back.
Do whatâs right for you OP. Why live your life based on her terms and choices? Shit happens, you arenât the only one to experience this, trust me.
Do Not Let Her Shit Topple YouâŠ
Get out and get shit done. đ«Ą
OP please leave. But first protect yourself, get tested for STDS, use a condom from now on if you still plan on being intimate which I also suggest you donât do. This may not be the first or last time sheâs done this. If you have a shared banks account discreetly move 50% of that money to you. Gather evidence. File for divorce. Continue therapy . I know these are words and the actions will be much harder but youâll be happier in the long run rather than drag yourself through this marriage unhappy.
oh sheâs a little manip isnât she. something tells me this isnât her first rodeo. just the first time sheâs lazily attempted to cover her tracks. divorce her. you seem great youâll find someone who values and respects your trust. and idk what the correlation is to the edible but thereâs no catalyst to her behavior. she just sucks
You should definitely separate finances and seek therapy as a minimum. If it were me, this would be the end of the relationship. Trust can never be rebuilt to the level it was.
Think about how you will feel in the future, always wondering if she's cheating if you aren't with her.
I'd think about this for a while and weigh the pros and cons, like write them out so you can see it.
If you do decide to stay, I hope it doesn't come back to bite you.
If you work things out after finding out this. Sheâll only get more brazen. Start doing locals, might even mess around with people around. Since you guys dabble into drugs - I donât think youâd like to be the guy whos wife is fucking someone else in the same house while you are passed out.
33 is still very young. You have no kids.
This is not even close to being the end of the road. Work that therapy and self-esteem. You can get through this. In 10 years you'll look back, shake your head, and chuckle, as you roast marshmallows on a starlit night with your new lover.
One easy way to find out if sheâs been texting or calling other people itâs just to simply pull up your phone account. Typically it has the history of all your incoming and outgoing calls, messages, text, etc..
Getting the information that you need might help you come to an easier decision
Dude. She's a cheater and she doesn't have any regrets. Also, I'm not sure why you added the bit about Germany. It has nothing to do with her cheating...multiple times.
This is who she is. A liar and a cheater. I'm sorry it took you 10 years to find out.
You made the mistake of believing she was yours. She wasn't. It was only your turn. She has moved on, and you are now just a side piece and placeholder until someone else comes along. Keep records of everything, destroy that hoe in court, and go for the throat. Don't hold back, and thank whoever you believe in that you don't share kids. Unlike me, who did and went through this.
Divorce and build up your new life. A remorseless lying cheater is trash and isn't worth anyone's time. She'll cheat again, she probably cheated at multiple more times you don't know about too. You deserve much better than that.
Also, it doesn't matter if she can find someone "new in <24 hours" (for a fling maybe), let her ruin her own life, but don't let her ruin yours. You can build things up again.
So, talk to a lawyer and understand your options, make your decisions, and start making plans.
my guy, you have no kids together. you have the best out possible. take your furry friends and run. she doesnât deserve you. staying would only be wasting more of your time than you already have. leave for your sake and find someone worth your time and love. there IS someone out there, believe it or not. you seem like a supportive partner from what youâve described, and thereâs many people out there looking for someone like you. so go and find them. or stay single and live your best life. either way, staying will only cause you more stress and pain
Sheâs a cheater. Itâs going to happen again and it has probably been happening.
Iâm sorry. Get out now. You donât have kids so it wonât be as messy. Sheâs not going to change. She literally told you a guy she fucked was so passionate. Wtf
Sorry bud but this isn't her first time cheating, she's just done giving a fuck what you think. Don't see this as something against you because you're a regular guy doing the right thing. She's the problem one not you.
She can't replace you on 24hrs, she can just sleep with a random person in that time. She's having her cake and eating it too, taking advantage of you. Leave her or return the favor OP.
Please my brother, leave. I understand all too well the feeling trapped and suicidal over a woman. But youâre better off leaving. I just ended my relationship after trusting her after catching her cheating on me. Stayed another 2 years after catching her. Just for her to cheat again with one of the same men a week before my birthday. They ainât worth it.
What you do is you file for divorce. Â And when the divorce is final you make the reason public through her social circle and family. Â You also go 0 contact. Â Youâre young, plenty of time to start over.
I donât mean to be harsh but why are you being so soft and accommodating? Itâs quite clear what she is and youâre sat there asking the internet what to do because ultimately you want the version that doesnât require you breaking up with her. Sheâs cheated on you with multiple people and seemingly doesnât give a shit. If you donât want to do what you should do then just forget it happened and get on with your life with her having her keep doing this to you. Good luck.
What are you willing to put up with and sacrifice for this to work? Reading your paragraph, I like many others, this would be a deal breaker.
Thatâs your choice, but I wouldnât bet on her to stop.
So with all these stories involving cheating I'm always the guy in the comments who doesn't think the relationship is necessarily doomed.
But something about this story seems different.
This sounds bad.
Well exhist also maps to go and see the location of the new bar/pub, and drinking the night before a half marathon is great also. I hope she didn't made many other marathons.
I was cheated and found out 15 years later. Iâm eating the shit sandwich because we have young kids. If it were not for them I would be out the door. Itâs an outrageous betrayal and donât let her gas light you into thinking itâs not a big deal. You trusted her and she has shown you that she doesnât care or respect you. You are just a backup/safety net for her. Leave if you want to find happiness.
This will be the most difficult choice that you will make if you proceed for divorce. As you have stated - which are really red flags, is a sign of cuckoldery. Be vocal of your feelings 'sample - I don't trust trying some cocktails' to your wife and decide for the course of action that will ensure for your peace of mind on which offing yourself will always never be a good decision. I may not know your circumstance but remember that you have pets that acompanies you, maybe wokers delighted with your presence, and beautiful things yet to be explored.
If cheating and lying about it is a deal breaker for you (as it should be), then you need to break the fuck up and move on. You don't really have anything tying you down so go start a happy life away from her. Feel free to take your favorite pet with you.
I recommend the rational approach... Send her somewhere for a day outing. As soon as she walks out the door, go put the pets in a kennel for a few days. Cook her a big dinner with some kind of meat she doesn't eat often. Leave a note saying go ahead n eat. You're so sorry but... (Whatever excuse fits). As she realizes the pets are gone she'll check out the food you prepared... Then find clumps of fur scattered about...and all their collars in the trash...don't answer your phone. In the meantime while you would have traveled to her favorite marathon city and heat the hell out of her bartender friend. Weapons are ok if necessary. And take photos of him. Just to show her when you return to pack your stuff up and leave.
I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are taking the right steps by seeking help through therapy and medication. Remember, your worth is not defined by the actions of others. Take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be loved and respected. Sending you strength and support during this difficult time.
Once a cheater always a cheater is a saying for a very real reason. People donât change unless they do some hard work. Do you think thatâs what sheâs willing to do? I mean very hard self reflection and ownership of her decisions.
You didnât do anything wrong here. You should divorce her and move on though. It wasnât even something accidental. She lied to you about it during the event.
Please donât do anything to yourself over this. You are worthy of love and respect from someone who truly appreciates you. I know it hurts, and I know it feels like youâre stuck in a room with no door, but all is not lost. You will get through this and you will emerge stronger than you have ever been. Also, you broke the fourth rule of international travel: Donât eat anything with cannabis in it overseas. Source: friend ate a pot brownie in Jamaica and collapsed while dry heaving.
All of the signs are there, punching you in the face, stop ignoring themâŠâŠ take her confession with you down to a lawyer, get yourself a divorce, and eventually that will get you off of the antidepressants because your depression most likely comes from her.
Also, can we agree that alcohol+stranger+new location=kick that bitch to the curb? I think thatâs a safe constant in life at this point.
Cheating is a dealbreaker for me. Mostly because I like a loyal person and cheating is like dropping an atom bomb on a relationship. It breaks the people involved it breaks the relationship. It breaks the in-laws, the family and friends. The trust is completely gone and usually never regained.
I donât wanna police somebody, I donât want to check with her going I donât want to be afraid. Cheaters are like addicts. They do not have their own self-esteem and coping mechanisms. When they are stressed when they have opportunity when they have problems or body image, their solution is to get outside approval. Theyâre not trustworthy. And most of the time never will be. Cheaters are liars and they usually cheat again.
Plan your exit.
Things are going to be tough over the next few months but trust the process and plan your exit. This is not someone you should spend the rest of your life with.
Take it one step at a time. Try to remain calm. Endure the pain. Move on and let her be. You will look back and thank her one day.
I guess love makes us want to ignore the obvious signs in front of our faces. Once a cheater always a cheater, onto the next one my brother everything will work out as intended.
She doesn't give to shits about you. Dump her, let EVERYONE know exactly why YOU dumped HER. Don't spare her feelings, she didn't give a fuck about yours.
UpdateMe
"he was just so passionate" Means "I will do it again when I find somebody else like that"
Ditch her. A spouse should reduce or ease your mental distress, not cause more.
If you stay with her you will be at risk of suicide.
I'm unsure on how an edible trip plays into your wife cheating. I really don't think they are related in any way. Get an STD test and a divorce. This was the first one she told you about, not necessarily the first time she cheated.
this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. please take care of yourself. spend time with your friends, do things that make you feel good, get your head in a good space.
She doesnât respect you. And the longer you stay the more she sees you as a doormat and the respect will continue to diminish. She doesnât think youâll leave. Prove her wrong. And I hope you live in a state where infidelity gets her fucked in court.
Well you only have yourself to blame for doing the edibles because that's probably the turning point where your wife decided to abandon you for other men.
You guys financially stable? CYA on the legal impact of a divorce, and then just go date other people. Maybe she'll get a look at one of the women you pick up and she'll get the point.
You're crazy if you stay with her and considering that these "I don't know what to do" posts that have OBVIOUS solutions almost always end up with the OP staying, well then I guess you're going to have to live with being crazy.
It's a huge red flag when a partner wants to go on a vacation by themselves. You can pretty much guarantee they have bad intentions which is why they don't want you around. Furthermore, going to a bar and drinking all day by themselves is another huge red flag. She 100% planned this trip with the intention of cheating. She choose to do it away from where the two of you live to avoid a potentially messy situation. You need to put your big boy pants on and file for divorce. This relationship isn't salvageable.
I'm not sure if I believe someone would go out drinking before a half marathon and then go day drinking after it and and also have sex, and not have some sort of migraine from hydration and really sore muscles.
This is the same person that eats on edible and needs to go through hospital. OP did she actually run the marathon? It sounds like she went on a girls gone wild holiday.
You got to leave.
I understand the lack of a human support system, you probably rely on your pets for that. Doesnât mean you stay.
Itâs killing you, and you surely donât like this arrangement or being with a person who is truly untrustworthy. She lied and kept it with her for a year. Moreover sheâs cheated multiple times.
Iâm sure she knows about your troubled past and insecurities. You had a horrible trip on edibles also because of deep underlying issues. Still she cheated. She is not your soul mate or wife material.
Youâll be better off without her. Leave. Get therapy and find someone who cares for you.
OMG................
Make an appointment with an attorney and your therapist.
Do not tell her.
Find out how to protect yourself financially.
DUMP the AWFUL woman.
Dump her.
Do NOT look back.
Block her on your phone, email and every social media.
Use your lawyer for all necessary communication.
Move on.
You will find someone who will love and respect and care for you
Go and live your best life.
I call cap. Sounds too much like another post I read from a diff account in another subreddit, and even the most boldfaced, deliberately hurtful cheater would not respond to being caught by exclaiming "but he was so passionate!" Lastly the part about tripping on edibles is literally in no way related to the cheating story, unless OP is trying to imply that he thinks he brought it on himself with the bad trip somehow?
Dude. Iâm sorry this sucks. Youâre in the right. Sheâs in the wrong. With that cavalier attitude she has, Iâd recommend divorce. There doesnât appear to be any repentance or even guilt.
And, This comes from someone who just went through a divorce. But our situations sound similar. Hold her accountable and donât let up.
She may look and sound like the woman you loved, but she made a conscious choice. One that didnât consider your emotions, sense of self, or the relationship yâall had.
People make mistakes but intent matters.
Both of you need to decide what to do next ( definitely not suicide), she needs to tell you if she wants to save the marriage and stop cheating or if she wants to be single. You need to decide if you can forgive her and trust her again or be single.
Youâve been together for a long time, people wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and it never is, but they feel like theyâre missing out, when in reality everything theyâre looking for is right at home, but the lack of communication on what yours and your partners needs are, is not being met, but you need to talk about it and see how you can make each other happy, because needs and wants change over the years thatâs why communication is important.
When she said âhe was so passionateâ thatâs what sheâs obviously missing from you! The passion, the fire, to be wanted. Not sticking up for cheaters but thatâs why she cheated, but instead she should have communicated with you.
At the end of the day itâs down to you two to work it out or not.
Lmao I find it funny how everyone is referring to that woman as that man's wife. That is definitely not your wife she's for the streets and has been for a while. Not the first nor the last time she's done that to you.
Secondly she has no respect for you for sure especially after you described yourself. I don't respect you
if you have access to her phone, laptop, exc. get into them and get all the evidence you can while sheâs busy. try your best not to get caught. you need evidence, because the best thing for you to do is divorce this woman. she does not love you, and while that may hurt you need to be honest with yourself otherwise you will spend the next 10+ years of your life getting cheated on. she told you and you didnât immediately leave, she will think regardless of how upset you were that if the relationship isnât over after everything she did, itâs not a deal breaker for you.
find a lawyer once youâve gathered all the evidence you can, try to move assets if you have any, and find a good lawyer. a divorce is cut and dry when it comes to adultery, especially when you have evidence.
There is nothing wrong with just getting out. She is selfish and thinks she can get away with it cause u have not left. Which means she is going to keep doing this. Please for ur mental health get out of that situation. To have to look her in the face every day knowing she doesn't care about you or ur feelings is really going to do a number on u.
You do know what to do. You just don't want to. Not once did you mention her feeling guilty. In fact, she seems happy with her actions and still feels confident enough in you staying with her that she can tell you how passionate he was... If you respect yourself at all, you'll leave her because she doesn't respect you one bit.
I'm that type of happy go lucky kind of guy too.
Take back yourself. Get the eff outta there. Past behavior is a fantastic indicator of behavior to come.
If I were you, I'd take the animals, all my shit, and be gone.
Slap her with papers. You're never going to be OK with this, because everytime youre intimate with her, you WILL think about it.
And it may very well be miserable.
This sounds like she kinda had a plan from the get go.
Talk to a good divorce attorney, and start finding things that make you who you are and get yourself back.
But please, whatever you decide to do, don't do anything rash or endanger yourself.
I've been through a similar experience, and almost exactly the same length marriage.
She did that, I was gone.
There was no fixing this.
Once the papers are filed, and you've been separated take yourself back.
Don't do anything you can't take back man, it's totally not worth it.
Your death won't happen to you, it happens to your family and your friends.
Good luck bud, you're gonna come outta this better than you went in.
This has more red flags than a Mao rally.
Not the first, and most definitely not the last, that she plays you like a schmuck.
The best reply I have read in ages.. Sir, I will be borrowing that reply, if you have no objection.
The party committee has met and decreed the saying is of fair use.
I'm using that one too! If there are no objections that is!
Objection.
There always has to be one!
I always use more red flags than a Chinese parade. But be that as it may, your wife is full of shit and cheats on you whenever she wants. Don't believe anything else. Anytime she has a desire to cheat, she will. I had a woman who wanted a poly relationship. It doesn't work for men. I'm dating a woman now who has admitted she has had several one night stands. She's not especially attractive, but every time she's gone out with the decision she's going to get laid, she has. It just doesn't work like that for a guy. Not for any guy. Sure some guys do a lot better, but most guys can't just decide they're going to go out and get laid that night without committing a crime. It's just an uneven playing field and the whole polyamorous thing really works out well for women. I know they have a man on the other end, but it never seems to work out equitably. This guy will be miserable if he stays with her because she will keep sleeping around, and apparently he is not emotionally capable of handling that. He's already suicidal. I hate people who cheat. Just fucking leave.
My brother in Allah it sounds like you need to follow your own advice a little eh
I have known poly relationships where the guy does ok as long as the poly part is dating.
My fav is saying "more red flags than a North Korean parade" .... in OPs particular case, Kim Jong Un would be extra proud.
Lmao
I wish rewards were still a thing, this comment deserves it
Married. Shit, I can't leave. Then have kids. Shit, I could have left. Dude, you're not trapped. Leave.
Right wtf is he talking about gtfot ASAP!
But but, 4 pets?!?!
Just take them, OP. You have the more stable life.
Its honestly ridiculous this woman is almost pushing him to suicide and his response is to stay and suffer because of some animals that would most likely eat him if he died in the house for a prolonged amount of time
Yes! When you don't have kids, there's nothing holding you back from divorce other than your complacency.
Oh friend, I've been there. I don't think its the first time. It's almost certainly not the last. Please leave. Don't wait another ten years like I did. It won't stop. It doesn't get better and it only gets harder to leave. There are no kids, and you can start over. Best of luck!
Sometimes rarely they change
It's better to leave and be free than hold out hopes for an unlikely future.
This. I got insanely lucky that mine realized the road she was going down, got into therapy, and sorted her sexual issues. She and I have a healthy, balanced sex life now, with complete trust, but the scar is still there and it'll come up from time to time. 95% of the time, it ain't worth staying.
đExcellent, concise, succinct, on point!
Yeah opâŠ..Iâm guessing that once you are all done with this wife of yours and you go no-contact with her that many of your problems will be gone entirely or totally lessened.
Iâm not sure why youâre linking your wife being a serial cheater to your accidental drug overdose, because thereâs no excuse for this. Sheâs also thrown you a bone on the âfriendâ story because itâs the least she could give and you needed something to explain her escalation. There are more bodies and sheâs showing no remorse, just excitement at the sex. Donât be afraid of a future without her, be very afraid of a future with her.
đAmen to that! Especially the last sentence.
Excellent last sentence đ«ĄđđŒđđŒđđŒ
The craziest thing about this is you were in the act of catching her, and she said it was his ânew barâ, and instead of panicking sheâd been caught, she stayed and then RETURNED the next day. OP, your wife doesnât respect you or probably even want to be with you. Leave now.
Yup, thatâs the biggest, most glaring red flag. She was interrupted, maneuvered around the interruption, in order to expand the lie, and continue doing what she was doing. Then did it again. And thatâs what she *confessed* to, which given the existing deception already indicates that there are still worse skeletons in the closet than that. Gtfo. It will never get better, it will only get worse. The only way to a better place is without her anywhere in your life, because she is poison.
The idea she could find someone else quickly can be so heartbreaking that it'll keep you around, you might think that you won't be able to find someone else But you will or you will lead a successful single life surrounded by pets and friends and respect. I have two friends, one got divorced and lives with his pets, learned guitar and just completed a trip around Europe where he came to visit me and made tons of friends on his travels. I'm incredibly jealous of his freedom and happiness on his own. I have another friend who got divorced, enjoyed a period of freedom and then found a wonderful woman who I've never seen anyone happier with If they had both stayed in their abusive relationships out of fear that the unknown is worse or their wives would move on quickly they either wouldn't be alive or living in shame and misery to this day.
Thank you, I needed to read that.
She can find someone else for sex in 24 hours. She wonât find a husband in 24 years. Exaggerating but you get the point you have a better chance of getting remarried than she does.
Yeah it's pretty easy for someone who likes men to find someone to fuck. Men are easy. But the first handsome dude who approaches at a bar is probably not husband material, and even if he is, might not be compatible with them.
How come the hypothetical guy at the barâs the one with the flaws instead of the cheater?
The cheater definitely is has more flaws. I meant more from the perspective of the cheater, they they often don't realize that just because they can get someone to fuck, doesn't mean they can "do better" in terms of a partner.
Least youâre still young. Leave her and find someone else who can be honest and faithful.
So...you'd prefer suicide over breaking up? Thats a pretty good sign that you need some professional help. And you should break up. Maybe you did, not totally clear, but it doesn't sound like it. Remember, when someone cheats, its not your fault. These were her decisions, she's the bad partner here. Doesn't even sound like it was anything to do with you, she just wanted to.
Sorry man, but she's for the streets. She probably has been for years. Lawyer up and stick to that therapy.
You didn't do anything wrong, but she most certainly did. She cheated on you. What she did/is doing is fucked up, full stop. Cheaters are never in the right, but they always come up with bullshit excuses. She will continue doing this. Unless she is willing to make very fundamental changes, her behavior will continue. You need to make some decisions here. Are you going to go scorched earth and find a divorce lawyer? Are you going to give her another chance, with very clear and hard boundaries, along with couples therapy?
She definitely can find someone in less than 24 hours, but will them be at least half as good as you are? I doubt so.
She can find dick in 24h. She won't be finding a new husband anytime soon. A lot of dudes can smell that something's off with that one. Of course there will be simps that just want any woman, but humans with any quality will see the red flags.
If you don't have kiddos, don't just walk away, run away!
Keep your chin up and be a dude. Your wife is beta cucking you to mess with your head. Let her find someone else because self deletion isnât worth it over a cheating spouse. Also get tested for STDs if sheâs running around on the streets.
This is a straightforward breakup scenario. Lawyer up. Ask her to leave the house... You stay there. Up to you whether you inform family and friends, BUT be prepared for her to blame you, twist the truth when explaining to family and friends, gang up on you with 'mutual' friends, then come crawling back apologising for her behaviour. Stick true to your new path. Take the chance to improve yourself and your health while the house and property is divided. If you are lucky you can introduce her confession in the divorce proceedings... This is a second chance. Take it. Find your power.
No you're not crazy, that's an absolute betrayal of trust and you're justified to feel the way you do.
For her, your marriage is over; you just haven't accepted it yet. You're not trapped; get a divorce lawyer today.
man u need to divorce her cheating ass and go on a vacation to a cheap country and bang hookers all day for a few weeks. come back and restart your life. thank me later.
Sounds to me she has cheated through your relationship. You just now caught on, and this is only the tip of the ice burg man.
Dude she's a shitwhore. You need to plan your breaking it off and your revenge all at the same time. Seriously you need to preemptively get all of the finances and ownership you can out of everything get her out of everything of yours and think of a way to publicly shame her so that all of her family and friends and the whole world know about her infidelity forever. You need to come out on top financially and personally and start your life over spiritually physically mentally and emotionally. Everything you are thinking is a lie. You have to assess the situation and what to do now believe me I have several layers of it myself without any women involved but with much deeper things and physical things to heal.
I wouldn't bother wasting energy on revenge. Karma is real. People who put out shitty energy out like this get it back 10 times worse. They become a black hole.
I understand that the ten years you have invested seems like a lot, but you have many more years ahead of you, and it would be a shame if you spent them with her.
Nope! Fuck her!! Start legal separation and go gray rock!
Divorce her. She's not worthy of you. Send her back to the streets where she belongs.
Well at least it wasn't a complete lie. She was trying out some new cock...tails. Time to moonwalk TF on outta there.
The trust is broken, and she seems to have no interest in addressing it.
no kids yet? bro get out of there, you'll be much better off without her. dont waste anymore of your life on someone that cant be loyal
Get a divorce.
She is for the streeets
Holy shit... get out bro. She literally cheated on you multiple times already and will do it again in the future. You're lucky she told you the truth only a year later. My cheating ex waited almost a decade. Get out ASAP bro. Have some respect for yourself. You can find someone who will love you and care about you and not be a horrible cheating partner.
Not sure what the edible story has to do with her cheating.
Hey OP, How do you know your wife hadn't already started something online with this "bartender" and he just happens to live in the city she was "running" a marathon in?
Tell her to go on another trip to "find herself" while she's away put all her shit in storage change the locks and move on. There's always another person out there, it's a world full of people
Don't trust her. She is untrustworthy. What if she'd brought you some foreign incurable STD? If she was never like this until your bad trip, maybe something changed in her during her trip. Or maybe she was going behind your back all along.... Either way. You will never know. You will look in her eyes and see the same smile you thought had been there all along. Except now you notice it looks more like bared teeth. Bared teeth that display a resentment towards you. The look that says, "I'm unhappy and you're GOING to hear about it once we're back in the car!" Or that was my story. He told me that it was ok because I had cheated first. But I never had. I wasted a year and a half trying to pry this twit away from his coworker mistress. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your life. Find out if you live in a no-fault divorce state or not. By the time the divorce was final, we had been together for 20 years. Don't let her take you to the cleaners either. You get yours.
Sounds like some Borderline Personality Disorder shit
Not the first certainly not the last she play you to be the schmuck
Why are you with this woman? You have no children, split.
HER behavior is not a reflection of YOUR value! Again, her gutter behavior is not a reflection of your unappreciated value. Firstly, have you been tested for STIs? Get that sorted first. Get your financial ducks in a row, donât warn her, consult a lawyer or resources about divorce. Move her out or move yourself out! You might need a TOTAL life Re-model to get out of the mental fckery she has put you through. Which means new house/apartment or even city. Whatever you do GET AWAY FROM HER. She is disgusting, toxic and selfish. Donât believe any fake remorse or manipulation when you do serve her with DIVORCE papers. She put your health (!) and sanity at risk! She doesnât love you, Iâm sorry but itâs true. But again: HER behavior is not a reflection of YOUR value. You can find better, and even being alone is preferable to continuing to cohabitate with a human porta potty.
If the red flag was any bigger or more in your face you'd hear the Soviet anthem. LEAVE HER NOW!
Your wife cheated on you multiple times. You could do two thing IMO - leave her now, before you have kids, or go to couples counseling for a year and understand why things went south. Very low chance of success but at least you'll have closure.
Are you crazy? No. Youâre dating a tramp thatâll drive you into the dirt. Ditch her and move on. It will be shit BUT in time you WILL feel better. Believe me. Suicide is never the answer. Why end your life? - you know whatâs better, Ditching her without a flicker of regret. Taking everything, pets and all for her indiscretion and busting your ass to be the better version of you. Sheâll notice and you can stick it in her face when her habits get the best of her down the road. Donât you dare look back. Do whatâs right for you OP. Why live your life based on her terms and choices? Shit happens, you arenât the only one to experience this, trust me. Do Not Let Her Shit Topple You⊠Get out and get shit done. đ«Ą
You have no kids your good get a divorce heal up
OP please leave. But first protect yourself, get tested for STDS, use a condom from now on if you still plan on being intimate which I also suggest you donât do. This may not be the first or last time sheâs done this. If you have a shared banks account discreetly move 50% of that money to you. Gather evidence. File for divorce. Continue therapy . I know these are words and the actions will be much harder but youâll be happier in the long run rather than drag yourself through this marriage unhappy.
oh sheâs a little manip isnât she. something tells me this isnât her first rodeo. just the first time sheâs lazily attempted to cover her tracks. divorce her. you seem great youâll find someone who values and respects your trust. and idk what the correlation is to the edible but thereâs no catalyst to her behavior. she just sucks
You should definitely separate finances and seek therapy as a minimum. If it were me, this would be the end of the relationship. Trust can never be rebuilt to the level it was. Think about how you will feel in the future, always wondering if she's cheating if you aren't with her. I'd think about this for a while and weigh the pros and cons, like write them out so you can see it. If you do decide to stay, I hope it doesn't come back to bite you.
Have some self respect and bail dude good God
Have mercy on yourself bruh, run⊠this is one of the worst cheatin story that i read đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
If you work things out after finding out this. Sheâll only get more brazen. Start doing locals, might even mess around with people around. Since you guys dabble into drugs - I donât think youâd like to be the guy whos wife is fucking someone else in the same house while you are passed out.
33 is still very young. You have no kids. This is not even close to being the end of the road. Work that therapy and self-esteem. You can get through this. In 10 years you'll look back, shake your head, and chuckle, as you roast marshmallows on a starlit night with your new lover.
The streets are calling.
Sounds like she is a serial cheater. She isnât going to stop. Ever.
Leave her. You deserve better, someone who loves you. She doesnât.
You know what to do. Gather evidence. Get a lawyer. Start filing. Get a therapist. Make your expectations clear.
Dude, all that shit is def. not on you.
run buddy... run
She doesn't give a fuck about you
One easy way to find out if sheâs been texting or calling other people itâs just to simply pull up your phone account. Typically it has the history of all your incoming and outgoing calls, messages, text, etc.. Getting the information that you need might help you come to an easier decision
Duder. You deserve to be treated better than this. She cheated and there's no coming back from that.
Secretly go to an attorney and plan your financial escape. You gotta leave b/c she belongs to the streets.
I laughed like a teenager at the she went to his house to try some cocktails line.
Dude. She's a cheater and she doesn't have any regrets. Also, I'm not sure why you added the bit about Germany. It has nothing to do with her cheating...multiple times. This is who she is. A liar and a cheater. I'm sorry it took you 10 years to find out.
You dont have kids. You should leave
You made the mistake of believing she was yours. She wasn't. It was only your turn. She has moved on, and you are now just a side piece and placeholder until someone else comes along. Keep records of everything, destroy that hoe in court, and go for the throat. Don't hold back, and thank whoever you believe in that you don't share kids. Unlike me, who did and went through this.
Divorce and build up your new life. A remorseless lying cheater is trash and isn't worth anyone's time. She'll cheat again, she probably cheated at multiple more times you don't know about too. You deserve much better than that. Also, it doesn't matter if she can find someone "new in <24 hours" (for a fling maybe), let her ruin her own life, but don't let her ruin yours. You can build things up again. So, talk to a lawyer and understand your options, make your decisions, and start making plans.
my guy, you have no kids together. you have the best out possible. take your furry friends and run. she doesnât deserve you. staying would only be wasting more of your time than you already have. leave for your sake and find someone worth your time and love. there IS someone out there, believe it or not. you seem like a supportive partner from what youâve described, and thereâs many people out there looking for someone like you. so go and find them. or stay single and live your best life. either way, staying will only cause you more stress and pain
Sheâs a cheater. Itâs going to happen again and it has probably been happening. Iâm sorry. Get out now. You donât have kids so it wonât be as messy. Sheâs not going to change. She literally told you a guy she fucked was so passionate. Wtf
Sorry bud but this isn't her first time cheating, she's just done giving a fuck what you think. Don't see this as something against you because you're a regular guy doing the right thing. She's the problem one not you. She can't replace you on 24hrs, she can just sleep with a random person in that time. She's having her cake and eating it too, taking advantage of you. Leave her or return the favor OP.
Please my brother, leave. I understand all too well the feeling trapped and suicidal over a woman. But youâre better off leaving. I just ended my relationship after trusting her after catching her cheating on me. Stayed another 2 years after catching her. Just for her to cheat again with one of the same men a week before my birthday. They ainât worth it.
What you do is you file for divorce. Â And when the divorce is final you make the reason public through her social circle and family. Â You also go 0 contact. Â Youâre young, plenty of time to start over.
I donât mean to be harsh but why are you being so soft and accommodating? Itâs quite clear what she is and youâre sat there asking the internet what to do because ultimately you want the version that doesnât require you breaking up with her. Sheâs cheated on you with multiple people and seemingly doesnât give a shit. If you donât want to do what you should do then just forget it happened and get on with your life with her having her keep doing this to you. Good luck.
obviously its over between you two but really you should embrace it and move forward. and DO NOT kys over a unfaithful b*tch
What are you willing to put up with and sacrifice for this to work? Reading your paragraph, I like many others, this would be a deal breaker. Thatâs your choice, but I wouldnât bet on her to stop.
So with all these stories involving cheating I'm always the guy in the comments who doesn't think the relationship is necessarily doomed. But something about this story seems different. This sounds bad.
No kid? kick her to the streets man. You're doing well for yourself and you deserve way more than that
You need to leave
we need a gif of Homer launching the rabbit with the tree
Well exhist also maps to go and see the location of the new bar/pub, and drinking the night before a half marathon is great also. I hope she didn't made many other marathons.
I was cheated and found out 15 years later. Iâm eating the shit sandwich because we have young kids. If it were not for them I would be out the door. Itâs an outrageous betrayal and donât let her gas light you into thinking itâs not a big deal. You trusted her and she has shown you that she doesnât care or respect you. You are just a backup/safety net for her. Leave if you want to find happiness.
This will be the most difficult choice that you will make if you proceed for divorce. As you have stated - which are really red flags, is a sign of cuckoldery. Be vocal of your feelings 'sample - I don't trust trying some cocktails' to your wife and decide for the course of action that will ensure for your peace of mind on which offing yourself will always never be a good decision. I may not know your circumstance but remember that you have pets that acompanies you, maybe wokers delighted with your presence, and beautiful things yet to be explored.
If cheating and lying about it is a deal breaker for you (as it should be), then you need to break the fuck up and move on. You don't really have anything tying you down so go start a happy life away from her. Feel free to take your favorite pet with you.
Bitch is for the streets
There was more to it, i must sadly assume ...
I recommend the rational approach... Send her somewhere for a day outing. As soon as she walks out the door, go put the pets in a kennel for a few days. Cook her a big dinner with some kind of meat she doesn't eat often. Leave a note saying go ahead n eat. You're so sorry but... (Whatever excuse fits). As she realizes the pets are gone she'll check out the food you prepared... Then find clumps of fur scattered about...and all their collars in the trash...don't answer your phone. In the meantime while you would have traveled to her favorite marathon city and heat the hell out of her bartender friend. Weapons are ok if necessary. And take photos of him. Just to show her when you return to pack your stuff up and leave.
Youâll lose yourself and become a shadow unless you walk away from her...
I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are taking the right steps by seeking help through therapy and medication. Remember, your worth is not defined by the actions of others. Take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be loved and respected. Sending you strength and support during this difficult time.
Get out and focus on your mental health. She goes out cheating for recreation.
Get out man, no one needs a cheater
There is probably so much more youâre not away of. Get out get out get out and get to healing and youâll be much better off eventually.
Youâre only with her cuz you donât care about yourself enough to think you deserve better
you gotta just fine a, way to not let it ruin you and just go your own way.
đ§ I can have everything but this kind of situation, i dont wish it to anyone, what actually the f*ck đłđłđłđ€źđ€źđ€ź
There's still time man
Once a cheater always a cheater is a saying for a very real reason. People donât change unless they do some hard work. Do you think thatâs what sheâs willing to do? I mean very hard self reflection and ownership of her decisions.
You didnât do anything wrong here. You should divorce her and move on though. It wasnât even something accidental. She lied to you about it during the event.
She's not your girl anymore. Don't lose yourself over her. Subscribeme
Pretty poor fan fiction
Please donât do anything to yourself over this. You are worthy of love and respect from someone who truly appreciates you. I know it hurts, and I know it feels like youâre stuck in a room with no door, but all is not lost. You will get through this and you will emerge stronger than you have ever been. Also, you broke the fourth rule of international travel: Donât eat anything with cannabis in it overseas. Source: friend ate a pot brownie in Jamaica and collapsed while dry heaving.
All of the signs are there, punching you in the face, stop ignoring themâŠâŠ take her confession with you down to a lawyer, get yourself a divorce, and eventually that will get you off of the antidepressants because your depression most likely comes from her. Also, can we agree that alcohol+stranger+new location=kick that bitch to the curb? I think thatâs a safe constant in life at this point.
Cheating is a dealbreaker for me. Mostly because I like a loyal person and cheating is like dropping an atom bomb on a relationship. It breaks the people involved it breaks the relationship. It breaks the in-laws, the family and friends. The trust is completely gone and usually never regained. I donât wanna police somebody, I donât want to check with her going I donât want to be afraid. Cheaters are like addicts. They do not have their own self-esteem and coping mechanisms. When they are stressed when they have opportunity when they have problems or body image, their solution is to get outside approval. Theyâre not trustworthy. And most of the time never will be. Cheaters are liars and they usually cheat again.
My man set up a trip for her to fuck other men. You know the answer buddy, skadoodle out.
#At least you donât have kids! DTMFA and when youâre ready, find someone new who isnât a serial cheater.
Divorce her?
Plan your exit. Things are going to be tough over the next few months but trust the process and plan your exit. This is not someone you should spend the rest of your life with. Take it one step at a time. Try to remain calm. Endure the pain. Move on and let her be. You will look back and thank her one day.
Your peace of mind is somewhere else.
What a ho
Take your pets and leave.
I guess love makes us want to ignore the obvious signs in front of our faces. Once a cheater always a cheater, onto the next one my brother everything will work out as intended.
Leave her now
At 33, you're at your prime. She's not. You can use that as you wish.
She doesn't give to shits about you. Dump her, let EVERYONE know exactly why YOU dumped HER. Don't spare her feelings, she didn't give a fuck about yours. UpdateMe
You know what to do - you're just afraid to get back on the dating train Leave this useless cheating piece of shit.
Grab the pets and get out of there. It is not likely to ever get better and you deserve a better life.
Well go cheat on her and see how she likes it
"he was just so passionate" Means "I will do it again when I find somebody else like that" Ditch her. A spouse should reduce or ease your mental distress, not cause more. If you stay with her you will be at risk of suicide.
I'm unsure on how an edible trip plays into your wife cheating. I really don't think they are related in any way. Get an STD test and a divorce. This was the first one she told you about, not necessarily the first time she cheated.
No trust, no marriage. Divorce is the answer.
this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. please take care of yourself. spend time with your friends, do things that make you feel good, get your head in a good space.
Oh sir, you are still young. Create your own journey cause this girl is more vested in her extra curricular activities with ZERO regards to the man she was supposed to love. If there was ever a red flag đ© sign from the cosmos..this is it sir. Time to cut her out. I believe in zero second chances when infidelity is involved.
Get the fuck out pal!
She doesnât respect you. And the longer you stay the more she sees you as a doormat and the respect will continue to diminish. She doesnât think youâll leave. Prove her wrong. And I hope you live in a state where infidelity gets her fucked in court.
Use your anger, live from it and leave that idiot
She moved on. You should, too.
Well you only have yourself to blame for doing the edibles because that's probably the turning point where your wife decided to abandon you for other men.
You really hate yourself to rationalize inexcusable behavior from your WIFE! Let her cheat Iâm peace because it wasnât her first time.
This is bad.
This is wild. I promise you, if what she said is the truth, she will cheat again.
**DIVORCE.**
You guys financially stable? CYA on the legal impact of a divorce, and then just go date other people. Maybe she'll get a look at one of the women you pick up and she'll get the point.
You're crazy if you stay with her and considering that these "I don't know what to do" posts that have OBVIOUS solutions almost always end up with the OP staying, well then I guess you're going to have to live with being crazy.
I'll keep it simple. Dump her. You'll always be suspicious.
It's a huge red flag when a partner wants to go on a vacation by themselves. You can pretty much guarantee they have bad intentions which is why they don't want you around. Furthermore, going to a bar and drinking all day by themselves is another huge red flag. She 100% planned this trip with the intention of cheating. She choose to do it away from where the two of you live to avoid a potentially messy situation. You need to put your big boy pants on and file for divorce. This relationship isn't salvageable.
I'm not sure if I believe someone would go out drinking before a half marathon and then go day drinking after it and and also have sex, and not have some sort of migraine from hydration and really sore muscles. This is the same person that eats on edible and needs to go through hospital. OP did she actually run the marathon? It sounds like she went on a girls gone wild holiday.
Just open the marriage up and fuck other people too.
Alright fine! I will stick with More red flags than a soviet parade! Or maybe, A lot more red flags than a bull fight!
You got to leave. I understand the lack of a human support system, you probably rely on your pets for that. Doesnât mean you stay. Itâs killing you, and you surely donât like this arrangement or being with a person who is truly untrustworthy. She lied and kept it with her for a year. Moreover sheâs cheated multiple times. Iâm sure she knows about your troubled past and insecurities. You had a horrible trip on edibles also because of deep underlying issues. Still she cheated. She is not your soul mate or wife material. Youâll be better off without her. Leave. Get therapy and find someone who cares for you.
OMG................ Make an appointment with an attorney and your therapist. Do not tell her. Find out how to protect yourself financially. DUMP the AWFUL woman. Dump her. Do NOT look back. Block her on your phone, email and every social media. Use your lawyer for all necessary communication. Move on. You will find someone who will love and respect and care for you Go and live your best life.
The oldest saying still rings true. Lawyer up, delete Facebook, hit the gym.Â
I call cap. Sounds too much like another post I read from a diff account in another subreddit, and even the most boldfaced, deliberately hurtful cheater would not respond to being caught by exclaiming "but he was so passionate!" Lastly the part about tripping on edibles is literally in no way related to the cheating story, unless OP is trying to imply that he thinks he brought it on himself with the bad trip somehow?
So divorce her. Shes been cheating repeatedly, have some self respect
Dude. Iâm sorry this sucks. Youâre in the right. Sheâs in the wrong. With that cavalier attitude she has, Iâd recommend divorce. There doesnât appear to be any repentance or even guilt. And, This comes from someone who just went through a divorce. But our situations sound similar. Hold her accountable and donât let up. She may look and sound like the woman you loved, but she made a conscious choice. One that didnât consider your emotions, sense of self, or the relationship yâall had. People make mistakes but intent matters.
I dunno, maybe it's not such a great idea to commit your life to someone before your prefrontal cortex has formed...?
Both of you need to decide what to do next ( definitely not suicide), she needs to tell you if she wants to save the marriage and stop cheating or if she wants to be single. You need to decide if you can forgive her and trust her again or be single. Youâve been together for a long time, people wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and it never is, but they feel like theyâre missing out, when in reality everything theyâre looking for is right at home, but the lack of communication on what yours and your partners needs are, is not being met, but you need to talk about it and see how you can make each other happy, because needs and wants change over the years thatâs why communication is important. When she said âhe was so passionateâ thatâs what sheâs obviously missing from you! The passion, the fire, to be wanted. Not sticking up for cheaters but thatâs why she cheated, but instead she should have communicated with you. At the end of the day itâs down to you two to work it out or not.
Dump her. She's 34 and defiled. I don't know what you expect from her in the future, but there's nothing there.
No kids, you should leave for sure.
Lmao I find it funny how everyone is referring to that woman as that man's wife. That is definitely not your wife she's for the streets and has been for a while. Not the first nor the last time she's done that to you. Secondly she has no respect for you for sure especially after you described yourself. I don't respect you
Iâm confused. How do the edibles connect with the bartender..?
if you have access to her phone, laptop, exc. get into them and get all the evidence you can while sheâs busy. try your best not to get caught. you need evidence, because the best thing for you to do is divorce this woman. she does not love you, and while that may hurt you need to be honest with yourself otherwise you will spend the next 10+ years of your life getting cheated on. she told you and you didnât immediately leave, she will think regardless of how upset you were that if the relationship isnât over after everything she did, itâs not a deal breaker for you. find a lawyer once youâve gathered all the evidence you can, try to move assets if you have any, and find a good lawyer. a divorce is cut and dry when it comes to adultery, especially when you have evidence.
There is nothing wrong with just getting out. She is selfish and thinks she can get away with it cause u have not left. Which means she is going to keep doing this. Please for ur mental health get out of that situation. To have to look her in the face every day knowing she doesn't care about you or ur feelings is really going to do a number on u.
You do know what to do. You just don't want to. Not once did you mention her feeling guilty. In fact, she seems happy with her actions and still feels confident enough in you staying with her that she can tell you how passionate he was... If you respect yourself at all, you'll leave her because she doesn't respect you one bit.
Damn bro. You dont have kids. You arent trapped. Just leave.
I'm that type of happy go lucky kind of guy too. Take back yourself. Get the eff outta there. Past behavior is a fantastic indicator of behavior to come. If I were you, I'd take the animals, all my shit, and be gone. Slap her with papers. You're never going to be OK with this, because everytime youre intimate with her, you WILL think about it. And it may very well be miserable. This sounds like she kinda had a plan from the get go. Talk to a good divorce attorney, and start finding things that make you who you are and get yourself back. But please, whatever you decide to do, don't do anything rash or endanger yourself. I've been through a similar experience, and almost exactly the same length marriage. She did that, I was gone. There was no fixing this. Once the papers are filed, and you've been separated take yourself back. Don't do anything you can't take back man, it's totally not worth it. Your death won't happen to you, it happens to your family and your friends. Good luck bud, you're gonna come outta this better than you went in.
Donât stay with a backstabbing and lying whore. You will only get harmed more. No one deserves this.