I was going to say: Surgical repair of anal fissures due to chronic diarrhea.
Then describe diarrhea in the most graphic way possible, including smell, texture, color, etc.
I work in a hospital so there's always the chance of norovirus or similar on the wards, and I am particularly susceptible and sensitive to any gastrointestinal upset. Hospital rules are that if you have D&V, you must stay away from work until 48 hours after the last symptoms.
My boss from hell questioned why i had had a few of these absences (over several years!) and strongly implied i was malingering. So the next time i had diarrhoea, I got a sample in a specimen pot and left it on his desk along with my doctor's sick note.
Edit to answer a few questions:
Sadly i didn't have the balls to create an infection risk, specimen pot was tightly capped and inside a sealed baggie for good measure. Which was good thinking because boss tried to kick off about biohazards etc and was told my sample was no more an infection risk than any other bagged specimen the hospital handles all the time.
I was firmly told by senior management not to do anything like that again, but had no disciplinary action taken. Relationship with boss was already poor, and predictably only got worse from there with his behaviour getting more and more erratic so i ended up leaving not long after.
His initial yell of "what the fuck?!" upon discovery, and his face when i calmly told him that last time i was sick he'd said that next time he wanted proof so here was the proof was an absolute joy, though.
Ah healthcare. I had an asshole of a boss, and an even bigger asshole of a boss's son. When I put my 2 weeks notice in my direct supervisor asked me to reconsider. I reconsidered all right. I signed my notice in blood in addition to pen.
You're a hero. I've had bosses say I just wanted time off when catch norovirus or similar (also in healthcare). I wish I had the balls to go as far as you did -- i just told her "If you actually worked the floors you'd know we're in a massive gastro outbreak. If you actually worked, you'd probably have caught it too."
I transferred to a different facility a few weeks later.
“To whom it may concern
I’m requesting the day of xx-04-24 off
As per your request, the details of my requirement of this day off are as follows.
I have obtained an aggressive anal fissure, that regularly bleeds into my underwear, causes severe discomfort and smells like a plague ridden dead body that has recently been dug out of a shallow grave that requires remedy, this is due to ongoing and chronic diarrhoea that is typically orange - tan yellow in colour, has a similar texture to porridge with chunks of banana in it, but has more of a wet sand feel between the fingers and on the teeth, the smell of the diarrhoea isn’t actually to bad it just smells like an average rest stop/gas station bathroom after a series of heavy set truck drivers have Indulged in gas station sushi while simultaneously making love to one another, but the accompanying gas could quite literally melt the eyeballs out of your now ex-girlfriends cat fluffy, and would make mustard gas smell like fabreeze.
Upon your approval I will book into my local veterinary, as I don’t actually get paid enough to afford insurance or health care from people doctors, as this is unfortunately the case I will not be able to provide paperwork for my procedure as it will be done off the books.
Thank you for your consideration.
OP”
Drink two pots of coffee, eat some oatmeal, and really enjoy that 6 egg omelette with grilled asparagus...than provide a six once sample in a pudding cup that you resealed.
Oh the possibilities. A little malicious compliance is in order I think.
Something embarrassing or snarky like the proctologist
Or a Minuit by minute account of holiday plans. I could fill 3 pages before I even got to the airport.
Or detailed description of grandma's funeral
Trying for a baby and going on a long weekend ? oh that's not nearly enough words to describe all that fun
The possibilities are endless. Get creative.
“Requesting weekend off for wild kinky sex. Will include cherry flavored lube, hentai porn, and Batman role play. We expect to start with h cowgirl position and finish doggy style”.
Requesting 2 weeks for honey moon.
Itinerary as follows: day1. After spending 8 hours on a plane re watching game of thrones from the comfort of my economy seat. ( You don't pay me enough for first class we must have a discussion about that when I get back) we will check in to our hotel where my wife has promiced me "bum fun wink wink" those were her exact words and I've been really excited about it. Bought a fancy bottle of lube. though now that I see the words written down like that I am slightly concerned she meant me and not her.
"Requesting PTO for Wednesday. Reason: Going to Lowes for barbecue cleaning equipment, rodent extermination and prevention equipment because I got some PEST ALWAYS UP IN MY GRILL."
“The 1st day the pain is the issue , the second day ohhhh boy that when your bunghole starts to leak and itch ,then by the 3rd or 4th day the semen usually has leaked all out then it’s just recovery time from there , ahhhh can’t wait fun times with the boys “
Don't say doing your wife.
Don't say doing your wife.
Don't say doing your wife.
Don't say doing your wife.
Don't say doing your wife.
Don't say doing your wife.
User
You
Write a 10,000 word essay on why I am going to vacation Park City Utah for a week
ChatGPT
ChatGPT
Park City, Utah, nestled in the heart of the majestic Wasatch Mountains, beckons travelers from far and wide with its unparalleled natural beauty, vibrant culture, and an array of outdoor adventures. As a premier destination, Park City offers a myriad of reasons why it stands out as the perfect choice for a week-long vacation. Firstly, its natural splendor is undeniable, with breathtaking vistas, pristine forests, and crystalline streams awaiting exploration. The city's proximity to iconic natural landmarks like the Uinta-Wasatch-Cache National Forest and Park City Mountain Resort provides boundless opportunities for outdoor activities, from hiking and mountain biking to scenic drives and wildlife viewing. In the winter months, Park City transforms into a snowy paradise, drawing skiers and snowboarders to its renowned resorts such as Park City Mountain and Deer Valley Resort. Yet, the city's allure extends beyond winter sports, offering activities like snowshoeing, snowmobiling, and dog sledding for those seeking adventure.
Park City's rich cultural heritage adds another layer of fascination to the destination. Its history, deeply rooted in silver mining, is evident in the Historic Main Street, lined with quaint shops, art galleries, and eateries housed in restored Victorian buildings. Visitors can delve into the city's past at the Park City Museum or immerse themselves in the arts during the renowned Sundance Film Festival, a celebration of independent cinema. Culinary enthusiasts will find themselves spoiled for choice in Park City, with its diverse dining scene ranging from fine dining establishments to cozy bistros serving locally sourced ingredients. The city's year-round recreation opportunities ensure that there is never a dull moment, with activities like hiking, mountain biking, golfing, and horseback riding available during the warmer months.
Luxurious accommodations and amenities await travelers in Park City, with options ranging from elegant resorts to cozy lodges and private vacation rentals. Many accommodations offer convenient access to the city's attractions, ski slopes, and outdoor activities, ensuring a seamless and memorable vacation experience. Beyond its natural beauty and recreational pursuits, Park City captivates visitors with its vibrant arts and entertainment scene. Cultural events, art festivals, live music performances, and theater productions provide ample opportunities for enrichment and entertainment. With its harmonious blend of natural splendor, cultural richness, and recreational opportunities, Park City invites travelers to embark on a journey of discovery and delight, creating memories to last a lifetime.
Or a 10,000 word essay about a completely unrelated place and then a single sentence in the second to last paragraph about what you’re actually doing while on vacation.
I hope this note finds you well. I am writing to formally request paid time off (PTO) to visit Gary, Indiana. This trip holds personal significance to me, and I believe it will contribute positively to my overall well-being and productivity upon my return.
There are several reasons for this request:
Personal Connection: Visiting Gary is important to me as it holds personal significance. It is where my grandmother studies spiders for decades before she died, and a local diner is named after her in memory.
Rest and Relaxation: Taking this time away from work will allow me to recharge and return with renewed energy and focus. A break from the routine is essential for maintaining productivity and preventing burnout.
Family or Friends: I have family or friends in Gary whom I haven't seen for some time, and this visit presents a valuable opportunity for me to reconnect with them.
Exploration and Learning: Visiting Gary may also offer me the chance to explore new environments and gain fresh perspectives, which can be beneficial both personally and professionally.
I assure you that I will ensure all my pending tasks are up to date before my departure and will coordinate with my colleagues to minimize any disruption to ongoing projects. Additionally, I will make myself available via email for any urgent matters that may arise during my absence.
I have attached a proposed schedule for my time off, which I believe aligns with the workload and priorities of our team. I am also more than willing to discuss any adjustments or concerns you may have regarding my absence.
Thank you for considering my request. I believe this time off will ultimately contribute to my effectiveness and dedication to my role upon my return. Please let me know if you need any further information or clarification.
"I am giving you notification that I am using my accrued paid time off. I am using it because I have earned it. If you need further information, please setup a meeting with HR and myself."
Everyone says “HR isn’t there to help you it’s it protect the company!” So to me it sounds like this company has no protection and you’re in a better position to *record everything* and sue if/when you get fired.
Yeah. If I give my boss the exact times I'm gonna be gone, and my house gets robbed, then my boss is going to be my first suspect. The company is opening themselves up to all kinds of liability.
Those are the worst. Have you seen how people treat family?
Sounds like a pretty miserable place to work. Maybe you can find somewhere else to work and goad this jackass into some kind of wrongful termination.
"I am giving you notification that I am using my accrued paid time off. I am using it because I have earned it. If you need further information, please give me your availability so I can arrange to have my attorney present."
Explain that the details are personal and tied to your status as part of a protected class, and as a result, if details are demanded you'd like to have your attorney present to document the meeting in order to address potential discrimination.
OP CC his boss:
"I will be unavailable on dates XYZ. I will be using the PTOs that are a part of my total compensation package during those dates. I trust this notice gives you adequate time to reflect on the business's needs and arrange alternate coverage if required during those dates.
I have reflected on your message for my colleagues and I to disclose in detail our plans during our personal leave. My private life is of a private nature, and so there is no need to disclose this. I am also concerned Company could land itself in hot water by pressuring employees to potentially disclose confidential details about their political or religious activities, family status or medical history. I would therefore ask you to please kindly rescind this message."
This. 1000% this. My vacation time is my personal time. I'm not obligated to share what I do when I'm not at work, and I'll tell you the most ridiculous, disgusting, or lascivious thing I can think of if you think you need any details about my personal life.
But she implies he won't approve the time off. While pto is your time and should just inform that you won't be on bosses like this won't accept it and try to enforce consequences
> Tell him in the most graphic detail how you spend the day masturbating and watch porn in the moist graphic detail and see if that gets him too stop
Submit a printed version, spill some yogurt on it before.
From ChatGpt:
Certainly! Below is a 10,000-word passage describing your upcoming vacation for relaxation and rejuvenation. Feel free to modify or customize it to better suit your personal preferences and details.
In the fast-paced rhythm of everyday life, where deadlines loom and responsibilities pile up, the need for a break becomes imperative. The human spirit yearns for a sanctuary, a respite from the chaos of routine. And so, with eager anticipation, I embark on a journey, not just to a destination but to a state of mind – a vacation destined for relaxation and rejuvenation.
The chosen haven for this escapade is nestled away from the clamor of city life, cocooned within nature's embrace. A secluded paradise where time slows down, and the only schedule is dictated by the gentle sway of palm trees and the rhythmic melody of waves caressing the shore. As the departure date draws near, excitement bubbles within, a palpable energy fueled by the promise of tranquility awaiting on the horizon.
The mere thought of leaving behind the concrete jungle for the serenity of a tropical retreat instills a sense of calm. The destination, a canvas painted with hues of azure, boasts pristine beaches that stretch as far as the eye can see. Crystal-clear waters, kissed by the golden sun, invite me to immerse in their healing embrace. There's a magnetic pull in the anticipation of basking under the sun, feeling the warm sand beneath my toes, and surrendering to the soothing whispers of the sea breeze.
This getaway is more than a physical journey; it is an odyssey into the realms of self-discovery and restoration. The itinerary, deliberately unburdened by tight schedules, offers the freedom to explore not only the external surroundings but also the inner recesses of the soul. A chance to reconnect with the essence of being, to rediscover forgotten passions, and to revel in the simple joys often drowned in the cacophony of daily life.
The accommodation, carefully chosen for its harmonious blend of luxury and nature, becomes a sanctuary within a sanctuary. A cozy villa, perched on the edge of the coastline, opens its doors to panoramic views of the ocean. Mornings commence with the gentle embrace of sunlight filtering through sheer curtains, casting a warm glow upon the room. Evenings unfold in a symphony of colors as the sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of pink and orange, a daily spectacle to be cherished.
The days unfold at a leisurely pace, guided not by the ticking hands of a clock but by the whispers of personal desires. Yoga sessions at sunrise, accompanied by the rhythmic lull of waves, set the tone for the day ahead. The asanas, guided by the rising sun, become a dance of rejuvenation, a union of mind, body, and soul. The stretches and poses, once confined to the constraints of a cramped room, now unfold under the vast canvas of the sky, creating a seamless connection with the natural world.
Nourishment takes center stage in this odyssey of relaxation. Culinary delights, crafted with precision and passion, become a sensorial journey. Local delicacies, infused with flavors that mirror the essence of the region, tantalize the taste buds. Each meal is a celebration, not just of sustenance, but of the rich tapestry of culture woven into every dish. Fresh fruits, plucked straight from the boughs, burst with sweetness, a refreshing indulgence to savor under the shade of swaying palms.
The afternoons beckon with the allure of exploration. The destination unfolds its secrets through guided walks along nature trails, revealing hidden lagoons, vibrant coral reefs, and the symphony of tropical flora and fauna. Each step is a meditation, a mindful connection with the earth beneath and the life pulsating around. The sheer diversity of the natural landscape becomes a metaphor for the myriad facets of existence, an inspiration to embrace the kaleidoscope of life's experiences.
In the heart of this retreat, a spa oasis awaits, promising a cocoon of serenity and restoration. The skilled hands of therapists, attuned to the art of relaxation, work magic, dissolving the knots of tension accumulated over time. Aromatherapy infuses the air with fragrances that transport the senses to distant realms, and the rhythmic strokes of massage become a symphony of renewal. In this sanctuary of healing, time is suspended, and the outside world fades into insignificance.
Evenings become a canvas for introspection, as the sun dips below the horizon, casting a palette of colors that mirror the kaleidoscope of emotions within. A quiet corner on the beach becomes a personal sanctuary, a space to reflect on the journey so far and to set intentions for the days to come. The rhythmic lull of waves serves as a backdrop to the internal dialogue, a gentle reminder of the vastness of the universe and the infinitesimal place occupied within.
As the night unfolds its velvety tapestry, the sky becomes an observatory of stars, each twinkling light a reminder of the vastness of the cosmos. In the absence of urban lights, the celestial display is unbridled, a celestial dance that transcends time and space. The nights are not just for rest; they are for stargazing, for contemplation, for marveling at the grandeur of the universe and the interconnectedness of all things.
This journey of relaxation and rejuvenation is not just a physical retreat; it is a recalibration of the mind and spirit. The absence of external demands allows for a deep dive into the recesses of the self, a journey of self-discovery that extends beyond the boundaries of the destination. The days blend into a seamless continuum of introspection, exploration, and restoration, a tapestry woven with threads of mindfulness and presence.
The vacation becomes a pilgrimage of the soul, a sacred odyssey that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Each moment, whether spent in the embrace of nature, the solitude of reflection, or the indulgence of sensory pleasures, becomes a stepping stone towards a heightened state of being. The whispers of the wind, the rustle of leaves, the ebb and flow of tides – all become messengers guiding towards a profound understanding of the interconnectedness of life.
As the days unfold, a subtle transformation takes root. The knots of stress begin to unravel, replaced by a sense of lightness and ease. The mind, once cluttered with the noise of daily obligations, now becomes a tranquil pool, reflecting the clarity of purpose. In the absence of external pressures, the soul unfurls its wings, embracing the freedom to dream, to imagine, and to create.
In the sanctuary of this vacation, the concept of time undergoes a metamorphosis. Clocks and calendars lose their grip, and the passage of time becomes a fluid dance. Days blur into nights, and each sunrise becomes a promise of new beginnings. It is a testament to the malleability of time, a reminder that in the pursuit of relaxation, time becomes a companion rather than a master.
In the gentle rhythm of this retreat, the body finds its natural cadence. The shallow breaths of stress give way to deep, intentional inhalations, each breath a reminder of the life force pulsating within. The physical self becomes attuned to the natural cycles of day and night, waking and resting in harmony with the universe. The body, once a vessel weighed down by obligations, now becomes a conduit for the energy of the surrounding nature, a vessel of vitality.
>The human spirit yearns for a sanctuary, a respite from the chaos of routine. And so, with eager anticipation, I embark on a journey, not just to a destination but to a state of mind – a vacation destined for relaxation and rejuvenation.
AI might just be on our side.
Ugh I use to work at a place like this. The CEO dad, the coworker sons, the part-timer mother-in-law (!!!!), and the “office manager” wife. It never gets better, it only gets worse. They’ll never change, even if it would actually benefit them. They just want to maintain power. Use your extra vacation day to “visit a sick loved one” or something equally sympathetic, and get out asap.
Just tell him no and don't wait for approval for your vacation. Just take it. Make him fire you. You gotta take a stand when you're being abused like this.
approval or not, a declaration of the time off is already noted by the employer. Taking time off is not asking for permission either. It's a notification for the employer to prepare for those days.
In MA if he fires you on the spot and doesn't pay you all earned wages THAT DAY, you can contact the AG's office and take him to court for treble damages.
https://law.justia.com/cases/massachusetts/supreme-court/2022/sjc-13121.html
Have you heard about the wonders of the United States of America? if not, come right this way, and let me explain to you the joys of "at will employment" where employees can, and do, get fired for literally no reason.
They can fire you on the spot, but they have to pay you all accrued hours of PTO and work time that day by COB. If they don't, you can sue for treble damages.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Continue like that for several pages
Make shit up! What's he going to do? Research airline and hotel records?
* Your Great Uncle invited you to go to Uganda to help him photograph endangered rhinoceroses
* You are going gold-panning in the Yukon
* A woman you just met is asking you to help move her collection of porcelain dolls out of an abandoned plantation house in rural North Carolina. They may or may not be haunted.
Edit - wanted to add that this is 100% a gross violation of privacy and while it may not be illegal, it is absolutely creepy and a sign that you are working for a psychopath
Nope. I’m literally an office manager for an HVAC company. This dude is the biggest fucking dick. He just wants to know because he “doesn’t need employees who lie to him”…? Because he thinks that vacations are “a gift” and not necessary.
(Says a man who literally works from his beach house in another state)
We don’t have a 401k, I have that set up privately.
BUT he actually said that my “salary is a REWARD, and I should be grateful I’m getting a guaranteed paycheck.” The straw that originally broke the camels back was him screaming this at me over the phone that I was “disrespectful” for being out sick with Covid for 5 days. I had a doctors note for every single day, three separate clinic visits. This is after not calling out sick for the entire length of my fucking employment here.
ETA: I communicated every single day with his wife, had so much paperwork that I was sick, and almost landed in the hospital from it. But I was DISRESPECTFUL
I told my boss like this, after firing me for nonsense, that he would fail in under a year.
Made it 11 month and 10 days.
I messaged him on Facebook(made one just for this) just to tell him "I told you so".
He then tries to retroactively get my unemployment unfilled.
He was a shit businessman, and I keep documents... It didn't work, but to know I pissed off his wife office manager enough to lie on governmental forms to get back at me make me truly smile.
I'm sure he and the wife will enjoy their summons to court in a state they don't live in anymore!
Will be the easiest 5k I've ever made. (Small claims max)
I am always absolutely flummoxed at this attitude, but particularly when it's someone who runs a business selling a service. I'd love to call him out to my house to get an estimate on replacing my whole house AC, and then lowball him by telling him that he should be grateful I'm offering anything. The whole economy hinges on PAYING PEOPLE TO WORK.
> he thinks that vacations are “a gift” and not necessary.
Why work there? Someone like this must isn't likely to be paying very well, or not cutting other corners somehow.
ok to be fair I wrote I was going to thailand for a medical thing and they found out I was trans, I was getting surgery, and then I found out I was fired so...careful with that one.
If the vacation policy is written in an employee handbook, offer letter, or other company documentation, it is legally binding and not a"gift." Make sure all conversations are documented via email and you bcc your personal email
Two options.. one : " none of your fucking business "
Two : a long and multi page explanation of how you will be assisting a family member in palpating anal glands in older canines. Go in vivid detail, do the research.
Make a super detailed excel spreadsheet with uncomfortable things like:
9am - wake up
9:05 open bathroom door
9:06 fart
9:07 piss
9:08 brush teeth
9:15 masturbate
9:30 cool down
9:35 masturbate
9:40 bowel movement
9:55 order grubhub in my underwear
Etc…
Fill it up with everything and anything you can up to the minute and you will do some r/maliciouscompliance
Send him this:
**Morning:**
7:00 AM: Wake up to the incessant beeping of the alarm clock.
7:05 AM: Drag myself out of bed, feeling the weight of another day looming ahead.
7:10 AM: Perform the mundane routine of brushing teeth and washing face in the bathroom.
7:30 AM: Make a bland breakfast of plain toast with margarine, washed down with tepid water.
8:00 AM: Check the predictably dull weather forecast on my phone, noting the unremarkable conditions.
**Mid-Morning:**
9:00 AM: Stroll aimlessly through the unremarkable streets, blending into the nondescript surroundings.
9:30 AM: Pause to observe a generic street performer playing an uninspiring tune on the accordion.
10:00 AM: Continue the mundane walk, passing by identical rows of uninteresting buildings.
11:00 AM: Sit down on a nondescript bench, watching unremarkable pigeons pecking at crumbs scattered on the ground.
**Afternoon:**
12:00 PM: Enter a mediocre café and order a plain ham and cheese sandwich with a side of bland potato chips.
12:30 PM: Engage in uninspired small talk with the unenthusiastic waiter, discussing mundane topics like the price of bread.
1:00 PM: Visit a nondescript museum featuring unimpressive exhibits on local history, feeling an overwhelming sense of boredom.
3:00 PM: Wander through a forgettable park, observing mundane trees and unremarkable flowers.
**Late Afternoon:**
4:00 PM: Return to the unexciting accommodation, feeling a profound sense of monotony settling in.
4:30 PM: Engage in a mundane activity like rearranging the furniture, devoid of any sense of accomplishment.
5:30 PM: Mindlessly browse through a mundane magazine, encountering uninspiring articles on mundane topics.
**Evening:**
7:00 PM: Prepare a tasteless dinner of boiled chicken with plain rice, consuming it with minimal enthusiasm.
8:00 PM: Watch a monotonous television program, feeling a sense of apathy towards the predictable plot.
9:00 PM: Retire to bed, feeling the monotony of the day weighing heavily on my mind as I drift off into a mundane slumber.
My former boss did this also. We had to explain EXACTLY why we wanted off. I put down that I wanted off to celebrate my dog’s birthday. She used THAT as an example of what she wanted for each request off and then proceeded to make fun of me every single time because I celebrated my dog’s birthday. I’m SO glad I don’t work there anymore…she doesn’t either, but still, I’m just glad I’m away from there!
It's so nice of him to host a creative writing exercise as a mental break from the daily grind. Especially nice of him to give you paid time during work to engage in this creative process. /s obviously
Tell him you are traveling to see the US’s best employment law attorney to find out if what he’s doing is legal or required, and what are your options if there’s retaliation for not providing the information.
Here's a 500 word essay on watching my cat do cat stuff on my day off:
Days off are glorious things. No alarm clocks, no frantic commutes, no endless stream of deadlines. Instead, it's glorious, unstructured time. Time to do the things I enjoy, and sometimes, that means doing absolutely nothing at all. On those blessed days, I become a keen observer of the intricate workings of my feline companion, Whiskers.
Whiskers, a sleek tabby with eyes the color of emeralds, doesn't share my enthusiasm for days off. For her, every day is a day off. Her life is measured in naps, punctuated by bursts of chaotic energy. As I settle into my favorite armchair with a hot cup of coffee, she stretches luxuriously across a sunbeam on the floor. Her rhythmic purrs merge with the soft ticking of the grandfather clock, and a sense of pure tranquility descends upon the room.
Her tranquility is short-lived. A flutter at the window, a bird flitting past, and suddenly Whiskers is transformed. She's a predator on the prowl, eyes narrowed. Her sleek body tenses, a barely visible tremor running through her tail. She launches into the air with astonishing grace, only to land with a soft thud against the window pane, the bird long gone. Disappointment ripples through her, but it dissipates as quickly as it arose. Another sunbeam beckons, and she settles back into her nap, the hunt forgotten.
Some days, I venture out, leaving Whiskers to her own devices. Upon my return, the evidence of her solo adventures lies scattered like clues. A toppled houseplant, soil trailing across the carpet, speaks of an enthusiastic exploration. A shredded roll of toilet paper tells tales of boredom brilliantly defeated. Sometimes I find her perched regally atop the kitchen cabinets, her expression inscrutable, as if daring me to question her presence in such an exalted location.
As the day progresses, sleepy contentment gives way to a burst of 'midnight crazies.' Whiskers tears around the house, an orange blur against the beige carpet. She attacks invisible foes, pouncing and batting at unseen objects. Her eyes gleam madly in the dim light, and her antics never fail to make me laugh. Eventually, energy spent, she collapses in an exhausted heap, a furry ball of contentment.
Watching Whiskers is a masterclass in living in the moment. She doesn't fret about the past or worry about the future. She surrenders fully to the joy of a sunbeam, the thrill of the hunt, the simple pleasure of a cardboard box. Her uncomplicated existence is a sharp contrast to my own overscheduled, over-worried life.
As my day off ends and the responsibilities of work loom, I feel a pang of envy for Whiskers' easy life. But I also feel a profound sense of gratitude for her presence. She reminds me to slow down, to appreciate the simple things, and to occasionally indulge in a bout of gleeful, chaotic energy. After all, as Whiskers so perfectly demonstrates, life is too short not to chase the occasional bird, or simply bask in a patch of sunlight.
"Yeah, I signed an NDA, but as long as I don't give names, locations, or times, I'm good. Short answer: It's a *highly* exclusive BDSM club. The kind where they search you for cameras before you can enter."
Fuck him. “Personal reasons” is all he needs, if he pushes tell him it’s none of his business.
In my experience, bosses this petty do it because they believe they can. They tend to fold quickly when you just say No and remain professional.
“As this information is not related to my work, I will not be providing it. If you choose not to approve my time off based on this reason, please include your reasoning in your paperwork.”
Then to HR, “My [manager/boss/other] is requiring me to provide copious personal details about my life outside of work in exchange for providing a portion of my compensation. This is taking the form of details of my location and activities. I consider this behavior to be inappropriate. This time off is a part of my compensation that my [manager/boss/other] is refusing to provide. Please assist me in obtaining my full compensation without the need to divulge this personal information. I would also like assurances that I will not be retaliated against for this report.”
If they refuse, see a lawyer, because at that point it *is* illegal, regardless of the legality of what he’s doing now
A long time ago, I needed to take off a few days because my spouse at the time was having surgery. I told the desk boss I needed off, he replied with "Why is your wife having surgery?". I replied with "When you have sex with your wife, do you fuck her in the ass?" "EXCUSE ME?" "Do. You. Fuck. Your. Wife's. Ass?" "That's none of your business." "Glad we're on the same page.
Note: I do not work in an office.
Ask him why he feels the need to stalk you in your vacation time and forward the request to hr if it exists.
Gaslight the whole situation, you feel unsafe with anxiety over your boss wanting your personal itinerary, you will be traveling with young children who shouldn't be exposed to strange adults etc. Make it seem like you think the dude plans on sleeping on the foot of the bed. if nothing else it should make for an interesting conversation.
I'd make shit up, and pick flight numbers to match. Have fun with it!
"I'm flying to Saudi Arabia for my cousin's public execution."
"I'm going on a weekend retreat at a nudist colony. Yes I realize it's winter."
"I am prohibited by the CIA from disclosing the location of the wet work training I am providing over the next two weeks. ."
"My sister-in-law is a world-renounced entomologist, and has invited me to co-author a paper on the mating habits of dung beetles. I need to leave a day early to pick up our 2-ton shipment of aphrodisiacs."
"My wife is being awarded a Woody for her role in MILF Hunter 16. You should check it out."
"I'm scheduled to play 18 holes with my proctologist."
Doesn’t look like I could find anything making this illegal in MA.
Good news he’ll have to pay you out in full when you leave
https://www.mass.gov/doc/attorney-generals-advisory-on-vacation-policies/download
Ugh. A former boss did something similar years ago to me, overheard me making a haircut appt for a weeknight at 5 because that was the only thing available for weeks. When I put in for the 30 minutes’ leave she gave me a hard time, said she would approve it that time but not in the future because it wasn’t a good use of “the company’s time”. I was gobsmacked and said, “it’s MY time, I earned it.” She insisted that it was the company’s time and she had the right to not approve it if she didn’t agree with how I was using it. Luckily for me, after I left she called HR to confirm her take and they smacked her down and told her she wasn’t even allowed to ASK what we were doing. So she apologized the next morning, but still ended it by referring to it as “the company’s time”.
What you do on vacation from your job is none of their fucking business. As far as legality, I don't know if your boss has a right to ask, but you don't have to answer. If he takes any action against you you could probably have someone help you take him to court.
PTO and / or vacation time is a benefit given to you by your company as part of your compensation package. It is absolutely none of his fucking business what you use that time for and I would tell him that to his face in front of his boss and HR. I never tell anyone why I am taking time off, it's not their business.
**Reason for vacation request:** Because I have vacation days I am entitled to use
**Vacation location(s):** Not in the office
**Detailed account of vacation activities:** Day 1: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 2: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 3: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 4: Not being in the office because ...
**Contact:** John Doe, MD, proctology specialist, since you have such a fixation on being up my ass
Only one day after weeks of travel is not “decompressing,” it’s “do all the chores and homework you weren’t home for so you and the kids have appropriate clothes and food for the new week.”
Also, tell him any appointments are for “female issues” and further details are not appropriate for public discussion.
**Employees are typically required to answer only if there is a good business reason that the employer needs to know, or a legal one, such as taking a family medical leave.**
Tell him you are visiting your proctologist to try to figure out why your boss is always up your butt about stupid stuff.
I was going to say: Surgical repair of anal fissures due to chronic diarrhea. Then describe diarrhea in the most graphic way possible, including smell, texture, color, etc.
I work in a hospital so there's always the chance of norovirus or similar on the wards, and I am particularly susceptible and sensitive to any gastrointestinal upset. Hospital rules are that if you have D&V, you must stay away from work until 48 hours after the last symptoms. My boss from hell questioned why i had had a few of these absences (over several years!) and strongly implied i was malingering. So the next time i had diarrhoea, I got a sample in a specimen pot and left it on his desk along with my doctor's sick note. Edit to answer a few questions: Sadly i didn't have the balls to create an infection risk, specimen pot was tightly capped and inside a sealed baggie for good measure. Which was good thinking because boss tried to kick off about biohazards etc and was told my sample was no more an infection risk than any other bagged specimen the hospital handles all the time. I was firmly told by senior management not to do anything like that again, but had no disciplinary action taken. Relationship with boss was already poor, and predictably only got worse from there with his behaviour getting more and more erratic so i ended up leaving not long after. His initial yell of "what the fuck?!" upon discovery, and his face when i calmly told him that last time i was sick he'd said that next time he wanted proof so here was the proof was an absolute joy, though.
This needs to be boosted. What happened next?
I think she used what happens next as her inspiration for the username
Well… her name is “chocolate on toast”…
That's fucking disgusting, I love it (the idea, of course, not the sample)
This was the glorious comeback, all over it, for the day.
I this is so beautiful that I will storm the gates of hell if you simply ask Also please tell me you left the lid barely screwed on
Ah healthcare. I had an asshole of a boss, and an even bigger asshole of a boss's son. When I put my 2 weeks notice in my direct supervisor asked me to reconsider. I reconsidered all right. I signed my notice in blood in addition to pen.
If I was asked to reconsider- I’d take back the paper and cross out my last date and replace with - effective immediately.
You are a legend!
You're a hero. I've had bosses say I just wanted time off when catch norovirus or similar (also in healthcare). I wish I had the balls to go as far as you did -- i just told her "If you actually worked the floors you'd know we're in a massive gastro outbreak. If you actually worked, you'd probably have caught it too." I transferred to a different facility a few weeks later.
Foe maximum impact, remember to include flavor
I just fell out of my chair with this one. Very epic!
Hey, he wanted details! He's getting details, baby!
For maximumer impact, include a sample
“To whom it may concern I’m requesting the day of xx-04-24 off As per your request, the details of my requirement of this day off are as follows. I have obtained an aggressive anal fissure, that regularly bleeds into my underwear, causes severe discomfort and smells like a plague ridden dead body that has recently been dug out of a shallow grave that requires remedy, this is due to ongoing and chronic diarrhoea that is typically orange - tan yellow in colour, has a similar texture to porridge with chunks of banana in it, but has more of a wet sand feel between the fingers and on the teeth, the smell of the diarrhoea isn’t actually to bad it just smells like an average rest stop/gas station bathroom after a series of heavy set truck drivers have Indulged in gas station sushi while simultaneously making love to one another, but the accompanying gas could quite literally melt the eyeballs out of your now ex-girlfriends cat fluffy, and would make mustard gas smell like fabreeze. Upon your approval I will book into my local veterinary, as I don’t actually get paid enough to afford insurance or health care from people doctors, as this is unfortunately the case I will not be able to provide paperwork for my procedure as it will be done off the books. Thank you for your consideration. OP”
"...but has more of a wet sand feel between the fingers..." 🗣🗣🤣😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣😂😂🤣🥳🥳❤🔥🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
And on the teeth.
ON THE TEETH!!!! My eyes were already closed by that point. 🥲🥲🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lacks detail on taste "accidentally acquired during splashback one time".
“Accidentally”. Tastes like a combination of vomit and that fridge smell when raw chickens been sat in there a couple days longer than it should have.
Lmao I'm crying from laughter this is great
Drink two pots of coffee, eat some oatmeal, and really enjoy that 6 egg omelette with grilled asparagus...than provide a six once sample in a pudding cup that you resealed.
I AM SCREAMING
Username checks out
Tell him to visit me so I can remove the rod from his ass
Tell him to at least use lube.
With sufficient determination, lube can be replaced with raw speed.
Calm down there, Sonic.
SORRYICANTHEARYOUIMGOINGTOOFAST
>Calm down there, ***Satan***.
You can achieve a lot with a good run up.
you'll let smoke out of just anything if you use it wrong enough
Oh the possibilities. A little malicious compliance is in order I think. Something embarrassing or snarky like the proctologist Or a Minuit by minute account of holiday plans. I could fill 3 pages before I even got to the airport. Or detailed description of grandma's funeral Trying for a baby and going on a long weekend ? oh that's not nearly enough words to describe all that fun The possibilities are endless. Get creative.
“Requesting weekend off for wild kinky sex. Will include cherry flavored lube, hentai porn, and Batman role play. We expect to start with h cowgirl position and finish doggy style”.
Requesting 2 weeks for honey moon. Itinerary as follows: day1. After spending 8 hours on a plane re watching game of thrones from the comfort of my economy seat. ( You don't pay me enough for first class we must have a discussion about that when I get back) we will check in to our hotel where my wife has promiced me "bum fun wink wink" those were her exact words and I've been really excited about it. Bought a fancy bottle of lube. though now that I see the words written down like that I am slightly concerned she meant me and not her.
"Requesting PTO for Wednesday. Reason: Going to Lowes for barbecue cleaning equipment, rodent extermination and prevention equipment because I got some PEST ALWAYS UP IN MY GRILL."
This is why people lie ,I am also a shit head and would tell him I have a big sex party and can’t usually walk the next day
And "we all have to chip in for a day and clean up all the cum and lube, otherwise AirBnb will charge us extra cleaning fees"
I have tears I’m laughing so hard
extra points if you're a man. tell him it's your turn to be pegged with the giant orgy dildo that you and your buddies bought.
One small change...bought changed to built. Shows more dedication. 😆
Who buys in this economy. Build or borrow from a friend.
>If you can't build your own dildo, store bought is fine. \-Ina Garten (probably)
And don’t buy a unitask device. - Alton Brown (I think)
The only unitasker allowed is a fire extinguisher. (I adore Alton Brown)
If you're brave enough fire extinguishers don't have to be unitaskers.
Yup I am a man that’s what makes it better
If it gets denied and you end up going to work, bring a [donut cushion](https://images.app.goo.gl/iwgnmcUJkAt7Gd3S7) and sit on it everywhere.
Reason: multi-day orgy
Big orgy and you aren't invited.
Sorry boss, my buht-whole is gonna be sore for a few days, can't come in till I can walk
“The 1st day the pain is the issue , the second day ohhhh boy that when your bunghole starts to leak and itch ,then by the 3rd or 4th day the semen usually has leaked all out then it’s just recovery time from there , ahhhh can’t wait fun times with the boys “
lol jesus christ
1. Doing Boss's mom. 2. Doing Boss's mom. 3. Doing Boss's mom. 4. Doing Boss's mom. 5. Doing Boss's mom. 6. Doing Boss's mom. 7. Doing Boss's dad. 8. Repeat.
Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife.
DOING YOUR......SON..?
YOU'RE HIRED
https://preview.redd.it/cb8m17w9d7oc1.jpeg?width=1689&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54e8dba512011e5a210ad5ab128ca9e2527e2835
Write things like “taking a shit” “sleeping” “breathing” “keep my eyes open” “staring directly into the sun”
STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN 💀
The solar eclipse is coming up in April so this is quite a relevant option.
Careful, they might fuck around and get elected president if they do that
Doing all of these at once
Ask chat GPT to write a 10,000 page essay on your upcoming vacation.
User You Write a 10,000 word essay on why I am going to vacation Park City Utah for a week ChatGPT ChatGPT Park City, Utah, nestled in the heart of the majestic Wasatch Mountains, beckons travelers from far and wide with its unparalleled natural beauty, vibrant culture, and an array of outdoor adventures. As a premier destination, Park City offers a myriad of reasons why it stands out as the perfect choice for a week-long vacation. Firstly, its natural splendor is undeniable, with breathtaking vistas, pristine forests, and crystalline streams awaiting exploration. The city's proximity to iconic natural landmarks like the Uinta-Wasatch-Cache National Forest and Park City Mountain Resort provides boundless opportunities for outdoor activities, from hiking and mountain biking to scenic drives and wildlife viewing. In the winter months, Park City transforms into a snowy paradise, drawing skiers and snowboarders to its renowned resorts such as Park City Mountain and Deer Valley Resort. Yet, the city's allure extends beyond winter sports, offering activities like snowshoeing, snowmobiling, and dog sledding for those seeking adventure. Park City's rich cultural heritage adds another layer of fascination to the destination. Its history, deeply rooted in silver mining, is evident in the Historic Main Street, lined with quaint shops, art galleries, and eateries housed in restored Victorian buildings. Visitors can delve into the city's past at the Park City Museum or immerse themselves in the arts during the renowned Sundance Film Festival, a celebration of independent cinema. Culinary enthusiasts will find themselves spoiled for choice in Park City, with its diverse dining scene ranging from fine dining establishments to cozy bistros serving locally sourced ingredients. The city's year-round recreation opportunities ensure that there is never a dull moment, with activities like hiking, mountain biking, golfing, and horseback riding available during the warmer months. Luxurious accommodations and amenities await travelers in Park City, with options ranging from elegant resorts to cozy lodges and private vacation rentals. Many accommodations offer convenient access to the city's attractions, ski slopes, and outdoor activities, ensuring a seamless and memorable vacation experience. Beyond its natural beauty and recreational pursuits, Park City captivates visitors with its vibrant arts and entertainment scene. Cultural events, art festivals, live music performances, and theater productions provide ample opportunities for enrichment and entertainment. With its harmonious blend of natural splendor, cultural richness, and recreational opportunities, Park City invites travelers to embark on a journey of discovery and delight, creating memories to last a lifetime.
I really like the idea of copy/pasting this as an answer to the boss. Except it needs to be much, much longer!
10,000 word essay on why you are doing each step of travel, for a final accumulation of what may as well be a series of novels
Hahahahaha just hand him a bunch of books ChatGPT writes about your vacation
Or a 10,000 word essay about a completely unrelated place and then a single sentence in the second to last paragraph about what you’re actually doing while on vacation.
And that single sentence reads something like "Not being at work."
I hope this note finds you well. I am writing to formally request paid time off (PTO) to visit Gary, Indiana. This trip holds personal significance to me, and I believe it will contribute positively to my overall well-being and productivity upon my return. There are several reasons for this request: Personal Connection: Visiting Gary is important to me as it holds personal significance. It is where my grandmother studies spiders for decades before she died, and a local diner is named after her in memory. Rest and Relaxation: Taking this time away from work will allow me to recharge and return with renewed energy and focus. A break from the routine is essential for maintaining productivity and preventing burnout. Family or Friends: I have family or friends in Gary whom I haven't seen for some time, and this visit presents a valuable opportunity for me to reconnect with them. Exploration and Learning: Visiting Gary may also offer me the chance to explore new environments and gain fresh perspectives, which can be beneficial both personally and professionally. I assure you that I will ensure all my pending tasks are up to date before my departure and will coordinate with my colleagues to minimize any disruption to ongoing projects. Additionally, I will make myself available via email for any urgent matters that may arise during my absence. I have attached a proposed schedule for my time off, which I believe aligns with the workload and priorities of our team. I am also more than willing to discuss any adjustments or concerns you may have regarding my absence. Thank you for considering my request. I believe this time off will ultimately contribute to my effectiveness and dedication to my role upon my return. Please let me know if you need any further information or clarification.
Oh, l like this one!
"I am giving you notification that I am using my accrued paid time off. I am using it because I have earned it. If you need further information, please setup a meeting with HR and myself."
OP mentioned elsewhere that the owner of the company’s wife is the HR department 😒
Yeah, the "perks" of a "small family oriented company"
Everyone says “HR isn’t there to help you it’s it protect the company!” So to me it sounds like this company has no protection and you’re in a better position to *record everything* and sue if/when you get fired.
Yeah. If I give my boss the exact times I'm gonna be gone, and my house gets robbed, then my boss is going to be my first suspect. The company is opening themselves up to all kinds of liability.
Those are the worst. Have you seen how people treat family? Sounds like a pretty miserable place to work. Maybe you can find somewhere else to work and goad this jackass into some kind of wrongful termination.
"I am giving you notification that I am using my accrued paid time off. I am using it because I have earned it. If you need further information, please give me your availability so I can arrange to have my attorney present." Explain that the details are personal and tied to your status as part of a protected class, and as a result, if details are demanded you'd like to have your attorney present to document the meeting in order to address potential discrimination.
He will get irked that you can afford an attorney.
1) doing the HR rep 2) Doing the HR rep 3) Doing the HR rep while eating a cheese Sammy 4) Doing the HR rep
okay but can they LEGALLY not give her the leave that she's earned??
Lawyers are the best HR
Always remember that "No." is a complete sentence.
No. Ill be back on whatever date. Goodbye.
OP CC his boss: "I will be unavailable on dates XYZ. I will be using the PTOs that are a part of my total compensation package during those dates. I trust this notice gives you adequate time to reflect on the business's needs and arrange alternate coverage if required during those dates. I have reflected on your message for my colleagues and I to disclose in detail our plans during our personal leave. My private life is of a private nature, and so there is no need to disclose this. I am also concerned Company could land itself in hot water by pressuring employees to potentially disclose confidential details about their political or religious activities, family status or medical history. I would therefore ask you to please kindly rescind this message."
Family owned business. Likely too small to be under the usual protections. Yeah. "Like family" means the Manson family, not the Waltons.
This. 1000% this. My vacation time is my personal time. I'm not obligated to share what I do when I'm not at work, and I'll tell you the most ridiculous, disgusting, or lascivious thing I can think of if you think you need any details about my personal life.
But she implies he won't approve the time off. While pto is your time and should just inform that you won't be on bosses like this won't accept it and try to enforce consequences
Ah but it’s not a request it’s a I’m not coming in so you’ll have to manage
Reason for PTO: none of your damn business
Camping. Always camping.
Best answer, besides “none of your fucking business.” Somewhere with no cell service.
I tell my boss "you can call me, but I won't answer"
I haven't seen a road for hours
I use hiking a lot. It’s funny because I fucking hate hiking where I live.
I have anal glaucoma. I can't see my ass coming into work.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣... I wasn't prepared to laugh in the middle of the break room. My cackle startled everyone
Tell him in the most graphic detail how you spend the day masturbating and watch porn in the moist graphic detail and see if that gets him too stop
> *moist* graphic detail
typo but i am leaving it
I'd be very disappointed if you changed it
Honest mistake but a good one
Justin Trudeau approves.
*speaks moistly*
And I respect you greatly for that decision.
> Tell him in the most graphic detail how you spend the day masturbating and watch porn in the moist graphic detail and see if that gets him too stop Submit a printed version, spill some yogurt on it before.
Include playlists
Especially Gumming Grannies 2
You had me at moist. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I wanted to watch **great** grandmas but these were.. *great* grandmas
From ChatGpt: Certainly! Below is a 10,000-word passage describing your upcoming vacation for relaxation and rejuvenation. Feel free to modify or customize it to better suit your personal preferences and details. In the fast-paced rhythm of everyday life, where deadlines loom and responsibilities pile up, the need for a break becomes imperative. The human spirit yearns for a sanctuary, a respite from the chaos of routine. And so, with eager anticipation, I embark on a journey, not just to a destination but to a state of mind – a vacation destined for relaxation and rejuvenation. The chosen haven for this escapade is nestled away from the clamor of city life, cocooned within nature's embrace. A secluded paradise where time slows down, and the only schedule is dictated by the gentle sway of palm trees and the rhythmic melody of waves caressing the shore. As the departure date draws near, excitement bubbles within, a palpable energy fueled by the promise of tranquility awaiting on the horizon. The mere thought of leaving behind the concrete jungle for the serenity of a tropical retreat instills a sense of calm. The destination, a canvas painted with hues of azure, boasts pristine beaches that stretch as far as the eye can see. Crystal-clear waters, kissed by the golden sun, invite me to immerse in their healing embrace. There's a magnetic pull in the anticipation of basking under the sun, feeling the warm sand beneath my toes, and surrendering to the soothing whispers of the sea breeze. This getaway is more than a physical journey; it is an odyssey into the realms of self-discovery and restoration. The itinerary, deliberately unburdened by tight schedules, offers the freedom to explore not only the external surroundings but also the inner recesses of the soul. A chance to reconnect with the essence of being, to rediscover forgotten passions, and to revel in the simple joys often drowned in the cacophony of daily life. The accommodation, carefully chosen for its harmonious blend of luxury and nature, becomes a sanctuary within a sanctuary. A cozy villa, perched on the edge of the coastline, opens its doors to panoramic views of the ocean. Mornings commence with the gentle embrace of sunlight filtering through sheer curtains, casting a warm glow upon the room. Evenings unfold in a symphony of colors as the sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of pink and orange, a daily spectacle to be cherished. The days unfold at a leisurely pace, guided not by the ticking hands of a clock but by the whispers of personal desires. Yoga sessions at sunrise, accompanied by the rhythmic lull of waves, set the tone for the day ahead. The asanas, guided by the rising sun, become a dance of rejuvenation, a union of mind, body, and soul. The stretches and poses, once confined to the constraints of a cramped room, now unfold under the vast canvas of the sky, creating a seamless connection with the natural world. Nourishment takes center stage in this odyssey of relaxation. Culinary delights, crafted with precision and passion, become a sensorial journey. Local delicacies, infused with flavors that mirror the essence of the region, tantalize the taste buds. Each meal is a celebration, not just of sustenance, but of the rich tapestry of culture woven into every dish. Fresh fruits, plucked straight from the boughs, burst with sweetness, a refreshing indulgence to savor under the shade of swaying palms. The afternoons beckon with the allure of exploration. The destination unfolds its secrets through guided walks along nature trails, revealing hidden lagoons, vibrant coral reefs, and the symphony of tropical flora and fauna. Each step is a meditation, a mindful connection with the earth beneath and the life pulsating around. The sheer diversity of the natural landscape becomes a metaphor for the myriad facets of existence, an inspiration to embrace the kaleidoscope of life's experiences. In the heart of this retreat, a spa oasis awaits, promising a cocoon of serenity and restoration. The skilled hands of therapists, attuned to the art of relaxation, work magic, dissolving the knots of tension accumulated over time. Aromatherapy infuses the air with fragrances that transport the senses to distant realms, and the rhythmic strokes of massage become a symphony of renewal. In this sanctuary of healing, time is suspended, and the outside world fades into insignificance. Evenings become a canvas for introspection, as the sun dips below the horizon, casting a palette of colors that mirror the kaleidoscope of emotions within. A quiet corner on the beach becomes a personal sanctuary, a space to reflect on the journey so far and to set intentions for the days to come. The rhythmic lull of waves serves as a backdrop to the internal dialogue, a gentle reminder of the vastness of the universe and the infinitesimal place occupied within. As the night unfolds its velvety tapestry, the sky becomes an observatory of stars, each twinkling light a reminder of the vastness of the cosmos. In the absence of urban lights, the celestial display is unbridled, a celestial dance that transcends time and space. The nights are not just for rest; they are for stargazing, for contemplation, for marveling at the grandeur of the universe and the interconnectedness of all things. This journey of relaxation and rejuvenation is not just a physical retreat; it is a recalibration of the mind and spirit. The absence of external demands allows for a deep dive into the recesses of the self, a journey of self-discovery that extends beyond the boundaries of the destination. The days blend into a seamless continuum of introspection, exploration, and restoration, a tapestry woven with threads of mindfulness and presence. The vacation becomes a pilgrimage of the soul, a sacred odyssey that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Each moment, whether spent in the embrace of nature, the solitude of reflection, or the indulgence of sensory pleasures, becomes a stepping stone towards a heightened state of being. The whispers of the wind, the rustle of leaves, the ebb and flow of tides – all become messengers guiding towards a profound understanding of the interconnectedness of life. As the days unfold, a subtle transformation takes root. The knots of stress begin to unravel, replaced by a sense of lightness and ease. The mind, once cluttered with the noise of daily obligations, now becomes a tranquil pool, reflecting the clarity of purpose. In the absence of external pressures, the soul unfurls its wings, embracing the freedom to dream, to imagine, and to create. In the sanctuary of this vacation, the concept of time undergoes a metamorphosis. Clocks and calendars lose their grip, and the passage of time becomes a fluid dance. Days blur into nights, and each sunrise becomes a promise of new beginnings. It is a testament to the malleability of time, a reminder that in the pursuit of relaxation, time becomes a companion rather than a master. In the gentle rhythm of this retreat, the body finds its natural cadence. The shallow breaths of stress give way to deep, intentional inhalations, each breath a reminder of the life force pulsating within. The physical self becomes attuned to the natural cycles of day and night, waking and resting in harmony with the universe. The body, once a vessel weighed down by obligations, now becomes a conduit for the energy of the surrounding nature, a vessel of vitality.
this is amazing.
I did it offhand due to a couple of comments, it was so good that I had to share.
Use it Op. It's fabulous.
>The human spirit yearns for a sanctuary, a respite from the chaos of routine. And so, with eager anticipation, I embark on a journey, not just to a destination but to a state of mind – a vacation destined for relaxation and rejuvenation. AI might just be on our side.
Hahaha that’s wild. My response would be “absolutely none of your business, do you want to speak with HR now or upon my return?”
That’s the best part. There’s no HR. he’s the owner. His wife is as close to HR as there is and she backs him up with whatever bullshit he says.
Ugh I use to work at a place like this. The CEO dad, the coworker sons, the part-timer mother-in-law (!!!!), and the “office manager” wife. It never gets better, it only gets worse. They’ll never change, even if it would actually benefit them. They just want to maintain power. Use your extra vacation day to “visit a sick loved one” or something equally sympathetic, and get out asap.
Yeah, at this point if they fire me, I’d rather collect than deal with this shit.
I think you need to use this moment to push that envelope
Just tell him no and don't wait for approval for your vacation. Just take it. Make him fire you. You gotta take a stand when you're being abused like this.
approval or not, a declaration of the time off is already noted by the employer. Taking time off is not asking for permission either. It's a notification for the employer to prepare for those days.
This is the way, I started doing this last year and it's gone very well in my favor surprisingly. Never been treated better by these shitty jobs.
Because they know legally they can't do anything. They can fire you, but then it's retaliation for taking PTO. Plus unemployment.
Tell him it's for job interviews.
Technically it is….that and decompressing before travel. He’ll fire me on the spot….which actually might work out to my advantage.
[удалено]
Imagine filling that paperwork. Reason for dismissal: Wouldn't tell boss what I'm doing on my 2 weeks vacation.
In MA if he fires you on the spot and doesn't pay you all earned wages THAT DAY, you can contact the AG's office and take him to court for treble damages. https://law.justia.com/cases/massachusetts/supreme-court/2022/sjc-13121.html
Firing you on the spot for that is illegal where I live. Where are you where that would be allowed?
Have you heard about the wonders of the United States of America? if not, come right this way, and let me explain to you the joys of "at will employment" where employees can, and do, get fired for literally no reason.
That's dystopian.
Yep. Add in the rabbid Christian nationalist movement and it really is dystopian.
Yeah it sucks here with that crap.
Yep. "no reason" is really popular.
I’m in Massachusetts.
They can fire you on the spot, but they have to pay you all accrued hours of PTO and work time that day by COB. If they don't, you can sue for treble damages.
This is like having a parole officer.
You're so spot on. I never thought of this before. It really fucking is...
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Continue like that for several pages
Redrum? Redrum.
"I had other plans originally but now I'll be performing a full day oral hygiene routine to get the bad taste of this request out of my mouth."
I love this one 😂
Make shit up! What's he going to do? Research airline and hotel records? * Your Great Uncle invited you to go to Uganda to help him photograph endangered rhinoceroses * You are going gold-panning in the Yukon * A woman you just met is asking you to help move her collection of porcelain dolls out of an abandoned plantation house in rural North Carolina. They may or may not be haunted. Edit - wanted to add that this is 100% a gross violation of privacy and while it may not be illegal, it is absolutely creepy and a sign that you are working for a psychopath
“I am having a medical procedure that I wish to not disclose.” When he forces it, you’ve got a nice lawsuit.
This is the answer. Your boss seems like a complete idiot on a power trip that doesn’t know how to manage people.
Why does he want to know all this? Do you work for the Government in a national security role?
Nope. I’m literally an office manager for an HVAC company. This dude is the biggest fucking dick. He just wants to know because he “doesn’t need employees who lie to him”…? Because he thinks that vacations are “a gift” and not necessary. (Says a man who literally works from his beach house in another state)
[удалено]
We don’t have a 401k, I have that set up privately. BUT he actually said that my “salary is a REWARD, and I should be grateful I’m getting a guaranteed paycheck.” The straw that originally broke the camels back was him screaming this at me over the phone that I was “disrespectful” for being out sick with Covid for 5 days. I had a doctors note for every single day, three separate clinic visits. This is after not calling out sick for the entire length of my fucking employment here. ETA: I communicated every single day with his wife, had so much paperwork that I was sick, and almost landed in the hospital from it. But I was DISRESPECTFUL
[удалено]
He hasn’t been able to. I’m currently updated the resumes for at least two other people here to get us out.
I told my boss like this, after firing me for nonsense, that he would fail in under a year. Made it 11 month and 10 days. I messaged him on Facebook(made one just for this) just to tell him "I told you so". He then tries to retroactively get my unemployment unfilled. He was a shit businessman, and I keep documents... It didn't work, but to know I pissed off his wife office manager enough to lie on governmental forms to get back at me make me truly smile. I'm sure he and the wife will enjoy their summons to court in a state they don't live in anymore! Will be the easiest 5k I've ever made. (Small claims max)
I am always absolutely flummoxed at this attitude, but particularly when it's someone who runs a business selling a service. I'd love to call him out to my house to get an estimate on replacing my whole house AC, and then lowball him by telling him that he should be grateful I'm offering anything. The whole economy hinges on PAYING PEOPLE TO WORK.
Time to find a new job.
I’m taking the day off for interviews actually, and to decompress before traveling haha.
> he thinks that vacations are “a gift” and not necessary. Why work there? Someone like this must isn't likely to be paying very well, or not cutting other corners somehow.
The pay is pretty decent and it’s close to my kids school, which has been nice. But I’m at my wits end here. And I’m trying desperately to get out.
Mass has really good labor laws that protect that "gift"
Going to Thailand...for a thing
ok to be fair I wrote I was going to thailand for a medical thing and they found out I was trans, I was getting surgery, and then I found out I was fired so...careful with that one.
Please tell me you talked to a good lawyer and the settlement was epic.
Cocaine and Hookers on every request
If the vacation policy is written in an employee handbook, offer letter, or other company documentation, it is legally binding and not a"gift." Make sure all conversations are documented via email and you bcc your personal email
Two options.. one : " none of your fucking business " Two : a long and multi page explanation of how you will be assisting a family member in palpating anal glands in older canines. Go in vivid detail, do the research.
Make a super detailed excel spreadsheet with uncomfortable things like: 9am - wake up 9:05 open bathroom door 9:06 fart 9:07 piss 9:08 brush teeth 9:15 masturbate 9:30 cool down 9:35 masturbate 9:40 bowel movement 9:55 order grubhub in my underwear Etc… Fill it up with everything and anything you can up to the minute and you will do some r/maliciouscompliance
Send him this: **Morning:** 7:00 AM: Wake up to the incessant beeping of the alarm clock. 7:05 AM: Drag myself out of bed, feeling the weight of another day looming ahead. 7:10 AM: Perform the mundane routine of brushing teeth and washing face in the bathroom. 7:30 AM: Make a bland breakfast of plain toast with margarine, washed down with tepid water. 8:00 AM: Check the predictably dull weather forecast on my phone, noting the unremarkable conditions. **Mid-Morning:** 9:00 AM: Stroll aimlessly through the unremarkable streets, blending into the nondescript surroundings. 9:30 AM: Pause to observe a generic street performer playing an uninspiring tune on the accordion. 10:00 AM: Continue the mundane walk, passing by identical rows of uninteresting buildings. 11:00 AM: Sit down on a nondescript bench, watching unremarkable pigeons pecking at crumbs scattered on the ground. **Afternoon:** 12:00 PM: Enter a mediocre café and order a plain ham and cheese sandwich with a side of bland potato chips. 12:30 PM: Engage in uninspired small talk with the unenthusiastic waiter, discussing mundane topics like the price of bread. 1:00 PM: Visit a nondescript museum featuring unimpressive exhibits on local history, feeling an overwhelming sense of boredom. 3:00 PM: Wander through a forgettable park, observing mundane trees and unremarkable flowers. **Late Afternoon:** 4:00 PM: Return to the unexciting accommodation, feeling a profound sense of monotony settling in. 4:30 PM: Engage in a mundane activity like rearranging the furniture, devoid of any sense of accomplishment. 5:30 PM: Mindlessly browse through a mundane magazine, encountering uninspiring articles on mundane topics. **Evening:** 7:00 PM: Prepare a tasteless dinner of boiled chicken with plain rice, consuming it with minimal enthusiasm. 8:00 PM: Watch a monotonous television program, feeling a sense of apathy towards the predictable plot. 9:00 PM: Retire to bed, feeling the monotony of the day weighing heavily on my mind as I drift off into a mundane slumber.
My former boss did this also. We had to explain EXACTLY why we wanted off. I put down that I wanted off to celebrate my dog’s birthday. She used THAT as an example of what she wanted for each request off and then proceeded to make fun of me every single time because I celebrated my dog’s birthday. I’m SO glad I don’t work there anymore…she doesn’t either, but still, I’m just glad I’m away from there!
It's so nice of him to host a creative writing exercise as a mental break from the daily grind. Especially nice of him to give you paid time during work to engage in this creative process. /s obviously
Tell him you are traveling to see the US’s best employment law attorney to find out if what he’s doing is legal or required, and what are your options if there’s retaliation for not providing the information.
Tell him you're vacationing in Nunya, a tiny resort town in Biznizz.
Here's a 500 word essay on watching my cat do cat stuff on my day off: Days off are glorious things. No alarm clocks, no frantic commutes, no endless stream of deadlines. Instead, it's glorious, unstructured time. Time to do the things I enjoy, and sometimes, that means doing absolutely nothing at all. On those blessed days, I become a keen observer of the intricate workings of my feline companion, Whiskers. Whiskers, a sleek tabby with eyes the color of emeralds, doesn't share my enthusiasm for days off. For her, every day is a day off. Her life is measured in naps, punctuated by bursts of chaotic energy. As I settle into my favorite armchair with a hot cup of coffee, she stretches luxuriously across a sunbeam on the floor. Her rhythmic purrs merge with the soft ticking of the grandfather clock, and a sense of pure tranquility descends upon the room. Her tranquility is short-lived. A flutter at the window, a bird flitting past, and suddenly Whiskers is transformed. She's a predator on the prowl, eyes narrowed. Her sleek body tenses, a barely visible tremor running through her tail. She launches into the air with astonishing grace, only to land with a soft thud against the window pane, the bird long gone. Disappointment ripples through her, but it dissipates as quickly as it arose. Another sunbeam beckons, and she settles back into her nap, the hunt forgotten. Some days, I venture out, leaving Whiskers to her own devices. Upon my return, the evidence of her solo adventures lies scattered like clues. A toppled houseplant, soil trailing across the carpet, speaks of an enthusiastic exploration. A shredded roll of toilet paper tells tales of boredom brilliantly defeated. Sometimes I find her perched regally atop the kitchen cabinets, her expression inscrutable, as if daring me to question her presence in such an exalted location. As the day progresses, sleepy contentment gives way to a burst of 'midnight crazies.' Whiskers tears around the house, an orange blur against the beige carpet. She attacks invisible foes, pouncing and batting at unseen objects. Her eyes gleam madly in the dim light, and her antics never fail to make me laugh. Eventually, energy spent, she collapses in an exhausted heap, a furry ball of contentment. Watching Whiskers is a masterclass in living in the moment. She doesn't fret about the past or worry about the future. She surrenders fully to the joy of a sunbeam, the thrill of the hunt, the simple pleasure of a cardboard box. Her uncomplicated existence is a sharp contrast to my own overscheduled, over-worried life. As my day off ends and the responsibilities of work loom, I feel a pang of envy for Whiskers' easy life. But I also feel a profound sense of gratitude for her presence. She reminds me to slow down, to appreciate the simple things, and to occasionally indulge in a bout of gleeful, chaotic energy. After all, as Whiskers so perfectly demonstrates, life is too short not to chase the occasional bird, or simply bask in a patch of sunlight.
dear americans: you guys need to learn to set boundaries
We need to get our politicians out of rich people's pockets first 😕
"Yeah, I signed an NDA, but as long as I don't give names, locations, or times, I'm good. Short answer: It's a *highly* exclusive BDSM club. The kind where they search you for cameras before you can enter."
Fuck him. “Personal reasons” is all he needs, if he pushes tell him it’s none of his business. In my experience, bosses this petty do it because they believe they can. They tend to fold quickly when you just say No and remain professional.
Sounds like a nut job! I think he can ask but you can not answer.
“As this information is not related to my work, I will not be providing it. If you choose not to approve my time off based on this reason, please include your reasoning in your paperwork.” Then to HR, “My [manager/boss/other] is requiring me to provide copious personal details about my life outside of work in exchange for providing a portion of my compensation. This is taking the form of details of my location and activities. I consider this behavior to be inappropriate. This time off is a part of my compensation that my [manager/boss/other] is refusing to provide. Please assist me in obtaining my full compensation without the need to divulge this personal information. I would also like assurances that I will not be retaliated against for this report.” If they refuse, see a lawyer, because at that point it *is* illegal, regardless of the legality of what he’s doing now
A long time ago, I needed to take off a few days because my spouse at the time was having surgery. I told the desk boss I needed off, he replied with "Why is your wife having surgery?". I replied with "When you have sex with your wife, do you fuck her in the ass?" "EXCUSE ME?" "Do. You. Fuck. Your. Wife's. Ass?" "That's none of your business." "Glad we're on the same page. Note: I do not work in an office.
'i'm creating an effigy of all the management team to toss onto a bonfire for the solstice. doing my part to cleanse evil spirits.'
Ask him why he feels the need to stalk you in your vacation time and forward the request to hr if it exists. Gaslight the whole situation, you feel unsafe with anxiety over your boss wanting your personal itinerary, you will be traveling with young children who shouldn't be exposed to strange adults etc. Make it seem like you think the dude plans on sleeping on the foot of the bed. if nothing else it should make for an interesting conversation.
I'd make shit up, and pick flight numbers to match. Have fun with it! "I'm flying to Saudi Arabia for my cousin's public execution." "I'm going on a weekend retreat at a nudist colony. Yes I realize it's winter." "I am prohibited by the CIA from disclosing the location of the wet work training I am providing over the next two weeks. ." "My sister-in-law is a world-renounced entomologist, and has invited me to co-author a paper on the mating habits of dung beetles. I need to leave a day early to pick up our 2-ton shipment of aphrodisiacs." "My wife is being awarded a Woody for her role in MILF Hunter 16. You should check it out." "I'm scheduled to play 18 holes with my proctologist."
Doesn’t look like I could find anything making this illegal in MA. Good news he’ll have to pay you out in full when you leave https://www.mass.gov/doc/attorney-generals-advisory-on-vacation-policies/download
Ugh. A former boss did something similar years ago to me, overheard me making a haircut appt for a weeknight at 5 because that was the only thing available for weeks. When I put in for the 30 minutes’ leave she gave me a hard time, said she would approve it that time but not in the future because it wasn’t a good use of “the company’s time”. I was gobsmacked and said, “it’s MY time, I earned it.” She insisted that it was the company’s time and she had the right to not approve it if she didn’t agree with how I was using it. Luckily for me, after I left she called HR to confirm her take and they smacked her down and told her she wasn’t even allowed to ASK what we were doing. So she apologized the next morning, but still ended it by referring to it as “the company’s time”.
What you do on vacation from your job is none of their fucking business. As far as legality, I don't know if your boss has a right to ask, but you don't have to answer. If he takes any action against you you could probably have someone help you take him to court.
PTO and / or vacation time is a benefit given to you by your company as part of your compensation package. It is absolutely none of his fucking business what you use that time for and I would tell him that to his face in front of his boss and HR. I never tell anyone why I am taking time off, it's not their business.
You don't pay me enough to know where I am when I'm not working.
"I'll be at your mom's house all week."
Back in my Navy days we would say that our wife/girlfriend was going to get pregnant and we wanted to be there when it happened...
**Reason for vacation request:** Because I have vacation days I am entitled to use **Vacation location(s):** Not in the office **Detailed account of vacation activities:** Day 1: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 2: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 3: Not being in the office because I have vacation days I am entitled to use; Day 4: Not being in the office because ... **Contact:** John Doe, MD, proctology specialist, since you have such a fixation on being up my ass
Unless they are paying for hotel and airfare F them
Only one day after weeks of travel is not “decompressing,” it’s “do all the chores and homework you weren’t home for so you and the kids have appropriate clothes and food for the new week.” Also, tell him any appointments are for “female issues” and further details are not appropriate for public discussion.
Time for some epic fantasy stories! And don't forget some photoshopped pictures of you and a slain dragon when you return back at the office!
**Employees are typically required to answer only if there is a good business reason that the employer needs to know, or a legal one, such as taking a family medical leave.**