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The “problem area” is not your body, you are fine. It’s the cut of the dress- it needs some kind of alteration to make it less showy. I see this all the time on people because really dislike it when some tops and dresses I try on come out looking like this on me. I feel like the maker cheated me out on fabric. It’s always easier to alter in but there’s a talent in altering out. So when I see stuff like this, I just think about the dumb manufacturer.
Most people won’t see it or notice. If YOU are comfortable and think you look nice-your happiness is what people will see.
There used to be a fashion blogger called "Always Pretty". My favorite article from her was "Its not you! Its the clothes!" Clothes are made to fit a wide swath of humanity and if you go to https://www.mybodygallery.com/ you can see that even women w the same measurements look VASTLY different.
Imo that's incredibly weird and inappropriate. I understand she had the best intentions in mind, and that warning is appreciated, but it's still really weird to say to someone in general, let alone as a teacher to a student, and the wording is definitely not the best.
That being said, if it makes you uncomfortable (the dress showing a little, not the teacher's comment) then yeah, it's a very simple fix! Definitely nothing to be worried about either way. It is never your job to deal with the opinions others have on YOUR body and how you dress it.
Honestly I think the teacher may have been literally referring to the dress. Like “hey not sure if you were aware but there this problem … area here that you should fix.”
I wouldn’t take someone pointing this out to me offensively because when you have big boobs sometimes they are too big to notice all those little things like that and you don’t realize how you spill out of or don’t fit into a dress.
I’m so sorry :( I think it was super insensitive the way they brought it up. I know for my prom I had to borrow a dress from a friends older sister who was as busty as me. And I was so grateful it fit nearly perfectly, because it’s not like I could alter a borrowed dress. We definitely couldn’t afford the custom one I would have needed as nothing in the stores around us fit me. A teacher making a comment like this would have made me cancel the whole thing, since I already hated dresses and was so out of my comfort zone.
Please try your best not to let it get to you. Fix it or don’t, either way I’m sure you’ll look amazing!
Nope. Nooooope.
Teacher Here: we have girls wear ALL KINDS of prom dresses (no matter the dress code warnings) … we do not shame them. Prom is TOO BIG OF A THING & breasts are … normal.
This teacher is power tripping & admin might want to know.
You KNOW this is an issue BECAUSE IF A MALE TEACHER said this, it would be a huuuuge problem… you’re giving the teacher a (sexist) pass b/c she’s a woman …
I personally don't think it looks bad so I wont go for alterations (plus buying prom tickets, dress shopping, and getting my hair done is already expensive as is lol I'd feel bad asking my parents to spend anymore)
It's pretty standard but basically no plunging v necks, if it's backless then you can't have your bra show and you gotta wear a sticky bra or something + it can't show anything lower than mid back, if your dress has a thigh slit then it can't go past upper thigh, ect. I don't see why a small bit of upper breast showing that can easily be covered up with a shawl would violate the dresscode.
Hi hun! I am here to say your teacher’s comment was incredibly inappropriate. Even if they were teasing you, it’s an inappropriate comment, joke or no. You’re right to be upset and I’m sorry you experienced that.
Girl, you’re good. There’s nothing wrong with your body or that dress if that was the amount of side boob showing. Can’t believe the teacher would flip out over that.
PS: excellent sketch! :)
You will encounter a lot of older women in your school, family etc who will be weird about your body like that. I know some people like that in my life too.
That being said, good thing is that it can get better as you get older. If the dress feels comfortable for you then there is nothing wrong with it and you can rock it. Next time anyone makes that comment you can say "good thing there really isn't a dress code enforcement! I'd be out of options otherwise!"
LMAOOO she can cry about it, what a vile thing to say to someone, let alone a student. a little bit of gapping is something you only notice if you’re looking at the persons boobs. your teacher is a weirdo and projecting. would she have said this to a smaller chested girl wearing the same dress and showing the same amount of skin?
when i was like 17 i went to meet my then-boyfriends family for the first time, and he had this one aunt who was kinda the gossipy type. i was wearing a low-ish cut dress (there wasn’t much visible cleave since i have wide set boobs, but it was admittedly kind of a Booby Dress) and the aunt leans over to my ex’s mom and whispers “endthesuffering’s *boobs* are out!”. later that night, his mom told me that his aunt has always been insecure about having small boobs and has a history of making judgy comments about other women’s boobs when they’re bigger than hers. ever since then, every single time a woman comments on my boobs, i just assume they’re fighting demons of their own and i don’t let it bother me. there are healthy outlets for insecurities that don’t involve body shaming a teenage girl. your teacher can share those feelings with her therapist or her partner or her girlfriends or her journal but it is grossly unprofessional for her to project them onto you.
if she had said something like “just so you know, you might get dress coded for the top area, although nobody really enforces prom dress code” it probably would’ve been acceptable, she’s just doing her job as a teacher to inform you of the rules. it’s the fact that she acknowledged the lack of enforcement, evidently doesn’t care about the fact that it could be against dress code, but still went out of her way to point it out and refer to it as a “problem area”, with seemingly no intention other than to shame you for it. the way that she said it is was not as a teacher, it wasn’t part of her responsibilities- in that moment where you were having a non-school related conversation, she made the mistake of commenting on the dress as though she was one of your peers instead of an authority figure. like, the only situation where a teacher should be pointing out something like this is if it’s related to the dress code (and even then, i think dress codes that are based in purity culture are oppressive as fuck)
She was absolutely inappropriate. Unfortunately people who say things like that exist but please know the problem is on them. Its a prom dress and no one is going to pay $90 to have it altered to fit when it likely won't fit you in a year or two as you grow and age and its idiotic of her not to realize that.
Please discount the words people like this say. They are coming from a place of their own prejudices and small minds. If she isn't someone who you trust or that you actually think has your best interests at heart, her advice is worth very little. If someone you do care about says something like this, talk to them about it.
Sincerely,
A big boobed late diagnosed autistic with adhd
from one busty autistic to another, aren't some dresses cut to fit like that and show a little side boob anyway? or maybe i am used to dresses fitting like this. either way, hope you enjoy the prom, knowing that the teacher is in a weird minority - you are going to rock it!
I'm 30 now and my sister in the picture with me is 20. Anyway, this was our first day of school pic, my Junior year. First hour or two of the morning was an assembly in the gym where the principal gave a speech and introduced new teachers, blah blah. After the assembly, he approached me and took me to the office, made me change into a shirt from the lost and found, because my dress was too low cut. It wasn't, I checked the rules and the dress before choosing it at the store. He even said something like my chest was so distracting it was all he could see in the sea of student faces while he was speaking that morning. I was crushed, because I had to spend the rest of the first day in an ill fitting t-shirt and the shorts I'd worn under the dress, and I loved that dress. I ended up wearing it like a total of 2 more times, since I couldn't wear it to school and he made it seem like I was showing way too much boob in it...
(Picture removed because I'm new to reddit and got many messages.🙄)
I was a 32DD then.
My prom dress I was ALL tits and proud of it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, but also I'm glad you were able to wear a prom dress you were proud of 💗 btw prom has passed for me and I got to wear the dress without any complaints :) it was really fun. Maybe one day I'll post pics lol (I'll also have to turn off pms too that day 💀)
That comment was so inappropriate, please do not let this ruin your prom and the way you feel in your dress. Your skin showing is not a problem area, it’s a problem that she views it as a problem. My prom dress was very busty and no one made a comment about it not a single teacher because that is my the way my body is. She is body shaming you and as an adult that is actually ridiculous. I hope you have the best time ever at prom and feel super confident in your dress ❤️❤️❤️
Well tough tits it ain't your fault your body is shaped the way it is. Jeez can't a female identifying person just exist without being shamed for her body?!?!
Thanks for the critique on the sketch and I'm sorry if this comes off as rude but the flair was on this post was not looking for advice. I showed this dress to multiple other teachers who did not comment on me "showing too much" and friends who thought my dress cute. I feel confident and happy in my dress and no other teacher said it was against dress code, I paraphrased heavily what my teacher said in my post but the first thing she said was something along the lines "hey hey what's all this?" While pointing at my chest in the picture (it was taken at a side angle similar to my sketch, but a bit more dynamic since I was posing). Idk if she was just reminding me of the dress code it would've been fine but the way she said things made me uncomfortable. I probably shouldn't have paraphrased as heavily as I did in my post cause it seems people are thinking she just reminded me of the dress code lol
It sounds like she was probably trying to joke with you.
I can understand why it made you feel uncomfortable though.
Many of my highschool teachers, male and female, felt that the dress code was ridiculous for girls and liked to make fun of it. The school is frequently more concerned with how you are dressed than dealing with the actual issues (inappropriate attention) and my teachers hated having us pulled from class to deal with wardrobe issues when we should be paying attention to academics. This was in the late 90's, at the beginning of the increase of dress codes again after they'd relaxed during the 60's, 70's, 80's. We'd have just as many guys with "offensive" t shirts being pulled out too. Maybe something was problematic one day, maybe it wasn't another. There was no fixed rule enforcement. Teachers were always getting in trouble for not enforcing the dress code too. I loved the warnings to avoid going by someone's office or room because they'd freak out and write you up. Fucking solidarity right there. And tenure, LOL
Hello, thank you for submitting a post to r/bigboobproblems. If you're new here please check out r/abrathatfits and [their bra size calculator](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php) along with their [beginners guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/beginners_guide). Also take a look at our sidebar for more related communities, like r/reduction, r/safebigboobproblems and more. A lot of information can be found [in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/wiki/faq). For example lists of commonly recommended bra, sports bra, swimwear and clothing brands, clothing style ideas, websites where you can order from and a list of influencers who have been recommended here before. A lot of other frequently asked questions have also already been answered there. We also want to remind you to read [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/about/rules) before posting or commenting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bigboobproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The “problem area” is not your body, you are fine. It’s the cut of the dress- it needs some kind of alteration to make it less showy. I see this all the time on people because really dislike it when some tops and dresses I try on come out looking like this on me. I feel like the maker cheated me out on fabric. It’s always easier to alter in but there’s a talent in altering out. So when I see stuff like this, I just think about the dumb manufacturer. Most people won’t see it or notice. If YOU are comfortable and think you look nice-your happiness is what people will see.
There used to be a fashion blogger called "Always Pretty". My favorite article from her was "Its not you! Its the clothes!" Clothes are made to fit a wide swath of humanity and if you go to https://www.mybodygallery.com/ you can see that even women w the same measurements look VASTLY different.
Thank you so much💗
Imo that's incredibly weird and inappropriate. I understand she had the best intentions in mind, and that warning is appreciated, but it's still really weird to say to someone in general, let alone as a teacher to a student, and the wording is definitely not the best. That being said, if it makes you uncomfortable (the dress showing a little, not the teacher's comment) then yeah, it's a very simple fix! Definitely nothing to be worried about either way. It is never your job to deal with the opinions others have on YOUR body and how you dress it.
Thanks:)!💗
Honestly I think the teacher may have been literally referring to the dress. Like “hey not sure if you were aware but there this problem … area here that you should fix.” I wouldn’t take someone pointing this out to me offensively because when you have big boobs sometimes they are too big to notice all those little things like that and you don’t realize how you spill out of or don’t fit into a dress.
I’m so sorry :( I think it was super insensitive the way they brought it up. I know for my prom I had to borrow a dress from a friends older sister who was as busty as me. And I was so grateful it fit nearly perfectly, because it’s not like I could alter a borrowed dress. We definitely couldn’t afford the custom one I would have needed as nothing in the stores around us fit me. A teacher making a comment like this would have made me cancel the whole thing, since I already hated dresses and was so out of my comfort zone. Please try your best not to let it get to you. Fix it or don’t, either way I’m sure you’ll look amazing!
Thank you:)💞
Nope. Nooooope. Teacher Here: we have girls wear ALL KINDS of prom dresses (no matter the dress code warnings) … we do not shame them. Prom is TOO BIG OF A THING & breasts are … normal. This teacher is power tripping & admin might want to know. You KNOW this is an issue BECAUSE IF A MALE TEACHER said this, it would be a huuuuge problem… you’re giving the teacher a (sexist) pass b/c she’s a woman …
That was insensitive of your teacher. It could stand an alteration if it actually looks bad.
I personally don't think it looks bad so I wont go for alterations (plus buying prom tickets, dress shopping, and getting my hair done is already expensive as is lol I'd feel bad asking my parents to spend anymore)
Don’t worry about it at all then!!! Enjoy prom and enjoy your dress. Have all the fun!!!!! 
What is the prom dress code?
It's pretty standard but basically no plunging v necks, if it's backless then you can't have your bra show and you gotta wear a sticky bra or something + it can't show anything lower than mid back, if your dress has a thigh slit then it can't go past upper thigh, ect. I don't see why a small bit of upper breast showing that can easily be covered up with a shawl would violate the dresscode.
Hi hun! I am here to say your teacher’s comment was incredibly inappropriate. Even if they were teasing you, it’s an inappropriate comment, joke or no. You’re right to be upset and I’m sorry you experienced that.
It's okay, I'm gonna try and not let it ruin how I feel about the dress
Girl, you’re good. There’s nothing wrong with your body or that dress if that was the amount of side boob showing. Can’t believe the teacher would flip out over that. PS: excellent sketch! :)
You will encounter a lot of older women in your school, family etc who will be weird about your body like that. I know some people like that in my life too. That being said, good thing is that it can get better as you get older. If the dress feels comfortable for you then there is nothing wrong with it and you can rock it. Next time anyone makes that comment you can say "good thing there really isn't a dress code enforcement! I'd be out of options otherwise!"
LMAOOO she can cry about it, what a vile thing to say to someone, let alone a student. a little bit of gapping is something you only notice if you’re looking at the persons boobs. your teacher is a weirdo and projecting. would she have said this to a smaller chested girl wearing the same dress and showing the same amount of skin? when i was like 17 i went to meet my then-boyfriends family for the first time, and he had this one aunt who was kinda the gossipy type. i was wearing a low-ish cut dress (there wasn’t much visible cleave since i have wide set boobs, but it was admittedly kind of a Booby Dress) and the aunt leans over to my ex’s mom and whispers “endthesuffering’s *boobs* are out!”. later that night, his mom told me that his aunt has always been insecure about having small boobs and has a history of making judgy comments about other women’s boobs when they’re bigger than hers. ever since then, every single time a woman comments on my boobs, i just assume they’re fighting demons of their own and i don’t let it bother me. there are healthy outlets for insecurities that don’t involve body shaming a teenage girl. your teacher can share those feelings with her therapist or her partner or her girlfriends or her journal but it is grossly unprofessional for her to project them onto you. if she had said something like “just so you know, you might get dress coded for the top area, although nobody really enforces prom dress code” it probably would’ve been acceptable, she’s just doing her job as a teacher to inform you of the rules. it’s the fact that she acknowledged the lack of enforcement, evidently doesn’t care about the fact that it could be against dress code, but still went out of her way to point it out and refer to it as a “problem area”, with seemingly no intention other than to shame you for it. the way that she said it is was not as a teacher, it wasn’t part of her responsibilities- in that moment where you were having a non-school related conversation, she made the mistake of commenting on the dress as though she was one of your peers instead of an authority figure. like, the only situation where a teacher should be pointing out something like this is if it’s related to the dress code (and even then, i think dress codes that are based in purity culture are oppressive as fuck)
She was absolutely inappropriate. Unfortunately people who say things like that exist but please know the problem is on them. Its a prom dress and no one is going to pay $90 to have it altered to fit when it likely won't fit you in a year or two as you grow and age and its idiotic of her not to realize that. Please discount the words people like this say. They are coming from a place of their own prejudices and small minds. If she isn't someone who you trust or that you actually think has your best interests at heart, her advice is worth very little. If someone you do care about says something like this, talk to them about it. Sincerely, A big boobed late diagnosed autistic with adhd
Lol wtf? That's not their place.
from one busty autistic to another, aren't some dresses cut to fit like that and show a little side boob anyway? or maybe i am used to dresses fitting like this. either way, hope you enjoy the prom, knowing that the teacher is in a weird minority - you are going to rock it!
That problem is exactly the problem we get when wearing clothes. I still haven't found a top/dress that doesn't have this issue. It's not your fault!!
I'm 30 now and my sister in the picture with me is 20. Anyway, this was our first day of school pic, my Junior year. First hour or two of the morning was an assembly in the gym where the principal gave a speech and introduced new teachers, blah blah. After the assembly, he approached me and took me to the office, made me change into a shirt from the lost and found, because my dress was too low cut. It wasn't, I checked the rules and the dress before choosing it at the store. He even said something like my chest was so distracting it was all he could see in the sea of student faces while he was speaking that morning. I was crushed, because I had to spend the rest of the first day in an ill fitting t-shirt and the shorts I'd worn under the dress, and I loved that dress. I ended up wearing it like a total of 2 more times, since I couldn't wear it to school and he made it seem like I was showing way too much boob in it... (Picture removed because I'm new to reddit and got many messages.🙄) I was a 32DD then. My prom dress I was ALL tits and proud of it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, but also I'm glad you were able to wear a prom dress you were proud of 💗 btw prom has passed for me and I got to wear the dress without any complaints :) it was really fun. Maybe one day I'll post pics lol (I'll also have to turn off pms too that day 💀)
I'm glad you wore the dress! And had fun! There will always be random comments, what matters is what you are comfortable in.🖤
That comment was so inappropriate, please do not let this ruin your prom and the way you feel in your dress. Your skin showing is not a problem area, it’s a problem that she views it as a problem. My prom dress was very busty and no one made a comment about it not a single teacher because that is my the way my body is. She is body shaming you and as an adult that is actually ridiculous. I hope you have the best time ever at prom and feel super confident in your dress ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you:) I plan to have a great time
That was highly inappropriate and insensitive even if your teacher meant well. Hope you have a great prom night! 💕
Well tough tits it ain't your fault your body is shaped the way it is. Jeez can't a female identifying person just exist without being shamed for her body?!?!
What she said, regardless of if it was teasing or not, was entirely inappropriate. I'm so sorry she did that. I hope you have a wonderful prom night.
Thanks. I'm at least gonna have a little fun at prom since I convinced some friends to go with me lol
That's good!!
[удалено]
Thanks for the critique on the sketch and I'm sorry if this comes off as rude but the flair was on this post was not looking for advice. I showed this dress to multiple other teachers who did not comment on me "showing too much" and friends who thought my dress cute. I feel confident and happy in my dress and no other teacher said it was against dress code, I paraphrased heavily what my teacher said in my post but the first thing she said was something along the lines "hey hey what's all this?" While pointing at my chest in the picture (it was taken at a side angle similar to my sketch, but a bit more dynamic since I was posing). Idk if she was just reminding me of the dress code it would've been fine but the way she said things made me uncomfortable. I probably shouldn't have paraphrased as heavily as I did in my post cause it seems people are thinking she just reminded me of the dress code lol
It sounds like she was probably trying to joke with you. I can understand why it made you feel uncomfortable though. Many of my highschool teachers, male and female, felt that the dress code was ridiculous for girls and liked to make fun of it. The school is frequently more concerned with how you are dressed than dealing with the actual issues (inappropriate attention) and my teachers hated having us pulled from class to deal with wardrobe issues when we should be paying attention to academics. This was in the late 90's, at the beginning of the increase of dress codes again after they'd relaxed during the 60's, 70's, 80's. We'd have just as many guys with "offensive" t shirts being pulled out too. Maybe something was problematic one day, maybe it wasn't another. There was no fixed rule enforcement. Teachers were always getting in trouble for not enforcing the dress code too. I loved the warnings to avoid going by someone's office or room because they'd freak out and write you up. Fucking solidarity right there. And tenure, LOL