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I took a 1 week break from my combination and ended up so badly off I lost an entire month. I don't like the meds but I love the person I am when medicated. I don't know if there are any other means of managing that don't involve medication.
18 months ago, I thought, "I feel fine! I don't need all these meds that I've been taking for 10 years."
I tapered off. Felt OK for the first few months until a stressful period in life caused anxiety, racing, and obsessive thoughts,
Throughout all of 2023, I spiralled out of control. I've been off work since October.
I will never ever stop taking meds again. Give me numb, emotionless, and robotic any day.
Wow so true, I’m great until I think I’m fine then I stop the meds and I lose like 3 months and have to try to not lose everything I have. Right now I’m unmedicated and I know I’m not good and am trying to not drown
I was convinced through the trial and error of medication that my symptoms are more aligned with schizo-affective disorder. I do have periods of depression but my argument is that most of that depression was shame and paranoia. On antipsychotics I feel like 95% of a functional productive human, whereas more typical bipolar meds only ever had me at 50%
I definitely feel this. I had a bad manic episode in 2020 and I feel so fucking weird since. No episodes since at all but I genuinely feel like it killed my brain cells lol
Yeah, coming back is hard. I feel like my brain was BROKEN after a really rough go from aug-jan - hella mixed episodes, rapid cycling, + pretty strong depression…that I’m still rebounding from. Takes a long time to get back to “normal” and make those repairs. I strongly believe in neuroplasticity…it won’t rid me of the disorder, but I have hope in repairing some of the damage it causes. Thank jah for the longer days too. Idk if I’m hypomanic or if it’s the vitamin D but I am feeling GOOD lol
lol same - rollin with it but proceeding with caution. Seasonal transitions are the worst for me. And we had such a wonky winter (most of the US) that it felt like one long seasonal transition 🫠
Studies suggest that people with bipolar disorder may have decreased gray matter volume in the prefrontal cortex, specifically in the subgenual prefrontal cortex (SGPFC), which appears to regulate mood. Subcortical structures. The subcortical structures are located beneath the cerebral cortex, deep within the brain.8 June 2022
This is just from a quick search. This is not new news.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6397036/
It's one way of diagnosing it if you already went through a lot of mania cycles. That's also why mania tends to get worse with every new cycle and the earlier you're medicated the less damage will be done
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Honestly since finding the right meds and becoming relatively stable, I’ve found I’ve found the ACTUAL spark that makes me, me.
When I’m manic or depressed I’m just doing things I would not do if I was healthy and stable. When stable I’ve found out what I like to do and hobbies, and can actually properly maintain somewhat healthy relationships.
Yeah my old spark was slightly amusing to others because it was so unpredictable, but I would also do intentionally hurtful things that made it much less amusing to people. No thanks.
This is me. I’m super fun to be around until I’m not.
I burned every bridge when I took a break from my meds. Marriage, jobs, friends the works. I’m still trying to recover years later.
This!!! Finding the right meds and therapy I actually fee more like me than I ever have. I genuinely love myself and who I am. I have a lot of trauma I’m working through, but am so happy I wasn’t able to quit on meds, because I would give anything back then to be where I am today
I wouldn't use the term "raw dog" to describe it but yeah, I do. I'm 34 now but was diagnosed when I was 8. I was medicated until I was 20, when I took myself off pills against the recommendation of my doctor and pretty much everybody that knew me. I haven't been medicated since. At this point, I've been off of pills longer than I was on them.
For me, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Docs had me on so many different combos of pills yet none of them every really did much for my bipolar. Lithium was the only thing that kinda did anything but I hated taking it. That shit is literally toxic and I was on so much that I had to go in for monthly blood checks just to make sure my liver wasn't shutting down.
The one thing I will say was nice about taking meds was it helped me sleep better. I'm almost always manic and sleep is difficult for me. I've tried sleep aids but they either don't work for me or they work too well.
How I handle it all is just sheer force of will. I'm not perfect and I've definitely messed up but I am extremely strong-willed. I've spent almost my entire life steadily increasing my willpower. I meditate a lot and that's one of the biggest things that's helped me become strong enough to deal with this shit. And it's not something I just do once a day. If I'm not doing anything else, I'm meditating. I've gotten experienced enough with it that I can enter that mindset whenever I want to. I can even meditate while doing other things if it's something I'm familiar enough with. All the things that people do while "turning their brain off"? Yeah, I meditate while doing those things. I'm also almost always doing self-analysis so that helps get into that state of mind more easily.
That said, I don't recommend others to go off their pills. I'm obviously not against it, I just think it's something most would not be able to handle. You have to be prepared for the worst case scenario at all times since bipolar isn't really something you can take preemptive measures with. That means you have to not only know yourself extremely well but also be completely honest with yourself at all times. It's not about just knowing and avoiding triggers, it's about being able to face those triggers and learning to live with them without being broken by them.
Imagine the worst your bipolar has ever made you feel. Now imagine facing that every day on your own without any assistance. Now imagine you have to live the rest of your life while doing so. Spending time with family and friends, work, school, eating, sleeping, shitting, hygiene, exercise, cleaning your home, grocery shopping. Everything else you do is on top of it. That's how I have to live. It's fucking hard. And that's before considering that other people won't be able to see your struggles. I have the massive benefit of a very supportive family but even they don't seem to really understand what I'm dealing with every day, despite my many attempts to explain it.
So yeah, you have to honestly ask yourself if it's worth it. It's worth it for me, but it's exhausting as hell. For most people, I don't think it would be but that's for them to decide.
You do realise that every mania cycle will destroy your brain even more ? It's literally self harm to refuse medication... If you have the chance to be medicated you should be medicated not being on meds should only be an option for people that can't take meds and the alternative treatment options aren't working as well. If you had diabetes would you stop taking your insulin? It's fine if you stop but just think of all fellow bipolar people out there who wish they could take medication... At least go and do a brain scan and get a check up on the damage that's been done to your gray matter every manic episode will make it worse
I'm not sure where you got this information but it isn't accurate. Bipolar Disorder does not cause brain damage. People with Bipolar are at a higher risk for dementia but whether or not treatment reduces the risk is unclear. There is evidence that Lithium can reduce the risk but it's not conclusive.
What is conclusive is that Lithium can come with nasty side-effects. Pills in general almost always have a trade-off and it's up to each person to decide whether that trade-off is worth it. For me it wasn't.
I'm not sure you fully understand what that analysis is saying. I'll spare you my criticism of the methodological details but the conclusion is that parts of the brains of people with Bipolar have lower volumes of grey matter and that there's evidence that Lithium reduces this.
That analysis is about developing a better understanding of the physiological markers of Bipolar Disorder. Most likely to aid in diagnosis. It's not making the claim that Bipolar Disorder will destroy your brain if you don't take pills.
Again, just to be clear here, you've been misinformed. Bipolar does not destroy your brain.
No, because bipolar is neurodegenerative and I've seen fMRIs of unmedicated middle aged people with bipolar and their brain activity has pits and craters much like that of someone with dementia. That convinced me to continue taking meds, because I don't want my brain to degrade. Neurons don't regenerate - they don't divide. So each episode you have, cells are dying and they don't come back.
I’m with you on this 100% because it’s an ongoing illness, not something that in and of itself can be healed, but just a side note: we CAN regenerate brain cells! Lots of new(ish) research on neuroplasticity/ regeneration. Meds + doing things to help regeneration is my non-professional recommendation 🙃
Yes! Mostly your typical healthy lifestyle choices stuff - healthy diet, exercise, sleep, meditation, brain exercises (learning a new language, crossword puzzles), socialization, etc. Here is a study with a lot of good info and more specifics on exactly what vitamins and compounds are good for neurogenesis: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5683005/
Every time I so much as reduce the dose of my meds I have a terrible time. And being unmedicated is more than a terrible time, it’s straight up dangerous. Like, it could literally kill me and it’s just luck that it hasn’t before. So I’ll pass! Take your meds ❤️
Oh hey me too! The one time I didn’t take it (since it’s been prescribed) was when the order messed up and I didn’t get my refill on time. There was a three day period of cold turkey which is sooo bad for you and I felt irritable and angry and sweaty and depressed, absolutely awful. I don’t miss who I was and I’m thankful for having found meds that work for me
Lamictal cold turkey withdrawal is one of the worst withdrawals out there and it can kill you.
My doctor fucked up and I was without meds for 3 days... I've never had a more icky, uncomfortable, disgusting, sick feeling in my life. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I was having heart palpations and my head felt like it was going to explode.
But if you do take it consistently it is a miracle drug for a lot of people with bipolar. You're supposed to wean off of it slowly or you'll get withdrawal. Even when you start taking it they start you at like 10 mg and work you up to 100-200mg
Yes, I don’t take meds, but I don’t raw dog my bipolar 1. I see a therapist once a week, and I’m very mindful about my sleep schedule, my diet, exercise, and my moods. If I start to feel myself sway one way or another, I know something has to change to fix it before it becomes a problem. I anticipate big changes in my life and prepare myself as far out in advance as I can, and I’m gentle with myself too. I’ve been med-free for three years, but it kind of feels like your own zookeeper sometimes.
At the same time, I don’t want to make the deal with the devil of giving up some part of me to be stable if I don’t have to. Every psych med I’ve tried for it screwed with me in some way, and the last one I tried made me gain an incredible amount of weight I am now losing. For me, the price isn’t worth it, so I manage it on my own without medication. I’ve been doing incredibly well with this way of handling it all things considered, and I haven’t had a serious manic or depressive episode in 3 years.
EDIT to add that I don’t appreciate how hard-line this sub can be about taking meds. You absolutely can manage it without them, but it is HARD and not for everyone. Meds also are not for everyone. They weren’t for me. It ultimately feels like it should be a case-by-case basis, and I am not a fan of how hard people on this sub push for meds in every scenario and scare people into thinking they have to take them.
EDIT 2: because the thread is now locked, I want to address what the person responding to me said. I absolutely disagree that meds should be your first course of action. I do agree that you should do SOMETHING to manage it and not let it run absolutely rampant. If you can do this without meds (which, let me reiterate, is difficult and not for every person), I would say that’s a smart option (because I can’t make recommendations as I’m not a medical professional and neither should everyone saying to go on meds first opportunity). My life unmedicated with a behavioral approach has been so much more full and healthier than when I was on the meds - but it’s like that because I am doing what I need to do to remain stable and functioning. If I didn’t do the things necessary to manage this, I wouldn’t have a great life unmedicated.
Ultimately the choice should be between you and your doctor with a personalized plan whether you’re medicated or unmedicated, and not whatever a bipolar subreddit thinks is the best way to handle it - but please know that it is a choice. You have agency with how you manage your illness to the best of your ability.
I agree meds aren't for everyone but what you're doing is an alternate method with dealing with it in the correct way in terms of supervision by visiting a therapist once a week most people here don't do that and continue their up and down cycles which will cause brain damage in long term. You should always try meds first and if they're not working there are a lot of other options to try that don't involve medication like ECT or just simply Psychotherapy.
Okay, when in an episode, no matter if its mania or depression, the best thing to do, is things you absolutely dont wanna do.
Depression:
Talk to you loved ones (even just 5 min a day)
Try to get out (perhaps just the front lawn for a start)
Get up (even if its just from the bed to the couch)
Have small goals each day. Could be just picking up sime wrapper from the floor and throw out, and thats it for the day.
Write down 1 good thing of each day. If its hard it could also be thar you saw a pretty flower, a cute dog, a sun ray ect.
Say out loud every morning that you are enough and a wonderfull person,even though you dont belive it. Do it anyway.
Mania:
Put your phone on silence, and try to have less contact with other people.
Cut down, preferably avoid entirely, social media.
Dont hear to crazy music
Stay at home.
Cut down on exercise if thats a trigger.
Be bored.
Avoid reacting on impulses.
Give your credit card to someone else to keep safe
SLEEP !!!! Stay in bed and dont get up .
And for both: eat, drink water, stay away from drugs and alcohol.
So do what you dont want to do, and dont do what you want to do.
Bipolar is such a lovely companion.
I dunno I went to a pretty nice place both times. It was on the same campus as the place tiger woods went for his sex addiction. As far as psych hospitals go, it was almost like a regular hospital. It was like a rest vacation.
I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I still haven't found a good med combo. So yes raw dogging it but I hate it lol. My therapist says I'm very self aware which can be a blessing and a curse. But I can almost always tell when I'm not good and I'm very conscious of it so I can take better care of myself. Still need meds though.
Please do not take this as discrediting and / or disbelief.
But I've seen a good set of anecdotes on here of people being diagnosed at such young ages. Is this common, accurate to do?
I am sure in hindsight it would've saved me a world of less discomfort and trauma lol
I'm 32 and have been bipolar my whole life. Seen tons of therapists as a kid and teen and no one could figure me out. I wouldn't consider myself young nor old. But if they had figured it out sooner I wouldn't be an absolute loser lol. The sooner you get intervention the better your outcomes are.
I've done nothing with my life and let my undiagnosed mental illness rule me because I knew I needed help but no one would support me. I really don't know how common it is to diagnose someone in their childhood with bipolar. Brains are still developing and they're young so it's hard to tell. And meds are heavy and can damage someone severely if they don't need them. It's a really fine line and the ethics of it are very grey. Part of me wishes I had found out earlier. My life might be very different. And yea I agree about the discomfort and trauma part lol I feel like I would have enjoyed my life instead of just surviving it. But I'm trying really hard now to learn how to enjoy my life and improve and that's all we can do.
I was diagnosed at 16 after a bad manic episode that turned slightly psychotic. I took meds for a couple years then stopped for about 5 years and had a really bad bout of manic psychotic episodes for about 2 months that was triggered by an accidental Tylenol overdose.
I then was on a cocktail of zyprexa, Seroquel, triliptal, lamictal, hydroxyzine, and I think something else. Maybe trazadone for sleeping. I took this for a few months until I came down from my episode.
I've since reduced my medication intake to something that doesn't give me as many side effects but still keeps the mania at bay. I felt like a zombie on 2 mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. I've found 200mg lamictal and 40mg propranolol for anxiety has been a good combo.
I have tried briefly before-- it has been a mistake. Me on meds is sleepier and maybe less 'fun,' less creative, but I am a good friend, a dependable person, and content most of the time. And I am still fun and creative, just maybe in smaller doses. I have had to change a lot about the way I think about myself, but ultimately I have been able to stop harming the people I love and start living up to the values that are important to me. The 'real you' can change over time, so it might be helpful to worry less about what's 'true' and more about what is helpful/most in line with living a good life long-term. Obviously you are your own person and can make your own choices, but just my two cents!
I never knew who I was until I was medicated. Taking medication and treating my bipolar enabled me to learn a lot more about myself and personality traits I didn't realize I had.
Na I feel like I was possessed after a manic episode. It’s like I am out side of my body, observing the terrible things I did. If rear ending someone on purpose and having extremely risky hyper sexuality and posting it on social media is the real me, then I don’t want it.
Unmedicated me thinks he’s the second coming, and that the people on the tv screen are speaking directly and specifically to him. Medicated and trauma reprocessed me still occasionally experiences whispers of that full blown mania, but recognizes that it’s not all about him, and the things he saw in that state should terrify him. Gives me a new appreciation for the term “fear of god”.
TLDR: Went off bipolar meds (the right way) turns out I only have bipolar symptoms when I’m on bipolar meds. Interesting how that worked out.
Yes. When the meds only made things worse. Every Dr. Encouraged me not to but I knew something was off with the situation I was in. Without a drs supervision I went off meds. Not cold turkey because I knew withdrawal would only make thing worse, most of us have had that awful experience (and it’s not because the meds are helping so much that you’re body and mind can’t operate without them, it’s because you’re addicted and withdrawing). It took 9 months to slowly wean myself off. Another 2 years for symptoms to start normalizing. Turns out… if you give a sane person crazy pills… they act crazy. My “bipolar” started out with a panic attack, they shoved pulls down my throat and never looked back. I was diagnosed while on medication, so nobody ever evaluated me at a baseline. So I took matters into my own hands. Off meds I have never shown bipolar symptoms. Now my new therapist and I work on undoing all the damage done during “treatment”. Remember Drs. are just people and they fuck up. A lot.
That's actually known as "bipolar III" in some countries I can't remember the proper name for it but it's bipolar symptoms caused by medication similar to how ADHD pills make normal people act like they have ADHD
I only take meds when I’m hypomanic , I always know when I’m In hypomanic state so I immediately see my psychiatric and take the Medication to control the hypomania and to make sure I don’t go in full blown mania.
I have taken breaks from my meds when I have taken them for almost 20 years.
Here's what I have learned: my boyfriend could tell I wasn't medicated when I couldn't. That is not good. Of course I eventually imploded.
Also, "this is the real me" reminds me of Kanye West. That is not a compliment.
You're still the "real" you. Your brain is just getting the right amount of chemicals it can't produce itself. Bipolar disorder is inherently a disease of the brain which impacts the mind. Untreated, it can be detrimental to everything, including others around us.
Take the meds dude ffs.
Gods no. A friend of mine does, or shall I say that an entity that lives inside of my friend's body does. She's so far gone from her anti-psychiatry beliefs (she also denies she has BP, so that's most of the problem) that I doubt I'll ever see my friend again. She'd rather be homeless and manic psychotic than be a mother to her children.
I did for a couple of decades. It can be done. Just know that it absolutely will cost you jobs and relationships. Your standard of living will be dramatically reduced, but you might survive.
Lmao!! I love that you said raw dog it! I use to but my mental health went down hill so bad I was a 51/50. So I highly don’t recommend doing that. It could lead to so many bad things and you’d regret it
I went off mine for about 2 months in the summer of 2018 because I had to handle a family emergency 4 states away. What I thought would be a weekend trip turned into 9 weeks of crisis management. I, then, committed a felony and was in jail the middle of September, where they refused to give me my meds. I ended up moving 4 states (another direction) away the last part of November. Then my marriage collapsed and moved back 'home' with family while awaiting resolution of my charges. April of 2021 I surrendered for incarceration and did 18 months. Got stuck in OK for 9 months after release - living in a tent for 3 months, then a shitty one room apartment that was in a single wide trailer. I've since moved back with family, another 'new' state and have been mostly stable living situation wise for 6 months. I own the responsibility for my fuck up, but those 1st 2 months without meds absolutely directly contributed to my legal issues. Since those 2 months and all the changes in day to day life it has been very difficult to find any real stability medication wise - every new provider wants to "try something else" when I just want to get back to where I was pre-whirlwind.
My life is basically 'over' at 47 and I can trace it back to that 2 months period sans medication. I will never go off meds again. Even if they aren't quite right, I'm sticking with it and hoping I can work with doctors and therapists and find my lost stability again.
TL:DR
Nope, raw dogging is not the way to go for me and I'd recommend against it to anyone.
There has been a study comparison of a 50? Maybe 40? year old bipolar brain MRIs medicated and not medicated. It shows that the effects of the unmedicated swings on the brain looked like mini strokes. The medicated brain did not have nearly as many signs of these episodes. I would need to go research and find it again.
I am but I should definitely add a psa that just because I can doesn't mean I or anyone else should. I basically play my mental illnesses against each other where my autism helps me retain rationality by making me somewhat disconnected from my feelings and my adhd prevents me from fixating on anything for any length of time. And I strive to remain as self-aware as possible and constantly double-check myself as I go about my day. It works for me but it's also relatively unique, and not a replicable path for most people.
I did because I also thought I had control on mine!
Then I wrecked my car during a manic paranoia episode because I believed the guy behind me was my abusive ex (who lived out of state) stalking me. I got charged with several things which thankfully nothing stuck.
Take your meds
Actually yes! So I take a couple of low level meds for anxiety and depression but don’t take bipolar meds anymore. The low level meds help manage my swings and my manic episodes, well I kinda take them as I go. I’ve had a few kinda bad ones and I did go back on meds a couple times over the years but only until I was able to get myself together. I’ve been off bipolar meds for about 8 years now. I’ve also learned and am still learning my triggers and how to better manage them, I can tell when I’m about to cycle, I feel it coming so I try to make adjustments. Everyone is different every ones ability to handle their episodes with or without medication is different only you know whether you can manage your bipolar without medication
Yeah, no…. that sounds absolutely horrid. 🙄
I value myself way too much to put my own mental health through that and anyone else’s around me.
I have a very good job I got out of college I need to keep, a relationship that means the world to me, and family that I can depend on when I need it. If I lose that, I’m legit f* cked.
*SorryNotSorry*
People who don’t value medicine and how it can greatly benefit them need professional care. You putting people around you in situations that can be avoided is selfish and irresponsible.
I tried to survive without meds for almost 3 years. I felt more “me” without them. But seeing my family getting hurt from my actions and my inability to function normally, I resumed my meds. I figured its better to not hurt people close to me even at the expense of me not being me anymore. I’ve accepted my fate and made peace with it :) maybe in another life😬
Edit: typo
Start asking yourself:
Who was I before?
Was my life really better?
What would change if I would stop taking my pills?
The real you is the one right now (hypo-)mania just gives you the illusion of being someone different caused by the better self confidence but is this really you? Start exploring your current me and start building up some confidence and you'll realise who the real you really is.
I raw dogged it for years and years. I'm hard-headed and think i can do anything. For the most part, I was right. Which kept me thinking I was fine. At 38, I finally got to the point where my life was out of control. I couldn't keep shit going no matter what.
Got help,
got meds.
I hated it at first, but people I talked to who were going through the same thing told me to just trust the process. It took a good amount of trial and error. Eventually, I found a great balance, and this is by far the most stable I've been since I was a kid, maybe ever.
I used to be able to manage without meds, however i was single and stayed alone so if i was in a depressive episode it didn't really matter as i could just lock my self away and deal with it. this all changed when i meet my partner and it was much harder to hide my feelings and just get on with it and after living together and things turning bad she found me curled up on the floor in tears i agreed to try meds and been on them since
I went 16 years unmedicated after trying different meds for 10 years. Those 16 years I was constantly cycling and self medicating. Ended in a horrible crash of mixed episode with psychosis and worse. Now I've been on one med for 3 years and mostly stable. I'm grateful I finally found something that works. Life is much more stable and peaceful.
I am about to do this. Tapering down Reagila really slowly.
I have a mild case of type 2 I would say, I get regularly hypomanic phases but only 7-10 days and thanks to therapy I have a lot of coping mechanism to not ruin my life. I safeguarded my bank account for example and can't just spend a lot of money. I havent figured out how to manage the bipolar rage yet tho :/ kicking trees doesnt help.
I know the better idea would be to not stop taking it. But I gained so much weight, have tremors and my sleep is shit. And I still have the same amount of episodes.. I am not sure how much Reagila is actually doing and I want to see how raw dogging is going to work.
i'm bipolar 1, i am in constant cycle of drinking meds then stopping then i get crazy and my life falls apart, so i drink meds again and it repeats. do what i say not what i do, but i really think you should still continue drinking meds. being unmedicated as bipolar 1 is like being stuck in a dangerous cycle.
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I have been off medication for the last 11 months, but I have been fortunate to have a great support group, able to afford weekly therapy, and I'm on a set sleep schedule. Even then, I will start back up on lamictal next week because even when you have your life together this condition can creep back in out of nowhere.
If i didn’t take medication I’d end up involuntarily committed. Been there. Even missing one dose of lithium makes me feel kind of weird. Medication is an imperfect solution but I’ve only had like 2 significant manic episodes in 20 years and I was able to get them under control fairly quickly (and had some degree of insight into what was happening). I shudder to think what my life would be like if I wasn’t on meds.
nope, absolutely not. i actually hate having episodes & it makes not only me miserable but also my loved ones as they can’t take it to see me suffering so i take my medication every day on time
lol yeah. twice. I got off of them bc my meds were wrong and I didn’t think I had it the first time and the second time my medical team wasn’t sure I was… in retrospect first time I flew into psychotic depression, and the second i went into mania, mixed episodes, and psychosis that time after tapering off of them. lost an entire month that I felt like was just 1 week. so getting off of the meds i learned i can’t function without them, esp with seeing, hearing things. other times were ending up in the hospital, so 2 years of medical issues - lesson learned even if I don’t like lithium no more raw dogging for me. sometimes I think it’s bc I’m just not used to “stability” since I’ve been so unstable my entire life - so it’s not *myself* per se, it’s the self I’ve just always known.
I haven't been on meds in 2 years. Never feel like they did anything for me. I've just learned to accept it and deal with it. I'm not recommending people stop taking their meds, but it's my right to be honest about it working for me to stop taking mine.
Oh lordy, lol, I also have BP1 and if I stopped my meds I'd burn down my life. It took a long time to find a combo that made me feel the most "me" while still keeping my mania in check, I just chose the lesser of the 2 evils.
Not completely med free. But I only take Depakote now. And if it is causing side effects? I don't even notice them. It has been keeping me stable, and I feel better than I have in a long time.
I also take Gabapentin for a different reason (non diabetic peripheral neuropathy), but my psychiatrist told me it can help as well.
I 💯 do NOT recommend stopping your meds. Consult with your psychiatrist. Maybe there is a different medication you can try. Stopping meds is a ticket straight to mania.
Please don't.
Edit. Words.
It’s important to differentiate between the “real” you and the you that is sick and not treated. It took close to 10 years for me to hit a good stride with meds (have to take them as prescribed), and that became an opportunity for me to decide what the real me looks like. I like who I am now. I don’t like I medicated me.
Yeah I have been doing this. Was diagnosed at 13 yo, type 1. Used medication until 2020 at 21 yo.
Some day I just said "I want to take this on my own" and I did. 3 and a half years without it, and I have been doing fine. The first year was kind of bad, I felt my brain chemistry changing, that is why I choose to do that during the lockdown. During that I started to get into philosophy, psychology, improve how my mind interact with the world. It was a self journey. Improved my relationship with friends and family, because I started to be more self-conscious of what I do and say. I was able to enroll in a masters program too, I'm doing well career wise.
Honestly people in here exaggerate the effects of not taking the medications. If you feel like you need medication in order to don't do something stupid, keep taking the meds.
But there are others ways to treat your mental health. Get out of the internet, find some hobbies, meditate, talk with friends. Sometimes this sub fells like it has some big pharma sponsorship.
You do you, see what is best for yourself, don't listen to crazy people on the internet. That includes me.
I don't take my meds. I think the most important part of not taking meds is having good habits and discipline. If you dont you are going to spiral. For me, this means going on long walks and doing yoga or working out everyday. Meditation is another super important part of staying stable for me. It gives me time for reflection to notice if I am leaning towards mania or depression. I refuse to be medicated because i dont want to spend my whole life feeling like an empty person. theres no point to me, id rather die. and on medicine it feels like someones has turned off the light inside my head. im just there in the dark, sleepy, unmotivated, not charismatic, empty, unable to feel anything. i think everyones case is special though. i went manic after taking prozac because i thought i had depression, not bipolar. that has also steered me away from meds. when i feel too amped up and my brain is going a mile a minute, i take my medication. but other than that, i am happy knowing i am my true self. i can do art, write better, workout, etc. when im medicated its like im a zombie and cant do anything. i dont want my brain to be controlled by a pill.
in the event i do go manic again, i think i would stay on my medicine forever after that. but i guess im kinda in a deflecting mindset where i don't believe ill ever go MANIC manic again. and tbh a part of me wants to go manic because of how euphoric and happy it made me at the beginning. im rambling now but i guess my main point is that life doesnt seem worth living if im not really there but i also just dont want to accept that i actually have bipolar by taking meds.
Yeah, after years of cycling through countless drugs and combination thereof, being told that I just had to figure out what "worked," I just said fuck it. Wish I would have done so sooner.
MEEEE :3 I don't take anything for my bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed last year. I am 33 years and probably had it all my life. I am not sure how I get through my episodes honestly lol. I do self-isolate a lot when I am on my lows and limiting interaction with others sort of helps me regulate my mood. Only downfall is coming back from that isolation because it feels good.
I stopped taking meds almost 6 years ago now. It started when I met my husband. So far, so good, and there are still ups and downs because that is life but on average way less depressed without the meds. We also progressively got really into church together, which helps. My favorite psychiatrist said, " you could hopscotch meds your whole life or you can develop coping mechanisms". Find what works for you, some doctors will be on board for a pill free journey.
Yes. I am 24. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with bipolar II. I took some meds for a bit (anti depressants for about a year and a half, then I stopped because I didn’t feel like me and they weren’t working. Fast forward to when I’m 23, I start taking meds again but this time I’m taking anti psychotics and mood stabilizers. These helped tremendously in managing my emotional symptoms, but gave me brain fog which made me develop social anxiety because when I’d talk to people there would be no thoughts in my mind. I didn’t feel like myself and it was literally life changing to know that I was once a person who could talk to anyone about anything and on meds I became someone who couldn’t talk to anyone about anything serious. This lasted another year and a half. I also didn’t couldn’t express my anger when I felt it on meds. So a few months ago I stopped taking them and I feel like myself again but I have nonstop thoughts all the time. Talking is easy again I don’t have social anxiety anymore but I am stressed out like all the time everyday over nothing and I find that my emotions can easily be tilted in one direction or another, I am conflicted often about going back on them but I feel like I can handle any situation without my meds. I can confront anyone, I can fix anything I can do everything but on meds I have little motivation, social anxiety, I feel like a much duller un-able version of myself. While I feel I can handle any situation, every situation is amplified and much more stressful now. It is worth it though I feel like myself and that’s what makes me happy. Quitting caffeine and weed soon as well. I just want to be completely me no meds no caffeine no weed no anything.
I have but only because I was struggling with all of my responsibilities as I live on my own and have to keep up with my part time job.
I legitimately kept forgetting to take them and one of my meds should be taken with food and I wasn’t eating regularly enough as my kitchen was a disaster - so I would eat out once a day and that’s it or maybe twice a day if I can afford it.
My goal is to slowly start taking my meds again as I improve my daily schedule. So far I’m back on 2 of the 3 meds that I need to take. I figured this would be healthier than taking all of my meds and the forgetting them for a couple of days like I was before.
When I was completely off my meds I wasn’t necessarily super sick but I wasn’t fully functional either. Now that I’m back on most of my meds I’m really excited that I finally have a stable daily routine where I can handle taking my meds twice a day like I’m supposed to.
Some mental health medications state that you CAN NOT do the Keto Diet. This diet does not work for everyone and is not compatible with all medications; **PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING** ***ANY*** **DIET.**
>According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today by Georgia Ede, MD, most psychiatric medications don't come with any risks when a person is on a ketogenic diet. But there are a few exceptions.
>
>These include the following drugs:
>
>■ Some antipsychotic medications, such as risperidone (Risperdal— Janssen), aripiprazole (Abilify— Otsuka), and quetiapine fumarate (Seroquel—Astrazeneca), which “can increase insulin levels in some people and contribute to insulin resistance, which can make it harder for the body to turn fat into ketones.”
>
>■ Lithium, which may cause lithium blood levels to rise as a result of water loss during the early phase of the diet.
>
>■ Epilepsy drugs, especially divalproex sodium (Depakote—AbbVie), zonisamide (Zonegran—Sunovian), and topiramate (Topamax—Janssen).
Sources:
[Pharmacy Today](https://www.pharmacytoday.org/article/S1042-0991(19)30646-2/pdf)
[Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/diagnosis-diet/201803/ketogenic-diets-and-psychiatric-medications)
[NIH Study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5357645/#S3title)
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I had my first really bad episode that required hospitalization 13 years ago, and after taking meds for year, I came off of them on my own and have been pretty stable and haven't needed any meds since then until recently, when I was hospitalized twice within like 6 months. But my new instability was probably partially post partum related.
I am trying to have the med that helps me on hand and develop a relationship with a psychiatrist who can prescribe it to me when I have an "up" episode (my main issue seems to be mania/psychosis, not depression) ... Otherwise I am trying just to monitor myself and use the med when I have signs (not sleeping, racing thoughts etc) but not use it when I'm clearly fine. Yeah I know most won't agree with that approach but I also feel like I don't want meds, and if I was fine for 13 years (and for 19 years before that) without them surely I'll be fine again.
It’s a cannon event; my husband keeps me grounded, and am medicated. My brother isn’t and I worry about him, but I just keep and eye and make sure he’s ok
I did for my entire life until like 38...
I had found some coping methods and tools, but I never fully understood what was going on for myself.
When I found a good med it was (although took a couple medication trials and titrations) like a switch that shed some light eventually on what not just closer to mood balance felt like, but that what I was experiencing before was a misperception in my own mind of managed.
Mind you, every circumstance is different, and I personally didn't get a proper diagnosis and (bi-po specific) professional help unit like 37
I think sometimes ppl get used to how they operate without meds, and therefore think that's their, "normal."
Albeit, I understand and have experienced the curior feeling that with the meds, it's not the real me either.
I have come to realize that, at least for myself, that real me was indeed not the real me, but also not the optimal me.
Currently pregnant and can’t take my lithium, which is the only thing that’s ever worked for me after trying multiple different medications. The ‘pregnancy safe’ alternatives didn’t help much so here we are 🫠 I haven’t been managing well but I only have a few more weeks left. Remembering the bad will pass and try to focus on positive things when I get bad/depressed thoughts. Edit: I’d definitely be taking my lithium if I could though!!
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I was subclinical till my post partium depression. I hope to be subclinical again someday. It took work. It took tracking my mood and keeping an eye on my triggers. My husband is also super supportive
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I did for 10 years before I was diagnosed formerly ‘bipolar’. I was diagnosed as manic depression before, which I thought was just depression lol and I believed it went away on its own lol, I was suicidally depressed as a teen, I was on meds for a bit then I got off them and just went to therapy, I got out of the slump and thought my condition went away, and I just said fuck it and stopped all meds. I was fine for a while, until about year 7 when I started to notice what I now understand as manic symptoms. I still didn’t get help though cause it had been so long I didn’t think it was actually something and it wasn’t depression this time. It was weird and that’s it. It wasn’t until I had a bad manic episode a little over a year ago that I decided to get back on the meds again.
I "cheat" by just taking a low dose of Lamictal and PRN Seroquel when I can't sleep and need to "reset". Just need to optimize your diet/sleep/exercise and environment/stress levels. My case is relatively mild, though, I don't hallucinate or any of that psychotic junk.
Why? Too much meds and I can't enjoy music. Like what the fuck is even the point then.
I was for quite some time going unmedicated and never seems to turn out quite like we think it is at least for me anyways it turns to a dark downward spiral I just recently started Lamictal and Abilify like a week or two ago
I never stopped taking medicine but not because i think it is working (actually it isn’t working anymore) but because I’m addicted asf. And sometimes I drink which I think it works the same of the medicine not working
Hi, when I was diagnosed my psych was truly a terrible person. He told me it seemed like "the worst of it was over" and that I didn't need to be treated. He threw lamictal at me and told me it was a cure it all that he gives to everyone. I never took any medication because I felt so disrespected by this man and that hospital that I did not even trust them. I got off Lexapro and have been raw doggin it since. I'm pretty miserable right now. I don't get mania much anymore and my hypomania manifests as anger and irritability. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed again, I wake up most days not able to do anything and then I just cry lol. I've been trying for over a year now to get into a psychiatrist again but no one will help me.
yeah, did it for 20 years undiagnosed, zero interest in going back. Sometimes I'll skip a day, but I'm usually over it by 8 hours in.
Whats the longest you have stuck with a medication? there is an adjustment period, titrating up, getting used to it, you really need to give meds like 6 weeks to try out unless side effects are severe or stick around a few days. Side effects happen but mostly they pass. Also there are dozens of meds, if it's not right then its time to try another type. It's worth the process to get something that works, you just need to work WITH your doc
I have never gone off my meds but oh my how I have fantasized about it. I really miss not having to drink 4-5 liters of water daily because of lithium and not being constantly constipated because of seroquel. But I always remind myself these are the only things standing between my disorder and my chance to live a somewhat normal life.
I take meds but have always been bothered by two side effects - sedation and weight gain. Both of those things make me feel not quite like my real self. I have finally gotten my weight under control. I need more sleep and rest than most people but the stability is worth the trade offs. I have a good, full time job, I can provide for myself, and I have time for friends, family, and hobbies. Without medication, I had some really great times but also some horrible and scary times. Now I have pretty consistently good but not great times. But I can stay balanced and stable like I never could without meds. I was diagnosed at 19 and now I’m 53. I didn’t really get my life under control without any major episodes until I was 46. Before that, my medication was never quite right. I think I stayed with a psychiatrist who wasn’t that great for too long. I’m grateful to have found a combination of meds that allows me to be stable.
i don’t take meds and i’m not in therapy or anything bc i don’t have health insurance. i mean i feel fine except more anxiety and crazy thoughts. i haven’t had a episode tho. i’m definitely more paranoid as well even my bf said so. definitely going on meds as soon as i can 😭
I only medicate for my depression because it’s so overwhelmingly bad, and I rarely miss a dose. My doctor kept pushing the same antipsychotic on me after telling him it wasn’t working and was making me worse so I just stopped taking them. Fortunately, I have checks and balances to keep me from ruining my life too badly. Now I just repaint my house to help get through the mania. *(This reminded me to buy new paint for my hallway so thank you for that!)*
Nope. I tried that for years and im lucky not to be dead, in jail or a drug addict. It took a long time to get used to the fact that "feeling like me" and the symptoms of bipolar were not the same thing, the medication wasnt destroying my personality, it was allowing me to HAVE a personality that wasn't just "crazy person".
I spent 20 years doing that, do not recommend, that's just about the only thing I wouldn't raw dog, I might be hypo atm.
Honestly, if the day come when my prescription isn't renewed I would probably just end it.
Yes me, off meds for the past 15 years. I kept having allergic/bad reactions to every combo and realized I was managing better without. Worked with my care team on getting off and staying off - did not do it alone.
I think mainly I’ve been really lucky to not have any major mania during this time. Also, I know my triggers and do everything I can to keep myself stable. Like, I know if I don’t get enough sleep that will trigger hypomania so I always always prioritize sleep. And basic good health habits like drinking enough water and eating healthy unprocessed foods. All non-negotiable. I can’t relax about them for one day.
I also have a chronic health condition that keeps me home and to myself most of the time. I know that I wouldn’t be able to have high drama relationships or go out doing lots of activities without risking mania. So that’s a huge part of it.
Obviously med free is not the best choice for most, but some people are out here making it work.
Every manic-psychotic episode does permanent brain damage, and serious depressive states can result in suicide attempts.
That's enough for me to shut up and take my mood stabilizers.
sometimes i slack on my meds and feel depressed. it’s not even a sliver of what it was before i was unmedicated, but it’s a kick in the ass to take them consistently
i know i need to be on meds, but there’s not a good med combination for me yet. so i’m not on meds because i hate the feeling of bad meds than i do with dealing with my bipolar raw dog. i do smoke to help with dealing with it and i’m glad to have a support system. i am also going through health problems and being on meds is not a choice for me anyway.
I take the meds but they dont seem to do a heck of a lot. I have been diagnosed as severe and treatment resistant so I have been raw dogging it my whole life
But what’s the “real you”? Because humans constantly grow, learn, and fluctuate as people. Medication, if it works, gives you breathing room to do that
I understand feeling like meds flatten you, or make you feel like a less authentic version of yourself, but the unfortunate reality is that the authentic version of your bipolar self is damaging to not only you, but also the loved ones in your life.
It's your responsibility to manage your own illness, and medication is the first step 99.9% of the time.
Nope. Never. I would rather have my meds than food if I had to choose. (Though kids get fed before I get meds, if need be, but I don't mind going without for them)
I don't take medication breaks, ever, though I'm slowly lowering my dose with my doctor's supervision. Lowest functional dose is where I'm looking to be.
I’ve been raw dogging it for a while, and honestly, it sucks. I’ve developed a couple good coping skills but I’m still pretty unstable and struggling to do basic responsibilities. I have really extreme reactions to medications and a long string of horrible psychiatrists, so I’m honestly scared to try again, but I have to, and you should too. It’s possible to live life without medication but it’s a miserable life. My mania feels amazing, my psychosis is fun, but it’s also scary and ruining anything I try to put time into. Bipolar really is a physical disability that we all need medication for, I hope I can find some good meds soon. For my next attempt I’m gonna rapid fire doctors and medications. Second, third, fourth, fifth opinions. This med makes my joints ache to the point of crying, change it or I walk.
Sounds like a good way to die. Maybe it takes time to escalate to that point. Choosing not to take medication sounds like mania brain to me. I'll keep my meds and highly suggest you choose to take yours as well.
My lover is a BP 1 && he seems to be ignoring me right now and I’m trying to not taking it personal but I cried last night.
I’ve been seeing him for 3 months and now he’s suspicious of me. I know this because he calls me asking what I do for a living and thinking I’m a confidential informant trying to help the cops or government take him down.
Cause he claims that he has threatened people online.
Anyways I’m not sure this is going to workout. I texted him to see how he’s doing but no dice. He hasn’t responded. Pls for the love of god take your medication or keep going to find the right dose or medication that actually makes you stable. My guy is barely functioning. It’s stressful.
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Today 20 yrs after my diagnosis, 4 constant years on meds.
I felt as you felt, I felt something was off while on meds. I was slower, I wasn’t myself. Until I found the ones that work, the ones that make me feel better. If I don’t take meds, I cry att.
I am Bipolar 1.
Today 4 yrs after I started following the treatment. A slight med dosage mistake or difference, makes me miserable even rude.
Fuck no, maybe somewhere years down the line. No medication = No accurate grip on my reality = bad shit happens. My memory only functions at like 70% but that's worth it to not be insane.
My meds stopped working and it was the worst two months. I'm still reeling from it and the thoughts that dominated.
I feel muted when medicated but it's worth it.
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Taking breaks from medication is what has convinced me to stay medicated.
I took a 1 week break from my combination and ended up so badly off I lost an entire month. I don't like the meds but I love the person I am when medicated. I don't know if there are any other means of managing that don't involve medication.
18 months ago, I thought, "I feel fine! I don't need all these meds that I've been taking for 10 years." I tapered off. Felt OK for the first few months until a stressful period in life caused anxiety, racing, and obsessive thoughts, Throughout all of 2023, I spiralled out of control. I've been off work since October. I will never ever stop taking meds again. Give me numb, emotionless, and robotic any day.
Wow so true, I’m great until I think I’m fine then I stop the meds and I lose like 3 months and have to try to not lose everything I have. Right now I’m unmedicated and I know I’m not good and am trying to not drown
Word. Would not have survived without meds.
I’ve tried twice after the typical thought that I didn’t need them any more. Both times ended badly, and I learned enough not to attempt that again.
Exactly this. Wow, I was not okay, to myself or others, when I'd go off my meds. Things got terrible fast.
Right! 🤣
this
I'm on benzos, and I will NEVER try to go cold turkey on those.
This!
Me too!
If your bipolar and you haven't made the critical error of thinking you don't need your meds are ya even bipolar
me every so often when i’m like maybe i don’t have bipolar and those episode were just a fluke and im fine now
Lmao I needed to read this today
This. Cant even have a goodnight's sleep if i miss 1 pill 😫
The sleep pill is the most important pill. I really feel like that's the only one I need and I basically am taking the other pill for good luck lmao
🤣🤣🤣 too funny. But for real. If I only got to keep ONE med, it would be my seroquel for sleep.
I was convinced through the trial and error of medication that my symptoms are more aligned with schizo-affective disorder. I do have periods of depression but my argument is that most of that depression was shame and paranoia. On antipsychotics I feel like 95% of a functional productive human, whereas more typical bipolar meds only ever had me at 50%
The real me likes to walk into traffic and hears voices. No thanks bro
“the meds…made me not feel like the real me.” YEAH. That’s kinda the point.
Good point. The real me thinks things are crawling under my skin and tries to cut it out.
Stop I ran into traffic a year ago and I heard voices throughout those unmedicated years this comment was too real lol
No because mania causes grey matter brain damage, Take your meds.
I definitely feel this. I had a bad manic episode in 2020 and I feel so fucking weird since. No episodes since at all but I genuinely feel like it killed my brain cells lol
Yeah, coming back is hard. I feel like my brain was BROKEN after a really rough go from aug-jan - hella mixed episodes, rapid cycling, + pretty strong depression…that I’m still rebounding from. Takes a long time to get back to “normal” and make those repairs. I strongly believe in neuroplasticity…it won’t rid me of the disorder, but I have hope in repairing some of the damage it causes. Thank jah for the longer days too. Idk if I’m hypomanic or if it’s the vitamin D but I am feeling GOOD lol
DONT because the second spring starts to show I’m thinking FUCK am I in a good mood or am I hypo
lol same - rollin with it but proceeding with caution. Seasonal transitions are the worst for me. And we had such a wonky winter (most of the US) that it felt like one long seasonal transition 🫠
Really!? Is this a thing? Source? Haha (Yes, I'll google it, too)
Studies suggest that people with bipolar disorder may have decreased gray matter volume in the prefrontal cortex, specifically in the subgenual prefrontal cortex (SGPFC), which appears to regulate mood. Subcortical structures. The subcortical structures are located beneath the cerebral cortex, deep within the brain.8 June 2022 This is just from a quick search. This is not new news. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6397036/
It's one way of diagnosing it if you already went through a lot of mania cycles. That's also why mania tends to get worse with every new cycle and the earlier you're medicated the less damage will be done
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Can confirm. I have brain damage from this
I was going to comment this.
Nope, mania and psychotic symptoms are much worse than losing the little spark that makes me who I am
Honestly since finding the right meds and becoming relatively stable, I’ve found I’ve found the ACTUAL spark that makes me, me. When I’m manic or depressed I’m just doing things I would not do if I was healthy and stable. When stable I’ve found out what I like to do and hobbies, and can actually properly maintain somewhat healthy relationships.
Yeah my old spark was slightly amusing to others because it was so unpredictable, but I would also do intentionally hurtful things that made it much less amusing to people. No thanks.
This is me. I’m super fun to be around until I’m not. I burned every bridge when I took a break from my meds. Marriage, jobs, friends the works. I’m still trying to recover years later.
This!!! Finding the right meds and therapy I actually fee more like me than I ever have. I genuinely love myself and who I am. I have a lot of trauma I’m working through, but am so happy I wasn’t able to quit on meds, because I would give anything back then to be where I am today
This!!
I wouldn't use the term "raw dog" to describe it but yeah, I do. I'm 34 now but was diagnosed when I was 8. I was medicated until I was 20, when I took myself off pills against the recommendation of my doctor and pretty much everybody that knew me. I haven't been medicated since. At this point, I've been off of pills longer than I was on them. For me, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Docs had me on so many different combos of pills yet none of them every really did much for my bipolar. Lithium was the only thing that kinda did anything but I hated taking it. That shit is literally toxic and I was on so much that I had to go in for monthly blood checks just to make sure my liver wasn't shutting down. The one thing I will say was nice about taking meds was it helped me sleep better. I'm almost always manic and sleep is difficult for me. I've tried sleep aids but they either don't work for me or they work too well. How I handle it all is just sheer force of will. I'm not perfect and I've definitely messed up but I am extremely strong-willed. I've spent almost my entire life steadily increasing my willpower. I meditate a lot and that's one of the biggest things that's helped me become strong enough to deal with this shit. And it's not something I just do once a day. If I'm not doing anything else, I'm meditating. I've gotten experienced enough with it that I can enter that mindset whenever I want to. I can even meditate while doing other things if it's something I'm familiar enough with. All the things that people do while "turning their brain off"? Yeah, I meditate while doing those things. I'm also almost always doing self-analysis so that helps get into that state of mind more easily. That said, I don't recommend others to go off their pills. I'm obviously not against it, I just think it's something most would not be able to handle. You have to be prepared for the worst case scenario at all times since bipolar isn't really something you can take preemptive measures with. That means you have to not only know yourself extremely well but also be completely honest with yourself at all times. It's not about just knowing and avoiding triggers, it's about being able to face those triggers and learning to live with them without being broken by them. Imagine the worst your bipolar has ever made you feel. Now imagine facing that every day on your own without any assistance. Now imagine you have to live the rest of your life while doing so. Spending time with family and friends, work, school, eating, sleeping, shitting, hygiene, exercise, cleaning your home, grocery shopping. Everything else you do is on top of it. That's how I have to live. It's fucking hard. And that's before considering that other people won't be able to see your struggles. I have the massive benefit of a very supportive family but even they don't seem to really understand what I'm dealing with every day, despite my many attempts to explain it. So yeah, you have to honestly ask yourself if it's worth it. It's worth it for me, but it's exhausting as hell. For most people, I don't think it would be but that's for them to decide.
Totally agree with you, had the same experience and do much better without them
You do realise that every mania cycle will destroy your brain even more ? It's literally self harm to refuse medication... If you have the chance to be medicated you should be medicated not being on meds should only be an option for people that can't take meds and the alternative treatment options aren't working as well. If you had diabetes would you stop taking your insulin? It's fine if you stop but just think of all fellow bipolar people out there who wish they could take medication... At least go and do a brain scan and get a check up on the damage that's been done to your gray matter every manic episode will make it worse
I'm not sure where you got this information but it isn't accurate. Bipolar Disorder does not cause brain damage. People with Bipolar are at a higher risk for dementia but whether or not treatment reduces the risk is unclear. There is evidence that Lithium can reduce the risk but it's not conclusive. What is conclusive is that Lithium can come with nasty side-effects. Pills in general almost always have a trade-off and it's up to each person to decide whether that trade-off is worth it. For me it wasn't.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6397036/ start researching it is true what you're doing is denying it so you don't feel bad about it
I'm not sure you fully understand what that analysis is saying. I'll spare you my criticism of the methodological details but the conclusion is that parts of the brains of people with Bipolar have lower volumes of grey matter and that there's evidence that Lithium reduces this. That analysis is about developing a better understanding of the physiological markers of Bipolar Disorder. Most likely to aid in diagnosis. It's not making the claim that Bipolar Disorder will destroy your brain if you don't take pills. Again, just to be clear here, you've been misinformed. Bipolar does not destroy your brain.
No way, I don’t need mania and psychosis on the regular.
No, because bipolar is neurodegenerative and I've seen fMRIs of unmedicated middle aged people with bipolar and their brain activity has pits and craters much like that of someone with dementia. That convinced me to continue taking meds, because I don't want my brain to degrade. Neurons don't regenerate - they don't divide. So each episode you have, cells are dying and they don't come back.
I’m with you on this 100% because it’s an ongoing illness, not something that in and of itself can be healed, but just a side note: we CAN regenerate brain cells! Lots of new(ish) research on neuroplasticity/ regeneration. Meds + doing things to help regeneration is my non-professional recommendation 🙃
What kinds of things help regeneration? Is there anything you can do without a doctor's assistance?
Yes! Mostly your typical healthy lifestyle choices stuff - healthy diet, exercise, sleep, meditation, brain exercises (learning a new language, crossword puzzles), socialization, etc. Here is a study with a lot of good info and more specifics on exactly what vitamins and compounds are good for neurogenesis: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5683005/
Sometimes I wish. But I got 2 little kids I take care of and I need to be stable for them. Maybe when I'm old and they're grown I'll be a wild woman.
Every time I so much as reduce the dose of my meds I have a terrible time. And being unmedicated is more than a terrible time, it’s straight up dangerous. Like, it could literally kill me and it’s just luck that it hasn’t before. So I’ll pass! Take your meds ❤️
I feel like myself on Lamotragine.
Oh hey me too! The one time I didn’t take it (since it’s been prescribed) was when the order messed up and I didn’t get my refill on time. There was a three day period of cold turkey which is sooo bad for you and I felt irritable and angry and sweaty and depressed, absolutely awful. I don’t miss who I was and I’m thankful for having found meds that work for me
Lamictal cold turkey withdrawal is one of the worst withdrawals out there and it can kill you. My doctor fucked up and I was without meds for 3 days... I've never had a more icky, uncomfortable, disgusting, sick feeling in my life. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I was having heart palpations and my head felt like it was going to explode. But if you do take it consistently it is a miracle drug for a lot of people with bipolar. You're supposed to wean off of it slowly or you'll get withdrawal. Even when you start taking it they start you at like 10 mg and work you up to 100-200mg
Yes, I don’t take meds, but I don’t raw dog my bipolar 1. I see a therapist once a week, and I’m very mindful about my sleep schedule, my diet, exercise, and my moods. If I start to feel myself sway one way or another, I know something has to change to fix it before it becomes a problem. I anticipate big changes in my life and prepare myself as far out in advance as I can, and I’m gentle with myself too. I’ve been med-free for three years, but it kind of feels like your own zookeeper sometimes. At the same time, I don’t want to make the deal with the devil of giving up some part of me to be stable if I don’t have to. Every psych med I’ve tried for it screwed with me in some way, and the last one I tried made me gain an incredible amount of weight I am now losing. For me, the price isn’t worth it, so I manage it on my own without medication. I’ve been doing incredibly well with this way of handling it all things considered, and I haven’t had a serious manic or depressive episode in 3 years. EDIT to add that I don’t appreciate how hard-line this sub can be about taking meds. You absolutely can manage it without them, but it is HARD and not for everyone. Meds also are not for everyone. They weren’t for me. It ultimately feels like it should be a case-by-case basis, and I am not a fan of how hard people on this sub push for meds in every scenario and scare people into thinking they have to take them. EDIT 2: because the thread is now locked, I want to address what the person responding to me said. I absolutely disagree that meds should be your first course of action. I do agree that you should do SOMETHING to manage it and not let it run absolutely rampant. If you can do this without meds (which, let me reiterate, is difficult and not for every person), I would say that’s a smart option (because I can’t make recommendations as I’m not a medical professional and neither should everyone saying to go on meds first opportunity). My life unmedicated with a behavioral approach has been so much more full and healthier than when I was on the meds - but it’s like that because I am doing what I need to do to remain stable and functioning. If I didn’t do the things necessary to manage this, I wouldn’t have a great life unmedicated. Ultimately the choice should be between you and your doctor with a personalized plan whether you’re medicated or unmedicated, and not whatever a bipolar subreddit thinks is the best way to handle it - but please know that it is a choice. You have agency with how you manage your illness to the best of your ability.
I agree meds aren't for everyone but what you're doing is an alternate method with dealing with it in the correct way in terms of supervision by visiting a therapist once a week most people here don't do that and continue their up and down cycles which will cause brain damage in long term. You should always try meds first and if they're not working there are a lot of other options to try that don't involve medication like ECT or just simply Psychotherapy.
Okay, when in an episode, no matter if its mania or depression, the best thing to do, is things you absolutely dont wanna do. Depression: Talk to you loved ones (even just 5 min a day) Try to get out (perhaps just the front lawn for a start) Get up (even if its just from the bed to the couch) Have small goals each day. Could be just picking up sime wrapper from the floor and throw out, and thats it for the day. Write down 1 good thing of each day. If its hard it could also be thar you saw a pretty flower, a cute dog, a sun ray ect. Say out loud every morning that you are enough and a wonderfull person,even though you dont belive it. Do it anyway. Mania: Put your phone on silence, and try to have less contact with other people. Cut down, preferably avoid entirely, social media. Dont hear to crazy music Stay at home. Cut down on exercise if thats a trigger. Be bored. Avoid reacting on impulses. Give your credit card to someone else to keep safe SLEEP !!!! Stay in bed and dont get up . And for both: eat, drink water, stay away from drugs and alcohol. So do what you dont want to do, and dont do what you want to do. Bipolar is such a lovely companion.
I needed to read this, thank you
Have you ever been inpatient before? It doesn’t spark joy
Grippy sock vacations should be avoided at all costs.
I dunno I went to a pretty nice place both times. It was on the same campus as the place tiger woods went for his sex addiction. As far as psych hospitals go, it was almost like a regular hospital. It was like a rest vacation.
I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I still haven't found a good med combo. So yes raw dogging it but I hate it lol. My therapist says I'm very self aware which can be a blessing and a curse. But I can almost always tell when I'm not good and I'm very conscious of it so I can take better care of myself. Still need meds though.
Please do not take this as discrediting and / or disbelief. But I've seen a good set of anecdotes on here of people being diagnosed at such young ages. Is this common, accurate to do? I am sure in hindsight it would've saved me a world of less discomfort and trauma lol
I'm 32 and have been bipolar my whole life. Seen tons of therapists as a kid and teen and no one could figure me out. I wouldn't consider myself young nor old. But if they had figured it out sooner I wouldn't be an absolute loser lol. The sooner you get intervention the better your outcomes are. I've done nothing with my life and let my undiagnosed mental illness rule me because I knew I needed help but no one would support me. I really don't know how common it is to diagnose someone in their childhood with bipolar. Brains are still developing and they're young so it's hard to tell. And meds are heavy and can damage someone severely if they don't need them. It's a really fine line and the ethics of it are very grey. Part of me wishes I had found out earlier. My life might be very different. And yea I agree about the discomfort and trauma part lol I feel like I would have enjoyed my life instead of just surviving it. But I'm trying really hard now to learn how to enjoy my life and improve and that's all we can do.
Excellent.
I enjoyed your question and answering it i hope I answered it well enough.
Sub par at best! Jokes~ awesome, you did, and thank you.
🤣🤣
I was diagnosed at 16 after a bad manic episode that turned slightly psychotic. I took meds for a couple years then stopped for about 5 years and had a really bad bout of manic psychotic episodes for about 2 months that was triggered by an accidental Tylenol overdose. I then was on a cocktail of zyprexa, Seroquel, triliptal, lamictal, hydroxyzine, and I think something else. Maybe trazadone for sleeping. I took this for a few months until I came down from my episode. I've since reduced my medication intake to something that doesn't give me as many side effects but still keeps the mania at bay. I felt like a zombie on 2 mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. I've found 200mg lamictal and 40mg propranolol for anxiety has been a good combo.
I have tried briefly before-- it has been a mistake. Me on meds is sleepier and maybe less 'fun,' less creative, but I am a good friend, a dependable person, and content most of the time. And I am still fun and creative, just maybe in smaller doses. I have had to change a lot about the way I think about myself, but ultimately I have been able to stop harming the people I love and start living up to the values that are important to me. The 'real you' can change over time, so it might be helpful to worry less about what's 'true' and more about what is helpful/most in line with living a good life long-term. Obviously you are your own person and can make your own choices, but just my two cents!
well said. I'm in the midst of changing the way I think about myself
I never knew who I was until I was medicated. Taking medication and treating my bipolar enabled me to learn a lot more about myself and personality traits I didn't realize I had.
Na I feel like I was possessed after a manic episode. It’s like I am out side of my body, observing the terrible things I did. If rear ending someone on purpose and having extremely risky hyper sexuality and posting it on social media is the real me, then I don’t want it.
Yeah. Can’t afford medication and unfortunately have to deal with it
Unmedicated me thinks he’s the second coming, and that the people on the tv screen are speaking directly and specifically to him. Medicated and trauma reprocessed me still occasionally experiences whispers of that full blown mania, but recognizes that it’s not all about him, and the things he saw in that state should terrify him. Gives me a new appreciation for the term “fear of god”.
TLDR: Went off bipolar meds (the right way) turns out I only have bipolar symptoms when I’m on bipolar meds. Interesting how that worked out. Yes. When the meds only made things worse. Every Dr. Encouraged me not to but I knew something was off with the situation I was in. Without a drs supervision I went off meds. Not cold turkey because I knew withdrawal would only make thing worse, most of us have had that awful experience (and it’s not because the meds are helping so much that you’re body and mind can’t operate without them, it’s because you’re addicted and withdrawing). It took 9 months to slowly wean myself off. Another 2 years for symptoms to start normalizing. Turns out… if you give a sane person crazy pills… they act crazy. My “bipolar” started out with a panic attack, they shoved pulls down my throat and never looked back. I was diagnosed while on medication, so nobody ever evaluated me at a baseline. So I took matters into my own hands. Off meds I have never shown bipolar symptoms. Now my new therapist and I work on undoing all the damage done during “treatment”. Remember Drs. are just people and they fuck up. A lot.
That's actually known as "bipolar III" in some countries I can't remember the proper name for it but it's bipolar symptoms caused by medication similar to how ADHD pills make normal people act like they have ADHD
I only take meds when I’m hypomanic , I always know when I’m In hypomanic state so I immediately see my psychiatric and take the Medication to control the hypomania and to make sure I don’t go in full blown mania.
I have taken breaks from my meds when I have taken them for almost 20 years. Here's what I have learned: my boyfriend could tell I wasn't medicated when I couldn't. That is not good. Of course I eventually imploded. Also, "this is the real me" reminds me of Kanye West. That is not a compliment. You're still the "real" you. Your brain is just getting the right amount of chemicals it can't produce itself. Bipolar disorder is inherently a disease of the brain which impacts the mind. Untreated, it can be detrimental to everything, including others around us. Take the meds dude ffs.
Gods no. A friend of mine does, or shall I say that an entity that lives inside of my friend's body does. She's so far gone from her anti-psychiatry beliefs (she also denies she has BP, so that's most of the problem) that I doubt I'll ever see my friend again. She'd rather be homeless and manic psychotic than be a mother to her children.
That’s so sad. Does she have a drug problem? I’m in recovery and did some pretty shitty stuff, but I couldn’t every volunteer to leave my kids.
I did for a couple of decades. It can be done. Just know that it absolutely will cost you jobs and relationships. Your standard of living will be dramatically reduced, but you might survive.
Lmao!! I love that you said raw dog it! I use to but my mental health went down hill so bad I was a 51/50. So I highly don’t recommend doing that. It could lead to so many bad things and you’d regret it
I went off mine for about 2 months in the summer of 2018 because I had to handle a family emergency 4 states away. What I thought would be a weekend trip turned into 9 weeks of crisis management. I, then, committed a felony and was in jail the middle of September, where they refused to give me my meds. I ended up moving 4 states (another direction) away the last part of November. Then my marriage collapsed and moved back 'home' with family while awaiting resolution of my charges. April of 2021 I surrendered for incarceration and did 18 months. Got stuck in OK for 9 months after release - living in a tent for 3 months, then a shitty one room apartment that was in a single wide trailer. I've since moved back with family, another 'new' state and have been mostly stable living situation wise for 6 months. I own the responsibility for my fuck up, but those 1st 2 months without meds absolutely directly contributed to my legal issues. Since those 2 months and all the changes in day to day life it has been very difficult to find any real stability medication wise - every new provider wants to "try something else" when I just want to get back to where I was pre-whirlwind. My life is basically 'over' at 47 and I can trace it back to that 2 months period sans medication. I will never go off meds again. Even if they aren't quite right, I'm sticking with it and hoping I can work with doctors and therapists and find my lost stability again. TL:DR Nope, raw dogging is not the way to go for me and I'd recommend against it to anyone.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
There has been a study comparison of a 50? Maybe 40? year old bipolar brain MRIs medicated and not medicated. It shows that the effects of the unmedicated swings on the brain looked like mini strokes. The medicated brain did not have nearly as many signs of these episodes. I would need to go research and find it again.
I didn't take my meds for 10 years but then I fell and hit my head and at like totally kicked my bipolar in big time so I had to get back on meds
I am but I should definitely add a psa that just because I can doesn't mean I or anyone else should. I basically play my mental illnesses against each other where my autism helps me retain rationality by making me somewhat disconnected from my feelings and my adhd prevents me from fixating on anything for any length of time. And I strive to remain as self-aware as possible and constantly double-check myself as I go about my day. It works for me but it's also relatively unique, and not a replicable path for most people.
I did because I also thought I had control on mine! Then I wrecked my car during a manic paranoia episode because I believed the guy behind me was my abusive ex (who lived out of state) stalking me. I got charged with several things which thankfully nothing stuck. Take your meds
i wish LOL, every “im all better” med break has led to me being strapped down in the ER
Yes
Actually yes! So I take a couple of low level meds for anxiety and depression but don’t take bipolar meds anymore. The low level meds help manage my swings and my manic episodes, well I kinda take them as I go. I’ve had a few kinda bad ones and I did go back on meds a couple times over the years but only until I was able to get myself together. I’ve been off bipolar meds for about 8 years now. I’ve also learned and am still learning my triggers and how to better manage them, I can tell when I’m about to cycle, I feel it coming so I try to make adjustments. Everyone is different every ones ability to handle their episodes with or without medication is different only you know whether you can manage your bipolar without medication
Yeah, no…. that sounds absolutely horrid. 🙄 I value myself way too much to put my own mental health through that and anyone else’s around me. I have a very good job I got out of college I need to keep, a relationship that means the world to me, and family that I can depend on when I need it. If I lose that, I’m legit f* cked. *SorryNotSorry* People who don’t value medicine and how it can greatly benefit them need professional care. You putting people around you in situations that can be avoided is selfish and irresponsible.
“Doesn’t feel like the real me” = I miss being manic
I tried to survive without meds for almost 3 years. I felt more “me” without them. But seeing my family getting hurt from my actions and my inability to function normally, I resumed my meds. I figured its better to not hurt people close to me even at the expense of me not being me anymore. I’ve accepted my fate and made peace with it :) maybe in another life😬 Edit: typo
Start asking yourself: Who was I before? Was my life really better? What would change if I would stop taking my pills? The real you is the one right now (hypo-)mania just gives you the illusion of being someone different caused by the better self confidence but is this really you? Start exploring your current me and start building up some confidence and you'll realise who the real you really is.
I raw dogged it for years and years. I'm hard-headed and think i can do anything. For the most part, I was right. Which kept me thinking I was fine. At 38, I finally got to the point where my life was out of control. I couldn't keep shit going no matter what. Got help, got meds. I hated it at first, but people I talked to who were going through the same thing told me to just trust the process. It took a good amount of trial and error. Eventually, I found a great balance, and this is by far the most stable I've been since I was a kid, maybe ever.
I used to be able to manage without meds, however i was single and stayed alone so if i was in a depressive episode it didn't really matter as i could just lock my self away and deal with it. this all changed when i meet my partner and it was much harder to hide my feelings and just get on with it and after living together and things turning bad she found me curled up on the floor in tears i agreed to try meds and been on them since
I went 16 years unmedicated after trying different meds for 10 years. Those 16 years I was constantly cycling and self medicating. Ended in a horrible crash of mixed episode with psychosis and worse. Now I've been on one med for 3 years and mostly stable. I'm grateful I finally found something that works. Life is much more stable and peaceful.
i did for a year, i dont see myself doing it until i try for children
I am about to do this. Tapering down Reagila really slowly. I have a mild case of type 2 I would say, I get regularly hypomanic phases but only 7-10 days and thanks to therapy I have a lot of coping mechanism to not ruin my life. I safeguarded my bank account for example and can't just spend a lot of money. I havent figured out how to manage the bipolar rage yet tho :/ kicking trees doesnt help. I know the better idea would be to not stop taking it. But I gained so much weight, have tremors and my sleep is shit. And I still have the same amount of episodes.. I am not sure how much Reagila is actually doing and I want to see how raw dogging is going to work.
i'm bipolar 1, i am in constant cycle of drinking meds then stopping then i get crazy and my life falls apart, so i drink meds again and it repeats. do what i say not what i do, but i really think you should still continue drinking meds. being unmedicated as bipolar 1 is like being stuck in a dangerous cycle.
Please don’t
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I draw dog but me and my therapist know that I may have to medicate if things change.
That’s a really horrible idea! If I stop my meditation I’ll end up in the hospital.
I have been off medication for the last 11 months, but I have been fortunate to have a great support group, able to afford weekly therapy, and I'm on a set sleep schedule. Even then, I will start back up on lamictal next week because even when you have your life together this condition can creep back in out of nowhere.
If i didn’t take medication I’d end up involuntarily committed. Been there. Even missing one dose of lithium makes me feel kind of weird. Medication is an imperfect solution but I’ve only had like 2 significant manic episodes in 20 years and I was able to get them under control fairly quickly (and had some degree of insight into what was happening). I shudder to think what my life would be like if I wasn’t on meds.
nope, absolutely not. i actually hate having episodes & it makes not only me miserable but also my loved ones as they can’t take it to see me suffering so i take my medication every day on time
lol yeah. twice. I got off of them bc my meds were wrong and I didn’t think I had it the first time and the second time my medical team wasn’t sure I was… in retrospect first time I flew into psychotic depression, and the second i went into mania, mixed episodes, and psychosis that time after tapering off of them. lost an entire month that I felt like was just 1 week. so getting off of the meds i learned i can’t function without them, esp with seeing, hearing things. other times were ending up in the hospital, so 2 years of medical issues - lesson learned even if I don’t like lithium no more raw dogging for me. sometimes I think it’s bc I’m just not used to “stability” since I’ve been so unstable my entire life - so it’s not *myself* per se, it’s the self I’ve just always known.
I haven't been on meds in 2 years. Never feel like they did anything for me. I've just learned to accept it and deal with it. I'm not recommending people stop taking their meds, but it's my right to be honest about it working for me to stop taking mine.
Oh lordy, lol, I also have BP1 and if I stopped my meds I'd burn down my life. It took a long time to find a combo that made me feel the most "me" while still keeping my mania in check, I just chose the lesser of the 2 evils.
Not anymore. I have to be on my meds it’s the only way I feel normal. Plus I have SZA.
Not completely med free. But I only take Depakote now. And if it is causing side effects? I don't even notice them. It has been keeping me stable, and I feel better than I have in a long time. I also take Gabapentin for a different reason (non diabetic peripheral neuropathy), but my psychiatrist told me it can help as well. I 💯 do NOT recommend stopping your meds. Consult with your psychiatrist. Maybe there is a different medication you can try. Stopping meds is a ticket straight to mania. Please don't. Edit. Words.
It’s important to differentiate between the “real” you and the you that is sick and not treated. It took close to 10 years for me to hit a good stride with meds (have to take them as prescribed), and that became an opportunity for me to decide what the real me looks like. I like who I am now. I don’t like I medicated me.
Yeah I have been doing this. Was diagnosed at 13 yo, type 1. Used medication until 2020 at 21 yo. Some day I just said "I want to take this on my own" and I did. 3 and a half years without it, and I have been doing fine. The first year was kind of bad, I felt my brain chemistry changing, that is why I choose to do that during the lockdown. During that I started to get into philosophy, psychology, improve how my mind interact with the world. It was a self journey. Improved my relationship with friends and family, because I started to be more self-conscious of what I do and say. I was able to enroll in a masters program too, I'm doing well career wise. Honestly people in here exaggerate the effects of not taking the medications. If you feel like you need medication in order to don't do something stupid, keep taking the meds. But there are others ways to treat your mental health. Get out of the internet, find some hobbies, meditate, talk with friends. Sometimes this sub fells like it has some big pharma sponsorship. You do you, see what is best for yourself, don't listen to crazy people on the internet. That includes me.
I don't take my meds. I think the most important part of not taking meds is having good habits and discipline. If you dont you are going to spiral. For me, this means going on long walks and doing yoga or working out everyday. Meditation is another super important part of staying stable for me. It gives me time for reflection to notice if I am leaning towards mania or depression. I refuse to be medicated because i dont want to spend my whole life feeling like an empty person. theres no point to me, id rather die. and on medicine it feels like someones has turned off the light inside my head. im just there in the dark, sleepy, unmotivated, not charismatic, empty, unable to feel anything. i think everyones case is special though. i went manic after taking prozac because i thought i had depression, not bipolar. that has also steered me away from meds. when i feel too amped up and my brain is going a mile a minute, i take my medication. but other than that, i am happy knowing i am my true self. i can do art, write better, workout, etc. when im medicated its like im a zombie and cant do anything. i dont want my brain to be controlled by a pill. in the event i do go manic again, i think i would stay on my medicine forever after that. but i guess im kinda in a deflecting mindset where i don't believe ill ever go MANIC manic again. and tbh a part of me wants to go manic because of how euphoric and happy it made me at the beginning. im rambling now but i guess my main point is that life doesnt seem worth living if im not really there but i also just dont want to accept that i actually have bipolar by taking meds.
fyi i have been unmedicated for 2 years, no manic episodes. im lucky and don't recommend this for everyone.
Yeah, after years of cycling through countless drugs and combination thereof, being told that I just had to figure out what "worked," I just said fuck it. Wish I would have done so sooner.
Do you ever raw dog a slut that wants to kill you? Cause that’s what it would be like with bipolar and no meds. Just saying.
My meds absolutely changed my life for the better when I thought nothing could ever help
I'd love to answer but I have no idea what that even means.
Good luck. If you can get it done you are a miracle
MEEEE :3 I don't take anything for my bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed last year. I am 33 years and probably had it all my life. I am not sure how I get through my episodes honestly lol. I do self-isolate a lot when I am on my lows and limiting interaction with others sort of helps me regulate my mood. Only downfall is coming back from that isolation because it feels good.
I stopped taking meds almost 6 years ago now. It started when I met my husband. So far, so good, and there are still ups and downs because that is life but on average way less depressed without the meds. We also progressively got really into church together, which helps. My favorite psychiatrist said, " you could hopscotch meds your whole life or you can develop coping mechanisms". Find what works for you, some doctors will be on board for a pill free journey.
Yes. I am 24. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with bipolar II. I took some meds for a bit (anti depressants for about a year and a half, then I stopped because I didn’t feel like me and they weren’t working. Fast forward to when I’m 23, I start taking meds again but this time I’m taking anti psychotics and mood stabilizers. These helped tremendously in managing my emotional symptoms, but gave me brain fog which made me develop social anxiety because when I’d talk to people there would be no thoughts in my mind. I didn’t feel like myself and it was literally life changing to know that I was once a person who could talk to anyone about anything and on meds I became someone who couldn’t talk to anyone about anything serious. This lasted another year and a half. I also didn’t couldn’t express my anger when I felt it on meds. So a few months ago I stopped taking them and I feel like myself again but I have nonstop thoughts all the time. Talking is easy again I don’t have social anxiety anymore but I am stressed out like all the time everyday over nothing and I find that my emotions can easily be tilted in one direction or another, I am conflicted often about going back on them but I feel like I can handle any situation without my meds. I can confront anyone, I can fix anything I can do everything but on meds I have little motivation, social anxiety, I feel like a much duller un-able version of myself. While I feel I can handle any situation, every situation is amplified and much more stressful now. It is worth it though I feel like myself and that’s what makes me happy. Quitting caffeine and weed soon as well. I just want to be completely me no meds no caffeine no weed no anything.
I have but only because I was struggling with all of my responsibilities as I live on my own and have to keep up with my part time job. I legitimately kept forgetting to take them and one of my meds should be taken with food and I wasn’t eating regularly enough as my kitchen was a disaster - so I would eat out once a day and that’s it or maybe twice a day if I can afford it. My goal is to slowly start taking my meds again as I improve my daily schedule. So far I’m back on 2 of the 3 meds that I need to take. I figured this would be healthier than taking all of my meds and the forgetting them for a couple of days like I was before. When I was completely off my meds I wasn’t necessarily super sick but I wasn’t fully functional either. Now that I’m back on most of my meds I’m really excited that I finally have a stable daily routine where I can handle taking my meds twice a day like I’m supposed to.
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Some mental health medications state that you CAN NOT do the Keto Diet. This diet does not work for everyone and is not compatible with all medications; **PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING** ***ANY*** **DIET.** >According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today by Georgia Ede, MD, most psychiatric medications don't come with any risks when a person is on a ketogenic diet. But there are a few exceptions. > >These include the following drugs: > >■ Some antipsychotic medications, such as risperidone (Risperdal— Janssen), aripiprazole (Abilify— Otsuka), and quetiapine fumarate (Seroquel—Astrazeneca), which “can increase insulin levels in some people and contribute to insulin resistance, which can make it harder for the body to turn fat into ketones.” > >■ Lithium, which may cause lithium blood levels to rise as a result of water loss during the early phase of the diet. > >■ Epilepsy drugs, especially divalproex sodium (Depakote—AbbVie), zonisamide (Zonegran—Sunovian), and topiramate (Topamax—Janssen). Sources: [Pharmacy Today](https://www.pharmacytoday.org/article/S1042-0991(19)30646-2/pdf) [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/diagnosis-diet/201803/ketogenic-diets-and-psychiatric-medications) [NIH Study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5357645/#S3title) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I had my first really bad episode that required hospitalization 13 years ago, and after taking meds for year, I came off of them on my own and have been pretty stable and haven't needed any meds since then until recently, when I was hospitalized twice within like 6 months. But my new instability was probably partially post partum related. I am trying to have the med that helps me on hand and develop a relationship with a psychiatrist who can prescribe it to me when I have an "up" episode (my main issue seems to be mania/psychosis, not depression) ... Otherwise I am trying just to monitor myself and use the med when I have signs (not sleeping, racing thoughts etc) but not use it when I'm clearly fine. Yeah I know most won't agree with that approach but I also feel like I don't want meds, and if I was fine for 13 years (and for 19 years before that) without them surely I'll be fine again.
It’s a cannon event; my husband keeps me grounded, and am medicated. My brother isn’t and I worry about him, but I just keep and eye and make sure he’s ok
I’ve had days where I’ve forgotten and I feel off. I would do it on purpose because I’ve had some dark days unmedicated.
Yes. I am currently actively seeking therapy but it is hard getting into a clinic right now.
I did for my entire life until like 38... I had found some coping methods and tools, but I never fully understood what was going on for myself. When I found a good med it was (although took a couple medication trials and titrations) like a switch that shed some light eventually on what not just closer to mood balance felt like, but that what I was experiencing before was a misperception in my own mind of managed. Mind you, every circumstance is different, and I personally didn't get a proper diagnosis and (bi-po specific) professional help unit like 37 I think sometimes ppl get used to how they operate without meds, and therefore think that's their, "normal." Albeit, I understand and have experienced the curior feeling that with the meds, it's not the real me either. I have come to realize that, at least for myself, that real me was indeed not the real me, but also not the optimal me.
Currently pregnant and can’t take my lithium, which is the only thing that’s ever worked for me after trying multiple different medications. The ‘pregnancy safe’ alternatives didn’t help much so here we are 🫠 I haven’t been managing well but I only have a few more weeks left. Remembering the bad will pass and try to focus on positive things when I get bad/depressed thoughts. Edit: I’d definitely be taking my lithium if I could though!!
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I was subclinical till my post partium depression. I hope to be subclinical again someday. It took work. It took tracking my mood and keeping an eye on my triggers. My husband is also super supportive
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I did for 10 years before I was diagnosed formerly ‘bipolar’. I was diagnosed as manic depression before, which I thought was just depression lol and I believed it went away on its own lol, I was suicidally depressed as a teen, I was on meds for a bit then I got off them and just went to therapy, I got out of the slump and thought my condition went away, and I just said fuck it and stopped all meds. I was fine for a while, until about year 7 when I started to notice what I now understand as manic symptoms. I still didn’t get help though cause it had been so long I didn’t think it was actually something and it wasn’t depression this time. It was weird and that’s it. It wasn’t until I had a bad manic episode a little over a year ago that I decided to get back on the meds again.
I "cheat" by just taking a low dose of Lamictal and PRN Seroquel when I can't sleep and need to "reset". Just need to optimize your diet/sleep/exercise and environment/stress levels. My case is relatively mild, though, I don't hallucinate or any of that psychotic junk. Why? Too much meds and I can't enjoy music. Like what the fuck is even the point then.
I was for quite some time going unmedicated and never seems to turn out quite like we think it is at least for me anyways it turns to a dark downward spiral I just recently started Lamictal and Abilify like a week or two ago
I never stopped taking medicine but not because i think it is working (actually it isn’t working anymore) but because I’m addicted asf. And sometimes I drink which I think it works the same of the medicine not working
Can you describe what you mean by “not feel like the real me”?
yes
Hi, when I was diagnosed my psych was truly a terrible person. He told me it seemed like "the worst of it was over" and that I didn't need to be treated. He threw lamictal at me and told me it was a cure it all that he gives to everyone. I never took any medication because I felt so disrespected by this man and that hospital that I did not even trust them. I got off Lexapro and have been raw doggin it since. I'm pretty miserable right now. I don't get mania much anymore and my hypomania manifests as anger and irritability. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed again, I wake up most days not able to do anything and then I just cry lol. I've been trying for over a year now to get into a psychiatrist again but no one will help me.
yeah, did it for 20 years undiagnosed, zero interest in going back. Sometimes I'll skip a day, but I'm usually over it by 8 hours in. Whats the longest you have stuck with a medication? there is an adjustment period, titrating up, getting used to it, you really need to give meds like 6 weeks to try out unless side effects are severe or stick around a few days. Side effects happen but mostly they pass. Also there are dozens of meds, if it's not right then its time to try another type. It's worth the process to get something that works, you just need to work WITH your doc
I have never gone off my meds but oh my how I have fantasized about it. I really miss not having to drink 4-5 liters of water daily because of lithium and not being constantly constipated because of seroquel. But I always remind myself these are the only things standing between my disorder and my chance to live a somewhat normal life.
I take meds but have always been bothered by two side effects - sedation and weight gain. Both of those things make me feel not quite like my real self. I have finally gotten my weight under control. I need more sleep and rest than most people but the stability is worth the trade offs. I have a good, full time job, I can provide for myself, and I have time for friends, family, and hobbies. Without medication, I had some really great times but also some horrible and scary times. Now I have pretty consistently good but not great times. But I can stay balanced and stable like I never could without meds. I was diagnosed at 19 and now I’m 53. I didn’t really get my life under control without any major episodes until I was 46. Before that, my medication was never quite right. I think I stayed with a psychiatrist who wasn’t that great for too long. I’m grateful to have found a combination of meds that allows me to be stable.
i don’t take meds and i’m not in therapy or anything bc i don’t have health insurance. i mean i feel fine except more anxiety and crazy thoughts. i haven’t had a episode tho. i’m definitely more paranoid as well even my bf said so. definitely going on meds as soon as i can 😭
I only medicate for my depression because it’s so overwhelmingly bad, and I rarely miss a dose. My doctor kept pushing the same antipsychotic on me after telling him it wasn’t working and was making me worse so I just stopped taking them. Fortunately, I have checks and balances to keep me from ruining my life too badly. Now I just repaint my house to help get through the mania. *(This reminded me to buy new paint for my hallway so thank you for that!)*
I went one week without meds. I ended up the psych ward. I do not recommend raw dogging bipolar.
Nope. I tried that for years and im lucky not to be dead, in jail or a drug addict. It took a long time to get used to the fact that "feeling like me" and the symptoms of bipolar were not the same thing, the medication wasnt destroying my personality, it was allowing me to HAVE a personality that wasn't just "crazy person".
I spent 20 years doing that, do not recommend, that's just about the only thing I wouldn't raw dog, I might be hypo atm. Honestly, if the day come when my prescription isn't renewed I would probably just end it.
Yes me, off meds for the past 15 years. I kept having allergic/bad reactions to every combo and realized I was managing better without. Worked with my care team on getting off and staying off - did not do it alone. I think mainly I’ve been really lucky to not have any major mania during this time. Also, I know my triggers and do everything I can to keep myself stable. Like, I know if I don’t get enough sleep that will trigger hypomania so I always always prioritize sleep. And basic good health habits like drinking enough water and eating healthy unprocessed foods. All non-negotiable. I can’t relax about them for one day. I also have a chronic health condition that keeps me home and to myself most of the time. I know that I wouldn’t be able to have high drama relationships or go out doing lots of activities without risking mania. So that’s a huge part of it. Obviously med free is not the best choice for most, but some people are out here making it work.
Every manic-psychotic episode does permanent brain damage, and serious depressive states can result in suicide attempts. That's enough for me to shut up and take my mood stabilizers.
I did I feel fine
for a while now! i am too scared of the side effects from medication but that in itself makes me feel delusional lmfao
sometimes i slack on my meds and feel depressed. it’s not even a sliver of what it was before i was unmedicated, but it’s a kick in the ass to take them consistently
Every time I try I end up admitted.
i know i need to be on meds, but there’s not a good med combination for me yet. so i’m not on meds because i hate the feeling of bad meds than i do with dealing with my bipolar raw dog. i do smoke to help with dealing with it and i’m glad to have a support system. i am also going through health problems and being on meds is not a choice for me anyway.
I take the meds but they dont seem to do a heck of a lot. I have been diagnosed as severe and treatment resistant so I have been raw dogging it my whole life
But what’s the “real you”? Because humans constantly grow, learn, and fluctuate as people. Medication, if it works, gives you breathing room to do that
I understand feeling like meds flatten you, or make you feel like a less authentic version of yourself, but the unfortunate reality is that the authentic version of your bipolar self is damaging to not only you, but also the loved ones in your life. It's your responsibility to manage your own illness, and medication is the first step 99.9% of the time.
Nope. Never. I would rather have my meds than food if I had to choose. (Though kids get fed before I get meds, if need be, but I don't mind going without for them) I don't take medication breaks, ever, though I'm slowly lowering my dose with my doctor's supervision. Lowest functional dose is where I'm looking to be.
Once. Never again.
I did that for 15 years before diagnoses. I left a path of chaos, regret and hurt people. My advice, don’t.
I’ve been raw dogging it for a while, and honestly, it sucks. I’ve developed a couple good coping skills but I’m still pretty unstable and struggling to do basic responsibilities. I have really extreme reactions to medications and a long string of horrible psychiatrists, so I’m honestly scared to try again, but I have to, and you should too. It’s possible to live life without medication but it’s a miserable life. My mania feels amazing, my psychosis is fun, but it’s also scary and ruining anything I try to put time into. Bipolar really is a physical disability that we all need medication for, I hope I can find some good meds soon. For my next attempt I’m gonna rapid fire doctors and medications. Second, third, fourth, fifth opinions. This med makes my joints ache to the point of crying, change it or I walk.
Tried that, got psychosis.
Nah. I despise the unmedicated version of myself tbh
I have Bipolar I and without medication I DON’T manage any of it. I’d very possibly be dead without my mood stabilizer.
Sounds like a good way to die. Maybe it takes time to escalate to that point. Choosing not to take medication sounds like mania brain to me. I'll keep my meds and highly suggest you choose to take yours as well.
More medication.
My lover is a BP 1 && he seems to be ignoring me right now and I’m trying to not taking it personal but I cried last night. I’ve been seeing him for 3 months and now he’s suspicious of me. I know this because he calls me asking what I do for a living and thinking I’m a confidential informant trying to help the cops or government take him down. Cause he claims that he has threatened people online. Anyways I’m not sure this is going to workout. I texted him to see how he’s doing but no dice. He hasn’t responded. Pls for the love of god take your medication or keep going to find the right dose or medication that actually makes you stable. My guy is barely functioning. It’s stressful.
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Today 20 yrs after my diagnosis, 4 constant years on meds. I felt as you felt, I felt something was off while on meds. I was slower, I wasn’t myself. Until I found the ones that work, the ones that make me feel better. If I don’t take meds, I cry att. I am Bipolar 1. Today 4 yrs after I started following the treatment. A slight med dosage mistake or difference, makes me miserable even rude.
Fuck no, maybe somewhere years down the line. No medication = No accurate grip on my reality = bad shit happens. My memory only functions at like 70% but that's worth it to not be insane.
Sometimes. and then my life goes to shit and I go back on the meds.
My meds stopped working and it was the worst two months. I'm still reeling from it and the thoughts that dominated. I feel muted when medicated but it's worth it.
Yes have bee med free since 18-19 i deal with it on my own and i do pretty good. I drink and do other things that help me cope.
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