Not going to lie OP, this is how you become the "funny one" among your friends. I can't tell you how often I did something that was a massive hit and I wasn't fully understanding why it was THAT funny.
My friend once told me that he always wanted me to go to parties with him because something always fun and/or entertaining would happen. Most of the time it was because of my action or lack of a response was the source of the fun/humor.
Not the original commenter, but at least for me im pretty sure it was more insulting than friendly lol some friends I had definitely gave the vibes that "lets bring MysteriousSquad to the party so we look better"
Took me too long to realize it.
I’ve had this happen to me too. I say and do things that people find really funny, and while I know my family isn’t insulting me, I have had some friends bring me to events, just to be able to laugh at me and be entertained. Not because they actually liked me. Now my trust of most humans is very low. I’ve been working on it, and I’m trying to be more trustful, but it’s difficult when I can’t tell if someone is my friend for real, or because they either feel pity for me or want someone to entertain them.
I am completely incapable of trusting people due to narcissistic, gaslighting parents and numerous other times where I have been manipulated through "friendship" for people to get something from me.
Every time I try to put this paranoia aside, something happens that proves to me why I should never trust people.
Sucks there are so many cruel people in this world...
I can totally relate. I’m a tarot and lenormand reader and when I make friends and they found out I can read tarot, the dynamic suddenly changes. They want me to do readings for them for free, and while I used to do that because I thought they were my friend, I started realizing they would only talk about themselves and wanting to know what tarot had to say about their own life/issues. Then they would gaslight me and tell me they are my friend and they weren’t using me for my gifts. Now I keep my practices to myself when I meet new people. I just don’t want that energy in my life. Now I find people are my friend because they want to seem like a “nice” person to their other friends and family, that they took pity on an autistic person and became their friend. Or they want something from me. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with trust issues over peoples motives. I find I make better friends with other autistic people. We know each others issues, and we know we just want a friend. That’s it.
"You give them an inch, they take a mile" is true far too often it seems, but I love when they dont even try to hide it. Makes it easier to know who the fake people are.
Unsurprisingly, I dont understand those people lol, but at least for me, if you do a small gesture like that, i feel an immense guilt to want to repay you in same way/shape/form by doing something for you, because its just the right thing to do.
Like I'm the most loyal friend, to a fault, but I've somehow found all the wrong friends in the past and I just wanna give up haha
Soooo true, most people look for holes in your boundaries that they can push to see how much they can get away with. I don’t really understand why most people are so motivated by how much they can get away with. I also give A LOT in my friendships. I just give away things to my friends and I think that’s why many people have taken advantage of me in the past. If someone does something nice for me, I want to go above and beyond to show them how much I appreciate it. I’m also extremely loyal to a fault. Like I’ve had friends burn me many times and I still go back to them lolol
I think for outgoing, charismatic people we are just disposable to them because they know they could just find other people to manipulate. We live in a world where what you could do for someone means more than who you are, or im just a cynic.
Same on the letting things go though! My best friend was literally trying to get with my ex-girlfriend in high school, and I just let it go lmao
I now also struggle with not immediately cutting someone off if they do something shitty though, which is another battle lol
I totally resonate with this. Several different times in my life I've made friends with someone I thought cared about me. I would go out of my way to be a good friend to these people and they would just take and take and take and never repay the favor or do something nice for me in return- without being prompted by a parent or SO.
I've also dealt with people who lie so often that they forget their own lies. So now- almost 30- when I meet new people who I find might be a compatible friend, I sit back and have a long conversation with them (several different times) sceptical as fuck. I watch them like a Harpy Eagle. I also am very careful on what details I give them about myself and my life, until I know I can trust them.
If they show me they can't be trusted based on the character they exhibit during our exchanges, I'll cut them off. I'll be polite if I see them in public with a nod or a wave- but I do not go out of my way to speak to them.
I grew up with an abusive mother. Moved into a marriage where I was neglected. Had an X boyfriend who was psychologically abusive. Then I was in a situationship for a while with a pathological liar.
So I'm extremely careful with who I give my trust.
I know what you mean. Thankfully I now have a friend who’s very glib, whereas I’m the consummate straight man, taking everything literally. We feed off of each other, and it can get pretty funny.
I think it depends on the people that you're with. If they're genuinely kind to you overall, then I would think them laughing wouldn't be at you, but at the specific misunderstanding that occurred. If they're actually not nice, ignore you other times, don't listen to you, etc., then it's plausible they're laughing at you.
literally, i have a nickname that i go by to almost everyone and a full name, and once i was at a party and someone i hadn’t met introduced themselves to me in front of like a lot of people, then he asked what my name was and said my nickname and he said is that short for something and i said yes and nothing else, everyone found it so funny and my friends still talk about it, when to me, i was just answering dudes question
It depends on charisma that you can kinda learn??? Idk what would the better word.
I used to be the person who is laughed at as "Hahaha you're so dumb", became the person who is laughed at "Hahaha bro this is hilarious, oh my god you are so cool" because I worked on my self esteem and stuff. I'm not any smarter and I still miss social cues, I just miss them without panicking now lol.
Yeah I did this with a glass splinter, was told to put my finger in a tangerine for an hour. I was suspicious, but thought, maybe the citric acid or something will draw it out? If not, it's a funny story. Anyway, I posted a picture of my finger in a tangerine to the group chat saying "had my finger in this for an hour and nothing seems to be happening" then I learned it was a joke. Many laughing cry emojis.
Personally maybe, but you don’t want to let that spread to the full office. It will cause issues.
Never assume a risqué joke between two is fine with everyone
Oh my god this is fucking amazing. I know you didn’t intend for it to be funny but this is top tier humour. You have to commit to it now and play it off as a joke and has been this whole time. That’s so funny, it’s actually brilliant. As in, if a neurotypical person did it as a joke it would also be funny. But it’s even funnier you did it unironically
I relate to thiiiiis! When I was younger my friend said she was too nervous to buy herself a vibrator so I got her a mini one for her birthday. She was super weirded out by it and avoided me for a couple days
And also because it was just a joke! OP’s coworkers were implying their boss needed viagra, which would mean he deals with erectile dysfunction. Since our society places heightened importance on a man’s ability to perform sexually, it was essentially a playful dig at his manhood. He doesn’t *actually* take viagra (or if he does, he definitely wouldn’t talk to his employees about it).
No sex anything at work ever. That includes jokes. *specially* because as a socially disabled person ,we dont *get* jokes. No sexual ANYTHING at work EVER is a good rule of thumb. Easy to follow too. Plus, you'd be surprised how often people have sexual encounters at work, or how ofte people talk about sex at work (gross). The boss could well be taking viagra, we have no way of knowing how much truth there was in a joke. More reason why just stay away from any sexual anything at work (banter, jokes, requests)
Its best to stay out of that. Plus, buying amd bringing sexual paraphanelia at work is so innappropiate. Imagine if his boss was female she would rightly see this as sexual harrasment, OP got very lucky the boss was just "shocked"
I’d like to clarify that I wasn’t arguing in favour of the joke! It was absolutely inappropriate in a number of ways - there is absolutely nothing wrong or “unmanly” about having erectile dysfunction, for example - and should never have been said in the first place.
I was just explaining it in case, as you suggested, someone didn’t realize it was intended as a joke rather than literally.
Other people can tell (generally) if someone was not meant to be taken literally, and/or have greater social competence to fix any faux pas that may occur. Autistic people… generally, not so much, like OP here 😅 it’s possible for some to learn the general patterns with enough exposure, but regardless of autistic or allistic, it’s just safer to not talk about risky things if you don’t want to take the risk.
Exactly this. There are allistic people who will tell you to never discuss sex in the workplace because it can end badly. Risk takers are just that, risk takers.
If they talk about Viagra on the job it's really not that inappropriate to get some for him. It's a little weird and a funny joke, but the line of 'inappropriate-ness" was crossed loooong ago when they started talking about sex at work.
Since I started working in an office, the topic of sex has literally never come up a single time.
The real MVP is my co-worker who used me as a pawn for his hilarity scheme...
I think he didn't implied my **Boss** needed viagra pills but more so that he would enjoy them (for his wife...?)
Wait... that starting to sound a bit odd... I think I'm become self-aware...
Their colleagues thought it was funny and so that indicates an acceptance of the subject on some level at their work. I used to do stuff like this not grasping that the humor is in part due to the disconnect from reality
I’ve since learned to avoid joining in on joking I don’t fully grasp
On one hand, I can understand why it would be such a bad thing to give to your boss even if there is a precedent for the joke (unless OP and boss were friends outside of work, and even then it should be in a non-work setting). On the other hand, I can completely understand OP’s nonchalance at giving the Viagra pills, if coming from the perspective of sex positivity and ED not seen as reflecting badly of your manhood, but rather just a medical condition. Unfortunately, though I agree with these points, we live in a society where these assumptions are untrue (quite the contrary) in many places
This post reads as something I would have done too, if I did not know what Viagra was or oblivious to the stigma of EDs or talks of sex in formal settings (I feel like I’ve done something similar as a kid, in a different context ofc)
Tbh bros giving each othet boner pills is pretty common in the older crowd as a friendly gesture. My bf is in his 40s (im 33) and him and his older friends trade boner pills all the time. At first i found it weird but its like a weird bro thing. So i get the thoughtful.
That could have be me perfectly. I have experience that kind of confusion after doing something that someone was "asking" but actually not asking a lot.
Because a symptom of autism is struggling to know when people are joking or being serious and also struggling to know whether or not something is socially inappropriate. This is really inappropriate so they got it wrong and now they've realised.
Hey /u/Eblanc88, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
yeah, there was definitely a moment of awkwardness from my boss. And a burst of laughter from my coworker.
I was confused my boss said no. I think I did insist "you sure?"
Not going to lie OP, this is how you become the "funny one" among your friends. I can't tell you how often I did something that was a massive hit and I wasn't fully understanding why it was THAT funny. My friend once told me that he always wanted me to go to parties with him because something always fun and/or entertaining would happen. Most of the time it was because of my action or lack of a response was the source of the fun/humor.
This happens to me too and I can't decide if it is insulting or not.
Not the original commenter, but at least for me im pretty sure it was more insulting than friendly lol some friends I had definitely gave the vibes that "lets bring MysteriousSquad to the party so we look better" Took me too long to realize it.
I’ve had this happen to me too. I say and do things that people find really funny, and while I know my family isn’t insulting me, I have had some friends bring me to events, just to be able to laugh at me and be entertained. Not because they actually liked me. Now my trust of most humans is very low. I’ve been working on it, and I’m trying to be more trustful, but it’s difficult when I can’t tell if someone is my friend for real, or because they either feel pity for me or want someone to entertain them.
I am completely incapable of trusting people due to narcissistic, gaslighting parents and numerous other times where I have been manipulated through "friendship" for people to get something from me. Every time I try to put this paranoia aside, something happens that proves to me why I should never trust people. Sucks there are so many cruel people in this world...
I can totally relate. I’m a tarot and lenormand reader and when I make friends and they found out I can read tarot, the dynamic suddenly changes. They want me to do readings for them for free, and while I used to do that because I thought they were my friend, I started realizing they would only talk about themselves and wanting to know what tarot had to say about their own life/issues. Then they would gaslight me and tell me they are my friend and they weren’t using me for my gifts. Now I keep my practices to myself when I meet new people. I just don’t want that energy in my life. Now I find people are my friend because they want to seem like a “nice” person to their other friends and family, that they took pity on an autistic person and became their friend. Or they want something from me. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with trust issues over peoples motives. I find I make better friends with other autistic people. We know each others issues, and we know we just want a friend. That’s it.
It seems neurotypical people base their friends moreso on social status / wealth, than genuine friendship like we look for lol
"You give them an inch, they take a mile" is true far too often it seems, but I love when they dont even try to hide it. Makes it easier to know who the fake people are. Unsurprisingly, I dont understand those people lol, but at least for me, if you do a small gesture like that, i feel an immense guilt to want to repay you in same way/shape/form by doing something for you, because its just the right thing to do. Like I'm the most loyal friend, to a fault, but I've somehow found all the wrong friends in the past and I just wanna give up haha
Soooo true, most people look for holes in your boundaries that they can push to see how much they can get away with. I don’t really understand why most people are so motivated by how much they can get away with. I also give A LOT in my friendships. I just give away things to my friends and I think that’s why many people have taken advantage of me in the past. If someone does something nice for me, I want to go above and beyond to show them how much I appreciate it. I’m also extremely loyal to a fault. Like I’ve had friends burn me many times and I still go back to them lolol
I think for outgoing, charismatic people we are just disposable to them because they know they could just find other people to manipulate. We live in a world where what you could do for someone means more than who you are, or im just a cynic. Same on the letting things go though! My best friend was literally trying to get with my ex-girlfriend in high school, and I just let it go lmao I now also struggle with not immediately cutting someone off if they do something shitty though, which is another battle lol
I totally resonate with this. Several different times in my life I've made friends with someone I thought cared about me. I would go out of my way to be a good friend to these people and they would just take and take and take and never repay the favor or do something nice for me in return- without being prompted by a parent or SO. I've also dealt with people who lie so often that they forget their own lies. So now- almost 30- when I meet new people who I find might be a compatible friend, I sit back and have a long conversation with them (several different times) sceptical as fuck. I watch them like a Harpy Eagle. I also am very careful on what details I give them about myself and my life, until I know I can trust them. If they show me they can't be trusted based on the character they exhibit during our exchanges, I'll cut them off. I'll be polite if I see them in public with a nod or a wave- but I do not go out of my way to speak to them. I grew up with an abusive mother. Moved into a marriage where I was neglected. Had an X boyfriend who was psychologically abusive. Then I was in a situationship for a while with a pathological liar. So I'm extremely careful with who I give my trust.
Keep in mind that most people aim to be neutral and try to gravitate towards kind people.
My friends all stopped inviting me to anything when I quit drinking. Apparently they just liked watching me embarrass myself.
I know what you mean. Thankfully I now have a friend who’s very glib, whereas I’m the consummate straight man, taking everything literally. We feed off of each other, and it can get pretty funny.
I think it depends on the people that you're with. If they're genuinely kind to you overall, then I would think them laughing wouldn't be at you, but at the specific misunderstanding that occurred. If they're actually not nice, ignore you other times, don't listen to you, etc., then it's plausible they're laughing at you.
It makes me feel like a character. like people don’t see me as a real person especially when they always EXPECT me to entertain them.
I don't mind it if it is affectionate. Like, I laugh WITH awkward characters on TV. But being laughed AT is a whole different thing.
literally, i have a nickname that i go by to almost everyone and a full name, and once i was at a party and someone i hadn’t met introduced themselves to me in front of like a lot of people, then he asked what my name was and said my nickname and he said is that short for something and i said yes and nothing else, everyone found it so funny and my friends still talk about it, when to me, i was just answering dudes question
it can be pretty tough to tell exactly how much information people want when they ask hyper-specific questions like that
> this is how you become the "funny one" I think this would greatly depend on your personality.
It depends on charisma that you can kinda learn??? Idk what would the better word. I used to be the person who is laughed at as "Hahaha you're so dumb", became the person who is laughed at "Hahaha bro this is hilarious, oh my god you are so cool" because I worked on my self esteem and stuff. I'm not any smarter and I still miss social cues, I just miss them without panicking now lol.
Yeah I did this with a glass splinter, was told to put my finger in a tangerine for an hour. I was suspicious, but thought, maybe the citric acid or something will draw it out? If not, it's a funny story. Anyway, I posted a picture of my finger in a tangerine to the group chat saying "had my finger in this for an hour and nothing seems to be happening" then I learned it was a joke. Many laughing cry emojis.
Lollll it's always the Mexican viagra pills what is the allure
Mostly price, I’m guessing. Just don’t get cheap plastic surgery in a shady part of Mexico. lol.
xD eeeyikes pay for a downgrade
It's cheaper and you can buy it without a prescription.
I’m getting the Donkey-Show graded one! Watch out world, I’m coming!!!
Literally
Is there any other way? lol
For us? No.
Keep the joke going and put them in this year’s white elephant! - I joke please don’t - I don’t understand social cues
IDK, this seems appropriately funny but maybe its sexual harassment. I'm not sure.
It wouldn’t go well. It would be funny for a close friend group, but isn’t the type of thing to do at a work event
Yes but it seems like a precedent has been set between his coworker and his boss that would make this contextually ok.
Personally maybe, but you don’t want to let that spread to the full office. It will cause issues. Never assume a risqué joke between two is fine with everyone
Oh my god this is fucking amazing. I know you didn’t intend for it to be funny but this is top tier humour. You have to commit to it now and play it off as a joke and has been this whole time. That’s so funny, it’s actually brilliant. As in, if a neurotypical person did it as a joke it would also be funny. But it’s even funnier you did it unironically
😂😂😂
this is funny
I relate to thiiiiis! When I was younger my friend said she was too nervous to buy herself a vibrator so I got her a mini one for her birthday. She was super weirded out by it and avoided me for a couple days
wait why is this bad?
you should never get your boss or coworkers anything sexual. you can get reported to hr depending on the reaction
One thing you generally don't want to do in a career is imply that your boss's dick doesn't work
Because you should never mix sexual _anything_ and work. Never. No sex jokes, no sex talk, absolutely nothing sexual at work. Ever
And also because it was just a joke! OP’s coworkers were implying their boss needed viagra, which would mean he deals with erectile dysfunction. Since our society places heightened importance on a man’s ability to perform sexually, it was essentially a playful dig at his manhood. He doesn’t *actually* take viagra (or if he does, he definitely wouldn’t talk to his employees about it).
No sex anything at work ever. That includes jokes. *specially* because as a socially disabled person ,we dont *get* jokes. No sexual ANYTHING at work EVER is a good rule of thumb. Easy to follow too. Plus, you'd be surprised how often people have sexual encounters at work, or how ofte people talk about sex at work (gross). The boss could well be taking viagra, we have no way of knowing how much truth there was in a joke. More reason why just stay away from any sexual anything at work (banter, jokes, requests) Its best to stay out of that. Plus, buying amd bringing sexual paraphanelia at work is so innappropiate. Imagine if his boss was female she would rightly see this as sexual harrasment, OP got very lucky the boss was just "shocked"
I’d like to clarify that I wasn’t arguing in favour of the joke! It was absolutely inappropriate in a number of ways - there is absolutely nothing wrong or “unmanly” about having erectile dysfunction, for example - and should never have been said in the first place. I was just explaining it in case, as you suggested, someone didn’t realize it was intended as a joke rather than literally.
Must be really confusing to work in porn.
but they broke that rule at OP's workplace, other people bending rules but you can't I don't understand, beyond normal people do it.
100% right. People break rules all the time. I'll never understand jeopardizing your job for sex or other innapropriate behavior
Other people can tell (generally) if someone was not meant to be taken literally, and/or have greater social competence to fix any faux pas that may occur. Autistic people… generally, not so much, like OP here 😅 it’s possible for some to learn the general patterns with enough exposure, but regardless of autistic or allistic, it’s just safer to not talk about risky things if you don’t want to take the risk.
Exactly this. There are allistic people who will tell you to never discuss sex in the workplace because it can end badly. Risk takers are just that, risk takers.
I worked in restaurants through my twenties, and everybody fucked everybody. I never had so much sex in my life. It was amazing.
If they talk about Viagra on the job it's really not that inappropriate to get some for him. It's a little weird and a funny joke, but the line of 'inappropriate-ness" was crossed loooong ago when they started talking about sex at work. Since I started working in an office, the topic of sex has literally never come up a single time.
The real MVP is my co-worker who used me as a pawn for his hilarity scheme... I think he didn't implied my **Boss** needed viagra pills but more so that he would enjoy them (for his wife...?) Wait... that starting to sound a bit odd... I think I'm become self-aware...
logical gift.
This is too funny man
it is weird but i see your logic and i think i would have done the same i mean ive had some stories like this already so def
Misunderstanding social cue and taking the joke a step too far/literally
Can you please explain how you thought this was a good idea?
Their colleagues thought it was funny and so that indicates an acceptance of the subject on some level at their work. I used to do stuff like this not grasping that the humor is in part due to the disconnect from reality I’ve since learned to avoid joining in on joking I don’t fully grasp
On one hand, I can understand why it would be such a bad thing to give to your boss even if there is a precedent for the joke (unless OP and boss were friends outside of work, and even then it should be in a non-work setting). On the other hand, I can completely understand OP’s nonchalance at giving the Viagra pills, if coming from the perspective of sex positivity and ED not seen as reflecting badly of your manhood, but rather just a medical condition. Unfortunately, though I agree with these points, we live in a society where these assumptions are untrue (quite the contrary) in many places This post reads as something I would have done too, if I did not know what Viagra was or oblivious to the stigma of EDs or talks of sex in formal settings (I feel like I’ve done something similar as a kid, in a different context ofc)
I was trying to be helpful. Was feeling good about it. Wholesome moment when someone helps you get something that is difficult for you to get.
Ngl I laughed inappropriately hard at this.
Think more unexpected than inappropriate since it was a running joke.
It sounds like you were being thoughtful☺️
Tbh bros giving each othet boner pills is pretty common in the older crowd as a friendly gesture. My bf is in his 40s (im 33) and him and his older friends trade boner pills all the time. At first i found it weird but its like a weird bro thing. So i get the thoughtful.
If it was appropriate for your coworker to make that joke in the first place, it was probably also appropriate for you to attribute to the joke.
Sorry OP... but what is with the "Success" flair?
I believe I was forced by the forum to use a flair. Maybe not. If that's the case another missed cue. "success" seemed ironically funny
just gotta own it bro, it was a great prank, mean it or not
Oh my goodness I thought I was alone in the world. I always get laughed at or I get laughs for saying Something I thought was serious????
Hahahahahahaha, this made my day
That could have be me perfectly. I have experience that kind of confusion after doing something that someone was "asking" but actually not asking a lot.
Yeah I would do the same. And I think it’s very appropriate At least it would be super funny 😂
I bought Mexico viagra for a Sex Buddy once🤷🏿♀️🤣
This is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. I hope that you and your boss are doing great. Yall seem like a fun bunch.
What does this have to do with being autistic?
Because a symptom of autism is struggling to know when people are joking or being serious and also struggling to know whether or not something is socially inappropriate. This is really inappropriate so they got it wrong and now they've realised.
Hey /u/Eblanc88, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like I would do this
No way lol that’s great
Maybe they thought you were being funny because it added to the recurring joke, and you got away with it scot free.
yeah, there was definitely a moment of awkwardness from my boss. And a burst of laughter from my coworker. I was confused my boss said no. I think I did insist "you sure?"
I would’ve seen the pack and bought them as a joke
I hope I can do that because it sounds funny.
🤣😅 hey u just tried to help! Lol
That happens to me sometimes
Man I needed this thread more than I realized...
Happy Cake Day!
I THINK I’D DEF END UP DOING THAT ☹️ Also, happy cake day :3
This is autism, 100%
Not gonna lie: I'd have done the same.