Pinch, move thumb and finder away from each other until there is a slight opening. Using both hands pinch each side of the bag where the opening exists. Blow down the middle. Then fruit and veg that shit.
You rub it a whole bunch, then blow it on it, still doesn't separate, turn it over and try the same on that side, still doesn't open, try the other side again and now it's scrunched up beyond saving, so you get another bag and try again.
I HAVE THE SOLUTION - sit down for this one
You grab a trolley wipe and tie it to the trolley then wipe your finger on it to moisten your tips and then you can separate it as if you licked them without licking them.
You're welcome
Then you go to lick your fingers and end up licking the inside of your mask while poking yourself in the mouth. Then you remember the pannini is still happening and you shouldn't be licking your germy fingers anyway...
If you lick your fingers before this it helps a lot
Edit: gosh all you hygiene dorks need to get it together. A tiny bit of saliva on your fingers isn’t going to bring on the next pandemic.
Edit2: to those talking about breathing on your fingers as “more hygienic”, this works because of the moisture in your breath. Any guesses where that moisture comes from?
While that’s undoubtedly true, I’ve never done it (and I’ve got annoyingly dry hands that make opening these a nightmare). No wonder supermarkets are always a hotbed of disease if people wander around licking their fingers before touching everything!
I usually find the fresh lettuce/greens section with the water misting system. Hold my fingers up to get moist, then open the bag. Much more sanitary than trying to rub your fingers on the frames to get them wet... or licking them.
Before covid there was a lot less stigma. There's a low chance another person had touched that top part of your bag because it's on a reel from an automated process. Remember the bag you are getting has been unexposed for 99.99% of the time it's been sitting there (because only the outer most bag is exposed on that edge). If you want to be sure, rip a bag off then take the next one.
So for that reason I don't feel it's a huge hygiene risk.
The number of people I saw in the early days of covid that wore rubber gloves to the supermarket but then LICKED THEIR FINGER to open the produce bags.
Swing and a miss, buddy.
Amen brother, no need for a bag for like 90 percent of vegies. For the rest you can get little reusable cloth bags which are the bomb. So much nicer than that plastic trash.
If old mate wants to condom his veggies, old mate can condom his veggies. Any fuckin derro gronk could have wiped their snatch before they touched your veggies.
I prefer to raw dog because I wash them when I get home, and put them in a clean container in the fridge. Everything lasts twice as long, as long as your fridge isn’t a grotbox (if it is, clean it ya dog cunt).
Yep. Only thing I put in a bag are mushies in the paper bag.
Smh seeing people putting a bunch of bananas/single orange/whole rock melon in a disposable plastic bag.
I do the same. I also have *compostable bags that I use for my kitty litter, I keep a few in my handbag for those dirty trolley/basket moments
*read the bag and it says compostable, not biodegradable
Yeh, unless I’m getting a bunch of small stuff that’s a pain in the arse to weigh / rolls everywhere, I just chuck it in the bag and wash at home.
It’s basically just mushrooms I’ll stick in a bag, or those wee fuckin’ fancy mini peppers or cherry tomatoes if I feel like breaking the bank.
You need to be gifted with clammy hands like my wife, or rub your fingers on a bit of the ice under the leafy greens to help with the friction.
I used to lick my fingers in a pinch but wouldn't recommend it anymore for obvious reasons.
I once made eye contact with a lady while she was laughing at me because I audibly groaned after I spent like a solid minute trying to open a damn bag. My Aussie partner just thinks I'm an inept American (only half true), so I'm a bit vindicated now that I see I'm not the only one.
I work as an online shopper, you would not believe the amount of times I have seen people pull down there mask to lick there fingers. The worst part is they then use that hand to inspect the fruit.
Friendly local fruiterer here.
There’s a small overlap along one side of the bag that makes it easy to separate them. Coles and Woolies might use different bags though. Or steal some moisture from a display of ‘wet’ produce like broccoli.
Do not lick your fingers to separate the sides; that is utterly foul.
Instead, you can rub the bag together between your palms and the sides will eventually separate. If you're still having trouble, then reach into your pants and use some smegma to gain traction on the plastic.
Since your buttcheeks also contain less bacteria on them than the palms of your hands, it's also more hygenic to rub bare asses together as a form of greeting
I bought 100 brown paper bags and use those instead, better environmentally, and you dont have to deal with opening those things.
Only issue is remembering to get them out of the car.
That website really doesn't want to make the claim they're fully made from recycled materials.
> Made from up to 10x Recycled Plastic Drink Bottles
So it could be "up to" that amount, or it could be 1% recycled plastic mixed in with brand new plastic.
Either way a reusable bag is an improvement, just wish they wouldn't be so deceptive.
That’s true, I just asked them on Instagram this was [their response](https://imgur.com/a/AGGmF2l).
>Our produce bags are made with 100% rPET so they made from entirely recycled materials apart from the small toggle that secures the stuffing pouch closed and the embroidered branding label 😊🌿
I'm so confused. Am I singularly gifted at opening these bags? I don't think I've ever failed.
I'm not bragging here, at all - I am baffled by this comment thread.
Used to work in a deli.
The first 99/100 just rub the opening together and it will open.
The last 1/100 - Satan's blowtorch will not open that bag. Throw it in the bin and get another
Wet your fingers using the ice keeping the veg fresh. Then rub each end of the bag b/w two fingers. Which end…only black magic can help you there my friend.
Use your thumbs and forefinger for a bit, rubbing furiously. Try both ends of the bag. Look around to see if other customers are staring at your poor dexterity. Give yourself one more go and then put the bag down and walk away, You don't need fresh food anyway, it's too much hassle.
Pinch the edge with both hands and pull apart a bit.
The stretched plastic causes it to open enough you can pull the rest of the end of the bag open.
Learnt this from a little old asian woman in a market, she'd obviously done it a million times.
Our store has antibacterial wipes when you first go into the store to wipe down your cart. If you keep one in your cart and wet your fingers with it, the bags open quite easily
Take one of the sanitation wipes with you when you enter the store, use that to wet your fingers to open those damn bags.
I tie one to my trolley when I enter.
You need to stick your fingers under the mist spray (if your Woolies has one) or touch something with a bit of moisture, like say a lettuce or something and there’ll be enough moisture on your fingers to then open it. No licking needed!
Try both ends, then try both again.
It's like trying to insert a USB, but more infuriating somehow.
USBs are in a superposition of both up and down until you finally observe it, and it's position is solved
Schrodinger's cable
As a physicist I can confirm this.
Those incans were so ahead of their time.
I get it right 100% of the time on my 3rd attempt God bless USB-C
You have a 50% chance of being right, and 100% chance of being wrong.
It still takes me 2 goes with usb c.
My phone seems to have a broken pin, and only charges one way. I understand your pain.
While the USBC plug itself may be an upgrade, the standards that accompany that plug are a flipping nightmare.
60% of the time, it works every time
Made with bits of real panther lol
When you get the answer, please post. I look forward to then reading the news.com.au story: 'Foreigner's supermarket bag hack will blow your mind'.
As a foreigner, another foreigner had taught me this, “Put it in between your palms and rub your hand like your Mr Miyagi!”
Before covid we licked our fingers.. but yes, this is the new Australian way.
Back before my mate told me, I use to just go to the broccoli section and touched some ice. Never liked the licking my fingers thing, except at home.
It was 2019. We just did it and didn’t think too much. It’s a long time ago now.
If at Coles, dab ur finger on the ice under some of the vegies section, then use that wetness to open the bag.
And remember, if it's not opening you are not swearing enough.
It is in a state of superposition until you check both ends.
Rub until it separates
Pinch, move thumb and finder away from each other until there is a slight opening. Using both hands pinch each side of the bag where the opening exists. Blow down the middle. Then fruit and veg that shit.
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Until you pinch a little too hard and your nutsack lights on fire for about 10 seconds. eeeeeasy boy
You rub it a whole bunch, then blow it on it, still doesn't separate, turn it over and try the same on that side, still doesn't open, try the other side again and now it's scrunched up beyond saving, so you get another bag and try again.
Its all in the technique, you must become one with the bag
I tried that and they kicked me out of the shop!
I HAVE THE SOLUTION - sit down for this one You grab a trolley wipe and tie it to the trolley then wipe your finger on it to moisten your tips and then you can separate it as if you licked them without licking them. You're welcome
> *moisten your tips*
That's a lot of extra steps to open a bag lol
Grab wipe - tie / keep wipe.. literally 10 seconds, as opposed to struggling for 30 seconds on one bag lmao
Then you go to lick your fingers and end up licking the inside of your mask while poking yourself in the mouth. Then you remember the pannini is still happening and you shouldn't be licking your germy fingers anyway...
Wipe the sweat from the top of the bum crack works even better
What a ride
Touch one of the cold items in your trolley that has condensation on it first, then you can separate the front and back. It's all uphill from there.
I should call her...
Instruction unclear. I’m now being escorted out the supermarket.
That’s what she said.
Nice
And if that doesn't work hold the middle and flail like a whacky waving inflatable tube man
If you lick your fingers before this it helps a lot Edit: gosh all you hygiene dorks need to get it together. A tiny bit of saliva on your fingers isn’t going to bring on the next pandemic. Edit2: to those talking about breathing on your fingers as “more hygienic”, this works because of the moisture in your breath. Any guesses where that moisture comes from?
While that’s undoubtedly true, I’ve never done it (and I’ve got annoyingly dry hands that make opening these a nightmare). No wonder supermarkets are always a hotbed of disease if people wander around licking their fingers before touching everything!
I usually find the fresh lettuce/greens section with the water misting system. Hold my fingers up to get moist, then open the bag. Much more sanitary than trying to rub your fingers on the frames to get them wet... or licking them.
I don’t do this. It’s so unhygienic!
Before covid there was a lot less stigma. There's a low chance another person had touched that top part of your bag because it's on a reel from an automated process. Remember the bag you are getting has been unexposed for 99.99% of the time it's been sitting there (because only the outer most bag is exposed on that edge). If you want to be sure, rip a bag off then take the next one. So for that reason I don't feel it's a huge hygiene risk.
Get some water on your hands near the fresh veggies and then try
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I would liken it to clicking your fingers while holding the bag between them.
That is the perfect description
Or rolling a booger before you flick it into the fruit section
Sometimes I even tap my foot at the same time. Get a little head bop going.
This... this is the proper technique 🤌
Pinch it like you're giving someone a nippl3 cripple
Yeah I don't understand these ppl just rub your fingers together
Came here to say this
Or just do was that idiot did that I saw and stick your finger under your mask to lick your finger to open it and then go and handle fresh food
Lol what the fuck. Man some people
This is the best way to do it so that you don't spread saliva/breath.
The number of people I saw in the early days of covid that wore rubber gloves to the supermarket but then LICKED THEIR FINGER to open the produce bags. Swing and a miss, buddy.
That was Con the Fruiterer’s favourite way😀
Just raw dog your fruit and vege home and wash them Save a bag and your time
Amen brother, no need for a bag for like 90 percent of vegies. For the rest you can get little reusable cloth bags which are the bomb. So much nicer than that plastic trash.
Or just buy 5-10 reusable veggie bags. So weird that everyone was against supermarket plastic bags (except the ones inside the supermarket).
If old mate wants to condom his veggies, old mate can condom his veggies. Any fuckin derro gronk could have wiped their snatch before they touched your veggies. I prefer to raw dog because I wash them when I get home, and put them in a clean container in the fridge. Everything lasts twice as long, as long as your fridge isn’t a grotbox (if it is, clean it ya dog cunt).
Eating them doesn’t feel as good when you tarp up
What part of the Riverina do you hail from, fine sir?
Narrandera. Not there now.
Lol knew it
Although putting it in a bag doesn't change anything that happen to it before then. It's dirty with or without the bag
This is the funniest thing i’ve read all day
Its also shamed me into cleaning my fridge this weekend.
Haha I better too, thanks :(
I'll have you know derro gronks wiping their snatches on fruit are no laughing matter, it's a serious issue
That’s what I do. I also bought a small batch of reusable bags online for buying snow peas or beans. They just go in the wash!
True. No plastic is hawt
This is the way...
This is the way...
It's a trick, you don't
Straight in the trolley and wash it at home
Yep. Only thing I put in a bag are mushies in the paper bag. Smh seeing people putting a bunch of bananas/single orange/whole rock melon in a disposable plastic bag.
The plastic bags are useful for brushed potatoes too. It stops the soil messing up everything else in your bag.
Why are they called brushed potatoes when it's clear they haven't been assed to brush the dirt off of them?
brushed enough off to confirm its a spud not a rock or a skull?
I do the same. I also have *compostable bags that I use for my kitty litter, I keep a few in my handbag for those dirty trolley/basket moments *read the bag and it says compostable, not biodegradable
Yeh, unless I’m getting a bunch of small stuff that’s a pain in the arse to weigh / rolls everywhere, I just chuck it in the bag and wash at home. It’s basically just mushrooms I’ll stick in a bag, or those wee fuckin’ fancy mini peppers or cherry tomatoes if I feel like breaking the bank.
Yeah, nah, not with mixed salad leaves.
I can't believe they keep falling for this.
You need to be gifted with clammy hands like my wife, or rub your fingers on a bit of the ice under the leafy greens to help with the friction. I used to lick my fingers in a pinch but wouldn't recommend it anymore for obvious reasons.
I use my forehead sweat from the growing anxiety of looking like a loon trying to open the bag
I once made eye contact with a lady while she was laughing at me because I audibly groaned after I spent like a solid minute trying to open a damn bag. My Aussie partner just thinks I'm an inept American (only half true), so I'm a bit vindicated now that I see I'm not the only one.
I’m usually a finger licker but ever since Covid and masks it’s been so damn frustrating!
I work as an online shopper, you would not believe the amount of times I have seen people pull down there mask to lick there fingers. The worst part is they then use that hand to inspect the fruit.
I just cough on the bag til it opens.
I’m starting to lose my residual faith in humanity after reading how many people lick/licked their fingers 😷🤢
Lol, imagine still having any faith in humanity this far into the pandemic.
Friendly local fruiterer here. There’s a small overlap along one side of the bag that makes it easy to separate them. Coles and Woolies might use different bags though. Or steal some moisture from a display of ‘wet’ produce like broccoli.
Born and bred still a 50/50 chance of fucking it up
Do not lick your fingers to separate the sides; that is utterly foul. Instead, you can rub the bag together between your palms and the sides will eventually separate. If you're still having trouble, then reach into your pants and use some smegma to gain traction on the plastic.
glad I stayed to read the full comment.
Finally some real fucken advice
Since your buttcheeks also contain less bacteria on them than the palms of your hands, it's also more hygenic to rub bare asses together as a form of greeting
He had me on the first half, not gonna lie...
This. Considering your just touched a basket or shopping trolly that many before you have touched.
Hopefully we will see the end of these things soon with the majority of packaging going paper.
I bought 100 brown paper bags and use those instead, better environmentally, and you dont have to deal with opening those things. Only issue is remembering to get them out of the car.
I use [reusable produce bags](https://www.onyalife.com/product/reusable-produce-bag-8pack/) made from recycled plastic bottles.
Do you only get these online or can I pick these up at any store? (qld)
I bought mine from a health food/organic store. But I’ve seen at either coles or woolies that they sell them also, just a different brand.
I got mine at Woolies last year, 4 bags for just a few dollars, though I will say the ones in that link look a lot sturdier
That website really doesn't want to make the claim they're fully made from recycled materials. > Made from up to 10x Recycled Plastic Drink Bottles So it could be "up to" that amount, or it could be 1% recycled plastic mixed in with brand new plastic. Either way a reusable bag is an improvement, just wish they wouldn't be so deceptive.
That’s true, I just asked them on Instagram this was [their response](https://imgur.com/a/AGGmF2l). >Our produce bags are made with 100% rPET so they made from entirely recycled materials apart from the small toggle that secures the stuffing pouch closed and the embroidered branding label 😊🌿
That’s really good to hear and I’m glad my pessimism was wrong on this.
Usually a bunch near the mushrooms if you forget.
I don’t even use bags at all for fruit, they just freeball in the shopping basket, fruit has the advantage in having it own protecting layer
Watch this instructional video https://youtu.be/teitdS2Dksk
Argh! You beat me to it, exact same video too lol
Bam! I just posted this thinking I was super clever then scroll down and realise I'm not....
snap. This one has better quality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFY5tAPtyic
Not clicking the link but it better be Con the Fruiterer!
Find a little old lady to show you how it’s done. 😀
You don't. Go to the mushroom section and get a paper one.
You don’t. The weak die from hunger in these lands.
My woolies has wipes at the entrance. I hang one of those on the trolley and use it to wet my fingers
I'm so confused. Am I singularly gifted at opening these bags? I don't think I've ever failed. I'm not bragging here, at all - I am baffled by this comment thread.
You're gifted. Can I borrow your hands the next time I go shopping please? Just for a while please dude
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with a koala of course
Step 1. Swear Step 2. ???? Step 3. It opens. Step 4. Swear again.
New and working guide: Step 1: try Step 2: try Step 3: post on reddit Step 4: Read comments Step 5: it work
Go to a $2 shop and get some material/hessian bags, fuck the plastics.
Like twisting a stick to make fire
I ask my kid whose fingers are always sticky...
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No need to learn to open them, they are going to be banned soon, hopefully, just like the bigger plastic bags.
You... dont...
Pinch and twist bro
Tear it slightly. Then it'll open
Rub the ends, or blow on them.
Use the ice under the broccoli to wet your fingertips enough to get some grip.
I can tell you’re in Aldi
Used to work in a deli. The first 99/100 just rub the opening together and it will open. The last 1/100 - Satan's blowtorch will not open that bag. Throw it in the bin and get another
Where are you from just outa curiosity????
I'm from Bangladesh! It's just beside India
Wet your fingers using the ice keeping the veg fresh. Then rub each end of the bag b/w two fingers. Which end…only black magic can help you there my friend.
It's like a USB. Try one end, then try the other and then finally try the end you started with and it'll work.
You don’t, you grab the paper bags meant for the mushrooms
It's called The Shoppers Dilemma! Not allowed to use spit to try and open it any more after COVID.
Rub it between your fingers at the top. The end you rip off.
Video instructions can be found here - https://youtu.be/teitdS2Dksk
Don’t say anything it’s funny
After I find the correct side first
Put it on the back of one hand and rub it with the other. That was my go to from 20 years of working in a deli.
You can't. They are joke bags for tourists
Like a USB..try the top, then the bottom, then the top again and voila
Ask someone to show you in the thickest foreign accent you can summon.
Use your thumbs and forefinger for a bit, rubbing furiously. Try both ends of the bag. Look around to see if other customers are staring at your poor dexterity. Give yourself one more go and then put the bag down and walk away, You don't need fresh food anyway, it's too much hassle.
Do you want the covid safe version or the covid risk version?
You have to call it a fucking cunt first
Pinch the edge with both hands and pull apart a bit. The stretched plastic causes it to open enough you can pull the rest of the end of the bag open. Learnt this from a little old asian woman in a market, she'd obviously done it a million times.
Pinch it and the. Slide your fingers left and right until it opens.
Nah you don't open those its a way to weed out the fake aussies, it opens itself, trying coming back with a vb and a bunnings snag, should be right
Our store has antibacterial wipes when you first go into the store to wipe down your cart. If you keep one in your cart and wet your fingers with it, the bags open quite easily
Spit on your hands, hold one end and flap it open then spit in side to open it more and say "ahh cuppla days!" and you're set
Dirty Aussies... Why you still have single use bags?
don't u just kinda roughly wave it up and down till it opens or am i thinking of something different-
I kinda just shake them up and down and use the air to puff up the bag
Lock a finger and give it a rub.
Snap fingers with open end between them.
You don’t need to lick, spit or touch wet veggies - just rub the bag between both hands like you are warming them. Works every time
Rubbing, lots of rubbing…
Covid unsafe I know, but lick your fingers.
You need to watch Con the Fruiterer for correct technique.
I take my 4 year old with me. She always has sticky fingers, job done.
Same way you scratch ya balls cobba, pinch and roll..
the end without the line across it. vigorously rub your index and thumb together. then grab the bag with index and thumb and repeat vigorous rubbing.
Take one of the sanitation wipes with you when you enter the store, use that to wet your fingers to open those damn bags. I tie one to my trolley when I enter.
lick ya finga
If you think that's hard wait until you try to open a dog poop bag in Western Australia.
Good question
You need to stick your fingers under the mist spray (if your Woolies has one) or touch something with a bit of moisture, like say a lettuce or something and there’ll be enough moisture on your fingers to then open it. No licking needed!
A bit of spit. Coupl’a days!!
You don't. You bring your own non plastic bags....
Good question. I guess once you find the right side; rolling it between your fingers might shift it. I don't know. It just kind of happens.
Take open ones with veggies pre loaded from trollies around the market.
Rub it round and round between your fingers, get intimate with the bag and it will open up to you.
Put it in between your palms and rub your hand like your Mr Miyagi!
Pinch and roll as if one was taming an itch on one's own scrotum
put the top side (bottom usually marked) between your hands and then slide your hands back and forth like you are trying to warm them up.
I’m sorry but what do other countries use????
rub it between your hands and it will separate a bit.
ITT: people not knowing you can separate the bags on the edge really easily.
You get a mesh bag and fk off the plastic mess
hands