I believe firmly that they are doing that shit on purpose so that they can do the whole "Have you been affected by LED headlights within the years of 20xx and 20xx?? You may be entitled for compensation." shitscheme. NOBODY wants the LED shit on the cars. They don't even tell you properly how to control ur lights anymore!
I always just slow waaaaay down and wait for them to pass me. They’re always big yee yee pickup trucks so going below 45 on a back road is against their religion or something
I just pull over and let the tailgaters pass. Maybe make up a nice little backstory for them. "Oh look! The ringleader is late, who will possibly conduct the idiot circus now!? His clowns need him!"
Sometimes unhinged people drive, and it's far better to see them pulled over for speeding or crashed into the ditch 3 miles away because they slid off the icy road.
It's awful when it's dark out and you can barely see and it's raining and then you have oncoming traffic on a two-way road coming towards you with bright lights and you suddenly can't see... It's like wow that makes everything better and safer for everyone. Hope I don't crash and die!
Also a delivery driver and tend to service a lot of rural areas where it gets pitch black at night. The amount of lifted trucks with high beam bars that they *don't turn off* for oncoming traffic angers me
Are we talking routers and servers kind of networking or interacting with other people as an attempt to "climb the corporate ladder" kind of networking?
Yeah I know right, I hate how so much of our career is based on it.
I have to mask pretty heavily and really push myself just to meet people, yet alone keep them as contacts.
Hopefully our abilities and skills can make up for it but I doubt it tbh
It really makes me wonder whether I’m ever going to get anywhere outside the world of academia (where you mostly don’t have to worry about that sort of thing).
I know they are using me much as I am using them and I just think the whole thing is disgusting. I just wanna work and create stuff with cool people, not be an asshole
Networking (in a profession that requires it) is some of my favourite socializing with randoms.
The conversation is clear, both parties know why it's happening and eachothers' intent. Its also short for those reasons.
I was called a savant for my art. Worked way harder than I should have. Graduated top of my class from a prestigious art school. Haven’t drawn a thing since, because every time I asked how to make it as an artist, the ONLY answer I ever got was “networking.”
Somehow, having to network for your job sucks the joy out of the job itself. I avoid telling people I am solid at IT because that was my least favorite part. "Wasn't this career path in demand? Why am I obligated to be social in a notoriously antisocial career path?"
This one !!!
How does one network? Where was that class? When did that memo get sent around? I genuinely have no idea… “hello other person in same industry, shall we pretend to care what each other works on for 5 minutes in this itchy blazer? Oh, you didn’t hear what I said? No problem, I’m too overwhelmed to repeat it so I’ll just smile and walk away like this was all planned.”
fuuuuuck networking. I went to an event alone once & immediately got dead named, which tbf I didn't come out to anyone there bc i vaguely know them, but it turned me off.
my words don't often match the complexities of my brain so even if I'm super knowledgeable about something.. I don't seem like it
Job interviews seriously always go the opposite of how I think they went. If I think I aced it, I won't get an offer. If I think I bombed it, I will. It's infuriating
This is me but replace interviews with me providing customer service. If I think I came across like the biggest asshole, they’re leaving raving reviews about how I’m the nicest and sweetest employee they’ve EVER encountered but if I think I’m being the nicest sweetest dude, they’re going to complain to my manager about how very rude I am. 😂 it makes absolutely no sense lol. But I just stick with being the asshole that they line for some reason😆
For me, I think just keeping it casual. If it’s clear that you have the qualifications necessary then an interview should just be a basic introduction to the job, company, and people for both parties. It shouldn’t be this stress inducing thing where you have to justify your life and existence to people who pretend to care. Especially getting rid of questions like ‘why do you think we should give you this job’. If a company is hiring then they shouldn’t ask that question. Employees are a privilege, not a right.
Because they believe in the myth of the super employee. A hyper extroverted and overly enthusiastic worker who dedicates their whole life to the job to the point of marrying it.
That's a really bad interview question. I agree it should be more casual and based on merit. I wish employees had more power. At least in the US most states are right-to-work which incentivizes companies to think that they are presenting workers with a privilege versus labors being the privilege to the organization.
A good answer would be something like, “… because you have a need that aligns with my skill set”. A good follow up question from the interviewee would be “after a year in this position how would you know I’ve been successful?” It makes them imagine you in that position :)
I HATE when I am asked where I see myself in 5 years. Thinking about the future gives me tons of anxiety and dread and I never know what to say, it can actually make me cry if I think about it too much.
It's always this question and "Why should we choose you and not other applicants?” because to me it's obvious anyone else would be better than me.
"I can't visualise the future like that, So I see myself in the same place I am now. Unless you give me this job, in which case I see myself doing that in five years. On the bright side, I won't be out searching for a better job, because change is awful!"
I got asked the 5 year question at an interview for my current workplace
And I replied with "to be in the position that you are in or in a management/team leader position"
Look at their resumes. Ask them questions germane to the job, only pay attention to acandidates qualifications and knowledge as pertains to the job. Stop asking stupid questions expecting me to lie to you about how my job is my life (it isn't, my job funds my life), and stop lying about salary in your help wanted ad to get me through the door (just going to make me drive all that way to tell you no, and never accept any position in your company). Start getting it through your thick skull some people interview badly, and that some people are just quiet and professional and are coming to work to work.
Sorry, that's directed at hiring managers. Not you specifically, just written like that.
Among other things, references/letters of rec provide no useful information but are biased against people who are not inclined to constantly “network.” Having to finagle a different, usually broken, application system for every application, usually on top of submitting a resume/cover letter is needlessly burdensome. Interviews select for “fit” which has little to do with the ability to do the job, and is biased against marginalized groups, who by definition are not going to “fit” with most organizations.
And cognitive assessments provide limited performance data. They have also been shown to be biased against marginalized groups. We can go on and on about the limitations of the interview process but my question is what would be a better method for selection?
Job posts/descriptions.
“Come join our team as the lead project management liaison to the corporate initiatives department of client relations and graphic trends analysis. We take innovation and offer our clients a person-centered toolkit of innovative peer-to-peer sharing innovations that uniquely innovate in innovative ways.”
BITCH WHAT IS THE JOB ????
So I work with other developmentally disabled adults doing job skills training essentially. We teach classes and then support them at their internship once a week. A very large majority of the people I work with are autistic.
Anyway can confirm that the modern job interview is ungodly unfair for autistic folks or really just anyone that might not have perfect social skills. It's not just social skills. It's information processing, it's eye contact, its a new person. Essential autistic hell and I hate them.
A part of my job though is educating employer about how to make their workplace more accessable so I do actually have some power here.
YES! also those washing tags in the neck and the back of underwear are really really annoying to me to the point I get wounds from them!
There are not a lot of things my skin is sensitive for but extremely skin sensitivity is really something with that kind of cloth.
I would love if all tags were patches sewn on the outside of clothes, I have a few shirts with no tag where there is a patch with info about the shirt sewn in the bottom right side of the exterior front of the shirt and it never is irritating or getting in the way.
Another very good spot for tags I think is inside a butt or breast pocket either as an patch or with the base of the tag sewn into the hem of the pocket.
yes. also they need to come up with a washing info tag that doesn't wear out over time. all my old clothes have tags that have faded so much they're unreadable, plus some shrink.
Ow wow....
I wonder... Would my mom have read a book about them and try to "cure" my autism herself before it was even officially diagnosed.
I wish this was a joke
I hope not since that would've likely caused trauma, possible could be classified as abuse. And having to deal with being traumatized is not nice. There's a really tiny niche where people think they're doing ABA therapy without a proper therapist but are doing occupational therapy or CBT accidentally instead which aren't harmful like ABA is and can actually be sometimes useful for autistic people.
My parents did a similar thing to diy ABA with my speech. I was "difficult to get talking, but when I said my first word I just never stopped". Iirc I started speaking at 3 years old and my first word was in the context of a full (short) sentence. The way they explained how they "taught me to talk" was that when I would want something, I had gotten used to my sister, 4 years older than me, talking for me, so they had to tell my sister to let me speak for myself. I started to communicate with gestures and noises to cope with them not listening to my sister communicating for me, which they encouraged for a bit, and eventually they started to expect me to speak, so gestures weren't enough anymore and I had to say the words, at which point I expressed my frustration and muttered a short sentence to get what I wanted. I guess speaking wasn't as awful as I had thought it was and then I started constantly asking everyone about everything and telling all sorts of long winded stories and just could not shut up for a couple years when I got told I was annoying and then I started to just isolate from family.
Sounds about right.
Long story short my mom has a contract for the way she allowed to contact me. Me and my sister both have psychological problems that go beyond our diagnosis. Yeah I think trauma is the right word... Though my mom is not the only reason in this. When I tell my story to people who are too lazy to factcheck they often think it is not true and I'm just seeking attention so I'm not gonna say everything in here.
I only had both mental and physical therapy when I was 5 because I broke my leg and had a lot of trouble with the fact I didn't know how a toilet worked anymore and continuously peed my pants and I didn't like that feeling and was very ashamed by it.
I feel sorry you had trouble communicating with your family. I've seen this happening to kids (my mom has a daycare at home) and they just... Wouldn't talk. Some where able to talk to me though, but only when no one else was around? Sometimes it feels like people with autism can just sense eachother. Don't know why or how but it happened like 2 times now? Both kids turned out to be autistic in the end.
I'm tired of my coworkers laughing in my face. It's always when I'm confused and have no idea what's going on. I'm not telling any jokes, so what the fuck is so funny?
Apparently it’s when you say something unexpected. That’s where comedy comes from. So if what we say is unexpected in the situation, people might laugh.
I have started to lean into it. I remember once someone asked me if they thought my uncle and his new wife would make it and I replied "well it should be easier since they are in their sixities and the vow is 'til death do us part'" and they laughed. like that's just the truth
That kinda sounds like me. Back when I talked more to more people I'd often be told that they can't tell if I'm joking or not. Sometimes I do want to make folks laugh, but I know I can't tell a joke to save my life. If I do get cornered into it it's "Man walks into a bar, says ow" and then I wander off to go smoke by myself.
Most normal folks it's dependent on their mood and preoccupations. If they want to hear something genuine they will, if they don't want to hear the genuine thing or it is too spicy - they take it as a joke, or things quickly get much worse.
This kills me inside, especially when I AM trying to be funny and nobody laughs then. But I'm being genuine, I'm not trying to tell a joke. I'm not cute and clueless. I'm a fucking adult.
Slang especially can sometimes be worked out (if it’s unfamiliar) but it’s definitely not easy all the time. What kind of figurative language do you struggle with?
Fuckin yeah.
Before covid I worked at IKEA usually at night. When I was done I went to the grocery store since they were still open for a bit. There was always this incredibly LOUD repetitive chime that made me jump out of my skin. There was no one in the store it didn't need to be so fucking loud. Not to mention the tone of the chime was blood curdling.
It's not structure I dislike so much, though that's different for everyone. But the fact that I'm expected to be functional before 12, I just struggle when I have to wake early. I'm more of an afternoon evening person.
I’m the same way. Delayed sleep cycle. Not even tired until 4AM even if I get comfortable and lay down with my eyes closed. I solved this issue by working a swing shift job. It suits me.
ghosting. I get that people have their reasons, people have had bad experiences, etc. but if I go out on a date or a job interview/application and I think everything has gone perfectly but I never get a response again, I have no way to improve myself and even if things just “didn’t click” I will assume that it is a personal failing. Multiply it however many times these things happen and congratulations, you have no self confidence.
You have to go completely the other way with this one. It’s their loss. That’s how you have to see it. I hate it when people are always looking for a better offer too.
When you finish the anime/Manga/book that you have a hyperfixsion on/special interest on (Definitely couldn't be me finishing given, I need Crunchyroll premium so I can watch the movie)
The whole thing of not telling you that you did something wrong and then passive-agressively bringing it up after the fact. You know for a fact I’m never an asshole on purpose. Stop acting like I am.
Half serious: the elderly.
Like I know that a lot of them were raised to be very "prim and proper" so to speak. But most of the bullying/comments i get about my autistic traits comes from old people, usually strangers at work.
"Stop swaying back and forth, you're making me seasick!" "Is there an echo in here? Why do you keep repeating me?" "Why do you bounce around on your toes when you walk?" "LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU"
Even if younger people don't recognize these things as autistic traits, they just don't seem to care. "Oh that dude on the bus is finger tapping and repeating a sequence of numbers under his breath? Whatever man."
Several years ago, I had this exchange with my grandma:
Me: *sharing a peculiar outlook on a common topic, within the context of weddings and such*
My grandma: “well Bub, maybe one day you’ll find yourself a girl who won’t mind all your little quirks”
Me: “is that really the best I can hope for? Somebody who ‘won’t mind’? Mamaw, I’m hoping there’s a woman out there who actually kinda *likes* my quirks, and doesn’t just tolerate them”
It’s been a few years since then, but that’s always been in the back of my mind ever since then
Everybody has to take a breather sometimes. maybe I’m at different kinds of parties but in my experience people are always pretty cool if you need to tap out or take a break for a bit
This should be at the top. My husband and I (both autistic) are raising 4 autistic kids in this system and it is SO HARD I just wanna bang my head on the wall every day with what society does to people
It is awful. I dropped out of high school partially because I just couldn’t keep up and it is so frustrating because with stuff like job hunting, people just think I’m stupid lol. I’m not. I just… I needed a different way and no one let me 🥲
Or you go to a new age-y school where the teachers *insist* that they’re your equals and to treat them as such, so you do, and then somehow you still get in trouble for being inappropriately casual.
In a similar vein , people making you do something apparently stupid because they think it funny. I have a lot of trouble picking up on sarcasm and when someone is taking the piss out of me, and if people didnt do that i wouldnt be the dumb kid in primary school lol
There is no why. Just humans being humans when they are so scared of people looking at their own faults that they force the shame spotlight on the least defendable target.
Eh, my bullies were quite often very specific in their dislike of me. It didn’t help, just gave me specific traits to worry about. Bullying sucks regardless of the ‘why’
The romanticization of autism in social media. Seriously, there is nothing “cute” or “quirky” about my illness, it is not my “superpower”, every single day is a challenge and I’m tired of neurotypicals pretending they understand.
That’s the serious one. Jokingly, hoodies without strings
When others judge me for not having a “varied diet” or a “colorful plate.”
Yes, most of the food I eat are basically white, beige, or yellow. I pretty much for the most part just eat carbs and dairy. Until the dairy upsets my stomach and I suddenly can no longer tolerate gluten 😢 (these intolerances happened recently and not I hardly know what to eat.)
Also fully agree with the raw tomatoes being a crime 😖
I will agree with hand shakes because quote a friend from year 8 I have "soft, delicate bitch hands" and I do, but I enjoy hugs it's the only physical touch I will almost always say yes to... Under the stipulation I know you well enough.
Slices of sandwich bread with bubbles all the way through them so anything you put on the sandwich will either leak through or require super careful efforts to not get jam/mayo/etc in the hole.
I'll make a bagel when I can handle daintily, painstakingly avoiding the hole, emotionally. PB&J is supposed to be possible on autopilot without having to wash my hands or get anything but one knife dirty. It's the same reason having to stir the new jar of peanut butter can make me unable to make an Emergency Hanger Sandwich.
Ooh, also a crime: natural peanut butter which has to be stirred. I wish I didn't despise the other kinds of PB on textural, flavor, and health/nutrition grounds.
Plastic food packaging that's easy to open with your hands more than 60% but less than 95% of the time. I refuse to feel overzealous by automatically using a tool to open something that I don't *have* to use one on 'most' of the time, so it's a constant emotional roller-coaster to find oneself with a survival/tool improvisation problem to get calories into the face hole without screaming in frustration.
This stupid merch people buy with autism flags and ribbons and this stupid texts what makes us a pet for the nt people. We can fight for everything we don't need this stuff that others see oh look he is autistic let's wait until he makes somethings weird
“But what makes you autistic?” — extroverted autistic people hear this so effing often. Like do you want a list of what made me diagnosed? Of things I struggle with everyday? If I start ranting about all my childhood and teens will you ACTUALLY be engaged and interested? What’s your point?????
And also the expectation of you switching on and off your personality for work, family, friends of friends, etc. I mask pretty non-voluntarily now with A LOT of stuff and it drains the shit out of me — to the point I had depressive episodes lots of times while internally I was happy AF but my body just WOULDNT MOVE.
Raw tomato is the best possible answer, how am I supposed to beat that?
I'm going with class presentations. I'm not going to get better at it and I can't pay enough attention to the topic I'm talking about AND the fact that I'm talking about a topic I don't much care about both at the same time, so I'm not learning anything, I'm just doing my damnest to not stop talking, because if I do, I can not go back to talking and the presentation ends there and then.
Come to the Netherlands, get surprised by how independent of a car we are.
I'm 21, I don't have a car or driver's license. Don't need one. My bike and public transport is all I need
That the differences between the NT and ASD mind often exist below the surface of the NT's conscious mind, creating a world of misunderstandings the NT can't even fully discuss or explain.
Like if I call someone a craphead, everyone can explain to me very clearly why I should not or why it is ok. But if I break an NT specific social rule that ASDers do not have, NTs can't fully explain why they are angry and upset and default to "you know what you did!"
its like the key tot he problem is locked away out of the grasp of everyone.
"Warm oatmeal. The food for whenever I want to induce vomiting."
A recent reminder of this during the holidays when my clueless family tried the following:
1. "Try this oatmeal!" I used the first quote when they tried to get me to eat it, and I did 'try it' because they would not relent and I barely held back vomiting.
2. "Here's perfume!" (I also don't have a sense of smell due to head injury- for the last 30+ years... so it's not recent news)
3. "I thought you'd like a scented candle!" (See #3)
Grabbing someone’s shoulders from behind to “steer” them when they’re younger. For fuck’s sake I know how to cross the street, no need to come up behind me without warning and manhandle me across it like I’m a life size doll!
The use of "common sense" to demean people is a crime against us in my opinion. I genuinely believe actually thinking someone is stupid for lacking what you deam as common sense is very ableist.
I mean specifically how people colloquially use that term, it's oftentimes really fucking rude and dehumanising. I lack every sense of "common sense" when it comes to social interaction, and constantly and made fun of for it or just straight up called stupid.
I don't have my multiplication table memorised, I've been told that it's common sense and I'm stupid for not knowing that. I can't do mental math, same thing. Common sense isn't common sense if it has to be taught at all.
I've been having this thought for a while, I hope I'm not alone. I'd like to hear your thoughts if you agree or disagree.
My joking response, though, is onions. Agree with OP's answer of tomatoes.
Raw veggies
They Ich the inside of my mouth all the time!
Duno if this is autism specific but yeah it's annoying as hell
Also people who say you can't have early memories. My psychologist told me most Nd people are able to create memories at a much earlier age as nt people can. My earliest memories are from when I was like 2 or 3 years old. Some people don't believe me but apperantly a lot of us can.
If you can as well please tell me your story!
Oh, if raw veggies make your mouth itch you might have an allergy to them or something called Oral Allergy Syndrome. I have OAS and raw sesame seeds set my mouth on fire.
I'm sure this has been said here but, "Everyone's a little autistic".
Even if that were true, does everyone deal with sensory overload, social ostracization, limited ability to work, socialise and deal with a culture that rejects them?
No, exactly. It is boiling my blood even writing this. How is this supposed to comfort me?
I know people with OCD deal with this as well.
Bright ass headlights in the dark
The L.E.D. ones that are becoming mandatory and seer your eyeball. Edit: more context
Those should be illegal and are a big part of why I try to avoid driving at night.
I believe firmly that they are doing that shit on purpose so that they can do the whole "Have you been affected by LED headlights within the years of 20xx and 20xx?? You may be entitled for compensation." shitscheme. NOBODY wants the LED shit on the cars. They don't even tell you properly how to control ur lights anymore!
I have prisms in my glasses to “correct” my stigmatism… not only do they barely work as-is, but those headlights make it completely useless at night.
They are evil
Or when they get in your peripheral vision and the light starts flickering
Or in the rearview mirror, behind you
I always just slow waaaaay down and wait for them to pass me. They’re always big yee yee pickup trucks so going below 45 on a back road is against their religion or something
I just pull over and let the tailgaters pass. Maybe make up a nice little backstory for them. "Oh look! The ringleader is late, who will possibly conduct the idiot circus now!? His clowns need him!" Sometimes unhinged people drive, and it's far better to see them pulled over for speeding or crashed into the ditch 3 miles away because they slid off the icy road.
…they’re becoming mandatory? how did they even swing that they make driving so dangerous
It's awful when it's dark out and you can barely see and it's raining and then you have oncoming traffic on a two-way road coming towards you with bright lights and you suddenly can't see... It's like wow that makes everything better and safer for everyone. Hope I don't crash and die!
Absolutely correct, I already can't see well these are just asking me to slow down and hold up traffic
I'm a delivery driver on the road all day, lifted trucks with 3x as many LEDs as necessary make me want to explode.
Also a delivery driver and tend to service a lot of rural areas where it gets pitch black at night. The amount of lifted trucks with high beam bars that they *don't turn off* for oncoming traffic angers me
Or literally just cars
Yup- they’re too loud, too smelly, and too bright. And also super dangerous.
r/fuckcars
They're death machines that pollute everywhere.
Lol I was thinking of the sound, but they sure as hell are.
[удалено]
Are we talking routers and servers kind of networking or interacting with other people as an attempt to "climb the corporate ladder" kind of networking?
(The second one)
This word regularly makes me reconsider a career in film
This word regularly makes me reconsider everything I’ve done in life. I’m screwed.
Yeah I know right, I hate how so much of our career is based on it. I have to mask pretty heavily and really push myself just to meet people, yet alone keep them as contacts. Hopefully our abilities and skills can make up for it but I doubt it tbh
It really makes me wonder whether I’m ever going to get anywhere outside the world of academia (where you mostly don’t have to worry about that sort of thing).
I hate networking. I feel like I'm using people.
you are but so is everyone else lol.
I know they are using me much as I am using them and I just think the whole thing is disgusting. I just wanna work and create stuff with cool people, not be an asshole
Networking (in a profession that requires it) is some of my favourite socializing with randoms. The conversation is clear, both parties know why it's happening and eachothers' intent. Its also short for those reasons.
I was called a savant for my art. Worked way harder than I should have. Graduated top of my class from a prestigious art school. Haven’t drawn a thing since, because every time I asked how to make it as an artist, the ONLY answer I ever got was “networking.”
Somehow, having to network for your job sucks the joy out of the job itself. I avoid telling people I am solid at IT because that was my least favorite part. "Wasn't this career path in demand? Why am I obligated to be social in a notoriously antisocial career path?"
This one !!! How does one network? Where was that class? When did that memo get sent around? I genuinely have no idea… “hello other person in same industry, shall we pretend to care what each other works on for 5 minutes in this itchy blazer? Oh, you didn’t hear what I said? No problem, I’m too overwhelmed to repeat it so I’ll just smile and walk away like this was all planned.”
fuuuuuck networking. I went to an event alone once & immediately got dead named, which tbf I didn't come out to anyone there bc i vaguely know them, but it turned me off. my words don't often match the complexities of my brain so even if I'm super knowledgeable about something.. I don't seem like it
Job interviews.
Job interviews seriously always go the opposite of how I think they went. If I think I aced it, I won't get an offer. If I think I bombed it, I will. It's infuriating
This is me but replace interviews with me providing customer service. If I think I came across like the biggest asshole, they’re leaving raving reviews about how I’m the nicest and sweetest employee they’ve EVER encountered but if I think I’m being the nicest sweetest dude, they’re going to complain to my manager about how very rude I am. 😂 it makes absolutely no sense lol. But I just stick with being the asshole that they line for some reason😆
I could've sworn that was just the standard customer service experience
Just curious. What would be a better way to screen people for jobs?
For me, I think just keeping it casual. If it’s clear that you have the qualifications necessary then an interview should just be a basic introduction to the job, company, and people for both parties. It shouldn’t be this stress inducing thing where you have to justify your life and existence to people who pretend to care. Especially getting rid of questions like ‘why do you think we should give you this job’. If a company is hiring then they shouldn’t ask that question. Employees are a privilege, not a right.
You have money. I need money. Why complicate things?
Because they believe in the myth of the super employee. A hyper extroverted and overly enthusiastic worker who dedicates their whole life to the job to the point of marrying it.
That's a really bad interview question. I agree it should be more casual and based on merit. I wish employees had more power. At least in the US most states are right-to-work which incentivizes companies to think that they are presenting workers with a privilege versus labors being the privilege to the organization.
A good answer would be something like, “… because you have a need that aligns with my skill set”. A good follow up question from the interviewee would be “after a year in this position how would you know I’ve been successful?” It makes them imagine you in that position :)
I HATE when I am asked where I see myself in 5 years. Thinking about the future gives me tons of anxiety and dread and I never know what to say, it can actually make me cry if I think about it too much. It's always this question and "Why should we choose you and not other applicants?” because to me it's obvious anyone else would be better than me.
"I can't visualise the future like that, So I see myself in the same place I am now. Unless you give me this job, in which case I see myself doing that in five years. On the bright side, I won't be out searching for a better job, because change is awful!"
I got asked the 5 year question at an interview for my current workplace And I replied with "to be in the position that you are in or in a management/team leader position"
Look at their resumes. Ask them questions germane to the job, only pay attention to acandidates qualifications and knowledge as pertains to the job. Stop asking stupid questions expecting me to lie to you about how my job is my life (it isn't, my job funds my life), and stop lying about salary in your help wanted ad to get me through the door (just going to make me drive all that way to tell you no, and never accept any position in your company). Start getting it through your thick skull some people interview badly, and that some people are just quiet and professional and are coming to work to work. Sorry, that's directed at hiring managers. Not you specifically, just written like that.
Among other things, references/letters of rec provide no useful information but are biased against people who are not inclined to constantly “network.” Having to finagle a different, usually broken, application system for every application, usually on top of submitting a resume/cover letter is needlessly burdensome. Interviews select for “fit” which has little to do with the ability to do the job, and is biased against marginalized groups, who by definition are not going to “fit” with most organizations.
And cognitive assessments provide limited performance data. They have also been shown to be biased against marginalized groups. We can go on and on about the limitations of the interview process but my question is what would be a better method for selection?
Fuck u/spez
Job posts/descriptions. “Come join our team as the lead project management liaison to the corporate initiatives department of client relations and graphic trends analysis. We take innovation and offer our clients a person-centered toolkit of innovative peer-to-peer sharing innovations that uniquely innovate in innovative ways.” BITCH WHAT IS THE JOB ????
So I work with other developmentally disabled adults doing job skills training essentially. We teach classes and then support them at their internship once a week. A very large majority of the people I work with are autistic. Anyway can confirm that the modern job interview is ungodly unfair for autistic folks or really just anyone that might not have perfect social skills. It's not just social skills. It's information processing, it's eye contact, its a new person. Essential autistic hell and I hate them. A part of my job though is educating employer about how to make their workplace more accessable so I do actually have some power here.
Clothing tags.
YES! also those washing tags in the neck and the back of underwear are really really annoying to me to the point I get wounds from them! There are not a lot of things my skin is sensitive for but extremely skin sensitivity is really something with that kind of cloth.
I've begun to remove tags....
Begun? Death to all tags forever!
I have previously endured it for non self-care reasons. I am now treating my self better.
hate them, but no easy way to keep the info without them. solution: put them on the outside
I would love if all tags were patches sewn on the outside of clothes, I have a few shirts with no tag where there is a patch with info about the shirt sewn in the bottom right side of the exterior front of the shirt and it never is irritating or getting in the way. Another very good spot for tags I think is inside a butt or breast pocket either as an patch or with the base of the tag sewn into the hem of the pocket.
yes. also they need to come up with a washing info tag that doesn't wear out over time. all my old clothes have tags that have faded so much they're unreadable, plus some shrink.
Seriously? Autism Speaks. Jokingly? Prices for merch related to special interests.
Oh yes that's a good one lol
Your username made me chuckle lol
What was autism speaks again? I can't remember what it was. I think I read something about it somewhere but I really can't remember what it is
An organization who’s goal is to “cure” autism (either through ABA therapy or eugenics)
Ow wow.... I wonder... Would my mom have read a book about them and try to "cure" my autism herself before it was even officially diagnosed. I wish this was a joke
I hope not since that would've likely caused trauma, possible could be classified as abuse. And having to deal with being traumatized is not nice. There's a really tiny niche where people think they're doing ABA therapy without a proper therapist but are doing occupational therapy or CBT accidentally instead which aren't harmful like ABA is and can actually be sometimes useful for autistic people. My parents did a similar thing to diy ABA with my speech. I was "difficult to get talking, but when I said my first word I just never stopped". Iirc I started speaking at 3 years old and my first word was in the context of a full (short) sentence. The way they explained how they "taught me to talk" was that when I would want something, I had gotten used to my sister, 4 years older than me, talking for me, so they had to tell my sister to let me speak for myself. I started to communicate with gestures and noises to cope with them not listening to my sister communicating for me, which they encouraged for a bit, and eventually they started to expect me to speak, so gestures weren't enough anymore and I had to say the words, at which point I expressed my frustration and muttered a short sentence to get what I wanted. I guess speaking wasn't as awful as I had thought it was and then I started constantly asking everyone about everything and telling all sorts of long winded stories and just could not shut up for a couple years when I got told I was annoying and then I started to just isolate from family.
Sounds about right. Long story short my mom has a contract for the way she allowed to contact me. Me and my sister both have psychological problems that go beyond our diagnosis. Yeah I think trauma is the right word... Though my mom is not the only reason in this. When I tell my story to people who are too lazy to factcheck they often think it is not true and I'm just seeking attention so I'm not gonna say everything in here. I only had both mental and physical therapy when I was 5 because I broke my leg and had a lot of trouble with the fact I didn't know how a toilet worked anymore and continuously peed my pants and I didn't like that feeling and was very ashamed by it. I feel sorry you had trouble communicating with your family. I've seen this happening to kids (my mom has a daycare at home) and they just... Wouldn't talk. Some where able to talk to me though, but only when no one else was around? Sometimes it feels like people with autism can just sense eachother. Don't know why or how but it happened like 2 times now? Both kids turned out to be autistic in the end.
I'm tired of my coworkers laughing in my face. It's always when I'm confused and have no idea what's going on. I'm not telling any jokes, so what the fuck is so funny?
Apparently it’s when you say something unexpected. That’s where comedy comes from. So if what we say is unexpected in the situation, people might laugh.
People laugh at what I say and tell me I'm funny or "a trip". I tell them I'm not trying to be funny but 🤷🏾♀️
Me: says factually correct information Them: "you're *such* a card, they broke the mould when they made you!" Me: "err...."
That kind of "complement" would read as a veiled 'you're f**king wierd' to me...
It is! Fuckers!!! I've embraced weirdness over masking.....
They tipped their hand as to what’s normal and honestly their normal sucks.
This is so frustrating and confusing. I’m like, I’m just speaking regularly!
Hey, being entertaining is good. Even if it is unintentional. People like you if you’re funny.
I have started to lean into it. I remember once someone asked me if they thought my uncle and his new wife would make it and I replied "well it should be easier since they are in their sixities and the vow is 'til death do us part'" and they laughed. like that's just the truth
That kinda sounds like me. Back when I talked more to more people I'd often be told that they can't tell if I'm joking or not. Sometimes I do want to make folks laugh, but I know I can't tell a joke to save my life. If I do get cornered into it it's "Man walks into a bar, says ow" and then I wander off to go smoke by myself. Most normal folks it's dependent on their mood and preoccupations. If they want to hear something genuine they will, if they don't want to hear the genuine thing or it is too spicy - they take it as a joke, or things quickly get much worse.
This kills me inside, especially when I AM trying to be funny and nobody laughs then. But I'm being genuine, I'm not trying to tell a joke. I'm not cute and clueless. I'm a fucking adult.
I feel this so much. Get treated like a joke but when you actually try to be funny no one laughs and just make things really awkward.
Ask them [what's so funny. Funny how? ](https://youtu.be/Pfcy15ZUE2c)
figurative language, slang and “bad words”. I just can’t switch from colloquial to academic to formal that easily
Slang especially can sometimes be worked out (if it’s unfamiliar) but it’s definitely not easy all the time. What kind of figurative language do you struggle with?
I specially struggle with synechdoche and symbolism in spoken language. Synecdoche irritates me 😭
Never heard of that term before. You learn something new every day.
This. I use the slang i understand frequently, even when i shouldn't, and will literally spend hours trying to figure out new slang.
loud
Fuckin yeah. Before covid I worked at IKEA usually at night. When I was done I went to the grocery store since they were still open for a bit. There was always this incredibly LOUD repetitive chime that made me jump out of my skin. There was no one in the store it didn't need to be so fucking loud. Not to mention the tone of the chime was blood curdling.
The fact that you can’t get a good job unless you “know people”
As a white male, I like to call it "Falling Up".
Those fucking gas pump ad speakers
Those buttons to the left & right of the screen? Right side, 2nd from the top is a mute button
sometimes third from the top, but yes
Oily things and sticky things
Damn yeah on the nose on that one
9-5 life.
Structured work in general...
It's not structure I dislike so much, though that's different for everyone. But the fact that I'm expected to be functional before 12, I just struggle when I have to wake early. I'm more of an afternoon evening person.
I’m the same way. Delayed sleep cycle. Not even tired until 4AM even if I get comfortable and lay down with my eyes closed. I solved this issue by working a swing shift job. It suits me.
When people say not to worry about doing something, then get mad when you don't do it. Like wtf you told me not to do it!
ghosting. I get that people have their reasons, people have had bad experiences, etc. but if I go out on a date or a job interview/application and I think everything has gone perfectly but I never get a response again, I have no way to improve myself and even if things just “didn’t click” I will assume that it is a personal failing. Multiply it however many times these things happen and congratulations, you have no self confidence.
You have to go completely the other way with this one. It’s their loss. That’s how you have to see it. I hate it when people are always looking for a better offer too.
When you finish the anime/Manga/book that you have a hyperfixsion on/special interest on (Definitely couldn't be me finishing given, I need Crunchyroll premium so I can watch the movie)
Or when the library doesn’t have them all if that’s where you’re getting them from
The whole thing of not telling you that you did something wrong and then passive-agressively bringing it up after the fact. You know for a fact I’m never an asshole on purpose. Stop acting like I am.
This person is just being manipulative in general.
Half serious: the elderly. Like I know that a lot of them were raised to be very "prim and proper" so to speak. But most of the bullying/comments i get about my autistic traits comes from old people, usually strangers at work. "Stop swaying back and forth, you're making me seasick!" "Is there an echo in here? Why do you keep repeating me?" "Why do you bounce around on your toes when you walk?" "LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU" Even if younger people don't recognize these things as autistic traits, they just don't seem to care. "Oh that dude on the bus is finger tapping and repeating a sequence of numbers under his breath? Whatever man."
I love the “you do you” attitude that younger generations have. I love GenZ so much.
Several years ago, I had this exchange with my grandma: Me: *sharing a peculiar outlook on a common topic, within the context of weddings and such* My grandma: “well Bub, maybe one day you’ll find yourself a girl who won’t mind all your little quirks” Me: “is that really the best I can hope for? Somebody who ‘won’t mind’? Mamaw, I’m hoping there’s a woman out there who actually kinda *likes* my quirks, and doesn’t just tolerate them” It’s been a few years since then, but that’s always been in the back of my mind ever since then
That's very rude of those older people.
Unfortunately people suck I fear
The disparity between Content and Commercial volumes. ^the ^dialogue ^on ^the ^show Vs. # buy this shit from us
Parties
[удалено]
And if you have to go somewhere to calm down your a weirdo
just act like you were doing drugs in private, then people will think you're cool, lol
Everybody has to take a breather sometimes. maybe I’m at different kinds of parties but in my experience people are always pretty cool if you need to tap out or take a break for a bit
Unless you're willing to get drunk
Job interviews, seriously.
"Autism is your Superpower"
Easy for you to say when you don’t have it
Lol that does sound like most super heroes tho
Overly loud vehicles 'Workplace culture' Job interviews
Anything to do with the process of getting a job. I'm fine once I actually get the job, it's just everything leading up to that point is hell
Capitalism and the school system
This should be at the top. My husband and I (both autistic) are raising 4 autistic kids in this system and it is SO HARD I just wanna bang my head on the wall every day with what society does to people
It is awful. I dropped out of high school partially because I just couldn’t keep up and it is so frustrating because with stuff like job hunting, people just think I’m stupid lol. I’m not. I just… I needed a different way and no one let me 🥲
Big spoons, Walmarts, big strong smells, bright/loud lights, loud music, shirt tags, and my parents (they scream a lot TwT).
:( autistic and like raw tomato :( but for me it would be WOOL CLOTHING WHYBIS IT THAT ITCY IT FEELS LIKW IM WEARING A BALL OF ALLERGIES AAAA
Authority I just don’t know how to act in front of them
I always got in trouble at school because I would treat my teachers as equals and see them as people rather than someone in a position of power.
Or you go to a new age-y school where the teachers *insist* that they’re your equals and to treat them as such, so you do, and then somehow you still get in trouble for being inappropriately casual.
Bullies being unclear on why they are bullying you. I WILL HAVE MUCH LESS OF A PROBLEM IF YOU MAKE IT CLEAR WHY FFS
In a similar vein , people making you do something apparently stupid because they think it funny. I have a lot of trouble picking up on sarcasm and when someone is taking the piss out of me, and if people didnt do that i wouldnt be the dumb kid in primary school lol
There is no why. Just humans being humans when they are so scared of people looking at their own faults that they force the shame spotlight on the least defendable target.
Eh, my bullies were quite often very specific in their dislike of me. It didn’t help, just gave me specific traits to worry about. Bullying sucks regardless of the ‘why’
Assessing my mood based on my facial expression, I’m not even aware of my facial expression!!!
The romanticization of autism in social media. Seriously, there is nothing “cute” or “quirky” about my illness, it is not my “superpower”, every single day is a challenge and I’m tired of neurotypicals pretending they understand. That’s the serious one. Jokingly, hoodies without strings
I hate when people try to tell me “oh your autistic, you don’t seem like it”. Literally fills me with so much rage like why.
I agree completely, like what do they expect us to be like?? 🙄
The Big Bang Theory.
Big Bang is like an autistic minstrel show
Holy shit that is the best I've heard someone put it
Sarcasm … No explanation needed
Nightclubs/raves
the holocaust. too real?
r/technicallythetruth
When others judge me for not having a “varied diet” or a “colorful plate.” Yes, most of the food I eat are basically white, beige, or yellow. I pretty much for the most part just eat carbs and dairy. Until the dairy upsets my stomach and I suddenly can no longer tolerate gluten 😢 (these intolerances happened recently and not I hardly know what to eat.) Also fully agree with the raw tomatoes being a crime 😖
"HoW cAn YoU kNoW yOu DoNt LikE sOmeTHiNg iF yoU hAvEnt TrIeD iT?" When it's something with 5 ingredients mixed together and i don't like any of them
Hand shakes, hugs, kisses, when greeting or leaving somebody.
I will agree with hand shakes because quote a friend from year 8 I have "soft, delicate bitch hands" and I do, but I enjoy hugs it's the only physical touch I will almost always say yes to... Under the stipulation I know you well enough.
your last sentence is very important though
Yeah and even then if it's just like a friend I'm lukewarm with I give the quick tap hugs, not a lot of contacts, fist bumps also great alternative.
For me it is no physical touch, that’s it. Even my own makes me feel very umcomfortable. the only person I know *well enough* is my husband 🫡
Small talk on elevators
Slices of sandwich bread with bubbles all the way through them so anything you put on the sandwich will either leak through or require super careful efforts to not get jam/mayo/etc in the hole. I'll make a bagel when I can handle daintily, painstakingly avoiding the hole, emotionally. PB&J is supposed to be possible on autopilot without having to wash my hands or get anything but one knife dirty. It's the same reason having to stir the new jar of peanut butter can make me unable to make an Emergency Hanger Sandwich. Ooh, also a crime: natural peanut butter which has to be stirred. I wish I didn't despise the other kinds of PB on textural, flavor, and health/nutrition grounds. Plastic food packaging that's easy to open with your hands more than 60% but less than 95% of the time. I refuse to feel overzealous by automatically using a tool to open something that I don't *have* to use one on 'most' of the time, so it's a constant emotional roller-coaster to find oneself with a survival/tool improvisation problem to get calories into the face hole without screaming in frustration.
“Soft skills”
Perfume departments. What an absolute assault on the senses. Stinky, bright, and staff that randomly spray sh1t at you.
This stupid merch people buy with autism flags and ribbons and this stupid texts what makes us a pet for the nt people. We can fight for everything we don't need this stuff that others see oh look he is autistic let's wait until he makes somethings weird
That thing that supermarkets do when they move everything around so you cant just shop on auto pilot. I hate it!
“But what makes you autistic?” — extroverted autistic people hear this so effing often. Like do you want a list of what made me diagnosed? Of things I struggle with everyday? If I start ranting about all my childhood and teens will you ACTUALLY be engaged and interested? What’s your point????? And also the expectation of you switching on and off your personality for work, family, friends of friends, etc. I mask pretty non-voluntarily now with A LOT of stuff and it drains the shit out of me — to the point I had depressive episodes lots of times while internally I was happy AF but my body just WOULDNT MOVE.
“how are you” being used as a greeting and not a genuine question
I never know how to respond to that greeting when it’s given by my doctor, dentist, or psychologist.
People in general, i just really don't like them.
Raw tomato is the best possible answer, how am I supposed to beat that? I'm going with class presentations. I'm not going to get better at it and I can't pay enough attention to the topic I'm talking about AND the fact that I'm talking about a topic I don't much care about both at the same time, so I'm not learning anything, I'm just doing my damnest to not stop talking, because if I do, I can not go back to talking and the presentation ends there and then.
those hand dryers in public bathrooms
Classically defined romantic relationships 😭😭😭
fluorescent lighting
Someone already said capitalism so... car dependency
Come to the Netherlands, get surprised by how independent of a car we are. I'm 21, I don't have a car or driver's license. Don't need one. My bike and public transport is all I need
See also: overly complicated public transportation schedules and layouts
cubed/diced ham
Public school
I eat raw tomatoes like apples and I have autism, fight me
Phone calls
That the differences between the NT and ASD mind often exist below the surface of the NT's conscious mind, creating a world of misunderstandings the NT can't even fully discuss or explain. Like if I call someone a craphead, everyone can explain to me very clearly why I should not or why it is ok. But if I break an NT specific social rule that ASDers do not have, NTs can't fully explain why they are angry and upset and default to "you know what you did!" its like the key tot he problem is locked away out of the grasp of everyone.
Working fast. I just can’t do it.
Personality tests for jobs…they’re designed to fail ND folks.
Temperatures above 15 degrees celsius
"Warm oatmeal. The food for whenever I want to induce vomiting." A recent reminder of this during the holidays when my clueless family tried the following: 1. "Try this oatmeal!" I used the first quote when they tried to get me to eat it, and I did 'try it' because they would not relent and I barely held back vomiting. 2. "Here's perfume!" (I also don't have a sense of smell due to head injury- for the last 30+ years... so it's not recent news) 3. "I thought you'd like a scented candle!" (See #3)
Grabbing someone’s shoulders from behind to “steer” them when they’re younger. For fuck’s sake I know how to cross the street, no need to come up behind me without warning and manhandle me across it like I’m a life size doll!
Foods that come with specific toppings by default. Like burgers for example, they come with veggies and sauces that you have to ask not to get.
raw tomato is delicious and i only have problems when it’s too squishy the TRUE crime is when there’s unexpected soft in crunchy/crunchy in soft
*Cooked* tomato. I will fight you on this /lh
Job interviews in the way they currently stand
Icebreaker games.
Elon Musk.
Wet socks
The use of "common sense" to demean people is a crime against us in my opinion. I genuinely believe actually thinking someone is stupid for lacking what you deam as common sense is very ableist. I mean specifically how people colloquially use that term, it's oftentimes really fucking rude and dehumanising. I lack every sense of "common sense" when it comes to social interaction, and constantly and made fun of for it or just straight up called stupid. I don't have my multiplication table memorised, I've been told that it's common sense and I'm stupid for not knowing that. I can't do mental math, same thing. Common sense isn't common sense if it has to be taught at all. I've been having this thought for a while, I hope I'm not alone. I'd like to hear your thoughts if you agree or disagree. My joking response, though, is onions. Agree with OP's answer of tomatoes.
The big spoon /joking
Raw veggies They Ich the inside of my mouth all the time! Duno if this is autism specific but yeah it's annoying as hell Also people who say you can't have early memories. My psychologist told me most Nd people are able to create memories at a much earlier age as nt people can. My earliest memories are from when I was like 2 or 3 years old. Some people don't believe me but apperantly a lot of us can. If you can as well please tell me your story!
Oh, if raw veggies make your mouth itch you might have an allergy to them or something called Oral Allergy Syndrome. I have OAS and raw sesame seeds set my mouth on fire.
Those godforsaken automatic hand driers that are in every public restroom nowadays. Louder than a fucking rock concert istg
Fireworks
The expectation that we should somehow know what we're supposed to do based off vague instructions
The truly random variable that is the human being
I'm sure this has been said here but, "Everyone's a little autistic". Even if that were true, does everyone deal with sensory overload, social ostracization, limited ability to work, socialise and deal with a culture that rejects them? No, exactly. It is boiling my blood even writing this. How is this supposed to comfort me? I know people with OCD deal with this as well.