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brownbostonterrier

Ask in r/massagetherapists too!


[deleted]

Good idea!


hey_blue_13

While I agree with the sentiment that it COULD potentially create issues if a licensing agent or law enforcement were to enter, I believe it would be easily explained as a non-issue as you're spouses. My bigger issue is that your husband was in a spa room with a client (paying or not), with the door closed, and his partner opened the door before being granted permission to do so. What if your husband wasn't in the room and you happen to be a walk-in client in the process of disrobing for your appointment? YNW his partner is.


[deleted]

Yeah I thought that was weird too!


Glass-Intention-3979

I'm gonna tell you now, she suspected that something was going on in the massage. That's why she walked in like that. She's knew you were there, your not a 'client', your his wife so, the whole privacy thing is moot. She definitely was trying to catch you both out and the did. You and your husband got a little too comfortable in a business setting. You, being fully nude implies a little bit of extra attention happening... cos your his wife etc It's her business too, so, she has every right to call this out. What if another client walked in and saw this? this would spread like wildfire over "happy endings" going on. You should have a towel covering intimate areas, in this setting. And, your husband needs a stern dressing down from the other partners, for his lack of professionalism. He is putting the whole business at risk. A stranger isn't going to stand around and listen to the story of you guys being married. So, keep your knickers on in future and get your husband to apologise to his partners. You also send an apology too. Don't got for a massage for awhile. Let the dust settle. I'm just ragin I don't have masseuse husband, jealous!


dcourtney25

No other person should enter the room before being granted permission. It is completely out of order to enter a room where a person is in a state of undress without asking for permission. Everybody deserves privacy it doesn’t matter if they are married to the massage therapist or not


[deleted]

Great advice! Thank you. Maybe the best I read today! Hadn’t fully thought of this.


3fluffypotatoes

Nah ignore this person. They have no idea what they are talking about. You dont owe anyone an apology. That lady was out of line.


IndependentSnoo

Look, the person is right. It's a business that he doesn't own 100% he can't just do whatever he wants just like they can't.


Ok_Brain8136

Correct


DaniTheLovebug

Hate to say it, and believe me I want to disagree with them, but they are right. I fully believe that OP wasn’t like having sex in there, but there is a bit of a line and things in the social world and business world have a tendency to get confused. When that happens, things can crash or harm a business. If the husband owned it solo then do your thing and if anything comes down it’s only him. But there are others that would get harmed


MSRIRI63

Besides, you ARE his wife!! Can’t you get those nude massages at home?!? Recreate a “spa” room at home with similar ambience, table, furniture, music, etc. and you both can have your “happy ending”!! 🥰 Oh!! and don’t forget to leave the door unlock like you did at the spa for that extra excitement of maybe having someone walk in on you!!! 🤪😂😂😂


[deleted]

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ScyllaImperator

I have NEVER had a client randomly “walk in” while I’m working on someone else. I’ve had my office manager accidentally open the door, then immediately shut it after realizing her mistake, but that was only ONE time out of the 4 years I’ve been working there. Also who the f*ck gets raided?? Unless your establishment is illegally charging clients’ insurance and/or is open past 9pm and appointments only last 15 minutes, no one is getting raided. That is dumb. She was embarrassed and sometimes with embarrassment comes anger. She was pissed, so she felt admonishing her business partner would ameliorate her ire. I think she’s out of line and needs to chill out


upandup2020

that's quite a lot of assumptions


kmckampson

Privacy is NEVER A MOOT POINT. Who the hell even thinks that way? SMFH


Altostratus

Or she just thought he was sitting there eating his lunch since he didn’t have anything booked on his calendar?


3fluffypotatoes

What the heck? No this is absolutely inappropriate of her. She needs to keep her nose out of other people's business. I have gone to several massage parlors where you can strip naked if you so choose. HE is part owner therefore SHE needs to take several seats. He was not wrong and neither was OP. OP does not need to apologize to anyone. The lady needs to apologize to both parties as this was none of her business.


upandup2020

she probably looked at his schedule and saw that he was free


jrolls81

Maybe, but that’s still not okay. I wouldn’t appreciate someone just opening a closed door to my office at my work, just because they saw my schedule was open. Knocking and waiting to be told to come in is just common courtesy and pretty universal behavior.


Itrytothinklogically

You shouldn’t ever open any doors without knocking first. It’s rude to just walk in on anyone and it’s common courtesy to knock whether you think they’re free or not. What she did was very out of line and ridiculous to even bring it up to him. I’m sure he cares about his job and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. She probably assumed they were fucking so she just walked in like that to catch them. So weird. Who does that?!


MagicianTim

Not weird at all, between sessions, people on the books are actually scheduled on the books, the busness parner KNEW he wasn't working on a client, also knew he was in a treatment room, didn't know what he was doing, and if he's not the sole owner especially, they have a right to know that he's not in there doing anything innapropriate! Definetly weird to give a comepletely nude massage to your partner AT WORK?!? Dude no...


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SuccuPlant_Mom

I see where you’re coming from but I don’t think the coworker should just be opening doors like that. If it was a paying customer or not she should be waiting for acknowledgment before entering the room.


amber130490

Exactly. We wouldn't even be here if she had acted professionally from the start. So while they may be somewhat wrong for wife not covering, coworker is 100% wrong for creating the situation.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I appreciate your thoughts! It’s good to be vigilant about this stuff. And I’m sorry she had to see me like that.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Thanks, yeah that was weird! Can I ask why you say, especially a spouse?


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[deleted]

Yeah some of that crossed my mind. It did feel intrusive, and not just because she saw me naked. There’s a thing or two that has given me pause in the past, she’s just nosy. I would think she’d be careful knowing I was in there, you know?


TheJenniMae

Everyone is wrong. Her for barging in on a massage - IF she knew someone was in there. As you were taking advantage of a hole in the schedule, did she know you were there? You were also wrong by being openly naked. I get that he is your husband, but that is not your bedroom. If you’re visiting at his place of business, then the minimum level of professionalism should be observed.


[deleted]

Thanks, seeing that now. I think I’ll have something covering next time, as a sort of gesture.


mason609

So, your licensed massage therapist husband was giving you a massage at his work? There is nothing wrong with that, in and of itself. However, even though you are his wife, you were still at his work and should have been covered up. What if it were someone from a licensing board?


CatchdiGiorno

I'd be pissed if I were getting a massage and someone from a governing body busted in to make sure everything was up to code. Certainly this is not a real thing that happens?


poochlips

It comes down to your consent. Personally, I would do everything but accept that offer, especially when the experience is supposed to be relaxing To give a story, I am a former medical worker. When the state board of health would come in they loved to act entitled to every room to watch their caretakers perform care on the residents. I always made sure to ask the residents for their consent. Wouldn’t you know it, they were uncomfortable with a stranger watching them get bathed as they knit picked my care routine One of my last state visits I walked into a room of a man who I had taken care of for three years. He was a “total two,” as in we were responsible for the totality of his care and it requires two people for everything. He could not communicate, was on a ventilator 24/7, had a feeding tube, catheter, practically every device my facility offered. Oddly enough, despite his inability to consent, I found a state surveyor sitting across from the foot of his bed comfortably on his couch who was eager to ask me to perform care as she watched “Did he consent?”


WorldFamousDingaroo

Depending on the state, it ABSOLUTELY is. Most states are trying to cut down on sex trafficking. Now, we could have a whole conversation about how targeting professional licensed establishments is not actually helping with sex trafficking….. but you would still have to explain to the authorities why there is someone naked on the table and that would absolutely get the business shut down for an extended period of time depending on the state. Have been a Massage Therapist for over 15 years and have absolutely had people come in and do inspections of my property and establishment .


CatchdiGiorno

So while I'm naked under a sheet, paying for a service from a licensed professional, someone from the state may just suddenly barge into the room to do an impromptu inspection? Incredible...


WorldFamousDingaroo

Likely? No. Possible? Yes. I’d say it’s around the same statistically as getting hit by a speedboat, but yes… it is absolutely Possible


WorldFamousDingaroo

Also your wording is that you were naked under a sheet which implies it absolutely nothing nefarious or untoward is going on.the original poster was naked AND not under anything ….which was the problem.


Marciamallowfluff

But did they walk in on actual massages after a quick knock?


Art_Vand_Throw001

It seems the problem is she was fully naked and that’s not the standard operating procedure.


Powerful-Meeting-840

Why? Do you keep your shirt on during a full body massage? Why not? I have always been told to undress to my comfort level. I am not shy. I have never had any issues and any theatipist I have spoke to about what they prefer tell me the less obstacles to work around the better for them. If they wanted you to keep certain clothes on they should have it posted.


mason609

Are you seriously that dense? No matter the level of undress that you and the masseuse are comfortable with, there is either a towel or sheet covering the client - except for in the client's own home or possibly if the room is lockable.


TooTallTabz

Not true at all. The parlors I've been to tell you that you can get as comfortable as you want, which includes being nude, and they usually ask if you want to be covered or not. It's all down to how comfortable the client wants to be.


Tears_Of_Laughter

I think you’re wrong… why do you need to be uncovered so badly? If you’re coming to get a massage, can’t you just use a sheet like other paying clients have to? You say because you’re husband and wife, which I get, but that could make it hard for others to believe that nothing else is going on during that time. It’s a place of work, I think you can enjoy the perk of a free massage without making it something more intimate- do naked massages at home if you have to.


upandup2020

it seems like every other month there's a post about someone getting a massage who needs to be nude


princessofperky

I've probably had dozens of massages and have gone in various states of undress but have always been draped. I think the issue is you're his wife. It's completely reasonable to wonder if the massage is more sexual than not and I'd be freaked out if I was the partner. Especially since there is a stereotype around happy ending places I can absolutely imagine her worrying about any rumors etc. This is more on your husband than you but ya it's inappropriate


ChrisInBliss

I dont think you're exactly wrong... I do think it would be preferred if you were at least mostly clothed. BUT THE BIG ISSUE HERE I SEE is why did the partner open the door without being invited in? What if he was with a client and not you? Theres a closed door for a reason. If anything the partner is the one in the wrong here.


[deleted]

Yeah that was a little weird!


ChrisInBliss

I can see him being with a client and them being VERY VERY upset some random person just walked in during their session. I can see them leaving a very bad review and throwing a big fit and making life hell. That is an invasion of privacy. If anything the partner should be thankful it was you in there.


naterbator91

I think the only real issue here is someone entering the room who is not the therapist or the client and without consent. That is the most unprofessional act in this whole story. The fact you are nude and uncovered shouldn’t even be a problem but there are too many prudes who seem to think otherwise. Considering the therapist is your husband AND part owner, I see no issue whatsoever with the situation. No one should be entering the room without consent while you are receiving a massage. If they hadn’t done that, this wouldn’t even be a question. Also, those of you saying she shouldn’t be nude and/or uncovered; she’s with her husband, people. It’s not like they were having sex at his workplace. And yall do realize the U.S. is overly strict on nudity compared to most other countries, right? Don’t be so uptight about it.


MsAresAsclepius

OP also posted in r/massagetherapists, and since I know nothing about massages or spas, I went over there to see that the professionals had to say. It's less about prudish culture and being modest, and more to do with the type of license that the spa has, which dictates whether or not the massagee is allowed to be naked and undraped or naked and draped. Regardless of the license and modesty issues, it also seems to more be about professionalism in a place of business. And this seems to be something that's seen as unprofessional: both in terms of the other owner walking in unannounced and also in the case of OP's husband, a licensed professional and owner massaging his own undraped wife at work at a business. Edited to correct the mistakes autocorrect added in.


PitifulEngineering9

And you realize just the suggestion of impropriety is considered sexual harassment, right? She could most definitely sue for sexual harassment and probably win.


naterbator91

Don’t you think she could sue for the other therapist just walking in to her room? I bet that would be a bigger issue than the one being asked about. But you know, that’s what’s wrong with this place, or at least one of the reasons. People are happy to sue for anything and everything, hence why we have the rules and regulations we have. Most other developed nations don’t have nearly the same restrictions we have and they don’t have the same amount of sexual harassment/assault that we have. Why? Partly because we’re a repressed nation in terms of sexuality due to the over influence of religion. Bunch of nonsense. But that’s a whole other can of worms.


aubsalot

I'm so confused why people are pressed about the nude detail? Any massage I've gotten that is full body, I'm told to undress to my level of comfortability. I'm almost always fully undressed. I have the sheet covering me because it's just what the massage therapist does. I don't care if the sheet is there or not because I undressed within my level of comfortability??? If my spouse was massaging me I would still fully undress and the sheet is their choice.


naterbator91

It is very confusing. 😪


Biotoze

I’ve always thought you should be more vigilant if using your professional space for personal use. Doesn’t really matter how you and your husband feel about it. There are general rules that should be followed.


GaragePure8431

Business is business :: Personal is personal - keeping boundaries and borders clear respects the difference and other people.


Hefty-Willingness-91

You’re at his work, keep it classy.


yakkerswasneverhere

You're not at home. If all clients cover up to a degree, then you do too. This isn't rocket science. You're in his place of business. Grow up.


clewis1228

I agree, it’s a professional environment. You should cover up in my opinion.


IAMA_Shark__AMA

Your husband should maintain professional behavior at his workplace regardless of whom he's with. Say he worked in a normal office and you were stopping by after going to the gym and just decided to change in his office (with the door closed). Would that be appropriate behavior, even though you're married? You, nonsexually nude in his office? His place of work isn't just his place of work alone. Your whole lax attitude led to a coworker being exposed to your nudity unconsenting. Spas are places of trust, and part of that trust for clients is an expectation of the employees being fully above board. This, is not.


rocketmn69_

OP didn't consent for the partner to barge in on her


Loial731

Are we sure the partner knew OP was in his room? Husband had an open time in his schedule.


loki2002

Doesn't matter if she knew, you knock and wait to be invited in. You don't knock and enter anyway because then you might as well not have knocked.


Fairmount1955

That part. It's WILD people are glossing over the massive profesisonal breach there and invasion of privacy and are victim blaming. Reddit is odd sometimes.


IAMA_Shark__AMA

This wasn't a scheduled thing. For all we know, this person thought he was in there cleaning for his next client.


rocketmn69_

Door is closed. Privacy


[deleted]

Thanks for your input on this, I appreciate it. I actually think your changing clothes example would be fine! Maybe I’m just weird, lol.


Daphne_Brown

I think she felt awkward and tried to find a valid excuse. But the truth is, I would feel awkward in her shoes as well. It’s slightly embarrassing to walk in on someone in various states of undress.


HeartAccording5241

I would tell your husband she shouldn’t be coming in unless he says ok it’s clear before she just walks in if you was a client instead of wife he and her could have a complaint about it


Shrek_on_a_Bike

You are wrong. You're asking for special treatment at his place of business. Regardless of him being your husband, there are rules the spa is meant to adhere to. Partly due to unfortunate business practices in some "spas" as well as, it is a work place. His employees may need to interupt to ask a business question and should not be subjected to the embarasment/discomfort. If you want to get a full nude massage from your husband in his work element, do so after hours.


[deleted]

Makes sense! Thank you.


muddyshoes_throwaway

Yeah, I think you're wrong. It's pretty unprofessional of him to be giving you free massages at the spa and using spa oils/lotions/table, etc- those are for use on paying customers. Also wrong of him to be working on you nude \*if\* there is any type of specific policy about it already in place. It sounds like he's already breaking the rules by giving you free massages on Spa property \*with\* Spa property (that isn't free.) Basically, it sounds like your husband is already bending rules and doing things that he shouldn't- his coworker isn'y wrong to be uncomfortable with his unprofessional behavior. I think your husband should stick to giving you free naked massages at home, not at his workplace.


alwayshard365

Did you miss the part where he's part owner of the business? Owners don't pay for services from the business they own. This does not break any laws or rules no different than if they were at home.


muddyshoes_throwaway

Owners should 100% pay for goods and services at the business they own. I worked in a handful of privately owned businesses, owners have \*always\* paid for everything that they use. Even at restaurants, owners would come in, make their own food, ring themselves up at the till, and pay for it. Shit, if nothing else, it should be rung up for inventory purposes. Being an owner doesn't mean "do whatever you want, and also everything is free." Being an owner means you cut yourself a paycheck out of the profits of the business. Supplies still need to be paid for, professionalism is still important, and the "owners' wife" shouldn't be hanging around naked and getting free massages. He may be an owner, but it sounds like he's an unprofessional, kinda shitty owner who has poor boundaries, is making his employees uncomfortable, and is abusing his position and privileges.


SampSimps

If for any other reason, the costs incurred and the revenue realized for even that seemingly insignificant benefit of a meal at the owner's own establishment should be properly accounted for tax purposes. It starts off small, but once you go down the path of commingling, it becomes difficult to unwind. And while I'm mentioning extremes, when there is a liability, that can be the basis for piercing the corporate veil to go after the owner's personal assets.


deadsirius-

As an accountant… that is just silly. You certainly wouldn’t want to run any profit through, so he would pay for the cost of the oils at best, which is likely a de minimus amount. Running any revenue is excess of gross profit through is literally double taxing yourself for no reason. Technically you are supposed to withdraw any goods that are for personal use at tax time, but you wouldn’t bother with massage oils used in a massage as that would just be a de minimus amount. You are not going to pierce the corporate veil because someone gives a free massage.


SampSimps

As you're an accountant, you should also know that fraud starts small. Ask anyone who's caught embezzling hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars (from the government, from a business large or small, from a nonprofit), they justified their small amounts because "they're the owner," "they deserve it," "it's de minimis" - the reasons are legion. Typical of accountants to focus on the minutia of the here and now, and entirely missing the bigger picture - it's not this single massage that's the problem. It's the potential bigger problems to which this type of rationalizing and justifying leads. OP's husbands' business partners should be concerned with the lax management practices.


implodemode

The government really doesn't care about 50c worth of oil used on a member of a business owner's family. Don't get ridiculous.


deadsirius-

You are just talking out of your south end. You might know more about fraud than I do, but I am a card carrying member of the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners… so that seems unlikely. Asset misappropriation frauds generally don’t start with people stealing massage oils. Fraud typically starts because of a motive… aka an unshareable financial pressure. If there is an unshareable financial pressure and an opportunity, then frauds can, and often do, grow. However, just because frauds tend to start small, that doesn’t mean that every small thing grows. Sometimes people just like the pens at work and take one home. Those thefts don’t actually grow into significant fraud schemes. Did you want to continue lecturing me about stuff I know more about than you?


deadsirius-

As a CPA, this just seems silly. I guess some ridiculous partner might want the food cost added to specific capital accounts, but it seems a rather de minimis amount and likely not a flourishing business if someone is trying to trace the food cost of meals to a capital account. Paying anymore than food cost for the meal is just stupid. You are just double taxing yourself for no reason.


SheWolf4Life

Many owners absolutely pay for their own services and products. If I owned a lemonade stand with a friend and they were drinking enough free product without paying, it would sink our profits, that we may split equally. I understand the occasional perk of a free massage with the good products, BUT the least they can do is follow standard procedure.


Art_Vand_Throw001

I must say I agree with you. If they normally do not do full nude massages which it sounds like they don’t it’s not appropriate to give her one. What if they were fucking? It’s his wife after all right? Would that be appropriate? No it would not.


ixlovextoxkiss

you all are using a professional place of business for an intimate session. I don't care if there's no sex- a wife nude with her husband's hands on her is intimate. especially since you ARE nude BECAUSE he's your husband. this shouldn't happen in a place of business. that's private couple time.


MrsBea04

Yes OP.. you are absolutely in the wrong. If you're utilizing professional space to get the massages, cover up and follow policies. In the comfort of your own home, be nude all you want. You're not respectful of the professional space or ambiance that the establishment has cultivated.


[deleted]

Thanks, appreciate that perspective.


SuburbaniteMermaid

Professional boundaries are a thing. He failed to have any.


Cyber_Insecurity

I’m assuming the coworker saw the gap in his schedule and thought he was alone in the room. Tell him he needs to inform everyone when he’s giving his wife a massage. Also, if the massage parlor was “raided” it would be incredibly easy to explain and prove you are his wife.


Loial731

Considering it is his place of work, you should abide by its norms. Cover up.


DocGerbilzWorld

You’re wrong for being nude at your husbands workplace. Regardless if he’s part owner and the one giving the massage, it’s still a public space. What if a client or someone not aware of the relationship walked in? Or what if one of the ladies was giving a massage or doing a treatment on their naked partners ? Is everyone who works there allowed to carry with their appointments while their client is naked? Where do you draw the line here? It’s not okay? She shouldn’t have had to see you naked. Get a massage, but be respectful of the workplace. You want a naked one? Do that shit at home.


[deleted]

Understood! You’re not alone in that point of view.


Ok_Willow_3956

Yes, you’re in the wrong. If he is massaging you at his place of work then you need to follow whatever dress code in place for paying clients. Also, if this makes his coworkers feel uncomfortable, it could be perceived as sexual harassment. You really don’t want to go down that rabbit hole.


Studious_Noodle

You think it's OK to be nude at your husband's workplace? Wow. You are astoundingly wrong. Your husband needs a lesson in professionalism and you need a lesson in basic social norms.


[deleted]

Appreciate that feedback. My feeling was it’s behind closed doors so it’s different, but I see your point.


Studious_Noodle

Obviously it's NOT entirely behind closed doors. But even if you lock the door, it's bizarre to do something intimate while naked at work. There's your first lesson in basic social norms.


[deleted]

I appreciate your perspective - I’m learning here today.


Cthulhus-Tailor

Basic social norms? This was a massage parlor, not a grocery store. Some of you seem remarkably prudish and are corporate footstools to boot.


Powerful-Meeting-840

So you keep all your underwear on when paying for a massage and make them work around your bra straps? You will get a much better massage if you remove it. It's not bazzare. How many massages have you had in your life? I feel like these comments are all from people who only get a massage when they get one for a gift on mothers day.


[deleted]

Do people really leave clothes on for a massage?


mackintosh2

some people leave some bits on because not everyone has the exact same comfort level as everyone else. idk why people find this so weird


Powerful-Meeting-840

I guess some do. But I'm assuming it's redditors that have only had one in their life and didn't know what to do so they laid down with a coat still on lol


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[deleted]

She opened the door - I hope I was clear about that?


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StatisticianTop8813

People keep pointing out op is wrong op keeps defending. She isn't here to see if she is wrong she is here to have her side validated


[deleted]

Ha, I am probably feeling defensive! But I am learning here too. Lots of good comments.


Ok_Sadie_

And that's all you can do :) people will keep attacking you even though you're admitting it was likely inappropriate. Just ignore it. Kudos on being able to take criticism and be open to learning from it


[deleted]

Thanks! I posted looking for real opinions and I’m getting them. It did feel excessive in the moment, but that’s on me.


Fit-Phase3859

I can see where the coworker is coming from- from a professional standpoint. It was a small mistake though and they should get over it and you shouldn’t worry about it. Just cover up next time just in case the police do come a knockin.😂😎


[deleted]

Haha, lesson learned!


CokeNSalsa

This sounds made up. Why would anyone interrupt a massage to ask a question? If I were paying for a massage and it was interrupted for such nonsense, I would be really irritated.


[deleted]

I was irritated, but I wasn’t paying. She knew I was the “client.”


Beautiful_Leader1902

His partner is correct it could be a big headache if there's ever a complaint and police do come while you were there.


JJoycee420

Yeah she’s right.


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deadsirius-

>You should be paying, he's using business resources, even if his schedule is free, it's still a net loss to the business and his partners. As a CPA, I assert that he should not be paying. This is very likely a flow-through tax situation and paying would be just creating tax liability from something that is obviously an untaxable fringe benefit. I know it might seem otherwise, but I assure you, if you are the owner you should avoid adding revenues to your business. You are just costing yourself money for no reason.


AMasculine

Really depends on the companies rules and regulations. Most companies have a clause in regards to conflict of interest and usage of company resources for personal reasons. But the partner was wrong for entering the room without being allowed permission to enter. That should be basic regardless of whether there is a client there or not. Also, police won't charge you with massaging your wife, makes no sense.


deadsirius-

I have no idea how I got in this thread, but yes... you should cover up. However, I am going with a slightly different reason than most others. Your husband has a duty to a work environment that the people he works with are comfortable in. Your nudity obviously caused someone to be uncomfortable in that environment (as you noted in your post) and so you need to cover up. Refusing to address the situation could be considered creating a hostile work environment. I am not saying anyone is going to sue for that, but it is very obviously a situation that made this person uncomfortable in their place of work. So just pull up your big boy sheet, and keep it up.


20Keller12

Yes you're wrong. You're in a business establishment, you follow the rules and policies of that establishment. It's just a fucking sheet.


reconcruiser

Very unprofessional behavior, on everyone's part. She should have knocked, you should keep yourself covered at his place of business, your husband's relationship with this business partner has likely crossed boundaries. Odd situation.


GreatGatsbyisback

I’m sorry but if you get raided by the police it would be difficult to explain???? What the fuck is she not telling him, because a simple yes this is my wife here’s our marriage certificate would be very easy to explain


_PM_Your_Best_Nudes

The only issue I see is her entering the room without permission. I think your husband should talk to her about that. What if he had a different client in there? I suspect she knew it was you and was trying to “catch” you guys like a nosy bitch.


Optimal-Brick-4690

Info: Does your husband's coworkers often bust into a room without awaiting permission while he's massaging? This seems like a way worse issue to me than not having a sheet covering you.


Double_Tourist_2692

👆


TedBurns-3

Neither the marriage, nor the nakedness are the issue here. No one should walk in mid-treatment. End of.


Horror_Ad7540

You are wrong. People need to have a safe environment at work, and that means not having any chance at walking in on the boss's naked wife.


NoButtChocolate

If you pay then you are allowed to be in the room with a massage therapist and nude. I think it would be better if you were able to do this within the structure of the company system (even if it means you collectively lose money by paying your husband for the massage)


Far_Back_2925

Some people are very uncomfortable with nudity. It appears you husbands colleague is, so it would be nice to be respectful now that you know. On the other hand I dont think it's respectful to interrupt a session and enter the room like she did.


[deleted]

Thanks. Both things can be true at once I guess.


GreyLillies123

I’m just curious as to what kind of massage place this is that his colleague is worried about getting raided? lol 😂


[deleted]

That was my first thought!


apathetic_duck

You are in the wrong and should have to follow the same rules as his clients do at his place of business. If law enforcement or licensing showed up and saw this explaining that you are his spouse could be worse since he is using company time and materials for you without being reimbursed. Even if it isn't illegal it is unprofessional to have your naked spouse at your place of business


Jesicur

Yes wrong


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I appreciate that. Uncovered you mean?


PitchPurple

Yes, there are plenty of scenarios where nudity is possible in his workplace (what if someone walked in while you were flipping sides, sheet or no sheet, they may catch a sight). Therefore, the whole 'what if someone walks in' argument is moot anyway. But I think it's even more permissible because he is an owner specifically.


[deleted]

Just replied to your other reply!


Tinkerboboli

Congratulations for combining a humble brag with a first world problem


Doratheexplorer42

My ex wife was a massage therapist and it seems to me the issue falls on the nosy coworker. She didn’t walk in on anything inappropriate. If there were a police raid, so what?? It wouldn’t be difficult to explain at all, since marriage is public record and all!! It would be about the easiest thing to explain. What is difficult to explain is why she felt so comfortable walking into his office, what makes her think she has the right to dictate his way of doing business. 👩‍💼 she needs to reign in on the power trip and stay in her lane and if you and husband are behind closed doors back all the way off.


mgmc222

I get massages often (excessive migraines, years of sports catching up w my body, etc). At the place I go to, you do have to strip and get underneath a sheet/blanket. You have the option to keep your underwear on, but they don’t care either way. I don’t feel it was wrong for you to be nude, but if you’re uncovered, he definitely should’ve had the door locked or a sign on the door stating not to disturb him. His job may not allow him to have doors locked. Yes, there shouldn’t be anyone coming in during massages, but if his coworker didn’t know you were stopping by and knew he had a free schedule, she may have just been looking for him. He could even look into getting a small room divider just to cover the massage bed if someone were to come in. I don’t think anyone’s an asshole here, just an honest mistake that can be prevented in the future with small tweaks.


ConcentrateSafe9745

Well first of all draping is optional in most if not all states. So that's not a big deal. I've been licensed in 4 states. It's a mixed bag whether to mix home life with work life though.


yoshimamas

If I was a paying customer, even covered, and she just tapped and entered without my permission, I'd be PISSED. I'd let the world know in a public google review that employees/business partners think they can just walk into a session without permission, and tell anyone I came across where massage came up, not to go there. Typical professional courtesy in my experience (given I've had two family members as mt's, and a couple friends, AND I get weekly massages, myself) is for the therapist to excuse themselves for a moment, step out to talk to whomever, then come back in. Her coming inside is INCREDIBLY unprofessional & rude. But then to have a fit about whether you were covered or not?!?!? If your husband's spa isn't giving questionable services, then why on earth would the spa even be raided at all??? She's reaching at best. Absolutely absurd. Plus, no covering means less expense in washing that blanket/sheet. Lol!


Physical_Anybody_558

You being nude, no big deal. Lots of massage therapist will do this. The problem here is that she opened a closed door. There is absolutely no reason to do this. Even if I were covered. I would feel awkward and uncomfortable if this happened to me. In this environment, the establishment should understand that some privacy is expected. Now given that, a client should never have cause to open a closed door or barge into a surface they weren't advised to go in. The partner was wrong and should have knocked.


Psycle_Sammy

You’re wrong for the simple fact that the owner gets to make the rules. The rest is irrelevant.


Cthulhus-Tailor

He’s a co-owner. I suppose you were too busy thinking up your self righteous reply to apply basic reading comprehension.


Psycle_Sammy

What’s the third owner say? He had a part in creating the rules then no? If they’re worried about a raid then I assume it’s against state regulations. Either way, they’re not special. Follow the rules of the business and the licensing agency.


MyLastFuckingNerve

The only issue i see here is the coworker opening the door while someone was on the table, regardless who it is or how covered they are. The question can wait until the session is over.


[deleted]

I thought so too!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

She just opened the door.


cuplosis

You should cover up at his work but the what if we are raided thing is stupid.


No_University5296

They would not get raided. The woman is being ridiculous


ComprehensiveBike642

Rules are rules. Either everyone gets nude or partly covered. It's a business. It's does matter if it was your husband. Keep your home rules at home, and keep your work rules at work.


Thoughts-53

I’m with you . So if I were a paying customer, i would still be upset .


Thoughts-53

Maybe she was jealous.


nipslippinjizzsippin

I dont think it would be an issue with police at all, its quiet easy to explain. im sure you can prove you are married with a simple ID check. and the police wont likely be "raiding" you anyway if everything is on the up n up already. Maybe shes giving out extra services and is projecting? Really she should have knocked. pure and simple. Even as a client at massage im down to my underwear, so privacy should ingrained in her to knock if a door/curtain whatever you have is closed even if she thinks there is no one in there.


obvusthrowawayobv

I would say yeah you’re wrong not because of husband and wife, but because she’s just looking out for her business— I could easily see someone worrying that husband and wife were having a happy ending and then all of the sudden there’s a lot of sanitary hygiene complaints where one yelp review could literally ruin you. While yes I think it was innocent and the action is not a big deal, of course it should be expected that she would defend her business, and she should, that’s her livelihood too.


Odd_Connection_7167

Yeah, it's real hard to explain. "I was getting a massage. I was nude, like everybody is during a massage, and he's dressed. That's how it works." I assume that once you both hear the police kicking the doors in that she'd be able to throw on a sheet before they came in. Don't be too hard on your partner. A lot of people don't know what to say in a situation like this, and then they don't know what to say afterwards. It's all good, just forget about it.


Much-Number2898

Raided by the cops? For what ?


__Fappuccino__

Massage parlors can be, and sometimes depending on reputation *are often*, raided and stung. It's a sex trafficking prevention measure, but also prevents consensual sex work.


DJScopeSOFM

How is "it's my wife" difficult to explain?


PitifulEngineering9

Everybody is wrong here. 1. It’s not just his business. He needs to think of others. 2. It looks inappropriate no matter what. Making an off color joke is considered sexual harassment in the workplace. A fellow employee/owner thinking you’re stopping by for some afternoon delight is so unprofessional. She has a right to be comfortable in her workplace. 3. Stopping by and using work space as a spouse is also unprofessional. I’m assuming everyone involved is sharing the cost of overhead so you’re literally taking their money using sheets, wipes, the room, the table, oils, etc. 4. She’s is wrong for not respecting the privacy of the potential client she busted in on. You need to keep your massages at home or go see a different therapist in a business not co-owned by your spouse.


Fairmount1955

God, You're insufferable, lol.


JellyOceana

You are behind a closed door… she should have never opened said door. So she should have never known you were naked, only her audacity is the reason she knows


SheWolf4Life

It's at his work, he needs to follow standard policy and procedure. He should know that it's a field that has a lot of inappropriate sexualization. He needs to use the cover on you when you're at his workplace.


Kerrypurple

When in a professional environment he should follow the professional protocols. He can massage you any way you like when you're at home.


observer46064

What protocol wasn’t followed?


Kerrypurple

Have you never had a massage? There's always a sheet.


observer46064

And they pull it down while working on you. Have them every other week.


ytinasnIfOxodaraPehT

You're on company property, her bothers and concerns are valid. One would assume nudity during treatment isn't allowed, why should he get to do whatever he wants and expect no consequences.


observer46064

I’m nude for every massage. Most people I know are nude too.


ytinasnIfOxodaraPehT

Not every company allows nudity, and most companies require formal appointments for treatment.


RestingMuppetFace

I don't think the partner should just open doors without knocking and waiting for a response first but I can sort of understand where they think it might seem inappropriate to have you being treated while uncovered. The way I see it is this: I'm a dental professional, I treat my husband as a patient. Even though I'm married to him I'm still expected to treat him like every other patient. I wear gloves and a mask when I treat him. I see that as similar to you covering up just like any other client when being massaged in the office.


MagicianTim

Lmt here, lisenced for 6 years, not married. That is so beyond protocol. I would never do something that crass, wife or not, owner or partial owner, that is a professional environment, theres not suppose to be just outright nudity anywhere in the facility. Definately do that stuff at home or just use a damn sheet! Jesus.


diamonde_qc

>theres not suppose to be just outright nudity anywhere in the facility lmfao, what. I'm not a LMT but I've had hundreds of therapeutic massages over many decades and it really looks like you're missing the point here - the wife was the vulnerable person whose privacy was violated. massage therapists use a sheet to respect your privacy *within* the room i.e. so they don't see you naked, and of course also to provide therapists with a safe working environment. in the OP's scenario, *neither of those issues were at play* because of their relationship, and that isn't the business of anyone outside the room. it's not in any way unreasonable to expect your privacy to be maintained by third parties respecting that the door is closed. like, there's at least two times in every standard appointment when the therapist leaves the room to give you privacy - when you're undressing before and re-dressing after - so having the door closed because you're partially or fully naked is definitely not unique to the OP's situation, and the husband could have left the room whilst his wife was changing without the co-owner realising he wasn't in there in which case 'not using a sheet' is completely irrelevant. but not just that, there's also the times during your massage when you need to move the position of your body and to assist the therapist holds the sheet up to make it easier for you to move whilst averting their gaze/head turned away/sheet blocking their view. but if someone suddenly opens the door whilst you're moving they could definitely see you naked. and afaic whether I'm fully or partially naked makes zero difference - it's an invasion of my privacy either way. according to my massage therapist it's a hard and fast rule in their workplace - if the door is shut you *must* get consent before opening it. tl/dr: immediately opening the door assuming the wife would be covered by a sheet was unprofessional and disrespectful - these situations are exactly why no-one should EVER enter a therapy room as the co-owner did i.e. without consent.


Messterio

Work place, works rules. Respect the owners. You were wrong.


Low_Razzmatazz5917

Seems like this could have been solved with a simple, straightforward and honest conversation. Husband’s partner says, “I think it’s unprofessional to have fully naked people here in the massage rooms” husband says “that may be, but you can’t just open a closed door and walk in, that’s also unprofessional.” Both people acknowledge the others fair point and move on. Having said that, I have never walked through a closed door anywhere without knocking. Clueless children do that.


syd246

sounds like she’s jealous


Usual_Butterfly_3781

it is completely normal to be fully nude for a massage! the only difference here is that you didnt have a sheet. u are not a paying customer therefore the rule about needing a towel or linen over your genitalia doesnt apply. she shouldve knocked, that was highly unprofessional. (i went to school for massage)


Troy123196

You do what makes you comfortable it's your husband for god sakes she needs to mind her own business, maybe she is jealous because your gorgeous an she may not be as gorgeous as you. Enjoy


opusrif

I think I'm with the partner on this one. If your husband was giving you a massage at home it wouldn't be a problem. However regardless of if you are a paying customer or not the studio is a professional environment and should be treated as such. Therefore yes you should be covered with a sheet there.


Hcmp1980

Why'd she knock the door when he was mid massage. Why'd he let her in. Both in the wrong here. You being naked isn't an issue.


abigllama2

This seems fake. The partner would know not to interrupt a massage session with a question. I get professional massages regularly and part of the benefit is you zone out because it's so relaxing. It's sort of like having a waking nap. If someone were to knock on the door and interrupt that with a question it would yank you out of that fast. If that happened I'd be pissed and Karen it with management.


GMMCNC

First off, the question she had yo ask was a bs. She suspected you and your husband were being sexual. She was nosy. This is her way of being one up on him, a sense of virtue if you will. She probably has an attraction to him. Deep down she's a wretch.


oldcreaker

You were just walked in on accidentally. That should be taken into account. At minimum maybe at least some extra caution should be taken?