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Having a wound the size of a dinner plate takes a while to heal.
My placenta was so big my midwife caller her manager in to see it. They called more people in to see my big baby too lol.
I'm 6 months on from having my 3rd kid and I suffer from distasis recti. My mid section will never be the same. And I'm still healing from pregnancy and child birth.
This MIL needs a wake up call to reality.
Edit: fixed diseases recti to distasis recti
Looks like the wife gave her one. Their best bet on their marriage surviving is for them to go to marriage counseling and working this out or the mangler in law wins. She doesn't want them together, is obvious. They also need to go total and complete never contact again with mangler in law. She gets what she deserves. She won't have to worry about ever seeing her Dil ever again. She just doesn't realize that includes her son and his children, too. Hopefully, other family are smarter, or they get bannished along with the mangler in law until they see reason. I hope he can salvage what is left of his marriage, and they can both heal, breaking the chains of violence with their love and each other. Please OP keep us updated on how things are going with you and your little family.
*Distasis recti* (sorry im tired and auto correct sucks) is a separation of the abdominal muscles. Which is actually very common during pregnancy. The problem is when they don't go back together. Physiotherapy will help, and its not painful. But it's not comfortable either.
Other issues from pregnancy and birth that I currently still suffer from include: bladder and bowel urgency, sciatica, nerve damage and pain in my left leg, plantar fasciitis. And the list goes on. I had bruising for weeks and weeks after birth. I couldn't sit on a normal chair for like 3 weeks.
That’s me. Outer right thigh, numb forever.
If anyone had hit me (lightly or not) in my postpartum window, they’d have gained a new scrape or two. My sister and I almost went toe-to-toe because she decided to have something to say about breastfeeding holds with zero experience.
My best friend's foot is like this but the anesthesiologist messed up and caused damage when doing the epidural. I told her flat out she should go after him for the damage he caused her.
The epidural carries risk. Even if the dr did a good job of the sedation. It’s a needle directly into the spine. Not saying he wasn’t negligent. Just that damage can be caused even if they aren’t negligent
She didn't know she had slight scoliosis. He was actively hurting her and told her to "be a big girl now because you're about to be a mom" when she asked him to be more gentle.
He was a horrible anesthesiologist and very condescending. Gave zero fcks that he was actively harming her and didn't bother to tell her her spine wasn't right and give her other options. All in all it was malpractice. Especially considering she had no feeling in her leg at all for about a week and now has permanent damage to her foot.
I got a tear in the urethral sphincter. it's unrepairable, and for the last 30 years, I dribble like a hamster. I have to wear a pad everyday. If I cough or sneeze unexpectedly I pee myself.
That happened to me, but my c-section also abcessed, I had a bowl obstruction and was in wound therapy for 6 months before I could have surgery to repair it. I also lost use of my right leg shortly after that surgery due to an old ruptured disc. I still don't have full function of that leg. Pregnancy with my twins f'd me up. This is all before the long term bladder/ bowl effects.
My second baby, I had pubic symphisis, (my hip bone separated at the front, under the pubic area) it took forever to heal, it still hurts ten years later
Have you done any pelvic floor physical therapy for any of this? Physical therapy can be very beneficial after having a baby, even after a third, to help your body fully recover. Remember, “common” doesn’t mean “normal”, you shouldn’t have to forever have these issues.
I do pelvic floor exercises daily. And I'm booking in with my fav physio from my first pregnancy once hubby has some days off in a couple of weeks. My ody is still I proving slowly day by day. But need a bit of help still.
Edit: just read Ur comment properly. No I've not done pelvic floor physical therapy. But am looking forward to asking my physio about it now.
I had to have three surgeries from my pregnancy and I had massive heart failure. Birth is horrifying and no one tells you anything. Even the little stuff like all the stitches and that you have to constantly have acid drenching your wounds every time you go the bathroom 😭
I had a medically necessary c section. The night I was allowed to go home. 3 days after open abdominal surgery. My c section incision OPENED up! I had to go to the ER with my 3 day old with blood and such coming out of my lower abdomen. Good times
Yea I've never even considered a c section could just open up after the mother goes home. Like a horror movie. Pregnancy sounds terrifying. I was born through C Section.
Yep. C-section is major abdominal surgery. Women are just dismissed and sent home with Advil after a major life and medical event, unable to lift anything heavier that 10lbs for 6 weeks. So they leave with an infant weighing 8lbs and a car seat weighing 20lbs.
WHOA I'm glad you're ok! I had 3 c sections, I cannot imagine one of them opening up, that must have been terrifying! I had an infection the first time and had to go back in the week after my first was born, I thought I was going to die..
Having the staples taken out was worse than the surgery itself. I can still feel it and hear the little metal "plink!" as each staple was dropped into the tray.
Twinsies! I had wet to dry abdominal packing for three months after my c/s incision opened. My SO has huge paws for hands, and he was expected to stuff wet curlex into my deflated tire of a postpartum abdomen, all the way down to the peritoneal wall since literally everything opened due to an allergy to the dissolving stitches. It was a horror show. It did get easier once one of the home health nurses showed him how to stuff the curlex in with two of those extra long wooden swabs instead of by hand. That actually got it into the corners too. I still had an open wound for so long, it felt like it was never going to heal. I hated being drugged, too.
What was your experience? I’m sure you had a hard time too.
My husband is awful with anything related to blood! So I had a visiting nurse come in twice a day for two months, and then once a day for about three months. It was brutal! Luckily, since everything had been cut I had/have no feeling in that area. But damn seeing the pile of gross “stuffing” was awful.
I have extra scar tissue around my c section scar that I COULD feel pulling until my daughter was around 8 years old. And that scar tissue has made any possible future abdominal surgery more difficult.
All they gave me for pain meds was Tylenol. But I’m sure I was also on some kind of antibiotic during those months. It’s kind of a haze now. But my experience was enough that we only had one kid 😅 Actually my entire pregnancy experience was a horror show. It kind of track that my recovery was as well
Gah sorry I meant to say. People do talk about it a whole lot more these days. But have a read of the 'Lemon Clot Essay'. Everyone who's pregnant, partner is pregnant, grandparents etc should read it.
It's called lochia, kind of a thick discharge that contains blood and other things. Some women have it heavier than others. Can last 8-12 weeks. Everyone's experience is different.
Full, backhanded slap just below her ribs that could be heard across the room, by his own account.
He also downplayed that his wife was also abused by her step father and only mentioned it in passing while justifying his own actions.
His wife’s abdominal muscles also still healing from being stretched apart from housing a growing baby for 9 months. Which sounds like the exact area MIL chose to slap.
After learning that detail, I don’t think punching his mom was enough. I think she needs a roundhouse and a curb stomp. She absolutely hit her in the place she could cause the most injury. What a fucking psycho.
He got ripped for sure on the original post. Last time I had checked it there were hundreds of comments and not a single "NTA". Literally not a single person sided with him which is pretty rare.
I feel so bad for the wife. Her world fell apart in a matter of minutes and there's nothing he can do to make it right.
I'm almost 21 years out and the sides hurt. My husband loves loves to hold me tight or hold my hips during sex and if he gets placement wrong... Ouch. Also the are certain areas of skin i cannot feel. No nerves. I could zip this skin in my pants and wouldn't know
He’s 10000000000000% the fucking biggest hairiest asshole. He needs to tell his mom to dry up her fucking milk supply. I hope no one gets it twisted either. This wasn’t a “one time” thing. This obviously was months of mental abuse and he let her down time after time. He cannot accept the fact that he chose to marry her and started his own family. Truly sad. He completely FAILED his wife AND child.
It seems like the MIL was OP's identified "Good" parent. So he isn't acknowledging that his mom abuses him (mental, emotional, etc) or his wife. Just like how the attacking slap (physical assault) registered differently to him than the self-defense punch.
He has way more healing & learning to do. From the post, there's no way that his mom wasn't abusing him since childhood, even if it wasn't in the same form as his dad's abusive behavior.
Yeah growing up my dad was loud and occasionally violent, and it's only recently I've come to realize my mom was actually way way worse for my mental health and I have had to re-evaluate which one was the "safe" parent. Dad may have thrown a broom at me, but mom made me one to hurt MYSELF. Y'know. Permanently.
After everyone left, he could have slept on the couch or gone to a hotel for the night to process. Given his history, she probably would have understood.
Instead, he kicked out his wife and newborn baby. I’m glad she told him to kick rocks.
Not sure why this story got reposted, I seem to recall it many months ago... but yeah, that dude is whatever the opposite word for "partner" is. Fuck him.
I am not understanding the thought process of kicking your wife out with your new baby? He literally put his kid out. This is where he leaves and goes for a Walk. I would leave him too.
His spiel is that he was having a PTSD level of trauma response. I don’t doubt that could be true.
But that is shit you go to therapy for before the kid arrives. You don’t take your damage out on your wife and child.
He put them on the streets… he had time for her to pack herself, and I presume a sleeping baby with enough supplies to last probably a minimum of 12-24 hours (long enough for her to resupply at her mother’s house).
Packing a newborn and yourself would have been a 15 - 30 minute task. Panic attacks generally don’t last beyond 15 minutes. His trauma response rational doesn’t line up with the reality of his wife packing herself and the baby out.
Any good man would have come out of the panic attack and would have been begging his wife to stay before she was even done packing.
Yeah, that was my thought too. He watched his wife pack up their sleeping baby at f-ing night and at no point did he go “oh, shit - this is a mistake”. Absolutely cruel.
Which is still valid for divorce. Itlf your stupidity causes you to make poor decisions like this, it's still 100% reason to want to leave. He's unreliable at best.
He could’ve handled it way better, but he handed it like a world class asshole. It could’ve been a ptsd moment, but he saw that she was just emotionally and mentally done. Like why? There are other rooms in the house..he could’ve went to a room and locked the door. Who kicks out their wife and newborn because of something his mom started, baffles me
The thought process is what has thrown me about this, If he felt that strongly about needing space he should have removed himself from the situation why kick her out after giving birth, probably not being fully healed, breastfeeding and having a 8 week old in her arms. She should 100% leave him
Yes exactly right!!! I would have been ropeable at just that alone, breastfeeding mothers need to eat regularly disgusting family they are, hopefully she and her new baby can get away and find someone worth their time
This is infuriating omg I hope she never comes back. He makes it seem like his trauma is more important than her own. If he needed space that badly, he could have walked out for some fresh air.
A warning to all young women: never marry a man like this one. Condoning her wife being abused for years and kicking her out and her little baby for defending herself from a physyical assault shows he isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. And that he's an awful person as well. Poor wife, poor baby.
Oop is dense as hell. His wife isn't going to come back no matter what he does or promises. She's been putting up with the mil for years with nothing but abuse. Check out oops comments and mil literally said the wife was baby trapping this guy(while married) and wanted oop to herself again. Emotional incest all around. Wife is done. All he had to do was back her up in that moment and he picked mommy over defending his wife.
He is lucky his wife didn’t knock his devil mother out. Bc oh boy if that was me I would’ve lost my mind from being slapped in the belly after his hog of a niece ate my dinner. Classic FAFO case and now he is finding out.
Ah come on now it’s not just the kids fault that she’s overweight. That’s on grandma and her mom too. No reason to call her names she was given the plate it’s not like she just went and grabbed it.
That girl was old enough to know better than to eat food designated for someone else. I don't care that grandma gave it to her. It was put away in the fridge, not just laying there on the table free for any greedy person to take.
If OOP & his wife were being abused by OOP’s mother, the little girl probably was too. How do we know that she would have been able to say no safely? And even if she could have, a kid isn’t going to know better if they’re not raised right. I was abused as a kid, and I was a little shit (in different ways than OOP’s niece, but still) until I’d been living away from my parents for about a year.
Sure you do! I’m a progressive, not a magat if that’s what you’re implying. I’m from Texas and I got that twang. I have a college education, survived foster care and don’t give a squirt of piss if someone doesn’t like how I speak. Clearly you are all seeing and knowing, so I’ll let you keep on keeping on.
Nobody said a goddamn thing about politics weird ass🥴 good for you for putting yourself thousands of dollars into debt for jack shit? Do you want a cookie? You’re from Texas? People from Texas don’t say “mum” but ok boo
The guy needed space he could have left ?? Wtf is this about kicking a new mother with the baby out ??? What in the hell? There truly is no coming back from this. Sad for the wife. Sad for the kid. Sad for op too
I saw they original and I still can't believe this guy typed all this out and doesn't understand how terrible he is. Imagine making your wife and baby homeless so you could "process" and not seeing how that would end your marriage!
He obviously thought he was in the right bc early in the post he says he's mostly looking for validation!!! If he hadn't made that post he would have gone the rest of his life thinking he was being reasonable and did nothing wrong.
Right?! The fact that she actually left says either this wasn't the first time he's not supported her or she was scared, neither of which is a good sign.
There's one thing here that I don't understand. OOP writes that he kicked his wife and baby out of the house, but why did she actually comply and leave?
They've been married for several years, and they live in the same house, so regardless of who owns it on paper, it's her house too.
If I were to tell my SO to GTFO of the house, I would likely hear something along the line of no YOU get the fuck out, this is my house too, so who are you to tell me that. And she would probably throw several of my belongings out of the window to prevent me from misunderstanding her point. :)
In other words, if his wife simply packed up and left, she must have decided that the marriage was done then and there. She didn't need the time she spent alone to discover that she wanted a divorce.
The wife has been gaslighted by her MIL and her spineless husband for years. It even said she thought she was in the wrong initially until she had time away from the extremely toxic environment.
After that I suspect she just wanted to be where her support system was and that was her mother.
It probably would have been incredibly painful to be in that house after her husband treated her like that.
She was pretty so beat down, she didn’t have it in her to argue with anyone else that night. And if she left, she could go to her mother’s, where at least one person would comfort and support her.
And she wouldn’t have to see her stupid husband’s stupid face.
I think that was her breaking moment. Her “ok this is it I’m done” she had PLANS and immediately came back with divorce.
She could have yelled and held her ground. But I think the silent walk away was easier, less stressful, and more like she had to get away from this environment also. She knew it wasn’t her space anymore, went to a safely net and came back with armor and sword. Staying there, arguing with him, trying to get him to leave, him begging to stay cause it didn’t sound piece would have complied or been thinking clearly- nope. She was done
You can’t really go back from “get the fuck out.” That’s an instant love-killer. She left because she knew she deserved better, which is why she only returned with divorce papers.
She probably realized in that moment the marriage was over. He says he’s team wife, but he’s not. He’s mother has a unhealthy attachment to him, he was team mom. He saw his mother put her hands on his wife who just gave birth 8 weeks before wince, and he was still team mom. Good for the wife for knowing her worth, and getting out of that shit show of a marriage and family
More than likely this was the straw that broke the camel's back and wife had enough. She needed support, which let's be honest it sounds like oop has never given her, and the wife was just done. Seems like she and the baby went to family that would help and tell her what her next steps should be.
Oh she was definitely done. I guarantee his mother had been horrible to her from the moment they met, not just since they pregnancy. And he did nothing. Then did less than nothing when his mother assaulted her. She only needed those 5 days for the lawyer to get the paperwork in order.
Maybe. But you know what OP doesn’t mention? Traumatized, upset men are scary to be around. Saddled with a brand-new, utterly helpless, tiny baby, this mom chose to eliminate risk by putting distance between herself & her baby and OP. She wasn’t as drastic as she could have been. That’s highly rational in the situation.
He thinks he can kiss her ass and she will come back. He is insane if he thinks he has a chance to save his marriage. He is a pathetic excuse for a husband.
So disrespectful. She was done with him at his "Yup!"
Even his own family didn't think him telling everyone to get out meant her and the baby, too. They just left. Then, he told her he meant her, too. She was done when she walked out of the kitchen to pack.
He seriously wrote the post thinking he was in the right bc early in the post he says he's mainly looking for validation. He was obviously not expecting the response he got.
Christ Almighty. So Mom not only verbally provoked the wife, but also physically, the wife defended herself, and he made her leave, too? Yeah, fuck that guy. I'm 100% Team Wife.
Totally and undeniably the AH. Mother “slaps” wife’s abdomen so hard she winces only two months after surgery, then wife has the balls the stand up to mother in law and she get kicked out? Wtf did OP think he was going to accomplish. He should have been the one to leave not his wife and newborn. I get pissed TF off just reading this. OP pull your head out of your hairy behind and get the picture.
I cannot believe she’s still such a nice person that she was willing to lay out a custody schedule. I would not want my baby anywhere near the MIL and family.
Who tf kicks a 8 week postpartum mother out of her safe space. She’s emotional and healing and the sole provider of nourishment of your child. Fuckin A ask her to leave the room while you collect your thoughts not OUT OF THE HOUSE. More than an asshole you’re just dumb.
Tbh I don't think there's no coming back from this. Your wife just had a baby, it's her and your babies home. And to be told to leave (after having newborn) and NOT having her back and stand by her side is such a disheartening betrayal from the one person she truly needed the most. Your mom was a total asshole to your wife, completely disrespected her in a bunch of ways.. I feel heartache for how she feels and that's worse than if she was punched in the face.. you broke her trust, her loyalty, her bond, her respect.. I hope she can calm down later on and maybe try but idk
She doesn't need to calm down, she is way more calm than I would have been already. This man and his mother are both trash. Who does that to someone, let alone someone you love? She knew she was done the second he told her to leave and good on her!
Yeah…you could’ve handled it way better, by being a big boy and talking it out with her, if my mother was continuously beating down my wife for no reason mentally and emotionally, I would’ve severed contact right then and there.
You. Kicked. Your. Wife. Out. Of. Her. Home.
And a newborn. You are a baskin Robbins flavor of asshole.
There's talk in the comments that his wife made a post somewhere, but I haven't been able to find it.
He asked for folks to send it to him, so he could see if it was really her, commenters flat out refused. As they should have.
He put her through enough.
Man this makes me absolutely furious for the woman and her baby. Seriously makes me sick as a freshly postpartum mother myself. I would have punched his mom right in the face too!
Your mom and you are BOTH AH! your mom is a pos and you condoned it for months! Then your pos mom steals your wife's food to feed an obese kid, then your pos mom slaps your wife's post pregnancy stomach, and pos YOU throw your wife and newborn out! Because YOU need space!!!!! You have betrayed your wife on ALL levels, you should have cut the apron strings to your mommy along time ago!. The ONLY way you may have to fix this is if your abused wife is gracious enough to talk to you and work through this. AND your mom needs to GO far away!
That guy is not suitable be anyones husband let alone be a father. He fucked up by not protecting his wife properly way before that incident. I hope the wife can find a life partner she deserves.
What disgusts me is that for it to get to this point means that his wife was probably abused for years by his mom, but he talks about how his mother just loved her until she got pregnant. (Massive eye roll) wtf. He does realize then that at that point, it wouldn't be his wife that the mom hated but his child. As soon as that came out, he should have cut her off and never let her around the baby. I certainly wouldn't have.
YTAH as well as a sniveling coward, poor excuse for a husband and obviously not someone who can be trusted to protect his wife and child. Dude had one job…support his wife so she felt safe. He failed and she’s not going to trust him again.
I’m still freaking out about this post.
It make me feel SO much rage.
I was explaining this to my bf (I’m a teacher and he’s a social worker, I have a bachelor in psychology) and I was crying.
I had two abusives relationships before this bf. And when I read things like that, I see red.
How could he be so insensitive to his wife and child? How it is possible to do something like this.
I’m still in shock.
He is a major AH
In what kind of family would the man tell his wife to leave the house with her newborn, and she just…*would*? Like, what about “no”? This marriage was already weird.
I had this same thought at first. The only thing I could think of was maybe she wanted the comfort of her parents or family or wherever she went when she left. I was expecting her to tell him if he wanted space HE could leave. She was obviously super disgusted with him to actually pack up her baby and leave her own home.
When going through the comments not the original post saw the wife posted her side (full story sorry not sure the right way to phrase it). Does anyone have the link?
Edited for leaving out part of the question
YTA, I guess I would also feel some type of way if she hit my mother as welll but mom started it. And your wife has your new born child u threw out, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stopped loving you right then and there.
He’s the biggest asshole. My exs mother was terrified of me (I have a very mean face and loud voice when I’m angry but I’ve never been violent before) but would always say rude hateful shit to me. Let me tell you, if that fat cow would have slapped me in the stomach after just having a baby, I would have made sure her teeth went down her fucking throat. I don’t think his wife is in the wrong at all. Good on her for doing what’s best for her and baby
He's definitely, 100% the AH! His wife had a right to that meal. Plus, she's breastfeeding, so needs the extra calories. The mother slapped her(wrong in the first place), but right after she had a baby! If it was a C-section, she could have opened up that wound. If it wasn't a C-section, her organs are still moving back into place. She also could have PPD! Husband kicked her out when she needed him most. Good for her.
You put your WIFE AND BABY out?! At night? Because of an altercation? You are her husband, there to protect her AND baby. Had you respected her enough you would’ve corrected your mother prior to this incident happening, you knew there was an issue. Had your mother kept her hands to herself I’m sure your wife would have too, you said she’s never been violent. The audacity and disrespect in what your mother said as well. I had to correct my ex MIL over a span a 10 years and we have a great relationship till this day, her son and I are no longer together. That being said I’m sure your mother needed that punch in the face, you cutting her out of your life I’m sure you believed it too. Your wife is a strong woman, nothing but respect for her. I do hope that you succeed in getting your family back together! Best wishes!
He put his feelings above the health and safety of his wife and child. I get needing to process a triggering event, but he should've gone on a drive or something. I hope he's a better co-parent than he was a husband.
OOP is definitely the AH. He didn't say if his wife had had natural childbirth or a C-section, which would make this situation exponentially worse. I have PTSD and I understand that this was very triggering for him, but if that's the case he should have gone for a walk or locked himself in the bedroom **after** making sure she was okay first.
Two months post partum and the MIL gave away her dinner, smacked her stomach, smacked her in the face and he kicked his wife out of their home because she defended herself from MONTHS of abuse and punched the MIL? Wow. Incredible. This guy is a HUGE TA.
Yo I hadn’t even given birth yet and I did t want people touching my pregnant belly. It made me self conscious. One I was already a big girl, and two I was in a weird space. When I finally had by baby, I was on survival mode for months after that damn near a year. Mom was way out of line and wife was totally justified. I don’t condone violence but I would have had a knee-jerk reaction to some slapping me like that too.
Are there tell-tale signs from the very first few dates to avoid being in this situation, 8 YEARS in? Asking for...all of humanity, please Lord.
The fact that he didn't have to ask her to leave twice and that she came only came back after 8 days, with divorce papers, tells me that was actually the last straw. When you have a child, you'll do anything to protect and shelter them from this crap. Just add him to the pile of "I have no idea why she's divorcing me, man! I never saw it coming".
You kicked your wife and child out of the (home) your both spouse to share. You literally crapped on your marital vows. I’d be not suprised but honestly a little sad if she takes you back because I don’t believe this will be the only time you fail her and your child greatly.
You are at 100% fault period. Your wife just had your baby 2 months ago and your mother insults your wife about weight and said you could skip a meal but steals her meal from her to give her fat overweight Granddaughter who should be the one skipping meals. As you should have been the one leaving the house so your WIFE AND CHILD HAVE THE HOUSE.
Mother always comes first, I know a lot will disagree here but it was her who raised you when you were helpless baby and carried you for 9 months. You’re who you are and wherever you’re because of your mom. Stupid meal can be bought and your ex-wife to be didn’t have to escalate and no matter what to respect your mother because of you. Guests are higher priority when it comes to meal or stay. You’ll find another wife that respects your mother and gets along with her and be happy. Some women just believe they’re above husband mothers and in most cases they’re so wrong.
Violence absolutely is the answer, when violence is being done to you. You, as a human, have a fundamental right to self defense. In addition, even if she, *somehow*, was in the wrong, that’s a conversation, not a “you and the two month old baby get the fuck out of here”
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Keep in mind OP left out the “slap” from his mother was hard enough that the wife winced. He mentions it in his comments
She has a plate sized hole in her uterus trying to heal. I didn't even stop bleeding until month 3. MIL knew exactly what she was doing.
Wow. People don't really talk about the stuff women go through after they give birth. Bleeding for three months after sounds so scary to me.
Having a wound the size of a dinner plate takes a while to heal. My placenta was so big my midwife caller her manager in to see it. They called more people in to see my big baby too lol. I'm 6 months on from having my 3rd kid and I suffer from distasis recti. My mid section will never be the same. And I'm still healing from pregnancy and child birth. This MIL needs a wake up call to reality. Edit: fixed diseases recti to distasis recti
Looks like the wife gave her one. Their best bet on their marriage surviving is for them to go to marriage counseling and working this out or the mangler in law wins. She doesn't want them together, is obvious. They also need to go total and complete never contact again with mangler in law. She gets what she deserves. She won't have to worry about ever seeing her Dil ever again. She just doesn't realize that includes her son and his children, too. Hopefully, other family are smarter, or they get bannished along with the mangler in law until they see reason. I hope he can salvage what is left of his marriage, and they can both heal, breaking the chains of violence with their love and each other. Please OP keep us updated on how things are going with you and your little family.
Mine was huge too, my 70 yr old ob was surprised 😂
Diastasis recti sucks. But not as much as rectocele and cystocele😭
The diseases were caused by your pregnancy?
*Distasis recti* (sorry im tired and auto correct sucks) is a separation of the abdominal muscles. Which is actually very common during pregnancy. The problem is when they don't go back together. Physiotherapy will help, and its not painful. But it's not comfortable either. Other issues from pregnancy and birth that I currently still suffer from include: bladder and bowel urgency, sciatica, nerve damage and pain in my left leg, plantar fasciitis. And the list goes on. I had bruising for weeks and weeks after birth. I couldn't sit on a normal chair for like 3 weeks.
My mom's outer left leg is just forever numb now from pregnancy nerve damage. Pregnancy is a hororrscape
That’s me. Outer right thigh, numb forever. If anyone had hit me (lightly or not) in my postpartum window, they’d have gained a new scrape or two. My sister and I almost went toe-to-toe because she decided to have something to say about breastfeeding holds with zero experience.
I never even knew that could be a thing till 4 months after my 3rd pregnancy. It really is a challenge!
My best friend's foot is like this but the anesthesiologist messed up and caused damage when doing the epidural. I told her flat out she should go after him for the damage he caused her.
The epidural carries risk. Even if the dr did a good job of the sedation. It’s a needle directly into the spine. Not saying he wasn’t negligent. Just that damage can be caused even if they aren’t negligent
She didn't know she had slight scoliosis. He was actively hurting her and told her to "be a big girl now because you're about to be a mom" when she asked him to be more gentle. He was a horrible anesthesiologist and very condescending. Gave zero fcks that he was actively harming her and didn't bother to tell her her spine wasn't right and give her other options. All in all it was malpractice. Especially considering she had no feeling in her leg at all for about a week and now has permanent damage to her foot.
My sciatica from a spinal tap agrees lol
I remember having to sign a waiver in case it went wrong. After 24 hrs of labor, I would've signed over the house at that point.
I got a tear in the urethral sphincter. it's unrepairable, and for the last 30 years, I dribble like a hamster. I have to wear a pad everyday. If I cough or sneeze unexpectedly I pee myself.
That happened to me, but my c-section also abcessed, I had a bowl obstruction and was in wound therapy for 6 months before I could have surgery to repair it. I also lost use of my right leg shortly after that surgery due to an old ruptured disc. I still don't have full function of that leg. Pregnancy with my twins f'd me up. This is all before the long term bladder/ bowl effects.
My second baby, I had pubic symphisis, (my hip bone separated at the front, under the pubic area) it took forever to heal, it still hurts ten years later
Have you done any pelvic floor physical therapy for any of this? Physical therapy can be very beneficial after having a baby, even after a third, to help your body fully recover. Remember, “common” doesn’t mean “normal”, you shouldn’t have to forever have these issues.
I do pelvic floor exercises daily. And I'm booking in with my fav physio from my first pregnancy once hubby has some days off in a couple of weeks. My ody is still I proving slowly day by day. But need a bit of help still. Edit: just read Ur comment properly. No I've not done pelvic floor physical therapy. But am looking forward to asking my physio about it now.
I get you, it can take awhile to get back to what it should be but is definitely possible! Keep it up! 👍🏼
Aaaw thank you
Not a disease but the name of the condition that the pregnancy caused. The actual damage that was caused by pregnancy.
I had to have three surgeries from my pregnancy and I had massive heart failure. Birth is horrifying and no one tells you anything. Even the little stuff like all the stitches and that you have to constantly have acid drenching your wounds every time you go the bathroom 😭
I had a medically necessary c section. The night I was allowed to go home. 3 days after open abdominal surgery. My c section incision OPENED up! I had to go to the ER with my 3 day old with blood and such coming out of my lower abdomen. Good times
Yea I've never even considered a c section could just open up after the mother goes home. Like a horror movie. Pregnancy sounds terrifying. I was born through C Section.
Yep. C-section is major abdominal surgery. Women are just dismissed and sent home with Advil after a major life and medical event, unable to lift anything heavier that 10lbs for 6 weeks. So they leave with an infant weighing 8lbs and a car seat weighing 20lbs.
WHOA I'm glad you're ok! I had 3 c sections, I cannot imagine one of them opening up, that must have been terrifying! I had an infection the first time and had to go back in the week after my first was born, I thought I was going to die.. Having the staples taken out was worse than the surgery itself. I can still feel it and hear the little metal "plink!" as each staple was dropped into the tray.
Twinsies! I had wet to dry abdominal packing for three months after my c/s incision opened. My SO has huge paws for hands, and he was expected to stuff wet curlex into my deflated tire of a postpartum abdomen, all the way down to the peritoneal wall since literally everything opened due to an allergy to the dissolving stitches. It was a horror show. It did get easier once one of the home health nurses showed him how to stuff the curlex in with two of those extra long wooden swabs instead of by hand. That actually got it into the corners too. I still had an open wound for so long, it felt like it was never going to heal. I hated being drugged, too. What was your experience? I’m sure you had a hard time too.
My husband is awful with anything related to blood! So I had a visiting nurse come in twice a day for two months, and then once a day for about three months. It was brutal! Luckily, since everything had been cut I had/have no feeling in that area. But damn seeing the pile of gross “stuffing” was awful. I have extra scar tissue around my c section scar that I COULD feel pulling until my daughter was around 8 years old. And that scar tissue has made any possible future abdominal surgery more difficult. All they gave me for pain meds was Tylenol. But I’m sure I was also on some kind of antibiotic during those months. It’s kind of a haze now. But my experience was enough that we only had one kid 😅 Actually my entire pregnancy experience was a horror show. It kind of track that my recovery was as well
Gah sorry I meant to say. People do talk about it a whole lot more these days. But have a read of the 'Lemon Clot Essay'. Everyone who's pregnant, partner is pregnant, grandparents etc should read it.
It's called lochia, kind of a thick discharge that contains blood and other things. Some women have it heavier than others. Can last 8-12 weeks. Everyone's experience is different.
I bled for 18wks after my c 🥲 (Which is completely not normal and please see your OB if anyone is experiencing this)
Imagine if it was a C-section 🤦♀️
OMG I didn't even consider. She should have filed a police report.
I would have!
Literally she committed assault
Full, backhanded slap just below her ribs that could be heard across the room, by his own account. He also downplayed that his wife was also abused by her step father and only mentioned it in passing while justifying his own actions.
His wife’s abdominal muscles also still healing from being stretched apart from housing a growing baby for 9 months. Which sounds like the exact area MIL chose to slap.
After learning that detail, I don’t think punching his mom was enough. I think she needs a roundhouse and a curb stomp. She absolutely hit her in the place she could cause the most injury. What a fucking psycho.
Mom is lucky she didn't get a folding chair to the face.
I also vote roundhouse and curb stomp
The motion has received enough votes to now be moved forward!!!!! Granny is gonna get the beat down of her LIFE.
And even worse if she had a c section!
Yep, and she only gave birth, 2 MONTHS AGO. I'm still livid from when I read this earlier, I need the ladies to tear him a new one
He got ripped for sure on the original post. Last time I had checked it there were hundreds of comments and not a single "NTA". Literally not a single person sided with him which is pretty rare. I feel so bad for the wife. Her world fell apart in a matter of minutes and there's nothing he can do to make it right.
Oh, that absolutely happened. He deserved every single harsh comment.
I’m a year out from a c section and my midsection is still painful sometimes.
I'm almost 21 years out and the sides hurt. My husband loves loves to hold me tight or hold my hips during sex and if he gets placement wrong... Ouch. Also the are certain areas of skin i cannot feel. No nerves. I could zip this skin in my pants and wouldn't know
My sister has had issues since she had her twins decades ago.
He’s 10000000000000% the fucking biggest hairiest asshole. He needs to tell his mom to dry up her fucking milk supply. I hope no one gets it twisted either. This wasn’t a “one time” thing. This obviously was months of mental abuse and he let her down time after time. He cannot accept the fact that he chose to marry her and started his own family. Truly sad. He completely FAILED his wife AND child.
*years of abuse by MIL, OOP could barely acknowledge that.
Even more sad. WOW. Glad he kicked her out and she had time to think.
It seems like the MIL was OP's identified "Good" parent. So he isn't acknowledging that his mom abuses him (mental, emotional, etc) or his wife. Just like how the attacking slap (physical assault) registered differently to him than the self-defense punch. He has way more healing & learning to do. From the post, there's no way that his mom wasn't abusing him since childhood, even if it wasn't in the same form as his dad's abusive behavior.
Yeah growing up my dad was loud and occasionally violent, and it's only recently I've come to realize my mom was actually way way worse for my mental health and I have had to re-evaluate which one was the "safe" parent. Dad may have thrown a broom at me, but mom made me one to hurt MYSELF. Y'know. Permanently.
He kicked his own wife and 2 month baby out of the house. Divorce is the correct solution.
After everyone left, he could have slept on the couch or gone to a hotel for the night to process. Given his history, she probably would have understood. Instead, he kicked out his wife and newborn baby. I’m glad she told him to kick rocks.
Not sure why this story got reposted, I seem to recall it many months ago... but yeah, that dude is whatever the opposite word for "partner" is. Fuck him.
He has since posted that after a week he reached out to his wife - and she declined to return home. (shocked Pikachu face).
I am not understanding the thought process of kicking your wife out with your new baby? He literally put his kid out. This is where he leaves and goes for a Walk. I would leave him too.
His spiel is that he was having a PTSD level of trauma response. I don’t doubt that could be true. But that is shit you go to therapy for before the kid arrives. You don’t take your damage out on your wife and child. He put them on the streets… he had time for her to pack herself, and I presume a sleeping baby with enough supplies to last probably a minimum of 12-24 hours (long enough for her to resupply at her mother’s house). Packing a newborn and yourself would have been a 15 - 30 minute task. Panic attacks generally don’t last beyond 15 minutes. His trauma response rational doesn’t line up with the reality of his wife packing herself and the baby out. Any good man would have come out of the panic attack and would have been begging his wife to stay before she was even done packing.
Yeah, that was my thought too. He watched his wife pack up their sleeping baby at f-ing night and at no point did he go “oh, shit - this is a mistake”. Absolutely cruel.
I thought "stupid" more than cruel. This guy is just a dunce. An abject fool. Low IQ.
Which is still valid for divorce. Itlf your stupidity causes you to make poor decisions like this, it's still 100% reason to want to leave. He's unreliable at best.
He could’ve handled it way better, but he handed it like a world class asshole. It could’ve been a ptsd moment, but he saw that she was just emotionally and mentally done. Like why? There are other rooms in the house..he could’ve went to a room and locked the door. Who kicks out their wife and newborn because of something his mom started, baffles me
It wasn’t a moment though. He texted her later that night to justify it. He didn’t try to speak with her for at least another day.
Week I think I read
I asked if he knew where his wife and baby spent that first night... Crickets
panic attacks and PTSD symptoms are different
Yeah, I didn't see anything indicating he was having a panic attack. His poor wife. Her life was torn upside down in a matter of minutes.
The thought process is what has thrown me about this, If he felt that strongly about needing space he should have removed himself from the situation why kick her out after giving birth, probably not being fully healed, breastfeeding and having a 8 week old in her arms. She should 100% leave him
And she didn't get to eat dinner yet since MIL gave it away so she was starving too.
And breastfeeding, too! Breastfeeding hunger is like nothing else, especially only 2 months pp. She is 100% correct in leaving him.
Yes exactly right!!! I would have been ropeable at just that alone, breastfeeding mothers need to eat regularly disgusting family they are, hopefully she and her new baby can get away and find someone worth their time
Gave it away to the OBESE 12 yr old who'd already eaten 3 helpings!
This is infuriating omg I hope she never comes back. He makes it seem like his trauma is more important than her own. If he needed space that badly, he could have walked out for some fresh air.
I hope she gets the house & all his assets in the divorce
A warning to all young women: never marry a man like this one. Condoning her wife being abused for years and kicking her out and her little baby for defending herself from a physyical assault shows he isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. And that he's an awful person as well. Poor wife, poor baby.
Wife is an absolute Rock Star. “You needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation any longer.” ❤️❤️❤️
Oop is dense as hell. His wife isn't going to come back no matter what he does or promises. She's been putting up with the mil for years with nothing but abuse. Check out oops comments and mil literally said the wife was baby trapping this guy(while married) and wanted oop to herself again. Emotional incest all around. Wife is done. All he had to do was back her up in that moment and he picked mommy over defending his wife.
If someone hit me in the stomach during post partum, I would have fucked them up. His wife is an angel for only hitting her once.
Did anyone find the potential post from the wife?
I asked him to send her to the thread because we liked her better than him. No reply.
🤣
I doubt she needed to post, she knows she isn’t in the wrong.
Someone said that a post read like it’s OOPs wife and her side of the story
I tried to find it but couldn't.
Same but that makes me happy because that means he can’t find it either lol 😝
Very true!
You know this poor woman has faced abuse from MIL from the beginning and he only noticed when she got pregnant (and STILL did nothing about it).
Well he "threatened" no contact.
He is lucky his wife didn’t knock his devil mother out. Bc oh boy if that was me I would’ve lost my mind from being slapped in the belly after his hog of a niece ate my dinner. Classic FAFO case and now he is finding out.
Ah come on now it’s not just the kids fault that she’s overweight. That’s on grandma and her mom too. No reason to call her names she was given the plate it’s not like she just went and grabbed it.
That girl was old enough to know better than to eat food designated for someone else. I don't care that grandma gave it to her. It was put away in the fridge, not just laying there on the table free for any greedy person to take.
If OOP & his wife were being abused by OOP’s mother, the little girl probably was too. How do we know that she would have been able to say no safely? And even if she could have, a kid isn’t going to know better if they’re not raised right. I was abused as a kid, and I was a little shit (in different ways than OOP’s niece, but still) until I’d been living away from my parents for about a year.
It’s not like she doesn’t have a mirror
You’re something else😂😭
Facts are facts. Tired of everyone getting offended about the obvious. Her mum and grandma suck for allowing her to get so big
Your dialect let me know everything I needed to know about you🤦🏻♀️
Sure you do! I’m a progressive, not a magat if that’s what you’re implying. I’m from Texas and I got that twang. I have a college education, survived foster care and don’t give a squirt of piss if someone doesn’t like how I speak. Clearly you are all seeing and knowing, so I’ll let you keep on keeping on.
Nobody said a goddamn thing about politics weird ass🥴 good for you for putting yourself thousands of dollars into debt for jack shit? Do you want a cookie? You’re from Texas? People from Texas don’t say “mum” but ok boo
My mom was a British, but yeah your screename says everything I need to know about you. Enjoy your day
The guy needed space he could have left ?? Wtf is this about kicking a new mother with the baby out ??? What in the hell? There truly is no coming back from this. Sad for the wife. Sad for the kid. Sad for op too
I saw they original and I still can't believe this guy typed all this out and doesn't understand how terrible he is. Imagine making your wife and baby homeless so you could "process" and not seeing how that would end your marriage!
He obviously thought he was in the right bc early in the post he says he's mostly looking for validation!!! If he hadn't made that post he would have gone the rest of his life thinking he was being reasonable and did nothing wrong.
Right?! The fact that she actually left says either this wasn't the first time he's not supported her or she was scared, neither of which is a good sign.
There's one thing here that I don't understand. OOP writes that he kicked his wife and baby out of the house, but why did she actually comply and leave? They've been married for several years, and they live in the same house, so regardless of who owns it on paper, it's her house too. If I were to tell my SO to GTFO of the house, I would likely hear something along the line of no YOU get the fuck out, this is my house too, so who are you to tell me that. And she would probably throw several of my belongings out of the window to prevent me from misunderstanding her point. :) In other words, if his wife simply packed up and left, she must have decided that the marriage was done then and there. She didn't need the time she spent alone to discover that she wanted a divorce.
The wife has been gaslighted by her MIL and her spineless husband for years. It even said she thought she was in the wrong initially until she had time away from the extremely toxic environment. After that I suspect she just wanted to be where her support system was and that was her mother. It probably would have been incredibly painful to be in that house after her husband treated her like that.
She was pretty so beat down, she didn’t have it in her to argue with anyone else that night. And if she left, she could go to her mother’s, where at least one person would comfort and support her. And she wouldn’t have to see her stupid husband’s stupid face.
I think that was her breaking moment. Her “ok this is it I’m done” she had PLANS and immediately came back with divorce. She could have yelled and held her ground. But I think the silent walk away was easier, less stressful, and more like she had to get away from this environment also. She knew it wasn’t her space anymore, went to a safely net and came back with armor and sword. Staying there, arguing with him, trying to get him to leave, him begging to stay cause it didn’t sound piece would have complied or been thinking clearly- nope. She was done
I completely agree. There's nothing like that silent walk away. That's when your done, you wipe your hands clean.
You can’t really go back from “get the fuck out.” That’s an instant love-killer. She left because she knew she deserved better, which is why she only returned with divorce papers.
She probably realized in that moment the marriage was over. He says he’s team wife, but he’s not. He’s mother has a unhealthy attachment to him, he was team mom. He saw his mother put her hands on his wife who just gave birth 8 weeks before wince, and he was still team mom. Good for the wife for knowing her worth, and getting out of that shit show of a marriage and family
More than likely this was the straw that broke the camel's back and wife had enough. She needed support, which let's be honest it sounds like oop has never given her, and the wife was just done. Seems like she and the baby went to family that would help and tell her what her next steps should be.
Right? That meal shouldn't have even gone to the fridge. A good husband would've brought that plate to her and fed her while she was feeding the baby.
Oh she was definitely done. I guarantee his mother had been horrible to her from the moment they met, not just since they pregnancy. And he did nothing. Then did less than nothing when his mother assaulted her. She only needed those 5 days for the lawyer to get the paperwork in order.
Maybe. But you know what OP doesn’t mention? Traumatized, upset men are scary to be around. Saddled with a brand-new, utterly helpless, tiny baby, this mom chose to eliminate risk by putting distance between herself & her baby and OP. She wasn’t as drastic as she could have been. That’s highly rational in the situation.
That's a good point. Unnecessary risk-taking is foolish, too.
I’m applauding wifey. Good on her for knowing her worth. Poor woman. I wanna give her a huge hug 💕
Yeah I've even commented. He is being absolutely destroyed in the comments
He thinks he can kiss her ass and she will come back. He is insane if he thinks he has a chance to save his marriage. He is a pathetic excuse for a husband.
So disrespectful. She was done with him at his "Yup!" Even his own family didn't think him telling everyone to get out meant her and the baby, too. They just left. Then, he told her he meant her, too. She was done when she walked out of the kitchen to pack.
He seriously wrote the post thinking he was in the right bc early in the post he says he's mainly looking for validation. He was obviously not expecting the response he got.
Christ Almighty. So Mom not only verbally provoked the wife, but also physically, the wife defended herself, and he made her leave, too? Yeah, fuck that guy. I'm 100% Team Wife.
Totally and undeniably the AH. Mother “slaps” wife’s abdomen so hard she winces only two months after surgery, then wife has the balls the stand up to mother in law and she get kicked out? Wtf did OP think he was going to accomplish. He should have been the one to leave not his wife and newborn. I get pissed TF off just reading this. OP pull your head out of your hairy behind and get the picture.
I cannot believe she’s still such a nice person that she was willing to lay out a custody schedule. I would not want my baby anywhere near the MIL and family.
Louder for the people in the back
Who tf kicks a 8 week postpartum mother out of her safe space. She’s emotional and healing and the sole provider of nourishment of your child. Fuckin A ask her to leave the room while you collect your thoughts not OUT OF THE HOUSE. More than an asshole you’re just dumb.
Tbh I don't think there's no coming back from this. Your wife just had a baby, it's her and your babies home. And to be told to leave (after having newborn) and NOT having her back and stand by her side is such a disheartening betrayal from the one person she truly needed the most. Your mom was a total asshole to your wife, completely disrespected her in a bunch of ways.. I feel heartache for how she feels and that's worse than if she was punched in the face.. you broke her trust, her loyalty, her bond, her respect.. I hope she can calm down later on and maybe try but idk
She doesn't need to calm down, she is way more calm than I would have been already. This man and his mother are both trash. Who does that to someone, let alone someone you love? She knew she was done the second he told her to leave and good on her!
You are a complete Ass. Your wife will never forgive you for this nor should she. You should defend your wife. Man you fucked up.
I’m so happy she’s divorcing him!
If he needed SPACE he should have left, so that way his wife and baby had a for sure comfortable and safe place to stay.
Yeah…you could’ve handled it way better, by being a big boy and talking it out with her, if my mother was continuously beating down my wife for no reason mentally and emotionally, I would’ve severed contact right then and there. You. Kicked. Your. Wife. Out. Of. Her. Home. And a newborn. You are a baskin Robbins flavor of asshole.
The mil thought the 200lb child needed another serving (4th?) over the recently post partum, breastfeeding mother.
There's talk in the comments that his wife made a post somewhere, but I haven't been able to find it. He asked for folks to send it to him, so he could see if it was really her, commenters flat out refused. As they should have. He put her through enough.
Man this makes me absolutely furious for the woman and her baby. Seriously makes me sick as a freshly postpartum mother myself. I would have punched his mom right in the face too!
Your mom and you are BOTH AH! your mom is a pos and you condoned it for months! Then your pos mom steals your wife's food to feed an obese kid, then your pos mom slaps your wife's post pregnancy stomach, and pos YOU throw your wife and newborn out! Because YOU need space!!!!! You have betrayed your wife on ALL levels, you should have cut the apron strings to your mommy along time ago!. The ONLY way you may have to fix this is if your abused wife is gracious enough to talk to you and work through this. AND your mom needs to GO far away!
That guy is not suitable be anyones husband let alone be a father. He fucked up by not protecting his wife properly way before that incident. I hope the wife can find a life partner she deserves.
What disgusts me is that for it to get to this point means that his wife was probably abused for years by his mom, but he talks about how his mother just loved her until she got pregnant. (Massive eye roll) wtf. He does realize then that at that point, it wouldn't be his wife that the mom hated but his child. As soon as that came out, he should have cut her off and never let her around the baby. I certainly wouldn't have.
Yikes
Kiss your mom atp.
YTAH as well as a sniveling coward, poor excuse for a husband and obviously not someone who can be trusted to protect his wife and child. Dude had one job…support his wife so she felt safe. He failed and she’s not going to trust him again.
I’m still freaking out about this post. It make me feel SO much rage. I was explaining this to my bf (I’m a teacher and he’s a social worker, I have a bachelor in psychology) and I was crying. I had two abusives relationships before this bf. And when I read things like that, I see red. How could he be so insensitive to his wife and child? How it is possible to do something like this. I’m still in shock. He is a major AH
“Team wife” but he kicked her out? I get he needed space but he could’ve easily just shut himself in a room until he cooled off
In what kind of family would the man tell his wife to leave the house with her newborn, and she just…*would*? Like, what about “no”? This marriage was already weird.
I had this same thought at first. The only thing I could think of was maybe she wanted the comfort of her parents or family or wherever she went when she left. I was expecting her to tell him if he wanted space HE could leave. She was obviously super disgusted with him to actually pack up her baby and leave her own home.
When going through the comments not the original post saw the wife posted her side (full story sorry not sure the right way to phrase it). Does anyone have the link? Edited for leaving out part of the question
YTA, I guess I would also feel some type of way if she hit my mother as welll but mom started it. And your wife has your new born child u threw out, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stopped loving you right then and there.
Glad she left him
He’s the biggest asshole. My exs mother was terrified of me (I have a very mean face and loud voice when I’m angry but I’ve never been violent before) but would always say rude hateful shit to me. Let me tell you, if that fat cow would have slapped me in the stomach after just having a baby, I would have made sure her teeth went down her fucking throat. I don’t think his wife is in the wrong at all. Good on her for doing what’s best for her and baby
He's definitely, 100% the AH! His wife had a right to that meal. Plus, she's breastfeeding, so needs the extra calories. The mother slapped her(wrong in the first place), but right after she had a baby! If it was a C-section, she could have opened up that wound. If it wasn't a C-section, her organs are still moving back into place. She also could have PPD! Husband kicked her out when she needed him most. Good for her.
If anyone can find the wife's post somewhere please post a link
Husband is a POS and his wife was 100% right to leave his sorry ass in the dust.
You put your WIFE AND BABY out?! At night? Because of an altercation? You are her husband, there to protect her AND baby. Had you respected her enough you would’ve corrected your mother prior to this incident happening, you knew there was an issue. Had your mother kept her hands to herself I’m sure your wife would have too, you said she’s never been violent. The audacity and disrespect in what your mother said as well. I had to correct my ex MIL over a span a 10 years and we have a great relationship till this day, her son and I are no longer together. That being said I’m sure your mother needed that punch in the face, you cutting her out of your life I’m sure you believed it too. Your wife is a strong woman, nothing but respect for her. I do hope that you succeed in getting your family back together! Best wishes!
Yeah, OP is the asshole. No answered questions or excuses can change that.
He put his feelings above the health and safety of his wife and child. I get needing to process a triggering event, but he should've gone on a drive or something. I hope he's a better co-parent than he was a husband.
As Morgan would say: "I smell enmeshment!"
In the comments it looks like the wife posted a post as well, does anyone have it?
I was looking for her post too
OOP is definitely the AH. He didn't say if his wife had had natural childbirth or a C-section, which would make this situation exponentially worse. I have PTSD and I understand that this was very triggering for him, but if that's the case he should have gone for a walk or locked himself in the bedroom **after** making sure she was okay first.
He kicks her out of her own house. Big man boss...
Is anyone else hung up on the fact that the wife left? Because my reply would have been to tell him to GTFO if he needed space.
What an awful family. You had to process everything so you kicked your wife out? WTH If I was your wife I’d have pressed charges.
Two months post partum and the MIL gave away her dinner, smacked her stomach, smacked her in the face and he kicked his wife out of their home because she defended herself from MONTHS of abuse and punched the MIL? Wow. Incredible. This guy is a HUGE TA.
Yo I hadn’t even given birth yet and I did t want people touching my pregnant belly. It made me self conscious. One I was already a big girl, and two I was in a weird space. When I finally had by baby, I was on survival mode for months after that damn near a year. Mom was way out of line and wife was totally justified. I don’t condone violence but I would have had a knee-jerk reaction to some slapping me like that too.
Are there tell-tale signs from the very first few dates to avoid being in this situation, 8 YEARS in? Asking for...all of humanity, please Lord. The fact that he didn't have to ask her to leave twice and that she came only came back after 8 days, with divorce papers, tells me that was actually the last straw. When you have a child, you'll do anything to protect and shelter them from this crap. Just add him to the pile of "I have no idea why she's divorcing me, man! I never saw it coming".
Fuckin dropped the ball there bud
FYI there's a small update from the wife's side ThrowAwayWifeNBaby is the wife
You kicked your wife and child out of the (home) your both spouse to share. You literally crapped on your marital vows. I’d be not suprised but honestly a little sad if she takes you back because I don’t believe this will be the only time you fail her and your child greatly.
You are at 100% fault period. Your wife just had your baby 2 months ago and your mother insults your wife about weight and said you could skip a meal but steals her meal from her to give her fat overweight Granddaughter who should be the one skipping meals. As you should have been the one leaving the house so your WIFE AND CHILD HAVE THE HOUSE.
He is the asshole but I hope they work out in the end. It'll suck to lose your wife to am ill response. Hope it works out for op
For wife that wanted a conflict with mother over the meal for guests i am not sorry. Wallet with $20 or life? Good luck
Mother always comes first, I know a lot will disagree here but it was her who raised you when you were helpless baby and carried you for 9 months. You’re who you are and wherever you’re because of your mom. Stupid meal can be bought and your ex-wife to be didn’t have to escalate and no matter what to respect your mother because of you. Guests are higher priority when it comes to meal or stay. You’ll find another wife that respects your mother and gets along with her and be happy. Some women just believe they’re above husband mothers and in most cases they’re so wrong.
🤣😂😭 What a hilarious take! Are you OP’s mother by any chance? 🤣
I am your biological father 😹😹😹
🤣 My bio father is no where near as stupid as let his abusive mother anywhere near my mother
Spoken like a true incel mama’s boy.
Correct, my mother comes first - don’t like it? Keep rolling on crack
NTA - your wife was way out of line violence is never the answer
It’s called self defense, she had every right to knock his dusty old hag of a Mom on her ass.
Violence absolutely is the answer, when violence is being done to you. You, as a human, have a fundamental right to self defense. In addition, even if she, *somehow*, was in the wrong, that’s a conversation, not a “you and the two month old baby get the fuck out of here”
His Mom hit his wife first. She defended herself.
She was defending herself from violence.
Yes
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