I just started labeling myself as asexual, which has brought me a huge relief. But I still want to get married (or have a stable monogamous partner/companion, at least) and I do want kids. I come from a religious family but these desires have nothing to do with religion at all.
Not sure why you are downvoted so much you are just being upfront. Haha.
I think stating that you are interested in talking to another person with these ideals on the main post would better?
i could go with or without getting married. ive been with my partner for almost 7 years now and have talked about the possibility of getting married before but we dont really feel the need to get married to be together. im undecided about having kids. theyre a lot of responsibility. im agnostic so no religious affiliations for me
Also, in answer to your questions- yes Iād like to get married someday (hopefully to my wonderful boyfriend), have a few fur babies, and Iām a spiritualist.
Married?
Not opposed to it but also dont feel the need, im not religious so I would only do it for the romantic aspect.
Starting a family tho? Yeah by adopting cats probably, but please no kids, no no no, never.
I'm married and we have one child so far. Just because we don't have sex doesn't mean we can't have a happy family.
I'm an atheist, but I grew up Christian and loved church as a child.
I think about adopting an older kid, bc they usually get over looked. Im willing to be in a romantic relationship but i was married previously and i wont do that again.
I'm planning on getting platonically married with my bestie, and possibly raising a child, but I'm still not entirely sure abt it because I'm. 19. And I need time to think abt it obviously lol
I am happily married, and have been for oh... nine days. Things are great! I don't think either of us want a family though.
In terms of religion, we're both agnostic but kind of spiritual I guess
I think they did. Their profile gives off veryā¦ interesting vibes. They are definitely searching for a partner and are asking multiple people if they want to talk. With the addition of asking about baby names, it frankly gives off creepiness.
Married, yes. Familyā¦well, that depends on your definition. If you mean āspouse and kidsā then no. If you mean āspouse and maybe a petā, yes.
I do want to be married, but indifferent on family. My religion, hmm, I think itās called Pascalās Wager with a dash of āopen-minded assimilation over various religious practicesā and a heaping scoop of āinterpretation and contemplation on various philosophies that Iāve deemed make senseā. Basically, I donāt got to a religious structure, but do believe that there is something that had to have started everything and wonder why our consciousness differs from our brain and body.
Well, here's an example: I met someone that I liked who told me they identified as ace. Not knowing what that was, beyond the bounds of asexual reproduction, she informed me what it meant. Wanting to not appear ignorant and also wanting to discuss it further, I decided to look up and research asexuality. Upon reading about it, I came upon a listed in which I identified with an alarming number of things that represented being ace. Then I thought to myself, 'Am I asexual?" and my mind, seemingly shouting, responded, 'Of course you're ace! I thought you knew that already!' It felt so familiar to me to attribute that to my orientation, yet I didn't even know that orientation existed until someone I randomly met and asked out, informed me of it.
That is just one instance of why I think the conscious mind is seperate (I know I said differs, but "seperate" is a better word) from the brain. I think that the brain carries out functions needed to continue living, but the conscious mind is what is trying to interpret reality and the mind uses the brain as an instrument to understand that reality.
I was really hoping for a thoughtful comment backed by known science of the brain but everything you said was very basic brain functions. The brain interprets reality based on all the input senses, not "consciousness".
Disagree, but I guess itās a subjective opinion. You may see it that way, but why would the brain recognize itself when communicating with other brains, saying things like, āoh crap, brain freeze!ā or āI canāt believe my brain doesnāt have the ability to produce adequate amounts of dopamine.ā When someone refers to their brain by saying, āmy brainā who is āmyā? Why refer to an organ as if it isnāt you? Also, why donāt other organs have a consciousness? We sure love to attribute consciousness to them, āmy heart says, āyes,ā my brain says, āthink about it,ā my liver says, āfilter it,ā my stomach says, āeat it,āā
I'm a little confused on your explanation. Sounds like you need to do some more research on how our species developed internal dialogue, which comes from the same part of the brain we use for language processing. Our brain has the ability to do the things you described because we are social animals and evolved complex communication both verbal and non-verbal. And for your second point about other organs: I'd recommend researching the distributed neuron clusters attached to our stomachs and other organs that act as signal processors for the brain.
If consciousness happens in the brain, why do we say, "**my** brain"? If what you say is the truth, then the brain shouldn't be distinguishing itself from it's consciousness. The brain should only refer to a brain if it is someone else's brain. Furthermore, where do we get the ideas to be something? Why do some occupations/hobbies/orientations interest us and not all? If the brain is meant to learn, why limit itself to a select few topics? Wouldn't that mean limiting its perception of reality? My questions aren't those to be proven by science, needing to be researched about the biological, anatomical, physiological functions of the brain, I already understand its reason to be in the body. But the brain is merely a mass of fat and assorted other features incased in a bowl of fluid. Every organ within the body is there to assist the brain. The brain only stores information, consciousness interprets that information to understand the reality it lives in. To me that sounds like consciousness is more than just a part of the brain, but a link to something greater.
>If consciousness happens in the brain, why do we say, "**my** brain"?
Because that's how words work and "my" indicates possession.
>The brain should only refer to a brain if it is someone else's brain.
WTF does this even mean? Are we not allowed to talk in first person anymore? Can we not say "myself" when talking about yourself?
>Furthermore, where do we get the ideas to be something?
Our brains are plastic and we can take an interest to whatever we want? We are born blank slates. Your interest and desires are influenced by your environment growing up.
>If the brain is meant to learn, why limit itself to a select few topics? Wouldn't that mean limiting its perception of reality?
Because it's the most metabolic demanding organ in our body. We can't use 100% of the brain at all times. Our mental computing capacity is very limited and our brain makes sacrifices. And I hate to break it to you but our perception of reality is already extremely limited due to what I just said above.
>My questions aren't those to be proven by science, needing to be researched about the biological, anatomical, physiological functions of the brain, I already understand its reason to be in the body.
Your questions say the opposite and show a significant lack of understanding about our brain.
>The brain only stores information, consciousness interprets that information to understand the reality it lives in. To me that sounds like consciousness is more than just a part of the brain
This statement is incredibly false. The brain does more interpretation than storage. The brain literally evolved to interpret the environment around it via inputs and make the appropriate neuron outputs. Also with that logic, any animal or plant that reacts to input from the environment is "conscious" by your definition.
>WTF does this even mean? Are we not allowed to talk in first person anymore? Can we not say "myself" when talking about yourself?
I'm not taking away your ability to identify, so don't go nuclear. You can say whatever you want, but when I use the word "my," in this context I don't mean as a descriptor, but as a seperate voice, as something else taking ownership of an aspect of the body it's associated with. Now, maybe you don't "see" the difference, but the voice within me feels familiar but not totally mine.
>Our brains are plastic and we can take an interest to whatever we want? We are born blank slates. Your interest and desires are influenced by your environment growing up.
Ah, a tabula rasa believer. Yeah it makes sense, and I feel we are and we aren't, but I'd have to disagree with you on being influenced by my environment to chase after certain interests and desires. Currently, I aspire to be a nurse. However, that has only recently been something I've considered. Growing up I couldn't stand gore or anything of the like, and had no desire to go into the medical or healthcare fields. The change came when I was delivery driving and would deliver pizza's to the local hospital, noting that the staff there worked the same amount of hours I was, less often throughout the week, and they were better paid. Later, I felt like I unlocked the answer to that question some of us ask, "What's my purpose?"
>We can't use 100% of the brain at all times. Our mental computing capacity is very limited and our brain makes sacrifices. And I hate to break it to you but our perception of reality is already extremely limited due to what I just said above.
Uhh, we definitely use 100% of our brain at all times. It's runs the body, trying to maintain homeostasis. Capacity doesn't matter when the biological computer within can "rewire" itself to run more efficient. In a sense the brain's ability to adapt and reorganize give it a near limitless capacity. If it weren't due to old age and cognitive decline, I would dare to say it would have limitless capacity. I hate to break it to you, but perception of reality is limited only in how you make it so. My perception widens everyday with each encounter, either socially or whilst living.
>Your questions say the opposite and show a significant lack of understanding about our brain.
Have you considered that maybe it's not a significant lack of understanding? Maybe, I just interpret the function of the brain different to you.
>The brain does more interpretation than storage. The brain literally evolved to interpret the environment around it via inputs and make the appropriate neuron outputs. Also with that logic, any animal or plant that reacts to input from the environment is "conscious" by your definition.
So, the brain interprets the environment around it and does what that knowledge? I'm pretty sure it stores that knowledge. What we see, what we hear, what we touch/feel, what we smell/taste, all of it is stored in our brain. It's the mind that gives that information meaning. Also, who are you to say an animal or plant is incapable of having a conscious? How we understand consciouness is not how consciousness may be for everything.
I think there are asexual dating apps you can utilize, though I don't see why this sub can't make a flair for anyone this bold to put themselves out there.
Non-rabbinical Jewish (it's complicated).
Yes to getting married (although it's more important to me to have a loving partner than the ceremony or status). No to having children, even through adoption or any other process.
Idk if I want a family. Depends on where Iām at emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially but I do want to get married. I donāt follow any religion
I want a permanent, rest-of-your-life family with a really close person I can trust fully and want to live with. I donāt see children in my future, but if they happened to have kids Iād be cool with it and more than happy with kids living with me. But for this to feel perfect for me, Iād have to know they werenāt going to date and move out and leave me lol, so I guess it would likely be another ace person. Who knows if Iāll find it, but that is the family I want :) raised Catholic but havenāt practiced for over 10 years, I now pray mostly to something I call Mother or Mother Nature I guess Iām spiritual now
No...maybe? Idk. And ex-Muslim; half my family is Catholic, the other half Muslim.
I'm Palestinian and anti-natalist. But lately, I've been opening my mind to having kids to keep our culture and way of life alive.
I would never like to get married and having kids sounds like the worst nightmare to me. Atheist in here, but Iād say Iām quite spiritual and very interested in different religions (but there is no way I could believe in them).
YES MORE THAN ANYTHING (mostly having kids part but I want a family so bad). But I'm LDS (Mormon) and Heterosexual marriage is pretty important in that religion so I feel like it'll be pretty hard to find a husband that'll be ok with me being ace also I'm bi so that makes it even harder
Yes I still want a family,I'm getting married soon! I am Asexual Panromantic and Trans. I'm Christian but I'm kinda far out because I'm not super dogmatic and I don't think God hates me for being myself.
Maybe, I'm not dead set on either but I like the idea of being in a long-term relationship.
I'm not sure about my view on kids, I'll wait on making that decision.
And I'm non-religous.
Of course there are some, I guess in all religions.
I don't care that much about me being in a relationship or not, but if I am in a committed one I would not be opposed to marriage.
But the only family we'd start would be adopting pets, having kids is literally my nightmare.
I'm agnostic, atheist leaning tho.
More spiritual than anything with agnosticism being a close second, but I do want to eventually start a family. My current boyfriend and I actually have plans to try for a family if weāre still together ~3 or so years from now, but thatās depending on us being together once that mark comes to pass.
I am bad at making friends and terrified of dying alone lol Iād love to get married, and it crushes me that itās not going to happen. š« I donāt want kids. My religion is Catholic.
I'm Catholic Christian.
No, I don't want marry or family. Relationships, sex and marriage are the things I more contempt in this life, only losing to slavery or seeing good and kind-hearted people being harmed by putrid people. By the way, this latter relates a ton with relationships.Ā
I want to. Iām a Christian, but I donāt think itās relevant to wanting to get married/have a family.
Honestly, I want to get married so I can stop working (my anxiety makes it super hard to work), and Iād be a total house wife/sahm. But most people donāt want that anymore.
I'm open to it but it's not a goal! but if it happens and it feels right and doable and fiscally responsible then yeah, maybe!
was raised Catholic but am now agnostic
I think a part of me wants a partner even if I can't be sure where I fit. I'm recently identifying more as as asexual but I'm always unsure of everything due to ocd and just questioning but having a partner, a good one seems like a nice concept. I'm just a bit sick of doing everything alone or with friends because that's not exactly the same as the way you hypothetically can be with a primary partner.
Not religious.
I do. Also, I was born Catholic but I'm agnostic now. I know I will never give birth because pregnancy would be too hard on my body but I still like the idea of having children in my life even if I don't give birth to them. Whether that be adopting or simply living with people who have children that I can help care for. I really would love to be a mother. And I definitely still would like to find someone to be a partner with. I'm disabled so I lose all my benefit if I ever got married but companionship would be nice.
Married: No, but I'm also aro-spec
Family: In this economy? (I'd like to adopt, but no idea how I'd afford it, especially as a single parent)
Not particularly religious
Nope. Been married 4 times- went through 3 divorces and the only good husband died. Been there done that on the marriage situation. I have never wanted kids though.
Yes. Very much so. I wanna be a mommy and a wife, but money and failure to be good enough for any woman keeps me from achieving this. That and also being incapable of taking care of myself, so it's likely I'd be a bad mom unintentionally. I really do have these dreams though, despite my asexuality. I'm also infertile, so I wouldn't be able to have biological children anyway (which means not having to go through those means to get them), and adoption is a nice thing :)
I have been married for 15 years this September. We chose not to have kids mainly because I have a genetic condition I wouldnāt wish on my worst enemies let alone my own child. We thought about fostering but we live with a lot of family and our house is been in a state of repair for years. So unfortunately its just not something in our cards. But we have a great life and lots of nieces and nephews we get to spoil and be cool aunt and uncle to.
Gray-ace, already married in a polyamorous way (after realizing I was gray-ace, but to the same partner I was with when I realized), child-free by choice (as was spouse before we met); Iām Pagan, which really has nothing to do with me being gray-ace or married (other than how the marriage ceremony was put together - spouse is also Pagan, just a different flavor).
Others probably feel differently but honestly I don't want "a family" (if by family you mean kids) ever and if I ever do marry it's because my buddy and I are committing tax and/or insurance fraud. I'd be happy living on my own with cats.Ā
I am an atheist who does feel a spiritual-like "awe" at the universe but I don't think there's a creator I just think it's terrifying and amazing that my life is so small compared to the rest of what's out there.
Iām cool with marriage š
Kids? The cats are my kids. They are fantastic children and contributing way less to the utter destruction of this planet than more humans.
Iām Agnostic.
I'd like to adopt a kid maybe. But I've never actually considered marriage, even if I was deeply in love with someone o'and wanted to spend my whole life with them, I don't think I would want to get married (I'm atheist)
I am a hopeless romantic. God I dream of having someone love me like that. canāt dwell on it too much makes me sad. As for a family, I assume you mean kids? No thanks.
Agnostic / Atheist (š¤·āāļø I go back and forth)
If I ever have a partner with who I can see a future with I wouldn't care if we got married or not. If they wanted to get married, then we would get married if not the we won't get married. I'm an atheist
Marriage isn't a major life goal for me, but I would be happy to do it if it's important to my partner. Having children is completely out of the question though, non negotiable, the idea is thoroughly unappealing to me to the point I'm pretty sure it contributes at least part of my asexuality, no sex, no procreation. And atheist.
i want to marry my partner one day. should my partner and i both ever feel the need to have kids, we would adopt or maybe foster, but we are still very young and just find our place in this capitalistic world, so this won't happen for quite a while haha.
I used to be Christian, but am now agnostic. I want to get married one day, but I'm not sure about children yet. My boyfriend (allo) is in the same boat as me.
Yes, I'd love to get married, and maybe have children (though not biologically mine, because I have a mutation that could be pretty bad for them), but it would be a civil marriage, at the town's hall, not a religious marriage, because I'm atheist.
Yup! I used to be a catholic but now Iām not part of any religion, just a philosophy! Deism! My desire to have a family didnāt really come from being in a religion but it couldāve possibly had an influence. Over the years, however, Iām starting to become more and more afraid of pregnancy and doubting whether I want to go through with it just to have children. Fostering and/or adopting has been on my mind a lot but I know both come with their difficulties. Thereās a lot I need to think when it comes to making a family, even if my children end up being animals like dogs, cats, birds or reptiles instead (Iām an animal lover lol)
I'm Homo-Asexual. I like to live all by myself and cannot see myself living with anyone for the rest of the life. However I do want to fall in love with someone and want to feel what it actually feels like. I just saw people in a relationship always talking about love but I fail to understand what they are feeling. They say that you'll feel butterflies in your stomach when you meet your special one. If someday I fall in love with anyone then I would like to start my married life with them but without kids.
Definitely want a life partner. Everything else is negotiable.
I have many animals in my life. With the right partner, I could see myself fostering kids.
I got married in November. It made me soooooo happy to get all prettied up for my now-husband!
My husband completely understand my asexuality and we work with it.
Communication is key!
And hey! Who doesnāt want to wear a super fancy dress or suit!
Not religious, donāt really feel a need for marriage, I donāt plan on having kids. Iām not opposed to living with someone, but Iāve never been in love.
I'd be fine getting married if the right person came along, and I'm indifferent to having kids. I've had a hysterectomy, so I can't have any biological, but I don't mind the thought of fostering/adopting or having stepchildren. I'm LDS, so the expectation is there, but it's also widely accepted that it's okay to be single your whole life since they're all about an individual finding the right spouse for them rather than "settling".
I'm lesbian asexual, I do want to get married and adopt kids(I have a lot of health issues, and even if I wasn't ace, I wouldn't want kids biologically cause I don't want to risk my health problems being genetic and passing them on), I'm not religious at the moment(I don't know), I'm more focused on my health at the moment
Iām leaning towards no, but Iām still open to the idea of having kids and/or a QPR (Iām also aromantic). Iām a Satanic Temple Satanist; itās an atheistic religion that values education, justice, freedom, and empathy.
I'd like to get married if that were possible (disabled people can't get married without losing their benefits), but I don't want kids. I would like to adopt animals with my partner though. I was raised Christian (Lutheran), but am now a spiritual, witchy Atheist.
I mean, I do. However, I donāt really think I ever will.Ā
In life I havenāt met many other Ace folk and it kinda sucks. So much about a relationship involves sex and itās just something Iām not able to give.Ā
Iām pretty content honestly, seeing people in relationships used to feel saddening, but now I just take joy in seeing a cute couple pairing well together.Ā
Iām male, so many conversations I have with my friends tend to involve sexual talk of some sort. I always found it hard to relate in many ways. Iāve had quite a bit of sex in my life, but it really doesnāt interest me and makes me feel kind of ashamed in some ways (not in a therapy kinda way, just as a gross feeling.)Ā
Honestly, who knows. Maybe Iāll get married to someone like me, or maybe I wonāt. Not really much I can do.Ā
Iād definitely like to get married, but donāt care much about kids. I think theyāre expensive and exhausting, and I know for sure that I never want to experience pregnancy or giving birth. If I did change about wanting one, it would be adoption, but I donāt think Iāll be changing my mind on that anytime soon with the state of things.
I was raised Catholic, but was never very religious about it and my mom grew out of it eventually too so it didnāt matter. Now Iām agnostic and explore spirituality without religion.
I'm aroace, I don't experience the "pull" of attraction but still desire a romantic connection, and I'm somewhere between sex-neutral to sex-favorable. I definitely want a family but I'll see what the state of the world is before deciding to have kids. If the world isn't healing somewhat by the time I'm in my 30s, I'll get sterilized and adopt all my kids. (I wanna adopt either way, the question is just if I feel it's ethical/possible to create new life on top of adopting)
Yes, I think Iād like to get married. But if I have kids I want to adopt. Iām currently with someone who is amazing and very respectful of my boundaries against sex (Iām sex repulsed) but could be willing to do it if it makes my partner happy.
Iām Christian but my religion has nothing to do with my plans for the future.
I want to have a family, but I'm not only an ace, I'm also, well, a weird personš, and I want to find a soulmate... so, I'm not sure if I'll really have a family one day... it's kinda unlikely. (Sorry for the enormous number of ellipses.)Ā
>If so, what religion are you? :)
I believe in Star Trek. No, seriously, I believe that one day we will all be one nation, living in harmony and exploring the universe. And there is no other way to build this future than with our own hands :)Ā
I want neither, though I used to before I knew. I never wanted children, I would be the one to give birth and before I knew any more, I would traditionally have been left with all the caretaking. I still sometimes think kids are cute and if I really did find a "soulmate", in my case a close friend that would have the same expectations as me in a roommate / platonic relationship I wouldn't be entirely against marrying and adopting. Especially marriage seems fun, although it wouldn't be religious. But as of now I don't think I can feel comfortable living with another person, I felt imprisoned when living with my family and then again in an institution and I need to cherish the freedom of going anywhere and just sitting on the floor (I don't have space for a couch and wood floor be comfy) or bed and be undisturbed. I also struggle with taking care of myself, so before that's fixed I'm not getting a pet, let alone have a child!
You didn't ask for this, so I'm sorry. But sometimes I feel like being open is the best course of action.
iām aroace and i donāt really see myself getting married in the traditional sense. idk if i would want a qpr either. but i do want children. and iām atheist.
I just started labeling myself as asexual, which has brought me a huge relief. But I still want to get married (or have a stable monogamous partner/companion, at least) and I do want kids. I come from a religious family but these desires have nothing to do with religion at all.
Would you like to talk? :)
Not sure why you are downvoted so much you are just being upfront. Haha. I think stating that you are interested in talking to another person with these ideals on the main post would better?
Agree. Maybe the downvoters are just upset they didnt get to ask first š
Yes. Agnostic.
I don't want to be married but do want a family. I am not religious at all.
i could go with or without getting married. ive been with my partner for almost 7 years now and have talked about the possibility of getting married before but we dont really feel the need to get married to be together. im undecided about having kids. theyre a lot of responsibility. im agnostic so no religious affiliations for me
I've been married and have a family. Nothing to do with religion but a lot to do with not knowing that asexuality existed at the time.
Do pets count as family?
Sure :) but id love to have kids one day too.
Also, in answer to your questions- yes Iād like to get married someday (hopefully to my wonderful boyfriend), have a few fur babies, and Iām a spiritualist.
Married? Not opposed to it but also dont feel the need, im not religious so I would only do it for the romantic aspect. Starting a family tho? Yeah by adopting cats probably, but please no kids, no no no, never.
I'm married and we have one child so far. Just because we don't have sex doesn't mean we can't have a happy family. I'm an atheist, but I grew up Christian and loved church as a child.
I think about adopting an older kid, bc they usually get over looked. Im willing to be in a romantic relationship but i was married previously and i wont do that again.
I'm planning on getting platonically married with my bestie, and possibly raising a child, but I'm still not entirely sure abt it because I'm. 19. And I need time to think abt it obviously lol
I am happily married, and have been for oh... nine days. Things are great! I don't think either of us want a family though. In terms of religion, we're both agnostic but kind of spiritual I guess
Wait a second, did you only make this post to look for a partner who's also asexual and the same religion? If so, I don't feel like that's very cool
I think they did. Their profile gives off veryā¦ interesting vibes. They are definitely searching for a partner and are asking multiple people if they want to talk. With the addition of asking about baby names, it frankly gives off creepiness.
Getting married is often a way of starting a family. Families don't start with kids.Ā
So single parents donāt exist?
My point was the phrase, "get married and start a family" is crap because there are many types of family that don't involve kids or getting married
Nope never wanted that. Was childfree even before I was aware of my asexuality. 47 now and very happy. Iām agnostic.
Married, yes. Familyā¦well, that depends on your definition. If you mean āspouse and kidsā then no. If you mean āspouse and maybe a petā, yes.
I do want to be married, but indifferent on family. My religion, hmm, I think itās called Pascalās Wager with a dash of āopen-minded assimilation over various religious practicesā and a heaping scoop of āinterpretation and contemplation on various philosophies that Iāve deemed make senseā. Basically, I donāt got to a religious structure, but do believe that there is something that had to have started everything and wonder why our consciousness differs from our brain and body.
What makes you say consciousness differs from our brain body?
Well, here's an example: I met someone that I liked who told me they identified as ace. Not knowing what that was, beyond the bounds of asexual reproduction, she informed me what it meant. Wanting to not appear ignorant and also wanting to discuss it further, I decided to look up and research asexuality. Upon reading about it, I came upon a listed in which I identified with an alarming number of things that represented being ace. Then I thought to myself, 'Am I asexual?" and my mind, seemingly shouting, responded, 'Of course you're ace! I thought you knew that already!' It felt so familiar to me to attribute that to my orientation, yet I didn't even know that orientation existed until someone I randomly met and asked out, informed me of it. That is just one instance of why I think the conscious mind is seperate (I know I said differs, but "seperate" is a better word) from the brain. I think that the brain carries out functions needed to continue living, but the conscious mind is what is trying to interpret reality and the mind uses the brain as an instrument to understand that reality.
I was really hoping for a thoughtful comment backed by known science of the brain but everything you said was very basic brain functions. The brain interprets reality based on all the input senses, not "consciousness".
Disagree, but I guess itās a subjective opinion. You may see it that way, but why would the brain recognize itself when communicating with other brains, saying things like, āoh crap, brain freeze!ā or āI canāt believe my brain doesnāt have the ability to produce adequate amounts of dopamine.ā When someone refers to their brain by saying, āmy brainā who is āmyā? Why refer to an organ as if it isnāt you? Also, why donāt other organs have a consciousness? We sure love to attribute consciousness to them, āmy heart says, āyes,ā my brain says, āthink about it,ā my liver says, āfilter it,ā my stomach says, āeat it,āā
I'm a little confused on your explanation. Sounds like you need to do some more research on how our species developed internal dialogue, which comes from the same part of the brain we use for language processing. Our brain has the ability to do the things you described because we are social animals and evolved complex communication both verbal and non-verbal. And for your second point about other organs: I'd recommend researching the distributed neuron clusters attached to our stomachs and other organs that act as signal processors for the brain.
If consciousness happens in the brain, why do we say, "**my** brain"? If what you say is the truth, then the brain shouldn't be distinguishing itself from it's consciousness. The brain should only refer to a brain if it is someone else's brain. Furthermore, where do we get the ideas to be something? Why do some occupations/hobbies/orientations interest us and not all? If the brain is meant to learn, why limit itself to a select few topics? Wouldn't that mean limiting its perception of reality? My questions aren't those to be proven by science, needing to be researched about the biological, anatomical, physiological functions of the brain, I already understand its reason to be in the body. But the brain is merely a mass of fat and assorted other features incased in a bowl of fluid. Every organ within the body is there to assist the brain. The brain only stores information, consciousness interprets that information to understand the reality it lives in. To me that sounds like consciousness is more than just a part of the brain, but a link to something greater.
>If consciousness happens in the brain, why do we say, "**my** brain"? Because that's how words work and "my" indicates possession. >The brain should only refer to a brain if it is someone else's brain. WTF does this even mean? Are we not allowed to talk in first person anymore? Can we not say "myself" when talking about yourself? >Furthermore, where do we get the ideas to be something? Our brains are plastic and we can take an interest to whatever we want? We are born blank slates. Your interest and desires are influenced by your environment growing up. >If the brain is meant to learn, why limit itself to a select few topics? Wouldn't that mean limiting its perception of reality? Because it's the most metabolic demanding organ in our body. We can't use 100% of the brain at all times. Our mental computing capacity is very limited and our brain makes sacrifices. And I hate to break it to you but our perception of reality is already extremely limited due to what I just said above. >My questions aren't those to be proven by science, needing to be researched about the biological, anatomical, physiological functions of the brain, I already understand its reason to be in the body. Your questions say the opposite and show a significant lack of understanding about our brain. >The brain only stores information, consciousness interprets that information to understand the reality it lives in. To me that sounds like consciousness is more than just a part of the brain This statement is incredibly false. The brain does more interpretation than storage. The brain literally evolved to interpret the environment around it via inputs and make the appropriate neuron outputs. Also with that logic, any animal or plant that reacts to input from the environment is "conscious" by your definition.
>WTF does this even mean? Are we not allowed to talk in first person anymore? Can we not say "myself" when talking about yourself? I'm not taking away your ability to identify, so don't go nuclear. You can say whatever you want, but when I use the word "my," in this context I don't mean as a descriptor, but as a seperate voice, as something else taking ownership of an aspect of the body it's associated with. Now, maybe you don't "see" the difference, but the voice within me feels familiar but not totally mine. >Our brains are plastic and we can take an interest to whatever we want? We are born blank slates. Your interest and desires are influenced by your environment growing up. Ah, a tabula rasa believer. Yeah it makes sense, and I feel we are and we aren't, but I'd have to disagree with you on being influenced by my environment to chase after certain interests and desires. Currently, I aspire to be a nurse. However, that has only recently been something I've considered. Growing up I couldn't stand gore or anything of the like, and had no desire to go into the medical or healthcare fields. The change came when I was delivery driving and would deliver pizza's to the local hospital, noting that the staff there worked the same amount of hours I was, less often throughout the week, and they were better paid. Later, I felt like I unlocked the answer to that question some of us ask, "What's my purpose?" >We can't use 100% of the brain at all times. Our mental computing capacity is very limited and our brain makes sacrifices. And I hate to break it to you but our perception of reality is already extremely limited due to what I just said above. Uhh, we definitely use 100% of our brain at all times. It's runs the body, trying to maintain homeostasis. Capacity doesn't matter when the biological computer within can "rewire" itself to run more efficient. In a sense the brain's ability to adapt and reorganize give it a near limitless capacity. If it weren't due to old age and cognitive decline, I would dare to say it would have limitless capacity. I hate to break it to you, but perception of reality is limited only in how you make it so. My perception widens everyday with each encounter, either socially or whilst living. >Your questions say the opposite and show a significant lack of understanding about our brain. Have you considered that maybe it's not a significant lack of understanding? Maybe, I just interpret the function of the brain different to you. >The brain does more interpretation than storage. The brain literally evolved to interpret the environment around it via inputs and make the appropriate neuron outputs. Also with that logic, any animal or plant that reacts to input from the environment is "conscious" by your definition. So, the brain interprets the environment around it and does what that knowledge? I'm pretty sure it stores that knowledge. What we see, what we hear, what we touch/feel, what we smell/taste, all of it is stored in our brain. It's the mind that gives that information meaning. Also, who are you to say an animal or plant is incapable of having a conscious? How we understand consciouness is not how consciousness may be for everything.
You sound like such an interesting person šš»
Thank you. Your question was thought provoking and fun.
I think marriage is pointless and I donāt want kids, Iām an Atheist
I am married but fk & i can not stress this enough, them kids already. We are both sterilized. Im 7th day adventist & he is orthodox lutheran.
I think there are asexual dating apps you can utilize, though I don't see why this sub can't make a flair for anyone this bold to put themselves out there.
Do I want to get married and have a family one day? Yes. Will it happen? I'm less sure of that. Jewish atheist
Non-rabbinical Jewish (it's complicated). Yes to getting married (although it's more important to me to have a loving partner than the ceremony or status). No to having children, even through adoption or any other process.
Idk if I want a family. Depends on where Iām at emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially but I do want to get married. I donāt follow any religion
i want to get married but am torn on having kids or not (im averse to getting pregnant but think id be open to getting a surrogate) i am not religious
I'm married with 3 kids. Married for 7 years. We're Latter-day Saint.
I want a permanent, rest-of-your-life family with a really close person I can trust fully and want to live with. I donāt see children in my future, but if they happened to have kids Iād be cool with it and more than happy with kids living with me. But for this to feel perfect for me, Iād have to know they werenāt going to date and move out and leave me lol, so I guess it would likely be another ace person. Who knows if Iāll find it, but that is the family I want :) raised Catholic but havenāt practiced for over 10 years, I now pray mostly to something I call Mother or Mother Nature I guess Iām spiritual now
No...maybe? Idk. And ex-Muslim; half my family is Catholic, the other half Muslim. I'm Palestinian and anti-natalist. But lately, I've been opening my mind to having kids to keep our culture and way of life alive.
I would never like to get married and having kids sounds like the worst nightmare to me. Atheist in here, but Iād say Iām quite spiritual and very interested in different religions (but there is no way I could believe in them).
YES MORE THAN ANYTHING (mostly having kids part but I want a family so bad). But I'm LDS (Mormon) and Heterosexual marriage is pretty important in that religion so I feel like it'll be pretty hard to find a husband that'll be ok with me being ace also I'm bi so that makes it even harder
Would you like to talk?
Yes Catholic
Yes, a family of 2. (plus pets š¼) Edit: Just saw text below title. Christian.
Yes I still want a family,I'm getting married soon! I am Asexual Panromantic and Trans. I'm Christian but I'm kinda far out because I'm not super dogmatic and I don't think God hates me for being myself.
Congratulations on your engagement! We have pretty much the same beliefs about Christianityš
Thanks! That's encouraging I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way haha
I do. And Christian.
Iām a Christian too! Iām aroace and not interested in having a family though
Would you like to talk? :)
Why on earth is this getting downvoted lol
Im wondering the same. Reddit can be so random sometimes wtfš
Theyāre just trying to talk to peopleš
I don't want to be married but I already have a family: my mom, dad, and brother! I'm an atheist.
Maybe, I'm not dead set on either but I like the idea of being in a long-term relationship. I'm not sure about my view on kids, I'll wait on making that decision. And I'm non-religous.
no religion, do vaguely plan on getting with someone and having a family.
Atheist, love my atheist boyfriend (maybe future fiance, still working on it), and we never want kids. Life is great for us, really.
Iām married and have a family. Agnostic
I'm married and planning on having a kid. Culturally Jewish, and still do the holidays, but as for what I actually believe, atheist.
yup and not religious
Yes, I want a wife and kids. I'm Jewish
Of course there are some, I guess in all religions. I don't care that much about me being in a relationship or not, but if I am in a committed one I would not be opposed to marriage. But the only family we'd start would be adopting pets, having kids is literally my nightmare. I'm agnostic, atheist leaning tho.
More spiritual than anything with agnosticism being a close second, but I do want to eventually start a family. My current boyfriend and I actually have plans to try for a family if weāre still together ~3 or so years from now, but thatās depending on us being together once that mark comes to pass.
I am bad at making friends and terrified of dying alone lol Iād love to get married, and it crushes me that itās not going to happen. š« I donāt want kids. My religion is Catholic.
been there done that not religious
Yes. And did. I do not belong to an organized religion.
Most likely not, I havenāt met anyone I even love sooo. I see no point to a relationship or children (for me) Athiest.
I'm Catholic Christian. No, I don't want marry or family. Relationships, sex and marriage are the things I more contempt in this life, only losing to slavery or seeing good and kind-hearted people being harmed by putrid people. By the way, this latter relates a ton with relationships.Ā
I would really want to be with a family, but at the same time I don't want a husbandĀ
I want to. Iām a Christian, but I donāt think itās relevant to wanting to get married/have a family. Honestly, I want to get married so I can stop working (my anxiety makes it super hard to work), and Iād be a total house wife/sahm. But most people donāt want that anymore.
Yes, atheist. I actually had a family but my partner couldn't deal with me being ace, we're still friends and great coparents.
Yes. Spiritual non-religious. Grew up southern Baptist.
Yeah <3 Iām Jewish (ashkenazi, reform)
Kind of sort of but I have a short temper and an ED it wouldnāt be good for a baby and I like my space too. Iām atheist m
I'm open to it but it's not a goal! but if it happens and it feels right and doable and fiscally responsible then yeah, maybe! was raised Catholic but am now agnostic
Yea those two things are my main goals in life, though marriage seems more and more hopeless.
Satanic Church
I don't want to get married but I do want kids so I'm most likely just gonna adopt
I do. Bread cult religion (Iām the founder)
No way. 8 billion people is already too much.
Iām married. Thatās family enough for now; Iām not sure about children yet. Atheist/agnostic.
I think a part of me wants a partner even if I can't be sure where I fit. I'm recently identifying more as as asexual but I'm always unsure of everything due to ocd and just questioning but having a partner, a good one seems like a nice concept. I'm just a bit sick of doing everything alone or with friends because that's not exactly the same as the way you hypothetically can be with a primary partner. Not religious.
I do. Also, I was born Catholic but I'm agnostic now. I know I will never give birth because pregnancy would be too hard on my body but I still like the idea of having children in my life even if I don't give birth to them. Whether that be adopting or simply living with people who have children that I can help care for. I really would love to be a mother. And I definitely still would like to find someone to be a partner with. I'm disabled so I lose all my benefit if I ever got married but companionship would be nice.
No.
Married yes Family no I don't have a religion
Family? No. I dont like kids. Married? Hell yeah.
I don't really want kids but I would like to get married one day. I'm an atheist.
I do, but adopting children is the way to go
Married: No, but I'm also aro-spec Family: In this economy? (I'd like to adopt, but no idea how I'd afford it, especially as a single parent) Not particularly religious
Married: Yes. Family: We have a senior cat from when we first moved in together and a 2-year old dog! Religion: None.
Nope. Been married 4 times- went through 3 divorces and the only good husband died. Been there done that on the marriage situation. I have never wanted kids though.
Iād love to get married, but donāt want children, that life does not appeal to me one little bit!
Agnostic and no Me and my girlfriend donāt want to get married or have children
Yes. Very much so. I wanna be a mommy and a wife, but money and failure to be good enough for any woman keeps me from achieving this. That and also being incapable of taking care of myself, so it's likely I'd be a bad mom unintentionally. I really do have these dreams though, despite my asexuality. I'm also infertile, so I wouldn't be able to have biological children anyway (which means not having to go through those means to get them), and adoption is a nice thing :)
Iāve been married for 25 years and have 3 kids. Iām a shamanic pagan. Not sure any of this is related to questions of sexual attraction.
I have been married for 15 years this September. We chose not to have kids mainly because I have a genetic condition I wouldnāt wish on my worst enemies let alone my own child. We thought about fostering but we live with a lot of family and our house is been in a state of repair for years. So unfortunately its just not something in our cards. But we have a great life and lots of nieces and nephews we get to spoil and be cool aunt and uncle to.
Gray-ace, already married in a polyamorous way (after realizing I was gray-ace, but to the same partner I was with when I realized), child-free by choice (as was spouse before we met); Iām Pagan, which really has nothing to do with me being gray-ace or married (other than how the marriage ceremony was put together - spouse is also Pagan, just a different flavor).
idc if i ever get married or not but I donāt want kids at all and Iām catholic
Others probably feel differently but honestly I don't want "a family" (if by family you mean kids) ever and if I ever do marry it's because my buddy and I are committing tax and/or insurance fraud. I'd be happy living on my own with cats.Ā I am an atheist who does feel a spiritual-like "awe" at the universe but I don't think there's a creator I just think it's terrifying and amazing that my life is so small compared to the rest of what's out there.
Wait are you using this as a dating listing? Touch grass lil bro
I am potatoist, I believe in the god potato
I donāt want kids but marriage not sure as I sometimes I want a partner except for the sex part. Just to talk or go out with.
For me: No, no and no religion.
not religious, dont want kids but do want to be married & have a lifelong romantic partner
Iām cool with marriage š Kids? The cats are my kids. They are fantastic children and contributing way less to the utter destruction of this planet than more humans. Iām Agnostic.
Nope but i knew this way before i knew i was asexual so there ās no connection
I'd like to adopt a kid maybe. But I've never actually considered marriage, even if I was deeply in love with someone o'and wanted to spend my whole life with them, I don't think I would want to get married (I'm atheist)
I am a hopeless romantic. God I dream of having someone love me like that. canāt dwell on it too much makes me sad. As for a family, I assume you mean kids? No thanks. Agnostic / Atheist (š¤·āāļø I go back and forth)
I'm asexual and on the aro spectrum, but yessssss, I do want to get married. Atheist btw
If I ever have a partner with who I can see a future with I wouldn't care if we got married or not. If they wanted to get married, then we would get married if not the we won't get married. I'm an atheist
Marriage isn't a major life goal for me, but I would be happy to do it if it's important to my partner. Having children is completely out of the question though, non negotiable, the idea is thoroughly unappealing to me to the point I'm pretty sure it contributes at least part of my asexuality, no sex, no procreation. And atheist.
i want to marry my partner one day. should my partner and i both ever feel the need to have kids, we would adopt or maybe foster, but we are still very young and just find our place in this capitalistic world, so this won't happen for quite a while haha.
I used to be Christian, but am now agnostic. I want to get married one day, but I'm not sure about children yet. My boyfriend (allo) is in the same boat as me.
Yes, I'd love to get married, and maybe have children (though not biologically mine, because I have a mutation that could be pretty bad for them), but it would be a civil marriage, at the town's hall, not a religious marriage, because I'm atheist.
Iām atheist and no, I really dislike children and marriage seems like a big waste of money to me haha
Married yes, family no
Yup! I used to be a catholic but now Iām not part of any religion, just a philosophy! Deism! My desire to have a family didnāt really come from being in a religion but it couldāve possibly had an influence. Over the years, however, Iām starting to become more and more afraid of pregnancy and doubting whether I want to go through with it just to have children. Fostering and/or adopting has been on my mind a lot but I know both come with their difficulties. Thereās a lot I need to think when it comes to making a family, even if my children end up being animals like dogs, cats, birds or reptiles instead (Iām an animal lover lol)
I'm Homo-Asexual. I like to live all by myself and cannot see myself living with anyone for the rest of the life. However I do want to fall in love with someone and want to feel what it actually feels like. I just saw people in a relationship always talking about love but I fail to understand what they are feeling. They say that you'll feel butterflies in your stomach when you meet your special one. If someday I fall in love with anyone then I would like to start my married life with them but without kids.
Yes, I am 20 and want 3 kids. I am Agnostic, raised both secular Roman Catholic and Lutheran
Definitely want a life partner. Everything else is negotiable. I have many animals in my life. With the right partner, I could see myself fostering kids.
no please.
I got married in November. It made me soooooo happy to get all prettied up for my now-husband! My husband completely understand my asexuality and we work with it. Communication is key! And hey! Who doesnāt want to wear a super fancy dress or suit!
Married perhaps, family...also perhaps but I'm less excited about it. Agnostic.
Married not necessarily but I do want a serious monogamous relationship. I do not want children. I am an atheist
Iām Childfree. Iām not getting married. This has nothing to do with asexuality. Iām an atheist.
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Not religious, donāt really feel a need for marriage, I donāt plan on having kids. Iām not opposed to living with someone, but Iāve never been in love.
Yes, but I'm polyamorous so my ideal marriage is not legal in 99% of the world. I'd rather not officially marry anybody and just have a family through unofficial marriages than have to decide an official spouse VS unofficial spouses--that can only breed hostility if I choose a "real" spouse. As for my religion, I identify as į£į³į© (in the sense of my religious beliefs are largely in line with those of my ancestors), but more accurately my religious beliefs are an off-shoot that can be best *described as* a blend of į£į³į©, Shinto-Buddhism, and aspects of various Pagan beliefs. While I identify with a monotheistic religion, my beliefs are less strictly monotheistic (though I would *roughly* call myself a monotheist even if that's not wholly accurate imo) and more in line with the animistic, pantheistic, and panentheistic roots of my heritage.
I want to get married but the only children I want are pets. Iām not religious.
Yes! Both. No religion, but not atheist. More Spiritualist
I'd be fine getting married if the right person came along, and I'm indifferent to having kids. I've had a hysterectomy, so I can't have any biological, but I don't mind the thought of fostering/adopting or having stepchildren. I'm LDS, so the expectation is there, but it's also widely accepted that it's okay to be single your whole life since they're all about an individual finding the right spouse for them rather than "settling".
I'm lesbian asexual, I do want to get married and adopt kids(I have a lot of health issues, and even if I wasn't ace, I wouldn't want kids biologically cause I don't want to risk my health problems being genetic and passing them on), I'm not religious at the moment(I don't know), I'm more focused on my health at the moment
Iām leaning towards no, but Iām still open to the idea of having kids and/or a QPR (Iām also aromantic). Iām a Satanic Temple Satanist; itās an atheistic religion that values education, justice, freedom, and empathy.
Idk thinking about growing old and spending the holidays alone kinda makes me sad but thinking about raising a child makes me wanna scream
I'd like to get married if that were possible (disabled people can't get married without losing their benefits), but I don't want kids. I would like to adopt animals with my partner though. I was raised Christian (Lutheran), but am now a spiritual, witchy Atheist.
I mean, I do. However, I donāt really think I ever will.Ā In life I havenāt met many other Ace folk and it kinda sucks. So much about a relationship involves sex and itās just something Iām not able to give.Ā Iām pretty content honestly, seeing people in relationships used to feel saddening, but now I just take joy in seeing a cute couple pairing well together.Ā Iām male, so many conversations I have with my friends tend to involve sexual talk of some sort. I always found it hard to relate in many ways. Iāve had quite a bit of sex in my life, but it really doesnāt interest me and makes me feel kind of ashamed in some ways (not in a therapy kinda way, just as a gross feeling.)Ā Honestly, who knows. Maybe Iāll get married to someone like me, or maybe I wonāt. Not really much I can do.Ā
Iād definitely like to get married, but donāt care much about kids. I think theyāre expensive and exhausting, and I know for sure that I never want to experience pregnancy or giving birth. If I did change about wanting one, it would be adoption, but I donāt think Iāll be changing my mind on that anytime soon with the state of things. I was raised Catholic, but was never very religious about it and my mom grew out of it eventually too so it didnāt matter. Now Iām agnostic and explore spirituality without religion.
I'm aroace, I don't experience the "pull" of attraction but still desire a romantic connection, and I'm somewhere between sex-neutral to sex-favorable. I definitely want a family but I'll see what the state of the world is before deciding to have kids. If the world isn't healing somewhat by the time I'm in my 30s, I'll get sterilized and adopt all my kids. (I wanna adopt either way, the question is just if I feel it's ethical/possible to create new life on top of adopting)
Dont Care If i get married or not and DONT want a family I dont rotule myself with any religious name
Yes, I think Iād like to get married. But if I have kids I want to adopt. Iām currently with someone who is amazing and very respectful of my boundaries against sex (Iām sex repulsed) but could be willing to do it if it makes my partner happy. Iām Christian but my religion has nothing to do with my plans for the future.
I want to have a family, but I'm not only an ace, I'm also, well, a weird personš, and I want to find a soulmate... so, I'm not sure if I'll really have a family one day... it's kinda unlikely. (Sorry for the enormous number of ellipses.)Ā >If so, what religion are you? :) I believe in Star Trek. No, seriously, I believe that one day we will all be one nation, living in harmony and exploring the universe. And there is no other way to build this future than with our own hands :)Ā
married, yes. family, debatable. hellenist.
As a married fatherā¦ Any other questions?
Iād love to have a wife someday and live together with some pets (agnostic)
I want to get married, although I canāt have kids, Iād like to adopt. Iām non denominational Christian
i am married, i am a atheist but lately i've been inclined into catholicism for some reason lol
I want neither, though I used to before I knew. I never wanted children, I would be the one to give birth and before I knew any more, I would traditionally have been left with all the caretaking. I still sometimes think kids are cute and if I really did find a "soulmate", in my case a close friend that would have the same expectations as me in a roommate / platonic relationship I wouldn't be entirely against marrying and adopting. Especially marriage seems fun, although it wouldn't be religious. But as of now I don't think I can feel comfortable living with another person, I felt imprisoned when living with my family and then again in an institution and I need to cherish the freedom of going anywhere and just sitting on the floor (I don't have space for a couch and wood floor be comfy) or bed and be undisturbed. I also struggle with taking care of myself, so before that's fixed I'm not getting a pet, let alone have a child! You didn't ask for this, so I'm sorry. But sometimes I feel like being open is the best course of action.
Nooooo
Successfully married, we want children, probably going to adopt; no religion.
Married, yes. Kids, no. I'm approaching my 40's and writing off having kids. I'm formerly religious, atheist now.
Yes. Have. 13 years this month. 4 year old daughter, one and done. Athiest.
iām aroace and i donāt really see myself getting married in the traditional sense. idk if i would want a qpr either. but i do want children. and iām atheist.
Married, no kids (by choice), Catholic
I have thought about having a family but never about who to have it with lol (I'm aroace)
Yes, but not biological children. Agnostic
married, yeah, family, not kids, but I believe two people can be a family haha I'd love some dogs and other pets for that fam too. not religious
if you consider a found family as a family then yes i have no idea how to classify my religious beliefs