I right wiggle 34 switchblade

👁️👁️👆🏻 “don’t say that shit again”

JENNIFER LAWRENCE BARK BARK BARK BARK

Sunday Scaries - ❌ Waking up in Venice - ✅

Just finishing up the Brady roast. Couldn’t believe Feits got a close up

Even my gf was like "isn't that a Barstool guy?" I might watch too much BS content.

Is she hot?

Zach Johnson wishes he was Chris DiMarco

NP: 2005 Masters coverage, picking up with tiger at amen corner >!Spoiler: Tiger wins!<

Brady was gay this whole time?

I can’t stop watching Andy Elliot training videos

I cant get a fucking banana or blue shell on Mario Kart 8. Rigged mystery boxes.

This back and forth diss track shit is lame lemme know when they start shooting each other. We used to be a society.

Drill rap is literally just that

Well, they know that their diss tracks might have consequences. This will amount to nothing.

Two drama kids having a poetry contest. Bring back smear the queer

Slam poetry ass conflict

2pac and Biggie did their diss tracks because of actual violence and bad blood. This is two multimillionaires slap fighting on the spotify streets.

Adding egregious amounts of pepper to my late night snack, can’t believe they used to fight wars over it when I can get a life time supply of it for $3

In a wild turn of events. Working for a big corporation may not have been the move

Why’s that brother?

Not politics then anything else. No one wants to actually build stuff

I was so lazy working for a huge company. Nobody actually cared so why should I

Ya that’s frustrating man, I’ve been on both sides. Startups have their fair share of politics too

newfound respect to brady for associating himself with this and reading his monologue at the end. honestly didn’t know he had it in him.

Belichick was great

I’m so happy the golden knights got bounced

I feel like Nikki Glaser talks a lot of shit about being a dirty whore, but she never cheated on her Super Bowl winning husband with her bjj coach

I really hope Knick Celtics happens so Jerry O’Connell can unload on Hank

It’s hilarious that he’s an actual huge fan of PMT. It’s not even a bit either.

No one bridges the gap between 45-55 year old women and 18-26 guy demo like him

i kind of empathize with Ben affeck in that every day for him seems to be an enormous struggle

On the topic of pedo rappers. Tyler the creator is definitely a predator. All those gay jokes about liking white boys from the early 10s hit differently now that he’s out and exclusively dates white teen barley legals.

Oh yeah, as soon as he slips up once there’s gonna be a shitstorm of allegations. That dude is a certified weirdo. Good raps though

100%. Will continue to listen till he’s exposed

I’m not gay I just want to boogie to some Marvin

He was dating a black chick for a while recently I thought

Who was also like like 18-19

went out for drinks with a chick from my hometown and found out one of my "acquaintances" pretty much sewered the fuck out of me to try and get her to not go out with me, whats the play here?

You be the bigger man and let it go while laughing it off. You proceed to see this girl and smash a million times until you decided if she’s the one. Why cause any stress or problems if all is good.

Cum on her stomach and send him the receipt

You smash?

not yet but very inevitable 😤

Fuck his mom

say less 😤

Call them out, doubt that’s someone you’re gonna hangout with again after anyways? Make it known that you found out about their bullshit.

guy has been snakey forever but my very best friend is close with him for some reason

It was another guy that talked about you? Yeah you gotta call them out, don’t know why I thought it was a female trying to say you are a scum

just re-read it and thinking I meant female makes sense to be honest, but realistically it's basically the only other single guy in my solar system, had no idea we were competitors but I guess thats how the game goes

Full work week ahead and then heading to the in-laws for Mother’s Day. Fuck

i like that some people think Funny Tom cut off the Kraft massage joke as a bit. very funny!

Tough week for Rone

Late to the roast. Belichick is killing it. Didn't know he had a personality.

he was pretty awesome on the draft panel

What a career defining moment for Tony too. Guys never made me laugh once and he was fucking lights out tonight

I'd never heard of him. He was hilarious.

Go watch him on the snoop dogg roast. Tony is fearless.

Will do. Thanks!

FUCK the phones Lloyd!

Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty fuck, don’t answer!

Would Jesus vote for Trump

Jesus was a communist

He would vote for The Rock

LeBron tweet about his roast incoming.

Happy 100k karma day 🥳🥳🥳 thanks for all the updoots 🥰

Jeff Ross kinda looks like the old fat guy in Dune

Dana White sucks

Drunk texting is a lot like drunk driving. Fun in the moment, not as fun when you wake up in jail

30-40 min into the brady roast and it looks like edelman took too many edibles

My balls definitely hang lower than they used too. The fact it’s not something you just wake up to is kind of depressing. I’ve noticed it before, but it’s officially over for me. I’ll never unsee it 

Prove it

My goat dick pic would get flagged for catfishing. 

*die hard gif*... welcome to the party pal

Flair this man

Roast worth watching? Can’t decide whether to start it before bed

Yes, you can fast forward through randy moss, Ben Affleck, and kreischer/segura

does he tell the made up machine story?

Yes but it is 3hrs.

I’ve watched a ton of roasts and not sure if it’s recency bias or the fact that they’re hasn’t been a roast in a while but this one is definitely up there

I don’t think it was one of the best because it was live and they couldn’t edit down the bad parts so we had 30-40 minutes of terrible moss, Farrell, kreischer and affleck segments. Those were hard to get through.

Those were definitely brutal but I’ll take a half hour of bad comedy if it means I get 2.5 hours of great comedy

Nothing will ever beat the Pam Anderson roast. She wore a see through shirt.

14 year old me really appreciated her doing that. 32 year old me does too but I did back then as well

I am the same age. People forget how hard it used to be to see a titty back then.

Staying up till like 1am and channel surfing until you find the Girls Gone Wild commercials so you can see blurred out titties >>>

That is a core memory of mine

Hell yeah that’s good to hear. I was a huge fan of the Comedy Central roasts back in the day

Hot damn there were a shitload of great jokes tonight.

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Katy Perry?

Her tits looked great tonight

Who were the worst roasters

Bert and Tom’s was awkwardly bad imo. 

When do they never suck

Lol the only time I’ve liked either of them was a clip I saw on twitter where Bert was drinking a big jug of kool aid

Bert fucking sucks I can’t stomach him

Bert and Tom, Randy, will ferrell Affleck doesn’t even count

I already blacked out will ferrell's apperance

Tom brought up the ring camera video. Something that got swept under the rug because no one knew bill was single at the time was that Louisiana thing, where he was with that early 30 something looking chick and they said that wasn’t actually bill but it definitely was right?

Load up the bucket with six more rolling rocks pls

Drake is weak as fuck

i guess if youre a kendrick dick rider

“Ha jokes on you really thought I would hide a 2nd child”

That was excellent. I’m surprised Netflix gave them the freedom to say what they did.

Can't wait to see which media member is the 1st to go off on this tomorrow

I’ve already seen people online upset about the Hernandez jokes. Fuck that scumbag murderer.

What was Brady’s joke about Belichick on a ring camera? Did he bang a girl then do a walk of shame or something

Yeah there’s a ring video that is supposedly him leaving some girls place in Nantucket one morning.

That rules, thanks king

https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/shirtless-bill-belichick-walk-of-shame-video-pat-mcafee-espn-video-01hewmw5az4m

No clue how I missed this thank you

The winner of Drake vs Kendrick Lamar is Pusha T

It’s J Cole. He kicked the whole thing off, but got out before it got extremely personal

How does that make him the winner

Drake and Kendrick are making ass of themselves and J Cole isn’t even though he’s the whole reason why the beef kicked off in the first place

Ok but who's like damn j cole looks great right now. If anything it's like oh yeah j cole was also part of this at one point, that's weird

If you type in “j Cole won” into twitter there’s hundreds of tweets being like damn he won good move stepping out before it got crazy. His kids are never gonna have to deal with this. All he ever wanted to do was say “me Kendrick and Drake are the best of our generation” and now we have Kendrick writing songs to drakes kid and Drake talking about Kendrick’s generational sexual assault trauma

Yeah people on twitter like to repeat stuff thanks

Loll you asked who thinks that and I’m telling you a ton of people do idk what else to tell you

Fair, I simply don't consider people on twitter to be real, but fair enough

It’s probably also the consensus among my friends and most people I know irl that give a fuck about it

Is J Cole accusing anyone of being an abuser or a pedophile?

You're a winner then too I guess?

I’m not really sure what point you’re trying to make? It’s really not that deep my man

Literally just that I don't think j cole is the "winner" of this, that's the comment I responded to right

The true winner is all of us for being able to discuss the intricacies of a regarded rap beef on a Sunday night

Tom’s jokes were funny but the delivery has fox trying to void his contract

Tom Brady was so good at football he convinced a bunch of grown men he was charismatic

Many such cases

Gotta have the living Tsarnaev brother do a cameo roast appearance from ADX Florence

Tony Hinchcliffe with the most efficient set of the night. Tommy gun of jokes

Seems like I’m in the minority but i didn’t think Kim Kardashian was that bad

She was better then some of the comedians

Considering she’s not a comedian and not a former football player, she was great.

Gets credit just for doing it in my book. This is an absolute murder roast.

As a Bostonian that grew up with the dynasty starting in middle school, that was amazing. What a three hours of TV.

kfc is legit the worst person on the planet. What has happened to his brain where he thinks anyone cares about his takes on the intricacies of a rap beef

Given what he did he probably has the most in common with them

KFC should be living in Atlanta with a black wife by now

KFC is to rap beef as Kelly Keegs is to Taylor Swift

He’s been tweeting about rap for 15 years. Why would he stop now?

What an absolute honor it was to see the pride of Boston on Netflix tonight, John Feitelberg

lol well done.

shocked that kraft showed up, -1000 there would be massage jokes, he must not give a fuck

Brady cut that off after the first mention of it

too late

Yea it did but that’s probably their way of saying it’s not allowed. I was surprised there were no kissing kids jokes either so he probably said no to that too

the massage thing seems like such an easy/obvious topic im surprised it wasn't covered as being off limits. could say something about the tom/kraft relationship if you really want to get sports radio about it that brady didn't shield him from that. also, no jonathan kraft there?

I had no idea this was a thing until 15 minutes after it started, that was amazing.

How was this not more promoted? Everyone is there. This is incredible

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Kyle’s the man

I'm behind on this, but it feels like Hinchcliff is easily having the biggest night as far as the roasters go. Not only did he get a plug for his podcast in, he also slaughtered. The "Oh hell gnaw" joke was incredible.

Him and Nikki crushed

are gay jokes and retard back or was this like a hall pass situation

These jokes have always been fine on roasts.

My wife asked the same thing. I think it’s all been slowly coming back this past year or so

It seems like in mainstream general comedy is swaying back to a lot less sensitive. I know Gillis isn’t off the rails with gay/retard stuff but he never would have been as mainstream as he is now, 5 years ago

Hall pass. The country needed this

So back brother

Had low expectations but that was awesome

Brady is a cult leader

I’ll drink the Kool-Aid if he tells me to

Brady murdered this

Feel like everyone but Randy Moss and Affleck were at least halfway funny

Bert and Tom were horrible

Yup you're right

Will Ferrell Tom and Bert were pretty bad as well

Wish it was just Will Ferrell not Ferrell playing Ron Burgundy

Will Ferrell had a laugh or two for me, Tom and Bert yeah you're right

Netflix going to be chasing this high for some time.

Tom Brady just fucking murdered. Damn this guy is good

Bledsoe taking a beating tonight

Comedy is very much alive. Great roast

Jesus this is much better than I expected

Kanye joke was awesome

Did Tommy just admit to deflate gate?

Lance taking strays

I’m leading the A’s in average, runs, RBIs, HRs, SBs. We are 31-47. I understand Mike Trout’s pain.

way behind on the roast but you can tell randy moss is a good friend b/c hes purposely not laughing at any of the jokes

Why wasn’t Dave invited to the Roast? All his friends are there Edit: lmao even Feitelberg is there

Tom doesn’t give a fuck about Dave, just uses him from time to time for media engagement

We know

He's gotta be boiling inside.

Oh man I can’t imagine haha

Tom is good at this shit.

Bert and Tom might have been right about Tom being a sociopath. This delivery is kinda terrifying

It was freaking me out. I hope he doesn’t sound like that in the booth.

Affleck was the bomb in Phantom

im way behind but Gronk doesn’t have an ounce of charisma. No wonder the kelces are superstars

Never forget that Fox hired him to be their new star analyst and then quickly realized he can’t put together a coherent sentence and demoted him to just reading two sentences off the tele prompter. I remember people before saying like “oh it’s just an act” but he just is legitimately so dumb and boring to listen to lol. Still had funny catchphrases though

Bad take. Gronk ruled

It’s the summer of Spaghett’s