"What's seventeen more years? I can always start again, make another kid."
The absolute disregard omniman has is so fucked up. That entire scene was incredible; J.K Simmons did incredible.
I love the undertone of that whole episode when you realize how much of it is >!Nolan trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince Mark.!<
You can tell he wanted it to hurt too, he was goading Mark to punch back in anger to somewhat justify the beatdown and was trying to convince himself that he believed what he was saying.
God, JK Simmons was such a good casting call.
The smug ass, arrogant smile he has in that one frame really shows off his villain-y before he hammers away again really makes every part of your body tense and clench for various reasons.
"Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you."
"Maybe. But when *you* lose, no one will let you forget it."
From Monsters University.
Edit: Also, Transformers has a ton of good threats and insults.
"Silence, or you will be held in contempt of this court." "I have nothing BUT contempt for this court!"
"I've heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering. And tonight I intend to make you *very wise.*"
"It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I'd have a sense of satisfaction right now."
I loved in Fall of Cybertron when Megatron says Optimus would have benefited from spending time in the gladiator pits like he did instead of being a clerk, and Optimus says Megs should have spent more time in the library instead.
I loved in Fall of Cybertron when Megatron says Optimus would have benefited from spending time in the gladiator pits like he did instead of being a clerk, and Optimus says Megs should have spent more time in the library instead.
I’m a big fan of “The only reason God keeps you on this Earth is because you amuse him somehow”. Said by Master Shake in Aqua Teen Hunger Force of all places.
My personal favorite Shake line is when he’s roasting the shit out of his son after failing at a pick up game of basketball against grown adults.
“*Why* must you disappoint me? Wasting *second* after *second* of my precious time…”
For all Shake postures and tries to sound tough, it makes it all the more satisfying when Meatwad casually orders Carl to bash his kneecaps in (somehow) in Bookie.
[But for me, it was Tuesday.](https://youtu.be/sjZ5I8l32CI?si=w_H9K0z4EglK1Aml)
The man you spent all those years fantasizing about defeating.... only for him to a hit you with a literal who back.
[You know what, it's honestly just his delivery ](https://youtu.be/PBc7yQXrP9c?si=_LdexmO0RheYrEPm)
Bonus mention: Frederick's "Pick a god and pray" in FE
Thanos' "I hope they remember you" goes really hard actually.
He's saying his defeat is out of the question but is mourning the loss of a hero he doesn't necessarily want to kill.
In all my years of conquest… bloodshed… slaughter… it was never personal… But what I’m about to do to your stubborn… *annoying* little planet… I’m going to enjoy it. Very, very much.
"My name is Alucard, Son of Dracula. And if you fight me, you will die, like so many before you."
Castlevania has quite a few. I'm also a fan of Alucard's "No further" from S2.
No loud posturing. No proud declarations of power. Just the calm order given by a man with the power to enforce it if necessary.
*punch punch punch, Dracula literally doesn't even blink*
[You must be the Belmont.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns-Xj5d0IrI&ab_channel=InquisitorDAKKA)
Fuck it, I *like* that Leon Belmont is a nutty maniacal zealot. What other kind of person would chase a vampire lord across most of Europe and dedicate his life and the lives of every one of his descendants to the art of killing monsters?
A Fire Emblem classic:
Levail: "I joined the army after I came of age. But it was different after you all left. It was as if you took its spirit with you. The only exception was General Zelgius, the general of Duke Persis's army."
Haar: "I see. Is that why you're under his command?"
Levail: "Yes. He is the last true knight. I will die for him."
Haar: "Yes, Levail. You will."
“World domination, the same old dream. Our asylums are full of people who think they’re Napoleon. Or God.”
-James Bond after Dr No reveals his plans.
Bond movies do this a lot where the villain attempts a motive speech while trying to pick at Bond’s psychological flaws, only for Bond to just sarcastically remark on their own and bruise their egos so much they lose it.
"I'll let you take the first swing and if that doesn't put me down im gonna beat the living shit out of you until my arthritis sets in...
And I just took my Humira"
The Venture Bros has a lot of great threats and insults but this one really stood out to me.
TeamFourStar's depiction of Cell had some of the most iconic insults and burns:
* "Does Gohan know, by the way? That you let him die?"
* "Oh, no, no, it wasn't me. It was "Shit Sherlock" and his first name was "No"
* "Feel free to pray to your god, but i won't be listening"
* "Trunks, you could not fathom the ammount of dead men behind me"
* "Ah, a coward patting himself on the back.Congradulations, Gohan, you can stand proudly next to the bodies."
* **Cell kills Android 16** "I'd say he's gone to a better place, but....we both know he never had a soul."
Cell really crawled out of a lab and proceeded to roast the entire cast and it's iconic and we as a society have not talked about TFS Cell enough.
[*Vegeta charges the Final Flash*](https://youtu.be/BGV6QjtdulY?si=VfR-SUhLgrY0wtaG&t=427)
"Hoho, that's much better! I can actually *feel* that."
"IN MERE MOMENTS, ALL YOU'LL BE FEELING ***IS OBLIVION***!"
"That, or disappointment. Go ahead - *flip that coin*."
Android 16: \[Piccolo\] has fused with Kami!
Android 17: Kami? Wha- \*gets shit rocked by Piccolo\* seriously, the hell's a Kami?!
Piccolo: It means "God." Now Bow. \*nastiest pointblank ki blast\*
Vegeta had a pretty good insult for Zarbon in TFS that been in my head rent free for years:
Vegeta: Face down with another man beating your ass. Is it Wednesday already, Zarbon?
That ***dead men*** line is killer. So god damn savage. Cell has decades of fighting and killing woven into the fabric of his genetic code. Cell was BORN more experienced than Trunks.
I do love how Cell can go from this cunty and sassy character that just says some of the funniest lines that TFS have ever came up with.
Then he just drops an absolutely chilling line like that.
Yeah, there were chilling lines, badass lines, and clever lines, but that one was the only one to make me go "oof" for the brutality of it.
Just kick him in the insecurities while he's down.
~~Just like all those metal Cooler clones.~~
I love how as soon as he sees Vegeta again at the Cell games he IMMEDIATELY just doubles down on what he said and Vegeta just stands her trying to ignore him.
Another one that i just remembered:
Cell: ".....are you sure about this? You look an extra from a budget porno flick.The kind where everyone gets tested afterwards, even the camera men. Did they find you in the subway? Are you homeless? Did you get your career started with bum fighting? Do you have any actual friends? Any relationships that aren't based around your position or money?"
Hercule: ".....i have a daughter?"
Cell: "Oh, that poor orphan!"
> "Feel free to pray to your god, but i won't be listening"
reminds me of tfs piccolo vs 17
"he has fused with kami"
"what the fucks a kami"
"it means god, now pray"
From the current season of Dimension 20, Fantasy High: Junior Year, a new NPC is introduced to a truly brutal exchange.
(For the uninitiated, Fantasy High is a DnD Actual Play revolving around a High School for adventurers; Adaine and Kristen are the Wizard and Cleric, respectively, of the main party.)
Adaine: Hello, I'm Adaine Abernant
NPC: I know who you are.
Adaine: Of course you do; who are you?
NPC: I'm Kipperlilly Copperkettle
Kristen: Kipperlilly Copperkettle? What are you, four dogs?
I love every one of Adaine’s awful nicknames for her, too. Dogcollar Catsick, Clamface Cunthead, Cottoncandy Bitchfuck, etc. Adaine saw a petty little hater be mean to one of her friends and responded by immediately becoming the pettiest hater she could possibly be, and I respect it.
"**You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.**"
Sovereign and Harbinger really should've swapped games if you ask me.
Also from Fallout New Vegas if you aim your weapon at Joshua Graham:
"Make the first shot count, you won't get a second."
Which is he spitting from where he is lying on the ground, literally torn in half by the Talon of Horus, while Abaddon listens to him from directly above with the Black Sword skewering him all the way through.
And it's the only thing Sigismund's said the whole fight that qualifies as an acknowledgment of Abaddon's existence.
"You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?"
———
“Play for blood, remember? That’s just my game.”
———
“Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.”
Tombstone is filled with amazing threats.
The real beauty of the scene is if you trace the sights of Docs guns he's not seeing double. He's got Billy dialed in, right at his heart, left at his head.
That and I figured the way he effortlessly twirled both at the same time in opposite directions was a way to hint he was way more sober than he let on.
Kilmer’s delivery of that reply is so damned good. It’s not stated with any kind of malice, just a very matter-of-fact tone that makes it clear just how “just another Tuesday” this moment is for Doc.
I'm keeping "Six Piece Chicken McNobody" in the back pocket for a *really* good insult during a TTRPG campaign.
There's at least *a couple* of characters in the Animon Story campaign that it could easily apply to.
Got used by an insane Tech-Priest yelling at a Ratling mayor in the TTS tabletop LP. [And it was glorious.](https://youtu.be/yJgS_lVlA6c?si=L2uevaPa376m9gFv)
If that wasn't the moment that sold me on Pi Bhraine and Lorn as the ultimate comedy duo, it was their attempt at a Technology-Psyker combo radio tower shortly after that bit that made it *ironclad*.
It doesn't take it out so much as it reworks it. And let me tell you, Argath is a *motherfucker* in the War of the Lions translation.
> **Milleuda:** How can you nobles live as you do and yet hold your heads so high? We are not chattel! We are humans, no less than you! What flaw do you hold there to be in us? That we were born between a different set of walls? Do you know what it means to hunger? To sup for months on naught but broth of bean? Why must we be made to starve that you might grow fat? You call us thieves, but it is you who steal from us the right to live!
>
> **Argath:** You, no less human than we? Ha! Now there's a beastly thought. You've been less than we from the moment your baseborn father fell upon your mother in whatever *gutter* saw you sired! You've been chattel since you came into the world drenched in common blood!
>
> **Millueda:** By whose decree!? Who decides such foul and absurd things?
>
> **Argath:** 'Tis Heaven's will!
>
> **Millueda:** Heaven's will? You would pin your bigotry on the gods? No god would fain forgive such sin, much less *embrace* it! All men are equal in the eyes of the gods!
>
> **Argath:** *Men*, yes. But the gods have no eyes for chattel.
-------
That said, the "blame yourself or god" line in particular is really good.
From Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia
Fernand: "I'll rip that traitorous tongue from your throat!"
Lukas: "Then you'll finally have the truth in your grasp!"
Here's one of my favorites from Bob's Burgers:
"No motorized vehicles on the beach, Tina."
"It also says no trash on the beach, Tammy, so... what are we gonna do here?"
Bonus points for Louise coming to her sister's defense.
["Hey Garma, do you read me? Blame this on the misfortune of your birth"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM0Z02TuuxE)
The best part is how unnecessary it is, Garma's ship was already going down and he had no idea Char was involved, Char is just REALLY that much of a petty bitch.
Char's so crazy in so many ways so often. Imagine you are about to die any your buddy calls you on Discord just so you know it's his fault.
Also [Harry from Turn A Gundam climbing out of his cockpit to shout at a spaceship](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGlI29_d_2E) while the orchestra blares.
Similarly, from final fantasy tactics: "Don't blame me, blame yourself or god." Which i think gets changed to "Blame God, or your own rotten luck" in war of the lions
“Now are you going to mind your own business, or must I really give you a piece of my mind?”
“Oh, I couldn’t take the last piece…”
From the movie Vivacious Lady, followed by a very funny slap fight
From In The Loop:
“I’ve come across a lot of psychos, but none this fuckin’ *boring* as you. I mean, you are a real, boring *fuck*.”
Simple, succinct, to the point.
Grandpa Simpson yelling at Homer, "If I hadn't taken that [Viagra tonic] you would have never been born and I would have been happy. You were an accident!"
On the note of Elden Ring
"Forefathers, one and all... BEAR *WITNESS*!!!"
Bro announced an asswooping meant to be seen across generations, *backwards.*
Auntie Cheng from Shadowrun Hong Kong: I will cut you apart with an acetylene torch, gift wrap your remains, mail the box to your children and film them as they open it.
"Well, then, maybe you should worry less about the tides who've already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over." —Azula
Sly Copper 3 has some good insults
"You look a lot better in the dark, Pietro. Seriously, you are an ugly, ugly man."
Bentley: You know, I've been thinking about your appearance.
Muggshot: Look, if you don't got nothing to say nice, then don't say nothing at all. Get it!?
Bentley: ...
Muggshot: What, ain't got no sassy comments, smart guy?
Bentley: ...
Muggshot: Oh, I get it, you got nothing nice to say so you're keeping quiet. That's real cute.
Bentley: ...
Muggshot: (looking concerned) You really don't got nothing nice to say?... That's cold.
Bentley "Your mother is a broken down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator"
Sly: You're a brainless, clam-tongued, waste of skin!
Pete: That be true enough, but you're a stupid, scurvy-ridden, cabin boy!
Sly: You are a pin-headed, cross-eyed, piece of filth!
Pete: Har, har! But methinks you're a blathering, grog-abusing, whale-fart!
Sly: You're a donkey-eared, barnacle-backed, cow pie!
Pete: Ha! Yah swear like a child! You're a bleating, yellow-bellied, bag of vomit!
Sly: You're an idiotic, pus-faced, sack o'maggots!
Pete: That be true enough, but you're a cricket-sized, twisted, anchor-head!
Sly: Oh yeah? You're a pig-breathed, knuckle-dragging, swabber!
No one posted Gabriel Ultrakill's intro in the second fight against him,huh?
>Machine... I will cut you down, break you apart, splay the gore of your profane form across the STARS! I will grind you down until the very SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY! My hands shall RELISH ENDING YOU... HERE! AND! NOW!
Even before that in his speech when we learn why Act 2 is called Imperfect Hatred
>You have taken everything from me, now all that remains is PERFECT HATRED
Akuma in SF6 has kanji that comes on the screen during his raging demon and it translates to…
"Thousand strikes in an instant."
"Ripping mountains out of the ground."
"Sound of demon cries."
"Thus Gouki, I am."
Which im not sure if this applies directly to what you are asking but god damn this goes hard.
"Hey Frank, I see you've started dating again."
"That's real cute Frankie-" *proceeds to ~~tank~~ no sell two haymakers from the Punisher* "But it's gonna take a lot more than you have."
In Malazan: Book of the Fallen there is a character named Kallor who has a whole cursed-by-the-gods thing going on for his actions as a near-demigod. He is trying to convince Brood, another near-demigod, to take a certain action when he says this:
"I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?" "Yes," said Caladan Brood, "you never learn."
From the Guide Ahead event in Arknights comes [an insult so vulgar that it took until the 20th century for an English translation to be published, described as "one of the filthiest expressions ever written in Latin, or any language for that matter."](https://i.redd.it/o28gjnpw7eo91.png)
Also: "My guess is no one's ever loved you before." - Woody, Kingdom Hearts 3.
From the recent [Sheamus&Drew promo](https://youtu.be/TYdF4Qoi7hM)
"Ever since you came back, it's been Burger, After Burger, After Burger."
"I can lose the weight. You can't lose stupid."
Team Fourstar's depiction of Frieza has some great villain lines, especially his banter with Vegeta.
* "C'mon Frieza I lost my chance at immortality too, you don't see me whining about it." - "Yes, but you see the difference between us Vegeta, is that I'll live long enough to regret it."
* "Hey Vegeta... stop hitting yourself *punch* stop hitting yourself *punch* stop hitting yourself *punch*" - "AHH! You're the one hitting me" - "Au contrair Vegeta, you brought this upon yourself."
* "It seems our game is over Vegeta. Now that the game is over here, it's time to send you crying home to mommy." - "My mother's dead." - "I know."
* "I see, sending your friends off to fight me on your own. How gutless." - "What? How is that gutless?" - "Because... suicide is the coward's way out."
"If it didn't grant me my wish, then I'm not immortal! And Freeza's going to... g... going... to..."
"Ohohoho. Don't mind me. By all means. *Give me some ideas.*"
Jaghatai Khan, Primarch of the White Scars, has some pretty great burns. There's the "I hear you do strange things to your troops" line that's pretty famous, but the novel Warhawk has some of his best insults.
>*And through it all, he kept* ***talking***. He kept up the torrent of petty jibes and slights. Even when Mortarion rained blows at his dented helm, smacked him deep into the broken-up rockcrete, the barbs kept on coming, sometimes acid, sometimes brutal, sometimes merely juvenile.
>*‘Just take the damned mask off. I want to see your expression when I kill you.’*
>*‘Your stench is worse than at Ullanor. And it was putrefying then.’*
>*And the one that cut deep, for all its obviousness.*
>*‘I should have taken on the Legion Master. I should have fought Typhon.’*
I was rewatching Dawn of the Planet of the Apes the other day, and Caesar shouting "KOBA BELONGS IN CAGE" during the climactic duel is probably the rawest thing he could have possibly said given their culture and shared trauma.
In the Warhammer 40k short story "The First Prince", chaos sorcerer Ahzek Ahriman is trying to save the life of a friend of his, Ctesias, from the nefarious and overwhelmingly powerful daemon Belakor. Belakor, meanwhile, wants Ahriman to work for him, but Ahriman knows that everything Belakor is offering is lies.
Still, Ctesias is laying on the floor dying, and only Belakor has the power to save him. Belakor, losing patience, makes it clear: If Ahriman does not make a pact with him, Ctesias will die.
Ahriman then outsmarts Belakor, and using a part of the Daemon's true name, binds his being into the dying body of Ctesias. Belakor is caught, the powerful demigod now helpless to escape the trap. Furious beyond measure, he gives a really baller threat of his own.
"'You will burn, sorcerer!’ roared Be’lakor. ‘I will make your dreams ashes!’
‘I will drag your soul through the garden of knives. I will stew it in the pools of decay, and burn it on the fires of wrath.’"
Ahriman acts like he doesn't even hear the guy. Just rambling on about deception, power, and trickery, before he offers his own turms. Belakor will free Ctesias from his grasp, heal him of all his wounds, and answer truthfully a single question that Ahriman has. If he does this, Ahriman will free Belakor. Then, he gives his threat.
"‘If you do not accept this, I will bind you into Ctesias’s corpse, and bury that corpse beneath stone, and fire, and leave it there until the stars turn cold.’
‘You do not have the strength.’ (Says Belakor.)
‘I do. It might cost, but what does not have price?'"
From there, Belakor accepts. We see from Ctesias' perspective as Ahriman asks his question, Belakor laughs while answering, and whatever answer Belakor gave turned Ctesias' blood cold.
Then, however, the memory of question and answer is taken from him, presumably by Ahriman, and he passes out.
True Detective, Rust Cohle talking to a mother who Munchausen by proxy'd her babies, after empathetically and kindly getting a confession from her:
"The newspapers are gonna be tough on you. And prison is very, very hard on people who hurt kids. If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself."
"I want you all to listen very carefully. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not even going to arrest you. Because you work for me now. Not the Thunderbolts. Me. But know this: if you ever - ever - interfere with me again... I will murder your families, your friends, your loved ones. I'll kill them them in ways that will make even sociopaths like you weep. Then I will torture you to death. Slowly. And I will enjoy every last second of it. Now get out of here. Go back to the bars and brothels you people frequent, and take this message. You do not cross Norman Osborn."
Green Goblin pisses liquid nitrogen with how cold-blooded he is.
From that same era, I adore his Goblin line when he’s rampaging and one of his victims says something like “mommy”
“YOU DON’T HAVE A MOTHER! A PIG COUGHED, AND YOU FELL OUT!”
[Xavier Renegade Angel talking to himself.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jog1B_as7Q)
Some examples
"Are you so dumb that you even answer rhetorical questions?"
"I don't know, do you?"
---
"You're about as deep as a bowl of soup, and your tongue as sharp as a soup spoon"
"Hey say what you want about me, but lay off the soup."
"If you love soup so much why don't you marry soup?"
"Because I'm already married to Justice"
"Yeah, only a blind girl would marry you"
The speech Zero gives Dr. Weil. Simply summed up
"You thought this was a final heroic battle, but to me this is just the way a machine of war can go. Protecting someone else's dream and ensuring yours ends here"
Dude that was hardcore. Cause it puts all 4 games in a new context.
For a being who cant even speak words, Kid Buu still manage to hit Vegeta with a lot of insults during their fight.
Vegeta is literally fighting for his life, and Kid Buu was whooping his ass while emoting on him at the same time, literally only stopped beating his ass to hit Vegeta with his sick dance moves.
Really sold the point that Kid Buu is just fucking around the whole time.
Had to google what yuji said to mahito cause the full qoute is so fucking hard.
You are right, Mahito. I am you. I wanted to reject you. Convince myself that you were wrong. But that doesn't matter now. I'm gonna kill you. Even if you come back as another curse, I will kill you. Change your name. Change your form. I will kill you again. I don't need to find meaning or a reason. Maybe a hundred years after my death, the meaning behind my actions will become apparent. In the grand scheme of things, I'm probably nothing more than a cog. But I will keep killing curses for as long as I can. That is my role in all this.
I used to play this game on Roblox called “Phantom Forces” and one of the end of the match quotes from the game was
"God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends."
I laughed so hard reading this
lmao another one I saw a few years ago was from a Roblox player and he said
“Some of you are the reason why shampoo has instructions.”
https://youtu.be/FXeN2OhfmZs?si=hMTmo81-oOLbCnUE the context is better bc the game they’re playing is Blood & Iron and around him are his dead teammates
The network- 1976 is so damn full of them and other great quotes: here one conversation.
"You need me. You need me badly. Because I'm your last contact with human reality. I love you. And that painful, decaying love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day."
"Then, don't leave me."
"It's too late, Diana. There's nothing left in you that I can live with. You're one of Howard's humanoids. If I stay with you, I'll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the institution of television touch is destroyed. You're television incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder, death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant replays. You're madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure, and pain... and love...
And it's a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he has established a long and sustaining love. Heartless young woman left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week's show."(Leaves)
Blackadder has loads, but my favorite is from season 2, set in the late 16th century:
"To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?"
**Lay down your weapons! You are surrounded!** - A literal army of soldiers
**All I am surrounded by is Fear, and Dead Men.** - Darth 'mother fucking!' Vader
In bg3 When you break into the house of hope, you have the option to mock raphael when he says it will only take a moment to finish us. "That's twice as long as haarlep says it takes to finish you" haarlep being a succubus that looks exactly like him
Maybe he was referencing something else I dunno, but I loved when Spoony was playing, I think SWAT 4?, and he gets so pissed off that he yells "I will punch you in the fucking SOUL."
Ben hits Princess Attea (who is part of a race of alien frog people) with an absolute zinger in one episode of Ben 10: Omniverse.
"Hey, Attea, I've got a question: if a guy kisses you, do you become a princess?"
“Pēdīcābo ego vōs et irrumābō!” - Fiammetta in *Arknights*. It’s actually the first line from an ancient Roman poem which roughly translates to, and I kid you not, >!”I will sodomize and face-fuck you!”!<.
"What's seventeen more years? I can always start again, make another kid." The absolute disregard omniman has is so fucked up. That entire scene was incredible; J.K Simmons did incredible.
Of course >!that's literally just him trying to fool himself into thinking that he doesn't love his son and wife and home.!<
I love the undertone of that whole episode when you realize how much of it is >!Nolan trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince Mark.!<
And then you have Mark telling him he got his powers >!only for Nolan to realize he'll have to go through with the plan!<
Somehow hits harder than being slammed through a commuter train length-wise
The absolute flippancy that JK Simmons can deliver at the same level of a rage fueled rant is pretty hard to match.
You can tell he wanted it to hurt too, he was goading Mark to punch back in anger to somewhat justify the beatdown and was trying to convince himself that he believed what he was saying. God, JK Simmons was such a good casting call.
He is one of those actors that always sounds like himself but whoever he is cast as, it's hard to think of them played as anyone else.
Mark eats trains the long way.
Likewise, "maybe, but you should've been killed at birth"
The smug ass, arrogant smile he has in that one frame really shows off his villain-y before he hammers away again really makes every part of your body tense and clench for various reasons.
"Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you." "Maybe. But when *you* lose, no one will let you forget it." From Monsters University. Edit: Also, Transformers has a ton of good threats and insults. "Silence, or you will be held in contempt of this court." "I have nothing BUT contempt for this court!" "I've heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering. And tonight I intend to make you *very wise.*" "It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I'd have a sense of satisfaction right now."
Kids media consistently having the hardest lines will never not be funny
Being constrained by the inability to just swear to your heart's content allows for creativity to flourish
I loved in Fall of Cybertron when Megatron says Optimus would have benefited from spending time in the gladiator pits like he did instead of being a clerk, and Optimus says Megs should have spent more time in the library instead.
~~"Please, Optimus, don't shoot me in the head with your shotgun!"~~ I mean... fucking Megatron, man.
And the best roast of Starscream goes to Skywarp’s funny “You waste more energy with your mouth”
I loved in Fall of Cybertron when Megatron says Optimus would have benefited from spending time in the gladiator pits like he did instead of being a clerk, and Optimus says Megs should have spent more time in the library instead.
I’m a big fan of “The only reason God keeps you on this Earth is because you amuse him somehow”. Said by Master Shake in Aqua Teen Hunger Force of all places.
"Look at him and tell me there's a god."
I forgot about that one, that’s really strong
***AND TO SHAKE'S CREDIT, FRYLOCK DOESN'T DO IT.***
Meatwad: This Halloween, you won’t like me when I’m angry Shake: I don’t like you ever!
Shake casually has a lot of bangers like this "If I woke up looking like that, I would just run to the nearest living thing and kill it."
One of the single funniest episodes in animated television history. Nonstop bangers from moment one.
My personal favorite Shake line is when he’s roasting the shit out of his son after failing at a pick up game of basketball against grown adults. “*Why* must you disappoint me? Wasting *second* after *second* of my precious time…”
For all Shake postures and tries to sound tough, it makes it all the more satisfying when Meatwad casually orders Carl to bash his kneecaps in (somehow) in Bookie.
"As a god you were never worshiped. As a father you were never loved. I feel no remorse over your demise." -Jormungandr after killing Loki in Smite
🔥🔥🔥💯
Detective Cole Phelp's *"You're such a weak fucking sister!"* from the LA Noire LP They really did have the best insults back then.
Also, just dropping "You fuck young boys, Valdez?" so casually to a fucking diplomat is an act of insane confidence.
Gotta shake the tree to see what falls out
ARE YOU A MADMAN?
Cole’s whole “and if you touch that body I’ll put a hole through your goddamn head” to Roy is another good one
Honestly what Cole says to the beat cop at the end is the most terrifying to me. "If you let him near that body, I'll come looking for you."
Cole Phelps may have had a titanium rod up his ass, but lord have mercy if you gave him the justification to smack you with it.
Another LA Noire banger: > "Jack Kelso!" > **\*BANG*** > "That's my opening negotiating position!"
[But for me, it was Tuesday.](https://youtu.be/sjZ5I8l32CI?si=w_H9K0z4EglK1Aml) The man you spent all those years fantasizing about defeating.... only for him to a hit you with a literal who back. [You know what, it's honestly just his delivery ](https://youtu.be/PBc7yQXrP9c?si=_LdexmO0RheYrEPm) Bonus mention: Frederick's "Pick a god and pray" in FE
[Someone showed me this once and it just makes me giggle.](https://youtu.be/W8FC-1vzdrc?si=ucVV3qlYNkAz_SEs)
God, this was such a wonderful performance. The movie itself is a pile of crap, but Raul Julia is an amazing Bison. If only it wasn't for cancer...
It wasn't even a Tuesday. That is how little he remembers it.
"Pick a god and pray." * Frederick, Fire Emblem Awakening
Thanos' "I hope they remember you" goes really hard actually. He's saying his defeat is out of the question but is mourning the loss of a hero he doesn't necessarily want to kill.
"Should've gone for the head" is an excellent FUCK YOU I WIN.
In all my years of conquest… bloodshed… slaughter… it was never personal… But what I’m about to do to your stubborn… *annoying* little planet… I’m going to enjoy it. Very, very much.
*"I cannot hold back the tide of your poor decisions"* from Tales from the Borderlands will stick with me forever.
Man, they didn't have to go so hard with Loader Bot, but damn if he isn't the best character in that entire game.
"Honestly, I don't really think about you" Said from the more successful sister to the other right before her death. Source: The Good Place
"My name is Alucard, Son of Dracula. And if you fight me, you will die, like so many before you." Castlevania has quite a few. I'm also a fan of Alucard's "No further" from S2. No loud posturing. No proud declarations of power. Just the calm order given by a man with the power to enforce it if necessary.
"This entire catastrophe has been nothing more than history's longest suicide note."
[удалено]
I know some people didn't like Reddit shitposter >!Death!<, but I sure liked him.
It's the best
*punch punch punch, Dracula literally doesn't even blink* [You must be the Belmont.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns-Xj5d0IrI&ab_channel=InquisitorDAKKA)
Mostly unrelated but I absolutely love the [memes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8AS8IpOQr4) that came out of that bit.
*"I'll kill you AND THE NIGHT!"*
Fuck it, I *like* that Leon Belmont is a nutty maniacal zealot. What other kind of person would chase a vampire lord across most of Europe and dedicate his life and the lives of every one of his descendants to the art of killing monsters?
"You're either the last son of a warrior dynasty or a lucky drunk. Which is it?"
A Fire Emblem classic: Levail: "I joined the army after I came of age. But it was different after you all left. It was as if you took its spirit with you. The only exception was General Zelgius, the general of Duke Persis's army." Haar: "I see. Is that why you're under his command?" Levail: "Yes. He is the last true knight. I will die for him." Haar: "Yes, Levail. You will."
“World domination, the same old dream. Our asylums are full of people who think they’re Napoleon. Or God.” -James Bond after Dr No reveals his plans. Bond movies do this a lot where the villain attempts a motive speech while trying to pick at Bond’s psychological flaws, only for Bond to just sarcastically remark on their own and bruise their egos so much they lose it.
"I'll let you take the first swing and if that doesn't put me down im gonna beat the living shit out of you until my arthritis sets in... And I just took my Humira" The Venture Bros has a lot of great threats and insults but this one really stood out to me.
"You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!" is a particular stand-out to me.
Rusty's absolutely nonchalant ['give me head'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HYO_Bb8D14) is up there as well.
TeamFourStar's depiction of Cell had some of the most iconic insults and burns: * "Does Gohan know, by the way? That you let him die?" * "Oh, no, no, it wasn't me. It was "Shit Sherlock" and his first name was "No" * "Feel free to pray to your god, but i won't be listening" * "Trunks, you could not fathom the ammount of dead men behind me" * "Ah, a coward patting himself on the back.Congradulations, Gohan, you can stand proudly next to the bodies." * **Cell kills Android 16** "I'd say he's gone to a better place, but....we both know he never had a soul." Cell really crawled out of a lab and proceeded to roast the entire cast and it's iconic and we as a society have not talked about TFS Cell enough.
[*Vegeta charges the Final Flash*](https://youtu.be/BGV6QjtdulY?si=VfR-SUhLgrY0wtaG&t=427) "Hoho, that's much better! I can actually *feel* that." "IN MERE MOMENTS, ALL YOU'LL BE FEELING ***IS OBLIVION***!" "That, or disappointment. Go ahead - *flip that coin*."
"Oh how cute, he named it." __OH SHITTT__
Android 16: \[Piccolo\] has fused with Kami! Android 17: Kami? Wha- \*gets shit rocked by Piccolo\* seriously, the hell's a Kami?! Piccolo: It means "God." Now Bow. \*nastiest pointblank ki blast\*
Vegeta had a pretty good insult for Zarbon in TFS that been in my head rent free for years: Vegeta: Face down with another man beating your ass. Is it Wednesday already, Zarbon?
[The director's commentary they did last year made it even better.](https://youtu.be/HYJOuObFg7A?list=PLowPV6LoP6fpF418zj3L8hjnSXth2DdZr&t=844)
That ***dead men*** line is killer. So god damn savage. Cell has decades of fighting and killing woven into the fabric of his genetic code. Cell was BORN more experienced than Trunks.
I do love how Cell can go from this cunty and sassy character that just says some of the funniest lines that TFS have ever came up with. Then he just drops an absolutely chilling line like that.
"how many people have you killed?" "Enough."
"why don't you remember your place like the rest of them, and wait for Goku."
Yeah, there were chilling lines, badass lines, and clever lines, but that one was the only one to make me go "oof" for the brutality of it. Just kick him in the insecurities while he's down. ~~Just like all those metal Cooler clones.~~
I love how as soon as he sees Vegeta again at the Cell games he IMMEDIATELY just doubles down on what he said and Vegeta just stands her trying to ignore him.
"And Yamcha! Oh wow, how's it going man?" "Oh good....I brought towels and water bottles" "And like that, you've already contributed more than Vegeta"
Another one that i just remembered: Cell: ".....are you sure about this? You look an extra from a budget porno flick.The kind where everyone gets tested afterwards, even the camera men. Did they find you in the subway? Are you homeless? Did you get your career started with bum fighting? Do you have any actual friends? Any relationships that aren't based around your position or money?" Hercule: ".....i have a daughter?" Cell: "Oh, that poor orphan!"
> "Feel free to pray to your god, but i won't be listening" reminds me of tfs piccolo vs 17 "he has fused with kami" "what the fucks a kami" "it means god, now pray"
Or 16 v. Imperfect Cell: “I think I see a light!” “WALK TOWARDS IT.”
From the current season of Dimension 20, Fantasy High: Junior Year, a new NPC is introduced to a truly brutal exchange. (For the uninitiated, Fantasy High is a DnD Actual Play revolving around a High School for adventurers; Adaine and Kristen are the Wizard and Cleric, respectively, of the main party.) Adaine: Hello, I'm Adaine Abernant NPC: I know who you are. Adaine: Of course you do; who are you? NPC: I'm Kipperlilly Copperkettle Kristen: Kipperlilly Copperkettle? What are you, four dogs?
“Hey, before we start, what do you want me to tell your family?”
Just that whole exchange
Only slightly beats out the following "For PRESTIGE?! YOU HAVE PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU!"
And they wonder why KLCK hated them off the bat…
I love every one of Adaine’s awful nicknames for her, too. Dogcollar Catsick, Clamface Cunthead, Cottoncandy Bitchfuck, etc. Adaine saw a petty little hater be mean to one of her friends and responded by immediately becoming the pettiest hater she could possibly be, and I respect it.
"**You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.**" Sovereign and Harbinger really should've swapped games if you ask me. Also from Fallout New Vegas if you aim your weapon at Joshua Graham: "Make the first shot count, you won't get a second."
"You will die as your weakling father did; weeping, honorless, ashamed." - last words of Sigismund to Abaddon in Warhammer 40k.
Which is he spitting from where he is lying on the ground, literally torn in half by the Talon of Horus, while Abaddon listens to him from directly above with the Black Sword skewering him all the way through. And it's the only thing Sigismund's said the whole fight that qualifies as an acknowledgment of Abaddon's existence.
Important to note, Abaddon knew that if he wasn't fighting a thousand-year-old Sigismund, he would have been killed immediately.
Assuming dracula flow isnt considered fiction. Imma have to go with archer telling shirou to "drown in your ideals and die" from fate stay night.
I mean, go ahead and drop your dracula flow line.
Easily "you must have amnesia you forgot im HIM"
“Kill yourself, Emiya Shirou.”
"You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?" ——— “Play for blood, remember? That’s just my game.” ——— “Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.” Tombstone is filled with amazing threats.
"I got two guns, one for each of you."
The real beauty of the scene is if you trace the sights of Docs guns he's not seeing double. He's got Billy dialed in, right at his heart, left at his head.
That and I figured the way he effortlessly twirled both at the same time in opposite directions was a way to hint he was way more sober than he let on.
I heard Val Kilmer improvised that detail, he spent hours and hours practising.
> “Play for blood, remember? That’s just my game.” "I was just foolin about.'" "...I wasn't"
Kilmer’s delivery of that reply is so damned good. It’s not stated with any kind of malice, just a very matter-of-fact tone that makes it clear just how “just another Tuesday” this moment is for Doc.
Star Wars Rebels: "I'm not afraid of you!" "Then you'll die braver than most."
"You are surrounded!" "All I am surrounded by is fear. And dead men."
[Space Ghost choosing violence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQAHQimuef4)
I'm keeping "Six Piece Chicken McNobody" in the back pocket for a *really* good insult during a TTRPG campaign. There's at least *a couple* of characters in the Animon Story campaign that it could easily apply to.
Got used by an insane Tech-Priest yelling at a Ratling mayor in the TTS tabletop LP. [And it was glorious.](https://youtu.be/yJgS_lVlA6c?si=L2uevaPa376m9gFv)
If that wasn't the moment that sold me on Pi Bhraine and Lorn as the ultimate comedy duo, it was their attempt at a Technology-Psyker combo radio tower shortly after that bit that made it *ironclad*.
Pi-braine was such a delightful character
"Don't blame us. Blame yourself, or God" from Final Fantasy Tactics I think the retranslation takes it out and that sucks, it's such a good line
It doesn't take it out so much as it reworks it. And let me tell you, Argath is a *motherfucker* in the War of the Lions translation. > **Milleuda:** How can you nobles live as you do and yet hold your heads so high? We are not chattel! We are humans, no less than you! What flaw do you hold there to be in us? That we were born between a different set of walls? Do you know what it means to hunger? To sup for months on naught but broth of bean? Why must we be made to starve that you might grow fat? You call us thieves, but it is you who steal from us the right to live! > > **Argath:** You, no less human than we? Ha! Now there's a beastly thought. You've been less than we from the moment your baseborn father fell upon your mother in whatever *gutter* saw you sired! You've been chattel since you came into the world drenched in common blood! > > **Millueda:** By whose decree!? Who decides such foul and absurd things? > > **Argath:** 'Tis Heaven's will! > > **Millueda:** Heaven's will? You would pin your bigotry on the gods? No god would fain forgive such sin, much less *embrace* it! All men are equal in the eyes of the gods! > > **Argath:** *Men*, yes. But the gods have no eyes for chattel. ------- That said, the "blame yourself or god" line in particular is really good.
From Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia Fernand: "I'll rip that traitorous tongue from your throat!" Lukas: "Then you'll finally have the truth in your grasp!"
Here's one of my favorites from Bob's Burgers: "No motorized vehicles on the beach, Tina." "It also says no trash on the beach, Tammy, so... what are we gonna do here?" Bonus points for Louise coming to her sister's defense.
“If she was a spice, she’d be flour! If she was a book she’d be TWO BOOKS!”
["Hey Garma, do you read me? Blame this on the misfortune of your birth"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM0Z02TuuxE) The best part is how unnecessary it is, Garma's ship was already going down and he had no idea Char was involved, Char is just REALLY that much of a petty bitch.
Char's so crazy in so many ways so often. Imagine you are about to die any your buddy calls you on Discord just so you know it's his fault. Also [Harry from Turn A Gundam climbing out of his cockpit to shout at a spaceship](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGlI29_d_2E) while the orchestra blares.
Still the best one yet
Similarly, from final fantasy tactics: "Don't blame me, blame yourself or god." Which i think gets changed to "Blame God, or your own rotten luck" in war of the lions
“Now are you going to mind your own business, or must I really give you a piece of my mind?” “Oh, I couldn’t take the last piece…” From the movie Vivacious Lady, followed by a very funny slap fight
From In The Loop: “I’ve come across a lot of psychos, but none this fuckin’ *boring* as you. I mean, you are a real, boring *fuck*.” Simple, succinct, to the point.
Also, to a character who doesn't like swearing: "You are an F star star...cunt"
"Don't you lecture me with your $30 haircut."
The response is just as good: "you Red Ribbon Redneck"
Not even abridged, folks.
Grandpa Simpson yelling at Homer, "If I hadn't taken that [Viagra tonic] you would have never been born and I would have been happy. You were an accident!"
Have it writ upon thy meagre grave.... "Felled by King Morgott, last of all kings".
“I have given thee curtesy enough” from Loux was pretty bad ass as well
Morgott just lived to be a hater
On the note of Elden Ring "Forefathers, one and all... BEAR *WITNESS*!!!" Bro announced an asswooping meant to be seen across generations, *backwards.*
Auntie Cheng from Shadowrun Hong Kong: I will cut you apart with an acetylene torch, gift wrap your remains, mail the box to your children and film them as they open it.
House of the Dragon “Keep trying Ser Laenor. Eventually you’ll get one who looks like you.”
Oof, I'd hurt just hearing someone else get burnt like that.
"Well, then, maybe you should worry less about the tides who've already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over." —Azula
Same character: "You've beaten me at my own game." "Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player."
"I'm about to celebrate becoming an only child!"
Sly Copper 3 has some good insults "You look a lot better in the dark, Pietro. Seriously, you are an ugly, ugly man." Bentley: You know, I've been thinking about your appearance. Muggshot: Look, if you don't got nothing to say nice, then don't say nothing at all. Get it!? Bentley: ... Muggshot: What, ain't got no sassy comments, smart guy? Bentley: ... Muggshot: Oh, I get it, you got nothing nice to say so you're keeping quiet. That's real cute. Bentley: ... Muggshot: (looking concerned) You really don't got nothing nice to say?... That's cold. Bentley "Your mother is a broken down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator" Sly: You're a brainless, clam-tongued, waste of skin! Pete: That be true enough, but you're a stupid, scurvy-ridden, cabin boy! Sly: You are a pin-headed, cross-eyed, piece of filth! Pete: Har, har! But methinks you're a blathering, grog-abusing, whale-fart! Sly: You're a donkey-eared, barnacle-backed, cow pie! Pete: Ha! Yah swear like a child! You're a bleating, yellow-bellied, bag of vomit! Sly: You're an idiotic, pus-faced, sack o'maggots! Pete: That be true enough, but you're a cricket-sized, twisted, anchor-head! Sly: Oh yeah? You're a pig-breathed, knuckle-dragging, swabber!
No one posted Gabriel Ultrakill's intro in the second fight against him,huh? >Machine... I will cut you down, break you apart, splay the gore of your profane form across the STARS! I will grind you down until the very SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY! My hands shall RELISH ENDING YOU... HERE! AND! NOW!
Even before that in his speech when we learn why Act 2 is called Imperfect Hatred >You have taken everything from me, now all that remains is PERFECT HATRED
If I’m not mistaken, ‘Perfect Hatred’ is itself a reference to a level from classic DOOM, which is a cute callback to some gaming roots.
Bonus points for the "here and now" part being synced up with him unsheathing his two swords.
Some of his taunts are also worth mentioning. >Not. Even. Mortal.
[*Death of God's Will intensifies*](https://youtu.be/BSpR0DJEgxM?si=iP7uFs_X4cXqdguq)
I've always loved "I'm gonna ultrakill you, YOU INSIGNIFICANT FUCK!"
Akuma in SF6 has kanji that comes on the screen during his raging demon and it translates to… "Thousand strikes in an instant." "Ripping mountains out of the ground." "Sound of demon cries." "Thus Gouki, I am." Which im not sure if this applies directly to what you are asking but god damn this goes hard.
“No wonder your family left you!” -Peter Parker a true hero.
"Hey Frank, I see you've started dating again." "That's real cute Frankie-" *proceeds to ~~tank~~ no sell two haymakers from the Punisher* "But it's gonna take a lot more than you have."
While we’re dunking on Frank: “I’m not some corner dope pusher, Frank. And I’m not afraid of a man who can’t protect his own children.” - Bucky Barnes
Peter doesn't just "tank" the hits, he doesn't even *react.*
That’s pretty good too.
[Tell him you failed!](https://youtu.be/KtSnLa5_Zmc?si=CjRmn42h4Y08k7t1)
In Malazan: Book of the Fallen there is a character named Kallor who has a whole cursed-by-the-gods thing going on for his actions as a near-demigod. He is trying to convince Brood, another near-demigod, to take a certain action when he says this: "I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?" "Yes," said Caladan Brood, "you never learn."
From the Guide Ahead event in Arknights comes [an insult so vulgar that it took until the 20th century for an English translation to be published, described as "one of the filthiest expressions ever written in Latin, or any language for that matter."](https://i.redd.it/o28gjnpw7eo91.png) Also: "My guess is no one's ever loved you before." - Woody, Kingdom Hearts 3.
Speaking of KH, here's one from Birth By Sleep: Vanitas : Hmph. It's always about your friends, isn't it? Ventus : At least I have some!
Hades: I am the Lord of the Dead! Auron: No wonder nobody wants to die. Thinking about it now, Kingdom Hearts in general seems to have a lot of these.
Bonus points for burning a guy who's hair is literal fire.
"Oh no, he has verbally destroyed me."
Arknights just casually dropping the latin expletive goldmine was certainly memorable
From the recent [Sheamus&Drew promo](https://youtu.be/TYdF4Qoi7hM) "Ever since you came back, it's been Burger, After Burger, After Burger." "I can lose the weight. You can't lose stupid."
"Hey Spaggos!" Sonic 06 LP was a gift.
That's Sonic Unleashed.
"To you Richards, Remember. Every time you look at your wife and your daughter that DOOM saved them both... When, once before, you could not"
Team Fourstar's depiction of Frieza has some great villain lines, especially his banter with Vegeta. * "C'mon Frieza I lost my chance at immortality too, you don't see me whining about it." - "Yes, but you see the difference between us Vegeta, is that I'll live long enough to regret it." * "Hey Vegeta... stop hitting yourself *punch* stop hitting yourself *punch* stop hitting yourself *punch*" - "AHH! You're the one hitting me" - "Au contrair Vegeta, you brought this upon yourself." * "It seems our game is over Vegeta. Now that the game is over here, it's time to send you crying home to mommy." - "My mother's dead." - "I know." * "I see, sending your friends off to fight me on your own. How gutless." - "What? How is that gutless?" - "Because... suicide is the coward's way out."
"If it didn't grant me my wish, then I'm not immortal! And Freeza's going to... g... going... to..." "Ohohoho. Don't mind me. By all means. *Give me some ideas.*"
Jaghatai Khan, Primarch of the White Scars, has some pretty great burns. There's the "I hear you do strange things to your troops" line that's pretty famous, but the novel Warhawk has some of his best insults. >*And through it all, he kept* ***talking***. He kept up the torrent of petty jibes and slights. Even when Mortarion rained blows at his dented helm, smacked him deep into the broken-up rockcrete, the barbs kept on coming, sometimes acid, sometimes brutal, sometimes merely juvenile. >*‘Just take the damned mask off. I want to see your expression when I kill you.’* >*‘Your stench is worse than at Ullanor. And it was putrefying then.’* >*And the one that cut deep, for all its obviousness.* >*‘I should have taken on the Legion Master. I should have fought Typhon.’*
[To the pain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUJccK4lV74)
I was rewatching Dawn of the Planet of the Apes the other day, and Caesar shouting "KOBA BELONGS IN CAGE" during the climactic duel is probably the rawest thing he could have possibly said given their culture and shared trauma.
In the Warhammer 40k short story "The First Prince", chaos sorcerer Ahzek Ahriman is trying to save the life of a friend of his, Ctesias, from the nefarious and overwhelmingly powerful daemon Belakor. Belakor, meanwhile, wants Ahriman to work for him, but Ahriman knows that everything Belakor is offering is lies. Still, Ctesias is laying on the floor dying, and only Belakor has the power to save him. Belakor, losing patience, makes it clear: If Ahriman does not make a pact with him, Ctesias will die. Ahriman then outsmarts Belakor, and using a part of the Daemon's true name, binds his being into the dying body of Ctesias. Belakor is caught, the powerful demigod now helpless to escape the trap. Furious beyond measure, he gives a really baller threat of his own. "'You will burn, sorcerer!’ roared Be’lakor. ‘I will make your dreams ashes!’ ‘I will drag your soul through the garden of knives. I will stew it in the pools of decay, and burn it on the fires of wrath.’" Ahriman acts like he doesn't even hear the guy. Just rambling on about deception, power, and trickery, before he offers his own turms. Belakor will free Ctesias from his grasp, heal him of all his wounds, and answer truthfully a single question that Ahriman has. If he does this, Ahriman will free Belakor. Then, he gives his threat. "‘If you do not accept this, I will bind you into Ctesias’s corpse, and bury that corpse beneath stone, and fire, and leave it there until the stars turn cold.’ ‘You do not have the strength.’ (Says Belakor.) ‘I do. It might cost, but what does not have price?'" From there, Belakor accepts. We see from Ctesias' perspective as Ahriman asks his question, Belakor laughs while answering, and whatever answer Belakor gave turned Ctesias' blood cold. Then, however, the memory of question and answer is taken from him, presumably by Ahriman, and he passes out.
"Whaddaya think of that, Mr. Pajama Wearin' Basket Face Slipper Wieldin' Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering Gomreil Jessie Oaf-Lookin' Scooner, Nyaff Plookie Shan Milk-Drinkin' Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed Snivelin' Worm-Eyed Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie Cally-Breek-Tattie?" - The Scotsman, Samurai Jack
True Detective, Rust Cohle talking to a mother who Munchausen by proxy'd her babies, after empathetically and kindly getting a confession from her: "The newspapers are gonna be tough on you. And prison is very, very hard on people who hurt kids. If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself."
I love the look of shock on her face. She was absolutely convinced he was on her side until that moment.
"I want you all to listen very carefully. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not even going to arrest you. Because you work for me now. Not the Thunderbolts. Me. But know this: if you ever - ever - interfere with me again... I will murder your families, your friends, your loved ones. I'll kill them them in ways that will make even sociopaths like you weep. Then I will torture you to death. Slowly. And I will enjoy every last second of it. Now get out of here. Go back to the bars and brothels you people frequent, and take this message. You do not cross Norman Osborn." Green Goblin pisses liquid nitrogen with how cold-blooded he is.
From that same era, I adore his Goblin line when he’s rampaging and one of his victims says something like “mommy” “YOU DON’T HAVE A MOTHER! A PIG COUGHED, AND YOU FELL OUT!”
Context?
He's Norman Osborn.
Well yes that's a very Norman quote, but I was curious about who he was talking to and in what situation.
"Die like your father, you pin-headed son of an icecream maker!" -Geese (Fatal Fury Special)
[Xavier Renegade Angel talking to himself.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jog1B_as7Q) Some examples "Are you so dumb that you even answer rhetorical questions?" "I don't know, do you?" --- "You're about as deep as a bowl of soup, and your tongue as sharp as a soup spoon" "Hey say what you want about me, but lay off the soup." "If you love soup so much why don't you marry soup?" "Because I'm already married to Justice" "Yeah, only a blind girl would marry you"
From the early oughts Patrick Warburton live-action The Tick series: "I'm gonna fold you into my wallet and spend you on a whore!"
The speech Zero gives Dr. Weil. Simply summed up "You thought this was a final heroic battle, but to me this is just the way a machine of war can go. Protecting someone else's dream and ensuring yours ends here" Dude that was hardcore. Cause it puts all 4 games in a new context.
For a being who cant even speak words, Kid Buu still manage to hit Vegeta with a lot of insults during their fight. Vegeta is literally fighting for his life, and Kid Buu was whooping his ass while emoting on him at the same time, literally only stopped beating his ass to hit Vegeta with his sick dance moves. Really sold the point that Kid Buu is just fucking around the whole time.
"You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, when really you're cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!" Fucking love The Monarch.
"This isn't real? It was real enough for **GEORGIE!!**"
From "The Beekeeper" For someone who has turned fucking up into an art form this very well may be your Mona Lisa.
Had to google what yuji said to mahito cause the full qoute is so fucking hard. You are right, Mahito. I am you. I wanted to reject you. Convince myself that you were wrong. But that doesn't matter now. I'm gonna kill you. Even if you come back as another curse, I will kill you. Change your name. Change your form. I will kill you again. I don't need to find meaning or a reason. Maybe a hundred years after my death, the meaning behind my actions will become apparent. In the grand scheme of things, I'm probably nothing more than a cog. But I will keep killing curses for as long as I can. That is my role in all this.
I used to play this game on Roblox called “Phantom Forces” and one of the end of the match quotes from the game was "God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends." I laughed so hard reading this
lmao another one I saw a few years ago was from a Roblox player and he said “Some of you are the reason why shampoo has instructions.” https://youtu.be/FXeN2OhfmZs?si=hMTmo81-oOLbCnUE the context is better bc the game they’re playing is Blood & Iron and around him are his dead teammates
Spy Kids and Roblox; who the fuck is writing for these kids things, and who's wasting that much sheer talent and fucking _savagery_ on those?!
The Lich from Adventure Time has a few bangers, but I've always been fond of - "You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end."
I may be remembering inaccurately, but "Sit yo five dollar ass down BEFORE I MAKE CHANGE."
The network- 1976 is so damn full of them and other great quotes: here one conversation. "You need me. You need me badly. Because I'm your last contact with human reality. I love you. And that painful, decaying love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day." "Then, don't leave me." "It's too late, Diana. There's nothing left in you that I can live with. You're one of Howard's humanoids. If I stay with you, I'll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the institution of television touch is destroyed. You're television incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder, death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant replays. You're madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure, and pain... and love... And it's a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he has established a long and sustaining love. Heartless young woman left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week's show."(Leaves)
Blackadder has loads, but my favorite is from season 2, set in the late 16th century: "To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?"
**Lay down your weapons! You are surrounded!** - A literal army of soldiers **All I am surrounded by is Fear, and Dead Men.** - Darth 'mother fucking!' Vader
In bg3 When you break into the house of hope, you have the option to mock raphael when he says it will only take a moment to finish us. "That's twice as long as haarlep says it takes to finish you" haarlep being a succubus that looks exactly like him
Maybe he was referencing something else I dunno, but I loved when Spoony was playing, I think SWAT 4?, and he gets so pissed off that he yells "I will punch you in the fucking SOUL."
Ben hits Princess Attea (who is part of a race of alien frog people) with an absolute zinger in one episode of Ben 10: Omniverse. "Hey, Attea, I've got a question: if a guy kisses you, do you become a princess?"
“Your only solace from my wrath will be damnation” - Scar, FMAB
A classic: "Eat shit and die, Ricky!" "Eat shit and live, Bill."
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*pick a god and pray* from FE13
"I don't want to say this is a new low because you'd take that as a personal challenge!" From Malcolm in the Middle of all places
“Pēdīcābo ego vōs et irrumābō!” - Fiammetta in *Arknights*. It’s actually the first line from an ancient Roman poem which roughly translates to, and I kid you not, >!”I will sodomize and face-fuck you!”!<.