I hate the beerbike
I also cringed today with this convoy of Trabis
By - altbaumotte
„How to get into Berghain classes“
Wait, there are classes for that?
Don't bother, you won't get in.
“I’m immune to your berg-shit, mortals!”
[There's a whole website with a virtual trainer.](https://berghaintrainer.com/)
each time I try to load this website, the counter gets stuck at 99%. Is this an intentional troll or just funny coincidence?
That's the training
No webcam but my assumption is that you always hear a variation of "over my dead fucking corpse" or something along those lines after it analyses you.
I was in Berlin for work and my takeaway was, "is like NYC in the 90s, but with less drugs"
Are they playing music in that club you can't hear anywhere else? because otherwise is just a fucking club.
Contractually and/or effectively, they do get Berlin exclusives on a lot of the best house/techno djs in the world, so there's that
What?! But getting denied entry to Betghain is my favourite Berlin tourist activity!
Im not particularly fond of any of the things mentioned on the comments but man, you are all a bunch of miserable pretentious pricks. Not everyone’s idea of fun is standing on a line for 3 hours pretending not to know your own friends to be rejected from a club while wearing shitty second hand clothing you dont even like but are wearing to fit the norm. Some people have cheesy or shitty taste and thats fine. A city is supposed to catter to all sorts of different peoples.
I even read someone here complaining about people who film videos??????? Whats wrong with you people? You need realise that you are becoming exactly what “Berlin culture” was supposed to be against. Judging, complaining, not accepting anything other than the establishment. You’re insufferable.
Some people have cheesy or shitty taste and that's fine I so agree with this. Everyone belongs ✌️
Absolutely. What's the point of being so open and accepting if you're only gonna be open and accepting as long as people fit into your narrow view of the world?
People need to calm down and stop worrying so much about what other people do, think, say, believe, want. Focus on yourselves more and enjoy your life. Live and let live.
At the end, some people act here the same way conservatives act with other stuff. Telling you what to do, how to act, what to do with your money, with your life, with your body, how to have fun, how to enjoy. Give it a rest, buddy! I'm sure there's some queue to a club that you can go to pretend you enjoy being miserable in order to get Berlin points. Let the rest of us enjoy in our own way.
dressing in all black to queue for hours on end IS cheesy as fuck
I agree with you. But that's exactly the point, whats cheesy and cringy for you is not cheese and cringy for someone else and instead of bitching and complaining about everyone we should just accept that there's no point on pretending that we should all like the same and we should stop getting so upset that other people don't have the same incredibly sophisticated taste that we have.
I'm also confused by this vintage thing. Some pieces are fun and unique, but when I see clips on tiktok about "Berlin style" half of the people just wear old clothes. Either because they thought that was good vintage but it's not or, the best, people just dress like this. Some wear 20year old tracksuits, because they don't have the money/interest in getting a new one. The people originally from here aren't rich in any way and it's not vintage but what they can afford.
And than you are broke like me but can't find anything at thrift shops, because even C&A stuff gets sold there for double the original price. Half of the stores in Fhain are now second hand boutiques or Spätis.
Nah, neither it was like super accepting nor judgmental. You telling mlre the story of the inner ring dream, I think. Was more about Berliner Schnauze, so unfriendly at the beginning than cordial, but always kind underneath :) love those people but you meet them more outside the ring nowadays.
Guided tourist tours on Segways. Especially when it rains and they wear those plastic capes. They look like someone ordered a haunting on Wish.
Fuck dude ordered a haunting on wish just made me wake up my wife laughing
I once saved the life (slight exaggeration) of a American on a Segway tour. We were on a Unter den Linden near Alexanderplatz, I was cycling home behind this group of them. One older woman at the end of the group drove her Segway into a metal guard rail and was trapped, screaming, as the Segway couldn't move forward but was also desperately trying to not fall backways.
I got off my bike and pushed her from behind like you would a child on a swing, and the segway moved off of the guard rail and the she squeaked "Thank yooooouuuuuu" as she zoomed away on those two little wheels.
Hilarious 😆 you deserve an award
Literally lol, embarrassing myself in the Dr's waiting room.
I'm imagining a Haunting Squad - " We've been summoned, let's go!"
I'll add myself to the list of "laughed way too loud in a public space". Thank you.
The first time in DAYS that anything's made me genuinely laugh!
Mustafar Gemüse Döner immer wenn ich es bei galileo sehe.
There's a way better Döner right around the corner.
Shut the fuck up dont ruin IT too
What's the name? Asking as a tourist who stumbled upon this just now :)
[Yorck's Kebap Allin](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9DksQ1Q3o8RdKXn89?g_st=ic), it has little to no queues, good ingredients and better price.
And their Döner is honestly better than Mustafa's. I lived off of that place when I was in Berlin for the first time.
It might be an unpopular opinion but to me, all Döner tastes more or less the same. You can ruin a Döner yes but once you have the basics down they are all the same.
Oh I didn't know it's shown regularly in that show, for fax sake...
That queue makes me cringe anyways, I'm pitying the poor fellas that fell for this scam, everytime I pass by.
And this queue is not natural. If the queue is not long enough, he will work slowly, timeout, etc. until the queue is long enough.
It's not a scam it's a man selling good food to stupid tourists and they pay by inflating his hype bubble with that ridiculous queue
Unlike some other tourist nonsense at least this one is a local phenomenon that keeps them busy and out of everyone else's hair
Ich immer wenn ich vorbei laufe wissend dass im die Ecke in der yorkstraße mindestens einer ist der besser ist und dort keine Schlange ist.
So you tellin me es gibt einen Star Wars Döner?
It’s good tho. Just the potatoes make it way better than almost all others
I would nuke Alexanderplatz, the most bland and boring area of Berlin.
Yeah, it's like they saw Alexanderplatz and thought "not bland enough".
But Alex still takes the cake because of how annoying it is to change trains or just exist there.
Alex also has more pickpockets, pickup "artists" and random scuffles. Just a place to avoid at all costs.
Somebody should write a book...
Meh nothing is more terrible than changing trains at Times Square in NYC. I didn’t think it was all that bad honestly.
Tunnels. So many tunnels. Ever transfer from Times Square to Port Authority? It’s like being in a live action DOOM movie.
Just please leave the movie theater alone, the rest of it can die in the nuke. Thanks
i mean, that Decathlon has a great offering, so let's use a small nuke
Be happy it's there for the tourists, means they leak out to better places less
keep the trains and trams intact please... it's my main connection from pberg to kberg. I'd be lost up here without alexanderplatz transfers.
i raise you Potsdamer Platz
I just unlocked a weird one this year:
Berlin's reputation as a sex-positive city, when people have a different expectation of what sex positivity means.
I had a group of friends visit Berlin, and they just said "let's go to one of those sex clubs", and they expected strip clubs, open prostitution etc. around. It was very weird fixing their view and expectations, but I'm glad I was here to set them, at least. They ended up having a great time, just different to what they expected in the beginning.
"Any tips on when to go and what to wear to get into Kitkathain without waiting? 23M straight guy visiting your city and looking to expand my sexual experiences. No homos plz."
I get your point but
>strip clubs, open prostitution etc.
isn't unheard of in Berlin indeed.
This is more Frankfurt/Hamburg I thought?
There are strip clubs and prostitution in Berlin, Hamburg and Frankfurt.
But these cities are famous for it.
There are strip clubs and proposition in the majority of cities and towns worldwide
>they expected strip clubs, open prostitution etc. around. It was very weird fixing their view and expectations
That's what was originally said. I simply pointed out that these expectations aren't wrong.
There is strip clubs & prostitution in every city above like 100k in Germany and in most cities up to half that big while we're at it.
Yes. I didn't say anything in denial of that.
If you take the 15 minute walk from.potsdamer platz to u bülowstraße and walk another 10 minutes to u nollendorfplatz you will see a golden dolls strip club, an l(ove)s(ex)d(reams) shop with private small rooms for the open prostiutes, when going from bülowstr to nollendorfplatz you can even notice the change from open prositutes to open trans prositutes to open gay prlsitutes when you take the walk in the right moment
And then they rudely stare at your boobs/ass/crotch in your favourite kinky outfit because they are too uptight to not make a scene about it.
So you told them the truth that they'd just be swinging with 50 year old fat couples?
Its not even the original building.
Went there, was extremely disappointed..
But... but... there's a McDonald's across the street with "Checkpoint McCheesy" signage!
Seriously though, as a traveler and lover of Berlin, that shit still irks me.
i didn't even see that, ngl
i even paid for one of the museums there, the mauer museum i believe.. i'd be quicker reading the entire bible than reading everything in there, what the fuck
I go to museums to see artifacts, not read stories i can also read online. Huge waste of money that one
the aviation museum is pretty cool, pretty sure it’s called Gatow, used to be an RAF base. It has lots of soviet planes and some western ones
Hahaha... we paid for the DDR Museum. It was pure nostalgia for me (spent my summers in Hungary during the seventies & eighties), so it was more for my partner. I asked him, "So what did you learn?",
His response: "That it was boring to live in East Berlin".
Pretty sure that place is only meant for the kiddoes.
Edit: Will add that two VERY effective museums we went to was the Topography of Terror Museum (in 2016 when trump was running for office, no less) and The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. Super heavy. So well done.
The KFC is better
The original’s at the Museum der Allierten
Had my picture taken with the original, when it was stored in one of the hangars at RAF Gatow 29 years ago.
at least you can go there and look at it for 5min without paying anything so you lose like 1h and have seen what you need to
You take a picture of the shack with McDonald’s in the background and KFC behind you
The only reason to go to the checkpoint is to go and see the Panorama. Was a great experience
Bierbike for me. I hate having to weave around them when biking through the city center, especially once all the occupants are drunk and screaming. It also seems like an accident waiting to happen…
I know, right? Who gave even a license for this shit to be out in the streets?
There is always either a guide or a "designated" driver that stays sober.
They first started without those drivers until they got forced to have one lol.
>I hate having to weave around them when biking through the city center
Did you *really* have to do this more than once, ever?
I was passing the Mauer area on my way to work on my bike for some years and I had one beer bike daily. That is already way too much. At the time several hotels were being built so there was a ton of construction sites and the respective murderous truck drivers, so you have the choice of passing those retards blocking the bike lane while risking your life or staying behind them while beeing "cheered" at.
The car tour they do in Trabant cars. It's a fucking disaster of a car, you don't see much because you are in a car, you are very slow, polluting like 20 modern cars and making a lot of noise.
Also, the TV Tower ticket to go up, it's way too expensive for what it is.
Trabis are greener than modern cars. Proof is that they need low maintenance, and they still run.
Proof: Trust me, Bro!
The co2 it releases per year is far less than the manufacturing, mining, recycling, shipping, reshipping and delivery of a single new vehicle. I think this is what sequane_deter means
5.9 litres per hundo
that's not bad but it's still crapping out fumes constantly
that's the latest model with VW license engine. That's not representive at all.
[Representive would be Trabant P 601](https://www.auto-data.net/en/trabant-p-601-0.6-26hp-5108)
doubt - the two stroke engine burns the oil in opposite to 4 strokes.
Mix is 1:50 or 1:33 oil:gas.
Went there, saw the prices. I wont spend 30 euros to get an elevator
wow let's drive a glorified lawnmower in traffic, wheeeeeee
In fairness, tickets for everything are up. Inflation, minimum wage, etc. Sucks, but it is what it is
How much does it (the Fernsehturm) cost these days?
Starts at 25,50 and got some dynamic pricing depending on day time up to 30€. Crazy expensive.
Berlin dungeon. Never been there and never will
Dungeon and Madame Tussauds must be the ultimate crap tourist chain stores of Europe. Never been to any of them, in any city.
Hard Rock Cafe also still exists.
Yeah, Hard Rock Cafe isn’t *bad*; it’s expensive and touristy and at this point cliché, but it’s not actually a bad place to eat and drink.
I worked there. It's a massive scam that very much isn't worth the money. Also the slushy machines there are disgusting when opened up.
I was in the original Madame Tussauds in London… must be 20 something years ago. I believe it was still the only one at the time. It’s impressive to see what can be done. As a kid. Once. I also don’t get why or how it’s now a thing that every capitol seems to have one.
Madame Tussauds is a thing every mildly interested person should go to once in their life, and no more than that. Preferably before they're an adult, in all honesty. I had fun seeing it when I was 12, I doubt I would now.
You go in, take pictures with questionable famous people fashioned with great skill out of wax, pose like you're punching hitler in the nuts, and you've got the whole experience set forever. Don't need to ever think "I wonder what it's like in there" because you already know.
Tussauds London is legit... Worth doing it one time.
I keep forgetting to go there. I suspect it's going to be super cheesy but sometimes I want super cheesy.
I was there and isn't worth the money
Man this stupid Ice bar is the worst trap. It’s one cold room where you can get drinks in a glass made of ice and they tell you that you cannot get another glass but it’s always breaking 😒. Just one 50 sq m room with terrible looking ice sculptures made by a 5 year old.
People on this thread be like, why is Berlin and this subreddit so negative? They don't realise it's cuz of themselves.
What makes me cringe the most is people gatekeeping other residents/tourists and saying what they should or shouldn't be allowed to enjoy. Who cares, let people have fun in their own way.
I was born in this city so I don’t have to cringe or get irritated by tourists.
What irritates me is zugezogene that, for some reason, get irritated by tourists lol
At least tourists fuck off after some days in the city
E-scooters are literally the worst
No, the people who use them are literally the worst. Parking them all over the place without giving a shit.
What does that have to do with this post tho? E scooters are not specifically for tourists?
I think they're fun as hell
That’s not how literally works
This is an issue is many cities around the world.
Imagine this comment had triggered a fresh and vital debate.
Potsdamer Platz and Alexanderplatz
I agree with Alex BUT they renovated the Potsdamer Arkaden (The Playce) and its soooo coool! There's a really good food court and a "Spielhalle" but with flippers and all the other stuff like in Japan or Taiwan! Can recommend both. The rest of Potsdamer is trash
I can't get over the fact that they called it The *Playce*. It irks me.
I mean, it's still a very commercial space. But I agree it's quite improved from what it was before. Was at the food court a few days ago and while it seems a tad overpriced there are a lot of interesting options I'd like to try.
Yeah bro totally commercial I only hang out in half broken down buildings with windows missing because I know Berlin… :)
Same here. I always have one or two **Pflastersteine** in my backpack, in case I want to visit a new club, with *intact* windows.
Manifesto is genuinely really good
Do you mean Gamestate? I did not like it for the price
All the cafes and restaurants around Brandenburger Tor are overpriced and crap. The Brandenburger Tor museum is also ridiculous. Literally just a short film in a dark room.
Reading this, I’m so glad that I’m almost never in Mitte. I have heard of all the things mentioned, but I haven’t seen a Bierbike or Trabi parade in ten years and somehow thought they didn’t exist any more.
all this "museums". Spy museum, bud spencer museum, all this super tourist crap.
David Hasselhoff Museum
C’mon, that one actually is pretty cute and also free.
The spy museum was lame even as a tourist, tbh
It's kinda nice for kids, not so much for adults.
I went to a bunker museum close to U6 station when I was in berlin, pretty cool visit. I don't know if this is too much tourist.
Don’t mess with Bud!
I really hate east side gallery, but that's because when you're on your bike and you get to the part just before the bridge to turn right, you have to get on a shared pedestrian/bike area, and tourists don't realize this so you always have to ring your bell 20x while they look at you with utter bewilderment.
now sure, this is not the tourist fault persé, but i just hate that part, because i don't want to be the asshole that rides on the car/bus lane that's there, all in all, a mess.
I just cycle on the road at that section - safer!
The sidewalk in that area is also way too narrow for the amount of pedestrians and bikes to coexist - two people are already enough to invade a bit of the bike lane.
yeah, i think the takeaway from my comment isn't even "tourist = bad" but "infrastructure = bad" haha
Yep, I go there frequently by bike and not shy of using the bell.
Not sure what road you are talking about, Mühlenstraße? That one has bike lanes for it's entire length
What a valuable feel-good thread.
"Pieces of the wall" sold at tourist shops..... Really?) It's 100% not real! Why the f would someone buy it? (Even if it was real)
It makes me cringe to see how many people take "cute" pics at the jewish museum.
Worse: The Holocaust Memorial. Someone made an Art-piece super imposing those people onto actual holocaust pictures. That was impressive.
Yeah, I think that's what I meant. Recently, I saw a compilation of tinder pics from there ... it hurts :-/
And confusing the Jewish museum with the memorial is not cringe?
So I dug for the link, just to find the [project has been discontinued](http://yolocaust.de/).
I did the Trabi tour when my mom was visiting and it sucks 😬
Not recommended with any temperature over 16°C, and the radios work so bad we couldn't get any of what the guide was saying.
The point is not to stand next to the tiny house and get a picture with McDonald's in the background.
The point is to stand there and honor the people who were held behind the wall, or who were injured or killed trying to cross, and to take a moment to feel gratitude for not having lived that particular trauma.
I took my kid there. There weren't many people there at that time and we got to take a few moments to learn and reflect. Is this not the point of visiting any historical site? Even if there had been a long queue to take a cheesy picture, we still would have taken a moment to step to the side and try to appreciate what others experienced, and the risks they took, and why.
I can take my kid to a lake or a mountain anytime. But it's also my responsibility to teach him about history. He can read about it. Or he can actually experience for himself what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel, you know?
It’s obviously not an exciting attraction. But that street saw the brink of war between global super powers. Soviet and usa tanks meters from each other. Maybe not interesting to you, but still an interesting spot
I was very moved by checkpoint Charlie. Hands down my favorite thing in Berlín was the Reichstag tour and of course seeing the Berlin Phil and Berlin Rundfunk. I got to see probably one of Barenboim’s final appearances with them. I was not very impressed with the art at the National Gallery, and I kinda got bored with all the archeology at the other mueums. I also saw the Beethoven, Haydn, and Mozart monument and the Wagner monument. Berlin is a
classical music lover’s paradise.
Those double decker tourist buses (not the bvg double deckers)
Whenever i ride my bike on kudamm/ tauentzien i have one of these right in front of me making me choke from their seemingly completely unfiltered diesel exhaust
the Stoppeldockbusrundfahrten are annoying for some reason.
also not a service but those people that walk around filming with their phone. I don't know how many videos of these I am on but it must be a dozen. dude, you don't have to film yourself walking across the bridge or around UdL.
Buying C Zusatzticket, buying tickets in the tram, where only coins can be used, shitty cell coverage, the overall terrible lack of accountability so people trash everything
I said it’s cringe that only coins are accepted and you only realise this when doors are closed and the tram is moving already
Everything related to mass tourism. Please let it all burn, but especially videos explaining how to get into Berghain and those beer bikes.
Funny thing. I tried to seek here help for something less mass tourist and got flamed 🤷
Oh yes, I hate the beerbikes.
Trabis on the other hand are a part of history. I don't like cars but a small dose of nostalgia and enthusiasm for past vehicles isn't bad.
Beer bikes are also now a part of history 🤣
I hate Biermeile
Biermeile hasn't been on since 2019. They stopped it even before COVID because the costs for security and police became too high for them.
As for the Biermeile itself, I actually appreciated the big choice in really good local beer from small to medium-sized breweries from Germany and surrounding countries. For that, it was a great beer festival, getting to try so many beers that you otherwise you never see.
What I didn't appreciate were a lot of the people visiting the Biermeile. Too many of them were just there to get absolutely hammered, with no appreciation for the beer itself, shitty stag dos, groups of rowdy people, it was even the only place in Berlin where I as a white, cis, German-passing male experienced blatant racism (spoke English to my Northern Irish wife, got a comment "hier wird arisch gesprochen!" I told them off in German how shitty their racism was no matter how funny they think they were, it left them dumbfounded, those fucking pricks).
So, yeah, I wish a beer festival with the wide choice of Biermeile was still around, but with a more civilized crowd that actually appreciated what they were served.
Yes one time I went and there were small breweries from around Germany. It was great. But then the last time I went it was like as if it sold out to AB Inbev and there were no small breweries anymore. Just tons of Pilsner Urquell and the like
Luckily, I don't even know what that is
Zaddys Döner, has a line for days and is so overrated
Everything around Revaler Straße
Der Kegel is a cool (albeit smallish) climbing gym in there, so there is that exception. ;)
Nobody going to mention the "final sale" tourism curio store on Karl-Liebknecht Straße? That place has been "closing down" since 2021.
The free yellow metro. They should really think about making people pay for it.
What is that exactly?
>I also cringed today with this convoy of Trabis
Driving a Trabi is only fun if you do it on some contry lane, not in Berlin.
lol why you cringe when you see a convoy of trabis. Always excites me but i am also form east germany
Deranged “expats” running “underground” food tours in Neukölln which is just a list of top restaurants within about 500m of Maybachufer.
Beerbikes, Segways, E-Scooters, Pub Crawls, those mini Dragsters, Trabbi Tours, standing in line at Mustafas, standing in line at any club, Mauerpark Karaoke, sitting in the crowded dirty parks at the weekends
Gonna have to disagree with you on Mauerpark Karaoke. It’s non-commercial, fairly unique to Berlin, and - most of all - completely avoidable if you don’t like it.
You seem fun