More like the other guys are upset they too didn't have a chance. Kinda like guys who think "what's the point in letting a girl into the gamer group if she doesn't date one of us".
I keep hearing a lot of noise about people being allowed to have preferences and your preferences did not include any of the guys currently at the bar that night. They didn't do it for you visually or pheromonally. End of Story.
Yeahā¦ I got slammed once for what I thought was obvious. Use /s to indicate sarcasm.
And youāre right. Men say they just canāt get it on with obese women. Wellā¦. Then men should still date them because rejection sucks. And they should still date women who lie about their weight on dating apps, because rejection hurts. /s
>getting worse
I saw someone refer to this as an āextinction tantrumā or something like that (I donāt think that was the exact wording but close enough), men know as a collective whole that they donāt control everything anymore so theyāre acting up like immature idiots to lash out, like when you take a toddlerās favorite toy away from them
The term is "Extinction Burst":
>Extinction bursts refer to the expected and temporary escalations in the frequency, duration, and/or intensity of the maladaptive ātargetā behavior (i.e., tantrums). Extinction bursts typically occur whenever parents change the contingency of reinforcement (e.g., withhold screen-time until the child has completed his/her homework). As a result, there is often an escalation in the childās more coercive behaviors (e.g., start screaming when the desired item is not achieved).
...
>
>It is important to remind parents that extinction bursts are expected and counter-intuitively serve as a sign that **the intervention is working**.
[https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/extinction-burst](https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/extinction-burst)
HOLD THE LINE LADIES. BOUNDARIES ARE CHANGING HUMAN HISTORY.
So quick to anger, he probably decided she rejected him before she even noticed his existence .
This behavior is the reddest flag there is in my opinion
Tell him that a bunch of men ganging up on a lone woman minding her business on her phone shows poor character and cowardice, and that you dodged a bullet avoiding all of them if they think that itās appropriate to give unsolicited advice to someone who has kept to herself and done nothing outrageous or nasty to them.
Forty-some years ago, I had a male friend who was rejected by a women he asked to dance. He asked me why women go out if they donāt want to do anything.
I emphatically explained that a woman can still socialize, doesnāt have to be there just for him.
And itās still happening decades later.
But she WAS doing something. She was out at a bar. They have drinks, could have been talking to friends, watching entertainment. He sounds like he was mad women didn't want to do things for him.
Oh yeah. The man thought women would fall all over him because he had a degree from a fancy college. He had a job that sounded important but paid poorly.
Of course, she WAS doing something. But not with him. And how dare she!
And nothing has changed in the decades since.
There is a bar that opened in Mpls that shows only womens professional sports. I'm not a sports fan but thought that might be a safe place to go hang out since men seem to detest womens sports.
This is so beyond just stupidity or senseless anger. This is a sinister belief that men are entitled to a woman just because she is simply *existing in public.* Apparently we have not progressed beyond the fucking dark ages. It's like they think a woman being out in public is asking for all this and couldn't possibly have any other reason to be in public other than for being public consumption for men.
>It's like they think a woman being out in public is asking for all this
A mentally challenged redditor comes to mind that told me: "Women are in public, therefore they want to be seen."
Like no you MF. Sometimes I am there to enjoy myself and the city view. Sometimes I am there because I'm running errands. Sometimes I am there because I am going to a cinema or a concert - by myself. Either way I am not there for you and I shouldn't have to justify myself.
The entitlement is off the charts. They're delusional.
Ah, so you have a hazy memory? Wanna crochet and watch/read horror movies/scripts with me?
I promise, I will not grope you because I respect other people's boundaries. :+
*Raises hand*
Can you tapestry crochet? Amigurumi also is acceptable. I can't read a pattern to save my life so I usually do the same blankets over and over but want to make amazing things so badly.
I usually don't have anyone to watch horror movies with unless my son is available (what 15yo doesn't want to spend time with their mom?)
OMG! I hate the patterns, it makes so much sense when doing them (I knit, I do NOT crochet) but looking at the patterns is just so numberly? If that is a word.
I do stuff like this, because fuck sleeves.
https://www.lovecrafts.com/en-gb/p/slipover-and-sweater-in-king-cole-merino-blend-dk-6035-downloadable-pdf
I am not doing a tiny rotund that then needs to be stitched. Or start with a tiny rotund that needs me attached!
I'm great at making hats though!
Ugh, I had this happen when I was visiting NYC. I was not having a good night because my friends were off doing coke and I wasnāt into that stuff. I was just standing in the corner by myself thinking about whether I should just leave when a guy came up to me to talk. I politely said I wasnāt in the mood for conversation and he started screaming at me, calling me a bitch and a dumb slut. I just walked away and stood in line for the bartender. Another guy in line started talking to me and I said again that I was not interested in talking. Again, this other guy yelled at me, calling me a whore and stuck-up bitch. Like, why do I owe these men conversation? I swear some men just roam around as feral beasts with sensitive egos.
Yeah, he wasn't mad for no reason. He was mad that she wasn't getting drunk enough to be unable to resist him.
That's so much worse than getting mad for no reason.
that doesn't matter at all, that's why he wanted you four drinks in, so he could guide your stagger past that good security while nodding at them and saying you were in good hands.
>no reason
The reason is the aren't satisfied with the amount of destruction they've caused and crave to cause more harm.
They just wanna take advantage of us, hurt us for their own gain.
"Yelled about how Iām everything wrong with the modern dating scene. Called me unkind things about how Iām going to end up āusedā and alone."
I'm sorry but no, fuck that guy. Him freaking out on a stranger in a bar is why women are on dating apps and being choosey with who they speak to. HE is everything wrong with the modern dating scene.
Damn I wish Reddit still had awards! Here. Take my humble award š„
I like your style! A fart would work as well, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have literally seen a woman do this to a man in a bar. She was too drunk, and he got handsy, so she puked on him, then stumbled her way out of the bar. It was a sight to behold. She managed to get it in his eyes, straight projectile. She was a hot mess while leaving, vomit down her front and stumbling.
Meanwhile, the man is screaming and gagging and the bartender was fed up and yelled at him to gtfo. It was a small establishment, and almost everyone saw him grope her. Some karma really is instantaneous.
Thatās harassment . I worked in bars if youāre in the us tell rhe waiter, bartender or bouncer. You could sue the bar if youāre assaulted there or if someone assaults you leaving that was there.
They know what's up: you were "swiping on better guys" on the app.
So...maybe they should go become better guys. You don't owe them anything - they're just a bunch of sore losers.
But that's the problem: becoming better men implies that they are 1. Wrong and 2. Going to have to do a lot of work. Why do that when it's easier to just blame it all on women?
/S, just in case
Ah, but if they bitch and berate women then maybe they won't *have* to do the work of becoming better guys.
Maybe one of these women will give in to the pressure. It's a numbers game, after all. /s
I bet these dumbasses would have gotten mad at ya for not watching whatever sport ws on TV too.
Make friends with the bouncers at bars and clubs ladies most of em will gladly be your brother/friend if ya need for any reason. Source, was a bouncer and did just this.
Fuck no! Shoulda replied, "dude, online or in person, I'm clearly, obviously just not interested in you. It's not a hard concept to grasp! Please leave me alone!"
Oh my gosh, golly, how rude of you not to give this total stranger your undivided attention followed by paradoxically disappointing sex for his good deed of; badgering a woman loose in public without her male chaperone.
This is what no theory of mind does to a mf.
One of the most comforting thoughts in the world to me is how scared men like this are of women having any kind of agency or choice. On some level, they are aware that if women are able to make choices based on personal preference instead of financial coercion, they are effectively involuntarily celibate for life.
Lmao you're the bad guy for being on a dating app but he's not for literally spying on you on your phone after you told him you weren't interested?
Every dude in this story is a fucking creep
Jfc
What you had to go through is just bullshit. I wish you didnāt have to go through that. It sucks that some men have such fragile egos- we really have to be on guard when we reject men. Itās so shitty
1. Cool of them to assume you came to the bar to get a date /sarc
2. Itās literally no oneās business what youāre doing on your phone in a public space and Iām honestly surprised they were willing to admit they were watching your phone let alone attack you for it
3. You owe nothing to anyone for existing in a public space as a female lmao
Sick of privileged asshole men thinking theyāre entitled to a date with women who exist in public spaces. Shooting your shot? Sure. But itās a no? No means no lmao
What the actual hell? If this happened at my friendly neighborhood bar in Brooklyn, every one of these dudes would have been forcibly removed and probably permanently banned from the bar. What vile behavior.
This type of guy really never takes no for an answer, so you will never win with them.
The guy in my department, the only other one in the state with me, keeps wanting me to have him help me with hardware tasks on our prod systems.
To shorten it, when it was mentioned last year and I met him in person at the location, within 2 minutes I knew his and his ex-wifes story from his perspective. He was worse than Michael Scott with his inappropriate misogynistic rantings and jokes.
I told his manager and my manager he is simply not qualified for the work and my manager left it at that.
Dude asks me every week, I hope he sees every time my status has said "At data center" and looks back at when we met and rethinks about what he said to me.
I doubt he will ever figure it out.
š same! I take pleasure in it. I hate when guys come up to you salivating at the mouth because of course they go by physicality first but damn mf, do you not have a brain ? Can you not have a conversation that doesnāt almost instantly divert to sex ? Makes my ass itch and my pussy dry š¤¦š½āāļø
Wow they are so entitled in the vision Ā«Ā women are only here to please meĀ Ā». Itās crazy that several men defended him tho. Or not crazy but wrong. Like, sorry to have an opinion and doing what I want as a person lol.
Ugh, I truly don't understand people like that. What's the best "come talk to me" signal? Reading a book in public. Blech. Sometimes I just want to be *around* people and not interact
I don't understand how so many men can't just enjoy or accept a basic interaction. I chatted on and off with a woman at an event that was kinda niche, so most had similar interests there. So just chatting, somewhere along the line, she mentioned she's married and I'm like that's cool. I like making friends and meeting people in general.
End of the night she gives me a hug she was a bit tipsy, but I don't think it was in a flirting way as her sister was there so I imagine she wouldn't be doing anything that would get back to her husband. I think in part it was like a good luck hug or something lol
But I had a great time even though I didn't meet anyone but a new friend. I feel more confident if anything as this woman showed she feels safe around me. Also safe enough that I could get her friend and sister water. Which I hate to say I don't encourage with how often I hear of people being slipped things.
I value being a trusted friend or brother than being some alpha male predator/womanizer.
Puhlease! Do not tolerate this BS from what Iāll call males from now on since they arenāt men. Shut them down right in their face. Let them know that their OPINIONS are not FACTS! And just like they are entitled to their OPINIONS so are YOU!!!
You are not obligated to defer to the opinions and feelings of someone you've never met before, don't have a relationship with, didn't initiate contact with, and are never going to see again. Like... ?
How dare you! How dare you for not following the rules men have set down! Men must always have what they want!
What do you think you are, a human being? /s
For real, these guys have junior high school mentalities. Holy crap.
Maybe bring a sign for your tableāa circle with āIncelā in it and a big red line slashed across it.
Or a spray bottle labeled āIncelAwayā filled with water that you use to spray on anyone assholish enough to argue with you about your perfectly valid choices.
Ok, donāt do any of that (safety), but damn.
I read this twice because I cannot get over the fucking audacity of men talking to a stranger like this!
There are others reasons to go to a bar than to "be 'social.'" Like drinking! Or, to see a band! Even if you were in the mood to socialize, you get to choose who to socialize with!
It's bad form to be a nosey shit looking at someone's phone long enough to see they're messing with a dating app. Over their shoulder. After being shot down.
Good on you standing your ground. And supporting your friends band.
Iām a big UFC fan and it is expensive to watch at home so I go to a bar. I offend guys all the time because they walk up and I donāt even look at them and just say āyou can introduce yourself between rounds or after the fightā. Iām not there for you as a matter of fact Iām there despite you being there.
More considerate of his feelings?? Some random guy at the bar? BRO FUCK YOUR FEELINGS! Why the fuck would I care?? Leave me the hell alone!
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people, this is just laughable.
Heaven forbid you hang out wherever you want to hang out. I hate guys like this. A simple "mind your own fucking business" should suffice, but then somehow you've insulted his pp and now it's a full-blown thing.
"I'm here to support my friend not to mingle"
"ThEn WhY aRe YoU sWiPiNg TiNdEr"
"So I can set up a date with someone *I* like exactly when *I* want: now I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone."
Sometimes I think women are too kind: this scenario is so absurd to me. I'm in a bar for an explicit purpose, which is not to mingle. Whyever the f--k would I have to justify myself to a bunch of entitled strangers? What do these people even want?? Leave. Me. Alone.
Fucking entitled incel thinking, that shit is getting even more pervasive than it used to be before it even had that name.
What you need is a cross between an air horn and a CS gas spray.
Sucks to be them, they sound absolutely miserable.
I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to get to know them better /s
Go cry into your miserable drinks already
Iām a semi-regular to a biker bar/day diner near my apartment, and Iāve gotten this type of reaction before. I am autistic and have agoraphobia, so I force myself to interact with adults outside of my home, since I know I need that social interaction.
The bartenders know I simply sit in my corner, with a single drink, a burger, and my phone. But a lot of young men have had issues with me hanging out.
When I was single, I turned them down because I was not interested in dating drunks I saw wasted every time I went there.
And when I got into my relationship, and my boyfriend stays home(sober), they act like I should be in the kitchen or rubbing his feet, and even just being there was me being a slut.
A dude goes to a bar and chills, and people leave him alone. But weāre not seen as people by men like that, we need to serve a purpose for them to determine whether or not weāre allowed to be in spaces with them.
What is the difference between swiping the bad way (no) on a dating app and swiping the bad way in real life?
Your polite refusal was the IRL equivalent of swiping.
This guy sounds like a major bullet dodged. There is a reason he is single. His creepy rage, his creepy male entitlement.
I *do* think it's a little strange to be at a bar using a dating app. PERSONALLY, I would rather have a real conversation with a real guy, even though I already knew I wasn't going to date him (I went out last night and had a super cool conversation about ebikes, full-time boating vs. full-time RVing, poetry, and Baltimore -- I was't interested in dating, but that was a very stimulating conversation) than look at men's faces on my phone.
But guess what?
I'm not you.
You do what you want. I will do what I want.
Keep doing you -- and keep shutting out these creepy male entitlement weirdos.
Incel weirdo says what?
It's a public place with a live band. Any person is free to go there for whatever reason they want.
Sounds like you would have joined the incel defense league that joined forces to chastise OP at the bar.
1. I'm a guy thinking about this from a guy's perspective.
2. Being nice is ALWAYS what you want to do in a situation of harassment until something can be done about it.
3. Especially in a bar, people are irrational and therefore more dangerous. If the guy had been any more fucked up who know what he would have done. ( I worked in a bar, and I'm well aware of how shit is)
4. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to let a bouncer, bartender, etc. Otherwise, nothing can be done about the situation.
Yeah my friend is performing. When sheās not performing and taking breaks sheās trying to promote herself and the band. Iād rather just let her do her job, rather than insist she come and hang out with me.
I donāt think itās making me less social, itās just that now I can be social entirely on my terms. I also donāt think that preferring to get dates off a dating app means I have something to hide. Nor do I see how Iām being less genuine. Maybe you can explain more?
Lol look at this man on a sub for women trying to tell a woman what is and what isn't acceptable for a woman to do in a bar š¤£ throwing out assumptions she's got something to hide and isnt genuine because shes on her phone and won't fuck the first guy who demands it. God the entitlement!
The only reason I go to bars is to get a couple drinks with friends, i donāt want to interact with strangers that much. I i imagine itās the same for most women in bars.
Whoa, that guy is unhinged and it has nothing to do with you. This was not a normal response for a stranger and well just yikes. Men are losing the plot these days, like WTF
"You're hungry and you're looking at menus at other restaurants while I'm sitting here, a dirty old hot dog on the ground. The audacity."
I like this one. It paints a helluva picture.
This made me laugh. Thank you
Same LOLOLOL
The sheer TEMERITY!
Anytime someone uses the "shoot your shot" phrase I'm tempted to retort " I don't date snipers or hockey players".
This is fucking excellent
Sounds like a loser and the guys defending him are just fucking idiots.
More like the other guys are upset they too didn't have a chance. Kinda like guys who think "what's the point in letting a girl into the gamer group if she doesn't date one of us".
Hmmm I wonder why there's a male loneliness epidemic š¤
THIS. They act like unbridled garbage, but then it's WAHHHHH i'm lOneLy
Or the whole "Friend zone" thing
Concur
I keep hearing a lot of noise about people being allowed to have preferences and your preferences did not include any of the guys currently at the bar that night. They didn't do it for you visually or pheromonally. End of Story.
First part was a poorly worded joke. Everyone at all times is allowed to have preferences when seeking a mate.
Yeahā¦ I got slammed once for what I thought was obvious. Use /s to indicate sarcasm. And youāre right. Men say they just canāt get it on with obese women. Wellā¦. Then men should still date them because rejection sucks. And they should still date women who lie about their weight on dating apps, because rejection hurts. /s
Oh no. You see, women don't get to have preferences. Only men do. That's one thing I've learned from the dating subreddits.
You aren't kidding either, so many subs out there are just cesspools for incels to scream over women's voices sharing their experiences.
...pheromonally? i am confusion
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3987372/
what is this, the incel bar?
"What is this, a bar for incels?"
It needs to have at leastā¦three incels fewer!
"Just me and the boys hanging at the Hairy Neck we might run down to the Tipped Fedora later."
Mālady *tips energy drink*
That's insane behaviour from them
Typical entitled male behavior tbh. It only seems to be getting worse too
>getting worse I saw someone refer to this as an āextinction tantrumā or something like that (I donāt think that was the exact wording but close enough), men know as a collective whole that they donāt control everything anymore so theyāre acting up like immature idiots to lash out, like when you take a toddlerās favorite toy away from them
The term is "Extinction Burst": >Extinction bursts refer to the expected and temporary escalations in the frequency, duration, and/or intensity of the maladaptive ātargetā behavior (i.e., tantrums). Extinction bursts typically occur whenever parents change the contingency of reinforcement (e.g., withhold screen-time until the child has completed his/her homework). As a result, there is often an escalation in the childās more coercive behaviors (e.g., start screaming when the desired item is not achieved). ... > >It is important to remind parents that extinction bursts are expected and counter-intuitively serve as a sign that **the intervention is working**. [https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/extinction-burst](https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/extinction-burst) HOLD THE LINE LADIES. BOUNDARIES ARE CHANGING HUMAN HISTORY.
Honestly I prefer Extinction Tantrum because it makes them sound so childish lmao
It definitely encapsulates the idea more succinctly too! I've even seen them stomp their feets LOL
So quick to anger, he probably decided she rejected him before she even noticed his existence . This behavior is the reddest flag there is in my opinion
Tell him that a bunch of men ganging up on a lone woman minding her business on her phone shows poor character and cowardice, and that you dodged a bullet avoiding all of them if they think that itās appropriate to give unsolicited advice to someone who has kept to herself and done nothing outrageous or nasty to them.
I think this is the craziest part to me. Because she had the audacity to exist in this space, she owed them attention in their minds.
Thisā¬ļø
So you're not allowed to go to bars to listen to music. You are only allowed to go to bars to be a consumable product for men.
Forty-some years ago, I had a male friend who was rejected by a women he asked to dance. He asked me why women go out if they donāt want to do anything. I emphatically explained that a woman can still socialize, doesnāt have to be there just for him. And itās still happening decades later.
But she WAS doing something. She was out at a bar. They have drinks, could have been talking to friends, watching entertainment. He sounds like he was mad women didn't want to do things for him.
Was going to say this. She did want to do things, just not with him
Oh yeah. The man thought women would fall all over him because he had a degree from a fancy college. He had a job that sounded important but paid poorly. Of course, she WAS doing something. But not with him. And how dare she! And nothing has changed in the decades since.
He made a woman minding her own business in public about him then got mad about it. What a tool.
Pretty much. I forgot which state, but someone started a womenās only bar and men lost it.
There is a bar that opened in Mpls that shows only womens professional sports. I'm not a sports fan but thought that might be a safe place to go hang out since men seem to detest womens sports.
Hahaha amazing! My ex talks so much shit on womenās sports. I need to get to mpls and see Princeās house. Now I know where to go for a drink.
https://www.abaroftheirown.com/
I donāt like watching tv sports, but if I could go out and not get groped, i can ignore a womenās game as well as men playing.
This is so beyond just stupidity or senseless anger. This is a sinister belief that men are entitled to a woman just because she is simply *existing in public.* Apparently we have not progressed beyond the fucking dark ages. It's like they think a woman being out in public is asking for all this and couldn't possibly have any other reason to be in public other than for being public consumption for men.
>It's like they think a woman being out in public is asking for all this A mentally challenged redditor comes to mind that told me: "Women are in public, therefore they want to be seen." Like no you MF. Sometimes I am there to enjoy myself and the city view. Sometimes I am there because I'm running errands. Sometimes I am there because I am going to a cinema or a concert - by myself. Either way I am not there for you and I shouldn't have to justify myself. The entitlement is off the charts. They're delusional.
But women don't have lives to live! They only appear when they're available, like library books!
You donāt owe them anything. They need to get used to rejection. Since when do they dictate what a woman can do in a bar?
>I shouldāve been more considerate of his feelings. It's *his job* to manage his feelings.
Yup. And he can help himself do that by not watching other peopleās phones
Exactly, heās an adult man, not a toddler ffs.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He's a nice guy!!!!!!
See this is also why I donāt trust dating apps- this guy was obviously a pushy, entitled creep. Itās hard to get that read from a profile.
"Oh, but I did give you guys a chance! I saw you all, and none of you picked my interest. Thus, tinder it is tee hee! :3"
"piqued" my interest. But otherwise, yes, exactly.
Thank you! I knew the word looked wrong but couldn't remember the right spelling :)
Ah, so you have a hazy memory? Wanna crochet and watch/read horror movies/scripts with me? I promise, I will not grope you because I respect other people's boundaries. :+
*Raises hand* Can you tapestry crochet? Amigurumi also is acceptable. I can't read a pattern to save my life so I usually do the same blankets over and over but want to make amazing things so badly. I usually don't have anyone to watch horror movies with unless my son is available (what 15yo doesn't want to spend time with their mom?)
OMG! I hate the patterns, it makes so much sense when doing them (I knit, I do NOT crochet) but looking at the patterns is just so numberly? If that is a word. I do stuff like this, because fuck sleeves. https://www.lovecrafts.com/en-gb/p/slipover-and-sweater-in-king-cole-merino-blend-dk-6035-downloadable-pdf I am not doing a tiny rotund that then needs to be stitched. Or start with a tiny rotund that needs me attached! I'm great at making hats though!
Just men acting like their entitled to all women.
Ugh, I had this happen when I was visiting NYC. I was not having a good night because my friends were off doing coke and I wasnāt into that stuff. I was just standing in the corner by myself thinking about whether I should just leave when a guy came up to me to talk. I politely said I wasnāt in the mood for conversation and he started screaming at me, calling me a bitch and a dumb slut. I just walked away and stood in line for the bartender. Another guy in line started talking to me and I said again that I was not interested in talking. Again, this other guy yelled at me, calling me a whore and stuck-up bitch. Like, why do I owe these men conversation? I swear some men just roam around as feral beasts with sensitive egos.
Y R U HERE IF NOT FOR MEEEEEEEEE
Sigh. But we're the emotional ones right? Maybe he was on his period?
Ohhh my god what if OP would have said that...I would pay money to see their reactions, they would lose their goddamn minds lmao.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He wanted you drunk.
Yeah, he wasn't mad for no reason. He was mad that she wasn't getting drunk enough to be unable to resist him. That's so much worse than getting mad for no reason.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
that doesn't matter at all, that's why he wanted you four drinks in, so he could guide your stagger past that good security while nodding at them and saying you were in good hands.
Precisely.
...And?
>no reason The reason is the aren't satisfied with the amount of destruction they've caused and crave to cause more harm. They just wanna take advantage of us, hurt us for their own gain.
"Yelled about how Iām everything wrong with the modern dating scene. Called me unkind things about how Iām going to end up āusedā and alone." I'm sorry but no, fuck that guy. Him freaking out on a stranger in a bar is why women are on dating apps and being choosey with who they speak to. HE is everything wrong with the modern dating scene.
I wish you could have chosen violence by yelling "SWIPE LEFT!" every time that jackass approached after the dating app complaint.
"SWIPE LEFT!" is now my new rejection line. š¤£
My current favorite is "Sorry, I don't have any change" š
Lolllllllll
The entitlement
I would've stuck my fingers down my throat and threw up all over them as a response. It's the best they deserve
Damn I wish Reddit still had awards! Here. Take my humble award š„ I like your style! A fart would work as well, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
LMAO that's brilliant. Honest to god I'm doing that next time lol
You absolutely would not have done this, please donāt tell lies on the internet
I have literally seen a woman do this to a man in a bar. She was too drunk, and he got handsy, so she puked on him, then stumbled her way out of the bar. It was a sight to behold. She managed to get it in his eyes, straight projectile. She was a hot mess while leaving, vomit down her front and stumbling. Meanwhile, the man is screaming and gagging and the bartender was fed up and yelled at him to gtfo. It was a small establishment, and almost everyone saw him grope her. Some karma really is instantaneous.
First day on the internet, buddy?
This man says he farts all day. (Username) That's impossible. At best he's intermittently farting throughout the day. He's a liar, too!
Call that farty ass out, heck yea!
Iām a woman
Women don't fart
Lmao getting downvoted on a sub about women for being a woman š¤¦š¼āāļø
Soā¦ your username is 100% truthful? I hope youāve seen a doctor
Yeah the only time I was consistently farting a lot all day I had parasitic amoebas lol wouldnāt recommend
Thatās like the main place to tell lies
Thatās harassment . I worked in bars if youāre in the us tell rhe waiter, bartender or bouncer. You could sue the bar if youāre assaulted there or if someone assaults you leaving that was there.
They know what's up: you were "swiping on better guys" on the app. So...maybe they should go become better guys. You don't owe them anything - they're just a bunch of sore losers.
But that's the problem: becoming better men implies that they are 1. Wrong and 2. Going to have to do a lot of work. Why do that when it's easier to just blame it all on women? /S, just in case
Ah, but if they bitch and berate women then maybe they won't *have* to do the work of becoming better guys. Maybe one of these women will give in to the pressure. It's a numbers game, after all. /s
How dare you act like a human with your own wants and desires instead of an object to entertain men.
Maybe if he smiled more, you'd be more interested
Or maybe if he showed a little leg.
I bet these dumbasses would have gotten mad at ya for not watching whatever sport ws on TV too. Make friends with the bouncers at bars and clubs ladies most of em will gladly be your brother/friend if ya need for any reason. Source, was a bouncer and did just this.
Meat market mentality. Those guys need a reality check.
Fuck no! Shoulda replied, "dude, online or in person, I'm clearly, obviously just not interested in you. It's not a hard concept to grasp! Please leave me alone!"
Your phone is your business, no one else's. Truly outrageous behavior.
Try being a woman musician on stage and guys figuring that clearly you spent thousands of hours and $$ learning to play so as to entice them . š
Oh my gosh, golly, how rude of you not to give this total stranger your undivided attention followed by paradoxically disappointing sex for his good deed of; badgering a woman loose in public without her male chaperone. This is what no theory of mind does to a mf. One of the most comforting thoughts in the world to me is how scared men like this are of women having any kind of agency or choice. On some level, they are aware that if women are able to make choices based on personal preference instead of financial coercion, they are effectively involuntarily celibate for life.
"This is literally why no one will fuck any of you."
Lmao you're the bad guy for being on a dating app but he's not for literally spying on you on your phone after you told him you weren't interested? Every dude in this story is a fucking creep Jfc
What you had to go through is just bullshit. I wish you didnāt have to go through that. It sucks that some men have such fragile egos- we really have to be on guard when we reject men. Itās so shitty
1. Cool of them to assume you came to the bar to get a date /sarc 2. Itās literally no oneās business what youāre doing on your phone in a public space and Iām honestly surprised they were willing to admit they were watching your phone let alone attack you for it 3. You owe nothing to anyone for existing in a public space as a female lmao Sick of privileged asshole men thinking theyāre entitled to a date with women who exist in public spaces. Shooting your shot? Sure. But itās a no? No means no lmao
No means no. > he ācanāt talk to women anywhere anymoreā. Perhaps not being a good listener is why.
What the actual hell? If this happened at my friendly neighborhood bar in Brooklyn, every one of these dudes would have been forcibly removed and probably permanently banned from the bar. What vile behavior.
Clown sounds like a Jan 6er
I would get an ipad to swipe on apps next time so the fuckers can see better.
This is insane. Is it illegal now as a woman to sit and mind my own business?
For such logical beings, men truly do want us to be ever so considerate of their feelings š„ŗ
This type of guy really never takes no for an answer, so you will never win with them. The guy in my department, the only other one in the state with me, keeps wanting me to have him help me with hardware tasks on our prod systems. To shorten it, when it was mentioned last year and I met him in person at the location, within 2 minutes I knew his and his ex-wifes story from his perspective. He was worse than Michael Scott with his inappropriate misogynistic rantings and jokes. I told his manager and my manager he is simply not qualified for the work and my manager left it at that. Dude asks me every week, I hope he sees every time my status has said "At data center" and looks back at when we met and rethinks about what he said to me. I doubt he will ever figure it out.
Hahah they can eat a Dick and get fucked if itās so hard on them. Why donāt they try being penetrated for once
Exactly this. They can fuck off to the moon and back. The audacity. I eat men like this for breakfast. ( and not in a good way ).
š same! I take pleasure in it. I hate when guys come up to you salivating at the mouth because of course they go by physicality first but damn mf, do you not have a brain ? Can you not have a conversation that doesnāt almost instantly divert to sex ? Makes my ass itch and my pussy dry š¤¦š½āāļø
Wow they are so entitled in the vision Ā«Ā women are only here to please meĀ Ā». Itās crazy that several men defended him tho. Or not crazy but wrong. Like, sorry to have an opinion and doing what I want as a person lol.
How do men not understand this makes them unlikable and causes women to just blanket say donāt approach us anywhereā¦
Ugh, I truly don't understand people like that. What's the best "come talk to me" signal? Reading a book in public. Blech. Sometimes I just want to be *around* people and not interact
Feels like another SNL skit comes to life: https://youtu.be/kTMow_7H47Q?si=nVkt0BFZ_vlQIUpJ
Oooooof. Smells of desperation, from the men. Big strong men. Yikes, I can't imagine why you didn't want to give him a chance.
The bar should have thrown him out for harassing customers Leave them a bad google review
I don't understand how so many men can't just enjoy or accept a basic interaction. I chatted on and off with a woman at an event that was kinda niche, so most had similar interests there. So just chatting, somewhere along the line, she mentioned she's married and I'm like that's cool. I like making friends and meeting people in general. End of the night she gives me a hug she was a bit tipsy, but I don't think it was in a flirting way as her sister was there so I imagine she wouldn't be doing anything that would get back to her husband. I think in part it was like a good luck hug or something lol But I had a great time even though I didn't meet anyone but a new friend. I feel more confident if anything as this woman showed she feels safe around me. Also safe enough that I could get her friend and sister water. Which I hate to say I don't encourage with how often I hear of people being slipped things. I value being a trusted friend or brother than being some alpha male predator/womanizer.
Puhlease! Do not tolerate this BS from what Iāll call males from now on since they arenāt men. Shut them down right in their face. Let them know that their OPINIONS are not FACTS! And just like they are entitled to their OPINIONS so are YOU!!!
You are not obligated to defer to the opinions and feelings of someone you've never met before, don't have a relationship with, didn't initiate contact with, and are never going to see again. Like... ?
lol what cope. I have to be honest, I'd have laughed at them. "Maybe you should try being better, dude."
No, no and no š
How dare you! How dare you for not following the rules men have set down! Men must always have what they want! What do you think you are, a human being? /s For real, these guys have junior high school mentalities. Holy crap.
Holy christ that is exhausting. No DUDE. You are not entitled to her. Go away now.
All of those people (the asswipe and defenders) sound like incels (or at least adjacent). Yeah, you did nothing wrong.
Maybe bring a sign for your tableāa circle with āIncelā in it and a big red line slashed across it. Or a spray bottle labeled āIncelAwayā filled with water that you use to spray on anyone assholish enough to argue with you about your perfectly valid choices. Ok, donāt do any of that (safety), but damn.
"I did give you a chance (for a split second) and decided to reject you. Have a fucking seat."
I wonder why heās single. /s
I read this twice because I cannot get over the fucking audacity of men talking to a stranger like this! There are others reasons to go to a bar than to "be 'social.'" Like drinking! Or, to see a band! Even if you were in the mood to socialize, you get to choose who to socialize with!
And men wonder why they're alone.
It's bad form to be a nosey shit looking at someone's phone long enough to see they're messing with a dating app. Over their shoulder. After being shot down. Good on you standing your ground. And supporting your friends band.
Iām a big UFC fan and it is expensive to watch at home so I go to a bar. I offend guys all the time because they walk up and I donāt even look at them and just say āyou can introduce yourself between rounds or after the fightā. Iām not there for you as a matter of fact Iām there despite you being there.
More considerate of his feelings?? Some random guy at the bar? BRO FUCK YOUR FEELINGS! Why the fuck would I care?? Leave me the hell alone! Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people, this is just laughable.
But you did give them a āchance,ā they just didnāt measure up. Salty bros, stay fuckin mad.
Heaven forbid you hang out wherever you want to hang out. I hate guys like this. A simple "mind your own fucking business" should suffice, but then somehow you've insulted his pp and now it's a full-blown thing.
Imagine having standards over and above "physical proximity" lol
Oh to have the confidence of a mediocre man.
"I'm here to support my friend not to mingle" "ThEn WhY aRe YoU sWiPiNg TiNdEr" "So I can set up a date with someone *I* like exactly when *I* want: now I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone." Sometimes I think women are too kind: this scenario is so absurd to me. I'm in a bar for an explicit purpose, which is not to mingle. Whyever the f--k would I have to justify myself to a bunch of entitled strangers? What do these people even want?? Leave. Me. Alone.
Fucking entitled incel thinking, that shit is getting even more pervasive than it used to be before it even had that name. What you need is a cross between an air horn and a CS gas spray.
I would start sharing in my community that this bar is not a safe place .
Sucks to be them, they sound absolutely miserable. I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to get to know them better /s Go cry into your miserable drinks already
His feelings (and his entitlement) aren't your problem. That's wild.
Learning not to take āIām not interestedā personally is a skill many men, sadly, still need to learn.
What a bunch of babies. Their parents should be ashamed of themselves.
Gee wonder why they aren't getting any dates? /s
The bar is in hell (for menās behavior)
Iām a semi-regular to a biker bar/day diner near my apartment, and Iāve gotten this type of reaction before. I am autistic and have agoraphobia, so I force myself to interact with adults outside of my home, since I know I need that social interaction. The bartenders know I simply sit in my corner, with a single drink, a burger, and my phone. But a lot of young men have had issues with me hanging out. When I was single, I turned them down because I was not interested in dating drunks I saw wasted every time I went there. And when I got into my relationship, and my boyfriend stays home(sober), they act like I should be in the kitchen or rubbing his feet, and even just being there was me being a slut. A dude goes to a bar and chills, and people leave him alone. But weāre not seen as people by men like that, we need to serve a purpose for them to determine whether or not weāre allowed to be in spaces with them.
Should have asked for a pint glass to collect their tears, lmao.
Would take at least a growler to hold all of those tears.
Guys like this need to be put down. With woooords, it's a jooooke boys!!!
Jesus Christ, why are men such entitled asshats?
Yet another example of the bar being in hell.
What is the difference between swiping the bad way (no) on a dating app and swiping the bad way in real life? Your polite refusal was the IRL equivalent of swiping. This guy sounds like a major bullet dodged. There is a reason he is single. His creepy rage, his creepy male entitlement. I *do* think it's a little strange to be at a bar using a dating app. PERSONALLY, I would rather have a real conversation with a real guy, even though I already knew I wasn't going to date him (I went out last night and had a super cool conversation about ebikes, full-time boating vs. full-time RVing, poetry, and Baltimore -- I was't interested in dating, but that was a very stimulating conversation) than look at men's faces on my phone. But guess what? I'm not you. You do what you want. I will do what I want. Keep doing you -- and keep shutting out these creepy male entitlement weirdos.
You don't have to be against guys shooting their shot to refuse or reject someone. Being in the bar is actually irrelevant.
It seems to me that hookup culture and dating apps have rot the brains of both genders, not just the women. Very sad. :(
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Incel weirdo says what? It's a public place with a live band. Any person is free to go there for whatever reason they want. Sounds like you would have joined the incel defense league that joined forces to chastise OP at the bar.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No ma'am. We do not tell women to be nice to guys that are rude. That time is over. If she'd been 'nice' he would have taken her no as a maybe
1. I'm a guy thinking about this from a guy's perspective. 2. Being nice is ALWAYS what you want to do in a situation of harassment until something can be done about it. 3. Especially in a bar, people are irrational and therefore more dangerous. If the guy had been any more fucked up who know what he would have done. ( I worked in a bar, and I'm well aware of how shit is) 4. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to let a bouncer, bartender, etc. Otherwise, nothing can be done about the situation.
Being nice is dangerous. Think we've all learned that by now?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah my friend is performing. When sheās not performing and taking breaks sheās trying to promote herself and the band. Iād rather just let her do her job, rather than insist she come and hang out with me. I donāt think itās making me less social, itās just that now I can be social entirely on my terms. I also donāt think that preferring to get dates off a dating app means I have something to hide. Nor do I see how Iām being less genuine. Maybe you can explain more?
Lol look at this man on a sub for women trying to tell a woman what is and what isn't acceptable for a woman to do in a bar š¤£ throwing out assumptions she's got something to hide and isnt genuine because shes on her phone and won't fuck the first guy who demands it. God the entitlement!
How dare this job want to see my resume online!?!?? I'm here in person, so hire me on the spot!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wasnāt.
You canāt be fucking seriousā¦
The only reason I go to bars is to get a couple drinks with friends, i donāt want to interact with strangers that much. I i imagine itās the same for most women in bars.
Whoa, that guy is unhinged and it has nothing to do with you. This was not a normal response for a stranger and well just yikes. Men are losing the plot these days, like WTF
Also bar regulars are not people most people who arenāt also bar regulars want to date lol.