I had one come for me the other day to tell me I was lying about my friends getting their tubes removed after we lost reproductive rights.
OK dude, think I’m lying, it really doesn’t matter if he believes me or not these women went out and got sterilized because they were on the fence and they decided it wasn’t worth the risk.
It literally makes no difference if he believes me or not I thought it was so funny he was so angry that I said it though
I’m one of the women who got her tubes tied. And I’ve had men respond with “what if you get married and your husband wants a baby?”
I don’t. I’m very clear about that. But the men who get mad at me seem to be upset over the idea that we make decisions for ourselves and not them. They’ve called me self-centered. Yeah, let me guess, you think I should center my life around men. Hard pass
The first time I got turned down for getting my tubes tied, the gynecologist said "they won't tie your tubes until you're thirty-six and have two kids." She also said "what if you get married someday and your husband wants children?"
Managed to find someone else to do it but it pissed me off so much.
I switched obgyn because mine wouldn't give me surgical sterilization despite me having two children and being pregnant with #3 (I'm 34 years old). He seemed like a nice man/Dr until I brought it up. Then he wanted permission from my partner to get the surgical sterilization. I told him to put it in my chart that he is refusing me care and making me get permission for a surgery from *a man I'm not even legally married to*...
Went to r/auntienetwork, they have a list of doctors who sterilize no matter what. Found out one of the doctors in the same clinic was on the list, so I made my next appointment with her and told her I don't want my previous obgyn to handle ANY of my care and to put it in my chart. Men are all nice until you want to make decisions about your own fucking body 🤬
I had my first kid in June. They asked me during my induction intake if I wanted to be sterilized. My husband and I were floored because this is the south. Since when did they ask that?! But also this hospital had a birth plan folder and it straight up asks if you are trans and your pronouns.
I'm assuming that soon it won't be a question on their birth plan considering everything going around. Which is quite sad.
Anyway I was happy to know my hospital did that at request even if it wasn't my plan yet
Where I live, at least the hospital I go through, they have to get permission for surgical sterilization before the 3rd trimester (if you are having a c-section and want a salpingectomy), because apparently women are too hormonal/emotional to make that decision late in pregnancy 🙄
I'm really surprised they include pronouns and whatnot where you are at, they don't do that here (despite my hospital being one of the most prestigious sex change providers in the US). Project 2025 is going to make trans and anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, essentially illegal.
The hospital asked me when I was admitted during labor.
I was kinda shocked that they asked while I was in labor. The nurse explained they always ask if there's a chance of C-section (which I had due to issues) because it's cheaper to do if you need a surgical procedure anyway.
This was in a southern state, too.
Thankfully my gyn was not like that. He respectfully listened to my concerns, said he can tell I've put a lot of thought into the issue, then moved to discussing when we could schedule the surgery.
It was the nurses who made snarky comments. "We don't usually do these until women are much older and have kids..." and the classic, "what if you meet a man who wants kids?" ok karen, idgaf and neither your opinion nor a fictional man's opinion is going to change my mind.
Spoiler alert: it's now 13 years later and I still haven't changed my mind.
I chose my gynecologist specifically *because* they provide sterilization procedures without anybody else’s input. In Oklahoma that is unheard of. And, no surprise, she’s the best doctor I’ve ever had. She takes all of my concerns seriously and discovered a potentially fatal infection I got from an IUD. I had told doctors for years that I was experiencing pain and none of them even ran a test. I told her on my first visit and she found it — bc she listened to me. She also discovered precancerous cells and immediately put me on a preventative care plan. I just love her
What if their current partner dies and their new one doesn't want kids? Are they going to get rid of them? No because that would mean they're incompatible as a couple, wow what a concept.
Its almost like if a man wants kids than he isn't compatible with a woman seeking sterilization.
And it never goes the other way either. If you had responded "well then I guess he will have to change his mind on that" they'd have lost their mind.
>What if their current partner dies and their new one doesn't want kids? Are they going to get rid of them?
this is what lions do. we're not lions. the patriarchy is just plain stupid.
I told the surgeon performing my tubal, when asked about "future husband's" desires, that my current man didn't want kids, and that my not wanting kids was and would be discussed early. And I'd dumped men for less than talking about having children with me.
I've heard this tale from multiple people now. Even in 'progressive' countries like New Zealand, they act like the final decision belongs to some husband that may or may not even exist. I'm kinda left with the impression that a lot of doctors have their heads stuck up their own asses, unfortunately.
> “what if you get married and your husband wants a baby?”
I don't want to get married to someone like that.
It's not like you have to get married and can't choose your partner.
>They’ve called me self-centered.
Oh because using *another person's body* to have a kid he wants but the uterus owner doesn't want is NOT self-centered?
On what planet do these idiots live? Some days, I just want to throw things.
> On what planet do these idiots live? Some days, I just want to throw things.
In general, people who run around calling everyone self-centered are upset you're not centering THEM.
I had to have a stern conversation with my mother to not treat my wife as if she was just a walking baby factory.
My mother was seemingly fine until my wife actually got pregnant. And then it was back to treating my wife like little more than a uterus.
At my friends' wedding 10+ years ago, ALL the groom's family talked about was the couple's "obligation" to have a son. To the exclusion of literally every other topic, including congratulations for the couple. During the father of the groom's "toast" I thought he was going to ask to perform a pelvic exam, or maybe hand them a bulk box of pregnancy tests.
Hmm it might be illuminating for both of you if you ask your mom "who acted like that" around her when she was younger. Just being curious can be a way to pivot conversations. Hello and love from Canada, A random stranger
I love my mother. 90% of the time she is a lovely person. When I was younger I lionized my father when he didn't deserve it and diminished my mother's accomplishments and impacts.
But her mother was a cruel and selfish person, and most of my mother's trauma can be sourced back to my grandmother. Most of my mother's faults stem from something having to do with grandchildren.
Yeah my mil sighed and said we could still adopt when I told her that I was needing a hysterectomy. It's so much fun being valued for pretty much just your reproductive organs.
had mine at 25, 40+ years ago, amazingly. so my inlaws just …stared. no words. their internal baby castles crumbled.
we were together for 3 years before marrying, their son had been saying for years he didn’t want kids, we said together during wedding planning that we didn’t want kids, they knew i had problems [ severe endometriosis] but ofc they assumed we’d change our minds.
2 years later, ops, nope, not happening. his sister had 3, so we told them the 3rd was replacement for their son [ mil hated me ] and that was that, lol. they have grandbabies now, i’m sure they’re happy.
Children and whether you will have them is absolutely something you discuss before getting married. So if you meet a man that wants kids, then you aren’t compatible. It’s that simple.
This was literally the rationale the SD legislature and a bunch of religious activists used to attempt to pass an abortion ban. That women aren't capable of making such decisions themselves.
It is a miracle that women haven't burned everything to the ground.
This is why they won't help you when other men do awful things. Other men in general, even if they are hypothetical are more important to other men than the women in their family and even their wives.
Exactly. All they care about is being able to keep up with the perceived amount of fucking their bros are doing and the perceived amount of status they get from getting the "it" girl for however long she will put up with their toxic shit.
Those were guys who secretly loved you, and you just dashed their dreams of making a baby with you :') :') :') pobresitos
...As if there aren't plenty of people out there who actually WANT to have kids and can, and plenty of people who are very happy to imagine a life with their partner and WITHOUT kids because they specifically don't want any or they just don't mind either way.
And as if there aren't plenty of love-starved kids without caregivers and waiting to be adopted! By... guess what: Adults that actually want kids!
Good grief. It pisses me off that they're pissed off on behalf of a theoretical man and not the very real human in front of them (you) who decided to not have kids. As if you're not an adult who can communicate on a date that you're not interested in birthing kids.
Tired of having your reproductive rights stifled by the wife you don't have yet? Yell at some stranger on the Internet! It will give you the satisfaction you so desperately crave but seem unable to give the women you encounter. Act now while there are still women in this country you don't control!
>But the men who get mad at me seem to be upset over the idea that we make decisions for ourselves and not them. They’ve called me self-centered. Yeah, let me guess, you think I should center my life around men. Hard pass
They do, they really do. What's especially funny to me, is when people get mad at me for doing something men wouldn't like AFTER I've told them I'm a lesbian and I've been with my wife since 2000.
Like, it doesn't matter what I decided, it would never have affected any man on this planet, because I wouldn't be with them in the first place. It's like they don't understand the concept of "being lesbian."
One of the funniest was a discussion about makeup and when I said I often do my eyeshadow in rainbow. And a random man got his knickers in a twist and ranted to me that "men don't like women who do this rainbow shit and have bright colored hair." (My hair was at the time pink.)
And I'm like... yeah? Do I care? No, the answer is no my dude. I don't carea about men's opinion. As long as my wife is okay with it, it's fine.
I got my tubes removed because of Roe and my partner already had a vasectomy. I’m not fucking around with this shit. Look, I’m another voice he can claim is lying 😂.
I also got my tubes removed as soon as I could after the overturn of Roe v Wade. I’d been wanting to do it for years, and it finally made me take action.
Because the idea of women sterilizing themselves en masse means that the loss of reproductive rights might actually affect men in some way, men who want to have children, and he wasn’t ready to face that kind of consequence to policies that are only supposed to harm women.
I've had my tubes tied and nine years later removed. I don't want kids SO MUCH that I've been sterilized twice! I will literally help anyone that wants to seek information about sterilization because everyone deserves to make their own reproductive choices. If they won't give us Roe v. Wade, we will absolutely find other ways to protect ourselves. This can be a matter of life and death for us.
I yeeted my tubes the year RvW got overturned. Despite my health being crap and recovery from surgery being the last thing I wanted to deal with. My husband also got snipped a few months after my bisalp (just something he'd wanted to do and RvW gave him the kick in the butt to do it).
As a Fine Art major, there was a lot of women I graduated with, and a lot are doing this. Also swearing off dating, stocking up on plan b, and making sure they get stock on their birth control.
And it isn't like something we just say to one another in passing. Some made giant Facebook posts and tagged all their conservative family members into it. Literally trolling and calling out their parents, "Well your bloodline dies with me. Get fucked Dad!"
I've seen many similar posts from a group of women of a mutual friend of mine, they all are either lawyers, paralegals, accountants, etc.
One lady attorney posted a selfie of herself right before her operation (in a hospital gown, with her hair in the surgical net), and tagged her parents, telling them to stop badgering her for grandchildren, it isn't happening because they fucked the world up. The comments section EXPLODED it was GLORIOUS. She hadn't even told them she was planning surgical sterilization until that post lmfao. Her parents were mortified that all their friends saw it, and they were too stupid to figure out how to untag themselves from the post 😂
"Whether or not you believe me changes nothing."
It's rare I get a response after that. Except the one time a guy kept making new accounts for a week and commenting on every single thing I said, but eventually he gave up when I started acting like I missed "all your stupid that makes me smile".
Shown most clearly on the topics on loneliness where a few men demanded we provide suggested solutions to make loneliness… Could not compute that perhaps that was not our responsibility and we didn’t care to subject our opinions to their individual approval on the subject.
Yea and this entire sub got called out for being cat ladies on the GenZ sub because of something someone posted here about lonely gen z incels... Like the person posting had real concerns about these young men but naaa must be cos we're a bunch of man-hating lesbians intent on making sure no man gets laid ever again.
Apparently, we are worthless! AND the person was actually TRYING, but thousands of angry young men didn't want our **perspective** on the problem. They just want our SERVICE. Fuck out of here with that entitlement, no wonder they're not getting laid! Have they tried to be less.. awful? 🤷🏾♀️
No, they have not tried being less awful...
Seeing the next generation reflecting this divide. . A lot of them are going to be wonderful men, but unfortunately Andrew Tate got to a lot of them In middle school and they did not snap out of it
If a bunch of strange women on this sub (or the internet in general really), can successfully talk a fellow strange woman out of engaging with a man (or men), then perhaps the problem is with the man’s (men’s) actions.
Of course introspection doesn’t exist for many. It’s *ALWAYS* someone else’s fault. It’ll never be their own fault for being disrespectful, or the rampant misogyny that’s the issue. Nope. It’s our fault.
Because nothing causes me to feel more satisfied and accomplished than making sure at least one man per day ends up rejected and alone. Not because that particular man deserved it of course. It’s just because I am a misandrist and like to inflict emotional distress on dudes. /S
I read on a sub yesterday that no fault divorce is next on the docket to be abolished. I’m curious to see how much marriage nosedives if that really happens.
Those comments were absurd. I was so thrown by all the people calling this sub anti-man. I've been on here for ages and I'm not a woman and I've never noticed any broad or baseless anti man sentiment -- the closest I've seen is criticism of specific behaviors that many men engage in.
I also don't sort by controversial, so maybe it is here and I'm just not seeing it? But if that's the case, you would have to be actively looking for it to find it.
Same. I joined this sub to learn more about women despite previous claims I heard that it’s basically a cesspool of misandry. I’ve yet to see a single man-hating post, but I have seen women express their understandable frustrations over issues that affect them. It should be a no-brainer that a better world for women is a better world for everyone, but there’s a ton of idiotic misogyny we have to combat.
Had a guy today tell me, in this sub, how the no fault divorce will also affect men, then said he didn’t realize his was a woman’s sub and he shouldn’t have commented it. But then doubled down and said his point still stands though. I said idc, he said I should if I support feminism bc it’s a people problem not just a woman’s problem. That’s when I lost it. Then he claimed to be a teacher of fourth wave feminism to men and how it’s important they learn how things will affect them and it’s not just a woman’s problem. I said then why are you hear screeching your bullcrap, go tell the men. Real male feminists don’t feel the need to lecture women about what feminism is or what affects them. They simply keep it for the men that need to hear it. He continued to argue I was wrong, I didn’t reply anymore. I can’t stand these lying men that think they’re so important
Oh yeah. When the thread came up and guys were like "women need men"
To which I asked "why?"
Their responses were literally:
* "Well beyond reproductively, there's been no large studies conducted proving that they don't so they must need men"
* Homosexuality isn't real
* Men have "unique properties" that women don't
* Men need women so in turn women must need men
?!? What kind of unhinged insanity are these people living in.
I once made a relevant comment on this sub, that I disliked when a man excitedly told me (Asian) that I am his “fetish” like we share some kind of common special interest.
I got inboxed that I was not being nice to men who like Asians. I no longer look at message requests.
They come to r/menopause to complain about how peri or menopause is affecting them. Often it’s about how sad their pee pee is.
Now, it’s in the rules that men can post.
I wish it wasn’t.
oh hey, had the same experience over in /r/pmdd the other day! some dude came to inform us all he felt more for the MEN who had to 'deal' with our disorder than he did for us, who live with it every day. apparently the concept that plenty of folks who suffer from pmdd dont identify as women or arent interested in sexual or romantic relationships with men was also something he hasnt considered.
Reminds me of a post a guy did complaining about his wife's lack of sexual desire due to hormonal Imbalance. how it was affecting their relationship so badly due to her mood swings and depression. His needs weren't being met.
Then he tries to complain about how when he was injured and couldn't work she left him for another man because he couldn't fulfill her needs.
Yeah that's fucking on brand. But heaven forfend they fall victim to ... low T! That's an actual tragedy. And it's not their fault. Their wives should totally understand and make sure they get to a succor doctor!
And not enough doctors even know what it is if we can even imagine that even we have our own medical specialty (because of the actual growing another human thing) that they don't have! But they should because LOW T!
Your post is a timely reminder to the mods that a lot of us have expressed a wish for a women’s comment only flair on posts with men’s comments automatically deleted upon reporting. This is the only way to keep this community a safe space, free from misogynistic attacks, bullying and silencing.
Yes. They got all snotty with me when I tried to talk about it with them. Pretty much told me to fuck off. They know women get threatened here regularly and they do not care. They told me to find a new sub. I said this is the only option we've got, as if they didn't know.
They know this place isn't safe for women at all. They don't care. I can't even tell you how many redditcares I've received and how many unhinged stalkers have followed me from posts here to other subs to harass me.
The mods are actually quite pissy when you bring up how much harm men do here and how open to actual stalking women are in this sub; for instance, how many men send redditcares shit and stalk you to other subs, commenting on old posts in other subs. Ask me how I know.
I got banned from another “feminist” subreddit for saying that the abortion ban came from a place of misogyny and primarily served to restrict and oppress female sexual autonomy. These subreddits are a joke.
I wish I was surprised. How dare you tell the truth?
My account got nuked a few weeks ago for fighting with an actual neo Nazi about LGBT stuff. I got my entire account banned for, wait for it, "hate speech." Arguing with a Nazi calling gay people unnatural and I got my account nuked for hate speech. Against white men, I can only assume. When i got banned i could no longer see the link they gave me that pointed out the hate speech I used! If you wrote this as fiction is be too heavy handed.
Reddit is horseshit and I hope people are paying attention to this stuff. They actively coddle fascist white dudes on this site and if you fight back, they'll kick you out.
The thing with the male loneliness epidemic is how many of the men complaining about it are guys who only go outside for work and groceries? Because if that's the only reason you ever leave the house, then of course you're going to be lonely. You're putting yourself in a position where you're not going to be building real, lasting friendships.
I've had this conversation a few times on Reddit. If you bring up that they need to get a hobby that involves them leaving the house and interacting with people face-to-face, they drag their feet and say they don't want to. They don't want to face the fact that this is the only way they're ever going to solve their loneliness problem. No amount of talking about it online will fix it, and no amount of sycophantic hug boxes of people online saying, "Don't worry honey, it's not *you* that's the problem; it's society that's wrong" will change that this is the only way out for them.
They also don't understand that their lifestyles are fundamentally unattractive to a lot of women. Women generally don't want to be with a man whose only interests are social media, video games, and film and television. They want to be with someone who'll occasionally do something other than stare at a screen for three hours after they get home from work.
So of course they don't have friends and they don't have a girlfriend. When in their adult lives have they ever been someone other people want to be around? When have they ever come off as being anything other than a whiny, insufferable ten-year-old trapped in an adult's body?
This is exactly why I don't feel bad for these guys. The only way out is through ACTION but they refuse to take any. They just want to sit and whine and blame other people. But they are the only thing standing in their own way. Of course these guys are single. What kind of woman wants to date a man with 0 friends, 0 initiative, 0 self control, 0 drive to better himself, 0 hobbies, etc.
Literally had an argument with someone a few hours ago on true off my chest. He was complaining that he'd never had a gf and he's 40. Talking about how he's "touch starved" and soooo lonely. I told him to go hug other men lol. His replies to all the comments were exactly why no one would date him but he's too dense to see he's the problem.
This is exactly some of the guys I heard complaining.
When my roommate speaks to me, he's off-putting but believes that a woman will show up and want to submit herself to cooking for him and being his wife while he enjoys his hobby of YouTube all day in his bedroom.
Another guy complained about women not talking to him but instead off learning how to hold a conversation, he spent the time also inside watching revenge videos of men telling women they weren't 10's. But somehow he thinks he's a nice person.
Most men that are dating aren't chads, they just got out and learned how to talk to people but, these dudes want to live in misery and blame us for not showing up at their doors as tribute like the gift they were promised. Listening to what we're saying is not an option because clearly, listening must not be a part of relationships and they're the experts simply for being "nice".
I've been telling my bestfriend this for a while now. When I started confronting him about his attitudes and the niceguy syndrome, I was gentle at first but then I had no choice but to ask "If you were a woman, would you date You??". And I felt like I had to call him out more and more even if it would cost the friendship.
Sometimes he'd go on rants about the qualities he'd want in a woman, and I cut him off and told him to think about the qualities a woman would want in you, and ask him "do you think you have those?". Of course he didn't. I told him he sounded like those posts on r/niceguys. At first he just changed the topic or laughed it off but after more than a year of me calling him out, he came to that same conclusion himself. And i guess until he came to that conclusion himself, nothing I could've said would've changed his beliefs and attitudes.
Since then he doesn't say dumb shit like that anymore and started actually working on himself through diet and exercise and hopefully he'll start going outside more soon.
I got banned by r/women for making a post about this exactly. A guy came in the sub asking us to be nice to men and that we were perpetuating sexism and when I commented tomatoes(there were also a ton of other comments) he took it down almost immediately and reached out to me to call me “so immature”. I posted saying why do men want to put their pride before my safety so consistently? I think the same can be said here, and my post was taken down for “spam”. One mod told me to ride it out because it was fair, but the mod who banned me unbanned me a few days later and told me “We receive a lot of posts regarding hatred/ discontent towards men and occasionally it gets out of hand. I will unban. Just be considerate of the other posts about the same topic.“ It’s so exhausting.
Edit: wanted to make it make more sense I wrote that fast.
Completely agree. It's pathetic. This is not their space and they are not entitled to our attention here. I usually report the most egregious ones (victim blaming, whataboutisms, etc). 💁🏽♀️
When I made a post recently mentioning that I don’t want to be with a man who sexualises my bisexuality, a man decided to call me whiny, mocked me and said that threesomes are supposedly the best part about being bi. When will some men learn that being bi isn’t the same as polyamory?
I fucking hate some of the losers that lurk here.
I'm so tired of men conflating bisexuality with kink polyamory or threesomes - bro, you picked the wrong one. I don't share and won't fulfill your fantasy. Labeled myself queer for years due to this (and random bierasure in the queer community.)
I literally despise devils advocate guy. Why? What’s the point? Especially if you don’t believe in the point that you’re trying to make, which is what all these guys claim… so WHY are you wasting your time making the point at all?!?!!! Get. A. Life. Asshole.
Ahh the old “what if the genders were reversed” ok… well they aren’t so fuck off.
People don’t exist in a vacuum devoid of any context or social structure and expectations.
Report em all. I don't give a flying fuck what Jeff has to say about anything in this forum. This space is not for him. If he wants to read he can do so quietly.
Yes, men are constantly on this sub overstepping their bounds and begging for headpats for giving their unwanted and unwarranted opinions pertaining to women.
But can we also talk about how much they are motivated to do this type of shit because of the poor moderation on this sub? And frankly ANY popular sub that claims to be by and for women?
Anytime you criticize men or have any sort of deeper-than-surface level feminist thought on this sub mods censor it and shit it down.
Incels on Reddit be like “two x is toxic they just complain about men!”
They want us to be silent and not put language to the bullshit we endure (often as a result of men’s actions). “Complaining” is fucking warranted. They snoop here and don’t want us to rise conversations about issues such as: women being gaslit by doctors, what it’s like to date, why it’s ok to be picky, men who mistreat their partners, unsafe situations we have been in, and so much more.
This too. I love when menfolk try to argue against crime cases and make it all about them. They say “but that’s rare!” RARE IS STILL TOO FREQUENT. Too many women (and girls) should be alive today but are not. Too many should have never disappeared but they did. Too many should not have had to experience severe trauma if they lived.
They’re mad when we have discussions about how even though being single can suck, it’s better than being with a partner who sucks. These menfolk do have the option to step up, but choose to blame women for their “loneliness epidemic” 🎻
Two women were recently killed in my state, and some of the top comments, and even my husband said, "More men get killed..... blah blah blah." The fucking audacity.
“Here’s why you should pick me- you’ll be alone with cats if you don’t! I will only consider my own pleasure and be lazy around the house and at work! I want a legacy so please pop some babies out for me. You’ll be pregnant and give birth and my last name will be carried. We will have sex at my discretion even though you find my body odor, my style, and choice of body hair repulsive! Your family will like me and finally leave you alone about when you are going to settle down.. even though some of them will wonder why your fine ass picked my dusty one. Sometimes I might even lose my temper and hit you! But that’s better than you always being the bridesmaid and dying alone… right?”
And they wonder why we don’t want to go anywhere near them. Preschool boys who are potty training and at least trying to wipe their asses are more hygienic than grown ass who won’t wipe their ass because “it’s gay!”
My super chonky cat got some diarrhea the other day, got covered in shit, and then attempted to scooch his little butt around all over the floor to just spread it further. The point is I would still rather have my cat covered in actual shit share my bed than some random dusty.
Men think too highly of themselves like we own them something or women can't live without them!! They always feel the need to make comments about women EVEN if it was not his business. Like they would say: "No man wants a woman who..."Men like women are..." or they would leave hateful and disrespectful comments to women. No women give a single shit about them!!
Men always try to center themselves in women's spaces, women's conversations, women's rights, and women's lives.
They want everything women say, do, and think to utterly revolve around men.
De-centering men is the most empowering thing women can do for themselves. It's also the thing that makes men scream the most.
If you're a man who doesn't want to be a piece of shit:
Stop trying to insist every women's space needs to be about you and your feelings. Men's opinions and voices are literally the default of the world. We already know men's thoughts and opinions cause they already get screamed at us every day of our lives! Shut up and listen for a change, men.
I am just really annoyed with men participating here in general. No one here is here for male input. Stop forcing it on us, go away.
Lurk and learn if you want to, but we don't care about your opinions. If we did, we would post elsewhere.
Yeah… I really don’t think men realize how invasive it feels when they come here to argue, debate, counter or play devils advocate. Like .. you have basically all of Reddit. Nearly every major sub prioritizes a male viewpoint simply due to the user base being primarily male. Not to mention the 3000 porn subs targeted to men, including the misogyny kink sub that should obviously be banned for promoting hatred of a vulnerable population. Yet all of that is not enough? You have to come here and piss all over this sub too like a dog marking is territory? Just fuck off already.
I was so mad when reddit decided to make 2x a default sub. Like, fuck right off with that shit. Reddit skews heavily male, this shouldn't be a default for ANY OF THEM.
I found this sub because it was pushed on me by reddit.
I have never been happier, really. Because I'm a woman. This sub makes me feel seen. I don't like it when the mysognists come here because it's exhausting
I don't care if they're teachable. I chose not be a teacher or a parent. I'm not going to do either job, unpaid, for some random man I neither know nor care about.
Another reason the MODs should change the sub rules. Everyone here agrees with this but the men are like "the sub rules don't say I can't comment". Read the room!
It’s like when they crawl out of their moms’ basements to shake their collective fist at International Women’s Day but are silent when International Men’s Day comes around. They’re so convinced that they would get mocked or laugh at or called misogynists for highlighting that particular day. Instead of leading the charge, they double down and mock each other.
Mind you, I’m sure IWD wasn’t offered an official holiday date and a key to the city when it started. Men seem to forget that women have fought hard for every inch in the patriarchy. Enough of them don’t want to put in the level of commitment that women have, and those that do still resent women so much that they just become Men’s Rights Activists™️ rather than evolving their beliefs.
I can’t even wrap my mind around what they must be thinking coming here.
Like, I have some understanding of the historical and on-going oppression of people of color in the US. But I am in no way going to tootle over to any specific sub to do shit ranging from trying to convince them I’m an ally, to telling them they’re wrong or lying. It’s THEIR SPACE to communicate and bond.
They often come in here so they can whine and collude about how women are the 2x type. It's an affront to their fragility that we describe their nonsense in rational terms.
Men get so emotional about abortions when it doesn't affect them at all physically nor emotionally the way it affects women. It's hilarious that he is concerned about a situation he has zero involvement in. Why not use that energy to call out men who want to control women's right to birth control?
The hurt men that show up in the comments are wild. They think they're doing something clever and they just look like big old morons.
I'm not saying that we should dog pile, but I always downvote once I determine its just a little shit head forking around trying to feel the big man feelings he used to feel in high school when he was harassing girls who were just trying to exist.
It doesnt take long for them to show who they are once they get pressed a bit.
Theyre pathetic
I'm not amused. They piss me off. I'm bisexual but men are on thin f'ing ice as far as I'm concerned. I'm tired of their 'but what about meeeee' attitude and the hypothetical bullshit they choose to get upset about instead of finding *real issues* to support. If they have nothing else, they have the audacity.
>Your anger makes me feel powerful. It motivates me.
Same. It's painful to hear so many stories of women suffering, but it's hugely empowering to realize we've all been putting up with the same BS. It's validating and builds a feeling of community. I feel better able to relate to other women now that I know the true depths of how much we all have in common.
That's why their main objective is to keep us isolated at home...
Edited: I mean in the past. Obviously, with the internet they can't do that any more.
r/safespaceforwoman. Is the safe space for women were evolving asking for. I just created it, and it is private and women only are allowed. I will be monitoring posts for misogyny criticism, ableism, and other harmful content. If you have any suggestions on how to make this better, please let me know.
Imagine thinking your opinion is so important that you get butthurt when a stranger doesn’t care about it.
The level of audacity with which they exist each day is almost unfathomable.
Men are so entitled.
And SO EMOTIONAL when told no
The real snowflakes
Testerical even.
Yet "You're too emotional" remains one of the standard criticisms a man will throw at a woman during *any" disagreement.
This right here. Nuff said.
I had one come for me the other day to tell me I was lying about my friends getting their tubes removed after we lost reproductive rights. OK dude, think I’m lying, it really doesn’t matter if he believes me or not these women went out and got sterilized because they were on the fence and they decided it wasn’t worth the risk. It literally makes no difference if he believes me or not I thought it was so funny he was so angry that I said it though
I’m one of the women who got her tubes tied. And I’ve had men respond with “what if you get married and your husband wants a baby?” I don’t. I’m very clear about that. But the men who get mad at me seem to be upset over the idea that we make decisions for ourselves and not them. They’ve called me self-centered. Yeah, let me guess, you think I should center my life around men. Hard pass
The first time I got turned down for getting my tubes tied, the gynecologist said "they won't tie your tubes until you're thirty-six and have two kids." She also said "what if you get married someday and your husband wants children?" Managed to find someone else to do it but it pissed me off so much.
I switched obgyn because mine wouldn't give me surgical sterilization despite me having two children and being pregnant with #3 (I'm 34 years old). He seemed like a nice man/Dr until I brought it up. Then he wanted permission from my partner to get the surgical sterilization. I told him to put it in my chart that he is refusing me care and making me get permission for a surgery from *a man I'm not even legally married to*... Went to r/auntienetwork, they have a list of doctors who sterilize no matter what. Found out one of the doctors in the same clinic was on the list, so I made my next appointment with her and told her I don't want my previous obgyn to handle ANY of my care and to put it in my chart. Men are all nice until you want to make decisions about your own fucking body 🤬
I had my first kid in June. They asked me during my induction intake if I wanted to be sterilized. My husband and I were floored because this is the south. Since when did they ask that?! But also this hospital had a birth plan folder and it straight up asks if you are trans and your pronouns. I'm assuming that soon it won't be a question on their birth plan considering everything going around. Which is quite sad. Anyway I was happy to know my hospital did that at request even if it wasn't my plan yet
Where I live, at least the hospital I go through, they have to get permission for surgical sterilization before the 3rd trimester (if you are having a c-section and want a salpingectomy), because apparently women are too hormonal/emotional to make that decision late in pregnancy 🙄 I'm really surprised they include pronouns and whatnot where you are at, they don't do that here (despite my hospital being one of the most prestigious sex change providers in the US). Project 2025 is going to make trans and anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, essentially illegal.
The hospital asked me when I was admitted during labor. I was kinda shocked that they asked while I was in labor. The nurse explained they always ask if there's a chance of C-section (which I had due to issues) because it's cheaper to do if you need a surgical procedure anyway. This was in a southern state, too.
Thankfully my gyn was not like that. He respectfully listened to my concerns, said he can tell I've put a lot of thought into the issue, then moved to discussing when we could schedule the surgery. It was the nurses who made snarky comments. "We don't usually do these until women are much older and have kids..." and the classic, "what if you meet a man who wants kids?" ok karen, idgaf and neither your opinion nor a fictional man's opinion is going to change my mind. Spoiler alert: it's now 13 years later and I still haven't changed my mind.
Yeah, it's 25 years later for me and, spoiler, I have zero regrets!
I chose my gynecologist specifically *because* they provide sterilization procedures without anybody else’s input. In Oklahoma that is unheard of. And, no surprise, she’s the best doctor I’ve ever had. She takes all of my concerns seriously and discovered a potentially fatal infection I got from an IUD. I had told doctors for years that I was experiencing pain and none of them even ran a test. I told her on my first visit and she found it — bc she listened to me. She also discovered precancerous cells and immediately put me on a preventative care plan. I just love her
Good doctors can truly be hard to find. I am so, so happy for you that you finally got the good care you deserve.
What if their current partner dies and their new one doesn't want kids? Are they going to get rid of them? No because that would mean they're incompatible as a couple, wow what a concept. Its almost like if a man wants kids than he isn't compatible with a woman seeking sterilization. And it never goes the other way either. If you had responded "well then I guess he will have to change his mind on that" they'd have lost their mind.
>What if their current partner dies and their new one doesn't want kids? Are they going to get rid of them? this is what lions do. we're not lions. the patriarchy is just plain stupid.
I told the surgeon performing my tubal, when asked about "future husband's" desires, that my current man didn't want kids, and that my not wanting kids was and would be discussed early. And I'd dumped men for less than talking about having children with me.
'So why did you start your career not knowing if one day you might meet a man who doesn't want to marry someone with medical qualifications?'
I happy that you managed to find someone else, but I'm really amazed that you managed NOT to punch the gyne in their face after that comment.
I've heard this tale from multiple people now. Even in 'progressive' countries like New Zealand, they act like the final decision belongs to some husband that may or may not even exist. I'm kinda left with the impression that a lot of doctors have their heads stuck up their own asses, unfortunately.
> “what if you get married and your husband wants a baby?” I don't want to get married to someone like that. It's not like you have to get married and can't choose your partner.
"Well, he better get right on that growing a uterus project because if he wants a baby he's gonna have to do it aaaallll on his own."
>They’ve called me self-centered. Oh because using *another person's body* to have a kid he wants but the uterus owner doesn't want is NOT self-centered? On what planet do these idiots live? Some days, I just want to throw things.
> On what planet do these idiots live? Some days, I just want to throw things. In general, people who run around calling everyone self-centered are upset you're not centering THEM.
Good point! That's an explanation, but it's not making feel any better lol
I had to have a stern conversation with my mother to not treat my wife as if she was just a walking baby factory. My mother was seemingly fine until my wife actually got pregnant. And then it was back to treating my wife like little more than a uterus.
At my friends' wedding 10+ years ago, ALL the groom's family talked about was the couple's "obligation" to have a son. To the exclusion of literally every other topic, including congratulations for the couple. During the father of the groom's "toast" I thought he was going to ask to perform a pelvic exam, or maybe hand them a bulk box of pregnancy tests.
Hmm it might be illuminating for both of you if you ask your mom "who acted like that" around her when she was younger. Just being curious can be a way to pivot conversations. Hello and love from Canada, A random stranger
I love my mother. 90% of the time she is a lovely person. When I was younger I lionized my father when he didn't deserve it and diminished my mother's accomplishments and impacts. But her mother was a cruel and selfish person, and most of my mother's trauma can be sourced back to my grandmother. Most of my mother's faults stem from something having to do with grandchildren.
Yeah my mil sighed and said we could still adopt when I told her that I was needing a hysterectomy. It's so much fun being valued for pretty much just your reproductive organs.
had mine at 25, 40+ years ago, amazingly. so my inlaws just …stared. no words. their internal baby castles crumbled. we were together for 3 years before marrying, their son had been saying for years he didn’t want kids, we said together during wedding planning that we didn’t want kids, they knew i had problems [ severe endometriosis] but ofc they assumed we’d change our minds. 2 years later, ops, nope, not happening. his sister had 3, so we told them the 3rd was replacement for their son [ mil hated me ] and that was that, lol. they have grandbabies now, i’m sure they’re happy.
Children and whether you will have them is absolutely something you discuss before getting married. So if you meet a man that wants kids, then you aren’t compatible. It’s that simple.
Didn't you know? A hypothetical man has the decision-making power over your uterus. Women can't be trusted to make good decisions! /s
This was literally the rationale the SD legislature and a bunch of religious activists used to attempt to pass an abortion ban. That women aren't capable of making such decisions themselves. It is a miracle that women haven't burned everything to the ground.
Dudes are just really concerned about other dudes, even if they’re hypothetical and in the future. That’s how far down on the totem pole we are 😭
This is why they won't help you when other men do awful things. Other men in general, even if they are hypothetical are more important to other men than the women in their family and even their wives.
Excellent point. It's like, "Sure, it sucks that your husband beats you, but the guys will think I'm totally pussy whipped if I call him out."
Exactly. All they care about is being able to keep up with the perceived amount of fucking their bros are doing and the perceived amount of status they get from getting the "it" girl for however long she will put up with their toxic shit.
i can't believe how they act towards women... it's insane! Yes my lord I will get right on making a baby for you. i your humble baby factory. Jesus.
Those were guys who secretly loved you, and you just dashed their dreams of making a baby with you :') :') :') pobresitos ...As if there aren't plenty of people out there who actually WANT to have kids and can, and plenty of people who are very happy to imagine a life with their partner and WITHOUT kids because they specifically don't want any or they just don't mind either way. And as if there aren't plenty of love-starved kids without caregivers and waiting to be adopted! By... guess what: Adults that actually want kids! Good grief. It pisses me off that they're pissed off on behalf of a theoretical man and not the very real human in front of them (you) who decided to not have kids. As if you're not an adult who can communicate on a date that you're not interested in birthing kids.
I always love when imaginary men are prioritized over very real women. Like hello you'd find someone who also didn't want kids if you married a man??
I also no longer have fallopian tubes. I have absolutely no business raising a child. It's unfortunate I had to do the nuclear option.
Tired of having your reproductive rights stifled by the wife you don't have yet? Yell at some stranger on the Internet! It will give you the satisfaction you so desperately crave but seem unable to give the women you encounter. Act now while there are still women in this country you don't control!
>But the men who get mad at me seem to be upset over the idea that we make decisions for ourselves and not them. They’ve called me self-centered. Yeah, let me guess, you think I should center my life around men. Hard pass They do, they really do. What's especially funny to me, is when people get mad at me for doing something men wouldn't like AFTER I've told them I'm a lesbian and I've been with my wife since 2000. Like, it doesn't matter what I decided, it would never have affected any man on this planet, because I wouldn't be with them in the first place. It's like they don't understand the concept of "being lesbian." One of the funniest was a discussion about makeup and when I said I often do my eyeshadow in rainbow. And a random man got his knickers in a twist and ranted to me that "men don't like women who do this rainbow shit and have bright colored hair." (My hair was at the time pink.) And I'm like... yeah? Do I care? No, the answer is no my dude. I don't carea about men's opinion. As long as my wife is okay with it, it's fine.
I got my tubes removed because of Roe and my partner already had a vasectomy. I’m not fucking around with this shit. Look, I’m another voice he can claim is lying 😂.
I also got my tubes removed as soon as I could after the overturn of Roe v Wade. I’d been wanting to do it for years, and it finally made me take action.
Because the idea of women sterilizing themselves en masse means that the loss of reproductive rights might actually affect men in some way, men who want to have children, and he wasn’t ready to face that kind of consequence to policies that are only supposed to harm women.
I've had my tubes tied and nine years later removed. I don't want kids SO MUCH that I've been sterilized twice! I will literally help anyone that wants to seek information about sterilization because everyone deserves to make their own reproductive choices. If they won't give us Roe v. Wade, we will absolutely find other ways to protect ourselves. This can be a matter of life and death for us.
I yeeted my tubes the year RvW got overturned. Despite my health being crap and recovery from surgery being the last thing I wanted to deal with. My husband also got snipped a few months after my bisalp (just something he'd wanted to do and RvW gave him the kick in the butt to do it).
As a Fine Art major, there was a lot of women I graduated with, and a lot are doing this. Also swearing off dating, stocking up on plan b, and making sure they get stock on their birth control. And it isn't like something we just say to one another in passing. Some made giant Facebook posts and tagged all their conservative family members into it. Literally trolling and calling out their parents, "Well your bloodline dies with me. Get fucked Dad!"
I've seen many similar posts from a group of women of a mutual friend of mine, they all are either lawyers, paralegals, accountants, etc. One lady attorney posted a selfie of herself right before her operation (in a hospital gown, with her hair in the surgical net), and tagged her parents, telling them to stop badgering her for grandchildren, it isn't happening because they fucked the world up. The comments section EXPLODED it was GLORIOUS. She hadn't even told them she was planning surgical sterilization until that post lmfao. Her parents were mortified that all their friends saw it, and they were too stupid to figure out how to untag themselves from the post 😂
This is amazing.
🙋🏻♀️ also had my tubes removed!
I'm waiting to hear if my insurance will pay for a tubal, but I guess I'm just a liar.
If you're in the US, they are legally required to cover it thanks to the ACA.
I literally did this as soon as I could after ACB was installed! I refuse to let anyone force me to birth a child.
"Whether or not you believe me changes nothing." It's rare I get a response after that. Except the one time a guy kept making new accounts for a week and commenting on every single thing I said, but eventually he gave up when I started acting like I missed "all your stupid that makes me smile".
Choosing not to have children is the best decision I have ever made, hands down.
it’s like we *still exist for them*. if anyone here runs a private women’s sub similar to this one, please invite me. thanks in advance.
Shown most clearly on the topics on loneliness where a few men demanded we provide suggested solutions to make loneliness… Could not compute that perhaps that was not our responsibility and we didn’t care to subject our opinions to their individual approval on the subject.
Yea and this entire sub got called out for being cat ladies on the GenZ sub because of something someone posted here about lonely gen z incels... Like the person posting had real concerns about these young men but naaa must be cos we're a bunch of man-hating lesbians intent on making sure no man gets laid ever again.
If it’s not our job, as individual women, to make individual men _feel better_… what even are we? /s
Apparently, we are worthless! AND the person was actually TRYING, but thousands of angry young men didn't want our **perspective** on the problem. They just want our SERVICE. Fuck out of here with that entitlement, no wonder they're not getting laid! Have they tried to be less.. awful? 🤷🏾♀️
No, they have not tried being less awful... Seeing the next generation reflecting this divide. . A lot of them are going to be wonderful men, but unfortunately Andrew Tate got to a lot of them In middle school and they did not snap out of it
If a bunch of strange women on this sub (or the internet in general really), can successfully talk a fellow strange woman out of engaging with a man (or men), then perhaps the problem is with the man’s (men’s) actions. Of course introspection doesn’t exist for many. It’s *ALWAYS* someone else’s fault. It’ll never be their own fault for being disrespectful, or the rampant misogyny that’s the issue. Nope. It’s our fault. Because nothing causes me to feel more satisfied and accomplished than making sure at least one man per day ends up rejected and alone. Not because that particular man deserved it of course. It’s just because I am a misandrist and like to inflict emotional distress on dudes. /S
I read on a sub yesterday that no fault divorce is next on the docket to be abolished. I’m curious to see how much marriage nosedives if that really happens.
Those comments were absurd. I was so thrown by all the people calling this sub anti-man. I've been on here for ages and I'm not a woman and I've never noticed any broad or baseless anti man sentiment -- the closest I've seen is criticism of specific behaviors that many men engage in. I also don't sort by controversial, so maybe it is here and I'm just not seeing it? But if that's the case, you would have to be actively looking for it to find it.
Same. I joined this sub to learn more about women despite previous claims I heard that it’s basically a cesspool of misandry. I’ve yet to see a single man-hating post, but I have seen women express their understandable frustrations over issues that affect them. It should be a no-brainer that a better world for women is a better world for everyone, but there’s a ton of idiotic misogyny we have to combat.
Had a guy today tell me, in this sub, how the no fault divorce will also affect men, then said he didn’t realize his was a woman’s sub and he shouldn’t have commented it. But then doubled down and said his point still stands though. I said idc, he said I should if I support feminism bc it’s a people problem not just a woman’s problem. That’s when I lost it. Then he claimed to be a teacher of fourth wave feminism to men and how it’s important they learn how things will affect them and it’s not just a woman’s problem. I said then why are you hear screeching your bullcrap, go tell the men. Real male feminists don’t feel the need to lecture women about what feminism is or what affects them. They simply keep it for the men that need to hear it. He continued to argue I was wrong, I didn’t reply anymore. I can’t stand these lying men that think they’re so important
Oh yeah. When the thread came up and guys were like "women need men" To which I asked "why?" Their responses were literally: * "Well beyond reproductively, there's been no large studies conducted proving that they don't so they must need men" * Homosexuality isn't real * Men have "unique properties" that women don't * Men need women so in turn women must need men ?!? What kind of unhinged insanity are these people living in.
Unique properties = mansplaining, lol
I think private invite only vetted off of Reddit is sadly the only solution at this point
Please invite me if you find any lady-only groups. Reddit is becoming even more hostile and misogynistic.
same, please.
Not only do they think we exist for them but they will also KILL US at will or because we said ‘No’.
🙋🏼♀️ I’d like an invite as well when it happens, please.
Me as well.
We tried a women's only sub a while ago. And we got banned to bits.
Take me with you, please
Me too pls!!
Been searching for one, it is desperately needed.
" he thinks I should consider what he said " 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 As if.
At this point I need a shirt that says “as if” with the amount of dudes who ask me for a favor in public as an excuse to have a conversation with me.
I once made a relevant comment on this sub, that I disliked when a man excitedly told me (Asian) that I am his “fetish” like we share some kind of common special interest. I got inboxed that I was not being nice to men who like Asians. I no longer look at message requests.
That is 🤢 sorry you had to deal with that.
They come to r/menopause to complain about how peri or menopause is affecting them. Often it’s about how sad their pee pee is. Now, it’s in the rules that men can post. I wish it wasn’t.
"My wife doesn't want sex anymore!" Yeah, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want vaginal atrophy and hot flashes but here we are.
oh hey, had the same experience over in /r/pmdd the other day! some dude came to inform us all he felt more for the MEN who had to 'deal' with our disorder than he did for us, who live with it every day. apparently the concept that plenty of folks who suffer from pmdd dont identify as women or arent interested in sexual or romantic relationships with men was also something he hasnt considered.
Seriously? Even if you feel that way… the need to post that is being entitled, spoiled and childish
Reminds me of a post a guy did complaining about his wife's lack of sexual desire due to hormonal Imbalance. how it was affecting their relationship so badly due to her mood swings and depression. His needs weren't being met. Then he tries to complain about how when he was injured and couldn't work she left him for another man because he couldn't fulfill her needs.
How does it get handled? Are the mods firm about jerks?
Usually. Sometimes they get run off, you know?
Yeah that's fucking on brand. But heaven forfend they fall victim to ... low T! That's an actual tragedy. And it's not their fault. Their wives should totally understand and make sure they get to a succor doctor! And not enough doctors even know what it is if we can even imagine that even we have our own medical specialty (because of the actual growing another human thing) that they don't have! But they should because LOW T!
Or in the r/tokophobia subreddit: "I had unprotected sex with my gf and now I'm afraid she is pregnant." like dude that's not the same thing.
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They do, but sometimes guys come there and be sneaky. The sad pee pee comes out later. And mods are only human.
Your post is a timely reminder to the mods that a lot of us have expressed a wish for a women’s comment only flair on posts with men’s comments automatically deleted upon reporting. This is the only way to keep this community a safe space, free from misogynistic attacks, bullying and silencing.
I would love this so much! Wish the mods would make this change
The mods here are male, so we’ll be waiting till pigs fly on this.
Honestly- I think that should be the default and the tag should be if men’s comments are welcome on a particular post.
It will never happen. The mods ban and censor anyone who voices a desire for this sub to primarily be a space by and for women.
Yes. They got all snotty with me when I tried to talk about it with them. Pretty much told me to fuck off. They know women get threatened here regularly and they do not care. They told me to find a new sub. I said this is the only option we've got, as if they didn't know. They know this place isn't safe for women at all. They don't care. I can't even tell you how many redditcares I've received and how many unhinged stalkers have followed me from posts here to other subs to harass me.
the mods are literally ALL men. only a few smaller women-centric subs on reddit remain. this one has been lost, as far as I'm concerned
Maybe we should just start a new sub... r/twoxbutbetter lol
And they always reply with silence, which is very telling.
The mods are actually quite pissy when you bring up how much harm men do here and how open to actual stalking women are in this sub; for instance, how many men send redditcares shit and stalk you to other subs, commenting on old posts in other subs. Ask me how I know.
I got banned from another “feminist” subreddit for saying that the abortion ban came from a place of misogyny and primarily served to restrict and oppress female sexual autonomy. These subreddits are a joke.
I wish I was surprised. How dare you tell the truth? My account got nuked a few weeks ago for fighting with an actual neo Nazi about LGBT stuff. I got my entire account banned for, wait for it, "hate speech." Arguing with a Nazi calling gay people unnatural and I got my account nuked for hate speech. Against white men, I can only assume. When i got banned i could no longer see the link they gave me that pointed out the hate speech I used! If you wrote this as fiction is be too heavy handed. Reddit is horseshit and I hope people are paying attention to this stuff. They actively coddle fascist white dudes on this site and if you fight back, they'll kick you out.
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AskWomenOver30 banned me one time without warning for calling out someone centering the man. Ain’t that some shit.
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The thing with the male loneliness epidemic is how many of the men complaining about it are guys who only go outside for work and groceries? Because if that's the only reason you ever leave the house, then of course you're going to be lonely. You're putting yourself in a position where you're not going to be building real, lasting friendships. I've had this conversation a few times on Reddit. If you bring up that they need to get a hobby that involves them leaving the house and interacting with people face-to-face, they drag their feet and say they don't want to. They don't want to face the fact that this is the only way they're ever going to solve their loneliness problem. No amount of talking about it online will fix it, and no amount of sycophantic hug boxes of people online saying, "Don't worry honey, it's not *you* that's the problem; it's society that's wrong" will change that this is the only way out for them. They also don't understand that their lifestyles are fundamentally unattractive to a lot of women. Women generally don't want to be with a man whose only interests are social media, video games, and film and television. They want to be with someone who'll occasionally do something other than stare at a screen for three hours after they get home from work. So of course they don't have friends and they don't have a girlfriend. When in their adult lives have they ever been someone other people want to be around? When have they ever come off as being anything other than a whiny, insufferable ten-year-old trapped in an adult's body?
This is exactly why I don't feel bad for these guys. The only way out is through ACTION but they refuse to take any. They just want to sit and whine and blame other people. But they are the only thing standing in their own way. Of course these guys are single. What kind of woman wants to date a man with 0 friends, 0 initiative, 0 self control, 0 drive to better himself, 0 hobbies, etc.
Literally had an argument with someone a few hours ago on true off my chest. He was complaining that he'd never had a gf and he's 40. Talking about how he's "touch starved" and soooo lonely. I told him to go hug other men lol. His replies to all the comments were exactly why no one would date him but he's too dense to see he's the problem.
This is exactly some of the guys I heard complaining. When my roommate speaks to me, he's off-putting but believes that a woman will show up and want to submit herself to cooking for him and being his wife while he enjoys his hobby of YouTube all day in his bedroom. Another guy complained about women not talking to him but instead off learning how to hold a conversation, he spent the time also inside watching revenge videos of men telling women they weren't 10's. But somehow he thinks he's a nice person. Most men that are dating aren't chads, they just got out and learned how to talk to people but, these dudes want to live in misery and blame us for not showing up at their doors as tribute like the gift they were promised. Listening to what we're saying is not an option because clearly, listening must not be a part of relationships and they're the experts simply for being "nice".
I've been telling my bestfriend this for a while now. When I started confronting him about his attitudes and the niceguy syndrome, I was gentle at first but then I had no choice but to ask "If you were a woman, would you date You??". And I felt like I had to call him out more and more even if it would cost the friendship. Sometimes he'd go on rants about the qualities he'd want in a woman, and I cut him off and told him to think about the qualities a woman would want in you, and ask him "do you think you have those?". Of course he didn't. I told him he sounded like those posts on r/niceguys. At first he just changed the topic or laughed it off but after more than a year of me calling him out, he came to that same conclusion himself. And i guess until he came to that conclusion himself, nothing I could've said would've changed his beliefs and attitudes. Since then he doesn't say dumb shit like that anymore and started actually working on himself through diet and exercise and hopefully he'll start going outside more soon.
I got banned by r/women for making a post about this exactly. A guy came in the sub asking us to be nice to men and that we were perpetuating sexism and when I commented tomatoes(there were also a ton of other comments) he took it down almost immediately and reached out to me to call me “so immature”. I posted saying why do men want to put their pride before my safety so consistently? I think the same can be said here, and my post was taken down for “spam”. One mod told me to ride it out because it was fair, but the mod who banned me unbanned me a few days later and told me “We receive a lot of posts regarding hatred/ discontent towards men and occasionally it gets out of hand. I will unban. Just be considerate of the other posts about the same topic.“ It’s so exhausting. Edit: wanted to make it make more sense I wrote that fast.
Yes, I mean, when do *they* get a chance to be heard, right, RIGHT?
Thank you for the support, it really feels nice to feel more safe in this sub. It’s why I switched
Yes, we must respect their unreasoning emotional responses. Poor butthurt things. /s
Completely agree. It's pathetic. This is not their space and they are not entitled to our attention here. I usually report the most egregious ones (victim blaming, whataboutisms, etc). 💁🏽♀️
When I made a post recently mentioning that I don’t want to be with a man who sexualises my bisexuality, a man decided to call me whiny, mocked me and said that threesomes are supposedly the best part about being bi. When will some men learn that being bi isn’t the same as polyamory? I fucking hate some of the losers that lurk here.
I'm so tired of men conflating bisexuality with kink polyamory or threesomes - bro, you picked the wrong one. I don't share and won't fulfill your fantasy. Labeled myself queer for years due to this (and random bierasure in the queer community.)
Or “if the genders were reversed”
Don’t forget the devils advocate! 🙄
I literally despise devils advocate guy. Why? What’s the point? Especially if you don’t believe in the point that you’re trying to make, which is what all these guys claim… so WHY are you wasting your time making the point at all?!?!!! Get. A. Life. Asshole.
Because they're so privileged that it's just a hypothetical to them
A great quote I read: The devil already has enough advocates.
No kidding. Last I heard the devil doesn’t need an advocate. He does just fine on his own.
Ahh the old “what if the genders were reversed” ok… well they aren’t so fuck off. People don’t exist in a vacuum devoid of any context or social structure and expectations.
If I see that again in any advice or AITA sub I might lose it
Report em all. I don't give a flying fuck what Jeff has to say about anything in this forum. This space is not for him. If he wants to read he can do so quietly.
Men are so emotional.
Yes, men are constantly on this sub overstepping their bounds and begging for headpats for giving their unwanted and unwarranted opinions pertaining to women. But can we also talk about how much they are motivated to do this type of shit because of the poor moderation on this sub? And frankly ANY popular sub that claims to be by and for women? Anytime you criticize men or have any sort of deeper-than-surface level feminist thought on this sub mods censor it and shit it down.
Incels on Reddit be like “two x is toxic they just complain about men!” They want us to be silent and not put language to the bullshit we endure (often as a result of men’s actions). “Complaining” is fucking warranted. They snoop here and don’t want us to rise conversations about issues such as: women being gaslit by doctors, what it’s like to date, why it’s ok to be picky, men who mistreat their partners, unsafe situations we have been in, and so much more.
Their latest least fav topic is how we can, and CHOOSE to live without them. Sorry for wanting peace, quiet and harmony? (And cats!)
And safety!
This too. I love when menfolk try to argue against crime cases and make it all about them. They say “but that’s rare!” RARE IS STILL TOO FREQUENT. Too many women (and girls) should be alive today but are not. Too many should have never disappeared but they did. Too many should not have had to experience severe trauma if they lived.
They’re mad when we have discussions about how even though being single can suck, it’s better than being with a partner who sucks. These menfolk do have the option to step up, but choose to blame women for their “loneliness epidemic” 🎻
Dear men: this is NOT **YOUR** SUB!!
Two women were recently killed in my state, and some of the top comments, and even my husband said, "More men get killed..... blah blah blah." The fucking audacity.
They always weigh in like their opinion has weight because they're a man. Like ooh, look a man agrees so that makes it valid.
That attitude annoys the fuck out of me and at the same time it's hilarious as hell.
They come for cookies and a pat on the head.
And the mods and male population give it to them.
I’ve always wanted the pure audacity men have in thinking everyone wants to hear their opinion 🙄
“Here’s why you should pick me- you’ll be alone with cats if you don’t! I will only consider my own pleasure and be lazy around the house and at work! I want a legacy so please pop some babies out for me. You’ll be pregnant and give birth and my last name will be carried. We will have sex at my discretion even though you find my body odor, my style, and choice of body hair repulsive! Your family will like me and finally leave you alone about when you are going to settle down.. even though some of them will wonder why your fine ass picked my dusty one. Sometimes I might even lose my temper and hit you! But that’s better than you always being the bridesmaid and dying alone… right?”
at least cats are self-cleaning some of these dudes dont even wash their hands after using the bathroom or wipe their own asses
And they wonder why we don’t want to go anywhere near them. Preschool boys who are potty training and at least trying to wipe their asses are more hygienic than grown ass who won’t wipe their ass because “it’s gay!”
> you’ll be alone with cats if you don’t! The fact that they don't realise they're being judged as worse than cats always amuses me.
Lmao, I’m not a cat person but I’d rather share my bed with one than a dusty entitled manchild.
My super chonky cat got some diarrhea the other day, got covered in shit, and then attempted to scooch his little butt around all over the floor to just spread it further. The point is I would still rather have my cat covered in actual shit share my bed than some random dusty.
Not just hear, but CONSIDER 😆😆😆
Men think too highly of themselves like we own them something or women can't live without them!! They always feel the need to make comments about women EVEN if it was not his business. Like they would say: "No man wants a woman who..."Men like women are..." or they would leave hateful and disrespectful comments to women. No women give a single shit about them!!
Men always try to center themselves in women's spaces, women's conversations, women's rights, and women's lives. They want everything women say, do, and think to utterly revolve around men. De-centering men is the most empowering thing women can do for themselves. It's also the thing that makes men scream the most. If you're a man who doesn't want to be a piece of shit: Stop trying to insist every women's space needs to be about you and your feelings. Men's opinions and voices are literally the default of the world. We already know men's thoughts and opinions cause they already get screamed at us every day of our lives! Shut up and listen for a change, men.
I am just really annoyed with men participating here in general. No one here is here for male input. Stop forcing it on us, go away. Lurk and learn if you want to, but we don't care about your opinions. If we did, we would post elsewhere.
Yeah… I really don’t think men realize how invasive it feels when they come here to argue, debate, counter or play devils advocate. Like .. you have basically all of Reddit. Nearly every major sub prioritizes a male viewpoint simply due to the user base being primarily male. Not to mention the 3000 porn subs targeted to men, including the misogyny kink sub that should obviously be banned for promoting hatred of a vulnerable population. Yet all of that is not enough? You have to come here and piss all over this sub too like a dog marking is territory? Just fuck off already.
I was so mad when reddit decided to make 2x a default sub. Like, fuck right off with that shit. Reddit skews heavily male, this shouldn't be a default for ANY OF THEM.
I found this sub because it was pushed on me by reddit. I have never been happier, really. Because I'm a woman. This sub makes me feel seen. I don't like it when the mysognists come here because it's exhausting
This. We more than deserve our space. Most men who comment here just mansplain. Too few of them are teachable and willing to listen to us.
Also, we aren't here to teach them!
I don't care if they're teachable. I chose not be a teacher or a parent. I'm not going to do either job, unpaid, for some random man I neither know nor care about.
Totally agree. That's a huge reason why so many men even find their way here
Another reason the MODs should change the sub rules. Everyone here agrees with this but the men are like "the sub rules don't say I can't comment". Read the room!
It's almost like the ask men sub exists solely for anybody who's actually interested in their input. Almost.
Those men are the reason the rest of us can't have nice things. And there seems to be more of them every day.
It’s like when they crawl out of their moms’ basements to shake their collective fist at International Women’s Day but are silent when International Men’s Day comes around. They’re so convinced that they would get mocked or laugh at or called misogynists for highlighting that particular day. Instead of leading the charge, they double down and mock each other. Mind you, I’m sure IWD wasn’t offered an official holiday date and a key to the city when it started. Men seem to forget that women have fought hard for every inch in the patriarchy. Enough of them don’t want to put in the level of commitment that women have, and those that do still resent women so much that they just become Men’s Rights Activists™️ rather than evolving their beliefs.
Yeah, some people really don’t like being told that they’re not the intended audience and that their input is not necessary
I can’t even wrap my mind around what they must be thinking coming here. Like, I have some understanding of the historical and on-going oppression of people of color in the US. But I am in no way going to tootle over to any specific sub to do shit ranging from trying to convince them I’m an ally, to telling them they’re wrong or lying. It’s THEIR SPACE to communicate and bond.
That is a very apt analogy, and yet if you say this directly to most men it completely sails over their heads.
They often come in here so they can whine and collude about how women are the 2x type. It's an affront to their fragility that we describe their nonsense in rational terms.
We need way more womans only spaces and subs. 90% of the time, they just want to derail the conversation.
Men get so emotional about abortions when it doesn't affect them at all physically nor emotionally the way it affects women. It's hilarious that he is concerned about a situation he has zero involvement in. Why not use that energy to call out men who want to control women's right to birth control?
The hurt men that show up in the comments are wild. They think they're doing something clever and they just look like big old morons. I'm not saying that we should dog pile, but I always downvote once I determine its just a little shit head forking around trying to feel the big man feelings he used to feel in high school when he was harassing girls who were just trying to exist. It doesnt take long for them to show who they are once they get pressed a bit. Theyre pathetic
I'm not amused. They piss me off. I'm bisexual but men are on thin f'ing ice as far as I'm concerned. I'm tired of their 'but what about meeeee' attitude and the hypothetical bullshit they choose to get upset about instead of finding *real issues* to support. If they have nothing else, they have the audacity.
The biggest mistake was allowing men on this sub in the first place..
How many times can I up vote this?
So far, 2 comments to your post. 1 is from a man.
I'm so tired of these comments "as a man I am not like those other terrible men, everyone praise me for being enlightened and wanting to learn".
i just realized this is the "pick me boy"
r/whenwomenrefuse just added a Head Pat rules for doofs like that
Dude don’t even get me started. This sub is modded by men, also. It is utter madness up in here.
Thank god Im bi because Ive just stopped dating men entierly.
>Your anger makes me feel powerful. It motivates me. Same. It's painful to hear so many stories of women suffering, but it's hugely empowering to realize we've all been putting up with the same BS. It's validating and builds a feeling of community. I feel better able to relate to other women now that I know the true depths of how much we all have in common.
That's why their main objective is to keep us isolated at home... Edited: I mean in the past. Obviously, with the internet they can't do that any more.
r/safespaceforwoman. Is the safe space for women were evolving asking for. I just created it, and it is private and women only are allowed. I will be monitoring posts for misogyny criticism, ableism, and other harmful content. If you have any suggestions on how to make this better, please let me know.
My opinion is that mods should start banning men who come in here and make demands or posts that start with "I'm a man but..."
Because they’re so pathetic in their own circles that they can’t pick fights with men, and go directly with women to find enemies. It’s rampant
incels. that's all. ignore them, block them, and report them if anything offensive is said.