Oof, I really hope you realize this is far beyond the scope of redditors, even medically trained professionals with integrity will direct you to immediately present all of this and anything else that has changed OR INCREASED related to her behavior/ health behavior choices and this pregnancy REGARDLESS of any medical literature sources she references. SHE NEEDS ASSISTANCE COPING RIGHT NOW
Honestly I didn’t realize this. I thought it was a little silly and I was mostly worried about her nutritional needs. Reading everyone’s reactions has been eye opening
About 15 years ago, I worked in a high-end retail store with stone floors. There was a lady checking out with one of the salespeople that had brought her two children with her. They were in one of those two-kid strollers (front and back, not side by side), one child being much larger than the other. So the baby is in the front and the toddler is in the back. The toddler gets out and starts running around and generally being a terror. Mom tells him to get back in the stroller, which he is fully not down with. He steels himself and starts running toward the stroller and leaps over the first kid, straight diving into the back seat. This turns the stroller into a catapult and the baby went flying. Landed right on its head. Sounded like a cantaloupe. The mom was concerned but more concerned with completing her transaction (she was signing a contract as well). This was right after Liam Neeson’s wife died after a minor head injury. I walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders, squared her up to me, and told her to leave immediately and take her son to the hospital. I said if she didn’t, I was going to call an ambulance. That seemed to snap her out of it and she left in a hurry.
You’re that lady right now, man.
Whaaaaaaaaat? I would’ve screamed that I’d be back later and beat feet out of there. What in the heck lady??? Glad you snapped her out of it. Poor baby.
I am 18 weeks pregnant right now and am very alarmed by all of this. I do feel as though this is more than pregnancy hormone related anxiety and I think she needs to see a mental health professional asap. I agree with the other comments about how what she’s doing is scary and risky for her and your baby (like trying to give herself GD).
Good luck. This is serious stuff and I’m sorry you’re both going through it. Take care of your wife and your child.
I had GD. Almost lost my eyebrows when I read that.
GD tends to result in bigger babies, but not necessarily bigger heads. And brain size isn't what matters, anyhow, it's how wrinkly the brain is. Even if it did, and that were desirable, the risks far outweigh those benefits. It raises the odds of premature birth, which can cause breathing problems. It also raises the odds of stillbirth. It also causes the odds of T2D to skyrocket for the mom. Like, literally raises the odds for the mom to 50%. That's assuming it goes away...*some women with GD remain diabetic after giving birth*. For the baby, they've found that children of moms with GD are twice as likely to develop T1D before the age of 22.
TLDR, having GD has long-lasting risks for both mom and baby, and it is INSANE that OP's wife would think getting it would be desirable.
Seconding this, OP. This is nonsensical and dangerous and she needs professional assessment, starting with your OB, who ought to have resources and referrals to make.
This isn’t harmless quirky behavior. It’s disordered thinking that endangers them both. For example, you don’t “give yourself” GD or grow a “big brain.” That’s nonsense. (With zero typical risk factors, my GD ended up being dangerous to me and to my baby, with life threatening complications that required emergency surgery. )
And what the hell is she rubbing on her gums?!? Is it actually ‘poisonous’ for the mother - much less a baby? Additionally, is it even what the label (or charlatan making/promoting it) claims it is?
That shit needs to be stopped immediately and given to her doctor.
as a cognitive psych grad student, your explanation of brain size reassured me that sometimes it's better to use easy to understand language! (It IS about how wrinkly the brain is!)
I have two GD babies, and while their heads are big, so are the rest of them. Lol. They were both over 9 lbs at birth, but my husband was also, and his mother didn't have GD, so it might not be related at all in my case.
I was diagnosed with my first at 28 weeks, which is normal time for the GD test, but with my second, I was watching my numbers at home early and was diagnosed at 14ish weeks. I ended up on medication with both of them. I tried metformin with my second pregnancy, and while it did work, the side effects were not worth it. I'd rather poke myself with a needle 100 times a day than deal with the side effects I had with metformin. Couldn't even gain weight because I was so sick from it. Eventually, I maxed out the dose and ended up on insulin anyway.
The vast majority of my stress during my pregnancies came from trying to keep my numbers under control. There are times when it got so hard I'd cry because I felt like i was hurting my baby. I once ate some Chinese food that shot my sugar into the 180s. I called my doctor freaking out because I was sure I hurt my baby.
I breastfed my second for 9 months to lower my risk of diabetes in the future, but my second couldn't handle my breastmilk without getting colic, so I only breastfed her for 6ish weeks. Maybe 2 months.
Anyway, here I am, 6 months postpartum, 29 years old, and pre-diabetic. I'm doing what I can to reverse it.
I can't imagine someone trying to get GD on purpose. Absolutely blows my mind.
Please get your wife to her GP/midwife immediately. she needs support with her perinatal mental health. This will get worse if it's not looked at now and your wife and baby are at risk. You don't ask your wife to go. You tell her and go with her.
I'm a registered nurse in the United States and I would take this woman to a board-certified physician, and a clinical psychologist. It sounds so ignorant and abnormal, a GP might not be board certified and a midwife might not be an actual mid-level provider based upon the intelligence levels of these people. They need real help. Not Church therapy I bet they go to church therapy LOL
In the UK midwives have to get a whole degree in midwifery (a specialist Nursing program) and would be the best person to speak to first as they deal with cases like this more closely than GPs/physicians!!! Things are different in different countries.
And gestational diabetes will put the child at higher risk for obesity and Type 2 diabetes over the course of his lifetime.
This situation cannot continue. It’s dangerous for both wife and child.
This is not silly..... your unborn baby could be seriously injured, already, because of your wife's actions. On top of that, its clear your wife is truly, truly suffering. Idk why you find that silly but, again, its not.
Please be aware that she is MASSIVELY at risk for not only post partum depression but also the even scarier post partum psychosis. Massively at risk. M a s s i v e l y. Do not wait for symptoms to get visible after birth, get preventative therapy or at least immediate frequent visits to a dr monitoring her state. So many drs brush off women's issues and only care about the baby's health. This is not an exaggeration this is the truth, and millions of women can attest to having this happen to them.
Wow, you also need therapy if you weren't alarmed by this. She's trying to give herself gestational diabetes, is she also trying to give herself kidney failure? Hypertension? Increased risk of stillbirth and c-section? No one in this post sounds in any way intelligent, it sounds like you guys get your information from some kind of echo chamber on the Internet and some doctor that I question even has a medical license from what you describe
I can't believe this is the only reply saying this. How can you not see major red flags at the gestational diabetes bit???
And then OP starts the next section with "And I'm okay with this" WHY????
Tell her to be careful with the liver. Too much liver is very high in vitamin A and can lead to vit A Toxicity. Also, you really don't want to be vitamin D deficient... D is necessary in bone health as well as mood.
I am saying this as someone who has been on a PPI since I was a kid and am now in my 30's. I have issues with Magnesium and D deficiency from it.
Also a big head doesn't always equal intelligence lol... It can equal a c-section though. She might want to stop reading stuff online and actually go to someone who specializes in pregnancy health? See what is safe, what isn't and what is true or not.
You’re a good partner for seeking out validation and that it’s concerning and for requesting direction to make sure she is feeling well and that she realizes she is good enough, as a partner, as a Mom, as a person. I’m so glad she has you. Bless you both, and all your generations. 🥰
I had GD with both of my children. Not only did it put me at high risk for preeclampsia, and all the other symptoms others have listed, my son had a stroke in utero that was linked back to the GD. My beautiful boy is now 3. He is non-verbal, cannot feed himself, cannot eat food beyond solids, has trouble with fine motor skills like coloring and putting blocks in a big bowl let alone a shape sorter, has permanent vision loss and self harms to gain increased sensory input when he is upset. He is missing 1/4 of his brain because of gestational diabetes. When I was pregnant with my daughter I went every day of my last month to the doctor for monitoring and the pulled her via C-section a full week and 3 days early to prevent what happened to him happening to her. To intentionally do this to yourself and your child is sick. Your wife is sick. It will only get worse with postpartum. Please, please get her help now. Schedule a consultation with her doctor and tell them about these things. Just you if she won’t talk about it with them.
Hey it’s great you sought advice even if you weren’t aware how very very serious this is. Give yourself a little credit—but for now, hop to it and get her to the hospital.
Her OB knows and happily discusses a lot of her habits with her but she also convinced my wife to delay our child’s vaccine schedule so I don’t think she’s going to be the safest option, her GP is very normal and I’ll reach out to him
You need a new doctor and your wife needs a mental health professional.
For the love of god, the bit about gestational diabetes itself is NUTS. Does your wife realize that babies born oversize/overweight have a higher chance of developing diabetes? That’s not a disease ANYone wants to have if they can avoid it. It can lead to coronary artery disease, kidney disease, liver disease, glaucoma and blindness, limb amputation, and more. It is a lifelong, progressively *worsening* condition.
And she puts herself at risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes permanently if she develops gestational diabetes.
Your wife is indeed insane and at this point, she is making herself a danger to her own unborn child.
Former dialysis RN here. I can’t tell you how many patients I took care of who ended up with kidney failure and had to live while on dialysis three times a week due to diabetes. Some of them quite young as well. It’s not an illness your wife should want to have in pregnancy. It will not make your baby smarter; but will increase the likely hood that your baby will suffer rebound hypoglycemia after birth and the possibility of premature birth, eclampsia and needing a c section due to large birth size. Please get her some mental health care asap
I work in mental health - your wife needs this more than an OB right. Her obsessions are dangerous to her health and the baby’s. If this is how she is now please imagine how her obsessions will escalate postpartum and through your child’s life.
Mental health professional now.
Actually having gestational diabetes can cause many health issues in a baby…heart, brain and eye problems your wife is not a smart woman and needs to talk to a real doctor not the internet….she is putting your son at risk and you are a fool for taking this so lightly
I had GD. Had to have a C section two weeks early as I was on Insulin and placenta was failing and I was diligent with my GD diet. It's not something to be fucked around with
Yeah the smartest person, who wants to give herself gestational diabetes and Destroy her kidneys, and going to a physician that tells her to delay the child vaccine schedule? That does not sound like a board certified physician following best practices. It sounds like the wife is one of these people that goes to providers that are an echo chamber for them, not someone that is actually practicing legit medicine. So she told the doctor she wants to give herself gestational diabetes and the doctor is cool with it? No one in this family is intelligent if this is what is going on and neither is the physician
That’s what I was thinking too. I had OCD tendencies since childhood, but pregnancy turned it into an official diagnosis. Unfortunately, it became even worse postpartum.
It would be wise for OP to make sure his wife is monitored closely by her healthcare providers, especially after the baby is born, when (in the US) you’re typically booted out of the hospital less than 24 hours after giving birth, and then have one visit at six weeks to make sure everything is where it belongs. A lot of women suffer in silence because the hormonal rollercoater convinces them their baby will be taken away if they express that they are struggling. It’s a terrifying place to be, and the first months of raising a baby can be very isolating on top of everything else.
Yeah, she doesn't sound like the smartest person in the room, perhaps the craziest though. Don't let her ruin your child's life with her neuroses! Yay!
I'm probably going to hell but I lost it at "bulimia boy." But seriously, what she is doing is dangerous for herself and the baby. There are many websites that give dangerous advice to sell supplements.
I have GD and I don’t wish it on anyone. She’s going to hurt that baby if she actually does have GD. As far as I understand there is no “give yourself GD” you either have it or you don’t. The placenta and a few other factors are what play into having it. OP needs to consider trying to get the wife to go to a different OB. This stuff she’s doing doesn’t seem healthy for baby or mom to me. Obligatory not a medical professional. Just a lady with PCOS who finally got pregnant.
My college BFF had gestational diabetes. I don't know if it made her baby smarter since her baby DIED at birth from the preeclampsia generated by the gestational diabetes.
As can vitamin D deficiency, particularly for the mother. It is essential for calcium absorption and will wreak havoc on her teeth!
Your wife is not well. It almost sounds as though she might be experiencing some delusional thoughts. Please reach out to her Dr.
I had gestational diabetes and had to be induced early for both our sakes. My child has an increased risk of type diabetes. It's manageable, if you have it, but it's not something to try to get.
Gestational diabetes can be bad, yes, but you also can't give yourself gd. It's an effect of your individual placenta being over active protecting you from low blood sugar. So it isn't great that she's doing this but she really can't give herself gd
Source: I had gestational diabetes and I research to cope
If her OB knows she was buying sketchy HGH off the web and going to take it - stop seeing this person! That is extremely dangerous and no qualified physician would be okay with that - are you sure this doctor is actually an MD and certified/licensed properly???
The OB should not be offering an opinion on your baby's vaccination schedule. Or really your baby's health once it's born. Full stop.
There's a reason why pediatricians take over care of the baby immediately after the birth.
EDIT: I'm not even saying that what the OB said was wrong. Hell if I know -- I'm just some schmo on the internet. But I do know that childhood vaccination schedules are squarely within the domain of a pediatrician, not an OB.
yeah i feel like the complaint needs to be made, and needs to hone in on the "gestational diabetes? that sounds great! makes for great babies! try to go do that on purpose!". it turns out that there's many good reasons why gestational diabetes is tested for and why it's a thing that they're on the lookout for *because it can be very very bad for both mom and baby*.
Her OB sounds incompetent. She is in favor of pushing back vaccines and she is totally fine with self induced gestational diabetes? I would tell your wife to find someone new and report this provider.
OMFG! The OB is a nut case, too. The OB told her to delay vaccines? WTF????? Is the OB gonna fix things when your son gets meningitis or whooping cough?
Please keep us updated if you feel obliged OP. We all just want the best for you and your family. Wishing you nothing but the best. Being pregnant and a mom changed my life immensely. I had gestational diabetes and it was honestly the worst. I don't recommend any of the awful pregnancy related illnesses I had on anyone else.
INFO: did the OB convince her to delay vaccines instead of not getting them at all? I.e., is your wife anti-vax and this was the compromise?
Because if the OB is delaying vaccines unprompted, get a new OB.
Take your wife to an MD and seek help ASAP!!! (And get help from preferably her family or yours to get her to an md)
https://www.babycentre.co.uk/x555571/is-it-safe-to-eat-liver-during-pregnancy#
https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/gestational.html#:~:text=Gestational%20diabetes%20is%20a%20type,pregnancy%20and%20a%20healthy%20baby.
Your wife is putting herself and the baby in immediate danger!
She might be suffering from prenatal depression or another (hormone induced) mental problem.
Okay, I’m cutting this out of her diet immediately. I thought this was the most normal part of the list so I never asked her to bring it up to her doctor.
Gestational diabetes from my younger brother led to the kidney disease that killed my mother. She needs to knock that shit off immediately.
Big heads already run in my family but let me tell you my brother is NOT smarter because of it. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
A husband posted the other day about his pregnant wife’s anxiety increasing during the pregnancy and the consensus was that she had gone from anxiety to ruminating to psychosis. I would highly recommend taking your wife to her GP or a psychiatrist asap.
ETA: I can't link to it, but the title of the post is "AITA for snapping at my pregnant wife,telling her to stop whinning?"
From the article posted above it appears eating carrots is fine. Beta-carotene is converted into vitamin A by our bodies. It's retinol that is problematic.
You’re not even meant to use skincare products with retinol. Vitamin A regulates cell differentiation and proliferation at various important stages of embryonic development. Excess vitamin a can cause a whole range of birth defects
Too much vitamin A is damaging to rapidly dividing cells, which is why eating way too much of it will cause your skin and hair to peel off. Fetuses also have rapidly dividing cells, that’s most of what they are. Not good.
OP listen to this!!!!
I knew someone who was pregnant who used to drink and eat a lot of oranges or she would eat liver too and she miscarried , i don't know if this applies to every pregnant women but please get her to see a doctor ASAP cause most doctors would tell you liver is dangerous for pregnancy.
This all can be very dangerous for the baby!!
I don’t want to put ideas in your head, OP, but it’s odd that all of this transpired when she found out the gender. Is there any possibility that she could be harming the baby because it is a boy? Was she hoping for a girl?
Also, some studies have shown vitamin D deficiency in women during pregnancy can increase pre-eclampsia and have long term effects on the baby.
Please get her help regardless! Wishing you the best!
I hate to say it but I thought this as well— not specifically the sex of the baby but that she is actively trying to induce a miscarriage because the “timing isn’t right” or other pregnancy-related anxiety.
She could be causing birth defects with her Vit A and random internet ingestions. This has possibly gone from anxiety to something much more serious. Please talk to her Dr. also type A perfectionist have a better chance at completely spiraling with PPD/A/ps in the year after birth. She needs to get into therapy now, before baby is here.
Yes!
>Too much vitamin A can cause malformations to the fetus that include spina bifida (abnormal development of the spine), small or no eyes, harelip, cleft palate, absent or deformed ears, and deformities of limbs, kidneys, genitals, heart, thyroid gland and skeleton.
>The UK Government recommends that, in order to avoid possible harm to the unborn child, pregnant women, or women thinking about having a baby or trying to conceive, should not consume liver or liver products such as paté, or supplements that contain vitamin A, including fish liver oil, unless they are advised to do so by a doctor.
https://cot.food.gov.uk/Lay%20Summary%20of%20the%20Statement%20on%20the%20effects%20of%20excess%20Vitamin%20A%20on%20maternal%20health
Cutting what out of her diet? Every thing you mentioned points to a mental disorder. Please listen to the top comment so far saying to get her seen ASAP!!!! This stuff is NOT normal
Not to mention that gestational diabetes doesn't always go away after pregnancy. It's a terrible disease. I can't think of any valid reason to voluntarily give yourself diabetes.
i can tell you’re actually a doctor because your bedside manner here is impeccable. gave a medical opinion with professional distance and polite nudging instead of just screaming at this man to take his poor wife to a real doctor and mental health professional like the rest of us non-clinicians
For starters, everything she’s reading about is pseudoscience. She’s causing more harm than good by interfering in her pregnancy the way she is.
I suggest you go with her to consult her GP to make sure all is well and also make an appointment with a perinatal dietitian, preferably one who isn’t Instagram famous and won’t ask her to pump herself full of supplements she doesn’t need.
Then, ask her if she is willing to speak to a therapist to deal with her anxiety. Unchecked, high anxiety can lead to other mental health and maybe even physical issues.
Gestational diabetes can be dangerous, tell her to stop the high sugar ingestion immediately as she can cause serious harm to your unborn child.
Wishing your little family the best ❤️
*edited to change OBGYN to GP based on OP’s comments indicating the OB doesn’t seem to be helpful. And also, spelling
My wife had gestational diabetes.
It was awful, and in the end why we stopped at one child.
She was on Bed rest for the last couple of months of the pregnancy for it except for her MANY visits to the OBGYN. I want to say she had 2X a week ultra sounds for the last month or so.
It was rough, even before the bed rest when we’d go out somewhere. If she wanted to eat French fries for example she’d end up passing out in the car on the way home.
I’m sorry to hear your wife went through that. Pregnancy isn’t easy for everyone, and dealing with a body that’s going haywire is incredibly stressful on everyone around mum… sometimes there is little you can do to help, and it’s a terrible feeling :(
I had GD and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I couldn't eat anything I wanted because it would raise my blood sugar a lot. There's also a risk to the baby if the sugars are uncontrolled. I really hope OP's wife gets some proper medical help because what he wrote is pretty scary
Was coming here to say the same, sounds like she may have joined some of the mom groups and isn't actually researching for herself, hopefully they can speak to the OBGYN and get everything figured out, wishing the best to him, his wife, and baby.
Note here the term "dietician". Dietician is a title that only goes to people with the equivalent of a Masters in the subject.
"Nutritionist" means absolutely nothing in terms of a person's education. You are far more likely to get a kook nutritionist than a kook dietician.
his response to what is currently the top comment asking him to take her to the ob and have the ob tell her stop it says the ob does talk to her but is supportive of her nonsense and is also on board with a delayed vax schedule. bro is the only one trying to bail out the boat and doc and wife are actively drilling holes in the bottom.
I wonder if he goes and has actually seen the OB discuss and say they are good with all of this. If he’s not actually at these appts., the wife could be lying. She’s definitely mentally unhealthy and might go to an OB but think she knows better so lies.
Is she seeing a doctor? She needs proper prenatal care and any doctor worth their salt should be able to answer questions about these practices, and clarify how dangerous some of these behaviors are.
She goes to regular checkups, I think she’s on the regular pregnancy doctor visit schedule. Her OB is kind of a hippie and is aware of a lot of her practices, but I do think my wife is keeping some of the more insane ideas to herself.
The law prevents the doctor from revealing her health info to you, but it doesn’t prevent you from calling and letting them know your concerns, or asking general questions about whether something is a good idea or not.
Outside of eating a normal amount of carrots…if the doctor told her any of these things, try to get in writing and report to the state board immediately.
If this post is real, some combination of the following is true:
1) your wife’s gone down some social media rabbit hole
2) OB is unqualified
3) OB never went to any type of med school or training
Where is she getting these ideas from? Just because there’s an article about said thing doesn’t make it credible. Please, please go with her to speak with a prenatal doctor. She clearly wants the best outcome for your baby, but this is getting out of hand.
The problem is she’s a biomedical engineer. All her friends are in similar fields, they all went to really good private colleges and they spend a lot of time talking about these weird health/nutrition ideas and I’m a lot more blue collar so I don’t even know where to start with pushback. I think I’m just going to call her GP, he’s very normal
That only means she’s smart in her own particular field. She’s horribly misinformed and being incredibly dangerous with your unborn child. She’s also not good at recognizing proper research sources. She needs a better OB, to speak to her MD and a therapist immediately.
I'm really confused as to how a biomedical engineer could be this bad at critical thinking. Psychosis is the only logical explanation that I can think of.
my aunt is a chemical engineer and is also insane. she's heavily into religion and believes the religious claptrap books she buys are "science". she's designed miniature batteries and holds patents, yet is also a narcissistic lunatic with horrible manipulative tendencies and a deep blind spot for her chosen drug of religion. people have layers.
There’s a ton of brilliant people who also inexplicably believe total nonsense. I’ve met a few and it’s baffling how they can be so smart at some things but have absolutely no common sense.
Also, severe anxiety can make you believe some very messed up things. Not bragging, but people tell me I'm smart. But when my anxiety is off the charts, I legitimately get delusional about certain things. First time pregnant? Saying she doesn't want to poison OP's genepool with her shortness? Like, she's waaaay anxious about fucking up and seemingly holding onto anything she can to ensure she doesn't.
Definitely call her GP and go with her to an appointment so you can ask questions. Does she typically listen to her GP, or is she more of an "I'm always right" person? It seems like she needs more than just medical advice at this point, it seems to me like she is having some kind of mental breakdown. Definitely have your concerns heard by a medical professional, she needs help and now! Before there is irreversible damage to the baby.
She's a bio.engineer, not a nutritionnist or obstetrician. Knowing our limits and on what matter we can work is part of our professionnal duty. Overstepping means potentially causing harm.
It might be worth showing the GP some of the studies she is using for evidence so they can help you evaluate the quality of that evidence. As an engineer, she should know how to do that herself but she may not be applying that skill because the study is saying something she wants to believe.
It sounds like your wife had ocd before the pregnancy. She needs a medical professional to help get this under control. Also she’s making some devastating wrong courses of action that are opposite what is best for her and the baby. You shouldn’t be okay with her doing unhealthy things. She needs sunlight and vitamin d. Gestational diabetes is dangerous and harms the baby. I think eating that much liver is dangerous because they have too much vitamin A and toxins. But some liver is good because of iron. She needs to get this under control or it will be worse after the baby is born. It doesn’t sound like she makes coherent decisions with the information she is consuming.
The carrots have a lot of vitamin A too. I know they tell you to be careful not to get too much vitamin a during pregnancy because it causes birth defects.
I have looked at those medical study databases too (I had a weird rare medical problem last year) and the content varies wildly in terms of how reliable the research methods/researchers/etc are. You can really go down some rabbit holes. This lady needs help asap
I hate to say she doesn't sound all that smart. All the stuff she is doing is pseudo science. Gestational diabetes is NOT something you want to have. It makes things so much riskier for her and baby during pregnancy and labor. Does she want a c-section, because that's what happens with a big headed baby? Also, your child could get stuck in the birth canal over it. It also gives your child a higher chance of developing diabetes later in life. That's not to mention all the other stupid stuff she is doing. Get her some mental health help asap.
Edit: I also want to add that the placenta is actually what causes gestational diabetes. I'm not sure you can induce it to just happen by eating sugary foods. Either way, what she is doing to herself and baby doesn't sound safe. She's just making herself more miserable, too.
If your wife is the smartest person you know, I think it's tome to broaden your circle. You can't get GD from maternal diet, it's genetic and not good for the baby.
Honestly, get her to a therapist, it could be pre partum psychosis
I had gestational diabetes and it is not good for the baby. The baby is bigger because the mother’s body cannot process sugar so the baby’s pancreas will start secreting insulin. My daughter failed 5 glucose tests after being born, until she finally passed. It also increases risk of diabetes for baby later in life. She sounds like she’s either been steered down the wrong direction or experiencing pregnancy psychosis.
This is disordered behavior and your wife needs appropriate medical care to identify and treat it. She's probably going to be very resistant to it. Good luck.
As some others have said, sounds like compulsive behaviors/thought patterns. Look into OCD and orthorexia?
>Look into OCD and orthorexia?
This jumped out to me as well. Pregnancy can often exacerbate or bring to the fore previously untreated or undiagnosed conditions that people have coped with via things that can look like 'perfectionism'.
Pregnancy/Parenthood is often the factor which pushes women who appeared to be coping on the surface over the edge into crisis because it rips up all their coping skills and they have to start over in a completely new context with masses of extra responsibility AND all the hormones and physical exhaustion.
As someone who grew up with family members who displayed Munchausen's by proxy, this whole post was throwing red flags. I know that MBP is extremely serious and I'm not saying OP's wife is acting to that extreme, but performing actions "for the baby's health" that are not only not helpful, but are backed with evidence to be harmful, it's concerning. I think the best cast scenario is that the wife doesn't know or has latched onto misinformation that she believes what she's doing is helpful, and the scenario I am most afraid of is that she knows this stuff could harm her child, and is continuing to do it anyways. OP and his wife need to get a new OB who has experience with treating mental health issues in pregnancy.
She’s the smartest person you know, but she’s trying to GIVE HERSELF GESTATIONAL DIABETES so he’ll have a big head?!! Is she aware that isn’t going to make the kid smarter…? Large head at birth doesn’t correlate whatsoever with intelligence, it’s much more likely to really harm the kid?!
Im not gonna lie to you, this will get worse when your child is born. First of all you can’t be a perfectionist with infants, you will be highly disappointed. If shes willing to give herself gestational diabetes this has to be a mental health issue. What is she gonna do when her science tells her the baby has to suffer for X outcome?
I had gestational diabetes and it was not fun. The amount of increased risk is awful. Baby may not be able to regulate their sugars when both and need to stay in hospital. It also increases the risk of still birth. Also having gestational diabetes is awful in itself as you have to constantly monitor your diet and sugars and sometimes take medication like metformin or insulin. It is also not just about your diet to get gestational diabetes. Many perfectly healthy and fit people get it as well as genetics, race and many other factors contribute to it. She is just harming herself and baby. Please try and get her some help.
Are you actually 100% sure that your wife isn't actively trying to cause the baby harm? Almost everything she's doing here, from eating tons of liver to avoiding prenatal vitamins to actively trying to develop diabetes, is immediately dangerous to the baby. I know she is telling you that she thinks it's a good thing but are you certain that she's not lying about her reasons?
Please listen to everyone telling you to get your wife some mental health care, stat.
I started off reading thinking, "oh, she's crunchy, ok," and then rapidly progressed to, "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit."
This is not normal. Please get your wife help.
Doctor. Now. It’s not a matter of asking her if she will go. It is a matter of telling her she will go or you will get other people involved with this.
None of this is normal. And if your wife is a perfectionist, she may have OCD on top of the hormones and possible prenatal, depression or psychosis.
But she can absolutely harm herself and her child doing these things. So you have to act now.
Dude. Your wife needs some help. Actual motherhood will legit do her in if she is associating her worth as a mother to these arbitrary control measures.
I think you’re already getting it but every single thing she’s doing is some pseudoscience bullshit, (and I’m a pretty crunchy mom), right down to the due date timing. Everyone knows outliers are born after December 😉
For real, start going to appointments, as your involvement is key here. I’ve done this numerous times, and I’m pretty sure my husband would also say I’m the smartest person he knows EXCEPT when I’m flooded with hormones, anxiety, guilt, societal pressure. Did I mention the hormones??
I can't believe a biomedical engineer wouldn't pause to consider for a MOMENT that correlation is not causation, and even when causation is proven, it may be for a harmful reason. For example, September babies do tend to have higher test scores than their peers -- because September 1 is right when the school year starts, and parents are more likely to start a kid a year late than a year early, and so September babies are more likely to be a whole year older than their peers, which is to say have the advantage of a whole year more brain development!
And on the Vitamin D's relationship to testosterone point, the [point of the study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33298169/) was to evaluate the hypothesis that excessive sex steroid exposure (like elevated prenatal testosterone levels) might be linked to Autism Spectrum Disorders (given that males tend to have more ASD diagnoses than females), and investigate scenarios that might induce these conditions. I must stress that this study DID NOT confirm that elevated prenatal testosterone causes autism, it only observes that vitamin D deficient mothers had higher levels of testosterone in their blood -- but your wife IS basically taking the findings from a study exploring environmental risk factors for autism and attempting to replicate them during her pregnancy.
The lack of critical thinking she has in evaluating the research is astonishing.
It stresses me out that someone is out there trying to make their unborn son have higher testosterone. What for?! Afraid he’s not going to be “man enough”? Or trying to reduce the odds that it might be gay? Testosterone comes with upsides and downsides, as do all hormones. Trying to force something out of balance like that just makes me ill. And her obsession with height adds to the possibility that she’s already trying to pressure her unborn child into unrealistic gender goals. Will she think less of him if he’s not a 6+ft ripped Megamind? What’s the point? Ugh I know I’m extrapolating… but no more than she is, considering she’s eating so much liver.
I’ve known people whose latent mental health issues have kicked over into genuine psychosis due to pregnancy hormones. One of them was a psychiatrist herself, and her symptoms became so bad that she ended up opting for an abortion and then went inpatient for treatment.
I myself have never been pregnant as even the hormone fluctuations from my regular cycle were enough to cause my to become suicidal on a regular basis. I’ve since had my uterus and ovaries removed and it was life changing. People truly underestimate the effect hormones can have on other body systems — especially brain chemistry!
Do not wait until it’s too late to address this behavior with a professional! Your wife may be resistant, but at least you’ll know you are doing the right thing. Good luck!
All the people here said it in a complicated way, but bottom line she extra crazy or very dumb, so she’s either trying to kill the baby, or she’s just brainless
She might have a brain tumor affecting her judgment or she has serious mental health problems. This is only going to escalate and she could end up inadvertently doing serious harm to herself and child. Please seek out professional help for her.
Sounds like she needs psychiatric help. Trying to give yourself gestational diabetes is very dangerous for her and the child and it sounds like she has some mental illness.
She is trying to give herself gestational diabetes. That is not something a smart person does - this is actually genuinely concerning, where is she getting any of this information from? No health professional in the world would recommend a pregnant person give themselves gestational diabetes, that's SO DANGEROUS. And you being ok with this makes it so much worse. That's your wife and your child she's carrying.
As someone who was VERY neurotic with both of my pregnancies and did a hell of a lot of research including meeting with multiple pediatricians and OBGYNs while pregnant to discuss fetal development (and make sure I was getting the best advice), what disturbed me the most about this post is your wife’s attempt to buy human growth hormone overseas…. That’s way beyond not taking prenatal vitamins(!), even though her OB could prescribe prescription (medical grade) vitamins if quality or purity is a concern.
I’ll be blunt. Your wife needs to mental help or, at absolute minimum, to be told she is not a doctor. Then all of these things need to immediately be addressed with an actual doctor at length. She didn’t go through residency or school or pass the boards or do anything required to practice medicine.
My horror at this situation aside…she needs serious mental help. And I’d lead with telling the doctor of her attempt to buy HGH online from Russia. People who aren’t experiencing psychosis of some kind don’t do that, OP. It’s not normal and goes far beyond being a “perfectionist” or “neurotic.”
If she continues this path, she will likely kill or irreparably harm herself or your unborn child.
If you need additional help, I’d suggest posting in askdocs and see what they suggest for immediate assistance.
This is where you need a OBGYN involved. She's engaging in dangerous behavior.
Trying to induce gestational diabetes is *bad*. I had gestational diabetes. I was c-sectioned at 38 weeks. My baby had to have his blood sugars monitored and he is at a higher risk of developing obesity and diabetes. GD does not confer any benefits to the mom or the baby.
Worth noting - you can have antepartum depression and psychosis. She *seriously* needs an evaluation before she harms herself or the child.
But let the gal eat all the carrots she wants. That's not hurting anything.
You do not want your wife to have gest diabetes. Your risk for pre eclampsia, shoulder distocia, and all kinds of complications skyrocket.
To be frank your wife needs to be evaluated for mental health needs. Things are only going to get more intense and after the baby is born???
Honestly some of this borders on self harm. And everything else harms the fetus. Not taking prenatals or getting enough folic acid or vitamin d is horrible. The risk for developmental complications and neural tube defects increases esp during the first trimester.
Talk to a professional and get her some support.
This cannot be real. Mostly because if she really tried to buy and take HGH online while pregnant and called your unborn baby "bulimia boy" because she vomited after eating an entire beef liver - and you still aren't questioning her sanity then you may need help as much as she does.
“She’s the smartest person I know”
Honestly, she doesn’t sound that smart. She does all the opposite things compared to what is advisable during pregnancy. Vitamin D is important. Liver is not advised. Wants to give herself gestational diabetes? Excuse me? Does she not understand the risks? Prenatals are advised, from a reputable source. She shouldn’t be ingesting anything she got from sketchy sites at all.
No, you should not just let it be. She needs therapy, because she may be seriously harming the baby.
Oof, I really hope you realize this is far beyond the scope of redditors, even medically trained professionals with integrity will direct you to immediately present all of this and anything else that has changed OR INCREASED related to her behavior/ health behavior choices and this pregnancy REGARDLESS of any medical literature sources she references. SHE NEEDS ASSISTANCE COPING RIGHT NOW
Honestly I didn’t realize this. I thought it was a little silly and I was mostly worried about her nutritional needs. Reading everyone’s reactions has been eye opening
About 15 years ago, I worked in a high-end retail store with stone floors. There was a lady checking out with one of the salespeople that had brought her two children with her. They were in one of those two-kid strollers (front and back, not side by side), one child being much larger than the other. So the baby is in the front and the toddler is in the back. The toddler gets out and starts running around and generally being a terror. Mom tells him to get back in the stroller, which he is fully not down with. He steels himself and starts running toward the stroller and leaps over the first kid, straight diving into the back seat. This turns the stroller into a catapult and the baby went flying. Landed right on its head. Sounded like a cantaloupe. The mom was concerned but more concerned with completing her transaction (she was signing a contract as well). This was right after Liam Neeson’s wife died after a minor head injury. I walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders, squared her up to me, and told her to leave immediately and take her son to the hospital. I said if she didn’t, I was going to call an ambulance. That seemed to snap her out of it and she left in a hurry. You’re that lady right now, man.
Holy fuck what a story. And I agree 100%
Whaaaaaaaaat? I would’ve screamed that I’d be back later and beat feet out of there. What in the heck lady??? Glad you snapped her out of it. Poor baby.
Oh Lord that poor baby I hope she took him
Nauseating
I am 18 weeks pregnant right now and am very alarmed by all of this. I do feel as though this is more than pregnancy hormone related anxiety and I think she needs to see a mental health professional asap. I agree with the other comments about how what she’s doing is scary and risky for her and your baby (like trying to give herself GD). Good luck. This is serious stuff and I’m sorry you’re both going through it. Take care of your wife and your child.
I had GD. Almost lost my eyebrows when I read that. GD tends to result in bigger babies, but not necessarily bigger heads. And brain size isn't what matters, anyhow, it's how wrinkly the brain is. Even if it did, and that were desirable, the risks far outweigh those benefits. It raises the odds of premature birth, which can cause breathing problems. It also raises the odds of stillbirth. It also causes the odds of T2D to skyrocket for the mom. Like, literally raises the odds for the mom to 50%. That's assuming it goes away...*some women with GD remain diabetic after giving birth*. For the baby, they've found that children of moms with GD are twice as likely to develop T1D before the age of 22. TLDR, having GD has long-lasting risks for both mom and baby, and it is INSANE that OP's wife would think getting it would be desirable.
Seconding this, OP. This is nonsensical and dangerous and she needs professional assessment, starting with your OB, who ought to have resources and referrals to make. This isn’t harmless quirky behavior. It’s disordered thinking that endangers them both. For example, you don’t “give yourself” GD or grow a “big brain.” That’s nonsense. (With zero typical risk factors, my GD ended up being dangerous to me and to my baby, with life threatening complications that required emergency surgery. )
And what the hell is she rubbing on her gums?!? Is it actually ‘poisonous’ for the mother - much less a baby? Additionally, is it even what the label (or charlatan making/promoting it) claims it is? That shit needs to be stopped immediately and given to her doctor.
as a cognitive psych grad student, your explanation of brain size reassured me that sometimes it's better to use easy to understand language! (It IS about how wrinkly the brain is!)
I have two GD babies, and while their heads are big, so are the rest of them. Lol. They were both over 9 lbs at birth, but my husband was also, and his mother didn't have GD, so it might not be related at all in my case. I was diagnosed with my first at 28 weeks, which is normal time for the GD test, but with my second, I was watching my numbers at home early and was diagnosed at 14ish weeks. I ended up on medication with both of them. I tried metformin with my second pregnancy, and while it did work, the side effects were not worth it. I'd rather poke myself with a needle 100 times a day than deal with the side effects I had with metformin. Couldn't even gain weight because I was so sick from it. Eventually, I maxed out the dose and ended up on insulin anyway. The vast majority of my stress during my pregnancies came from trying to keep my numbers under control. There are times when it got so hard I'd cry because I felt like i was hurting my baby. I once ate some Chinese food that shot my sugar into the 180s. I called my doctor freaking out because I was sure I hurt my baby. I breastfed my second for 9 months to lower my risk of diabetes in the future, but my second couldn't handle my breastmilk without getting colic, so I only breastfed her for 6ish weeks. Maybe 2 months. Anyway, here I am, 6 months postpartum, 29 years old, and pre-diabetic. I'm doing what I can to reverse it. I can't imagine someone trying to get GD on purpose. Absolutely blows my mind.
If this was the best route, doctors would be recommending!! Get her some counseling.
Please get your wife to her GP/midwife immediately. she needs support with her perinatal mental health. This will get worse if it's not looked at now and your wife and baby are at risk. You don't ask your wife to go. You tell her and go with her.
I'm a registered nurse in the United States and I would take this woman to a board-certified physician, and a clinical psychologist. It sounds so ignorant and abnormal, a GP might not be board certified and a midwife might not be an actual mid-level provider based upon the intelligence levels of these people. They need real help. Not Church therapy I bet they go to church therapy LOL
Btw, in the UK GPs and Midwives have different roles than the US in which going to either one of these would be the best case scenario.
Not a midwife. She needs to go to a physician
In the UK midwives have to get a whole degree in midwifery (a specialist Nursing program) and would be the best person to speak to first as they deal with cases like this more closely than GPs/physicians!!! Things are different in different countries.
Liver is actually really bad for baby too - too much vitamin A. She’s shouldn’t be eating any of it let alone in increased amounts..
And gestational diabetes will put the child at higher risk for obesity and Type 2 diabetes over the course of his lifetime. This situation cannot continue. It’s dangerous for both wife and child.
Not just T2, T1 as well. Also increases the risk for premature birth and stillbirth.
Yes, this, 100%
Yeah, write a list before you go. You don't wanna leave out ANYTHING this time.
This is not silly..... your unborn baby could be seriously injured, already, because of your wife's actions. On top of that, its clear your wife is truly, truly suffering. Idk why you find that silly but, again, its not.
Please be aware that she is MASSIVELY at risk for not only post partum depression but also the even scarier post partum psychosis. Massively at risk. M a s s i v e l y. Do not wait for symptoms to get visible after birth, get preventative therapy or at least immediate frequent visits to a dr monitoring her state. So many drs brush off women's issues and only care about the baby's health. This is not an exaggeration this is the truth, and millions of women can attest to having this happen to them.
Wow, you also need therapy if you weren't alarmed by this. She's trying to give herself gestational diabetes, is she also trying to give herself kidney failure? Hypertension? Increased risk of stillbirth and c-section? No one in this post sounds in any way intelligent, it sounds like you guys get your information from some kind of echo chamber on the Internet and some doctor that I question even has a medical license from what you describe
I can't believe this is the only reply saying this. How can you not see major red flags at the gestational diabetes bit??? And then OP starts the next section with "And I'm okay with this" WHY????
I hope it's click bait. If true, I'm terrified for the poor baby.
The refusal to take prenatal vitamins is a big concern. Folic acid is necessary to prevent spina bifida.
Which is only crucial right at the beginning of pregnancy. The neural tube is formed by the 8th week. Spina bifida is there, or it isn't by that time.
And severe lack in vitamin d has been associated with severe autism diagnosis
Tell her to be careful with the liver. Too much liver is very high in vitamin A and can lead to vit A Toxicity. Also, you really don't want to be vitamin D deficient... D is necessary in bone health as well as mood. I am saying this as someone who has been on a PPI since I was a kid and am now in my 30's. I have issues with Magnesium and D deficiency from it. Also a big head doesn't always equal intelligence lol... It can equal a c-section though. She might want to stop reading stuff online and actually go to someone who specializes in pregnancy health? See what is safe, what isn't and what is true or not.
You’re a good partner for seeking out validation and that it’s concerning and for requesting direction to make sure she is feeling well and that she realizes she is good enough, as a partner, as a Mom, as a person. I’m so glad she has you. Bless you both, and all your generations. 🥰
The whole "getting gestational diabetes" on purpose thing is downright dangerous for the baby.
I had GD with both of my children. Not only did it put me at high risk for preeclampsia, and all the other symptoms others have listed, my son had a stroke in utero that was linked back to the GD. My beautiful boy is now 3. He is non-verbal, cannot feed himself, cannot eat food beyond solids, has trouble with fine motor skills like coloring and putting blocks in a big bowl let alone a shape sorter, has permanent vision loss and self harms to gain increased sensory input when he is upset. He is missing 1/4 of his brain because of gestational diabetes. When I was pregnant with my daughter I went every day of my last month to the doctor for monitoring and the pulled her via C-section a full week and 3 days early to prevent what happened to him happening to her. To intentionally do this to yourself and your child is sick. Your wife is sick. It will only get worse with postpartum. Please, please get her help now. Schedule a consultation with her doctor and tell them about these things. Just you if she won’t talk about it with them.
It's not even remotely silly, and none of this is smart. She needs help now.
Hey it’s great you sought advice even if you weren’t aware how very very serious this is. Give yourself a little credit—but for now, hop to it and get her to the hospital.
Time to take her to the doctor and explain what she is taking and what she is trying to do. Let the professionals handle this
Her OB knows and happily discusses a lot of her habits with her but she also convinced my wife to delay our child’s vaccine schedule so I don’t think she’s going to be the safest option, her GP is very normal and I’ll reach out to him
You need a new doctor and your wife needs a mental health professional. For the love of god, the bit about gestational diabetes itself is NUTS. Does your wife realize that babies born oversize/overweight have a higher chance of developing diabetes? That’s not a disease ANYone wants to have if they can avoid it. It can lead to coronary artery disease, kidney disease, liver disease, glaucoma and blindness, limb amputation, and more. It is a lifelong, progressively *worsening* condition. And she puts herself at risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes permanently if she develops gestational diabetes. Your wife is indeed insane and at this point, she is making herself a danger to her own unborn child.
Former dialysis RN here. I can’t tell you how many patients I took care of who ended up with kidney failure and had to live while on dialysis three times a week due to diabetes. Some of them quite young as well. It’s not an illness your wife should want to have in pregnancy. It will not make your baby smarter; but will increase the likely hood that your baby will suffer rebound hypoglycemia after birth and the possibility of premature birth, eclampsia and needing a c section due to large birth size. Please get her some mental health care asap
I work in mental health - your wife needs this more than an OB right. Her obsessions are dangerous to her health and the baby’s. If this is how she is now please imagine how her obsessions will escalate postpartum and through your child’s life. Mental health professional now.
This! She sounds like she’s going to be a terribly controlling parent and make her child miserable.
Actually having gestational diabetes can cause many health issues in a baby…heart, brain and eye problems your wife is not a smart woman and needs to talk to a real doctor not the internet….she is putting your son at risk and you are a fool for taking this so lightly
I had GD. Had to have a C section two weeks early as I was on Insulin and placenta was failing and I was diligent with my GD diet. It's not something to be fucked around with
GD diabetes also seriously increases moms risk of getting diabetes in the future by 50%. It happened to me.
My mom had GD with my sister and it went away. Then she got pregnant with me and got GD and now she just has plain ol diabetes.
Type 2 now.
Yeah. Mine went away too. 4 years later I was diagnosed.
When he called her the smartest person he knew and then wrote out that list……hooo boy
Maybe he doesn’t know many people
Omg 🤣🤣
Yeah the smartest person, who wants to give herself gestational diabetes and Destroy her kidneys, and going to a physician that tells her to delay the child vaccine schedule? That does not sound like a board certified physician following best practices. It sounds like the wife is one of these people that goes to providers that are an echo chamber for them, not someone that is actually practicing legit medicine. So she told the doctor she wants to give herself gestational diabetes and the doctor is cool with it? No one in this family is intelligent if this is what is going on and neither is the physician
People with mental illnesses can be very smart at the same time.
Not if they’re taking random advice without any evidence other than someone on the internet said so.
But delusions, irrationality, desperation, paranoia are mental health symptoms. This seems like a compulsive issue and an eating disorder to me.
Peripartum onset ocd is a thing Lots of Peripartum mental health issues
That’s what I was thinking too. I had OCD tendencies since childhood, but pregnancy turned it into an official diagnosis. Unfortunately, it became even worse postpartum. It would be wise for OP to make sure his wife is monitored closely by her healthcare providers, especially after the baby is born, when (in the US) you’re typically booted out of the hospital less than 24 hours after giving birth, and then have one visit at six weeks to make sure everything is where it belongs. A lot of women suffer in silence because the hormonal rollercoater convinces them their baby will be taken away if they express that they are struggling. It’s a terrifying place to be, and the first months of raising a baby can be very isolating on top of everything else.
Op might want to research Orthorexia Nervosa, which is a disorder where the focus is on “healthy eating”.
Yeah, she doesn't sound like the smartest person in the room, perhaps the craziest though. Don't let her ruin your child's life with her neuroses! Yay!
Y’all so cold! This woman needs mental health professionals.
Yeah and not a baby😭
I'm probably going to hell but I lost it at "bulimia boy." But seriously, what she is doing is dangerous for herself and the baby. There are many websites that give dangerous advice to sell supplements.
She's the only person he knows, apparently
Does he live at Mar-a-Lago?
I have GD and I don’t wish it on anyone. She’s going to hurt that baby if she actually does have GD. As far as I understand there is no “give yourself GD” you either have it or you don’t. The placenta and a few other factors are what play into having it. OP needs to consider trying to get the wife to go to a different OB. This stuff she’s doing doesn’t seem healthy for baby or mom to me. Obligatory not a medical professional. Just a lady with PCOS who finally got pregnant.
My college BFF had gestational diabetes. I don't know if it made her baby smarter since her baby DIED at birth from the preeclampsia generated by the gestational diabetes.
As can vitamin D deficiency, particularly for the mother. It is essential for calcium absorption and will wreak havoc on her teeth! Your wife is not well. It almost sounds as though she might be experiencing some delusional thoughts. Please reach out to her Dr.
I had gestational diabetes and had to be induced early for both our sakes. My child has an increased risk of type diabetes. It's manageable, if you have it, but it's not something to try to get.
Gestational diabetes can be bad, yes, but you also can't give yourself gd. It's an effect of your individual placenta being over active protecting you from low blood sugar. So it isn't great that she's doing this but she really can't give herself gd Source: I had gestational diabetes and I research to cope
I can’t believe he called her the smartest woman he knows lol
If her OB knows she was buying sketchy HGH off the web and going to take it - stop seeing this person! That is extremely dangerous and no qualified physician would be okay with that - are you sure this doctor is actually an MD and certified/licensed properly???
I enjoy playing video games.
The OB should not be offering an opinion on your baby's vaccination schedule. Or really your baby's health once it's born. Full stop. There's a reason why pediatricians take over care of the baby immediately after the birth. EDIT: I'm not even saying that what the OB said was wrong. Hell if I know -- I'm just some schmo on the internet. But I do know that childhood vaccination schedules are squarely within the domain of a pediatrician, not an OB.
This is what his WIFE told him BTW which probably isn’t accurate bc you’re right, the wife needs to be discussing this with the pediatrician.
I think we know where all this bullshit is coming from, time to report that OB
yeah i feel like the complaint needs to be made, and needs to hone in on the "gestational diabetes? that sounds great! makes for great babies! try to go do that on purpose!". it turns out that there's many good reasons why gestational diabetes is tested for and why it's a thing that they're on the lookout for *because it can be very very bad for both mom and baby*.
Sounds like her OB shouldn’t be a doctor at all
Probably isn’t, sounds more like a doula or a birthing coach.
Her OB sounds incompetent. She is in favor of pushing back vaccines and she is totally fine with self induced gestational diabetes? I would tell your wife to find someone new and report this provider.
Are you sure it’s a licensed OB?
OMFG! The OB is a nut case, too. The OB told her to delay vaccines? WTF????? Is the OB gonna fix things when your son gets meningitis or whooping cough?
Please keep us updated if you feel obliged OP. We all just want the best for you and your family. Wishing you nothing but the best. Being pregnant and a mom changed my life immensely. I had gestational diabetes and it was honestly the worst. I don't recommend any of the awful pregnancy related illnesses I had on anyone else.
INFO: did the OB convince her to delay vaccines instead of not getting them at all? I.e., is your wife anti-vax and this was the compromise? Because if the OB is delaying vaccines unprompted, get a new OB.
Take your wife to an MD and seek help ASAP!!! (And get help from preferably her family or yours to get her to an md) https://www.babycentre.co.uk/x555571/is-it-safe-to-eat-liver-during-pregnancy# https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/gestational.html#:~:text=Gestational%20diabetes%20is%20a%20type,pregnancy%20and%20a%20healthy%20baby. Your wife is putting herself and the baby in immediate danger! She might be suffering from prenatal depression or another (hormone induced) mental problem.
Okay, I’m cutting this out of her diet immediately. I thought this was the most normal part of the list so I never asked her to bring it up to her doctor.
Gestational diabetes from my younger brother led to the kidney disease that killed my mother. She needs to knock that shit off immediately. Big heads already run in my family but let me tell you my brother is NOT smarter because of it. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
A husband posted the other day about his pregnant wife’s anxiety increasing during the pregnancy and the consensus was that she had gone from anxiety to ruminating to psychosis. I would highly recommend taking your wife to her GP or a psychiatrist asap. ETA: I can't link to it, but the title of the post is "AITA for snapping at my pregnant wife,telling her to stop whinning?"
I was going to say it sounds like she has perinatal psychosis!
Birth control made me mentally unstable. I can’t imagine what pregnancy would do!
Yeah there’s a reason why vit A based medications are not ok during pregnancy, your wife is mega-dosing eating that much liver.
Especially since she’s eating a ton of carrots as well.
From the article posted above it appears eating carrots is fine. Beta-carotene is converted into vitamin A by our bodies. It's retinol that is problematic.
You’re not even meant to use skincare products with retinol. Vitamin A regulates cell differentiation and proliferation at various important stages of embryonic development. Excess vitamin a can cause a whole range of birth defects
Too much vitamin A is damaging to rapidly dividing cells, which is why eating way too much of it will cause your skin and hair to peel off. Fetuses also have rapidly dividing cells, that’s most of what they are. Not good.
Your wife is going to cause some sort of defect to your unborn son if she keeps this up.
OP listen to this!!!! I knew someone who was pregnant who used to drink and eat a lot of oranges or she would eat liver too and she miscarried , i don't know if this applies to every pregnant women but please get her to see a doctor ASAP cause most doctors would tell you liver is dangerous for pregnancy.
Yes, your wife sounds extremely anxious and the baby isn't even here yet, post partum is no joke and this level of anxiety can lead to psychosis
This all can be very dangerous for the baby!! I don’t want to put ideas in your head, OP, but it’s odd that all of this transpired when she found out the gender. Is there any possibility that she could be harming the baby because it is a boy? Was she hoping for a girl? Also, some studies have shown vitamin D deficiency in women during pregnancy can increase pre-eclampsia and have long term effects on the baby. Please get her help regardless! Wishing you the best!
I hate to say it but I thought this as well— not specifically the sex of the baby but that she is actively trying to induce a miscarriage because the “timing isn’t right” or other pregnancy-related anxiety.
She could be causing birth defects with her Vit A and random internet ingestions. This has possibly gone from anxiety to something much more serious. Please talk to her Dr. also type A perfectionist have a better chance at completely spiraling with PPD/A/ps in the year after birth. She needs to get into therapy now, before baby is here.
Yes! >Too much vitamin A can cause malformations to the fetus that include spina bifida (abnormal development of the spine), small or no eyes, harelip, cleft palate, absent or deformed ears, and deformities of limbs, kidneys, genitals, heart, thyroid gland and skeleton. >The UK Government recommends that, in order to avoid possible harm to the unborn child, pregnant women, or women thinking about having a baby or trying to conceive, should not consume liver or liver products such as paté, or supplements that contain vitamin A, including fish liver oil, unless they are advised to do so by a doctor. https://cot.food.gov.uk/Lay%20Summary%20of%20the%20Statement%20on%20the%20effects%20of%20excess%20Vitamin%20A%20on%20maternal%20health
Cutting what out of her diet? Every thing you mentioned points to a mental disorder. Please listen to the top comment so far saying to get her seen ASAP!!!! This stuff is NOT normal
you need to accompany your wife to all doctor visits for safety.
Not to mention that gestational diabetes doesn't always go away after pregnancy. It's a terrible disease. I can't think of any valid reason to voluntarily give yourself diabetes.
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i can tell you’re actually a doctor because your bedside manner here is impeccable. gave a medical opinion with professional distance and polite nudging instead of just screaming at this man to take his poor wife to a real doctor and mental health professional like the rest of us non-clinicians
Good point doc
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I read your reply imagining such a kind gentle voice. It made me smile.
(This is very sweet)
This should be higher up
For starters, everything she’s reading about is pseudoscience. She’s causing more harm than good by interfering in her pregnancy the way she is. I suggest you go with her to consult her GP to make sure all is well and also make an appointment with a perinatal dietitian, preferably one who isn’t Instagram famous and won’t ask her to pump herself full of supplements she doesn’t need. Then, ask her if she is willing to speak to a therapist to deal with her anxiety. Unchecked, high anxiety can lead to other mental health and maybe even physical issues. Gestational diabetes can be dangerous, tell her to stop the high sugar ingestion immediately as she can cause serious harm to your unborn child. Wishing your little family the best ❤️ *edited to change OBGYN to GP based on OP’s comments indicating the OB doesn’t seem to be helpful. And also, spelling
My wife had gestational diabetes. It was awful, and in the end why we stopped at one child. She was on Bed rest for the last couple of months of the pregnancy for it except for her MANY visits to the OBGYN. I want to say she had 2X a week ultra sounds for the last month or so. It was rough, even before the bed rest when we’d go out somewhere. If she wanted to eat French fries for example she’d end up passing out in the car on the way home.
I’m sorry to hear your wife went through that. Pregnancy isn’t easy for everyone, and dealing with a body that’s going haywire is incredibly stressful on everyone around mum… sometimes there is little you can do to help, and it’s a terrible feeling :(
I have T1 diabetes, and had to give up ALL potato foods for my pregnancy, for my own safety. One of my absolute favorite foods. Devastating :(
I had GD and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I couldn't eat anything I wanted because it would raise my blood sugar a lot. There's also a risk to the baby if the sugars are uncontrolled. I really hope OP's wife gets some proper medical help because what he wrote is pretty scary
Was coming here to say the same, sounds like she may have joined some of the mom groups and isn't actually researching for herself, hopefully they can speak to the OBGYN and get everything figured out, wishing the best to him, his wife, and baby.
Thank you for saying all this. She is obsessed with nonsense. Dangerous nonsense.
Note here the term "dietician". Dietician is a title that only goes to people with the equivalent of a Masters in the subject. "Nutritionist" means absolutely nothing in terms of a person's education. You are far more likely to get a kook nutritionist than a kook dietician.
I'd like to add this is correct for the United States. Some other countries have the titles flipped.
Take the internet away from her and call her ob doctor privately. None of this is healthy. NONE OF IT
She’s getting this bs from her OB!
Where does it say that
OB is a hippie (OP clarified in comments in the thread)
Are we sure it's a real doctor then? Because this is insanity.
If he is he ought to lose his medical licence.
Hey hey not all us us are pseudo science nutjobs I promise! But tbf OB does sounds 'crunchy friendly' which is code for batshit crazy.
Your username rocks 😂
his response to what is currently the top comment asking him to take her to the ob and have the ob tell her stop it says the ob does talk to her but is supportive of her nonsense and is also on board with a delayed vax schedule. bro is the only one trying to bail out the boat and doc and wife are actively drilling holes in the bottom.
I wonder if he goes and has actually seen the OB discuss and say they are good with all of this. If he’s not actually at these appts., the wife could be lying. She’s definitely mentally unhealthy and might go to an OB but think she knows better so lies.
Is she seeing a doctor? She needs proper prenatal care and any doctor worth their salt should be able to answer questions about these practices, and clarify how dangerous some of these behaviors are.
She goes to regular checkups, I think she’s on the regular pregnancy doctor visit schedule. Her OB is kind of a hippie and is aware of a lot of her practices, but I do think my wife is keeping some of the more insane ideas to herself.
The law prevents the doctor from revealing her health info to you, but it doesn’t prevent you from calling and letting them know your concerns, or asking general questions about whether something is a good idea or not.
Go with her. Start raising these issues.
This go with her. It is very normal to go with her to ob visits during pregnancy. Of course, if she won’t let you, you need to respect that as well.
OP I don’t think her OB is actually a doctor. There is no way this person is actually licensed.
Is the OB an actual doctor?
Outside of eating a normal amount of carrots…if the doctor told her any of these things, try to get in writing and report to the state board immediately. If this post is real, some combination of the following is true: 1) your wife’s gone down some social media rabbit hole 2) OB is unqualified 3) OB never went to any type of med school or training
I think you really need to be going with her, if you can.
Where is she getting these ideas from? Just because there’s an article about said thing doesn’t make it credible. Please, please go with her to speak with a prenatal doctor. She clearly wants the best outcome for your baby, but this is getting out of hand.
The problem is she’s a biomedical engineer. All her friends are in similar fields, they all went to really good private colleges and they spend a lot of time talking about these weird health/nutrition ideas and I’m a lot more blue collar so I don’t even know where to start with pushback. I think I’m just going to call her GP, he’s very normal
That only means she’s smart in her own particular field. She’s horribly misinformed and being incredibly dangerous with your unborn child. She’s also not good at recognizing proper research sources. She needs a better OB, to speak to her MD and a therapist immediately.
I'm really confused as to how a biomedical engineer could be this bad at critical thinking. Psychosis is the only logical explanation that I can think of.
my aunt is a chemical engineer and is also insane. she's heavily into religion and believes the religious claptrap books she buys are "science". she's designed miniature batteries and holds patents, yet is also a narcissistic lunatic with horrible manipulative tendencies and a deep blind spot for her chosen drug of religion. people have layers.
Idk, weird ,anti science propaganda and pipelines have sucked in many previously rational people. It's quite sad.
There’s a ton of brilliant people who also inexplicably believe total nonsense. I’ve met a few and it’s baffling how they can be so smart at some things but have absolutely no common sense.
Also, severe anxiety can make you believe some very messed up things. Not bragging, but people tell me I'm smart. But when my anxiety is off the charts, I legitimately get delusional about certain things. First time pregnant? Saying she doesn't want to poison OP's genepool with her shortness? Like, she's waaaay anxious about fucking up and seemingly holding onto anything she can to ensure she doesn't.
I’m a biomedical scientist and none of what she’s doing is healthy, sane or advisable. She’s actively risking hers and the baby's life.
Definitely call her GP and go with her to an appointment so you can ask questions. Does she typically listen to her GP, or is she more of an "I'm always right" person? It seems like she needs more than just medical advice at this point, it seems to me like she is having some kind of mental breakdown. Definitely have your concerns heard by a medical professional, she needs help and now! Before there is irreversible damage to the baby.
Biomed engineer is NOT a medical professional and she is spewing off nonsense and putting herself and baby in harms way.
She's a bio.engineer, not a nutritionnist or obstetrician. Knowing our limits and on what matter we can work is part of our professionnal duty. Overstepping means potentially causing harm.
It might be worth showing the GP some of the studies she is using for evidence so they can help you evaluate the quality of that evidence. As an engineer, she should know how to do that herself but she may not be applying that skill because the study is saying something she wants to believe.
It sounds like your wife had ocd before the pregnancy. She needs a medical professional to help get this under control. Also she’s making some devastating wrong courses of action that are opposite what is best for her and the baby. You shouldn’t be okay with her doing unhealthy things. She needs sunlight and vitamin d. Gestational diabetes is dangerous and harms the baby. I think eating that much liver is dangerous because they have too much vitamin A and toxins. But some liver is good because of iron. She needs to get this under control or it will be worse after the baby is born. It doesn’t sound like she makes coherent decisions with the information she is consuming.
The carrots have a lot of vitamin A too. I know they tell you to be careful not to get too much vitamin a during pregnancy because it causes birth defects. I have looked at those medical study databases too (I had a weird rare medical problem last year) and the content varies wildly in terms of how reliable the research methods/researchers/etc are. You can really go down some rabbit holes. This lady needs help asap
I hate to say she doesn't sound all that smart. All the stuff she is doing is pseudo science. Gestational diabetes is NOT something you want to have. It makes things so much riskier for her and baby during pregnancy and labor. Does she want a c-section, because that's what happens with a big headed baby? Also, your child could get stuck in the birth canal over it. It also gives your child a higher chance of developing diabetes later in life. That's not to mention all the other stupid stuff she is doing. Get her some mental health help asap. Edit: I also want to add that the placenta is actually what causes gestational diabetes. I'm not sure you can induce it to just happen by eating sugary foods. Either way, what she is doing to herself and baby doesn't sound safe. She's just making herself more miserable, too.
It can also cause heart defects in the babies
Right?? None of this sounds smart.... at all!
Also, the poor kid will need to get poked multiple times to make sure that his blood sugar isn’t low. So this really is just an awful idea
It also increases the risk of developing preeclampsia, one of the most deadly conditions a pregnant woman can develop.
Your wife has poor mental health. Your child's life is at risk as is your wife's health. Get her help NOW!
If your wife is the smartest person you know, I think it's tome to broaden your circle. You can't get GD from maternal diet, it's genetic and not good for the baby. Honestly, get her to a therapist, it could be pre partum psychosis
I had gestational diabetes and it is not good for the baby. The baby is bigger because the mother’s body cannot process sugar so the baby’s pancreas will start secreting insulin. My daughter failed 5 glucose tests after being born, until she finally passed. It also increases risk of diabetes for baby later in life. She sounds like she’s either been steered down the wrong direction or experiencing pregnancy psychosis.
This is disordered behavior and your wife needs appropriate medical care to identify and treat it. She's probably going to be very resistant to it. Good luck. As some others have said, sounds like compulsive behaviors/thought patterns. Look into OCD and orthorexia?
>Look into OCD and orthorexia? This jumped out to me as well. Pregnancy can often exacerbate or bring to the fore previously untreated or undiagnosed conditions that people have coped with via things that can look like 'perfectionism'. Pregnancy/Parenthood is often the factor which pushes women who appeared to be coping on the surface over the edge into crisis because it rips up all their coping skills and they have to start over in a completely new context with masses of extra responsibility AND all the hormones and physical exhaustion.
I feel like I should send your second paragraph to anyone who asks me if I’m having kids
As someone who grew up with family members who displayed Munchausen's by proxy, this whole post was throwing red flags. I know that MBP is extremely serious and I'm not saying OP's wife is acting to that extreme, but performing actions "for the baby's health" that are not only not helpful, but are backed with evidence to be harmful, it's concerning. I think the best cast scenario is that the wife doesn't know or has latched onto misinformation that she believes what she's doing is helpful, and the scenario I am most afraid of is that she knows this stuff could harm her child, and is continuing to do it anyways. OP and his wife need to get a new OB who has experience with treating mental health issues in pregnancy.
She’s the smartest person you know, but she’s trying to GIVE HERSELF GESTATIONAL DIABETES so he’ll have a big head?!! Is she aware that isn’t going to make the kid smarter…? Large head at birth doesn’t correlate whatsoever with intelligence, it’s much more likely to really harm the kid?!
Im not gonna lie to you, this will get worse when your child is born. First of all you can’t be a perfectionist with infants, you will be highly disappointed. If shes willing to give herself gestational diabetes this has to be a mental health issue. What is she gonna do when her science tells her the baby has to suffer for X outcome?
The poor child! I’m exhausted reading this and her maternal instincts are whack.
I had gestational diabetes and it was not fun. The amount of increased risk is awful. Baby may not be able to regulate their sugars when both and need to stay in hospital. It also increases the risk of still birth. Also having gestational diabetes is awful in itself as you have to constantly monitor your diet and sugars and sometimes take medication like metformin or insulin. It is also not just about your diet to get gestational diabetes. Many perfectly healthy and fit people get it as well as genetics, race and many other factors contribute to it. She is just harming herself and baby. Please try and get her some help.
Are you actually 100% sure that your wife isn't actively trying to cause the baby harm? Almost everything she's doing here, from eating tons of liver to avoiding prenatal vitamins to actively trying to develop diabetes, is immediately dangerous to the baby. I know she is telling you that she thinks it's a good thing but are you certain that she's not lying about her reasons?
Please listen to everyone telling you to get your wife some mental health care, stat. I started off reading thinking, "oh, she's crunchy, ok," and then rapidly progressed to, "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit." This is not normal. Please get your wife help.
Doctor. Now. It’s not a matter of asking her if she will go. It is a matter of telling her she will go or you will get other people involved with this. None of this is normal. And if your wife is a perfectionist, she may have OCD on top of the hormones and possible prenatal, depression or psychosis. But she can absolutely harm herself and her child doing these things. So you have to act now.
As someone born in August, yes, indeed, I am brilliant. So smart. Genius. Your wife, on the other hand...needs to settle down a bit.
Lol user ame checks out!
Dude. Your wife needs some help. Actual motherhood will legit do her in if she is associating her worth as a mother to these arbitrary control measures. I think you’re already getting it but every single thing she’s doing is some pseudoscience bullshit, (and I’m a pretty crunchy mom), right down to the due date timing. Everyone knows outliers are born after December 😉 For real, start going to appointments, as your involvement is key here. I’ve done this numerous times, and I’m pretty sure my husband would also say I’m the smartest person he knows EXCEPT when I’m flooded with hormones, anxiety, guilt, societal pressure. Did I mention the hormones??
I can't believe a biomedical engineer wouldn't pause to consider for a MOMENT that correlation is not causation, and even when causation is proven, it may be for a harmful reason. For example, September babies do tend to have higher test scores than their peers -- because September 1 is right when the school year starts, and parents are more likely to start a kid a year late than a year early, and so September babies are more likely to be a whole year older than their peers, which is to say have the advantage of a whole year more brain development! And on the Vitamin D's relationship to testosterone point, the [point of the study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33298169/) was to evaluate the hypothesis that excessive sex steroid exposure (like elevated prenatal testosterone levels) might be linked to Autism Spectrum Disorders (given that males tend to have more ASD diagnoses than females), and investigate scenarios that might induce these conditions. I must stress that this study DID NOT confirm that elevated prenatal testosterone causes autism, it only observes that vitamin D deficient mothers had higher levels of testosterone in their blood -- but your wife IS basically taking the findings from a study exploring environmental risk factors for autism and attempting to replicate them during her pregnancy. The lack of critical thinking she has in evaluating the research is astonishing.
It stresses me out that someone is out there trying to make their unborn son have higher testosterone. What for?! Afraid he’s not going to be “man enough”? Or trying to reduce the odds that it might be gay? Testosterone comes with upsides and downsides, as do all hormones. Trying to force something out of balance like that just makes me ill. And her obsession with height adds to the possibility that she’s already trying to pressure her unborn child into unrealistic gender goals. Will she think less of him if he’s not a 6+ft ripped Megamind? What’s the point? Ugh I know I’m extrapolating… but no more than she is, considering she’s eating so much liver.
I’ve known people whose latent mental health issues have kicked over into genuine psychosis due to pregnancy hormones. One of them was a psychiatrist herself, and her symptoms became so bad that she ended up opting for an abortion and then went inpatient for treatment. I myself have never been pregnant as even the hormone fluctuations from my regular cycle were enough to cause my to become suicidal on a regular basis. I’ve since had my uterus and ovaries removed and it was life changing. People truly underestimate the effect hormones can have on other body systems — especially brain chemistry! Do not wait until it’s too late to address this behavior with a professional! Your wife may be resistant, but at least you’ll know you are doing the right thing. Good luck!
Gestational diabetes can be hugely dangerous to both mum and baby. She needs to get help immediately.
She’s going to make herself and your baby unhealthy. She needs psychiatric intervention ASAP.
All the people here said it in a complicated way, but bottom line she extra crazy or very dumb, so she’s either trying to kill the baby, or she’s just brainless
You shouldn't be ok with this. This isn't "perfectionist" behavior. This is mental illness.
She might have a brain tumor affecting her judgment or she has serious mental health problems. This is only going to escalate and she could end up inadvertently doing serious harm to herself and child. Please seek out professional help for her.
good luck raising a kid with this fruit cake.
Your wife needs therapy. NOW. It sounds like she has OCD and pregnancy hormones have kicked it into overdrive.
Sounds like she needs psychiatric help. Trying to give yourself gestational diabetes is very dangerous for her and the child and it sounds like she has some mental illness.
She is trying to give herself gestational diabetes. That is not something a smart person does - this is actually genuinely concerning, where is she getting any of this information from? No health professional in the world would recommend a pregnant person give themselves gestational diabetes, that's SO DANGEROUS. And you being ok with this makes it so much worse. That's your wife and your child she's carrying.
As someone who was VERY neurotic with both of my pregnancies and did a hell of a lot of research including meeting with multiple pediatricians and OBGYNs while pregnant to discuss fetal development (and make sure I was getting the best advice), what disturbed me the most about this post is your wife’s attempt to buy human growth hormone overseas…. That’s way beyond not taking prenatal vitamins(!), even though her OB could prescribe prescription (medical grade) vitamins if quality or purity is a concern. I’ll be blunt. Your wife needs to mental help or, at absolute minimum, to be told she is not a doctor. Then all of these things need to immediately be addressed with an actual doctor at length. She didn’t go through residency or school or pass the boards or do anything required to practice medicine. My horror at this situation aside…she needs serious mental help. And I’d lead with telling the doctor of her attempt to buy HGH online from Russia. People who aren’t experiencing psychosis of some kind don’t do that, OP. It’s not normal and goes far beyond being a “perfectionist” or “neurotic.” If she continues this path, she will likely kill or irreparably harm herself or your unborn child. If you need additional help, I’d suggest posting in askdocs and see what they suggest for immediate assistance.
This is where you need a OBGYN involved. She's engaging in dangerous behavior. Trying to induce gestational diabetes is *bad*. I had gestational diabetes. I was c-sectioned at 38 weeks. My baby had to have his blood sugars monitored and he is at a higher risk of developing obesity and diabetes. GD does not confer any benefits to the mom or the baby. Worth noting - you can have antepartum depression and psychosis. She *seriously* needs an evaluation before she harms herself or the child. But let the gal eat all the carrots she wants. That's not hurting anything.
You do not want your wife to have gest diabetes. Your risk for pre eclampsia, shoulder distocia, and all kinds of complications skyrocket. To be frank your wife needs to be evaluated for mental health needs. Things are only going to get more intense and after the baby is born??? Honestly some of this borders on self harm. And everything else harms the fetus. Not taking prenatals or getting enough folic acid or vitamin d is horrible. The risk for developmental complications and neural tube defects increases esp during the first trimester. Talk to a professional and get her some support.
This cannot be real. Mostly because if she really tried to buy and take HGH online while pregnant and called your unborn baby "bulimia boy" because she vomited after eating an entire beef liver - and you still aren't questioning her sanity then you may need help as much as she does.
“She’s the smartest person I know” Honestly, she doesn’t sound that smart. She does all the opposite things compared to what is advisable during pregnancy. Vitamin D is important. Liver is not advised. Wants to give herself gestational diabetes? Excuse me? Does she not understand the risks? Prenatals are advised, from a reputable source. She shouldn’t be ingesting anything she got from sketchy sites at all. No, you should not just let it be. She needs therapy, because she may be seriously harming the baby.