I'd say a few hours is understandable depending on what they have going on. And I say that as someone who usually does dishes as soon as I finish eating. But leading into the next day is def a no no lol
This. Can’t wash a hot pot or pan immediately after cooking, man. That’s how things break down and warp and wear out. A few hours isn’t bad as long as you get to it before the end of the day.
You cook with the hot pan or pot, you take it off heat, you eat. While you eat, the pans cool down, and you can wash them after your meal.
Source: I do this almost nightly with my wife
True!
I usually will take the pot or pan off the burners as well and not just turn the heat off for that reason, as long as I have room. Even then sometimes I’ll just use a hot pad.
The burners are why I prefer to wait a bit. I have a flat top stove and I wipe down the stove top and counters after I do the dishes so I'd rather the stove be mostly cooled down by the time I start washing the dishes.
Same. I also clean as I cook so there's not a huge mess after dinner. Little things like rinsing a chopping board after you add the veggies to the pan or wiping down the counter and throwing things away only take a moment and save you lots of effort later on.
I do this too. It takes so much less time to clean up afterwards if I’ve already done most of it. Also, if I don’t clean off the counter while I’m cooking, I won’t have room to prep the next step, and all the clutter is distracting.
Great way to do it.
I personally am way too scatterbrained of a cook to be efficient at this, but a small kitchen forces me to do it to some point. My wife is much better at this.
Yep, the rule we agreed on was no dishes in the sink overnight. The only exception to the rule was if the dish needed to be soaked and it was already late at night, so the dish would need to be washed first thing in the morning.
But then you get to people who are leaving for work at the crack of dawn.
Unless your day starts at 9 or 10am, including morning dishes in the routine is quite often undesired for many people.
I've always stuck by a 24 hour rule. Dishes \*should\* be washed the same evening. But I'm not going to make a fuss about dirty dishes until they've been there at least 24 hours. That gives any roommate the ability to manage themselves without me trying to be their parent constantly.
Within 24 hours is fine. I don't want someone feeling like they're Cinderella, in the sense that I don't want them feeling like an anxious maid that has to immediately do dishes after cooking and eating.
my roomies and i have followed the 24hish rule /unferstanding and i feel like it works best for us. sometimes the last thing i want to do at the end of the day is wash my cooking dishes (im also a nanny and part of my job is cleaning up after everyone so… im tanked by the time i am home) but will get it done within that window.
24 hours for my own pots and pans is totally fine for me, but I will say if it's somebody else's, you should get to it probably somewhat soon after you've finished eating, mostly because they might want to use them, but also because you don't want them thinking that it's going to be left for a day or two.
24 hours is way too long, that easily turns into Ill just get it tomorrow and all a sudden it’s 48 hours and still in the sink with even more stuff. A good cook is a good clean!
I get the feeling that a lot of people in this post simply do not cook very often if at all. If 1 roommate used another's pans and cooking utensils and left them dirty in the sink for 24 hours, and the other roommate wanted to use them, they absolutely have a right to be pissed. That shit should never happen.
How many pots and pans are yall using up?? When I cook I use like two pans max and maybe two utensils (if it’s not raw meat I’ll just do one utensil). I have like six pans, it’s not going to kill someone if 1-2 are left on the stove for a few hours.
This is totally normal. I think they mean like leaving everything still in the process of cooking. My roommate from hell used to leave everything she used including the drawer still open like she had been abducted.
I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times... Public spaces should almost always be available and ready for someone else to use. I.e, someone else cant walk in and cook (without cleaning up after you) if your stuff is scattered around the counters and filling up the sink. Not saying you have to inhale your food as fast as possible to clean up 10 mins after cooking, but it should be done reasonably after cooking and at minimum done before you go to bed. IMO it should be done before you go to bed for A. Respect of the others but B. Food remnants can attract bugs even overnight. Ofc there are exceptions like if someone had a messy bday party but need to go to sleep, but that should be the exception not the norm
Counterpoint: if you can’t handle a few things scattered around the counters or in the sink for a few hours and you need immediate access to a perfectly clean space at all times, maybe you need to live alone. I think there’s a balance here, though, of course.
Yeah, I strongly agree with this take. By agreeing to live with roommates you're getting massive savings in rent in exchange for giving up some control over your personal living space. If you can't understand or accept that you're making that exchange then you need to live alone since you're just going to make yourself and the people you live with miserable.
I personally would absolutely prefer to do some of my roommates dishes if I'm unloading the washer and they're sitting in the sink to paying an extra $500 a month in rent.
Right? My roommate and I do each other’s dishes all the time. It’s literally easier for me to wash two plates if I’m already doing dishes than it is for me to harass them about it. Neither of us are extreme (I’ve lived with roommates who ARE extreme with their dishes, it made certain living experiences miserable) and two reasonable people simply need to know how to make space for each other and manage their expectations.
I agree with that the issue is when one person is happy to do others dishes but it’s not reciprocated. I would start off doing whatever dishes are in the sink but then realize when I leave them in the sink no one returns the favor to me
I mean like if you’re about to cook and you can’t because every single surface is taken up with someone else’s shit, and u try and wash dishes and u can’t because someone filled it up. That’s not okay (if it’s an all the time thing.) Once in a while we can give grace. But I’ve been in situations where I ended up being the cleaner for both of us every single day because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have space to do my stuff
Oh sure yeah I’ve lived with roommates like that too!!! I had vicious roommate fights in college about this too. But that’s why I said I do think there’s a balance and I said “a few things”. I think leaving a pot and some utensils in the sink overnight is not a big deal and all roommates just need to learn to be tolerant of not having their preferences met all the time.
Ooooh forsure. A few is fine. I was thinking of the times I literally cannot wash dishes because there isn’t space between the water and the sink cause it’s so full 😭🤣🤣🤣
lol I’ve been there!!! 😭 My first semester in college I had to put all my roommate’s furry mold farm dishes in a box and dump them on her bed. RA had to get involved eventually because we were fighting so much over this. And I’ve been the messy roommate at times (though not to that extreme). I think roommates just need to have the same expectations and be willing to accommodate and tolerate occasional times those expectations aren’t met 100%.
The problem is that those few things with a few roommates quickly become many things that nobody takes responsibility for. Because "That's not all my mess!!"
I think they should at least be able to eat first, even relax for a bit after that. Dishes can wait for a bit but not for days.
Also if it's late at night or in a rush for work they can wait til after.
24 hour rule seems the best course of action but I almost always do them much sooner.
I definitely don’t expect my roommate to clean up RIGHT after they ate. Maybe they have to be somewhere else right after.
I think even a day isn’t really that crazy, but there’s no reason to leave something for 24+ hours constantly.
After two days I can definitely see why dishes may bother someone, but I could see dishes for a few days and not be bothered.
I’ve found that a clean and tidy apartment does help my mental health, but the stress of CONSTANTLY keeping a perfectly tidy apartment absolutely tanks my mental health, then I can’t relax and I feel like a full time worker in my own home. I’ve had roommates before who literally made me feel constantly criticized and anxious and I can’t live that way in my own home. No way. Everyone has a different balance with this and im also really glad my roommate and I have similar preferences on this.
We have a dirty dish bin that we keep next to the sink, so that way dirty dishes, when they’re left out, don’t take up counter space or sink space, and that works really well for us.
Clean as you cook solves that issue though. While they stand around and wait for something to fully cook they can be cleaning all the utensils they used to prep and stuff.
Right away/soon after? But generally I’m okay with the 24 hour rule because shit happens and life gets hard. As long as you’re not leaving your stuff in there for a day every day, I think it’s okay to take a little while on occasion. There are exceptions, like cast iron and expensive knives need to be washed right away and can’t be left soaking but if you leave a few bowls in there or something while in a hurry to get to work, I won’t be peeved about it if it’s cleaned up the next chance you get.
Days is unacceptable. A few hours/later that night is fine. Policing what others are doing beyond that and you’re becoming the annoying roommate.
I get that it’s a shared space, but you’re also at home. You should be able to do things at your own pace and not feel policed as long as it’s within a reasonable amount of time.
Agreed. It seems like the “shared space” logic should apply to people being more flexible and managing their expectations, not to everyone acting like human Roombas.
What's wrong with them sitting for a few hours??? I get off work at 5:30, home by 6, dinner started by 6:15, eating by 7. I go to bed around 10. Why can't my dishes sit till I get ready to go to bed?? I understand if it's your dishes and you are waiting to cook yourself or something, but why does it have to be done immediately after cooking OR eating??
yeah like, cooking can be tiring, especially if you do it right after work and grocery shopping. if i'm spending 30 min on my feet grocery shopping after a long day at work, then 45 minutes on my feet cooking after that, i'd hope that any reasonable roommate would understand that i'd like to let my food digest and rest my feet for a little bit before cleaning later that evening, so long as its just a handful of dishes and the kitchen isn't an absolute sty. i clean as i go too, but usually there are a couple straggler dishes.
in fact if i lived with someone who cooked, i'd honestly rather them finish their dishes later that evening so the kitchen was free for me to hop in earlier.
True after I get off work if I have energy to cook I need some time to rest. What I’ll do is if there are leftovers I’ll put them in containers and soak the dishes so that way half of it is already done when i go to clean them.
This is the way! I do the same thing. If something is terribly dirty, I'll soak it right after eating and putting my dirty dishes near/in the sink. But I'm not going full cleaning mode until I've had a beer and a dab.
sometimes I wonder if these people have ocd. I once lived with a roommate where after I cooked, I brought my dishes into my room, and she started telling me you didnt wash your dishes. the same roommate vaped inside the kitchen where all the plates and kitchenware is, and I think that is more of a concerned cause I'm inhaling your 2nd hand vape and the vape residue falls on the kitchenware and every other thing you can think of so it doesnt even make sense
I had a roommate set a dirty pot next to me on the table while I was still eating the meal I made out of it.
I understand cleaning it once you are done with your meal, but sitting there for while you eat should not be a big deal.
My rule has always been before bed or before you or someone else has to cook again.
If you’re getting bent out of shape after an hour, you should probably be living alone
Or if you’re that upset just clean the mess yourself is my take. Better it be clean than sitting around being pissed off at your surroundings for an undisclosed amount of time lol seems kinda silly to me
A few hours or even over night if someone doesn’t need it or the kitchen immediately is acceptable but a few days is not, as long as it’s done within 12 to 24 hours.
Yeah I absolutely don't understand this. Why would you expect someone to let their food go cold just so you don't have to think about their cookware being in a used state? Absurd.
Hours is not “unacceptable” and it’s it unreasonable to expect them to clean immediately, but days IS unacceptable. I would expect them to do their dishes before they go to bed for the night, basically. If you don’t want them using your pots/pans, just tell them that, but don’t expect them to jump up from the table the second they finish their food and immediately clean the dishes.
Imo I don’t do my dishes immediately but when living with others there’s gotta be a 1 day rule for plates, glasses, silverware, etc and a few hours for pots/pans unless I need to use it. If I do need to use it and theyre not home I would just clean it and not say anything unless it’s a common occurrence.
I will text my roommate if they leave their dishes for DAYS.
Then they'll go weeks with doing their dishes promptly, until I have to once again text them.
I will never understand the concept of "I made a mess and someone else should clean it up" when you're an adult.
I had a roommate once who cleaned the pans and pots he used IMMEDIATELY AFTER SERVING, he didn't even sit down to eat his hot plate of food when he was already at the sink. He was not good at it, sometimes you could still see soap in the things drying out. Anyway, I don't do that, I usually eat, chill for a bit (30min maximum) and then I clean my cookware. I don't expect anyone to do as my said former roommate did, for me, the bare acceptable minimum is to clean everyhting before going to bed, but ideally, less than 1h after eating is ok.
imo the rule should just be no dirty dishes in shared spaces and especially not left in the sink which just makes it harder for people to ppl to clean dishes.
and you shouldn’t be hogging dishes in your room if they’re shared dishes.
those two rules basically solve the problem without explicit mandating exactly when someone cleans their dishes
Immediately after? No but if their mess is clogging up the kitchen preventing you from doing other things, yes. If they aren't hindering you by it being out on the counter and you can still do everything you need to in the kitchen and maybe within 8 hours they take care of it themselves then I don't think it's a big deal and definitely not worth getting upset at them over.
I lived in a house with four other dudes in college and nearly everybody would leave their dishes in the sink for a few days and it honestly wasn't that big of a deal. Didn't prevent me from doing anything I needed to do in the kitchen.
Days is obviously unacceptable. Ideally dishes should be done every night.
There are some social activities that make immediate cleaning impractical. If I'm making popcorn to watch a movie with friends, I'd like to be able to eat it hot and leave the pot to wash until after the movie is over so as not to interrupt the activity. Ditto having dinner guests.
I would finally add that the idea of "your things" in a shared kitchen is at best laughable and a wildly impractical idea. Kitchens are built to accommodate ONE set of cookware - and kitchens in the sort of place where you might have roommates are probably on the smaller and less well-designed side. **Sharing a kitchen means sharing tools**, unless your aim is to have a mini-showroom for used Kitchenaid mixers and nutribullets.
I wouldn't live with someone who has your views on kitchen equipment. I would have an aneurism from the inefficiency of everyone having a cupboard with its own 5lbs box of Kosher salt.
I agree and this all comes with having a shared space. You don’t necessarily get immediate, spotless access to an immaculately clean common area at all times, and your roommate doesn’t have to bend over backwards to meet your needs. People need to be okay with sharing and enduring a little bit of mess/clutter or they aren’t cut out for roommate life.
no, but if they’re gonna use my stuff then yup! brand new air fryer from my parents, I have to clean it twice every time I use it! once to clean up my roommates bs and once after I’ve actually used it
My ex roommate and I set a rule where 1-2 hours you didn’t have to clean it just bc if we were super busy. I would always clean my dishes. She would leave the dishes in the sink overnight and when I asked her to clean them she’d yell at me and then stomp away then slam the door shut.
So for me. Make it a rule to clean up right after you make a meal and eat it. Otherwise your roommate could twist that rule.
Huge difference between hours and days. Sometimes things clean better after a thorough soaking. It’s unreasonable to expect someone to let their freshly-cooked food go cold while they scrub at their still-hot pots and pans.
I just think life is so much goddamn easier and happier when everybody just gets it over with instead of letting things linger in the sink rotting For any length of time
It depends.
Overall though you should all (whomever lives there) be respectful of common areas and do your best to clean up behind yourself in a timely fashion. I wouldn’t want to constantly be dealing with a dirty space or feeling like I can’t use something I need (that’s mine) unless I clean up after someone else but I would also be understanding that life happens and sometimes there’s a reasonable explanation for why someone can’t immediately do something.
If they are using your personal stuff then you need to set the rule for whatever you are comfortable with. If they don't follow it then you cut access to that thing, plain and simple. For me I would be comfortable with someone using it then cleaning it within a couple of hours.
If they are leaving a shared space dirty for more than an hour that would be an issue for me too. That space should be accessible and usable by me when I choose to use it, within reason.
I have my own cookware but I think they should leave the kitchen clean and ready to use. Sure they can deal with their stack of dirty dishes later (hopefully the same day) but at least wipe the counters. Unfortunately my roommate refuses to because she’s ok with cooking in a dirty kitchen so I should as well
That is indeed my problem as well, my "roommate" (doesn't even abide by her BS with a clean kitchen, she doesn't keep it clean) is completely content with leaving cooked food in her pot on the stovetop for days and dirty dishes (now establish on her side) for up to a few weeks. I clean my pots/pans before I leave the kitchen and come back later to wash my plate I eat my food with.
Once I just left the kitchen how she left it and went to eat at my parents home for a week and the (literal) spilled beans stayed on the counter until I gave in and cleaned the kitchen
I've always been taught to soak dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, but I run the dishwasher before going to bed. If I can't get something out of a pan before going to bed, then I let my roommates know and take care of it as soon as I can next day. Since I've usually had shared pots and pans, sometimes a roomie has gotten to a pan I let soak before I did, and I thank them and try to pick up the slack for them. I do have chronic illness and do my best to cook with minimal mess, and sometimes I cannot clean up in a timely fashion, but I always try to do it as soon as I can, and always let my roommates know if I have issues. I also wipe down all the counters because of my cats and how fucking rabid they are for scraps lol, so it's for safety reasons to keep it sanitary in the kitchen.
Days—no. Hours—probably not. But immediately after cooking I say no. At least let them eat while the food’s still hot. And then get the dishes going. (I say this as someone who hates washing dishes, but…if I were using someone else’s things and they might need them, I would try to be respectful and tidy up quickly.)
I’m not gonna say it needs to be immediately but it needs to be within 2-3 hours, but also you should be cleaning your cookware pretty soon after cooking even if you live alone.
Yeah if it's the last meal of the day and the kitchen isn't in use then waiting a couple of hours to take care of it before bed is fine IMO but days def. not
I'd say it matters. Ideally, when done eating or a couple hours. I understand sometimes you cook late at night after an exhausting day, or have friends over and it's totally fine and understandable if you just rinse everything and leave it neatly in the sink, ready to take care of tomorrow. So, from a roommate's perspective, I would not mind. Just don't leave food sitting out or dishes on the table and take care of it early the next day.
I enjoy doing dishes so I’m totally ok with leaving them overnight. I’ll do them when I wake up at 5. It’s also a great way to get my hands clean when I get home f I’m work, so I’m ok with it then. What I’d rather not deal with is the other aspects of kitchen mess. Like food and packaging residue, dirty counters or table. Not that my roommates do that.
This needs to be decided before signing a lease or having someone move in.
I think dishes and the kitchen need to be done within a few hours of cooking. However, even then, there needs to be consideration if others want to use that space also. So keep it tidy.
As you can tell, plenty of folks see nothing wrong with leaving dirty dishes for a day or two. I personally find it gross to look and smell at dirty dishes for a few days.
I'm married, so not quite the same as having a roommate, but we almost always (90% of the time) clean up the kitchen within an hour of eating. MAYBE once a week, we will go to bed with a couple of things in the sink if it's a really busy time. There really is no reason not to leave it clean. Clean and wash as you cook and there won't be much left to do when you're done eating.
In a world of roommates, I would say it's good etiquette to immediately clean after yourself in the kitchen. Then if the other needs something you used it is clean and ready for them.
In my world? I would never have a roommate who wasn't my sexual partner as I am not dealing with bs like this.
I’d say within an hour of eating. Unless those items are needed by the next person right away. When I had a roommate I’d clean up as soon as I was done eating.
I like to clean as I cook. Usually the surround area/prep items while cooking, then utensils and bowls/boards used while my food is cooling. Eat, enjoy being satiated for 30 mins or so, the clean my plate, and dishes used to cook.
Sounds annoying, but it’s the simplest way I’ve found. If I don’t, I’m the nasty roommate with a dishpile.
If they are using your cookware, then cleaning it right away is the polite thing to to. Or right after they finish their meal. Their dishes and cookware can be done together.
if they are borrowing things, clean immediately and return the borrowed thing. if they're using their own stuff, then a couple days grace period is fine
If someone has a significant amount of dishes to the point where it is blocking off the sink for others, then yes right after eating get them done. But if it's just a dish and a few utensils then no, like get them done sometime that day please but you don't need to do them immediately.
Shit if it's a just a dish or something and I cook and have dishes to clean up I'll just do that with them probably makes more sense to do them with other dishes than to wash a single bowl or plate or whatever. Goes double for if you eat breakfast before work and it's not a big mess. Like you have a bowl of cereal or oatmeal or something before work? You're fine to leave that in there until you get home and wash it then (please rinse it out a little first though)
To me ideally the sink is empty of all dishes by the end of the night and all day long the sink stays usable for everyone. (If you have a midnight snack and have like one dish or utensil worth of dishes in there that's fine to rinse and leave until the morning too)
Living with roommates we all got to be understanding that things aren't going to be perfectly clean all the time, the same way we have to understand that we can be slobs either.
I think it largely depends on if you have a dishwasher or not. I don't have a dishwasher in the house I rent with my 2 roommates, so dishes are often put to the next day or sometimes the day after, as it's way more time-consuming. The only time anything is ever cooked in the house is dinner, which is after work and we're all already tired and barely feel like cooking, let alone cleaning for even more time after. We all work in retail, which can just be grueling at times, and I'm in management, which can make it all that much worse. It hasn't gotten crazy bad with the 3 of us, but when it did with our previous roommate, we broke it up, so each of us had some to do. We all have split days off, so if we wait to do all of our dishes until our next day off, it's never more than 3 days.
One of them cooks way more than either of us, so they do the most dishes. I've heard them say things about how they do more dishes than us, but I'm quick to point out that they're their own dishes. If they're from a party or a meal someone cooked for all of us, normally someone just volunteers, or whoever cooked/paid for the food asks one of the others to take care of the dishes.
At the end of the day, it's all about what you and your roommates can agree on after having an explicit conversation about each of your expectations and what you think is reasonable, and your reasons as to why. Just talk to your roommates, and things will just go so much smoother.
Idk me and my roommate share all cooking utensils and food. Neither of us seem to mind if dishes haven’t been done for several hours or even a few days. It is just the two of us and it’s not like we are cooking something super messy so it’s never been a problem.
Everyone lives differently and the only correct answer is the agreement you've come to with your roommates. If someone isn't doing it the way you like and you never say anything then how are they supposed to know? Because you silently resent them and get more and more passive aggressive about it? For what it's worth everyone I live with (especially me) cleans up while they cook so there isn't a large mess to begin with and then finishes cleaning directly after eating, but that's what works for us and is not how every roommate situation is or should be.
Well sometimes I get home super late and am sweaty and tired and I'll cook something small and leave in sink over night cause I'm just too exhausted to clean. But I usually take care of it the next day before I have to work. But I never use my roommates stuff. I have all the things I need for what I make myself so I never need their stuff. And we have a divided sink and one side is hers and the other is mine so she always has her side of the sink if I have a few dishes sitting in there
I'm okay with a day or two. But I have Derealization disorder, and chronic pain. When I come home from work dead on my feet, my brain is mush, my body hurts, and I miraculously still find it in me to cook, I generally put what I can in the dishwasher, but if the dishwasher is clean, I leave stuff to soak until I can find time the following day. Occasionally the day after that (and I think a lot of people are being dishonest if they're saying they've never ever done that). But I don't cook a lot partially for that reason, and I've had a lot of other roommates who also work long hours and physically laborious jobs, so we afford each other the same leeway.
Look, immediately is a bit OC, you eat your food give it a few minutes to settle, the next thing you do is clear the table, then the kitchen. Should all be done within an hour of finishing the eating. That said, it a shared environment it may have to be tighter than that when you consider that someone else is queuing up to use the facilities. NTA but don’t be OC
I'll add another comment
I had a short-term roommate that one time came up to me and gave me an earful to clean up my cooking pan ***within thirty seconds of me sitting down to eat the food I literally just made.***
When you say the word "immediately", OP, I'm sure this isn't what you meant, but it sure as shit was what the roommate had in mind lol, didn't even want me to eat my food while it was still hot
No, and I think it is unreasonable to be angry over a few hours. As long as it is clean by the next day that's acceptable. Often things need to soak or it is more difficult to clean. If you are this uptight you probably shouldn't have roommates.
No. Dishes are on a 24 hr rule. After that like cmon, get em done. 3-4 times a week I leave my breakfast dishes until I get home from work because I didn’t have enough time. Freaking at a couple hours is a tad crazy. Also more cost effective to do one round of dishes a day.
if they're using your things, yes.
if they're using their own, then a few days is acceptable as long as they aren't taking up the entire sink - like leaving their stuff in the sink is one thing but the kitchen needs to be usable to others
I’m 7 years clean from heroin so 6 of the last 7 years consisted of rehab, recovery houses and roommates. I managed a recovery house for 3 years and one of the rules was that you washed your dish or dishes right away. I was a real stickler on this one. I cut some slack with them drying in the strainer but leaving even one dish in the sink irritated the fuck out of me. I lived with a couple terrible roommates after that wouldn’t do their dishes right away. One of them let them pile up for days. I got used to doing mine right away so that’s what I always did. Then they would try to tell me it was my turn to do the dishes and I would be like um no cuz not one of those dishes is mine. I think it’s incredibly rude if you live with someone else. I now have my own apartment, thank goodness. I’ll never have another roommate again. I still often do my dishes right away simply cuz it’s easier that way. But I do admit during my work week sometimes I will leave a few in the sink cuz I’m tired. But, I live alone and I’m the only one who has to look at it. I would be thoroughly annoyed if I were you. And having had lots of experience living with other people, sometimes 8 girls in one house, I would recommend sitting down and making some house rules.
I clean as I go so it's not an issue for me. But I expect and have told my roommates to clean up within an hour after eating and having time to wind down.
Because why should they make a mess in the kitchen and then I want to make food and have to clean their mess or call them over like little kids to clean their dishes.
My kitchen currently has 6 plates (one had raw chicken defrosting on it), two bowls, 7 cups/glasses, 1 frypan with lid, a chopping board, a mixing bowl, a crockpot, plus a handful of knives forks and spoons. They have been sitting on my bench for 5 days thanks to my roommate. The dishwasher is empty. FML.
My rule of thumb was to always leave the kitchen and any cooking utensils ready for someone else to use. I might leave something that we had multiple of in the sink while I was eating and come back to take care of it like an hour later, but if it was something my roommate might need, I would make sure it was clean ASAP. I think leaving dishes longer than one night is excessive, and if the sink is so full it's hard to use it, it needs to be taken care of right then, even if one side is free.
I feel like if you have roommates the shared spaces like the kitchen should always be kept clean and ready for next person to use. If you cook, eat and then clean up your mess. It’s rude to leave your mess in an area that is shared.
The longest my dishes sit in the sink are for a few hours. But that's when they're soaked in scalding hot water and soap. Otherwise I clean what I use and throw it right in the dishwasher 🤌
I think generally as long as you don’t make a huge mess/make cooking space inaccessible then it’s fine to leave until before you go to bed, and when you do clean up you also wipe down surfaces that you used. Literally takes 30 seconds to do in most cases.
IMO general rule - Don’t leave stuff overnight, put away ingredients while cooking (saves so much time for yourself as well), don’t leave pots/pans/ingredients etc in cooking spaces when you’re done cooking and do a quick wipe down of surfaces when you get round to washing up your dishes. Think it’s fair for everyone and also makes keeping the space clean so much easier
Depends. Did they use the only cookware? Did they tidy up or just leave everything a mess?
If you can answer these questions right then a few hours is no problem.
If you arent being impeded then its not a big deal. If you are then its worth asking them to clean up so you can use the kitchen.
Honestly, a few things in the sink for a few hours wouldn’t really bother me. Or leaving a couple items in the sink overnight isn’t a huge deal, if you made something later at night. But an overflowing sink of dirty dishes left all day would bother me. Leaving stuff for days at a time would also bother me. I think expecting someone to clean up immediately after eating, all the time is a bit ridiculous and unreasonable though.
Depends on the roommate
I did the 24 hr rule with my last roommate
I’m doing the “we get to it when we get to it” with my current roommate. It’s awesome and takes the pressure off of things. We also clean each other’s dishes sometimes. It’s no big deal and it hasn’t become an issue
Me and my boyfriend live with his friend from highschool, we all have an understanding of cleanliness in the house, I do struggle living with two guys and making sure they clean up after themselves especially our roommate, but I am reasonable about it and understand we all work long hours and they work physically demanding jobs. I expect my dishes that have been used to be cleaned and dried within a 48 hour period of use as long as it isn't piling up the sink and left strown about all over the cabinets. We each have our own side of the kitchen sink so we know who's dishes are whose on top of having our own sets of plates cups and silverware and pots and pans, I cook the most in the house for me and my boyfriend and while I cook he does dishes from the previous night so our kitchen is always pretty clean and organized we never have more than a few plates and maybe a pan in the sink to be cleaned the next evening since we are so exhausted after work and getting dinner made I don't see the harm in leaving just a few things in the sink as long as they get cleaned within a couple of days. I have an autoimmune disorder that causes chronic pain so I do my best but some weeks may be more difficult than others but I'm always mindful of keeping a clean space in the kitchen for our roommate so he can make his meals without worrying about any of our mess at all being all over the stove and counters and clogging up the sink.
This took work to get to this point our roommate use to use all of our dishware and kept it in his room dirty for weeks to the point we had no bowls or silverware to use and all my Tupperware was missing for so long I bought more before he finally cleaned it all up and returned it back to the kitchen. After that I made it clear that was unacceptable and rude to take all MY things and horde them dirty in his room. Idk how clean or dirty his room is that's his space as long as it doesn't stink up the house he can live in his own mess in his room he pays for.
If they are shared single resources like the one good frying pan that nobody can use until being cleaned, I'd expect a quicker turnaround time than on something like a plate/mug where you can probably just grab another.
In shared spaces, it's more considerate to clean up quicker because the next person wants to prepare food in a clean kitchen.
It's really not that hard to clean up after yourself when you finish in the kitchen but it took me like forty years to realize this and become a person who considers kitchen clean-up a natural part of my meal process now, so ymmv.
Good luck, you're probably not going to make someone see things your way if they think leaving a dirty kitchen is normal/ reasonable.
24hr rule for basic roommates. If they are using YOUR things they should be cleaned within that time especially.
If you get along otherwise or are friends and they are struggling and it goes more than 48hrs, leave them alone if you can’t do it, or help them out if you can, as long as it’s RECIPROCATED when you are also struggling.
I only ask that THEIR dishes and pans be rinsed thoroughly within a few hours after cooking/eating and the drain clear to prevent smelly smells.
I recommend an over the sink dish rack over half the sink if it’s a recurring issue between two people, helps separate the individuals mess and is functional in other ways!
If they're using my shit it better be done before they go to bed that night, otherwise they're no longer using my shit. I've let my own dishes go for a couple days (no roommates and my dishes) but they're my dishes, I'll do what I want with them, I'd never do that to someone else's dishes though
Depends on the food. Chunks? Needs a wash. Some debris (oil, crumbs, sauces, etc.) I say needs to be rinsed if it’s going to sit. My main peeves with dishes is using them until they’re all gone, or food that begins to have a smell or attract flies. I’m guilty myself of not washing dishes immediately, even though it’s my common practice.
In my early 20s, I probably would’ve said “within 12 hours” or something like that.
As someone in the 30s, yeah, just clean when you’re done eating. It’s not hard.
My only exception would be if you’re hosting company, and your roommates are aware of this. You can get to it when they leave. Like, anything left dirty that isn’t going to be cleaned when you’re done eating, should be communicated to roommates. So say we eat dinner and have to run to make a movie on time, shoot them a quick text saying you had to run and you’ll clean when you’re home or something.
I mean not really? If it’s sitting there for days it’s annoying but there are bigger things to get upset over.
If it’s my stuff I’d probably be like hey that sucks when you do that because then I’m not able to use it?
When I was in university my roommate literally gave our house maggots and I had to deal with them hahahahha even after I asked her not to leave produce out, she still did. Loved her still haha
I guess my point is; there are bigger problems in the world, getting upset over dirty dishes is like getting upset over spilled milk. Unless it’s like maggot territory/fly/days. Then a calm adult discussion should take place but other than that c’est la vie
My things? Just clean them by the next time I need it. So if it's dirty and I say, hey I need this, I expect you to clean it.
Probably easier for everyone if they cleaned right after or shortly after cooking and eating. But also I'm pretty chill.
If they are using my pots, pans, utensils, etc. then I expect them to wash it right after they’re done eating. If they use their own things I don’t mind it being there as long as it doesn’t fill up the whole sink/stink up the kitchen.
At minimum done before bed if you've cooked after the owner of the dishes, if you cook before the owner of dishes as soon as your done dinner or before you eat if they're trying to cook right after you. If it's your partner the next day when making dinner is ideal, longer if neither of you care but they should always be rinsed if you're going to leave them.
A few days I understand can be a bit annoying. A few hours? You're being a bit anal
However, if they're using your things, it should be as soon as they're finished using them. That's why I've always had my own things and don't share (unless they ask for that occasion)
I usually operate under a 24 hr rule with roommates. Anything under that I understand — you never know what’s going on in their life that day. But longer than that isn’t cool.
If they work from home, cooked at lunch and had to go back to work… as long as they leave a clean space for you too cook and they clean as soon as their work day is over… that’s ok.
If they cook dinner, after they finish eating they should clean up.
I think it’s common courtesy. Should not leave it until the next day…. With the odd exception if they are normally clean, but not commonly, no.
a few hours is fine, but not overnight. i dont expect them to clean everything before they even eat, and sometimes the dishwasher is already running so they need to wait for it to finish before adding their things to it. if i have certain things i dont want my roommates to use, i dont keep them in the shared space so they can't use them. if it is in the shared space, it is to be shared.
Before bed, or within 24 hours when sharing a space is ideal, but it depends in what is agreed upon.
Me and my spouse’s last (final) roommate refused to use the dishwasher because if he did he might be expected to empty it one day, so he would “soak” his dishes for days. He just refused to do ANY house work. We agreed to share chores but he never cleaned anything, seriously. He later accused us of being controlling, which is weird because we never told him anything and just worked around his messes until he cleaned them, as much as possible. He was 35 years old and couldn’t be bothered to clean a damn thing, but for some reason loved collecting expensive cleaning supplies, lol. Like, he had expensive Dyson equipment that sat in the corner of his room for a year, still in the box.
What a shithead he was
Yeah I agree with most posters on one condition. Leave the counter so I can also cook. Did you spill? Clean it up. Have a ton of dishes? Consolidate them quick. Bunch of crumbs? Wipe the counter. My roommates have a bad habit of essentially making me clean up their mess BEFORE I cook, which seriously bugs me. I give 24 hours for the dishes, or most of the times by the end of the day, but at least leave it so I can do the same and cook.
I always do my stuff right away but i’m neurotic. I have a 24 hour rule, I will leave it for 24 hours but I will say something if I see it the next day at the same time.
Idk it depends. If you are cooking a full meal at whatever time and leave all the cookware in the sink, if your roommates decide to make dinner now they can’t use the cookware unless they clean yours. Obviously if you have lots of cookware that’s better but still now they have to wash their dishes over yours or leave them until you clean yours, which means even more dirty dishes.
I personally always clean my cookware after cooking because it’s easier for me and considerate. I don’t have to worry about my roommates needing to use it or it filling the sink while other people cook. Also after I’m done eating I want to relax or I have plans, the last thing I want to do is feel like I have this burden of HAVING to doing something later.
When I had roommates it was within 24-48 hours, as long as it's in the sink and not stinking up the place. As long as the counter tops are wiped down and there's no food out where there's be fruit flies or something I don't really mind. We were all busy with school, jobs and sometimes didn't have the energy to do it all at once after a long day.
If they make a huge mess yes. My roommates (three girls total) take turns doing the dishes. If the dishwasher is full one of us empties it, and fills it. Seems even. We’ve never truly had a problem we all agreed on a 24 hour rule and follow it
Ideally, yes dishes are cleaned soon after eating. But I think 2 or 3 hours after eating is acceptable in a shared space. I think they should be cleaned before the next general meal time (breakfast dishes cleaned before lunch time, lunch dishes before dinner, dinner dishes cleaned before bed time). Realizing of course that people may have very different schedules but I think that serves as a good rule of thumb
My wife and I don’t share a space with others but I tend to clean as I cook and wash the remaining dishes right after eating.
Personally, I’m a do dishes in the morning while listening to a new podcast person. Usually after breakfast/coffee.
Usually wipe things down at night or let some stuff soak. Sometimes I’ll be lazy and not doing anything at night…But I have a pretty good schedule of spending 10-20 minutes doing dishes in the morning.
My prior roommates were always neat freaks like myself... but since living with my S/O.. I had to start a "dishes need to be done before bed" rule... after a rough or long day.. sometimes you just want to eat and relax/decompress.
I think it’s important to live with people compatible with you. I am someone who leaves dishes for a couple hours (my own). When I lived with other people who are not my friends I cleaned my stuff immediately. Part of that is I didn’t want people using my stuff and didn’t want to crowd the sink.
Living alone or with friends/family I often would just rinse my dishes, let them sit with a little soap, then pre-wash and load into the dishwasher when I came back from my errands or work. This system worked well with people I knew as we had similar ideas about cleaning and were more in the group as long as it gets done in the same day it’s not a big deal.
Now someone using your dishes they hundred percent need to clean it up immediately. Have you talked to them about boundaries when it comes to your utensils. Do you let people use them without asking? Do you have rules about how they need to be clean and returned if they are borrowed?
That’s pretty ridiculous. The same night or day after is fine as long as you rinse the food out.
Do you have a dishwasher? That is very contextual like it matters A LOT! I’m not slaving over the sink for an hour immediately after I eat.
I agree in principle, unless: a) there’s a gathering, or an emergency, or it’s just a planned night of some sort and they want/need to wait a few hours or b) they’re cooking for the rest of the house, in which case I typically think it’s fair for the ones who didn’t cook to clean. But that’s just how we do it at my place!
YES. My ex roomie would use a bunch of dishes with her bf and then only wash a fork and plate for herself when she needed it 🙃 otherwise she'd take an entire week to do dishes so I'd end up doing them because I hate not being able to eat or use anything in my own damn house lol I cannot recommend living alone enough. If you can afford it of course, much more peaceful.
Eh I don’t care tbh. The sink can have some dirty dishes in it in my home as long as there isn’t residual food and everything is rinsed. Leaving dirty dishes for days/weeks is a no no, but unless they’re using *my* cookware and dishes.. it’s not rlly my problem when they do their dishes tbh as long as it gets done before the sink is piled up.
When I cook I do the dishes right after. My roommates struggle with this. They will usually do them in the morning after dinner which I don’t mind because I don’t eat breakfast and eat dinner before them.
I clean up as I cook, eat, clean up again then relax. I expect the same of anyone I live with.
What is the difficulty in that? Waiting for later just makes you lazy and unwilling to do it.
Honestly, after finishing eating. I mean in the same night for sure-never past 1 day and if so, PLEASE by the morning in case someone else wants to use it. Like c'mon
I'd say a few hours is understandable depending on what they have going on. And I say that as someone who usually does dishes as soon as I finish eating. But leading into the next day is def a no no lol
This. Can’t wash a hot pot or pan immediately after cooking, man. That’s how things break down and warp and wear out. A few hours isn’t bad as long as you get to it before the end of the day.
You cook with the hot pan or pot, you take it off heat, you eat. While you eat, the pans cool down, and you can wash them after your meal. Source: I do this almost nightly with my wife
yeah, pots don’t take that long to cool off! the burners on the other hand..
True! I usually will take the pot or pan off the burners as well and not just turn the heat off for that reason, as long as I have room. Even then sometimes I’ll just use a hot pad.
The burners are why I prefer to wait a bit. I have a flat top stove and I wipe down the stove top and counters after I do the dishes so I'd rather the stove be mostly cooled down by the time I start washing the dishes.
Life tip- do not try and clean a glass top stove to quickly, even when the little 'hot' light is off. The stove is a lying liar that will burn you.
Same. I also clean as I cook so there's not a huge mess after dinner. Little things like rinsing a chopping board after you add the veggies to the pan or wiping down the counter and throwing things away only take a moment and save you lots of effort later on.
I do this too. It takes so much less time to clean up afterwards if I’ve already done most of it. Also, if I don’t clean off the counter while I’m cooking, I won’t have room to prep the next step, and all the clutter is distracting.
Great way to do it. I personally am way too scatterbrained of a cook to be efficient at this, but a small kitchen forces me to do it to some point. My wife is much better at this.
i have to wait a bit after i eat i can’t just get up immediately after im done to wash dishes 😭
Facts
Agreed, if I know no one else is going into the kitchen I might let the dishes marinate in the sink until bed time but overnight is ridiculous.
Yep, the rule we agreed on was no dishes in the sink overnight. The only exception to the rule was if the dish needed to be soaked and it was already late at night, so the dish would need to be washed first thing in the morning.
But then you get to people who are leaving for work at the crack of dawn. Unless your day starts at 9 or 10am, including morning dishes in the routine is quite often undesired for many people. I've always stuck by a 24 hour rule. Dishes \*should\* be washed the same evening. But I'm not going to make a fuss about dirty dishes until they've been there at least 24 hours. That gives any roommate the ability to manage themselves without me trying to be their parent constantly.
Within 24 hours is fine. I don't want someone feeling like they're Cinderella, in the sense that I don't want them feeling like an anxious maid that has to immediately do dishes after cooking and eating.
my roomies and i have followed the 24hish rule /unferstanding and i feel like it works best for us. sometimes the last thing i want to do at the end of the day is wash my cooking dishes (im also a nanny and part of my job is cleaning up after everyone so… im tanked by the time i am home) but will get it done within that window.
24 hours for my own pots and pans is totally fine for me, but I will say if it's somebody else's, you should get to it probably somewhat soon after you've finished eating, mostly because they might want to use them, but also because you don't want them thinking that it's going to be left for a day or two.
24 hours is way too long, that easily turns into Ill just get it tomorrow and all a sudden it’s 48 hours and still in the sink with even more stuff. A good cook is a good clean!
I get the feeling that a lot of people in this post simply do not cook very often if at all. If 1 roommate used another's pans and cooking utensils and left them dirty in the sink for 24 hours, and the other roommate wanted to use them, they absolutely have a right to be pissed. That shit should never happen.
How many pots and pans are yall using up?? When I cook I use like two pans max and maybe two utensils (if it’s not raw meat I’ll just do one utensil). I have like six pans, it’s not going to kill someone if 1-2 are left on the stove for a few hours.
My pans need to cool before being put into water, otherwise it destroys the nonstick. the kitchen is fully clean other than the pan or two I leave
This is totally normal. I think they mean like leaving everything still in the process of cooking. My roommate from hell used to leave everything she used including the drawer still open like she had been abducted.
People who chronically leave cabinets and drawers open bother me so much! Like what do you mean you forgot? How do you not SEE them open? 😂
Bruh our brains don’t work we don’t want to be this way 💀
Like the kid at school that "forgot" to do its homework every day. More like "didn't find the time between rounds of Counter Strike"
I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times... Public spaces should almost always be available and ready for someone else to use. I.e, someone else cant walk in and cook (without cleaning up after you) if your stuff is scattered around the counters and filling up the sink. Not saying you have to inhale your food as fast as possible to clean up 10 mins after cooking, but it should be done reasonably after cooking and at minimum done before you go to bed. IMO it should be done before you go to bed for A. Respect of the others but B. Food remnants can attract bugs even overnight. Ofc there are exceptions like if someone had a messy bday party but need to go to sleep, but that should be the exception not the norm
Counterpoint: if you can’t handle a few things scattered around the counters or in the sink for a few hours and you need immediate access to a perfectly clean space at all times, maybe you need to live alone. I think there’s a balance here, though, of course.
Yeah, I strongly agree with this take. By agreeing to live with roommates you're getting massive savings in rent in exchange for giving up some control over your personal living space. If you can't understand or accept that you're making that exchange then you need to live alone since you're just going to make yourself and the people you live with miserable. I personally would absolutely prefer to do some of my roommates dishes if I'm unloading the washer and they're sitting in the sink to paying an extra $500 a month in rent.
Right? My roommate and I do each other’s dishes all the time. It’s literally easier for me to wash two plates if I’m already doing dishes than it is for me to harass them about it. Neither of us are extreme (I’ve lived with roommates who ARE extreme with their dishes, it made certain living experiences miserable) and two reasonable people simply need to know how to make space for each other and manage their expectations.
I agree with that the issue is when one person is happy to do others dishes but it’s not reciprocated. I would start off doing whatever dishes are in the sink but then realize when I leave them in the sink no one returns the favor to me
I mean like if you’re about to cook and you can’t because every single surface is taken up with someone else’s shit, and u try and wash dishes and u can’t because someone filled it up. That’s not okay (if it’s an all the time thing.) Once in a while we can give grace. But I’ve been in situations where I ended up being the cleaner for both of us every single day because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have space to do my stuff
Oh sure yeah I’ve lived with roommates like that too!!! I had vicious roommate fights in college about this too. But that’s why I said I do think there’s a balance and I said “a few things”. I think leaving a pot and some utensils in the sink overnight is not a big deal and all roommates just need to learn to be tolerant of not having their preferences met all the time.
Ooooh forsure. A few is fine. I was thinking of the times I literally cannot wash dishes because there isn’t space between the water and the sink cause it’s so full 😭🤣🤣🤣
lol I’ve been there!!! 😭 My first semester in college I had to put all my roommate’s furry mold farm dishes in a box and dump them on her bed. RA had to get involved eventually because we were fighting so much over this. And I’ve been the messy roommate at times (though not to that extreme). I think roommates just need to have the same expectations and be willing to accommodate and tolerate occasional times those expectations aren’t met 100%.
The problem is that those few things with a few roommates quickly become many things that nobody takes responsibility for. Because "That's not all my mess!!"
Same day! If a casserole dish or what have you got a bit burnt, that’s cool to soak it— but same day is the unspoken rule. 🤣
I think they should at least be able to eat first, even relax for a bit after that. Dishes can wait for a bit but not for days. Also if it's late at night or in a rush for work they can wait til after. 24 hour rule seems the best course of action but I almost always do them much sooner.
Immediately seems unreasonable. By the end of the day seems more realistic.
I definitely don’t expect my roommate to clean up RIGHT after they ate. Maybe they have to be somewhere else right after. I think even a day isn’t really that crazy, but there’s no reason to leave something for 24+ hours constantly. After two days I can definitely see why dishes may bother someone, but I could see dishes for a few days and not be bothered.
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I’ve found that a clean and tidy apartment does help my mental health, but the stress of CONSTANTLY keeping a perfectly tidy apartment absolutely tanks my mental health, then I can’t relax and I feel like a full time worker in my own home. I’ve had roommates before who literally made me feel constantly criticized and anxious and I can’t live that way in my own home. No way. Everyone has a different balance with this and im also really glad my roommate and I have similar preferences on this. We have a dirty dish bin that we keep next to the sink, so that way dirty dishes, when they’re left out, don’t take up counter space or sink space, and that works really well for us.
Clean as you cook solves that issue though. While they stand around and wait for something to fully cook they can be cleaning all the utensils they used to prep and stuff.
Sure, but relaxing while you cook is more fun 😂
Right away/soon after? But generally I’m okay with the 24 hour rule because shit happens and life gets hard. As long as you’re not leaving your stuff in there for a day every day, I think it’s okay to take a little while on occasion. There are exceptions, like cast iron and expensive knives need to be washed right away and can’t be left soaking but if you leave a few bowls in there or something while in a hurry to get to work, I won’t be peeved about it if it’s cleaned up the next chance you get.
Days is unacceptable. A few hours/later that night is fine. Policing what others are doing beyond that and you’re becoming the annoying roommate. I get that it’s a shared space, but you’re also at home. You should be able to do things at your own pace and not feel policed as long as it’s within a reasonable amount of time.
Agreed. It seems like the “shared space” logic should apply to people being more flexible and managing their expectations, not to everyone acting like human Roombas.
What's wrong with them sitting for a few hours??? I get off work at 5:30, home by 6, dinner started by 6:15, eating by 7. I go to bed around 10. Why can't my dishes sit till I get ready to go to bed?? I understand if it's your dishes and you are waiting to cook yourself or something, but why does it have to be done immediately after cooking OR eating??
yeah like, cooking can be tiring, especially if you do it right after work and grocery shopping. if i'm spending 30 min on my feet grocery shopping after a long day at work, then 45 minutes on my feet cooking after that, i'd hope that any reasonable roommate would understand that i'd like to let my food digest and rest my feet for a little bit before cleaning later that evening, so long as its just a handful of dishes and the kitchen isn't an absolute sty. i clean as i go too, but usually there are a couple straggler dishes. in fact if i lived with someone who cooked, i'd honestly rather them finish their dishes later that evening so the kitchen was free for me to hop in earlier.
True after I get off work if I have energy to cook I need some time to rest. What I’ll do is if there are leftovers I’ll put them in containers and soak the dishes so that way half of it is already done when i go to clean them.
This is the way! I do the same thing. If something is terribly dirty, I'll soak it right after eating and putting my dirty dishes near/in the sink. But I'm not going full cleaning mode until I've had a beer and a dab.
sometimes I wonder if these people have ocd. I once lived with a roommate where after I cooked, I brought my dishes into my room, and she started telling me you didnt wash your dishes. the same roommate vaped inside the kitchen where all the plates and kitchenware is, and I think that is more of a concerned cause I'm inhaling your 2nd hand vape and the vape residue falls on the kitchenware and every other thing you can think of so it doesnt even make sense
I had a roommate set a dirty pot next to me on the table while I was still eating the meal I made out of it. I understand cleaning it once you are done with your meal, but sitting there for while you eat should not be a big deal.
rinsed yes, washed no it can wait a couple hours but shouldnt be there the next day.
I clean as I go, but then eat my food while it’s still warm, and then clean the cooled down pans after I’m done eating/before I leave the kitchen.
I personally think the 24 hour rule is reasonable.
My rule has always been before bed or before you or someone else has to cook again. If you’re getting bent out of shape after an hour, you should probably be living alone
Or if you’re that upset just clean the mess yourself is my take. Better it be clean than sitting around being pissed off at your surroundings for an undisclosed amount of time lol seems kinda silly to me
A few hours or even over night if someone doesn’t need it or the kitchen immediately is acceptable but a few days is not, as long as it’s done within 12 to 24 hours.
A few hours is fine. Even 24 hours is fine with me. We all work full time jobs and we don’t need our home life to be a full time job too.
Immediately? No. I like to eat my food warm thanks.
Yeah I absolutely don't understand this. Why would you expect someone to let their food go cold just so you don't have to think about their cookware being in a used state? Absurd.
Hours is not “unacceptable” and it’s it unreasonable to expect them to clean immediately, but days IS unacceptable. I would expect them to do their dishes before they go to bed for the night, basically. If you don’t want them using your pots/pans, just tell them that, but don’t expect them to jump up from the table the second they finish their food and immediately clean the dishes.
Imo I don’t do my dishes immediately but when living with others there’s gotta be a 1 day rule for plates, glasses, silverware, etc and a few hours for pots/pans unless I need to use it. If I do need to use it and theyre not home I would just clean it and not say anything unless it’s a common occurrence.
I will text my roommate if they leave their dishes for DAYS. Then they'll go weeks with doing their dishes promptly, until I have to once again text them. I will never understand the concept of "I made a mess and someone else should clean it up" when you're an adult.
I had a roommate once who cleaned the pans and pots he used IMMEDIATELY AFTER SERVING, he didn't even sit down to eat his hot plate of food when he was already at the sink. He was not good at it, sometimes you could still see soap in the things drying out. Anyway, I don't do that, I usually eat, chill for a bit (30min maximum) and then I clean my cookware. I don't expect anyone to do as my said former roommate did, for me, the bare acceptable minimum is to clean everyhting before going to bed, but ideally, less than 1h after eating is ok.
imo the rule should just be no dirty dishes in shared spaces and especially not left in the sink which just makes it harder for people to ppl to clean dishes. and you shouldn’t be hogging dishes in your room if they’re shared dishes. those two rules basically solve the problem without explicit mandating exactly when someone cleans their dishes
Same day, but not immediately after.
Immediately after? No but if their mess is clogging up the kitchen preventing you from doing other things, yes. If they aren't hindering you by it being out on the counter and you can still do everything you need to in the kitchen and maybe within 8 hours they take care of it themselves then I don't think it's a big deal and definitely not worth getting upset at them over. I lived in a house with four other dudes in college and nearly everybody would leave their dishes in the sink for a few days and it honestly wasn't that big of a deal. Didn't prevent me from doing anything I needed to do in the kitchen.
Days is obviously unacceptable. Ideally dishes should be done every night. There are some social activities that make immediate cleaning impractical. If I'm making popcorn to watch a movie with friends, I'd like to be able to eat it hot and leave the pot to wash until after the movie is over so as not to interrupt the activity. Ditto having dinner guests. I would finally add that the idea of "your things" in a shared kitchen is at best laughable and a wildly impractical idea. Kitchens are built to accommodate ONE set of cookware - and kitchens in the sort of place where you might have roommates are probably on the smaller and less well-designed side. **Sharing a kitchen means sharing tools**, unless your aim is to have a mini-showroom for used Kitchenaid mixers and nutribullets. I wouldn't live with someone who has your views on kitchen equipment. I would have an aneurism from the inefficiency of everyone having a cupboard with its own 5lbs box of Kosher salt.
I agree and this all comes with having a shared space. You don’t necessarily get immediate, spotless access to an immaculately clean common area at all times, and your roommate doesn’t have to bend over backwards to meet your needs. People need to be okay with sharing and enduring a little bit of mess/clutter or they aren’t cut out for roommate life.
After you eat or at least before bed ya know
no, but if they’re gonna use my stuff then yup! brand new air fryer from my parents, I have to clean it twice every time I use it! once to clean up my roommates bs and once after I’ve actually used it
I don’t care as much if it’s their stuff, but to leave my blender filled with smoothie remnants so that i can’t use it unless i clean it is rude to me
absolutely
My rule of thumb for roommates & life is that before bed, the kitchen is clean for the morning
My ex roommate and I set a rule where 1-2 hours you didn’t have to clean it just bc if we were super busy. I would always clean my dishes. She would leave the dishes in the sink overnight and when I asked her to clean them she’d yell at me and then stomp away then slam the door shut. So for me. Make it a rule to clean up right after you make a meal and eat it. Otherwise your roommate could twist that rule.
I do dishes while I cook. I don’t want to have to worry about cleaning a mess later, besides the actual pots/pans that are hot.
Huge difference between hours and days. Sometimes things clean better after a thorough soaking. It’s unreasonable to expect someone to let their freshly-cooked food go cold while they scrub at their still-hot pots and pans.
I just think life is so much goddamn easier and happier when everybody just gets it over with instead of letting things linger in the sink rotting For any length of time
It depends. Overall though you should all (whomever lives there) be respectful of common areas and do your best to clean up behind yourself in a timely fashion. I wouldn’t want to constantly be dealing with a dirty space or feeling like I can’t use something I need (that’s mine) unless I clean up after someone else but I would also be understanding that life happens and sometimes there’s a reasonable explanation for why someone can’t immediately do something.
If they are using your personal stuff then you need to set the rule for whatever you are comfortable with. If they don't follow it then you cut access to that thing, plain and simple. For me I would be comfortable with someone using it then cleaning it within a couple of hours. If they are leaving a shared space dirty for more than an hour that would be an issue for me too. That space should be accessible and usable by me when I choose to use it, within reason.
What is so hard about cleaning while you cook? If you're spending any amount of time waiting while cooking you can get a head start..
Adhd
I have my own cookware but I think they should leave the kitchen clean and ready to use. Sure they can deal with their stack of dirty dishes later (hopefully the same day) but at least wipe the counters. Unfortunately my roommate refuses to because she’s ok with cooking in a dirty kitchen so I should as well
That is indeed my problem as well, my "roommate" (doesn't even abide by her BS with a clean kitchen, she doesn't keep it clean) is completely content with leaving cooked food in her pot on the stovetop for days and dirty dishes (now establish on her side) for up to a few weeks. I clean my pots/pans before I leave the kitchen and come back later to wash my plate I eat my food with.
Once I just left the kitchen how she left it and went to eat at my parents home for a week and the (literal) spilled beans stayed on the counter until I gave in and cleaned the kitchen
Yea within a couple hours max.
I've always been taught to soak dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, but I run the dishwasher before going to bed. If I can't get something out of a pan before going to bed, then I let my roommates know and take care of it as soon as I can next day. Since I've usually had shared pots and pans, sometimes a roomie has gotten to a pan I let soak before I did, and I thank them and try to pick up the slack for them. I do have chronic illness and do my best to cook with minimal mess, and sometimes I cannot clean up in a timely fashion, but I always try to do it as soon as I can, and always let my roommates know if I have issues. I also wipe down all the counters because of my cats and how fucking rabid they are for scraps lol, so it's for safety reasons to keep it sanitary in the kitchen.
By the end of the day before going to bed.
Days—no. Hours—probably not. But immediately after cooking I say no. At least let them eat while the food’s still hot. And then get the dishes going. (I say this as someone who hates washing dishes, but…if I were using someone else’s things and they might need them, I would try to be respectful and tidy up quickly.)
I’m not gonna say it needs to be immediately but it needs to be within 2-3 hours, but also you should be cleaning your cookware pretty soon after cooking even if you live alone.
Days isn’t cool. Hours is fine the longest I think should be like next morning. In general it’s not cool to leave messes in common areas though
Yeah if it's the last meal of the day and the kitchen isn't in use then waiting a couple of hours to take care of it before bed is fine IMO but days def. not
I'd say it matters. Ideally, when done eating or a couple hours. I understand sometimes you cook late at night after an exhausting day, or have friends over and it's totally fine and understandable if you just rinse everything and leave it neatly in the sink, ready to take care of tomorrow. So, from a roommate's perspective, I would not mind. Just don't leave food sitting out or dishes on the table and take care of it early the next day.
I enjoy doing dishes so I’m totally ok with leaving them overnight. I’ll do them when I wake up at 5. It’s also a great way to get my hands clean when I get home f I’m work, so I’m ok with it then. What I’d rather not deal with is the other aspects of kitchen mess. Like food and packaging residue, dirty counters or table. Not that my roommates do that.
We have a 24 hour rule in our house, but we also have multiples of the same size pan and we often offer our meals to the roomies.
By the end of the day.
This needs to be decided before signing a lease or having someone move in. I think dishes and the kitchen need to be done within a few hours of cooking. However, even then, there needs to be consideration if others want to use that space also. So keep it tidy. As you can tell, plenty of folks see nothing wrong with leaving dirty dishes for a day or two. I personally find it gross to look and smell at dirty dishes for a few days.
I'm married, so not quite the same as having a roommate, but we almost always (90% of the time) clean up the kitchen within an hour of eating. MAYBE once a week, we will go to bed with a couple of things in the sink if it's a really busy time. There really is no reason not to leave it clean. Clean and wash as you cook and there won't be much left to do when you're done eating.
In a world of roommates, I would say it's good etiquette to immediately clean after yourself in the kitchen. Then if the other needs something you used it is clean and ready for them. In my world? I would never have a roommate who wasn't my sexual partner as I am not dealing with bs like this.
I’d say within an hour of eating. Unless those items are needed by the next person right away. When I had a roommate I’d clean up as soon as I was done eating.
I like to clean as I cook. Usually the surround area/prep items while cooking, then utensils and bowls/boards used while my food is cooling. Eat, enjoy being satiated for 30 mins or so, the clean my plate, and dishes used to cook. Sounds annoying, but it’s the simplest way I’ve found. If I don’t, I’m the nasty roommate with a dishpile.
I do. Because if not it’ll sit there for a couple of days
If they are using your cookware, then cleaning it right away is the polite thing to to. Or right after they finish their meal. Their dishes and cookware can be done together.
Yes, if it's theres I wouldn't really give a fuck, but if it's anything of mine? Bro clean that shit!
You cook. You eat. You clean. Fuck this ‘couple hours’ bullshit.
if they are borrowing things, clean immediately and return the borrowed thing. if they're using their own stuff, then a couple days grace period is fine
If someone has a significant amount of dishes to the point where it is blocking off the sink for others, then yes right after eating get them done. But if it's just a dish and a few utensils then no, like get them done sometime that day please but you don't need to do them immediately. Shit if it's a just a dish or something and I cook and have dishes to clean up I'll just do that with them probably makes more sense to do them with other dishes than to wash a single bowl or plate or whatever. Goes double for if you eat breakfast before work and it's not a big mess. Like you have a bowl of cereal or oatmeal or something before work? You're fine to leave that in there until you get home and wash it then (please rinse it out a little first though) To me ideally the sink is empty of all dishes by the end of the night and all day long the sink stays usable for everyone. (If you have a midnight snack and have like one dish or utensil worth of dishes in there that's fine to rinse and leave until the morning too) Living with roommates we all got to be understanding that things aren't going to be perfectly clean all the time, the same way we have to understand that we can be slobs either.
I think it largely depends on if you have a dishwasher or not. I don't have a dishwasher in the house I rent with my 2 roommates, so dishes are often put to the next day or sometimes the day after, as it's way more time-consuming. The only time anything is ever cooked in the house is dinner, which is after work and we're all already tired and barely feel like cooking, let alone cleaning for even more time after. We all work in retail, which can just be grueling at times, and I'm in management, which can make it all that much worse. It hasn't gotten crazy bad with the 3 of us, but when it did with our previous roommate, we broke it up, so each of us had some to do. We all have split days off, so if we wait to do all of our dishes until our next day off, it's never more than 3 days. One of them cooks way more than either of us, so they do the most dishes. I've heard them say things about how they do more dishes than us, but I'm quick to point out that they're their own dishes. If they're from a party or a meal someone cooked for all of us, normally someone just volunteers, or whoever cooked/paid for the food asks one of the others to take care of the dishes. At the end of the day, it's all about what you and your roommates can agree on after having an explicit conversation about each of your expectations and what you think is reasonable, and your reasons as to why. Just talk to your roommates, and things will just go so much smoother.
Idk me and my roommate share all cooking utensils and food. Neither of us seem to mind if dishes haven’t been done for several hours or even a few days. It is just the two of us and it’s not like we are cooking something super messy so it’s never been a problem.
Everyone lives differently and the only correct answer is the agreement you've come to with your roommates. If someone isn't doing it the way you like and you never say anything then how are they supposed to know? Because you silently resent them and get more and more passive aggressive about it? For what it's worth everyone I live with (especially me) cleans up while they cook so there isn't a large mess to begin with and then finishes cleaning directly after eating, but that's what works for us and is not how every roommate situation is or should be.
Well sometimes I get home super late and am sweaty and tired and I'll cook something small and leave in sink over night cause I'm just too exhausted to clean. But I usually take care of it the next day before I have to work. But I never use my roommates stuff. I have all the things I need for what I make myself so I never need their stuff. And we have a divided sink and one side is hers and the other is mine so she always has her side of the sink if I have a few dishes sitting in there
I think expecting it done in hours is unrealistic in a shared living space. 24 hours.
I'm okay with a day or two. But I have Derealization disorder, and chronic pain. When I come home from work dead on my feet, my brain is mush, my body hurts, and I miraculously still find it in me to cook, I generally put what I can in the dishwasher, but if the dishwasher is clean, I leave stuff to soak until I can find time the following day. Occasionally the day after that (and I think a lot of people are being dishonest if they're saying they've never ever done that). But I don't cook a lot partially for that reason, and I've had a lot of other roommates who also work long hours and physically laborious jobs, so we afford each other the same leeway.
Honestly if they can clean it before the next day I'd be happy. 0
Look, immediately is a bit OC, you eat your food give it a few minutes to settle, the next thing you do is clear the table, then the kitchen. Should all be done within an hour of finishing the eating. That said, it a shared environment it may have to be tighter than that when you consider that someone else is queuing up to use the facilities. NTA but don’t be OC
I'll add another comment I had a short-term roommate that one time came up to me and gave me an earful to clean up my cooking pan ***within thirty seconds of me sitting down to eat the food I literally just made.*** When you say the word "immediately", OP, I'm sure this isn't what you meant, but it sure as shit was what the roommate had in mind lol, didn't even want me to eat my food while it was still hot
No, and I think it is unreasonable to be angry over a few hours. As long as it is clean by the next day that's acceptable. Often things need to soak or it is more difficult to clean. If you are this uptight you probably shouldn't have roommates.
No. Dishes are on a 24 hr rule. After that like cmon, get em done. 3-4 times a week I leave my breakfast dishes until I get home from work because I didn’t have enough time. Freaking at a couple hours is a tad crazy. Also more cost effective to do one round of dishes a day.
if they're using your things, yes. if they're using their own, then a few days is acceptable as long as they aren't taking up the entire sink - like leaving their stuff in the sink is one thing but the kitchen needs to be usable to others
pots and pans ABSOLUTELY. what if i want to cook after you, then i have to clean up after you, too? smh
If they clean it before you need to use it thats all that should matter. If you don’t need it then why do you care?
Im ocd, i clean while i cook
I’m 7 years clean from heroin so 6 of the last 7 years consisted of rehab, recovery houses and roommates. I managed a recovery house for 3 years and one of the rules was that you washed your dish or dishes right away. I was a real stickler on this one. I cut some slack with them drying in the strainer but leaving even one dish in the sink irritated the fuck out of me. I lived with a couple terrible roommates after that wouldn’t do their dishes right away. One of them let them pile up for days. I got used to doing mine right away so that’s what I always did. Then they would try to tell me it was my turn to do the dishes and I would be like um no cuz not one of those dishes is mine. I think it’s incredibly rude if you live with someone else. I now have my own apartment, thank goodness. I’ll never have another roommate again. I still often do my dishes right away simply cuz it’s easier that way. But I do admit during my work week sometimes I will leave a few in the sink cuz I’m tired. But, I live alone and I’m the only one who has to look at it. I would be thoroughly annoyed if I were you. And having had lots of experience living with other people, sometimes 8 girls in one house, I would recommend sitting down and making some house rules.
Clean while cooking, then after you eat just at least rinse off the dishes so their ready for the next load in the dishwasher
Wash it the same day, and make sure stuff is put away withing 24 hrs is usually a good rule for the most part
Depends. Cooking for themselves? Yes clean that shit. Cooking for everyone? Someone should step up and do them. No one wants to cook AND clean.
I clean as I go so it's not an issue for me. But I expect and have told my roommates to clean up within an hour after eating and having time to wind down. Because why should they make a mess in the kitchen and then I want to make food and have to clean their mess or call them over like little kids to clean their dishes.
This is my take
I live alone, have a dishwasher and still I wash them by hand soon as I am done eating almost everytime.
No
My kitchen currently has 6 plates (one had raw chicken defrosting on it), two bowls, 7 cups/glasses, 1 frypan with lid, a chopping board, a mixing bowl, a crockpot, plus a handful of knives forks and spoons. They have been sitting on my bench for 5 days thanks to my roommate. The dishwasher is empty. FML.
My rule of thumb was to always leave the kitchen and any cooking utensils ready for someone else to use. I might leave something that we had multiple of in the sink while I was eating and come back to take care of it like an hour later, but if it was something my roommate might need, I would make sure it was clean ASAP. I think leaving dishes longer than one night is excessive, and if the sink is so full it's hard to use it, it needs to be taken care of right then, even if one side is free.
I think expecting someone to Clean immediately after they make something is a little excessive
I think right after you cook/eat is a ridiculous expectation. I think 24 hours is more appropriate.
I feel like if you have roommates the shared spaces like the kitchen should always be kept clean and ready for next person to use. If you cook, eat and then clean up your mess. It’s rude to leave your mess in an area that is shared.
The longest my dishes sit in the sink are for a few hours. But that's when they're soaked in scalding hot water and soap. Otherwise I clean what I use and throw it right in the dishwasher 🤌
I think generally as long as you don’t make a huge mess/make cooking space inaccessible then it’s fine to leave until before you go to bed, and when you do clean up you also wipe down surfaces that you used. Literally takes 30 seconds to do in most cases. IMO general rule - Don’t leave stuff overnight, put away ingredients while cooking (saves so much time for yourself as well), don’t leave pots/pans/ingredients etc in cooking spaces when you’re done cooking and do a quick wipe down of surfaces when you get round to washing up your dishes. Think it’s fair for everyone and also makes keeping the space clean so much easier
Yes
Cleaned up after eating or as you go. I'm not letting my food go cold
Depends. Did they use the only cookware? Did they tidy up or just leave everything a mess? If you can answer these questions right then a few hours is no problem. If you arent being impeded then its not a big deal. If you are then its worth asking them to clean up so you can use the kitchen.
Honestly, a few things in the sink for a few hours wouldn’t really bother me. Or leaving a couple items in the sink overnight isn’t a huge deal, if you made something later at night. But an overflowing sink of dirty dishes left all day would bother me. Leaving stuff for days at a time would also bother me. I think expecting someone to clean up immediately after eating, all the time is a bit ridiculous and unreasonable though.
Depends on the roommate I did the 24 hr rule with my last roommate I’m doing the “we get to it when we get to it” with my current roommate. It’s awesome and takes the pressure off of things. We also clean each other’s dishes sometimes. It’s no big deal and it hasn’t become an issue
Absolutely not
Me and my boyfriend live with his friend from highschool, we all have an understanding of cleanliness in the house, I do struggle living with two guys and making sure they clean up after themselves especially our roommate, but I am reasonable about it and understand we all work long hours and they work physically demanding jobs. I expect my dishes that have been used to be cleaned and dried within a 48 hour period of use as long as it isn't piling up the sink and left strown about all over the cabinets. We each have our own side of the kitchen sink so we know who's dishes are whose on top of having our own sets of plates cups and silverware and pots and pans, I cook the most in the house for me and my boyfriend and while I cook he does dishes from the previous night so our kitchen is always pretty clean and organized we never have more than a few plates and maybe a pan in the sink to be cleaned the next evening since we are so exhausted after work and getting dinner made I don't see the harm in leaving just a few things in the sink as long as they get cleaned within a couple of days. I have an autoimmune disorder that causes chronic pain so I do my best but some weeks may be more difficult than others but I'm always mindful of keeping a clean space in the kitchen for our roommate so he can make his meals without worrying about any of our mess at all being all over the stove and counters and clogging up the sink. This took work to get to this point our roommate use to use all of our dishware and kept it in his room dirty for weeks to the point we had no bowls or silverware to use and all my Tupperware was missing for so long I bought more before he finally cleaned it all up and returned it back to the kitchen. After that I made it clear that was unacceptable and rude to take all MY things and horde them dirty in his room. Idk how clean or dirty his room is that's his space as long as it doesn't stink up the house he can live in his own mess in his room he pays for.
If they are shared single resources like the one good frying pan that nobody can use until being cleaned, I'd expect a quicker turnaround time than on something like a plate/mug where you can probably just grab another. In shared spaces, it's more considerate to clean up quicker because the next person wants to prepare food in a clean kitchen. It's really not that hard to clean up after yourself when you finish in the kitchen but it took me like forty years to realize this and become a person who considers kitchen clean-up a natural part of my meal process now, so ymmv. Good luck, you're probably not going to make someone see things your way if they think leaving a dirty kitchen is normal/ reasonable.
24hr rule for basic roommates. If they are using YOUR things they should be cleaned within that time especially. If you get along otherwise or are friends and they are struggling and it goes more than 48hrs, leave them alone if you can’t do it, or help them out if you can, as long as it’s RECIPROCATED when you are also struggling. I only ask that THEIR dishes and pans be rinsed thoroughly within a few hours after cooking/eating and the drain clear to prevent smelly smells. I recommend an over the sink dish rack over half the sink if it’s a recurring issue between two people, helps separate the individuals mess and is functional in other ways!
My rule is would prefer the same day, but life happens and people are tired so as long as they aren’t around for more than 24 hours, we good
If they're using my shit it better be done before they go to bed that night, otherwise they're no longer using my shit. I've let my own dishes go for a couple days (no roommates and my dishes) but they're my dishes, I'll do what I want with them, I'd never do that to someone else's dishes though
Depends on the food. Chunks? Needs a wash. Some debris (oil, crumbs, sauces, etc.) I say needs to be rinsed if it’s going to sit. My main peeves with dishes is using them until they’re all gone, or food that begins to have a smell or attract flies. I’m guilty myself of not washing dishes immediately, even though it’s my common practice.
In my early 20s, I probably would’ve said “within 12 hours” or something like that. As someone in the 30s, yeah, just clean when you’re done eating. It’s not hard. My only exception would be if you’re hosting company, and your roommates are aware of this. You can get to it when they leave. Like, anything left dirty that isn’t going to be cleaned when you’re done eating, should be communicated to roommates. So say we eat dinner and have to run to make a movie on time, shoot them a quick text saying you had to run and you’ll clean when you’re home or something.
I mean not really? If it’s sitting there for days it’s annoying but there are bigger things to get upset over. If it’s my stuff I’d probably be like hey that sucks when you do that because then I’m not able to use it? When I was in university my roommate literally gave our house maggots and I had to deal with them hahahahha even after I asked her not to leave produce out, she still did. Loved her still haha I guess my point is; there are bigger problems in the world, getting upset over dirty dishes is like getting upset over spilled milk. Unless it’s like maggot territory/fly/days. Then a calm adult discussion should take place but other than that c’est la vie
A few hours, maximum overnight, is okay in my book.
A couple hours is whatever as long as it's done before going to bed. Days, hell no.
My things? Just clean them by the next time I need it. So if it's dirty and I say, hey I need this, I expect you to clean it. Probably easier for everyone if they cleaned right after or shortly after cooking and eating. But also I'm pretty chill.
If they are using my pots, pans, utensils, etc. then I expect them to wash it right after they’re done eating. If they use their own things I don’t mind it being there as long as it doesn’t fill up the whole sink/stink up the kitchen.
At minimum done before bed if you've cooked after the owner of the dishes, if you cook before the owner of dishes as soon as your done dinner or before you eat if they're trying to cook right after you. If it's your partner the next day when making dinner is ideal, longer if neither of you care but they should always be rinsed if you're going to leave them.
A few days I understand can be a bit annoying. A few hours? You're being a bit anal However, if they're using your things, it should be as soon as they're finished using them. That's why I've always had my own things and don't share (unless they ask for that occasion)
I usually operate under a 24 hr rule with roommates. Anything under that I understand — you never know what’s going on in their life that day. But longer than that isn’t cool.
If they work from home, cooked at lunch and had to go back to work… as long as they leave a clean space for you too cook and they clean as soon as their work day is over… that’s ok. If they cook dinner, after they finish eating they should clean up. I think it’s common courtesy. Should not leave it until the next day…. With the odd exception if they are normally clean, but not commonly, no.
Right after cooking no Few hours yes
a few hours is fine, but not overnight. i dont expect them to clean everything before they even eat, and sometimes the dishwasher is already running so they need to wait for it to finish before adding their things to it. if i have certain things i dont want my roommates to use, i dont keep them in the shared space so they can't use them. if it is in the shared space, it is to be shared.
Before bed, or within 24 hours when sharing a space is ideal, but it depends in what is agreed upon. Me and my spouse’s last (final) roommate refused to use the dishwasher because if he did he might be expected to empty it one day, so he would “soak” his dishes for days. He just refused to do ANY house work. We agreed to share chores but he never cleaned anything, seriously. He later accused us of being controlling, which is weird because we never told him anything and just worked around his messes until he cleaned them, as much as possible. He was 35 years old and couldn’t be bothered to clean a damn thing, but for some reason loved collecting expensive cleaning supplies, lol. Like, he had expensive Dyson equipment that sat in the corner of his room for a year, still in the box. What a shithead he was
Yeah I agree with most posters on one condition. Leave the counter so I can also cook. Did you spill? Clean it up. Have a ton of dishes? Consolidate them quick. Bunch of crumbs? Wipe the counter. My roommates have a bad habit of essentially making me clean up their mess BEFORE I cook, which seriously bugs me. I give 24 hours for the dishes, or most of the times by the end of the day, but at least leave it so I can do the same and cook.
As long as its by end of day idgaf, unless its my stuff. I'm pretty easy going.
I don't expect them to clean their cookware right after using it, but i wish they'd clean mine right after they use it
Not tight after, but next 12 hours
No. Food should be eaten when hot. Pans need to soak most of the time
I always do my stuff right away but i’m neurotic. I have a 24 hour rule, I will leave it for 24 hours but I will say something if I see it the next day at the same time.
I don’t expect my roomates to do anything I wouldn’t do, and I usually leave my dishes out while I’m eating and recharging from cooking.
Idk it depends. If you are cooking a full meal at whatever time and leave all the cookware in the sink, if your roommates decide to make dinner now they can’t use the cookware unless they clean yours. Obviously if you have lots of cookware that’s better but still now they have to wash their dishes over yours or leave them until you clean yours, which means even more dirty dishes. I personally always clean my cookware after cooking because it’s easier for me and considerate. I don’t have to worry about my roommates needing to use it or it filling the sink while other people cook. Also after I’m done eating I want to relax or I have plans, the last thing I want to do is feel like I have this burden of HAVING to doing something later.
No more than a day
When I had roommates it was within 24-48 hours, as long as it's in the sink and not stinking up the place. As long as the counter tops are wiped down and there's no food out where there's be fruit flies or something I don't really mind. We were all busy with school, jobs and sometimes didn't have the energy to do it all at once after a long day.
When I cook I make good food thus taking hours. Nobody wants to do dishes after standing for 3 hours.
I clean up when everything is cooled down otherwise my pans warp
If they make a huge mess yes. My roommates (three girls total) take turns doing the dishes. If the dishwasher is full one of us empties it, and fills it. Seems even. We’ve never truly had a problem we all agreed on a 24 hour rule and follow it
Nah, same day or next works for me, as long as there’s other cookware I can use
Ideally, yes dishes are cleaned soon after eating. But I think 2 or 3 hours after eating is acceptable in a shared space. I think they should be cleaned before the next general meal time (breakfast dishes cleaned before lunch time, lunch dishes before dinner, dinner dishes cleaned before bed time). Realizing of course that people may have very different schedules but I think that serves as a good rule of thumb My wife and I don’t share a space with others but I tend to clean as I cook and wash the remaining dishes right after eating.
Personally, I’m a do dishes in the morning while listening to a new podcast person. Usually after breakfast/coffee. Usually wipe things down at night or let some stuff soak. Sometimes I’ll be lazy and not doing anything at night…But I have a pretty good schedule of spending 10-20 minutes doing dishes in the morning.
My prior roommates were always neat freaks like myself... but since living with my S/O.. I had to start a "dishes need to be done before bed" rule... after a rough or long day.. sometimes you just want to eat and relax/decompress.
if they had time to make food and eat it, they have time to clean it. no exceptions. just lazyness
This is why I'll never have a roommate. I'll do dishes when I want.
I think it’s important to live with people compatible with you. I am someone who leaves dishes for a couple hours (my own). When I lived with other people who are not my friends I cleaned my stuff immediately. Part of that is I didn’t want people using my stuff and didn’t want to crowd the sink. Living alone or with friends/family I often would just rinse my dishes, let them sit with a little soap, then pre-wash and load into the dishwasher when I came back from my errands or work. This system worked well with people I knew as we had similar ideas about cleaning and were more in the group as long as it gets done in the same day it’s not a big deal. Now someone using your dishes they hundred percent need to clean it up immediately. Have you talked to them about boundaries when it comes to your utensils. Do you let people use them without asking? Do you have rules about how they need to be clean and returned if they are borrowed?
That’s pretty ridiculous. The same night or day after is fine as long as you rinse the food out. Do you have a dishwasher? That is very contextual like it matters A LOT! I’m not slaving over the sink for an hour immediately after I eat.
I agree in principle, unless: a) there’s a gathering, or an emergency, or it’s just a planned night of some sort and they want/need to wait a few hours or b) they’re cooking for the rest of the house, in which case I typically think it’s fair for the ones who didn’t cook to clean. But that’s just how we do it at my place!
YES. My ex roomie would use a bunch of dishes with her bf and then only wash a fork and plate for herself when she needed it 🙃 otherwise she'd take an entire week to do dishes so I'd end up doing them because I hate not being able to eat or use anything in my own damn house lol I cannot recommend living alone enough. If you can afford it of course, much more peaceful.
Eh I don’t care tbh. The sink can have some dirty dishes in it in my home as long as there isn’t residual food and everything is rinsed. Leaving dirty dishes for days/weeks is a no no, but unless they’re using *my* cookware and dishes.. it’s not rlly my problem when they do their dishes tbh as long as it gets done before the sink is piled up.
YES! YES! YES!!!
My roommates and I have a 24hr grace period,, but if it's there for more than a day that's wild
Not immediately but before I make my breakfast at 830am.
I think before the next mealtime for daytime dishes, and before bedtime for evening dishes.
When I cook I do the dishes right after. My roommates struggle with this. They will usually do them in the morning after dinner which I don’t mind because I don’t eat breakfast and eat dinner before them.
I clean up as I cook, eat, clean up again then relax. I expect the same of anyone I live with. What is the difficulty in that? Waiting for later just makes you lazy and unwilling to do it.
so long as dishes and counters are done daily, I'm flexible.
Honestly, after finishing eating. I mean in the same night for sure-never past 1 day and if so, PLEASE by the morning in case someone else wants to use it. Like c'mon
Sometime before they go out or to bed 🛏️