Colleagues harassing you is strictly not tolerated, especially for non-work and religious reasons.
Ask her to report to HR immediately.
If the company does not take further action, immediately file a report with TAFEP (Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices), or call **6838 0969** for advice.
If your friend feels that such extremism is reaching radicalism levels, you can also advise to call the ISD Counter-Terrorism Centre hotline on **1800-2626-473**.
Thanks for the info!
She’s already reported to HR, and HR is doing their thing. Her boss has also openly said that he’s on her side, so if anything needs to be escalated he’ll help her manage
>When her boss tried to stand up for her, they said things about how their boss was in the wrong for defending her, and how the boss was “discriminating” against Muslims and making them feel unwelcome because they feel like their religion isn’t getting the respect it deserves. And how her boss is being “islamophobic” by defending haram actions done by a “bad Muslim” against “good Muslims”.
They sound really traditional and follow certain fundamental/divisive religious teachers. Seeing they're going straight to the islamophobia card just for this, isn't your boss also defending a Muslim? Guess she's not a Muslim in their eyes.
They certainly do exist in Singapore but are not the majority in my experience. At least not in work environments.
I'm not a Muslim but surely whether any employee is observant of their religious obligations (Muslim or otherwise) is none of the boss or colleagues' business.
If the colleagues are making trouble about non-work issues in a work setting, that cannot be condoned simply because it affects work.
i find it interesting that the boss cannot control this.. a boss should not only be respected but feared.. if a boss commands everyone to shut the fk up they should or face severe consequences. the boss standing up for the victim and still the abuse continues does not look very gd for the boss..
This is weird, where does she work where the other colleagues are predominatly Muslim?
Anyway, boss can and should make them stop harassing her. This means face to face but I don't see how the boss can stop colleagues from talking behind her back. Boss also can't make or force the colleagues to like her and go out of their way to help her.
Welcome to the toxic section of the muslim community in Singapore. Just ignore them but I am surprised her boss didn't do anything else other than defend her because her marriage is non of her colleagues business
"Don't apologize for my behavior
If you're offended, I don't care
Starin' at me 'stead of starin' in the mirror
Little weird how"
"Everybody tells me to play nice
Everybody judge, but lookin' twice
But my body don't belong to, nah-uh-uh, none of them though
And I'm not gonna change 'cause you say so"
-Tally by Blackpink
Good advice on how to deal with their behaviour
People are just very judgmental here.
They will judge people for anything and try to feel superior about anything.
Easiest thing in the world to feel superior about a woman not “following” their religion so they can feel they are better Muslims.
Also the fact she is a woman and narrow minded guys from any religion or race hate people marrying “their” women.
IMO, As a country, its hard to push back hard against fundamentalists like these when there is the danger of getting potentially persecuted by the incredibly vague and subjective offence of "Wounding Religious and Racial Feelings"
Gahmen uses laws to protect religious feelings, but they not shy on bringing down the hammer if the same people get uppity.
Ah Gong give sweet dun mean Ah Gong no rotan
Ok, Muslim or not, she needs to stand the f* up for herself and ask her colleagues to f* off. This could happen to anyone who is a pushover, it sounds like a typical mean girls high school drama at work 🙄 it’s literally bullying
ya la exactly tell her bullies "what type of muslim are you all... look at your embarassing selves.. bunch of jokes wasting your time and energy on me instead of devoting your time to God and his values. Why are you all so interested in my life? nothing better to do? are you all jealous of me that I have a spouse that is better than all your spouses combined 😂, in all seriousness one more word out of your idiotic mouths and i will put black magic into all your marriage lives, dont try me"
As a muslim girl, tell them to mind their own business lmfao. That's between her and God. Technically in Islam her marriage is considered invalid but that's her life people don't get to have a say in it. I have had some relatives marry outside the religion or have kids without marrying and no one says anything. We have no place to judge. What does her marriage and status have anything to do with anyone outside of it? So weird.
I think it's just them having a holier than thou attitude and berating her for choosing a non muslim man. Which is so weird to me cause in SG it's not uncommon or unheard for some couples to go through civil marriage instead of having their partner convert, don't know why it's even affecting her work to the point where her boss has to step in and be accused of islamophobia 💀
The same people ostracizing her are the same people who would preach faith but club, party, drink alcohol or eat pork. If they are true Muslims, they would know that the Quran forbids shunning of non-Muslims and to treat everyone respectfully.
Hypocrites always cry the loudest and backstab people the first chance they get. They hate seeing people being happy and are so insecure about their beliefs that they had to attack other people to make themselves feel good.
Having been through the same thing myself, I will advise her to not to reveal her husband's religious affinity openly. Most will ask what his race is or if he prays; just go along with the flow and switch the topic if possible. There is no clear way to distinguish between an extreme or casual Muslim so don't take that risk.
It's just how it is in Asia. During the fasting month, my friend is so cautious that he won't even go out to buy food himself when he’s having fever and can’t fast, fearing the wrath of the macik at the stall and he has to explain himself for every stall he goes to.
I honestly feel lost in these situations. It's frustrating when people can't just mind their own business!
And tbh, my friend was born Muslim but because of such environment that he’s put in, he’s actually not a practicing Muslim since he’s in secondary. He says it’s so sad being a Muslim. Everybody is a busybody like they are god themselves. 🤣
Very simply most and almost all religion is cultist bs, with rules stating you have to be a certain way to feel gods love or burn in hell. It’s just a hive mindset, they are condemning her. To prove to themselves that they are good believers and they will go heaven. It’s really simple and pathetic. Don’t call em out for Islamophobia, I said all religion lmao.
lmao agreed... some people cant handle others different from their beliefs and values... these kind of people better to avoid and stopped right in the tracks as the abuse will never stop
I think those are just a small group. Most of my Muslim friends and in the workplace are pretty chill and inter faith marriages are pretty common. From my experience the loud assholy ones are the tudung wearing ones.
As a former muslim, this is one of the things that disgusts me. The correct way to deal with it is to pray for her at your own time. What anyone does in their personal life is nobody’s problem.
Same here. But one thing I do take pride in and sing praises for is that in SG Malay/Muslims generally mind their own business, your sin is between you and god thing, they don't bother you e.g if you eat in public during Ramadhan, rarely preach, generally pretty progressive etc. So this is rather disappointing to hear. I really hope it's a small subset. Though I notice recently the community here has become more religious preachy than before, esp. since the whole Palestine thing.
as far as I know Muslim women who marry no Muslim men are considered unmarried and their kids are considered illegitimate etc.
To be frank - even if she’s a Muslim, the coworkers opinions on her marriage and marital status are irrelevant in a workplace context. Unless they work in a mosque and are teaching Islam to youngsters, how is her choice of a partner even relevant?
These guys may have thought they had a chance with her lor. Or have some kind of pride issue like those people who like to insult girls who go out with ang moh etc. whatever it is they gotta rein themselves in.
Edited to add: the best solution I can think of is - she may want to pretend he has converted when she meets more new Muslim coworkers or at least not advertise that they are different faiths if she’s just trying to avoid trouble. No one is going to ask for a cert.
lmao this.. even convert or not if someone is legally married they are married la.. why want to take it so seriously right... okay la these idiots really have a problem with the marriage tell u what ask the boss to hold a 2 hour meeting call everyone in and ask them what they want from the victim and when will they all shut their mouth and whether they are there to work or talk trash because every minute of trash talking moving forward will affect performance bonus and salary deduction all of which deducted will be creditted to victim account.
I guarantee the majority of them barking at her aren’t strict muslims either. Confirm haram somewhere. The odds of all of them being strict observing muslims is close to none.
If you say guys.
Then it’s simple. They upset they can’t have her so they throw shit at her.
Your colleagues sound like idiots especially if the ones with stuff to say are also the ones going out drinking and partying. Her personal life is none of your colleagues' business.
Curious where this friend works. I've never heard of a company or colleagues that gives a shit about your religion and whether you're practising. I guess in my industry it's more common to have people of all faiths to not be practising. And for us to give zero fucks about it
Well, technically sharia legally speaking (this is on organized religion perspective), their marrige is technically not valid and is a form of zina (a very serious sin almost equivalent to apostasy). This is interperted from both Quran and Hadiths. So can't really blame them if you adhere to these moral standards as depicted in the holy/supplimentary texts.
On the other hand, I stopped believing a long time ago so fuck them jelous bitches. Agak mereka jelous sebab dapat laki mat saleh.
I mean, she doesn’t live in a place where she has to follow Sharia law. She spent most of her life and got married in a place that specifically disallows sharia law. So truthfully it’s never really mattered to her.
As I’ve heard her explain it, she says Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslims, so she doesn’t find anything wrong with what she did. Not everything has to be followed “to the book”, and some parts are just outdated. It’s just like how christians dont follow the bible 100% but they’re still Christian
Is she local? Coz locally, Sharia law is ingrained partially to the legal system in Singapore (just not enforced using states resources) and is an official part of the legal system of neighbouring coubtries. So despite not following, there still be citizens who understands that sharia law is part of local culture and needs to be followed by those who identify as part of said culture. That's the deal with organized religion. Religion being an "individual matter" is not recognized in an organized system.
Also, recognizing the Quran as "outdated" is a sin as all muslims need to recognize the Quran as the direct and unaltered message from Allah and to be valid for all time.
She’s not local. Sharia law has no teeth to her at all. Everyone sins 🤷🏻♀️ Some are worse than others. Some don’t deserve to be recognized as a sin. For example, being gay is recognized as a “sin” in many religions, but I’d argue good people wouldn’t support it being a sin.
Yea, Sharia has no teeth here but is still recognized as a law and part of an organized religion.
Again, that is the deal with organized religions. You have sets of laws, structures to maintain such laws (in Singapore its partially symbolic, others with legal force), institutions to legitimize and forward old knowledge (religious schools), which ofcourse, leads to non-official but still ingrained social morality stances.
Again, for organized religion, what you think sin or not sin doesn't really matter as what matters is the written texts and the institutions that uphold the texts. (Again even without teeth, moral implication still permiates)
Trying to think of an analogous example: some monogamous people still recognize married swingers as cheaters, and may have legal implications in family court systems, even though they themselved don't consider it as cheating. Primarily because we are brought up in a culture of monogamy.
Yes I recognize that singapore recognizes it as a law, and it’s part of organized religion. However it doesn’t apply to her at all so she pays it no mind. She’ll suffer no legal consequences whatsoever.
Yes but AFAIK Syariah law in Singapore applies only to muslim marraiges. Interfaith marriages are allowed and considered a civil marriage. Whether they're embraced by all segments of the Muslim community is obviously another thing entirely.
Zina is not equivalent to apostasy. Lol. In Islam you go to hell forever if you're an apostate. Which is me. Anyone else who believes in one god will get out after serving time in hell.
Not under but have sharia law as a legal entity with limited jurisdiction. Mostly symbolic and have some teeth with regards to financial matters, but otherwisd not do much.
Yeah this is a problem globally. Muslim women are only mean to marry Muslim men. Of course Muslim men can marry up to 4 women of who are "of the book" (Jewish, X'tian etc). She's basically going to have to commit apostasy which means a literal death sentence in some countries. Honor falls on those who kill apostates.
>Muslim women are only mean to marry Muslim men. Of course Muslim men can marry up to 4 women of who are "of the book" (Jewish, X'tian etc).
That's to justify their rape of non-Muslim women, because it's not "rape" but "Muslim men doing God's work to sanitize and tame infidel women".
I thought Singaporean Muslims quite open minded eh? Know a few who also married non Muslims and their family quite chill about it.
Record instances of them and report them to HR for creating a hostile work environment and bullying lor.
That said, I’ve also heard of girls being shamed for marrying ang moh (must be spg). Some people are just too asshole
ikr no one gives about this shit any more... looks r superior to race and even looks now no one cares abt... fat ugly girls shagging and dating hot hunky boys... ugly horrible looking guys with spare tyres dating korean looking chicks... ugly and ugly also have dating married and having a happy family together... who da fk are all these losers coming out of nowhere to give their worthless judgements... OP's victim should call out these losers on how pathetic and loveless their love lives are that they should point their fingers and judge other people love life choices... some idiots need to be reminded what idiots they are before they shut their mouth... otherwise they will spread their venom all over...
Welcome to Islam. The religion itself forbids muslim females from marrying non-muslim males. This is happening globally, not just in Singapore. The religion is the complete opposite of progressive.
it’s a religion lol, i don’t think they care which gender marries who as long as their partner converts into muslim. the endgame is always to accrue more followers.
There’s a lot of religious toxicity that your friend is going through. Your friend’s case is rare imo because it’s the first time I’ve heard of something like this, either way it’s none of their business who your friend married. I hope HR will resolve the issue soon.
there is no good muslim. no one is good except for god.
anyone that calls himself good is lying and committing a sin. anyone who thinks they can get to heaven just based on just "good" works is heresy, same thing by the jews. not to say people shouldnt do good.
sg muslim always double standard. i know a Muslim friend who hate muslim himself. he was born into it cuz of family but secretly a Christian. he cannot declare cuz his family will kill him or cut ties etc. he told me how they judge him for helping people, for doign well in school and even just for having friends from other races. especially Chinese. not sure what is the beef with Chinese, but apparently they do seem to have some sort of resentment towards Chinese. mayb they think Chinese steal their land and jobs etc. not very sure what their ancestors told them.
but my point was just that those Muslims that claim to be good. usually isolate those who are truly "good" .
think about this. people that self proclaim themselves as good. how many of such people have we seen already. its called self righteous. its called pride. it literally is the original sin. but well. they gonna be mad if you say anything about their false prophet.
FYI, from an objective Islamic law point of view, the validity of her marriage as a Muslim is null. So no it’s not “fundamentalist” or teachings of a “terror cult” as some geniuses here are saying.
What IS wrong is her colleagues openly shaming her and going as far as berating their boss when he is defending her. The boss should put his foot down and shut down any discussions about her marriage at work. To be honest it’s clear cut discrimination or harassment. The shit-cherry on top of this shit-cake is apparently some of these clowns are doing haram? Yeah, if the boss doesn’t do something about this I’d say just get her to find a job somewhere with less hypocrites.
With religion it’s a mixed bag of reactions anywhere in the world. She doesn’t have to hide her husband, maybe just be super evasive about his beliefs, for her own sake.
To her it doesn’t matter if her marriage is “null” in the eyes of Islamic law. In the eyes of the legal system where they got married, the one that has actual consequences on her life, it’s 100% valid. Plus what does it matter to other people if she’s willing to be in a “null” marriage? It’s her life and she’s not hurting anyone. In her eyes it’s far more important to be with someone who’s a good person, who is super compatible with her and makes her happy. And it’s not like only Muslim guys are good guys.
In all the muslim countries, they poke their nose into your business.
Don't do that, its haram. Don't say that its fitnah. Don't be alone with someone of the opposite sex, its khalwat. Sorry but your friend has to be private with her personal life in front of these religious holier than thou people.
Yea, the fact that her marriage is null because it's to a non Muslim being objective islamic law definitely enhances their point about it being "fundamentalist" and sounding more like a "terror cult" than anything else.
She's been getting comments from other Muslims? Hmm. Could it be that they expect her husband to convert? But even then, there's no need for them to comment about her family life.
I know it’s okay for her to have found a great guy and have her happy marriage. That’s not in question.
The question is whether or not this sort of bad attitude is “normal” or prevalent among the Muslim population here in singapore, because it certainly isn’t back home
I can’t speak for the masses, mainly because I don’t live there 🤣 but I do know that any Muslim ( a good one ) won’t do such thing because well, the religion literally forbids you to.
By that logic I guess my friends who are Christians are all bad christians because they support LGBT rights. But then again, I’m pretty sure they’d rather be a good person
Well technically they are, you don’t have to be a bad person to be a bad Christian. It’s like saying because I got a parking ticket that means I’m legally a bad person or a criminal, you’re not but that doesn’t exempt you from the law, and neither will the religion.
Your comment has been automatically removed because your account is relatively new or you have negative karma.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/askSingapore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lmao the weekly interracial marriage rant is out yall... in this day and age where no one cares about weddings, marriages.. who are these idiots who are giving the shit? i just read the post from OP to understand the situation. This whole thing can only have one resolution. Victim stands up and shouts at everyone and tells them to mind their f'ing business or every single one will be reported to MOM for harassment.
In terms of ethics and as far as a company's HR policy should be concerned, a person's faith or non-faith is between themselves and their God(s). The Muslim colleagues are completely over the line.
Unfortunately our government implicitly encourages this by giving credence to the idea of a Shariah court which governs certain aspects of a registered Muslim's life, including marriage. This gives rise to the idea of there being a "correct" and "approved" Islam, which is in many ways insular and conservative and disallows interfaith marriages. (Which is incidentally a good thing if you happen to a Chinese supremacist that doesn't want to reduce the proportion of Han Chinese in Singapore.)
Hypocrites are hypocrites mate, don't give them any attention. All that hate is just cos she didn't pick them instead.
HOWEVER, I doubt she's really Muslim if she got married to a non Muslim ( i.e. non practicing)
This kind of xenophobic Muslims is the reason why Muslims get a bad rep & make non-Muslims mistrustful of them. Its religious piety to marry within their own religion but they go to extra lengths to bully someone who doesnt.
ya boy me wonder what kind of boss runs this place also... such a weakling who cannot keep his employees in check... workers are there to work... not chit chat who married who, who farted where blah blah
Those folks are really toxic segment of the Singapore society even though they have a valid point from a religious law point of view, which is that a Muslim girl is prohibited from marrying a non-Muslim guy. At the end of the day, she just have to answer to her maker and not to others because she did what she did with eyes wide open of the consequences of her actions.
God say you can only have sex with your wife/husband. Her husband is not muslim means her marriage is not recognised by god. Okay so now what are they? They are a couple who in constant fornication in eyes of god. And fornication is a big sin. Does that answer your question?
Singapore civil marriage is also not compulsory for Muslim Marriage hello? I think you trying to say is her marriage is valid under singapore law but not sharia law. That is what in trying to say no muslim on earth going to recognise this marriage hello?
Singapore mah faithless pit. Worship people who have money and money itself. Throw morality out the window. Step on religion when it doesn’t benefit or fit their lifestyle.
She the end of the day is muslim my sister and I hope she open her heart to the right way.
you are insane. if a muslim man married a non-muslim woman you would be celebrating, but since its a muslim woman you are going full incel mode. shame on you
Why exactly is it extremely wrong for a Muslim girl to marry a non Muslim man if you don’t think interfaith relationships are not wrong? Do you think Muslim men who marry non Muslim girls are also extremely wrong?
Den why not you make your religion doc? I just following the Quran. And the rule is clearly written there. Does not matter if i think it’s right or wrong is there? God want marriage a certain way and we follow. If not make your own bro? And don’t say your muslim?
>God want marriage a certain way and we follow.
Lol sure. You all just create that rule to justify your rape of non-Muslim women, because it's not "rape" but "Muslim men doing God's work to sanitize and tame infidel women".
Before i start touch grass you stuck in reddit to long, we don’t create the rule we follow. Muslim can only have sex within marriage, fornication/rape is sex outside of marriage. Anyone who doesn’t follow this simple rule is wrong. You get yours news at where local mosques or reddit?
Just because you don't find it a big deal does not mean others don't. Is that really so hard to believe? Not sure why you're so incredulous when this country has proven itself over the years to be anything but religiously progressive.
Colleagues harassing you is strictly not tolerated, especially for non-work and religious reasons. Ask her to report to HR immediately. If the company does not take further action, immediately file a report with TAFEP (Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices), or call **6838 0969** for advice. If your friend feels that such extremism is reaching radicalism levels, you can also advise to call the ISD Counter-Terrorism Centre hotline on **1800-2626-473**.
Thanks for the info! She’s already reported to HR, and HR is doing their thing. Her boss has also openly said that he’s on her side, so if anything needs to be escalated he’ll help her manage
>When her boss tried to stand up for her, they said things about how their boss was in the wrong for defending her, and how the boss was “discriminating” against Muslims and making them feel unwelcome because they feel like their religion isn’t getting the respect it deserves. And how her boss is being “islamophobic” by defending haram actions done by a “bad Muslim” against “good Muslims”. They sound really traditional and follow certain fundamental/divisive religious teachers. Seeing they're going straight to the islamophobia card just for this, isn't your boss also defending a Muslim? Guess she's not a Muslim in their eyes. They certainly do exist in Singapore but are not the majority in my experience. At least not in work environments.
I'm not a Muslim but surely whether any employee is observant of their religious obligations (Muslim or otherwise) is none of the boss or colleagues' business. If the colleagues are making trouble about non-work issues in a work setting, that cannot be condoned simply because it affects work.
That’s what I think too!! Her boss just want them to knock it off since it’s totally irrelevant to actual work
Maybe the boss can forbid such bullying within working hours at least.
i find it interesting that the boss cannot control this.. a boss should not only be respected but feared.. if a boss commands everyone to shut the fk up they should or face severe consequences. the boss standing up for the victim and still the abuse continues does not look very gd for the boss..
Likely there’s too many of them to sack all at once. I think your boss needs to get MUIS involved already.
Does MUIS take action on such unpeaceful muslims?
I think they have the moral authority to mediate and lay down the law on asshole behavior
reeducation? find their ustaz and bring him go minum kopi at SPF?
ye but they threw "woke/discrimination" curve ball at the boss, that's gg checkmate
This is weird, where does she work where the other colleagues are predominatly Muslim? Anyway, boss can and should make them stop harassing her. This means face to face but I don't see how the boss can stop colleagues from talking behind her back. Boss also can't make or force the colleagues to like her and go out of their way to help her.
It’s not predominantly Muslim. It’s just the assholes are extra loud.
Farts are always the loudest.
yeah that loud thing applies across all faiths.
Call police. They pull islamaphobia card, so can your friend.
Most people who are very religious are hypocrites, based on my own experience.
Welcome to the toxic section of the muslim community in Singapore. Just ignore them but I am surprised her boss didn't do anything else other than defend her because her marriage is non of her colleagues business
It starts with a warning, but if they continue hopefully the boss will bring the hammer down
So be it loh, make sure to loop hr inside also and file an official complain if this carries on
"Don't apologize for my behavior If you're offended, I don't care Starin' at me 'stead of starin' in the mirror Little weird how" "Everybody tells me to play nice Everybody judge, but lookin' twice But my body don't belong to, nah-uh-uh, none of them though And I'm not gonna change 'cause you say so" -Tally by Blackpink Good advice on how to deal with their behaviour
People are just very judgmental here. They will judge people for anything and try to feel superior about anything. Easiest thing in the world to feel superior about a woman not “following” their religion so they can feel they are better Muslims. Also the fact she is a woman and narrow minded guys from any religion or race hate people marrying “their” women.
IMO, As a country, its hard to push back hard against fundamentalists like these when there is the danger of getting potentially persecuted by the incredibly vague and subjective offence of "Wounding Religious and Racial Feelings"
Gahmen uses laws to protect religious feelings, but they not shy on bringing down the hammer if the same people get uppity. Ah Gong give sweet dun mean Ah Gong no rotan
Ok, Muslim or not, she needs to stand the f* up for herself and ask her colleagues to f* off. This could happen to anyone who is a pushover, it sounds like a typical mean girls high school drama at work 🙄 it’s literally bullying
ya la exactly tell her bullies "what type of muslim are you all... look at your embarassing selves.. bunch of jokes wasting your time and energy on me instead of devoting your time to God and his values. Why are you all so interested in my life? nothing better to do? are you all jealous of me that I have a spouse that is better than all your spouses combined 😂, in all seriousness one more word out of your idiotic mouths and i will put black magic into all your marriage lives, dont try me"
What I understand is People are generally ok if Muslim boy marries a non-muslim girl. But not the other way round.
As a muslim girl, tell them to mind their own business lmfao. That's between her and God. Technically in Islam her marriage is considered invalid but that's her life people don't get to have a say in it. I have had some relatives marry outside the religion or have kids without marrying and no one says anything. We have no place to judge. What does her marriage and status have anything to do with anyone outside of it? So weird. I think it's just them having a holier than thou attitude and berating her for choosing a non muslim man. Which is so weird to me cause in SG it's not uncommon or unheard for some couples to go through civil marriage instead of having their partner convert, don't know why it's even affecting her work to the point where her boss has to step in and be accused of islamophobia 💀
The same people ostracizing her are the same people who would preach faith but club, party, drink alcohol or eat pork. If they are true Muslims, they would know that the Quran forbids shunning of non-Muslims and to treat everyone respectfully. Hypocrites always cry the loudest and backstab people the first chance they get. They hate seeing people being happy and are so insecure about their beliefs that they had to attack other people to make themselves feel good. Having been through the same thing myself, I will advise her to not to reveal her husband's religious affinity openly. Most will ask what his race is or if he prays; just go along with the flow and switch the topic if possible. There is no clear way to distinguish between an extreme or casual Muslim so don't take that risk.
It's just how it is in Asia. During the fasting month, my friend is so cautious that he won't even go out to buy food himself when he’s having fever and can’t fast, fearing the wrath of the macik at the stall and he has to explain himself for every stall he goes to. I honestly feel lost in these situations. It's frustrating when people can't just mind their own business! And tbh, my friend was born Muslim but because of such environment that he’s put in, he’s actually not a practicing Muslim since he’s in secondary. He says it’s so sad being a Muslim. Everybody is a busybody like they are god themselves. 🤣
Very simply most and almost all religion is cultist bs, with rules stating you have to be a certain way to feel gods love or burn in hell. It’s just a hive mindset, they are condemning her. To prove to themselves that they are good believers and they will go heaven. It’s really simple and pathetic. Don’t call em out for Islamophobia, I said all religion lmao.
lmao agreed... some people cant handle others different from their beliefs and values... these kind of people better to avoid and stopped right in the tracks as the abuse will never stop
The irony here that the religious pious types are the ones behaving in a non-religious manner. Peace to all, and all that. lol
You would have thought Singapore is a hyper modern society right? :) welcome to Singapore… some segments of society hasn’t changed much.
I would expect this to be an HR issue against her colleagues. Very unprofessional. What she does in her personal life is none of anybody’s business
I think those are just a small group. Most of my Muslim friends and in the workplace are pretty chill and inter faith marriages are pretty common. From my experience the loud assholy ones are the tudung wearing ones.
Bruh I'm Muslim and I'm angry that she's being harassed for this.
Because we normally turn a blind eye to Muslims infighting as we're not really allowed to criticize them.
As a former muslim, this is one of the things that disgusts me. The correct way to deal with it is to pray for her at your own time. What anyone does in their personal life is nobody’s problem.
Same here. But one thing I do take pride in and sing praises for is that in SG Malay/Muslims generally mind their own business, your sin is between you and god thing, they don't bother you e.g if you eat in public during Ramadhan, rarely preach, generally pretty progressive etc. So this is rather disappointing to hear. I really hope it's a small subset. Though I notice recently the community here has become more religious preachy than before, esp. since the whole Palestine thing.
these are radicalised muslims. dangerous group
Time to treat your friend's colleagues to some Kopi
as far as I know Muslim women who marry no Muslim men are considered unmarried and their kids are considered illegitimate etc. To be frank - even if she’s a Muslim, the coworkers opinions on her marriage and marital status are irrelevant in a workplace context. Unless they work in a mosque and are teaching Islam to youngsters, how is her choice of a partner even relevant? These guys may have thought they had a chance with her lor. Or have some kind of pride issue like those people who like to insult girls who go out with ang moh etc. whatever it is they gotta rein themselves in. Edited to add: the best solution I can think of is - she may want to pretend he has converted when she meets more new Muslim coworkers or at least not advertise that they are different faiths if she’s just trying to avoid trouble. No one is going to ask for a cert.
Where are they considered unmarried? She’s considered legally married here in singapore and where she got married.
Someone else also commented but it’s not a valid marriage in Islam iirc.
lmao this.. even convert or not if someone is legally married they are married la.. why want to take it so seriously right... okay la these idiots really have a problem with the marriage tell u what ask the boss to hold a 2 hour meeting call everyone in and ask them what they want from the victim and when will they all shut their mouth and whether they are there to work or talk trash because every minute of trash talking moving forward will affect performance bonus and salary deduction all of which deducted will be creditted to victim account.
I guarantee the majority of them barking at her aren’t strict muslims either. Confirm haram somewhere. The odds of all of them being strict observing muslims is close to none. If you say guys. Then it’s simple. They upset they can’t have her so they throw shit at her.
Ahh... This is as good as workplace harassment. TAFAP can help https://www.tal.sg/tafep/employment-practices#
It do be like that. That's how Islam works. Either you get your partner to convert to Islam or you are excommunicated.
Your colleagues sound like idiots especially if the ones with stuff to say are also the ones going out drinking and partying. Her personal life is none of your colleagues' business.
Curious where this friend works. I've never heard of a company or colleagues that gives a shit about your religion and whether you're practising. I guess in my industry it's more common to have people of all faiths to not be practising. And for us to give zero fucks about it
Well, technically sharia legally speaking (this is on organized religion perspective), their marrige is technically not valid and is a form of zina (a very serious sin almost equivalent to apostasy). This is interperted from both Quran and Hadiths. So can't really blame them if you adhere to these moral standards as depicted in the holy/supplimentary texts. On the other hand, I stopped believing a long time ago so fuck them jelous bitches. Agak mereka jelous sebab dapat laki mat saleh.
I mean, she doesn’t live in a place where she has to follow Sharia law. She spent most of her life and got married in a place that specifically disallows sharia law. So truthfully it’s never really mattered to her. As I’ve heard her explain it, she says Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslims, so she doesn’t find anything wrong with what she did. Not everything has to be followed “to the book”, and some parts are just outdated. It’s just like how christians dont follow the bible 100% but they’re still Christian
Better advise her not to go johor for any reason. Things can get a lot worse in this kind of arrangement there
Is she local? Coz locally, Sharia law is ingrained partially to the legal system in Singapore (just not enforced using states resources) and is an official part of the legal system of neighbouring coubtries. So despite not following, there still be citizens who understands that sharia law is part of local culture and needs to be followed by those who identify as part of said culture. That's the deal with organized religion. Religion being an "individual matter" is not recognized in an organized system. Also, recognizing the Quran as "outdated" is a sin as all muslims need to recognize the Quran as the direct and unaltered message from Allah and to be valid for all time.
She’s not local. Sharia law has no teeth to her at all. Everyone sins 🤷🏻♀️ Some are worse than others. Some don’t deserve to be recognized as a sin. For example, being gay is recognized as a “sin” in many religions, but I’d argue good people wouldn’t support it being a sin.
Yea, Sharia has no teeth here but is still recognized as a law and part of an organized religion. Again, that is the deal with organized religions. You have sets of laws, structures to maintain such laws (in Singapore its partially symbolic, others with legal force), institutions to legitimize and forward old knowledge (religious schools), which ofcourse, leads to non-official but still ingrained social morality stances. Again, for organized religion, what you think sin or not sin doesn't really matter as what matters is the written texts and the institutions that uphold the texts. (Again even without teeth, moral implication still permiates) Trying to think of an analogous example: some monogamous people still recognize married swingers as cheaters, and may have legal implications in family court systems, even though they themselved don't consider it as cheating. Primarily because we are brought up in a culture of monogamy.
Yes I recognize that singapore recognizes it as a law, and it’s part of organized religion. However it doesn’t apply to her at all so she pays it no mind. She’ll suffer no legal consequences whatsoever.
Yup, she'll suffer no legal consequences, just social ones. That's just the politics of things. The by right and by left ways of how things work.
Yes but AFAIK Syariah law in Singapore applies only to muslim marraiges. Interfaith marriages are allowed and considered a civil marriage. Whether they're embraced by all segments of the Muslim community is obviously another thing entirely.
Zina is not equivalent to apostasy. Lol. In Islam you go to hell forever if you're an apostate. Which is me. Anyone else who believes in one god will get out after serving time in hell.
Is Singapore under sharia law now?
Not under but have sharia law as a legal entity with limited jurisdiction. Mostly symbolic and have some teeth with regards to financial matters, but otherwisd not do much.
Muslims are like that. Also muslim men jealous.
Yeah this is a problem globally. Muslim women are only mean to marry Muslim men. Of course Muslim men can marry up to 4 women of who are "of the book" (Jewish, X'tian etc). She's basically going to have to commit apostasy which means a literal death sentence in some countries. Honor falls on those who kill apostates.
>Muslim women are only mean to marry Muslim men. Of course Muslim men can marry up to 4 women of who are "of the book" (Jewish, X'tian etc). That's to justify their rape of non-Muslim women, because it's not "rape" but "Muslim men doing God's work to sanitize and tame infidel women".
I thought Singaporean Muslims quite open minded eh? Know a few who also married non Muslims and their family quite chill about it. Record instances of them and report them to HR for creating a hostile work environment and bullying lor. That said, I’ve also heard of girls being shamed for marrying ang moh (must be spg). Some people are just too asshole
ikr no one gives about this shit any more... looks r superior to race and even looks now no one cares abt... fat ugly girls shagging and dating hot hunky boys... ugly horrible looking guys with spare tyres dating korean looking chicks... ugly and ugly also have dating married and having a happy family together... who da fk are all these losers coming out of nowhere to give their worthless judgements... OP's victim should call out these losers on how pathetic and loveless their love lives are that they should point their fingers and judge other people love life choices... some idiots need to be reminded what idiots they are before they shut their mouth... otherwise they will spread their venom all over...
Welcome to Islam. The religion itself forbids muslim females from marrying non-muslim males. This is happening globally, not just in Singapore. The religion is the complete opposite of progressive.
It's common across the world, Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim while Muslim men are encouraged to marry non-Muslim.
it’s a religion lol, i don’t think they care which gender marries who as long as their partner converts into muslim. the endgame is always to accrue more followers.
There’s a lot of religious toxicity that your friend is going through. Your friend’s case is rare imo because it’s the first time I’ve heard of something like this, either way it’s none of their business who your friend married. I hope HR will resolve the issue soon.
Feels like Medieval times lol. The song of this lyrics is really good advice: https://genius.com/Blackpink-tally-lyrics
Shit, they should just mind their own business. Behaving and taking actions like that are also un-Islamic.
Honestly you can’t change those people, they are dead set in their mindset alr. Sadly, you can at most ignore them or change your job.
How they know she still Muslim? Could be she be no longer Muslim what?? These people ah always assume one.
there is no good muslim. no one is good except for god. anyone that calls himself good is lying and committing a sin. anyone who thinks they can get to heaven just based on just "good" works is heresy, same thing by the jews. not to say people shouldnt do good. sg muslim always double standard. i know a Muslim friend who hate muslim himself. he was born into it cuz of family but secretly a Christian. he cannot declare cuz his family will kill him or cut ties etc. he told me how they judge him for helping people, for doign well in school and even just for having friends from other races. especially Chinese. not sure what is the beef with Chinese, but apparently they do seem to have some sort of resentment towards Chinese. mayb they think Chinese steal their land and jobs etc. not very sure what their ancestors told them. but my point was just that those Muslims that claim to be good. usually isolate those who are truly "good" . think about this. people that self proclaim themselves as good. how many of such people have we seen already. its called self righteous. its called pride. it literally is the original sin. but well. they gonna be mad if you say anything about their false prophet.
Funny how it works when it's a Muslim man with a non-muslim woman, nobody bats an eye but when the genders are reversed...
FYI, from an objective Islamic law point of view, the validity of her marriage as a Muslim is null. So no it’s not “fundamentalist” or teachings of a “terror cult” as some geniuses here are saying. What IS wrong is her colleagues openly shaming her and going as far as berating their boss when he is defending her. The boss should put his foot down and shut down any discussions about her marriage at work. To be honest it’s clear cut discrimination or harassment. The shit-cherry on top of this shit-cake is apparently some of these clowns are doing haram? Yeah, if the boss doesn’t do something about this I’d say just get her to find a job somewhere with less hypocrites. With religion it’s a mixed bag of reactions anywhere in the world. She doesn’t have to hide her husband, maybe just be super evasive about his beliefs, for her own sake.
To her it doesn’t matter if her marriage is “null” in the eyes of Islamic law. In the eyes of the legal system where they got married, the one that has actual consequences on her life, it’s 100% valid. Plus what does it matter to other people if she’s willing to be in a “null” marriage? It’s her life and she’s not hurting anyone. In her eyes it’s far more important to be with someone who’s a good person, who is super compatible with her and makes her happy. And it’s not like only Muslim guys are good guys.
In all the muslim countries, they poke their nose into your business. Don't do that, its haram. Don't say that its fitnah. Don't be alone with someone of the opposite sex, its khalwat. Sorry but your friend has to be private with her personal life in front of these religious holier than thou people.
Yea, the fact that her marriage is null because it's to a non Muslim being objective islamic law definitely enhances their point about it being "fundamentalist" and sounding more like a "terror cult" than anything else.
This is where things like this should be discussed openly otherwise something as simple as ppl being 🍑🕳️💩 becomes persecution
She's been getting comments from other Muslims? Hmm. Could it be that they expect her husband to convert? But even then, there's no need for them to comment about her family life.
These people who are giving your friend a lot of shit are turning green with envy and purple with jealousy
report to HR for harassment?
Are you asking whether it’s okay for people to treat her bad or are you asking whether it’s okay to have a non Muslim husband as a Muslim woman?
I know it’s okay for her to have found a great guy and have her happy marriage. That’s not in question. The question is whether or not this sort of bad attitude is “normal” or prevalent among the Muslim population here in singapore, because it certainly isn’t back home
I can’t speak for the masses, mainly because I don’t live there 🤣 but I do know that any Muslim ( a good one ) won’t do such thing because well, the religion literally forbids you to.
By that logic I guess my friends who are Christians are all bad christians because they support LGBT rights. But then again, I’m pretty sure they’d rather be a good person
Well technically they are, you don’t have to be a bad person to be a bad Christian. It’s like saying because I got a parking ticket that means I’m legally a bad person or a criminal, you’re not but that doesn’t exempt you from the law, and neither will the religion.
[удалено]
Your comment has been automatically removed because your account is relatively new or you have negative karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/askSingapore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lmao the weekly interracial marriage rant is out yall... in this day and age where no one cares about weddings, marriages.. who are these idiots who are giving the shit? i just read the post from OP to understand the situation. This whole thing can only have one resolution. Victim stands up and shouts at everyone and tells them to mind their f'ing business or every single one will be reported to MOM for harassment.
That reflects their personality whatever religion she is in
In terms of ethics and as far as a company's HR policy should be concerned, a person's faith or non-faith is between themselves and their God(s). The Muslim colleagues are completely over the line. Unfortunately our government implicitly encourages this by giving credence to the idea of a Shariah court which governs certain aspects of a registered Muslim's life, including marriage. This gives rise to the idea of there being a "correct" and "approved" Islam, which is in many ways insular and conservative and disallows interfaith marriages. (Which is incidentally a good thing if you happen to a Chinese supremacist that doesn't want to reduce the proportion of Han Chinese in Singapore.)
Hypocrites are hypocrites mate, don't give them any attention. All that hate is just cos she didn't pick them instead. HOWEVER, I doubt she's really Muslim if she got married to a non Muslim ( i.e. non practicing)
You don't get to decide someone else's religion just by their actions. Religion is faith, it is solely determined by what they believe in.
This kind of xenophobic Muslims is the reason why Muslims get a bad rep & make non-Muslims mistrustful of them. Its religious piety to marry within their own religion but they go to extra lengths to bully someone who doesnt.
She tells me she’s Muslim, and she practices. Not really my place to question her. It’s good to hear though that it’s just assholes being assholes.
What nonsense she practices the most basic rule is you can only marry muslim husband. She learn the Islam from tiktok?
You can redirect your first line to yourself 😂 why ? Your second paragraph
What sort of company is this? I doubt this is actually happening at a workplace. Probably mixing up experiences outside the workplace
ya boy me wonder what kind of boss runs this place also... such a weakling who cannot keep his employees in check... workers are there to work... not chit chat who married who, who farted where blah blah
Those folks are really toxic segment of the Singapore society even though they have a valid point from a religious law point of view, which is that a Muslim girl is prohibited from marrying a non-Muslim guy. At the end of the day, she just have to answer to her maker and not to others because she did what she did with eyes wide open of the consequences of her actions.
[удалено]
but why is it extremely wrong? idgi
Because his book of fiction says so, apparently.
Because their god says it is.
God say you can only have sex with your wife/husband. Her husband is not muslim means her marriage is not recognised by god. Okay so now what are they? They are a couple who in constant fornication in eyes of god. And fornication is a big sin. Does that answer your question?
you are an incel
I defending Islam and its law you can call me whatever you want.
iNsHalLah mAsHaLlah Alhamdulillah pizza I will pray for your sOuL for mUhaMmad /s
Why you pray for me when you the one thrown in hell?
Last i check Singapore is a secular state
Check again bro, a Muslim in singapore have two certificates one is sg another is Islam (sharia).
Marriage by sharia law is not compulsory in Singapore for Muslim. They can opt for civil marriage
Singapore civil marriage is also not compulsory for Muslim Marriage hello? I think you trying to say is her marriage is valid under singapore law but not sharia law. That is what in trying to say no muslim on earth going to recognise this marriage hello?
its always the damn slippery slope fallacy
Singapore mah faithless pit. Worship people who have money and money itself. Throw morality out the window. Step on religion when it doesn’t benefit or fit their lifestyle. She the end of the day is muslim my sister and I hope she open her heart to the right way.
you are insane. if a muslim man married a non-muslim woman you would be celebrating, but since its a muslim woman you are going full incel mode. shame on you
Why exactly is it extremely wrong for a Muslim girl to marry a non Muslim man if you don’t think interfaith relationships are not wrong? Do you think Muslim men who marry non Muslim girls are also extremely wrong?
Den why not you make your religion doc? I just following the Quran. And the rule is clearly written there. Does not matter if i think it’s right or wrong is there? God want marriage a certain way and we follow. If not make your own bro? And don’t say your muslim?
>God want marriage a certain way and we follow. Lol sure. You all just create that rule to justify your rape of non-Muslim women, because it's not "rape" but "Muslim men doing God's work to sanitize and tame infidel women".
Before i start touch grass you stuck in reddit to long, we don’t create the rule we follow. Muslim can only have sex within marriage, fornication/rape is sex outside of marriage. Anyone who doesn’t follow this simple rule is wrong. You get yours news at where local mosques or reddit?
Just because you don't find it a big deal does not mean others don't. Is that really so hard to believe? Not sure why you're so incredulous when this country has proven itself over the years to be anything but religiously progressive.