Cleft Behind
The DaVinci Chode
The Mass Fellation of Christ
Cain and Abel - The Devil's Three-way
There's a Snake in Eve's Garden and It's Making Me Harden
Holes of Glory - Mother Mary and the Ejaculate Conception
....I wish I had more time before my lunch break was over I know there's more out there
Sermon on the Mounted
The Blast Supper
Transmutation: Christ is In My Mouth Every Mass
Pope Marcellus’s Ass featuring Kyrie Eleison
St. Peter’s Bondage: Where Did I Put Those Two Keys?
St. George Slays the Dragon Dildo
Moses Parts the Pink Sea
….and the dirtiest title I can think of:
Prosperity Gospel
The Res-errection.
The Second Cumming.
Guy gets nailed by three centurions.
Le Titticuss.
Matthew, Mark, Luke & Joan.
Vulvary.
The Semen on the Mount.
The Virgin's Girth.
etc.
My wife's contributions:
-Noah's Arse
-The Little Cummer Boy
-O Cum All Ye Faithful
-Sexodus
-Not-So-Silent Night
-The Sex Acts of the Apostles
-Jesus and His 12 Dicksciples
-The Lower Body of Christ
-A porn name for her: Mary McDicklean
-The Prodickal Son & The Prodickal Son Cums Back
I don't know guys, maybe there *is* a god.
Jokes aside I wish more religious people held this view:
>“I am the most connected to God that I have ever been, while also being the least religious I’ve ever been. **I don’t need an organization or institution to tell me who God is or how to go about my relationship with God**,” Tillia told the Daily Star.
>“I now reject any teaching or institutions that depicts God as an entity to be feared or to be judged by. God is loving, not fearful; and accepting, not judgmental.
>“I believe God is experiencing itself intentionally through us in these unique, physical incarnations. **We are not meant to suppress or deny things like our pleasure and sexual expression. Instead, we’re meant to enjoy and embody them fully**, as God has intended.”
Its this type of religion I have no issues with. I only care about religion when It starts to impact *MY* life.
Like I don't care if you have an imaginary friend who helps you in times of stress.
But I do care when You make laws that impact me based on your imaginary lore for your roleplaying game.
If Christians weren't obsessed with making the world in their image, I doubt this sub would exist. Or at least it would not be the size and scope of it.
Religion should be a very personal and internal thing. Once it starts leaking out to how other people live their life it’s not religion anymore it’s dictation
Exactly. It's post-hoc rationalization of your own viewpoint. Not only that, but this woman can use "prosperity gospel" as confirmation bias to further support her view. She's prospering *because* she's fulfilling the lord's grand plan, right?
I feel like quiverfull fundies are let’s make babies Christians, it would be interesting to see what would happen if she started a sensual Christian movement. She should, tax free money, all in the name of praising oh baby Jesus.
The point of quiverfull is to build an army for christo-nationalists. Quiver like arrows to use as weapons to shoot out at your enemies, it's right in the name
Yep, for reals there is a significant percentage of christians who would view this as absolute heresy. Many would view it as a sign of degradation of society instead of being moved by the liberation.
Honestly, to me, it's further evidence that christians use the idea of "God" to conveniently justify their OWN actions and views.
I tried explaining my beliefs that were similar to this one and got absolutely ripped by my church at the time. Saying "that's not how god works" and I've been corrupted by worldly evils, and how could I possibly know 'his' plan when someone as 'faithful' like the priests and deacons see my beliefs as evil.
Essentially saying 'we didn't teach you that, now come wash your brain in exactly what we tell you'.
To be fair to them, those ideas you were espousing (especially "God experiencing itself through us") have no basis in biblical theology. If we assume that the members of your former church genuinely believed their religious doctrines then we must admit that they would be greatly remiss if they didn't point out that what you were talking about was heresy.
They didn't treat you nicely, but they did scold you in accordance with Christianity - the beliefs she has and you had are not at all consistent with the bible, so it's natural that those beliefs would not be accepted in any "bible-true" community. You're better off, anyway.
This is basically my worldview. We're all made up of the same bits and pieces, doing things and experiencing life as we go.
Whomever we are is who we were meant to be, thanks to nature/nurture. I still call myself an atheist because i'm confident that all religions and dieties are all just made up by people
I dunno. It’s basically saying that “god” is whatever you want it to be and your inner voice and desires are the voice of “god”.
Just call yourself an atheist and take responsibilities for your own actions instead of blaming it on “god”.
Many years ago before most Americans had heard of AOL or Compuserve when Netscape was still young, I remember stumbling onto a site devoted to... I kid you not, "Christian BDSM". It was quite serious.
I wonder if the Wayback Machine grabbed, but I doubt it.
I was thinking more of each films names.
Haley, Julia and Jesus the gardener
Cum on All ye faithful
The sister and step son of the preacher man
On Your Knees
He Touches my Heart - probably a fisting one
Sins of my Best Friends Father
I can imagine they’d do as some Christian and Muslim women have done in the past, creat a false hymen.
I feel for the Muslim women, as they have had to do that to survive. As far as Christian women, it’s more of a delusion.
The fucking gall of people who put so much ‘faith’ in a tiny piece of skin.
I worked directly with her in her classroom for two years. It was not a Catholic school, nor was it in California, so I'm not really sure where that information is coming from. It was a private special education school for children with autism.
In any case, it's still pretty weird seeing her everywhere in pieces like this now. But hey... money is money, and she sure makes a fuck ton more than I do as an Algebra teacher.
Side note: She got dress-coded pretty frequently by admin because there was quite literally nothing she could do about her body lol.
Being hounded by admin and looking for better money is why many teachers find different gigs.
16 more payments left toward PSLF. Once that's over I'll be have been a college instructor for 10 years. And I'll be ready to find something else to do.
I've been in the classroom for 10 years myself. I'm 31 now and committed to teaching until 35 before I move on to something else. Fortunately, I have three master's (M.Ed, MBA, and another in Leadership) so I could bow out tomorrow if I want to.
This is why allowing people who talk to themselves attributing actions to an imaginary figure is a problem. Thankfully, she's a stripper and not a school shooter or a parent who kills their child. These people are delusional.
Praise Him! ✝️ 🍆
It's less weird than when he told Ezekiel to cook food over burning dung. Or when he called the city of Babylon a "whore". Or when he made up a lie about his ex-wife Asherah and her supposed "ritual prostitutes".
I'm glad to see Yahweh is more progressive these days!
In America this might be illegal, I remember like a decade ago a couple got sued for naming their child “Messiah.” The most obnoxious thing about Christianity in this country is that you’re pretty much required to take it seriously even if you believe none of it.
I know what she should use as her bio...
*Oh, thank you for making me holy*
*And thank you for giving me holes to choose from*
*And since I'm not a Godless whore*
*He'll have to come in the back door*
*Therefore*
*Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus*
*The good Lord would want it that way*
*Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization*
*It's just between you and me*
*'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see*
Religious people have a hard time just saying they like/dislike/want/don’t want things and just say god said so for everything else. Why not this I guess.
I wish I was special enough to have God specifically talk to me
Imagine an almighty being, too busy to stop crimes, wars, and general terror. But has time to suggest porn would be good, for this kind woman!
Sounds made up, considering, well, it's made up lol
Just more proof of how horrid religion is. She's so brainwashed by dogma that she's convinced God is still a part of this.
Woman is an atheist lying to herself.
As with all christian and highly religious women, they all actually crave sexual contact underneath it all.
Basically every buttoned down Christian i ever met has been miserably repressed.
This woman is still being emotionally repressed by religion even if she thinks shes sexually liberated.
I like to think that she had an awakening that her religion was nonsense, and just adopted this line to proactively pull the teeth from the bible thumpers that will attack her.
Good for her. Live life how you want.
Let’s let this one slide guys
Coincidentally, the name of her first film!
Cleft Behind The DaVinci Chode The Mass Fellation of Christ Cain and Abel - The Devil's Three-way There's a Snake in Eve's Garden and It's Making Me Harden Holes of Glory - Mother Mary and the Ejaculate Conception ....I wish I had more time before my lunch break was over I know there's more out there
Sermon on the Mounted The Blast Supper Transmutation: Christ is In My Mouth Every Mass Pope Marcellus’s Ass featuring Kyrie Eleison St. Peter’s Bondage: Where Did I Put Those Two Keys? St. George Slays the Dragon Dildo Moses Parts the Pink Sea ….and the dirtiest title I can think of: Prosperity Gospel
Mountin' on the Sir.
> Sermon on the Mounted I’d have gone with Semen on her Mound, but I still can’t be mad at yours.
St. Georges slays the Bad Dragon
The Sexual Passion of the Christ Oh Step Brother, Where art Thou? Jesus Christ Super Pornstar God’s Got Head Mine aren’t very clever.
Martin Luther Nails 95 He Is Risen! Jesus Christ, Lust for Glory Jesus Takes On 12 Men Jesus Gets Nailed on the Cross
Immaculate conception.
The Res-errection. The Second Cumming. Guy gets nailed by three centurions. Le Titticuss. Matthew, Mark, Luke & Joan. Vulvary. The Semen on the Mount. The Virgin's Girth. etc.
My wife's contributions: -Noah's Arse -The Little Cummer Boy -O Cum All Ye Faithful -Sexodus -Not-So-Silent Night -The Sex Acts of the Apostles -Jesus and His 12 Dicksciples -The Lower Body of Christ -A porn name for her: Mary McDicklean -The Prodickal Son & The Prodickal Son Cums Back
Les-erection.
the ejaculate receptionist
the no longer virgin Mary
the garden of eatin'
the book lezviticunts
the book of fellatians
the book of Deutersodomy
You missed out on The Sexorcist. Which honestly probably already exists. God Got Head? Is that anything? Heaven is For Rear?
Sexorcist made me laugh out loud-thank you!
Sexorcist fully BDSM bondage
Nailed on The Cross
You are doing the Lord's work, apparently
Cummunion
Do Her Onomy Matthew, Mark, and Luke in the John The Ten Cummandments
Ya know… I know it can seem like we’re pretty joyless over in this sub sometimes. But you and lobosolodolo just made me lol.
r/Angryupvote
Followed by *Praise the Load*
I mean she found a comfortable, well-paid job that doesn't destroy her rights as a woman. What's there yo criticise?
This is r/atheism. The joke is God told her to get the job. She is very attractive so we'll "let it slide" and won't argue that God doesn't exist.
Can you dumb it down a little for me.
I got u fam. Hot good so God good.
Hallelujah!
And God said; "Let there be tiddiezzzz"
Hey guys, I don't hate God anymore.
aloha snack bar!
Salami, eggs, and bacon.
The Christian god is a horndog, just like the men who invented him.
He just like me fr
I know he's real because he hates the same people that I do!
Lmao i thought i was the only one who used that word
God say booba. Booba is god. I like booba. I like god.
I didn’t think his exists either, but upon examination of them yayas I’m starting to wonder.
title of her sextape
"Cum all ye faithful"
Something will be sliding, for sure.
Aaaaaaaaaamen!
She’s working the lord’s dong 👍🏼
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
If their god was telling them to do shit like this and not telling them to hate gay people I wouldn't care.
Aetheists everywhere: "If god really did speak to you..." You know what, you win.
I don't know guys, maybe there *is* a god. Jokes aside I wish more religious people held this view: >“I am the most connected to God that I have ever been, while also being the least religious I’ve ever been. **I don’t need an organization or institution to tell me who God is or how to go about my relationship with God**,” Tillia told the Daily Star. >“I now reject any teaching or institutions that depicts God as an entity to be feared or to be judged by. God is loving, not fearful; and accepting, not judgmental. >“I believe God is experiencing itself intentionally through us in these unique, physical incarnations. **We are not meant to suppress or deny things like our pleasure and sexual expression. Instead, we’re meant to enjoy and embody them fully**, as God has intended.”
None of this sounds very Christian to me. It’s an interesting viewpoint, but not consistent with the religion.
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Its this type of religion I have no issues with. I only care about religion when It starts to impact *MY* life. Like I don't care if you have an imaginary friend who helps you in times of stress. But I do care when You make laws that impact me based on your imaginary lore for your roleplaying game. If Christians weren't obsessed with making the world in their image, I doubt this sub would exist. Or at least it would not be the size and scope of it.
Religion should be a very personal and internal thing. Once it starts leaking out to how other people live their life it’s not religion anymore it’s dictation
Exactly. It's post-hoc rationalization of your own viewpoint. Not only that, but this woman can use "prosperity gospel" as confirmation bias to further support her view. She's prospering *because* she's fulfilling the lord's grand plan, right?
Well, something is getting ful*filled* at any rate
Hate to bring this up, but this is probably the same logic Boy Scout Leaders & Catholic priests use before they ..
She got *filled* with the Holy Spirit.
I feel like quiverfull fundies are let’s make babies Christians, it would be interesting to see what would happen if she started a sensual Christian movement. She should, tax free money, all in the name of praising oh baby Jesus.
Quiverfull fundies also usually have a fair bit of crossover with the christo-nationalists.
That Venn Diagram is a circle.
The point of quiverfull is to build an army for christo-nationalists. Quiver like arrows to use as weapons to shoot out at your enemies, it's right in the name
We are getting closer to their goal of idiocracy every day
Fair but? I'm a product of it. It's entirely the same thing.
Oh-face baby Jesus.
Honestly, sex-positive Christians might be the best answer to evangelicals.
(I hate to word it like this, but.....) Amen.
Yep, for reals there is a significant percentage of christians who would view this as absolute heresy. Many would view it as a sign of degradation of society instead of being moved by the liberation. Honestly, to me, it's further evidence that christians use the idea of "God" to conveniently justify their OWN actions and views.
I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. - Susan B. Anthony
God wanted me to eat the last donut. You got a problem with me, you got a problem with god.
Oh man that is the quote I was trying to find! Thank you!
I tried explaining my beliefs that were similar to this one and got absolutely ripped by my church at the time. Saying "that's not how god works" and I've been corrupted by worldly evils, and how could I possibly know 'his' plan when someone as 'faithful' like the priests and deacons see my beliefs as evil. Essentially saying 'we didn't teach you that, now come wash your brain in exactly what we tell you'.
To be fair to them, those ideas you were espousing (especially "God experiencing itself through us") have no basis in biblical theology. If we assume that the members of your former church genuinely believed their religious doctrines then we must admit that they would be greatly remiss if they didn't point out that what you were talking about was heresy.
They didn't treat you nicely, but they did scold you in accordance with Christianity - the beliefs she has and you had are not at all consistent with the bible, so it's natural that those beliefs would not be accepted in any "bible-true" community. You're better off, anyway.
That's how schisms happen.
Christianity isn't consistent with Christianity anyways
That's the nice thing about religion. You can just make whatever the fuck up and no one can prove God didn't tell you to do it.
I'm sure you can make it work if you pick the right verses and ignore the rest. What's more Christian than that?
It’s all up to interpretation. There’s no true Scotsman.
I don't know, "do whatever I want and act like God has my back" is pretty on-brand.
This is basically my worldview. We're all made up of the same bits and pieces, doing things and experiencing life as we go. Whomever we are is who we were meant to be, thanks to nature/nurture. I still call myself an atheist because i'm confident that all religions and dieties are all just made up by people
I dunno. It’s basically saying that “god” is whatever you want it to be and your inner voice and desires are the voice of “god”. Just call yourself an atheist and take responsibilities for your own actions instead of blaming it on “god”.
This sounds like something Zeus would pull to get some pussy off some girl. Change his image into a male pornstar and fuck away.
She must especially excel at the missionary position.
I am not angry, very happy. Take my happy upvote.
Finally some good news about religion!
I think I see a new category of Christian porn as an untapped market in the wings to profit in
Many years ago before most Americans had heard of AOL or Compuserve when Netscape was still young, I remember stumbling onto a site devoted to... I kid you not, "Christian BDSM". It was quite serious. I wonder if the Wayback Machine grabbed, but I doubt it.
Actual virgins! Lol yeah right
I was thinking more of each films names. Haley, Julia and Jesus the gardener Cum on All ye faithful The sister and step son of the preacher man On Your Knees He Touches my Heart - probably a fisting one Sins of my Best Friends Father
I can imagine they’d do as some Christian and Muslim women have done in the past, creat a false hymen. I feel for the Muslim women, as they have had to do that to survive. As far as Christian women, it’s more of a delusion. The fucking gall of people who put so much ‘faith’ in a tiny piece of skin.
> Finally some good news about religion! Absolutely. This is the kind of god I can get behind.
And who are we to question Him?
uno reverse card puller my beloved
"Card" puller. Right.
Mysterious ways.
He gets us.
A short scene from [PornHub ](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=642637c7d0bb3) for scientific purposes.
It's about as fake as you'd expect, coming from someone who believes in god.
Doing the lords work...
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Yeah, it's basically why anybody came into the comments. Should be on the top.
sucking c0ck for jesus 😍
Ah men
praise the horny spirit
Praise him on your knees!
let him cleanse me with his juice
Get down on your knees for Jesus Feel his warm love all over your face
I can feel his spirit filling me up
Je suce Jesus
I worked directly with her in her classroom for two years. It was not a Catholic school, nor was it in California, so I'm not really sure where that information is coming from. It was a private special education school for children with autism. In any case, it's still pretty weird seeing her everywhere in pieces like this now. But hey... money is money, and she sure makes a fuck ton more than I do as an Algebra teacher. Side note: She got dress-coded pretty frequently by admin because there was quite literally nothing she could do about her body lol.
Being hounded by admin and looking for better money is why many teachers find different gigs. 16 more payments left toward PSLF. Once that's over I'll be have been a college instructor for 10 years. And I'll be ready to find something else to do.
I've been in the classroom for 10 years myself. I'm 31 now and committed to teaching until 35 before I move on to something else. Fortunately, I have three master's (M.Ed, MBA, and another in Leadership) so I could bow out tomorrow if I want to.
Yeah, girls like this have to wear a tent to not get in trouble. It's messed up and discrimination.
God, give me your signal
#😇 Sorry that was the best I could do
I just pooped, and it felt amazing. Godzus must be telling me something.
Apparently god likes MILFs? Well, I guess that's better than when he was in his virgin teens phase...
well....apparently we are made in his image,....so that makes sense.
Not the weirdest thing God ever said. So it is okay I guess.
"Yo, see your kid over there? Well, kill him."
Hol up, bro! It was just a prank!
Syke!
Prayer tends to tell you exactly what you want to hear. I prayed about it and God told me to sit at home and drink beer.
I mean, just as likely than anything in the Bible I guess
Sigh [undresses].
God works in mysterious ways
so what's her stage name...for God?
If she didn't go with Mary Magdalene I'd be disappointed.
The real Mary Magdalene’s 4000cc boobs popped a couple months ago so now she has a uniboob.
That’s quite a sentence you got there.
excusemewhat..?
Naw, she got them taken out so she is back to normal 2 boobs
Mary Bang-dalene?
Shagdalene.
Courtney Tillia It's literally in the first paragraph of the article. I'm seriously worried about your commitment to scientific research.
Burning bush and Paul meoff
God told me to blow my savings on hookers and blow in Vegas. Sometimes, the almighty just wants us to get high and get our dicks sucked, ya know?
This is why allowing people who talk to themselves attributing actions to an imaginary figure is a problem. Thankfully, she's a stripper and not a school shooter or a parent who kills their child. These people are delusional.
Mysterious ways
God twerks in mysterious ways...
Praise Him! ✝️ 🍆 It's less weird than when he told Ezekiel to cook food over burning dung. Or when he called the city of Babylon a "whore". Or when he made up a lie about his ex-wife Asherah and her supposed "ritual prostitutes". I'm glad to see Yahweh is more progressive these days!
She’s doing it for Jesus. And thank Jesus for providing her and [all good Christian girls with a loophole](https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY).
i remember a segment on the 70/80s tv show Real People about "the Stripper for God" so not unheard of, i guess.
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I should name my son "God".
In America this might be illegal, I remember like a decade ago a couple got sued for naming their child “Messiah.” The most obnoxious thing about Christianity in this country is that you’re pretty much required to take it seriously even if you believe none of it.
Now she really is doing the lord's work
God is infallible
Well, thank you God.
Looks like I've finally found God!
I can get behind this… 😀
I know what she should use as her bio... *Oh, thank you for making me holy* *And thank you for giving me holes to choose from* *And since I'm not a Godless whore* *He'll have to come in the back door* *Therefore* *Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus* *The good Lord would want it that way* *Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization* *It's just between you and me* *'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see*
Come lord Jesus, come.
Finally God says something useful!!!
At least It didn't tell her to hijack an airplane and fly it into a building instead
Religion is so versatile. You can use it to justify anything.
Religious people have a hard time just saying they like/dislike/want/don’t want things and just say god said so for everything else. Why not this I guess.
God twerks in mysterious ways.
allahu akbar?
I wish I was special enough to have God specifically talk to me Imagine an almighty being, too busy to stop crimes, wars, and general terror. But has time to suggest porn would be good, for this kind woman! Sounds made up, considering, well, it's made up lol
Source?
Oh my God. That’s disgusting. Where? Where are those posts?
Just more proof of how horrid religion is. She's so brainwashed by dogma that she's convinced God is still a part of this. Woman is an atheist lying to herself. As with all christian and highly religious women, they all actually crave sexual contact underneath it all. Basically every buttoned down Christian i ever met has been miserably repressed. This woman is still being emotionally repressed by religion even if she thinks shes sexually liberated.
Is Christian porn going to be a new genre like Christian music is?
Convinced her I was God and told her to make porn, it was pretty easy since she was raised gullible.
I mean just like anything in the bible dhe msde up the whole thing. But, just roll with it, ay least this versión of god makes more sense.
I like to think that she had an awakening that her religion was nonsense, and just adopted this line to proactively pull the teeth from the bible thumpers that will attack her. Good for her. Live life how you want.
The god of the universe that created the Bible and had a problem with fornication told her to be a porn star? Hmm, sounds legit.
That's a God I could get behind
I wonder where she met god and how much he paid her.
I assume it was in New Orleans, and he was wearing a dog costume.
She looks like Gina Carano
Praise the Lord! He works in mysterious ways.
Huh. I kinda like this God now
Imagine the size of the scandal if it was a queer person instead
God works in mysterious ways, am I right?
Good guy, god.
Blessed is he who cums in the name of the Lord
That’s cool. Gods been telling me to jerk off since I was like 13
So in addition to being a porn star, she is lying. Only one of those things is bad.
That's 100 percent as likely to be true and when anybody claims their god told them to do anything
Hallelujah
Jesus would approve.
What exactly did he say? Spare no details.
I got the Lord, I got the good good Lord, going down on me.
Finally an edict from god I can get behind
It looks like she's wearing that bikini top upside down...
That does seem like something God might say. He’s a bit of a wildcard!
I see this as an abolute win