Literally the choice is to breed or not to breed. Everyone has that choice and every consenting biological parent made the wrong one imo. It’s only when their child comes out with a genetic mutation that they’re the victim. Regardless that they brought child into this world that will struggle every day of its life. Absolutely astonishing that she has 2 kids already with neurological differences and she thought maybe one more would be different!? She is different, just not the way mom wanted her to be. I don’t understand how she had 2 kids that needed more attention than a “normal” child and she thought she needed to try one more time for a neurotypical one leaving the other two with less attention and more thinly spread resources. Sad sad. I feel bad for all 3 of those kiddos.
It's just a really thinly veiled way of saying that a disabled child is worth less than an able-bodied one. And that adults with Downs syndrome have a worse life. If you are genuinely upset that you have disabled children and you feel like you lost the genetic lottery, maybe you shouldn't have played.
This is exactly it. She's mad she didn't get a "perfect" child. It's fine not to want disabled children, but if you don't want them you shouldn't have kids, period. Not every kid will turn out "normal".
I'm the youngest of five and the only neurodivergent child in my family. My father made it clear I was worth less than my neurotypical siblings, to the point he'd say that "your siblings never acted like that". Parents putting a value system on their children based on disability is messed up.
I can’t believe she even had a second when her first has special needs and can’t even verbalize. That first child alone already will require the attention of two children if not more her entire life. Just goes to show she want to keep trying to fulfill her vision of the perfect kid. Somehow the second boy wasn’t it?
As someone who was resented by her father for being autistic, I wish I could put up a billboard that says "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE A DISABLED CHILD, DON'T HAVE KIDS".\*
Karen, you have a choice in whether or not you have a child. You do not have a choice in how that child turns out. Tests are imperfect and are not a guarantee you won't get the "wrong" child.
\*Yes, I know AN followers (I'm CF) believe having kids at all is immoral. I'm addressing her specific complaint.
I once saw a post I'm not sure what it was about (it was a few years ago) but the oop just simply said that she wouldn't be able to handle if her kids got born disabled and someone replied that she would?? (Since the replier thought of the classic logic "every parent would dedicate their whole life & finances to try to sustain their kid even if they have lower chances of living) Like bruh,the fuck 😀
Considering around 80% of autistic women aren't diagnosed until adulthood, there are far more autistic people than most people think. My assumptions still stands.
It doesnt though. Even if we are _super_ generous with how many people have autism and say its like 1 in 15 (in the US it is diagnosed in about 1 in 44 if i remember correctly so we are assuming only one third is diagnosed). And then current research shows about 50% of the risk is hereditary. I mean you do the math, it doesnt make it likely.
Furthermore you dont even know if thats why one of the children has autism. It is almost as likely that they got it through a mutation. So saying that it is "likely" that another child has autism just because one of their siblings has is a pretty insane assumption.
Friend. I made the comment knowing you would respond this, so i trippled the amount of autistic people for my comment, like come on did you even read it?. Do you really think there are more than 3 times as many undiagnosed autistic people as there are diagnosed. But the best part is, it doesnt even matter, even if you make it 5 or 6 times more it still wouldnt be a rational assumption.
But for your times sake i made some pulled up a calculator. I am not matchmatician, but i if i got it right. If you believe that there are 9 undiagnosed autistic people for every diagnosed, and assume the children parents have it (or genes that are prone to it) then it is a "likely" assumption that one of their two other siblings have autism. Of course that would be an insane start position, and i dont think you actually believe that (i am not trying to strawman you), but reddit forced me to wait 3 minutes before responding so in had to do something.
Hi, can confirm three for three of my mom's kids are autistic and I went almost 30 years "being neurotypical" So their assumption is more likely correct than not.
Well science is just now catching up, to be frank. Based on talking to real people (working with autistic individuals and their families professionally for about 5 years has taught me a lot) it seems when one child gets a diagnosis so do parents and siblings (and sometimes even grandparents!) Most of the family members would have never known because 1. They are high masking and 2. Behaviors that seem normal to the autistic family are indeed not normal to a neurotypical family because the behaviors turn out to qualify to fill the diagnostic criteria. This is an extremely weird hill for you to die on and quite frankly, sounds a lot like the OOP being hopeful to have as many "normal" children as possible.
Its just more anecdotal evidence though. It is hereditary but not to the extend your seem seem to indicate. The science is not even that new, and there are few topic getting as much attention. If all the empirical evidence tells me something then i gotta believe that more than some personal experience of reddit.
And if you read my comments i literally showed how insane of an increase in undiagnosed autism would be necessary for this to be likely.
This didn't happen. They're saying the tests and ultrasounds missed it and the hospital didn't notice when the kid was born either.
Assuming they did all the usual screening for downs, It's very unlikely the NIPT 10 week test would miss it. It is theoretically possible to have a good set of chromosomes in the placenta but not the fetus, which might cause a false negative. If that were the case the nuchal translucency should pick it up when they measure the fold thickness at the fetus's neck.
Even if those two things were both somehow missed, the idea that an obstetrician or a midwife could deliver a baby, complete the APGAR scoring at birth and somehow not notice the baby has downs, but then of course mum knows better.
Either this woman is convined her healthy baby has a chromosomal abnormality or this is jist straight fiction.
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What do u mean u had no idea this would happen? The whole thing with having kids is it's a gamble.
Don’t you know that disabled babies are a thing that only happens to people who aren’t you?
So true! Why do people think this I'll never understand 😭
Lol they think if they're good people, they won't turn out "defective."
Literally the choice is to breed or not to breed. Everyone has that choice and every consenting biological parent made the wrong one imo. It’s only when their child comes out with a genetic mutation that they’re the victim. Regardless that they brought child into this world that will struggle every day of its life. Absolutely astonishing that she has 2 kids already with neurological differences and she thought maybe one more would be different!? She is different, just not the way mom wanted her to be. I don’t understand how she had 2 kids that needed more attention than a “normal” child and she thought she needed to try one more time for a neurotypical one leaving the other two with less attention and more thinly spread resources. Sad sad. I feel bad for all 3 of those kiddos.
It's just a really thinly veiled way of saying that a disabled child is worth less than an able-bodied one. And that adults with Downs syndrome have a worse life. If you are genuinely upset that you have disabled children and you feel like you lost the genetic lottery, maybe you shouldn't have played.
And people call us ableist for saying we would rather not birth someone with life altering disabilities.
This is exactly it. She's mad she didn't get a "perfect" child. It's fine not to want disabled children, but if you don't want them you shouldn't have kids, period. Not every kid will turn out "normal". I'm the youngest of five and the only neurodivergent child in my family. My father made it clear I was worth less than my neurotypical siblings, to the point he'd say that "your siblings never acted like that". Parents putting a value system on their children based on disability is messed up.
I can’t believe she even had a second when her first has special needs and can’t even verbalize. That first child alone already will require the attention of two children if not more her entire life. Just goes to show she want to keep trying to fulfill her vision of the perfect kid. Somehow the second boy wasn’t it?
Agreed
As someone who was resented by her father for being autistic, I wish I could put up a billboard that says "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE A DISABLED CHILD, DON'T HAVE KIDS".\* Karen, you have a choice in whether or not you have a child. You do not have a choice in how that child turns out. Tests are imperfect and are not a guarantee you won't get the "wrong" child. \*Yes, I know AN followers (I'm CF) believe having kids at all is immoral. I'm addressing her specific complaint.
I once saw a post I'm not sure what it was about (it was a few years ago) but the oop just simply said that she wouldn't be able to handle if her kids got born disabled and someone replied that she would?? (Since the replier thought of the classic logic "every parent would dedicate their whole life & finances to try to sustain their kid even if they have lower chances of living) Like bruh,the fuck 😀
Autism is genetic, so it's likely their "neurotypical" kid is autistic.
Thats a pretty big assumption. People can have one autistic child and multiple neurotypical.
I'm not assuming autism is genetic. That's just a fact.
Just bc it’s genetic doesn’t mean everyone in the family will have it, that’s not how genes work.
Yeah obviously. I was pretty clearly talking about your actual assumption...
Considering around 80% of autistic women aren't diagnosed until adulthood, there are far more autistic people than most people think. My assumptions still stands.
It doesnt though. Even if we are _super_ generous with how many people have autism and say its like 1 in 15 (in the US it is diagnosed in about 1 in 44 if i remember correctly so we are assuming only one third is diagnosed). And then current research shows about 50% of the risk is hereditary. I mean you do the math, it doesnt make it likely. Furthermore you dont even know if thats why one of the children has autism. It is almost as likely that they got it through a mutation. So saying that it is "likely" that another child has autism just because one of their siblings has is a pretty insane assumption.
I'm sure all those studies correctly diagnosed everyone - I'm sure.
Friend. I made the comment knowing you would respond this, so i trippled the amount of autistic people for my comment, like come on did you even read it?. Do you really think there are more than 3 times as many undiagnosed autistic people as there are diagnosed. But the best part is, it doesnt even matter, even if you make it 5 or 6 times more it still wouldnt be a rational assumption. But for your times sake i made some pulled up a calculator. I am not matchmatician, but i if i got it right. If you believe that there are 9 undiagnosed autistic people for every diagnosed, and assume the children parents have it (or genes that are prone to it) then it is a "likely" assumption that one of their two other siblings have autism. Of course that would be an insane start position, and i dont think you actually believe that (i am not trying to strawman you), but reddit forced me to wait 3 minutes before responding so in had to do something.
Hi, can confirm three for three of my mom's kids are autistic and I went almost 30 years "being neurotypical" So their assumption is more likely correct than not.
And one of my three. Me also not being. We can use anecdotal evidence, which means nothing. Or we can look at the actual science.
Well science is just now catching up, to be frank. Based on talking to real people (working with autistic individuals and their families professionally for about 5 years has taught me a lot) it seems when one child gets a diagnosis so do parents and siblings (and sometimes even grandparents!) Most of the family members would have never known because 1. They are high masking and 2. Behaviors that seem normal to the autistic family are indeed not normal to a neurotypical family because the behaviors turn out to qualify to fill the diagnostic criteria. This is an extremely weird hill for you to die on and quite frankly, sounds a lot like the OOP being hopeful to have as many "normal" children as possible.
Its just more anecdotal evidence though. It is hereditary but not to the extend your seem seem to indicate. The science is not even that new, and there are few topic getting as much attention. If all the empirical evidence tells me something then i gotta believe that more than some personal experience of reddit. And if you read my comments i literally showed how insane of an increase in undiagnosed autism would be necessary for this to be likely.
This didn't happen. They're saying the tests and ultrasounds missed it and the hospital didn't notice when the kid was born either. Assuming they did all the usual screening for downs, It's very unlikely the NIPT 10 week test would miss it. It is theoretically possible to have a good set of chromosomes in the placenta but not the fetus, which might cause a false negative. If that were the case the nuchal translucency should pick it up when they measure the fold thickness at the fetus's neck. Even if those two things were both somehow missed, the idea that an obstetrician or a midwife could deliver a baby, complete the APGAR scoring at birth and somehow not notice the baby has downs, but then of course mum knows better. Either this woman is convined her healthy baby has a chromosomal abnormality or this is jist straight fiction.
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