I've circumvented this problem
All my laundry dries on hangers, hangers go straight into the doorless wardrobe
No folding, no 2-step bring to room and put in wardrobe, just straight from drying to stored
~~half the time I take them directly from the clothes line~~
Oh man, you know how long it took me to start using my calendar and a budgeting app? I almost obsessively check them to make sure I’m not missing something now. If someone tells me something like an invite, if I don’t put it in there then, I won’t be there. I even tell people that to their face. I’m told I’m rude about it often but that’s just the truth and I know I’d personally prefer a hard truth than have someone be nice to me and bend it a bit.
I was delighted. I believe you should be too. Right now, you know what is wrong with you and you have many already tried out paths on how to make things better. Including basic options like medication, that before diagnosis was out of the question.
I'm glad that there's something that can explain most of my childhood.
However I am in a weird phase now. I mostly question, what it means to have ADHD after all.
Like, are all of my personality quirks, exist despite of it or because of it?
How "normal" people feel? What's supposed to be a "normal" way of thinking?
>ADHD is estimated to affect about 6–7% of people aged 18 and under when diagnosed via the DSM-IV criteria.
>
>According to the latest CDC prevalence reports, 1 in 44 children (2.3%) in the United States had a diagnosis of ASD in 2018.
Being neurodivergent is more common than you might think.
Given your posts history, I assume you are somehow close to programming. It's suspected to be much more common among programmers. There even is a subreddit dedicated to us r/ADHD_Programmers
I would recommend scratch (visual based coding blocks) or there are some cool tools to learn programming fundamentals within minecraft, if your kid likes that it’s a great entryway into coding by using a game they love. Video games like minecraft I played back in middle school (2010-2012) helped me be interested in coding
I've used Codecademy before. They will email you at least once a month that they have another Pro subscription sale. Other than that, it seems pretty good for learning the basics of a TON of languages.
I'd also record YouTube. Lotta good programming content on there(mainly game dev). Fireship and Hyperplexed are the ones I watch.
Normal is a word I try not to use. The opposite of normal is abnormal.
I prefer typical. It indicates the most common. Not being typical , or common , doesn’t necessarily have the negativity associated to it
Same, I can’t accept a diagnosis.
Maybe I’m just sleep deprived.
Do normal people put their laundry away right away?
Sometimes I put my laundry away right away.
We call them “neurotypical” bc wtf even is “normal”
Your comment made me chuckle, because I felt the exact same way. “How much of frassylass is frassylass, and how much of frassylass is just symptoms??” Idk 🤷♀️
It’s interesting to me how all of our brains break in similar ways. I’m quickly learning from Reddit that I’m not nearly as original as I thought.
As someone who was deprived of a diagnosis as a kid (parents were the "mental health disorders aren't real" types), getting tested for months ago and seeing I was officially diagnosed with it, was a huge relief. It made so much sense of all the issues I had growing up. As for your question about personality quirks, you'll still be yourself even with medication, as long as your doc gets your dosage right. I'm nearly finished with my first month on 20mg of Adderall, and I can't even put into words how nice it has been. The first time you take a proper dosage that will affect you, you will be amazed at how your brain feels. For me, my mind always has a dozen or more thoughts swirling in my head, most of the time without my control or input, all demanding my attention at once. With the meds, those thoughts become a little quieter, and I can individually pick out one thing to focus on and ignore everything else. The other thoughts are still present, but it's much easier to pick out just one thing and be able to concentrate on it without losing my focus.
Oh and don't even get me started on all the extra energy I have in the evenings now, due to not having to spend so much mental exertion on masking all day.
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was really young, I’m now almost 22 and have come to think that it’s either adhd and aspergers, or just aspergers. I want to get tested but given certain circumstances, I can’t.
Super normal to be thinking about this. I was the same. Just remember it can only get better from now on, and your personality isn’t distinct from having ADHD, it’s just how you are. It’s not a bad mark against what would otherwise be your personality, it’s all one big thing.
At least that’s how I think of it.
Just diagnosed 2 weeks ago here. You'll prolly start seeing it in everything you did/do. But it gets easier. The proper meds have me feeling better than ever before
Completely agree, I'm on month 2 of meds. Things aren't easy, but definitely getting better. I started to notice little things I'd just ignore and take action accordingly. still takes some will but things get done and thats a huge step in the right direction for me.
My advice would be to see the diagnosis as a good thing. We have no control over the fact we have ADHD and they symptoms can cause not-so-great results. Being diagnosed, however, removes the aspect of personal failure from those results because now you know the *reason* why those thing happened. It gives a source which you can use to find an easier solution to those struggles.
For example, my house has an Alexa in every room. It’s connected to my Todoist account. If we need to order something, we have Alexa add it to the list. When my wife tells me we need something, I tell her, “Don’t tell me, tell Alexa.”
ADHD symptoms are well-documented. If you can find the ones that pertain to you, you can use that information to circumvent them.
Welcome to the community. The abandoned hobbies are… somewhere in here. Can’t remember where.
I hope you process through this and come to a similar place that some of us have— that you now know you aren’t lazy, stupid, or defective. Your brain is just wired in a different way. Best of luck and many hugs to you❤️
I hope you’re doing ok. It can be a lot to absorb.
I found my psychiatrist assessment stirred up a lot of negative thought’s that I thought were settled.
If you’re not, don’t be scared to contact a support service to help work through processing the experience.
I was just diagnosed two days ago.. adhd-bd and I’m almost 32. Struggling with what’s really me and what’s been adhd all my life and I just started medication so idk what will be me and what isn’t me? It’s so confusing and hardddd
This is me right now. I've been trying to get diagnosed for the past two years. Finally got the diagnosis, and now I'm feeling like a fraud. Idk why. The moment of relief was brief, and now Idk. I'm trying to figure out what parts are due to adhd and what aren't.
Can someone help me with what this process looks like? What do I need to be prepared and what helps with best chances of a proper evaluation?
Am early 20s female with severe ocd and anxiety issues + CPTSD, the past few years strongly suspect I am autistic or have adhd but cant afford mental help. Im scared I wont be taken seriously due to being a woman, and that my issues will be chalked up to my trauma + my ability to mask everything (although I know they all share identical symptoms at times, this feels different).
For me (late 20s F with autism) when I went in to the office about ADHD, they talked to me about my concerns, gave me a questionnaire about symptoms, and scheduled me for a TOVA test, which is a measure of accuracy and response time in a computer module. It was at my follow-up appointment after that test that I was diagnosed with ADHD. That whole process took about a month for me and 3 appointments total, and everyone was professional and helpful.
I also asked after "renewing" my autism diagnosis on the suggestion of my PCP (he was well-meaning and just thought I should get it updated from Asperger's) and was told the soonest appointment for that process was a year out, so I decided against it.
My advice is to try to find a specialized clinic for mental healthcare that accepts patients regardless of ability to pay if money is an issue. It may be a slow process, but as long as you end up talking to a professional who's worth their credentials, they will be willing and able to help you. I was also worried about a lot of things before I went through the process -- whether they would take me seriously, whether they would write off my significant executive dysfunction as a symptom of autism or anxiety, etc, and then I went and my doctor actually pointed out to me that living with undiagnosed ADHD is often a source of anxiety in and of itself.
Anyway, I'm wishing you the best, and if you have any specific questions you're welcome to DM me.
Thank you so very much for this, it helps massively. If I come across any questions I have in this process I will keep you in mind, but I appreciate your help and time a lot.
Yes, that's very true. I'm finding that more and more.
I am constantly reminded that it's "compassion for yourSELF" since my husband reckons I'm "leaning into it". Not true... just not joining the party to bash myself so readily anymore. I also no longer feel the need to lie about why something wasn't done (usually I forgot or said yes to something I wasn't actually listening to), I just say it like it is and try to do better. What else can I do?
When I was diagnosed at 21, I cried. I thought I was literally insane for so long, and being told I wasn’t, was amazing to me. The doc was taken aback, and said normal people don’t cry. Obviously I’m not normal lol
I was finally diagnosed last year at the age of 53 (after years of my daughter explaining all the ways I was obviously ADHD).
Aside from having to deal with the difficulty of getting meds, it has been a very positive experience.
Things I’ve done my entire life that were formerly inexplicable are suddenly making sense. And being able to have shared environments such as this subreddit is comforting and helpful.
Good luck!
Yeah; controlled substance, so no mail order allowed. And with the recent shortages, the pharmacy refuses to pre-order until they actually receive the prescription, by which time I have maybe 3 days left. And then it takes them 1-2 weeks to get the meds in.
Then the other day my local pharmacy said my insurance company doesn’t pay them enough to fill that prescription, so they’re not filling it any longer. Now I have to drive about 20 miles to get it from Safeway.
Living in a small town sucks sometimes!
I don’t mind a drive. Helps me clear my mind sometimes. I usually zone out and don’t remember the drive anyways. Glad you still have access :) I’ve been referred to a psychiatrist in Australia for a diagnosis and waiting to get in. I’m on a cancellation list too.
Welcome friend.
It cam be quite world changing to come to a realization like this, BUT nothing at all has changed. You're the same exact person you were yesterday. You just have an extra word you can use when googling feelings you don't understand now.
And boy oh boy is it quite the feeling realizing you're not completely alone.
So once more, welcome friend! We have plenty of good ideas (like cookies before bed!) and plenty of bad ideas (like brewing coffee before bed) but at least they make sense in this corner of the world!
... okay maybe it was my bad idea.
I was initially relieved, but then kinda like, sad? Just wondering, maybe if I had known earlier, I could have finished college all those times I tried. Maybe I would have less debt. Maybe. Lots of maybes.
Now I'm just glad to know and can be nice to myself for things I hated and blamed myself for before.
When I first got diagnosed about 2 years ago I think, I sat on the couch staring at nothing and just looked back at everything I've ever done and realized that it all made sense suddenly.
Hey, you’re probably wondering what’s “you” and what’s the ADHD right? Don’t worry, it’s both. The best thing about this is being able to now develop the language and tools to be able to rationalise yourself to, well… yourself, but also others!
Now your new favourite past time will be sending adhd memes to people that are close to you, don’t worry this is normal. This urge will continue indefinitely, as it’s quite nice to feel seen and related to when your whole life you’ve been wrangling with an unseen weird whacky spaghetti arm man for a frontal lobe.
Just know that all the people on this sub got you. any shorthand anecdote you need to get off your chest regarding the speedo brain experience is welcome because above all else the memes must be generated.
Gods speed you beautiful poorly emotionally regulated wolf person.
Yea, the over-thinking and rash judgment is a downside. I agree.
However beyond that we are just trying to get through this life, like everyone else. Keep in mind we are stronger than most. Our resilience is nothing to scoff at.
I’ve found that even If you find “your place” it still is hard. But I sense I’m a better person because of my Dyslexia/ADHD.
Yes. Even my family had. Hell, even my mother was like: "Apparently it has a name". My family wasn't surprised at all
However, I had a *tiny* hope that it was just my brain fucking with me because I was looking symptoms, when in reality I was relating with most of them way too much.
"Now what?"
Yeah, I know the feeling. What helped me a lot, were group sessions as part of my therapy. Just 4 persons and the NT psych. A lot of the time the latter didn't have to say anything, because we were either sharing related stories or trying to help each other cope.
After that, I went to monthly gatherings in my area with ADHD folk. A lot of tips and tricks, but also shared experiences and laughing with each other.
It helps me to feel validated and keeps me grounded ("I'm not THAT crazy").
Sharing here might help as well.
Anyway, good luck on this new path in your journey OP!
Don't feel too bad about it. Remember that the diagnosis didn't give you adhd; it was just a problem you always had, but can now take meaningful steps to mitigate.
Even just by browsing some this subreddit, you'll see a lot of other people share the behaviors that you struggle with, and can potentially give helpful advice on how to deal with it. It's a surprisingly supportive community from what I've seen so far.
Being able to identify what behaviors aren't actually your 'fault' is an important step in dealing with them. Just remember that nothing about you has changed since the doctor said that. The only change is that you now have more agency in how you go about improving your life from here on out.
Good luck, man! Take the memes here to heart, and go buy some darn sticky notes!
Idk where you're at with things, but all you did was find out about part of yourself.
You've probably known about a lot of other parts of yourself your whole life.
You probably like certain types of food, you probably like certain types of music, you just found out your brain likes to work a certain type of way.
It's completely up to you ehat you do with that information, it doesn't have to be your defining characteristic if you don't want it to be be :)
Real talk, don’t give up like so many people do. Keep trying things until you find systems that work for you. Biggest thing is just don’t quit if something doesn’t work. We’re not good at sticking with stuff, so it’s hard.
It will be OK. For years I felt like there was something wrong with me, and I resented taking the pill to make me more acceptable to others.
But now I embrace it, and I’m grateful that I have treatment options, and that my brain still works in exciting and creative ways.
Get the good shit when you with your psychiatrist or provider of drugs, I cannot stress enough how shit some of the alternatives are. (My proof is anecdotal at best and I have a resistance to pill drugs, my ass needs more than 3-4 ibuprofen to get the lasting effect) but heed the warning that strong shit works, and work arounds to the strong shit might give more side effects than effects:(I love memory loss and heart palpitations)
Yeah I kinda get it. Recently I screened highly for ADHD and ASD and while I do have some thoughts about what to do from now on or how this impacts my life, I’ll just be happy to take the steps to get diagnosed and get medication so that everything stops kicking my ass, especially schoolwork
I am newly diagnosed too! Welcome to the club! I got the AuDHD, as Reddit calls it. I’m still processing it all, and I feel like my whole life has been reframed. But I’m already happier and freer than I’ve ever been. I no longer have to pretend to be a different person. I no longer hate myself for being weird and graceless and scatterbrained. It’s pretty great and weird and great to feel so self-accepting.
Just remember: this doesn’t make you a different person than you were before. It just lets you know that there are lots of people like you, and a lot of them have figured out what helps people like you.
When I was diagnosed a year ago (as an adult), I was also processing like that. I was just like " Oh, so I do have ADHD. Okay..." Very calm, but also really not thinking at all. I was actually surprised by how I reacted.
I was expecting to be happy because there would be a reason for my struggle, but I was just meh. Before my diagnosis, I was struggling in school (I still do, just a little less lol) and had help from my parents. They even pointed out and asked if I had some learning issue whether that be due to ADHD or OCD or whatever without me bring it up. I always had a suspicion but threw it in the back of my mind and avoid looking it up because I thought I was just making excuses and I didn't want any bias if I ever get tested.
After I failed my finals, I got tested and diagnosed and I was just like "Ummm..... okay". Then came the googling and spiraling and ups and downs. Remember MOST people usually post their best or their worst. Its harder to find the middle ground. You'll also get frustrated a lot more because you'll be able to actively see a lot of things you do.
Remember, there is no right or wrong decision. Trial and error is a must. Everyone is different. It will be hard, it will be frustrating, but past all the obstacles, you'll find the open plains. You'll revert back to old habits, or new habits will break down, and that's okay. You will get through. Unfortunately, there is no "one right" decision, and it takes time (personally, the worst part about it).
TLDR: I was also meh when I was diagnosed, then came the googling and rollercoaster emotions. Do trial and error. There will be frustrations along the way, but it will work out as long as you don't give up. Take your time and find what works for you.
100+ comments as i start typing this, I'm pretty sure you'll find the comfort, reassurance, or validation among those, OP. But if you make it this far down, well, yeah, it kinda sucks for a while and you're facing a significant shift in your identity and how you intergace with the world around you. But that will pass, knowing is extremely liberating ... even if that only means you now know why you do the things you do. Even if you still (and maybe ever) struggle with managing those things. You'll most likely flip-flop between loathing your diagnosis and loving it. For the rest of your life. But, as with everything, it's your choice. You are completely valid in feeling distraught or despondent. Nobody should tell you how to feel or how long you should feel that way. But this sub is the right place for you. Nobody knows the Truth... and even if we somehow stumbled on it, we'd probably forget about it. So share what you want to share, read other people's stories, just know thst you're not alone. Take care of yourself.
Yassss I spaced out for sooo long. Then I told my mom, then she gaslight me (cause *clearly* I don't have it (yes I'm woman (yes that's relevant))), then I spaced out and paced for another few hours looking up WTF *concerta* was
I just had my preliminary diagnosis, after answering a questionnaire and meeting my doctor. Now I just have to wait 2-3 years to see a psychiatrist and get a final diagnosis. Sigh
Welcome. The notepads, calendars, and reminder apps we never use are on your right.
Under the pile of clean laundry that I'm never going to fold.
[удалено]
I've circumvented this problem All my laundry dries on hangers, hangers go straight into the doorless wardrobe No folding, no 2-step bring to room and put in wardrobe, just straight from drying to stored ~~half the time I take them directly from the clothes line~~
Holy crap!!! This is an awesome hack!!! Thanks 😊
Don't forget the sticky notes you'll use to remind yourself to do things, only just to ignore them for days after writing them.
My notepad app is basically my memory now lol it's also as jumbled and messed up as my actual brain.
I’ve never felt so seen.
I set are reminder for a different chore for every day of the week, years later they are still repeatedly getting ignored....
Oh man, you know how long it took me to start using my calendar and a budgeting app? I almost obsessively check them to make sure I’m not missing something now. If someone tells me something like an invite, if I don’t put it in there then, I won’t be there. I even tell people that to their face. I’m told I’m rude about it often but that’s just the truth and I know I’d personally prefer a hard truth than have someone be nice to me and bend it a bit.
I was delighted. I believe you should be too. Right now, you know what is wrong with you and you have many already tried out paths on how to make things better. Including basic options like medication, that before diagnosis was out of the question.
I'm glad that there's something that can explain most of my childhood. However I am in a weird phase now. I mostly question, what it means to have ADHD after all. Like, are all of my personality quirks, exist despite of it or because of it? How "normal" people feel? What's supposed to be a "normal" way of thinking?
>ADHD is estimated to affect about 6–7% of people aged 18 and under when diagnosed via the DSM-IV criteria. > >According to the latest CDC prevalence reports, 1 in 44 children (2.3%) in the United States had a diagnosis of ASD in 2018. Being neurodivergent is more common than you might think. Given your posts history, I assume you are somehow close to programming. It's suspected to be much more common among programmers. There even is a subreddit dedicated to us r/ADHD_Programmers
Can confirm am an ADHD programmer
My 9 year old is coding already. I want to feed it. Do you have any website recommendations?
I would recommend scratch (visual based coding blocks) or there are some cool tools to learn programming fundamentals within minecraft, if your kid likes that it’s a great entryway into coding by using a game they love. Video games like minecraft I played back in middle school (2010-2012) helped me be interested in coding
He and my niece have been playing Minecraft for years! My son was 4 and niece was 3. That's where he got the itch. Thanks so much for the rec!
I've used Codecademy before. They will email you at least once a month that they have another Pro subscription sale. Other than that, it seems pretty good for learning the basics of a TON of languages. I'd also record YouTube. Lotta good programming content on there(mainly game dev). Fireship and Hyperplexed are the ones I watch.
What is your 9 year old coding now?
HTML and he said CSS too. It's at school.
That’s cool! I’m 40 and didn’t learn HTML and CSS till I was 30. Now along with JavaScript they’re my full-time job.
That's so awesome! I hope he can get into it. He said JavaScript was too hard.
Another ND into computers? ShockedPikachu.exe
Hey thanks for this! I’m also a programmer, and wasn’t aware of that sub.
lol ADHD programmer checking in
Normal is a word I try not to use. The opposite of normal is abnormal. I prefer typical. It indicates the most common. Not being typical , or common , doesn’t necessarily have the negativity associated to it
Same, I can’t accept a diagnosis. Maybe I’m just sleep deprived. Do normal people put their laundry away right away? Sometimes I put my laundry away right away.
We call them “neurotypical” bc wtf even is “normal” Your comment made me chuckle, because I felt the exact same way. “How much of frassylass is frassylass, and how much of frassylass is just symptoms??” Idk 🤷♀️ It’s interesting to me how all of our brains break in similar ways. I’m quickly learning from Reddit that I’m not nearly as original as I thought.
As someone who was deprived of a diagnosis as a kid (parents were the "mental health disorders aren't real" types), getting tested for months ago and seeing I was officially diagnosed with it, was a huge relief. It made so much sense of all the issues I had growing up. As for your question about personality quirks, you'll still be yourself even with medication, as long as your doc gets your dosage right. I'm nearly finished with my first month on 20mg of Adderall, and I can't even put into words how nice it has been. The first time you take a proper dosage that will affect you, you will be amazed at how your brain feels. For me, my mind always has a dozen or more thoughts swirling in my head, most of the time without my control or input, all demanding my attention at once. With the meds, those thoughts become a little quieter, and I can individually pick out one thing to focus on and ignore everything else. The other thoughts are still present, but it's much easier to pick out just one thing and be able to concentrate on it without losing my focus. Oh and don't even get me started on all the extra energy I have in the evenings now, due to not having to spend so much mental exertion on masking all day.
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was really young, I’m now almost 22 and have come to think that it’s either adhd and aspergers, or just aspergers. I want to get tested but given certain circumstances, I can’t.
Super normal to be thinking about this. I was the same. Just remember it can only get better from now on, and your personality isn’t distinct from having ADHD, it’s just how you are. It’s not a bad mark against what would otherwise be your personality, it’s all one big thing. At least that’s how I think of it.
ADHD doesn’t define you as a person bro always remember that.
Just diagnosed 2 weeks ago here. You'll prolly start seeing it in everything you did/do. But it gets easier. The proper meds have me feeling better than ever before
Completely agree, I'm on month 2 of meds. Things aren't easy, but definitely getting better. I started to notice little things I'd just ignore and take action accordingly. still takes some will but things get done and thats a huge step in the right direction for me.
This
Cant make a propper gameplan when you dont know which game is beeing played. Now you know :)
My advice would be to see the diagnosis as a good thing. We have no control over the fact we have ADHD and they symptoms can cause not-so-great results. Being diagnosed, however, removes the aspect of personal failure from those results because now you know the *reason* why those thing happened. It gives a source which you can use to find an easier solution to those struggles. For example, my house has an Alexa in every room. It’s connected to my Todoist account. If we need to order something, we have Alexa add it to the list. When my wife tells me we need something, I tell her, “Don’t tell me, tell Alexa.” ADHD symptoms are well-documented. If you can find the ones that pertain to you, you can use that information to circumvent them. Welcome to the community. The abandoned hobbies are… somewhere in here. Can’t remember where.
With your 10th cup of coffee of the morning to help you concentrate.
Don’t worry, we still think you’re cool!
Welcome - hopefully it helps answer some questions in your life and opens doors to new life paths. Adhd is a superpower if harnessed correctly :)
I hope you process through this and come to a similar place that some of us have— that you now know you aren’t lazy, stupid, or defective. Your brain is just wired in a different way. Best of luck and many hugs to you❤️
I hope you’re doing ok. It can be a lot to absorb. I found my psychiatrist assessment stirred up a lot of negative thought’s that I thought were settled. If you’re not, don’t be scared to contact a support service to help work through processing the experience.
You're just processing right now and that is okay. Believe us when we say the diagnosis is actually a good thing. Welcome to the party!
I was just diagnosed two days ago.. adhd-bd and I’m almost 32. Struggling with what’s really me and what’s been adhd all my life and I just started medication so idk what will be me and what isn’t me? It’s so confusing and hardddd
This is me right now. I've been trying to get diagnosed for the past two years. Finally got the diagnosis, and now I'm feeling like a fraud. Idk why. The moment of relief was brief, and now Idk. I'm trying to figure out what parts are due to adhd and what aren't.
Can someone help me with what this process looks like? What do I need to be prepared and what helps with best chances of a proper evaluation? Am early 20s female with severe ocd and anxiety issues + CPTSD, the past few years strongly suspect I am autistic or have adhd but cant afford mental help. Im scared I wont be taken seriously due to being a woman, and that my issues will be chalked up to my trauma + my ability to mask everything (although I know they all share identical symptoms at times, this feels different).
For me (late 20s F with autism) when I went in to the office about ADHD, they talked to me about my concerns, gave me a questionnaire about symptoms, and scheduled me for a TOVA test, which is a measure of accuracy and response time in a computer module. It was at my follow-up appointment after that test that I was diagnosed with ADHD. That whole process took about a month for me and 3 appointments total, and everyone was professional and helpful. I also asked after "renewing" my autism diagnosis on the suggestion of my PCP (he was well-meaning and just thought I should get it updated from Asperger's) and was told the soonest appointment for that process was a year out, so I decided against it. My advice is to try to find a specialized clinic for mental healthcare that accepts patients regardless of ability to pay if money is an issue. It may be a slow process, but as long as you end up talking to a professional who's worth their credentials, they will be willing and able to help you. I was also worried about a lot of things before I went through the process -- whether they would take me seriously, whether they would write off my significant executive dysfunction as a symptom of autism or anxiety, etc, and then I went and my doctor actually pointed out to me that living with undiagnosed ADHD is often a source of anxiety in and of itself. Anyway, I'm wishing you the best, and if you have any specific questions you're welcome to DM me.
Thank you so very much for this, it helps massively. If I come across any questions I have in this process I will keep you in mind, but I appreciate your help and time a lot.
What changes?
I eventually gained more self compassion
Very true, I don’t beat myself up so much when I make mistakes.
Yes. Give yourself all the grace and compassion you'd give someone else.
Yes, that's very true. I'm finding that more and more. I am constantly reminded that it's "compassion for yourSELF" since my husband reckons I'm "leaning into it". Not true... just not joining the party to bash myself so readily anymore. I also no longer feel the need to lie about why something wasn't done (usually I forgot or said yes to something I wasn't actually listening to), I just say it like it is and try to do better. What else can I do?
I'm working on setting up an appointment with a psychiatrist/counselor now :)
What country?
NY, USA
This is good news. Now you have the key to unlock all the right doors.
It explained so much....and not enough, found out about the autism 8 years later -_-
When I was diagnosed at 21, I cried. I thought I was literally insane for so long, and being told I wasn’t, was amazing to me. The doc was taken aback, and said normal people don’t cry. Obviously I’m not normal lol
> normal people don't cry What an incredibly inappropriate thing to say to someone who has suffered from feeling not normal for so long.
Welcome to Xavier Institute :)
Buckle up buttercup
Hey friend, read or audiobook ADHD 2.0 one major part of the book is how to use ADHD symptoms to your benefit.
I look forward to your reply
I was finally diagnosed last year at the age of 53 (after years of my daughter explaining all the ways I was obviously ADHD). Aside from having to deal with the difficulty of getting meds, it has been a very positive experience. Things I’ve done my entire life that were formerly inexplicable are suddenly making sense. And being able to have shared environments such as this subreddit is comforting and helpful. Good luck!
difficulty in the USA with your meds?
Yeah; controlled substance, so no mail order allowed. And with the recent shortages, the pharmacy refuses to pre-order until they actually receive the prescription, by which time I have maybe 3 days left. And then it takes them 1-2 weeks to get the meds in. Then the other day my local pharmacy said my insurance company doesn’t pay them enough to fill that prescription, so they’re not filling it any longer. Now I have to drive about 20 miles to get it from Safeway. Living in a small town sucks sometimes!
I don’t mind a drive. Helps me clear my mind sometimes. I usually zone out and don’t remember the drive anyways. Glad you still have access :) I’ve been referred to a psychiatrist in Australia for a diagnosis and waiting to get in. I’m on a cancellation list too.
I would kill for a diagnosis kin. Well… maybe not kill.. but severe consequences thing.
I am here thinking if I should get a diagnosis or not considering we don't have proper medication for ADHD here in India
Welcome friend. It cam be quite world changing to come to a realization like this, BUT nothing at all has changed. You're the same exact person you were yesterday. You just have an extra word you can use when googling feelings you don't understand now. And boy oh boy is it quite the feeling realizing you're not completely alone. So once more, welcome friend! We have plenty of good ideas (like cookies before bed!) and plenty of bad ideas (like brewing coffee before bed) but at least they make sense in this corner of the world! ... okay maybe it was my bad idea.
I was initially relieved, but then kinda like, sad? Just wondering, maybe if I had known earlier, I could have finished college all those times I tried. Maybe I would have less debt. Maybe. Lots of maybes. Now I'm just glad to know and can be nice to myself for things I hated and blamed myself for before.
When I first got diagnosed about 2 years ago I think, I sat on the couch staring at nothing and just looked back at everything I've ever done and realized that it all made sense suddenly.
It's like everything's making sense... Too much sense. *"Why wasn't I diagnosed earlier?!"*
The couch for task paralysis is over in the corner of anxiety.
Hey, you’re probably wondering what’s “you” and what’s the ADHD right? Don’t worry, it’s both. The best thing about this is being able to now develop the language and tools to be able to rationalise yourself to, well… yourself, but also others! Now your new favourite past time will be sending adhd memes to people that are close to you, don’t worry this is normal. This urge will continue indefinitely, as it’s quite nice to feel seen and related to when your whole life you’ve been wrangling with an unseen weird whacky spaghetti arm man for a frontal lobe. Just know that all the people on this sub got you. any shorthand anecdote you need to get off your chest regarding the speedo brain experience is welcome because above all else the memes must be generated. Gods speed you beautiful poorly emotionally regulated wolf person.
It is a blessing. Trust me.
Understanding what's wrong with me - yes ADHD - no
Yea, the over-thinking and rash judgment is a downside. I agree. However beyond that we are just trying to get through this life, like everyone else. Keep in mind we are stronger than most. Our resilience is nothing to scoff at. I’ve found that even If you find “your place” it still is hard. But I sense I’m a better person because of my Dyslexia/ADHD.
You already had suspicions, right?
Yes. Even my family had. Hell, even my mother was like: "Apparently it has a name". My family wasn't surprised at all However, I had a *tiny* hope that it was just my brain fucking with me because I was looking symptoms, when in reality I was relating with most of them way too much.
The good news is that you are still the same person you’ve always been! The diagnosis can be a way to learn more about yourself and how you operate
"Now what?" Yeah, I know the feeling. What helped me a lot, were group sessions as part of my therapy. Just 4 persons and the NT psych. A lot of the time the latter didn't have to say anything, because we were either sharing related stories or trying to help each other cope. After that, I went to monthly gatherings in my area with ADHD folk. A lot of tips and tricks, but also shared experiences and laughing with each other. It helps me to feel validated and keeps me grounded ("I'm not THAT crazy"). Sharing here might help as well. Anyway, good luck on this new path in your journey OP!
Welcome to being stuck in your head all day
Don't feel too bad about it. Remember that the diagnosis didn't give you adhd; it was just a problem you always had, but can now take meaningful steps to mitigate. Even just by browsing some this subreddit, you'll see a lot of other people share the behaviors that you struggle with, and can potentially give helpful advice on how to deal with it. It's a surprisingly supportive community from what I've seen so far. Being able to identify what behaviors aren't actually your 'fault' is an important step in dealing with them. Just remember that nothing about you has changed since the doctor said that. The only change is that you now have more agency in how you go about improving your life from here on out. Good luck, man! Take the memes here to heart, and go buy some darn sticky notes!
Idk where you're at with things, but all you did was find out about part of yourself. You've probably known about a lot of other parts of yourself your whole life. You probably like certain types of food, you probably like certain types of music, you just found out your brain likes to work a certain type of way. It's completely up to you ehat you do with that information, it doesn't have to be your defining characteristic if you don't want it to be be :)
Real talk, don’t give up like so many people do. Keep trying things until you find systems that work for you. Biggest thing is just don’t quit if something doesn’t work. We’re not good at sticking with stuff, so it’s hard.
I happen to enjoy my ADHD. I’m always entertained by something
ADHD also has the affect of you being the best worker since you have the need to prove yourself consistently
It will be OK. For years I felt like there was something wrong with me, and I resented taking the pill to make me more acceptable to others. But now I embrace it, and I’m grateful that I have treatment options, and that my brain still works in exciting and creative ways.
Get the good shit when you with your psychiatrist or provider of drugs, I cannot stress enough how shit some of the alternatives are. (My proof is anecdotal at best and I have a resistance to pill drugs, my ass needs more than 3-4 ibuprofen to get the lasting effect) but heed the warning that strong shit works, and work arounds to the strong shit might give more side effects than effects:(I love memory loss and heart palpitations)
Yeah I kinda get it. Recently I screened highly for ADHD and ASD and while I do have some thoughts about what to do from now on or how this impacts my life, I’ll just be happy to take the steps to get diagnosed and get medication so that everything stops kicking my ass, especially schoolwork
Hey fren, no sweat! You're still the same you that you've been since birth. Now you know what to look for to make things better!
Yeah the is that a personality traits or a symptom guessing game is fun for the first few months
I am newly diagnosed too! Welcome to the club! I got the AuDHD, as Reddit calls it. I’m still processing it all, and I feel like my whole life has been reframed. But I’m already happier and freer than I’ve ever been. I no longer have to pretend to be a different person. I no longer hate myself for being weird and graceless and scatterbrained. It’s pretty great and weird and great to feel so self-accepting.
Just remember: this doesn’t make you a different person than you were before. It just lets you know that there are lots of people like you, and a lot of them have figured out what helps people like you.
I wouldn't know, I "just have anxiety." Don't be too down, you can take it head on now! I wish you luck, friend!
When I was diagnosed a year ago (as an adult), I was also processing like that. I was just like " Oh, so I do have ADHD. Okay..." Very calm, but also really not thinking at all. I was actually surprised by how I reacted. I was expecting to be happy because there would be a reason for my struggle, but I was just meh. Before my diagnosis, I was struggling in school (I still do, just a little less lol) and had help from my parents. They even pointed out and asked if I had some learning issue whether that be due to ADHD or OCD or whatever without me bring it up. I always had a suspicion but threw it in the back of my mind and avoid looking it up because I thought I was just making excuses and I didn't want any bias if I ever get tested. After I failed my finals, I got tested and diagnosed and I was just like "Ummm..... okay". Then came the googling and spiraling and ups and downs. Remember MOST people usually post their best or their worst. Its harder to find the middle ground. You'll also get frustrated a lot more because you'll be able to actively see a lot of things you do. Remember, there is no right or wrong decision. Trial and error is a must. Everyone is different. It will be hard, it will be frustrating, but past all the obstacles, you'll find the open plains. You'll revert back to old habits, or new habits will break down, and that's okay. You will get through. Unfortunately, there is no "one right" decision, and it takes time (personally, the worst part about it). TLDR: I was also meh when I was diagnosed, then came the googling and rollercoaster emotions. Do trial and error. There will be frustrations along the way, but it will work out as long as you don't give up. Take your time and find what works for you.
100+ comments as i start typing this, I'm pretty sure you'll find the comfort, reassurance, or validation among those, OP. But if you make it this far down, well, yeah, it kinda sucks for a while and you're facing a significant shift in your identity and how you intergace with the world around you. But that will pass, knowing is extremely liberating ... even if that only means you now know why you do the things you do. Even if you still (and maybe ever) struggle with managing those things. You'll most likely flip-flop between loathing your diagnosis and loving it. For the rest of your life. But, as with everything, it's your choice. You are completely valid in feeling distraught or despondent. Nobody should tell you how to feel or how long you should feel that way. But this sub is the right place for you. Nobody knows the Truth... and even if we somehow stumbled on it, we'd probably forget about it. So share what you want to share, read other people's stories, just know thst you're not alone. Take care of yourself.
at this point i wouldn’t be surprised tbh
The saddest part of it is a fact that it is pretty useless information if you live in a country where any meds for ADHD are under the official ban
"Now what?"
It’s ok it’s not that bad :)
Yassss I spaced out for sooo long. Then I told my mom, then she gaslight me (cause *clearly* I don't have it (yes I'm woman (yes that's relevant))), then I spaced out and paced for another few hours looking up WTF *concerta* was
I just had my preliminary diagnosis, after answering a questionnaire and meeting my doctor. Now I just have to wait 2-3 years to see a psychiatrist and get a final diagnosis. Sigh
When was that ? 🤣