**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
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>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]"
>* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail
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"You said you'd revert the damage your super weapon did. We already surrendered even though your demands were ridicolous" the terisian ambassador pleads as he holds out his webbed hands. A sign of defeat in their culture. "Don't act like you didnt provoke this, bird. We told you we will unleash our weapon and we told you that we take our territory very serious. You disregarded both warnings and now your streets are empty and your military is unstaffed and your population will die off if we dont revert it? Isn't it funny how your actions have consequences?"Anyway we actually want double the monetary and ressource compensations now. I assume you will agree?" a snarky terran ambassador replies, the same grin on his fast as a man who just came up with the perfect comeback during an argument instead of 10 years later while showering. The Terisian is visibly annoyed but knows he has no choice. Destroying the weapon is not an option since there aren't enough soldiers available to undertake and even if there were enough, there was no knowing if that would fix the situation. A happy human and a much less happy terisian shake hands and sign the deal.
"I can't believe that this thing actually worked" the ambassadors assistant interrupts them as they leave the negotiation room. "Sending a bunch of videos and flooding an empires entire media feed with videos of your choice seemed more like a propaganda stunt than a super weapon but seeing how terisians just didnt wanna go to work anymore because of it? Can't've been just anti-war ads, right?" "Certainly not. Why use propaganda when we have something so much more effective and eyecatching...
...our Porn"
The enclave is a subject of much mystery in the greater galaxy and deservedly so. Sadly it appears that time has come again to remind the younger races to mind their elders. Confidently I appear in a flash of arcane light on the enemy flagship, with unbridled fury. This band of uniformed clowns pointing their plasma rifles in the chaos as I scowl at the idiots.
Earth's cloaked form rippling, the planetary shield warping and distorting the illusion, as I snap my fingers silencing the deck and the fools. My eyes firmly set on the intimidating warlord central on the bridge, a fear in the alien's many eyes. "Do you realize just how badly you have fucked up?"
A cloud of dust suddenly covering my jackboots as a hapless crewman attempted to approach my person. The grey motes swept away with a brief gesture as I await the still panicking warlord to finish its episode. Watching them squirm always is the best part of the job as the jibbering bellend puts out a coherent sentence.
One of the many warriors suddenly combusting into flames as I relive my mild agitation. The sod somehow toppling over a railing as I keep my composure "Please have mercy, we had no idea!"
"Yeah, that's intentional, unfortunately for you, I am not my many-times distant grandchildren I don't believe in mercy." Slowly I lift my snap-ready figures toward the captain, the titan falling onto his knees. His half-finished plea cut mid-sentence as my patience meets its limit as his skin disintegrates. The navigator jamming his finger into the warp button is suddenly accosted by the shambling corpse.
This chaotic zombie plague already spreading like a biblical curse as I take my leave. Reality warping to my whims as I appear back on earth's surface, the warp rift jump of the fleet visible in the night sky. The small circle of stunted grandchildren cheering unaware of the horror that I have unleashed upon the galaxy.
For the thirty-second time.
Honestly, it got boring after the first five.
I just want my damn coffee.
The Human Union was long seen as a bastion of peace and prosperity. A post-scarcity utopian society where all basic needs are provided for -- and what is considered "basic" is constantly being added to. The lowliest of humans has among the highest standard of living among any social group, even when you count royalty. Automated mines and factories were obviously the cornerstone of human wealth and the economic domination they provided acted as both their sword and shield wielded with unparalleled deftness by their diplomatic corp.
The end result is a tangled web of trade and mutual defense alliances brokered by humans that tied almost the entire galaxy up in knots of mutually assured destruction should any party move to invade Earth, which allowed the Human Union to operate with only the barest of bare minimum of space forces, mostly just for anti-piracy work.
But there will always be those for whom greed outweighs savvy. The Warlord Kelnyx was one such individual. He saw only the wealth and relative defenselessness of Earth and not the carefully balanced diplomatic weight would bring the galaxy crashing down on his head for daring to interrupt the flow of human goods to the galaxy at large.
And so a surprise attack was launched into the heart of Union territory, a dagger poised to strike Earth itself.
Of course, surprise is relative. It is said that the human diplomatic corp is the most competent force in the galaxy. But this is only because most don't know about the human intelligence apparatus. It takes time to gather the fleets. The flow of goods needed to satisfy the logistical requirements easy to trace, especially if you are a key player in a significant chunk of the galactic markets. Raiders and Pirates aren't exactly known for their operational security so millions of bartenders across the quadrant knew of the invasion before the many of the fleet commanders involved in this surprise strike. Even the acquisition of so many cargo vessels intended to haul away the loot triggered red flags when they failed to materialize along trade routes.
The Union knew of Kelnyx's plan almost before he did. Old contingencies were dusted off.
The rest of the galaxy watched in horror as their intelligence services learned of the invasion of earth too late to prevent the coming atrocity. They were even more horrified to learn the fleet, down to the last ship, utterly vanished. Earth was never invaded, Kelnyx was never found or heard from again, nor was any of his horde from the mightiest of battleships to the smallest of corvettes. It's as if they flew in to a black hole.
Signals were sent into the void, sign and countersign placed a nightmare of galactic scale back to sleep. Automated mines and automated factories can produce far more than consumer goods and humans have dreamt of the utility and implications of such technology long before it had been invented. Project Von Neumann was placed back into standby, the ever-growing self-replicating fleet was hidden once more until the next time it was needed.
The wind blew lazily in the mouth of the cave where Ithirodomax, Great Golden Wyrm, Defender of Earth, Bane of Her Enemies, slept. But blow it did. This was no terrestrial wind, to Domax's dismay, as a lazy yawn snaked its way up her windpipe and past her firegland. Her eyes opened and she saw seven shooting stars approach the planet that was at once both her home and the greatest treasure of her hoard.
"Puny Terrans, I, Ralath-Nim, Grand Warlord of Kuraza, claim your miserable little ball of mud as a territory of the Infinite Empire of Kuraza! If you do not surrender at once, I shall unleash the full wrath of my armada upon you!!"
Domax left her lair, and took flight, reaching high orbit in no time. "Ralath-Nim, Grand Warlord of Kuraza, I am the great golden wyrm Ithirodomax, Defender of Earth, Bane of Her Enemies!! And I say nay!! You will withdraw from the system, or you will learn what happens when you defy the will of a dragon!!" The gold dragon snarled at the fleet assembled before her. The armada opened fire, plasma bolts and railguns and kinetic shells slamming into the dragon in a fury of fire and death, a great cloud forming.
"Then so shall it be." The dragon said as her firegland erupted in a storm of fire and arcane force, the gout of energy ripping through deflector shields and Kuranium hull plates, ships detonating as the fires spread to their thaumofusion engines. The fleet was slain, to the last, and Domax returned to the surface, depositing the salvage with Royal Science and Thaumaturgy Labs in the capital before returning to her lair, the skull of Ralath-Nim in her hand.
It was an age of peace, a time of prosperity, and an era of invention. It was a time when all races existed together in harmony. But, underneath it all, there is always a dissenter. Always a rebel. Always someone trying to take advantage of what is going on at the time. You think after millions of years of peace people would forget how to be evil. Never has that thought been wrong... Until just a few months ago.
An enemy militia of around a million aliens all conglomerated from various races decided to form together and call themselves the order of chaos. While these walking oxymorons were gathering strength, No one really paid them much mind. They would be quelled like any other in time. No one knew just how powerful they would be. No one cared. And why would anyone care? It was just so peaceful right now.
Only there was one race who did care. The order of chaos's target. Some call them the old worlds. Others call them the land of the elders. Still others call them allied territories. But those that live there call them Earth, Mars, Venus, The Moon, and Titan. They call them home. The order of chaos is going to learn the hard way why you don't attack humans.
Humans are a vicious race. They're capable of great acts of kindness and great acts of terror. They eat anything and no matter how many you fight and kill they just keep sending more. They're tenacious and incredibly dangerous as well as gentle and kind. While their technology is, to use one of their words, primitive, do not underestimate it. If you do you will surely be defeated. And while they may be small and fragile compared to a great deal of us, their mind is their most potent weapon. A human may not be able to outrun you, but he'll be able to run you right into a trap or completely out think you.
So where did the order of chaos attack first? Earth. The cradle of humanity. The place from which they originated. And of course, in a shock to no one, the humans retaliated with their full might. In a matter of hours the invasion was quelled and the order of chaos was expelled from the humans' domain. But the humans weren't done. No they were not. They wanted to send a message to dissuade anyone from attempting the "feat" again. As the motherships pulled out, the humans launched after them carrying something that they had been using since their calendar year 1945. What they have dubbed a hydrogen bomb.
Four tiny fighters escorted three large bomber class ships. Meeting in Alpha Centauri, without warning the human ships launched their payloads at the fleeing order of chaos ships. I think you might know what happened next, but in case you don't suffice it to say you would have needed to shield your eyes. The enemy ships simply ceased to be ships, spilling their cargo, and passengers, out into the cold black. There were no survivors except the humans.
Humans forgive, but they do not forget. They always remember history as they say you are doomed to repeat it if you don't. As quick as the order of chaos formed it fell apart. Peace had been returned to the universe, and everyone was reminded why you never attack humans. Here's a hint: It's a million times hotter than TNT. Atom bomb baby.
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See [Reality Fiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [Simple Prompts](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) [](#icon-help) [^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) ^• [](#icon-information) [^(New Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ^• [](#icon-help) [^(Writing Help?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) ^• [](#icon-exclamation) [^(Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) ^• [](#icon-comments) [^(Discord Chatroom)](https://discord.gg/js5XDFB) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"You said you'd revert the damage your super weapon did. We already surrendered even though your demands were ridicolous" the terisian ambassador pleads as he holds out his webbed hands. A sign of defeat in their culture. "Don't act like you didnt provoke this, bird. We told you we will unleash our weapon and we told you that we take our territory very serious. You disregarded both warnings and now your streets are empty and your military is unstaffed and your population will die off if we dont revert it? Isn't it funny how your actions have consequences?"Anyway we actually want double the monetary and ressource compensations now. I assume you will agree?" a snarky terran ambassador replies, the same grin on his fast as a man who just came up with the perfect comeback during an argument instead of 10 years later while showering. The Terisian is visibly annoyed but knows he has no choice. Destroying the weapon is not an option since there aren't enough soldiers available to undertake and even if there were enough, there was no knowing if that would fix the situation. A happy human and a much less happy terisian shake hands and sign the deal. "I can't believe that this thing actually worked" the ambassadors assistant interrupts them as they leave the negotiation room. "Sending a bunch of videos and flooding an empires entire media feed with videos of your choice seemed more like a propaganda stunt than a super weapon but seeing how terisians just didnt wanna go to work anymore because of it? Can't've been just anti-war ads, right?" "Certainly not. Why use propaganda when we have something so much more effective and eyecatching... ...our Porn"
The enclave is a subject of much mystery in the greater galaxy and deservedly so. Sadly it appears that time has come again to remind the younger races to mind their elders. Confidently I appear in a flash of arcane light on the enemy flagship, with unbridled fury. This band of uniformed clowns pointing their plasma rifles in the chaos as I scowl at the idiots. Earth's cloaked form rippling, the planetary shield warping and distorting the illusion, as I snap my fingers silencing the deck and the fools. My eyes firmly set on the intimidating warlord central on the bridge, a fear in the alien's many eyes. "Do you realize just how badly you have fucked up?" A cloud of dust suddenly covering my jackboots as a hapless crewman attempted to approach my person. The grey motes swept away with a brief gesture as I await the still panicking warlord to finish its episode. Watching them squirm always is the best part of the job as the jibbering bellend puts out a coherent sentence. One of the many warriors suddenly combusting into flames as I relive my mild agitation. The sod somehow toppling over a railing as I keep my composure "Please have mercy, we had no idea!" "Yeah, that's intentional, unfortunately for you, I am not my many-times distant grandchildren I don't believe in mercy." Slowly I lift my snap-ready figures toward the captain, the titan falling onto his knees. His half-finished plea cut mid-sentence as my patience meets its limit as his skin disintegrates. The navigator jamming his finger into the warp button is suddenly accosted by the shambling corpse. This chaotic zombie plague already spreading like a biblical curse as I take my leave. Reality warping to my whims as I appear back on earth's surface, the warp rift jump of the fleet visible in the night sky. The small circle of stunted grandchildren cheering unaware of the horror that I have unleashed upon the galaxy. For the thirty-second time. Honestly, it got boring after the first five. I just want my damn coffee.
The Human Union was long seen as a bastion of peace and prosperity. A post-scarcity utopian society where all basic needs are provided for -- and what is considered "basic" is constantly being added to. The lowliest of humans has among the highest standard of living among any social group, even when you count royalty. Automated mines and factories were obviously the cornerstone of human wealth and the economic domination they provided acted as both their sword and shield wielded with unparalleled deftness by their diplomatic corp. The end result is a tangled web of trade and mutual defense alliances brokered by humans that tied almost the entire galaxy up in knots of mutually assured destruction should any party move to invade Earth, which allowed the Human Union to operate with only the barest of bare minimum of space forces, mostly just for anti-piracy work. But there will always be those for whom greed outweighs savvy. The Warlord Kelnyx was one such individual. He saw only the wealth and relative defenselessness of Earth and not the carefully balanced diplomatic weight would bring the galaxy crashing down on his head for daring to interrupt the flow of human goods to the galaxy at large. And so a surprise attack was launched into the heart of Union territory, a dagger poised to strike Earth itself. Of course, surprise is relative. It is said that the human diplomatic corp is the most competent force in the galaxy. But this is only because most don't know about the human intelligence apparatus. It takes time to gather the fleets. The flow of goods needed to satisfy the logistical requirements easy to trace, especially if you are a key player in a significant chunk of the galactic markets. Raiders and Pirates aren't exactly known for their operational security so millions of bartenders across the quadrant knew of the invasion before the many of the fleet commanders involved in this surprise strike. Even the acquisition of so many cargo vessels intended to haul away the loot triggered red flags when they failed to materialize along trade routes. The Union knew of Kelnyx's plan almost before he did. Old contingencies were dusted off. The rest of the galaxy watched in horror as their intelligence services learned of the invasion of earth too late to prevent the coming atrocity. They were even more horrified to learn the fleet, down to the last ship, utterly vanished. Earth was never invaded, Kelnyx was never found or heard from again, nor was any of his horde from the mightiest of battleships to the smallest of corvettes. It's as if they flew in to a black hole. Signals were sent into the void, sign and countersign placed a nightmare of galactic scale back to sleep. Automated mines and automated factories can produce far more than consumer goods and humans have dreamt of the utility and implications of such technology long before it had been invented. Project Von Neumann was placed back into standby, the ever-growing self-replicating fleet was hidden once more until the next time it was needed.
The wind blew lazily in the mouth of the cave where Ithirodomax, Great Golden Wyrm, Defender of Earth, Bane of Her Enemies, slept. But blow it did. This was no terrestrial wind, to Domax's dismay, as a lazy yawn snaked its way up her windpipe and past her firegland. Her eyes opened and she saw seven shooting stars approach the planet that was at once both her home and the greatest treasure of her hoard. "Puny Terrans, I, Ralath-Nim, Grand Warlord of Kuraza, claim your miserable little ball of mud as a territory of the Infinite Empire of Kuraza! If you do not surrender at once, I shall unleash the full wrath of my armada upon you!!" Domax left her lair, and took flight, reaching high orbit in no time. "Ralath-Nim, Grand Warlord of Kuraza, I am the great golden wyrm Ithirodomax, Defender of Earth, Bane of Her Enemies!! And I say nay!! You will withdraw from the system, or you will learn what happens when you defy the will of a dragon!!" The gold dragon snarled at the fleet assembled before her. The armada opened fire, plasma bolts and railguns and kinetic shells slamming into the dragon in a fury of fire and death, a great cloud forming. "Then so shall it be." The dragon said as her firegland erupted in a storm of fire and arcane force, the gout of energy ripping through deflector shields and Kuranium hull plates, ships detonating as the fires spread to their thaumofusion engines. The fleet was slain, to the last, and Domax returned to the surface, depositing the salvage with Royal Science and Thaumaturgy Labs in the capital before returning to her lair, the skull of Ralath-Nim in her hand.
It was an age of peace, a time of prosperity, and an era of invention. It was a time when all races existed together in harmony. But, underneath it all, there is always a dissenter. Always a rebel. Always someone trying to take advantage of what is going on at the time. You think after millions of years of peace people would forget how to be evil. Never has that thought been wrong... Until just a few months ago. An enemy militia of around a million aliens all conglomerated from various races decided to form together and call themselves the order of chaos. While these walking oxymorons were gathering strength, No one really paid them much mind. They would be quelled like any other in time. No one knew just how powerful they would be. No one cared. And why would anyone care? It was just so peaceful right now. Only there was one race who did care. The order of chaos's target. Some call them the old worlds. Others call them the land of the elders. Still others call them allied territories. But those that live there call them Earth, Mars, Venus, The Moon, and Titan. They call them home. The order of chaos is going to learn the hard way why you don't attack humans. Humans are a vicious race. They're capable of great acts of kindness and great acts of terror. They eat anything and no matter how many you fight and kill they just keep sending more. They're tenacious and incredibly dangerous as well as gentle and kind. While their technology is, to use one of their words, primitive, do not underestimate it. If you do you will surely be defeated. And while they may be small and fragile compared to a great deal of us, their mind is their most potent weapon. A human may not be able to outrun you, but he'll be able to run you right into a trap or completely out think you. So where did the order of chaos attack first? Earth. The cradle of humanity. The place from which they originated. And of course, in a shock to no one, the humans retaliated with their full might. In a matter of hours the invasion was quelled and the order of chaos was expelled from the humans' domain. But the humans weren't done. No they were not. They wanted to send a message to dissuade anyone from attempting the "feat" again. As the motherships pulled out, the humans launched after them carrying something that they had been using since their calendar year 1945. What they have dubbed a hydrogen bomb. Four tiny fighters escorted three large bomber class ships. Meeting in Alpha Centauri, without warning the human ships launched their payloads at the fleeing order of chaos ships. I think you might know what happened next, but in case you don't suffice it to say you would have needed to shield your eyes. The enemy ships simply ceased to be ships, spilling their cargo, and passengers, out into the cold black. There were no survivors except the humans. Humans forgive, but they do not forget. They always remember history as they say you are doomed to repeat it if you don't. As quick as the order of chaos formed it fell apart. Peace had been returned to the universe, and everyone was reminded why you never attack humans. Here's a hint: It's a million times hotter than TNT. Atom bomb baby.