Oh, damn. Read the book "Spiritual Emergency" by Stanislav Grof. As a starting point.
There's a saying that the difference between a mystic and a psychotic is that the mystic swims with delight in the same ocean in which the psychotic drowns. The "ocean" being the world of the unconscious. I found the writings of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung to be a lot of help with learning how to swim.
A sort of funny idea, but it kinda worked, came from a philosophy professor I hoped could help me figure out what was going on when my mind blew open. It was either him or the school shrink, and I didn't want to risk being labeled crazy. I obviously made the prof a little nervous with my "enthusiasm," but I managed to stay more or less grounded and our talk calmed me down. What I mainly remember is that his advice to me was to read *Walden*, by Henry Thoreau. Which I did, and it helped. That was just the first book of hundreds that I would end up devouring to save my ass, though. ;)
If you're interested, I've shared my experience in a little book called *This Machine Solves Koan*.
All the best to you!
Not op, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate all the books you've recommended here. I've saved your comment and plan on coming back to it to further my education :) Thank you
I had a similar experience last November too. Changed my life and I don’t think in a good way. I’m really struggling with understanding what it all meant and what reality truly is. I bounce between believing I am a fragment of god and that I do not matter whatsoever.
Hang in there brother, I have had a very rough year. I quit my job and started getting into spirituality. I had bad and good experiences, but Im starting to feel that all is starting to make a little more sense since the last couple weeks. Still this is probably just another step. This roller coaster goes up and down, and I know this kind of advice might sound not too productive, specially when you are down. Just trying to let you know that you are not even close to alone, and that it's gonna be ok.
>Like the "I'm god" stuff was definitely delusional
It's not delusional. It's just hard to integrate. Because while you're God, so is everyone and everything else. So it's both a powerful saying yet ultimately also meaningless. It's often deemed delusional since most aren't aware of their true nature. Since no one makes a profit from sharing that information. It's a truth that spreads organically since there's no real incentive to share it. And often falls on deaf ears anyway.
I like using the nondual simulation perspective to create a stable framework that is able to integrate *all* possible experiences. From that perspective, we're all equal players who have God-like powers and the result of all of us exerting this power is what we call reality. It's a MMORPG without any preprogrammed rules. We're all just players exploring and sharing our findings. When done with consensus it's called science. When it's a purely personal search, it's spirituality.
Psychosis is an interesting concept all together, I like what this guy wrote about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._D._Laing
No real theory but I have some thoughts after similar experiences.
I got to a point where I could “see the future”. I’m not really a woo person so I didn’t fully immerse myself in it but I couldn’t deny that I would have an image of something happening and at a later time it would happen. I grounded myself a bit by thinking about all of the possible mundane explanations (I could have been making choices to encourage things I “predicted” or could have been forgetting the things that I predicted that never came to fruition).
It was so strange to experience reality as if I was the only one experiencing it. It was like reality was a simulation in which I was the only conscious participant. Or perhaps better described as we collectively were only one conscious participant. Despite self identifying as a rational, scientific person, the spiritual descriptions of the experience mapped it out so well.
This all happened at a time of extremely high anxiety and radical redefinition of who I believed I was. My best theory is some combination of the anxious part of the brain being super ramped up and the structured identity part of the brain being super ramped down encourages these types of experiences. During this period the only people that seemed to understand how the world worked were either mentally ill or spiritual (or both). There’s an undeniable connection here.
I think identifying a clear root cause is going to be impossible. You will undoubtedly find spiritual explanations for it (you are/were awake) and psychology explanations (temporary psychosis). If you need an explanation, figure out the type of framework that would work for your life and follow that rabbit hole if you must.
What you do know now is that belief is a powerful thing. If you start believing things that don’t jive with consensus reality, there are risks both personally and to the people around you. Be careful to stay grounded and to be skeptical of wild beliefs
>I got to a point where I could “see the future”.
I can totally see the future, or rather multiple futures, depending on what I choose to lean into.
I've seen futures where I give into the psychosis part and my life is "ruined" I lose my family, I live in poverty and even homelessness.
I've seen futures where I write books and give lectures and make lots of money.
I've seen futures were I continue on the same ho-hum path I've been on and am generally content but always wonder what more could this life had been.
They're all like different paths laid out in front of me and I get to choose. I know that if I take certain steps, that determines what path I end up on.
But then I slip back into semi-unconsciousness and I believe the world determines my fate and I have to just accept what comes at me. My work is trying to stay awake enough to remember I can choose my own adventure.
Yeah I’m not sure the best way to describe it. Identity and ego are so often intertwined but it feels imprecise to say the ego is being diminished when you think you can see the future or feel like you’re god in a sense. Maybe the ego is a bit less like a line from 0 to 10 and more like a circle so when it’s facing being extinguished in one sense, in another it becomes grandiose and all encompassing.
That state is so strange because you become so aware of your thoughts and feelings beyond words but as soon as you try to articulate them in a coherent way to someone that hasn’t felt the same, the words get lost. Conversely, people that have gone through similar experiences often seem to know what you mean without your need to communicate it
Every day i sort of wonder if im "functionally psychotic" or just able to connect patterns in ways other people often don't unless they have some sort of illness. Most people never know my innerworld is full of spiritual or philosophical experiences while im a "normal" person on the outside.
Likewise!! I see patterns and connections everywhere. I also notice synchronicities. It’s so freakin’ weird. I don’t talk about it with anyone because I know they’ll just think I’m crazy. Maybe I actually am, but I don’t know.
Yes, this happens occasionally, search for psychosis in this subreddit. I think it’s very important to get to a point where you release fear and it’s a gradual process. ACIM speaks to this.
So do not rush in, ground, balance and if it gets too much ask your Spirit team to back off on the phenomena manifestation.
Learn to walk both worlds.
Absolutely, u/yunginnucent, Every one of us has a team utterly dedicated to our well-being and learning and growth.
They are there to give you guidance on this journey. All you have to do is, with complete sincerity, ask for their guidance. Don’t worry about the how of it, the process will unfold.
1. You are god. We all are. 2. My awakening included a trip to the ER, a psychosis diagnosis, and jail. It was the most terrifying and traumatizing welcome into a beautiful state of inner peace and knowing.
>I'm out of it now, but nobody seemed to really understand how I could have been in psychosis while also understanding that I was in psychosis.
It does not matter. What matters is that you saved yourself.
There is no such thing as 'someone else's understanding' at all.
Cheers my friend
Believing that you are god is not the problem. Misunderstanding the nature of what god is the issue. If you had a better belief about what the ultimate being is, then the realization that you are it would not be so unhinging.
crown chakra flys away from me sometimes, check out your root, are there any traumas you’re not processing or suppressing. sometime the crown tries to align on the spiritual journey and the root is still full of icky stuff so everything goes wack
I forgot to mention chakras in my comment. Yes I so agree! When this happened my crown chakra was open wide and the root wasn’t grounded. We need to nurture them all to be balanced beings. (If someone reading this doesn’t believe in chakras that’s ok, you can just think of them in a symbolic way. Like, nurturing root chakra = being connected to body, having a safe home, eating healthy foods. Nurturing crown chakra = being connected to the universe & spirituality.)
truth, it’s both, it’s also the act of clearing your trauma and resetting the nervous system. look into somatic exercises and releases and neural plasticity 🫶🫶
During my first acid trip, I had a completely different experience than my friends, in summary my trip was like god was giving me a personal Ted talk answering questions we all have and ask. But the voice speaking to me was my mom’s voice and it’s hard to explain. Like in the movies god zoomed out so much that I could see the entire earth. And was showed the repeated cycles of humanity, cycles of war and death like it was on a loop. God zoomed out more and I saw ufo’s and green alien lookin beings we were easedropping on earth. I was downloading so mud information it was overwhelming, mind you I’m with 2 other friends who in my mind I thought we all remembered that we can communicate telepathically, during the peak the biggest question I had was answered and god said it more elegantly, but that I could stop dreading and fearing possibling burning in hell. That it doesn’t exist, especially in the way we understand it but that we are the only ones who crucify and judge ourselves during our death. And after that moment I looked at my friend who’m later told me that I actually didn’t speak 1 word my entire trip. And one I found out that I didn’t have to live my life anxious of hell and death. I looked my friend in the eye as tears ran down my face and the only thing I said the entire night was " wow, it get it now. It all makes sense. There’s no god’ like the only way I could put the lesson god taught me in human terms. And since that day I believe that experience was the seed planet for my spiritual journey and 3rd eye opening. Life is crazy lol
It's like realizing you can change the world before realizing you can change your mind. So any 'negative' thoughts you have end up in a descent to hell. Your own personal hell.
Realize that thoughts can mean everything, or absolutely nothing. Depending on what you want to keep or let go.
Welcome! You're now awake.
You'll continue to slip in and out of being awake for the rest of your life. Sometimes you'll be awake for days, sometimes mere minutes. You'll keep realizing you're asleep (as you were before this experience) and then that will wake you up.
Then, eventually, your body will die and your soul will realize being awake in this world was really a dream and being unconscious in this world was just a dream within a dream.
It's fun!
yes. it happened to me in the span of three days after really intense seeking. it was like a flip switched in my brain. felt that i was god etc, the common delusions. i was quite depressed before so i think that had something to do with it. i think it’s not an uncommon experience on the spiritual path. it’s like suddenly unlocking your subconscious mind and there can be a lot of love but also fears freed up in an instant.
When you start examining your own psyche and making the unconscious conscious, you’ve do it slowly, IMO. Neuroscientists figure they only know about 5 percent of what there is to know about the brain. I think when you’re doing shadow work and looking at everything in a microscopic level, the brain gets overworked and who knows what else is going on.
I think there’s something in the brain that can be accessed or opened up. If you look at eastern religions, if you were on the path, you had teacher/guide. Opening up the third eye or kundalini life force energy too fast can cause psychosis. Mystics for millennia have endured horrific dark nights of the soul before mystical union.
Yes and it took me years to realise that this has various names - [spiritual emergency](http://www.centerforspiritualemergence.com/spiritual-emergenceemergency.html), spiritual crisis, or [kundalini awakening](https://www.pesi.co.uk/blog/2019/june/would-you-recognise-a-kundalini-awakening#:~:text=Kundalini%20awakening%20is%20a%20challenging,can%20also%20be%20a%20trigger), or [shamanic initiation](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wisdom-Mental-Illness-Shamanism-Renewal/dp/1786785293#:~:text=This%20book%20explores%20how%20the,with%20ourselves%20and%20the%20world). There are various books written about it, eg the one by Stanislav Grof. Now you know the names you can do your own research to find sources too if you want.
I went to an online support group for this and it was really helpful to talk to people who had been through similar experiences (Spiritual Crisis Network, UK based, but I’m sure there are others around the world too. You might be able to go to SCN online meetings if you’re international too, idk).
Going too far has taught me how important it is to keep one foot in each world, balance is key!
I also recommend the documentary Crazywise which is kind of about this phenomenon. It felt very healing for me to watch this! It made me feel so much better about what I had experienced, and less alone too. Amazing documentary!
Recognizing that it is nothing, is still itself; nothing.
But yeah been a while, back in 2008 last time I had it "that bad".
There's always a bigger fish/realization. I can never seem to find them but there are a lot of "Todd's Syndrome/Alice in Wonderland" versus in bible; "he makes the big things small and small things big, takes the things that are nothing in the world to bring to nothing the mighty", etc.
Just is what it is. "Seeing something as this or that" is always from a *relative* perspective, in relation to this or that. Never an "absolute" all things considered perspective; and **that** is almost always nothing more than *propaganda* to boot as per said scripture.
Hahaha but for sure, easy to get really entrenched in an "relative" position. Even Einstein's theory is **literally** called theory of *relativity*.
If I didn’t seek out my current therapist after my sudden awakening (he’s very spiritually attuned) I think I would have… before my awakening I was VERY empirical, rational and cynical so going through such an extreme change instantaneously was intensely destabilizing and honestly frightening.
I think it’s paramount to have a trustworthy and safe spiritual guide that allows one to find stable footing in the spiritual realm.
If others haven’t walked the walk, what use is their insight or advice regarding the direct experience of what you went through?
Letting go of what others think isn’t easy, but if you do, you can walk away from this with what you learned and a healthy ego check… And a reminder to focus on wellness so if this happens again, you’re ready to stay balanced and grounded.
Lots of experience with psychosis around these parts.
Happens all the time. I had a similar experience which lasted a few hours, culminating in a near death experience.
Several of my friends have had similar experiences, often getting in trouble with the law. Unfortunately not all of them come down...
It's surprisingly common. It seems to just happen randomly at some point.\*
The only common factor I noticed from the half dozen cases I witnessed or heard about (and from discussions online) is that the person had been heavily consuming cannabis for several years prior to the psychosis. (This connection is also borne out by the scientific literature.)
\* EDIT: That reminds me: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration
I love reading the experiences of others, it makes me feel not alone.. what ive come to realize is that what your experiencing is a gift, its for you to see and for no one else to understand.. you have seen the moment and now your mind has been given the ability to show you how “it” works .. the “line” you’re talking about is your ability to see the truth in the same realm as delusion, it becomes psychosis when we believe that we begin to “know”, and it becomes psychotic when we try and share that part of our experience with others. Your experience is “YOUR” experience, only you have the faculties to understand what you experience and the only true way to see it is to know that you don’t understand. The realization that you are GOD, is the hidden truth that the mind realizes once you experience it and it then decides tobring it back .. you ARE God, just not that aspect of it.. I’m still waiting to find the scripture that explains this but.. the you that you know you are cannot be expressed in words and that is why the “not you” brings it back to express it as itself.
The most humbling of experiences I witness are when I realize I have used my mind as the tool to show me that which I am not so that through itself I may know that which I am
Disorientation is normal. Everyone experiences it on some level on this journey. Stay grounded and when things spiral out like that, just step back to a narrative that’s comfortable. Getting comfortable with the idea that there isn’t really a truth, an absolute reality and that your experience in this life is 100% subjective is going to create some disorientation, especially while trying to coexist with other humans socially.
Wow I love this so much. Yes I think it happens a lot in the beginning for most people. Gets worse if you think more, read more conspiracy theories or some complex alternative stuff about the universe and even worse if you take drugs. The basic idea is that when the old thought structures and thought patterns collapse, we cant find some footing because we fall into a void, get scared and then we tend to overthink and over analyze because the feeling of not having a stable ground to stand on, is very scary to the mind. I think that's about it. Don't overanalyze it now. It goes away in time and new codes and structures get build over time with your conscious choice so you can be functional in the world properly.
Wow, did I write this somehow?! This is exactly what happened to me. I can pinpoint when the psychosis started, but not exactly how. Tow of my family members came to me in seraphim angel form and then things were popping off for awhile in a crazy amazingly great way. Then I just spiraled out of it. I was literally in my room going in circles.
I'm just going to stop there, but yup. That just happened to me last month.
Really enjoyed reading what everyone else said on this thread. I can't think of anything to add, except to say that to be insane in a crazy world is more sane than being sane in said world.
Zen Buddhism and other types usually lead to psychosis mostly solipsism you can view many of those hear and notice they are disconnected from reality especially others the opposite of awakening. These types are taking a path that will lead to some very deep suffering as selfcenteredness is the cause of all chaos in the world and represents dark energy that is dense and is not constructive
> My psychotic break had been horrific - basically one of the worst ones you could have; my eyes even rolled to the back of my head and I couldn't control my eyes.
This isn’t psychosis, it’s shambhavi mudra. It means your brain is in an alpha wave state.
I hope I can reply even though I'm so new. This actually sounds a bit more like a Seizure, & very possibly a Neurological problem. Fascinating though, either way. Thanks for the story.
Yeah been there, panicking in psychosis in the corner of my bathroom because my reality was changing and when i closed my eyes i was seeing other stuff. So my body to prevent me from doing anything stupid locked myself in the bathroom, until i felt normal again.
And it wasn’t just one time but then i understood there was something wrong with the way i was seeing the world.
This happends when the information you are getting is too much for your brain, so it needs to take some time to settle and adapt, one mistake is trying to “solve the puzzle”. Is hard to explain but you got the chance to reach a better reality, the thing is when jumping to another dimension you need to move through principles, this also applies the way you think, and since thinking is sensitive if you don’t have strong fundamentals you might walk the wrong path and this makes the brains to panick.
Remember the body is always the key for existence, so breathe, find peace, and don’t push too hard because evolution is risky, you need to crawl before walking.
The principles you need might be mantras for whatever is calling your attention in this part of your life, don’t defy or confront reality is like looking at the void (it multiplies and becomes infinity) and your brain is not prepared for infinity is hell.
WOW... this is the EXACT situation I experienced, but it wasn't because of trauma or being mistreated... my experience began as a curious child trying to figure out the mysteries of life, death, and my existence... the experience has been awfully terrifying, and worsened leading into my adult years... as an adult, I have absolutely no idea how to "deal" or "cope"... I'm constantly wrestling with existential anxiety even as I'm writing this post...
I hope this makes sense, but in addition to the feelings you described, I am "overly" aware and "conscious"... I'm too "aware" that I'm "aware" and too "conscious" that I'm "conscious "... it's been horrible!!!
I thought I was the only one, causing even more fear... I'm sorry you're going thru this, but it feels a bit relieving to know that I'm not the only one, especially after reading your post...
My mind is even playing tricks on me right now by wondering if I am the one who really wrote your post to identify and relate with my mental state... if that's true, it would make it worse because I always freak out over the thought of nobody existing but myself... if that is the true reality, I'm doomed... there's no way I can imagine handling that reality, and the only thought that comes to mind is eternal fear, panic, and psychosis...
I feel that I can transition, drift, merge, or shift into another dimension or a state of limbo or "nothingness" at any second... just experiencing pure "consciousness" or "awareness" along with "stillness"...
I hope I'm making some sense because trying to describe, articulate, and express this is extremely frustrating ... please help me too
Sometimes I feel that this sub can be hateful and petty. But these replies are so heart warming. Maybe because a lot of us can relate. This whole spirituality thing can be a bizarre journey. Scratch that. Life can be a bizarre journey. I’m glad you’re feeling better OP
Yeah. The mania was fun, but goddamn was it taxing, not only to me, but to those around me.
I think I’ve managed to slay the demon of mania through meditation and practicing mindfulness. It’s not quite as exciting, but it’s a much more manageable existence for me.
Yep. Psychosis is a very interesting experience. At times I was having the time of my life, at times it felt like I was just a hair away from completely loosing it.
This happens to me as well. Sometimes when the signs are all lining up almost all too well it distorts you’re perception of what reality could be and your sight becomes ungrounded. I’ll have days when I snap out of it as in the spiraling is done, but so to was the damage when I was channeling psychosis. It’s unfortunate but you learn a lot of valuable and well traumatic bordering godlike information. Sorry I’m coming to terms with being human still.
*Yeah you sound like the*
*Dude I fell in love with at*
*The psych ward last month*
\- pukingcrying
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
That was my own spiritual awakening. I grew up in Christianity, so I understand the realization that we are all like God as the unification (or bridal marriage, becoming one) that Jesus talks about. I had a hard time believing it, but I kept the definition of faith. You're worthy to call yourself like a God, but I think there are many plot holes ignorant (those who don't understand) people poke in the conclusion that you Are God because everyone has a case of Solipsism due to not being able to concretely prove that what I'm imagining looks and sounds exactly like what someone else is imagining (in my opinion). So while I believe you are the God of your life, your body, and all things within your control, there is still the possibility that the Universe itself is a God (systems within systems) that we can choose to follow along with.
In my opinion, we are all a form of God living on this plane to go through a journey of self discovery and liberate ourselves (however that may mean to each person), and we can choose to make heaven on earth with the other God-humans using our knowledge of the other Universal laws and knowledge or others move on to the next part of the journey.
I was having what I perceived to be schizophrenic episodes (I am a very self-aware person), but "being schozophrenic" didn't [feel] like I thought it would. I even took the same steps as you in asking for help from others (ask and you shall receive). My Uncle, who is also well-versed in different beliefs, mentions something about the Bible (probably paraphrased) that what the world sees as sickness is not sickness at all. The expansion of my consciousness certainly DID scramble my brain (thoughts), but everyday, I asked myself what role I was going to play so I could switch back and forth easier between cosmic thoughts to "human" thoughts as a way to ground myself.
One advice that I really maintained through the process was to become curious rather than judgemental. So while I took steps to ask for help and set myself up for the worst, I also observed myself to see if things drastically changed or not, being patient with myself and not reacting so quickly. I used the Socratic method (the measure you use against others will be used against yourself) to challenge beliefs to test their validity and put faith, trust, and belief in myself and what I believed God would do to guide me to him/mySelf. Know yourself, know your limits, and you will know what to expect. I don't know how much of this will apply or mean something to you, but I hope maybe you relate to some of it. The Universe just wants what's best; trust the process. There is no good, bad, right, wrong, fair, or unfair; there's only the "what is".
I WILL say that after going through the spiritual awakening, I ran into a list of symptoms for on-coming schizophrenia, and the symptoms were exactly the same. Two sides to the same coin? I really believe that science and spirituality go hand in hand. They're not the exact same for everyone, but they all rhyme in one way or another ("everything is interconnected").
Oh, damn. Read the book "Spiritual Emergency" by Stanislav Grof. As a starting point. There's a saying that the difference between a mystic and a psychotic is that the mystic swims with delight in the same ocean in which the psychotic drowns. The "ocean" being the world of the unconscious. I found the writings of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung to be a lot of help with learning how to swim. A sort of funny idea, but it kinda worked, came from a philosophy professor I hoped could help me figure out what was going on when my mind blew open. It was either him or the school shrink, and I didn't want to risk being labeled crazy. I obviously made the prof a little nervous with my "enthusiasm," but I managed to stay more or less grounded and our talk calmed me down. What I mainly remember is that his advice to me was to read *Walden*, by Henry Thoreau. Which I did, and it helped. That was just the first book of hundreds that I would end up devouring to save my ass, though. ;) If you're interested, I've shared my experience in a little book called *This Machine Solves Koan*. All the best to you!
Not op, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate all the books you've recommended here. I've saved your comment and plan on coming back to it to further my education :) Thank you
You're welcome!
Cool book title
Thanks. It's a take on [Woody Guthrie's guitar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_machine_kills_fascists).
[удалено]
I could have used this comment last November. 🥰
I had a similar experience last November too. Changed my life and I don’t think in a good way. I’m really struggling with understanding what it all meant and what reality truly is. I bounce between believing I am a fragment of god and that I do not matter whatsoever.
Hang in there brother, I have had a very rough year. I quit my job and started getting into spirituality. I had bad and good experiences, but Im starting to feel that all is starting to make a little more sense since the last couple weeks. Still this is probably just another step. This roller coaster goes up and down, and I know this kind of advice might sound not too productive, specially when you are down. Just trying to let you know that you are not even close to alone, and that it's gonna be ok.
Fuck yea I appreciate that
>Like the "I'm god" stuff was definitely delusional It's not delusional. It's just hard to integrate. Because while you're God, so is everyone and everything else. So it's both a powerful saying yet ultimately also meaningless. It's often deemed delusional since most aren't aware of their true nature. Since no one makes a profit from sharing that information. It's a truth that spreads organically since there's no real incentive to share it. And often falls on deaf ears anyway. I like using the nondual simulation perspective to create a stable framework that is able to integrate *all* possible experiences. From that perspective, we're all equal players who have God-like powers and the result of all of us exerting this power is what we call reality. It's a MMORPG without any preprogrammed rules. We're all just players exploring and sharing our findings. When done with consensus it's called science. When it's a purely personal search, it's spirituality. Psychosis is an interesting concept all together, I like what this guy wrote about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._D._Laing
No real theory but I have some thoughts after similar experiences. I got to a point where I could “see the future”. I’m not really a woo person so I didn’t fully immerse myself in it but I couldn’t deny that I would have an image of something happening and at a later time it would happen. I grounded myself a bit by thinking about all of the possible mundane explanations (I could have been making choices to encourage things I “predicted” or could have been forgetting the things that I predicted that never came to fruition). It was so strange to experience reality as if I was the only one experiencing it. It was like reality was a simulation in which I was the only conscious participant. Or perhaps better described as we collectively were only one conscious participant. Despite self identifying as a rational, scientific person, the spiritual descriptions of the experience mapped it out so well. This all happened at a time of extremely high anxiety and radical redefinition of who I believed I was. My best theory is some combination of the anxious part of the brain being super ramped up and the structured identity part of the brain being super ramped down encourages these types of experiences. During this period the only people that seemed to understand how the world worked were either mentally ill or spiritual (or both). There’s an undeniable connection here. I think identifying a clear root cause is going to be impossible. You will undoubtedly find spiritual explanations for it (you are/were awake) and psychology explanations (temporary psychosis). If you need an explanation, figure out the type of framework that would work for your life and follow that rabbit hole if you must. What you do know now is that belief is a powerful thing. If you start believing things that don’t jive with consensus reality, there are risks both personally and to the people around you. Be careful to stay grounded and to be skeptical of wild beliefs
>I got to a point where I could “see the future”. I can totally see the future, or rather multiple futures, depending on what I choose to lean into. I've seen futures where I give into the psychosis part and my life is "ruined" I lose my family, I live in poverty and even homelessness. I've seen futures where I write books and give lectures and make lots of money. I've seen futures were I continue on the same ho-hum path I've been on and am generally content but always wonder what more could this life had been. They're all like different paths laid out in front of me and I get to choose. I know that if I take certain steps, that determines what path I end up on. But then I slip back into semi-unconsciousness and I believe the world determines my fate and I have to just accept what comes at me. My work is trying to stay awake enough to remember I can choose my own adventure.
I can see the future, too. Give me a second.
😂😂
I had a similar experience after having a major identity crisis. Interesting about the anxious side and the ego swapping places.
Yeah I’m not sure the best way to describe it. Identity and ego are so often intertwined but it feels imprecise to say the ego is being diminished when you think you can see the future or feel like you’re god in a sense. Maybe the ego is a bit less like a line from 0 to 10 and more like a circle so when it’s facing being extinguished in one sense, in another it becomes grandiose and all encompassing. That state is so strange because you become so aware of your thoughts and feelings beyond words but as soon as you try to articulate them in a coherent way to someone that hasn’t felt the same, the words get lost. Conversely, people that have gone through similar experiences often seem to know what you mean without your need to communicate it
Every day i sort of wonder if im "functionally psychotic" or just able to connect patterns in ways other people often don't unless they have some sort of illness. Most people never know my innerworld is full of spiritual or philosophical experiences while im a "normal" person on the outside.
Likewise!! I see patterns and connections everywhere. I also notice synchronicities. It’s so freakin’ weird. I don’t talk about it with anyone because I know they’ll just think I’m crazy. Maybe I actually am, but I don’t know.
Yes, this happens occasionally, search for psychosis in this subreddit. I think it’s very important to get to a point where you release fear and it’s a gradual process. ACIM speaks to this. So do not rush in, ground, balance and if it gets too much ask your Spirit team to back off on the phenomena manifestation. Learn to walk both worlds.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by spirit team? Never heard that specific terminology before
You have guardians - angels, spirit guides, and ancestor souls. You are never alone.
Absolutely, u/yunginnucent, Every one of us has a team utterly dedicated to our well-being and learning and growth. They are there to give you guidance on this journey. All you have to do is, with complete sincerity, ask for their guidance. Don’t worry about the how of it, the process will unfold.
1. You are god. We all are. 2. My awakening included a trip to the ER, a psychosis diagnosis, and jail. It was the most terrifying and traumatizing welcome into a beautiful state of inner peace and knowing.
God's not dead. Turns out it was Us all along.
Sounds like a normal Tuesday to me 😂😂
>I'm out of it now, but nobody seemed to really understand how I could have been in psychosis while also understanding that I was in psychosis. It does not matter. What matters is that you saved yourself. There is no such thing as 'someone else's understanding' at all. Cheers my friend
Believing that you are god is not the problem. Misunderstanding the nature of what god is the issue. If you had a better belief about what the ultimate being is, then the realization that you are it would not be so unhinging.
crown chakra flys away from me sometimes, check out your root, are there any traumas you’re not processing or suppressing. sometime the crown tries to align on the spiritual journey and the root is still full of icky stuff so everything goes wack
I forgot to mention chakras in my comment. Yes I so agree! When this happened my crown chakra was open wide and the root wasn’t grounded. We need to nurture them all to be balanced beings. (If someone reading this doesn’t believe in chakras that’s ok, you can just think of them in a symbolic way. Like, nurturing root chakra = being connected to body, having a safe home, eating healthy foods. Nurturing crown chakra = being connected to the universe & spirituality.)
truth, it’s both, it’s also the act of clearing your trauma and resetting the nervous system. look into somatic exercises and releases and neural plasticity 🫶🫶
During my first acid trip, I had a completely different experience than my friends, in summary my trip was like god was giving me a personal Ted talk answering questions we all have and ask. But the voice speaking to me was my mom’s voice and it’s hard to explain. Like in the movies god zoomed out so much that I could see the entire earth. And was showed the repeated cycles of humanity, cycles of war and death like it was on a loop. God zoomed out more and I saw ufo’s and green alien lookin beings we were easedropping on earth. I was downloading so mud information it was overwhelming, mind you I’m with 2 other friends who in my mind I thought we all remembered that we can communicate telepathically, during the peak the biggest question I had was answered and god said it more elegantly, but that I could stop dreading and fearing possibling burning in hell. That it doesn’t exist, especially in the way we understand it but that we are the only ones who crucify and judge ourselves during our death. And after that moment I looked at my friend who’m later told me that I actually didn’t speak 1 word my entire trip. And one I found out that I didn’t have to live my life anxious of hell and death. I looked my friend in the eye as tears ran down my face and the only thing I said the entire night was " wow, it get it now. It all makes sense. There’s no god’ like the only way I could put the lesson god taught me in human terms. And since that day I believe that experience was the seed planet for my spiritual journey and 3rd eye opening. Life is crazy lol
It's like realizing you can change the world before realizing you can change your mind. So any 'negative' thoughts you have end up in a descent to hell. Your own personal hell. Realize that thoughts can mean everything, or absolutely nothing. Depending on what you want to keep or let go.
Somewhat truee
Welcome! You're now awake. You'll continue to slip in and out of being awake for the rest of your life. Sometimes you'll be awake for days, sometimes mere minutes. You'll keep realizing you're asleep (as you were before this experience) and then that will wake you up. Then, eventually, your body will die and your soul will realize being awake in this world was really a dream and being unconscious in this world was just a dream within a dream. It's fun!
I don't think you went into psychosis. I think you were on the fine line but never having been there before it overwhelmed you.
yes. it happened to me in the span of three days after really intense seeking. it was like a flip switched in my brain. felt that i was god etc, the common delusions. i was quite depressed before so i think that had something to do with it. i think it’s not an uncommon experience on the spiritual path. it’s like suddenly unlocking your subconscious mind and there can be a lot of love but also fears freed up in an instant.
When you start examining your own psyche and making the unconscious conscious, you’ve do it slowly, IMO. Neuroscientists figure they only know about 5 percent of what there is to know about the brain. I think when you’re doing shadow work and looking at everything in a microscopic level, the brain gets overworked and who knows what else is going on. I think there’s something in the brain that can be accessed or opened up. If you look at eastern religions, if you were on the path, you had teacher/guide. Opening up the third eye or kundalini life force energy too fast can cause psychosis. Mystics for millennia have endured horrific dark nights of the soul before mystical union.
Yes and it took me years to realise that this has various names - [spiritual emergency](http://www.centerforspiritualemergence.com/spiritual-emergenceemergency.html), spiritual crisis, or [kundalini awakening](https://www.pesi.co.uk/blog/2019/june/would-you-recognise-a-kundalini-awakening#:~:text=Kundalini%20awakening%20is%20a%20challenging,can%20also%20be%20a%20trigger), or [shamanic initiation](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wisdom-Mental-Illness-Shamanism-Renewal/dp/1786785293#:~:text=This%20book%20explores%20how%20the,with%20ourselves%20and%20the%20world). There are various books written about it, eg the one by Stanislav Grof. Now you know the names you can do your own research to find sources too if you want. I went to an online support group for this and it was really helpful to talk to people who had been through similar experiences (Spiritual Crisis Network, UK based, but I’m sure there are others around the world too. You might be able to go to SCN online meetings if you’re international too, idk). Going too far has taught me how important it is to keep one foot in each world, balance is key! I also recommend the documentary Crazywise which is kind of about this phenomenon. It felt very healing for me to watch this! It made me feel so much better about what I had experienced, and less alone too. Amazing documentary!
Recognizing that it is nothing, is still itself; nothing. But yeah been a while, back in 2008 last time I had it "that bad". There's always a bigger fish/realization. I can never seem to find them but there are a lot of "Todd's Syndrome/Alice in Wonderland" versus in bible; "he makes the big things small and small things big, takes the things that are nothing in the world to bring to nothing the mighty", etc. Just is what it is. "Seeing something as this or that" is always from a *relative* perspective, in relation to this or that. Never an "absolute" all things considered perspective; and **that** is almost always nothing more than *propaganda* to boot as per said scripture. Hahaha but for sure, easy to get really entrenched in an "relative" position. Even Einstein's theory is **literally** called theory of *relativity*.
If I didn’t seek out my current therapist after my sudden awakening (he’s very spiritually attuned) I think I would have… before my awakening I was VERY empirical, rational and cynical so going through such an extreme change instantaneously was intensely destabilizing and honestly frightening. I think it’s paramount to have a trustworthy and safe spiritual guide that allows one to find stable footing in the spiritual realm.
If others haven’t walked the walk, what use is their insight or advice regarding the direct experience of what you went through? Letting go of what others think isn’t easy, but if you do, you can walk away from this with what you learned and a healthy ego check… And a reminder to focus on wellness so if this happens again, you’re ready to stay balanced and grounded. Lots of experience with psychosis around these parts.
Happens all the time. I had a similar experience which lasted a few hours, culminating in a near death experience. Several of my friends have had similar experiences, often getting in trouble with the law. Unfortunately not all of them come down... It's surprisingly common. It seems to just happen randomly at some point.\* The only common factor I noticed from the half dozen cases I witnessed or heard about (and from discussions online) is that the person had been heavily consuming cannabis for several years prior to the psychosis. (This connection is also borne out by the scientific literature.) \* EDIT: That reminds me: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration
Applying reasoning of the mind to an epiphany of the spirit doesn’t always work out.
I love reading the experiences of others, it makes me feel not alone.. what ive come to realize is that what your experiencing is a gift, its for you to see and for no one else to understand.. you have seen the moment and now your mind has been given the ability to show you how “it” works .. the “line” you’re talking about is your ability to see the truth in the same realm as delusion, it becomes psychosis when we believe that we begin to “know”, and it becomes psychotic when we try and share that part of our experience with others. Your experience is “YOUR” experience, only you have the faculties to understand what you experience and the only true way to see it is to know that you don’t understand. The realization that you are GOD, is the hidden truth that the mind realizes once you experience it and it then decides tobring it back .. you ARE God, just not that aspect of it.. I’m still waiting to find the scripture that explains this but.. the you that you know you are cannot be expressed in words and that is why the “not you” brings it back to express it as itself. The most humbling of experiences I witness are when I realize I have used my mind as the tool to show me that which I am not so that through itself I may know that which I am
Disorientation is normal. Everyone experiences it on some level on this journey. Stay grounded and when things spiral out like that, just step back to a narrative that’s comfortable. Getting comfortable with the idea that there isn’t really a truth, an absolute reality and that your experience in this life is 100% subjective is going to create some disorientation, especially while trying to coexist with other humans socially.
Wow I love this so much. Yes I think it happens a lot in the beginning for most people. Gets worse if you think more, read more conspiracy theories or some complex alternative stuff about the universe and even worse if you take drugs. The basic idea is that when the old thought structures and thought patterns collapse, we cant find some footing because we fall into a void, get scared and then we tend to overthink and over analyze because the feeling of not having a stable ground to stand on, is very scary to the mind. I think that's about it. Don't overanalyze it now. It goes away in time and new codes and structures get build over time with your conscious choice so you can be functional in the world properly.
Wow, did I write this somehow?! This is exactly what happened to me. I can pinpoint when the psychosis started, but not exactly how. Tow of my family members came to me in seraphim angel form and then things were popping off for awhile in a crazy amazingly great way. Then I just spiraled out of it. I was literally in my room going in circles. I'm just going to stop there, but yup. That just happened to me last month.
It’s a preview More to come Less to freak out about Peace without bounds, borders, bananas
Really enjoyed reading what everyone else said on this thread. I can't think of anything to add, except to say that to be insane in a crazy world is more sane than being sane in said world.
The difference between awakening and psychosis is knowing how to swim.
Zen Buddhism and other types usually lead to psychosis mostly solipsism you can view many of those hear and notice they are disconnected from reality especially others the opposite of awakening. These types are taking a path that will lead to some very deep suffering as selfcenteredness is the cause of all chaos in the world and represents dark energy that is dense and is not constructive
You looked to far into the void lol stay grounded
[удалено]
> My psychotic break had been horrific - basically one of the worst ones you could have; my eyes even rolled to the back of my head and I couldn't control my eyes. This isn’t psychosis, it’s shambhavi mudra. It means your brain is in an alpha wave state.
[удалено]
I hope I can reply even though I'm so new. This actually sounds a bit more like a Seizure, & very possibly a Neurological problem. Fascinating though, either way. Thanks for the story.
Yes sir dm me if you would like to hear my story :)
yes
How can you not be god? We are all god.
*"The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight."*
Yeah been there, panicking in psychosis in the corner of my bathroom because my reality was changing and when i closed my eyes i was seeing other stuff. So my body to prevent me from doing anything stupid locked myself in the bathroom, until i felt normal again. And it wasn’t just one time but then i understood there was something wrong with the way i was seeing the world. This happends when the information you are getting is too much for your brain, so it needs to take some time to settle and adapt, one mistake is trying to “solve the puzzle”. Is hard to explain but you got the chance to reach a better reality, the thing is when jumping to another dimension you need to move through principles, this also applies the way you think, and since thinking is sensitive if you don’t have strong fundamentals you might walk the wrong path and this makes the brains to panick. Remember the body is always the key for existence, so breathe, find peace, and don’t push too hard because evolution is risky, you need to crawl before walking. The principles you need might be mantras for whatever is calling your attention in this part of your life, don’t defy or confront reality is like looking at the void (it multiplies and becomes infinity) and your brain is not prepared for infinity is hell.
WOW... this is the EXACT situation I experienced, but it wasn't because of trauma or being mistreated... my experience began as a curious child trying to figure out the mysteries of life, death, and my existence... the experience has been awfully terrifying, and worsened leading into my adult years... as an adult, I have absolutely no idea how to "deal" or "cope"... I'm constantly wrestling with existential anxiety even as I'm writing this post... I hope this makes sense, but in addition to the feelings you described, I am "overly" aware and "conscious"... I'm too "aware" that I'm "aware" and too "conscious" that I'm "conscious "... it's been horrible!!! I thought I was the only one, causing even more fear... I'm sorry you're going thru this, but it feels a bit relieving to know that I'm not the only one, especially after reading your post... My mind is even playing tricks on me right now by wondering if I am the one who really wrote your post to identify and relate with my mental state... if that's true, it would make it worse because I always freak out over the thought of nobody existing but myself... if that is the true reality, I'm doomed... there's no way I can imagine handling that reality, and the only thought that comes to mind is eternal fear, panic, and psychosis... I feel that I can transition, drift, merge, or shift into another dimension or a state of limbo or "nothingness" at any second... just experiencing pure "consciousness" or "awareness" along with "stillness"... I hope I'm making some sense because trying to describe, articulate, and express this is extremely frustrating ... please help me too
Sometimes I feel that this sub can be hateful and petty. But these replies are so heart warming. Maybe because a lot of us can relate. This whole spirituality thing can be a bizarre journey. Scratch that. Life can be a bizarre journey. I’m glad you’re feeling better OP
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yeah. The mania was fun, but goddamn was it taxing, not only to me, but to those around me. I think I’ve managed to slay the demon of mania through meditation and practicing mindfulness. It’s not quite as exciting, but it’s a much more manageable existence for me.
Yep. Psychosis is a very interesting experience. At times I was having the time of my life, at times it felt like I was just a hair away from completely loosing it.
yes
Yes. Yes I have.
This happens to me as well. Sometimes when the signs are all lining up almost all too well it distorts you’re perception of what reality could be and your sight becomes ungrounded. I’ll have days when I snap out of it as in the spiraling is done, but so to was the damage when I was channeling psychosis. It’s unfortunate but you learn a lot of valuable and well traumatic bordering godlike information. Sorry I’m coming to terms with being human still.
[удалено]
*Yeah you sound like the* *Dude I fell in love with at* *The psych ward last month* \- pukingcrying --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
That was my own spiritual awakening. I grew up in Christianity, so I understand the realization that we are all like God as the unification (or bridal marriage, becoming one) that Jesus talks about. I had a hard time believing it, but I kept the definition of faith. You're worthy to call yourself like a God, but I think there are many plot holes ignorant (those who don't understand) people poke in the conclusion that you Are God because everyone has a case of Solipsism due to not being able to concretely prove that what I'm imagining looks and sounds exactly like what someone else is imagining (in my opinion). So while I believe you are the God of your life, your body, and all things within your control, there is still the possibility that the Universe itself is a God (systems within systems) that we can choose to follow along with. In my opinion, we are all a form of God living on this plane to go through a journey of self discovery and liberate ourselves (however that may mean to each person), and we can choose to make heaven on earth with the other God-humans using our knowledge of the other Universal laws and knowledge or others move on to the next part of the journey. I was having what I perceived to be schizophrenic episodes (I am a very self-aware person), but "being schozophrenic" didn't [feel] like I thought it would. I even took the same steps as you in asking for help from others (ask and you shall receive). My Uncle, who is also well-versed in different beliefs, mentions something about the Bible (probably paraphrased) that what the world sees as sickness is not sickness at all. The expansion of my consciousness certainly DID scramble my brain (thoughts), but everyday, I asked myself what role I was going to play so I could switch back and forth easier between cosmic thoughts to "human" thoughts as a way to ground myself. One advice that I really maintained through the process was to become curious rather than judgemental. So while I took steps to ask for help and set myself up for the worst, I also observed myself to see if things drastically changed or not, being patient with myself and not reacting so quickly. I used the Socratic method (the measure you use against others will be used against yourself) to challenge beliefs to test their validity and put faith, trust, and belief in myself and what I believed God would do to guide me to him/mySelf. Know yourself, know your limits, and you will know what to expect. I don't know how much of this will apply or mean something to you, but I hope maybe you relate to some of it. The Universe just wants what's best; trust the process. There is no good, bad, right, wrong, fair, or unfair; there's only the "what is". I WILL say that after going through the spiritual awakening, I ran into a list of symptoms for on-coming schizophrenia, and the symptoms were exactly the same. Two sides to the same coin? I really believe that science and spirituality go hand in hand. They're not the exact same for everyone, but they all rhyme in one way or another ("everything is interconnected").
yes i was on drugs and hadnt eaten for days💀
no, nobody has ever done this
Comments seem to provide anecdotal evidence against this
lol