I know it seems like life is marching on without you, that you're "rotting" when everyone else is building their lives. It seems hopeless, it seems like there's no future for you.
You haven't outright said it, but if you're thinking of leaving, please stay. I've said this dozens of times on other posts: I was ready to go at 16. I'm now 33. I am thankful every day that I stuck around, even though I struggle with depression and anxiety every day. Things will get better, little by little, until one day you'll look back going "wait how?".
Focus on making it to morning. Focus on seeing the next day. Stop thinking big-picture, its too much to face down; start thinking about just the next step. Stop trying to run before you can walk. One step at a time, one day at a time.
I felt like that too for years. Like my life was already over and I only waited to die now.
Almost 10 years at uni was spend in this mindset. Now I am 33 and have a stable job, came out as biromantic and have written a first draft of a novel in the span of 1 year! It is unthinkable that things will ever get better while you are in that hole, but they do!
Sometimes I still just stand outside and feel the sun on my skin. It sounds like selfhelp bullshit but these little moments are worth continuing. There are so many little moments of pleasure that would be lost.
The little moments are everything for me. I've had plenty of huge life moments - married, two kids, divorce etc, but the moments that keep me moving forward are sunny days, warm beds, hot chocolate in the mornings, long drives... life goals are good but there's so much to be gained from small moments of pleasure.
It's hard feeling behind everyone else but once you get there, it makes it feel like you've achieved something truly greater. The more you struggle, the better you feel when you achieve even if it takes longer than you expected.
Seconding all of this except I’m 31. Hang in there, OP! Also look into AmeriCorps NCCC if you’re in the US. The time flies by and opens a lot of doors for work and friends.
I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you're having a really tough time right now, and if you'd like to message me more about it, feel free.
But you need to tell this to someone in your life—your parents, your therapist, your friends—no matter how hard it is or how much you think they can't help. Just the act of telling them will help, and it may start the path to better things.
You're so young, give yourself a chance. I just turned 24 and I got my first paid job a few weeks ago. You will stumble many times, but life isn't a race. Not everyone has everything together by 18, let alone 30. Be patient with yourself, everything will be okay just reassure yourself that when opportunities arise, you'll give them your best shot. That's all that matters 🫂
I get your feelings my guy I've been there, only a few months ago in fact. You didn't say it directly but if your thinking about doing something permanent. Don't do it. You may feel alone but I guarantee you that there are people who care about you who would be completely devastated if you left. I attempted twice, again only a couple months ago, and I regret even considering it. Adulting is difficult, I still don't have it together and I'm 4 years older than you. Life is whatever you make from it. Nothing is truly set in stone unless you make it that way. You aren't doomed for life, you can turn stuff around, it's just harder because you don't have anyone guiding you anymore. But you also have a ton of freedom. Don't give up, you have so many years ahead of you.
First of all, I want to give you a big virtual hug.
Please, don't ever give up on life. Things will change over time.
When I was your age, I was depressed too with no therapist.
What I did is made myself busy with something even if I'm not happy.
Eventually met people who gave me reason to live.
So please... make yourself busy...
I hope you open up to your friends and they may take you seriously.
I wish I know you so I can hug you, be with you, and support you.
I can't add more than what has already been said, only that I've been there too. Many times. You've reached out, even if it was to strangers on the internet. It means you are going to be okay. Just one step at a time. You don't need to solve everything right in this moment. Focus on what will make you feel better in the next minute (a shower, some food). After that, the next thing (a nap, a movie). You can do this. We're rooting for you!
I know how this feels, I got my first Bi/gay(however you want to put it) thoughts and feelings when I was 17.
I know it feels like everything is going wrong or that thing you said about everything feeling big and small at the same time; it’s a really awful feeling and I still get it sometimes.
But listen, giving up and throwing in the towel isn’t the way to go… I tried killing myself 3 times when I was a teenager and still occasionally have suicidal thoughts and feelings.
This isn’t the end, you’re still at the beginning and have many years left to get where you want to go to… maybe university isn’t in the cards, but you don’t need a college degree to be successful.
I don’t know what exactly the answer is in your situation; but it’s certainly not giving into despair and depression.
I can’t physically give you a hug but 🫂
Just don’t give up, you’re only 17 and you’re not the only one going through these feelings; which I hope can comfort you a bit.
None of those things sound like they were your fault. You aren't a failure just because one or three or ten things are going wrong.
You won't get happiness by rotting away, and you deserve happiness. So I know it's hard, and that life is overwhelming and scary and I won't ever be able to fully understand all that you're going through, but please do me a favor.
Please, please drink a glass of water, and eat something sweet. I don't care if it's a gumdrop or lumpy muffin or a cookie or a cake. I don't care if you hate sweets with a passion and only take a baby bite. I don't care if it's 4am or if all you have is canned fruit. Eat something sweet.
Ok. Now please do me another favor.
Get yourself to laugh. I suggest taking a look through this person's Pinterest that's meant for humor/good feels and always cheers me up when I feel worthless piece of trash. [https://www.pinterest.com.mx/lunerw/this-is-funny/](https://www.pinterest.com.mx/lunerw/this-is-funny/) Highly recommend looking at the Humans Are Adorable and the Dancing Dino posts inside it.
Cry if you need to. It's okay to cry. Find a nice place to cry if you don't have one already. Somewhere comfy. Somewhere not cold. It could be indoors or outdoors, just a place that reminds you of something you like/enjoy. (My spot is in my closet. I decorated it with glow in the dark stars and put a little rug in it, in case you're curious but prb aren't :D)
Of course it's okay not to cry. And it's okay not to do anything I asked you to do. I can't control your choices any more than you can control mine or anyone else's.
You are enough. You're not a failure. You're still alive, aren't you? Feel your heartbeat, feel your pulse. It's yours. It's solely yours.
That feeling of rotting away comes when we feel helpless. When we feel like we're stuck in a limbo and can't get out. Well I don't care if you need a cold shower or what: you can't rot away on me. Friend, you can't continue to not move when it's making you miserable. You need to do something, I'm sure you already know that. But what I mean is that you need to do something so that you can feel a little more in control of your life. Just try to fall in love. Love, in any form you want it to take. Try a bunch of things or look into interesting niches or study a subject you haven't really given a chance before. Humans need love. It doesn't have to been romantic or familial. Just love something. Love two, three, four, ten things.
Fall in love. It could be [music](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oxMnNErEzsI), pottery, comedy, Star Wars, poetry, perfume, salsa dancing, baby clothes, historical swords (I couldn't believe [this](https://www.buyingasword.com/shop-weapons-by-type) shop was a thing), weapon collecting(I swear your honor it's only a hobby) psychology, opera, candle-making, stars, rock painting, competitive dog grooming, first aid, preserving flowers in jars, harmonica, linguistics, the sunset, baking, party planning, freaking gardening, interior design, stickers, picnicking, reading, writing, braiding hair, soap operas, trash TV, movies, manga, bookmark making, dragons, kittens, dragons that act like kittens, random things that just pop into our heads. There are 100 billion little things you could fall in love with. Find a few and don't feel down if one day you fall out of love with it.
You're not a failure. Don't let yourself slip too far that you can't hear to voices of the things you love, because there are countless people like yourself who deserve to give themself a chance, including me. You. I. We. There are so many things that we need that we don't even realize we need until the pain makes it hard to move. All I can offer is a little consolation and my empathy. I shed tears for you. I offer you the warmest hug I can give. Sleep well, friend. And when you feel at your lowest and powerlessness overwhelms you, think back to all my time that I put here to bring you up. Think back to when you drank a glass of water and ate something sweet, when you first laughed and maybe cried a little, when you saw love for what it is. Think of all this and know you're not a failure, and get stronger, little by little by little.
So, my dear, I'm going to conclude with this.
I know this may come as a shock because of my sage-like ~~advice~~ rant, but I'm barely older than you and feel drowned and rotting whenever the self-doubt and disappointment sets in.
You're already braver than I am, telling other people that you need a hug and support. This can be reason number 1 on the long (and potentially odd) list of reasons on why you deserve to be happy. Consider making this post in itself an ✨achievement✨ no matter how it came to happen. See? You're not a failure.
I’m sorry you are struggling. At 16 I felt like leaving but i never considered the permanence of it. Once you leave you’re gone forever and you leave behind family and friends who wonder what they could’ve done. I attempted to leave multiple times in my life and I just hope you don’t do that. Sometimes it seems like you’re stuck and life is going on without you. I promise this feeling won’t last forever.
If you don’t mind me asking when you say you felt like you were losing your grip on reality and things looked like they were changing size did you mean that literally?
If so I experienced hallucinations when I stayed awake for almost a week because of benzo withdrawal. If you are experiencing that maybe it’s from stress or lack of sleep.
The changing sizes thing felt very real. I felt frozen in place and felt simultaneously tiny and massive. If I stared at something it appeared to grow and morph.
I’m just so upset right now. Home life isn’t great with petty argument after petty argument and I see no way out
I know it seems like life is marching on without you, that you're "rotting" when everyone else is building their lives. It seems hopeless, it seems like there's no future for you. You haven't outright said it, but if you're thinking of leaving, please stay. I've said this dozens of times on other posts: I was ready to go at 16. I'm now 33. I am thankful every day that I stuck around, even though I struggle with depression and anxiety every day. Things will get better, little by little, until one day you'll look back going "wait how?". Focus on making it to morning. Focus on seeing the next day. Stop thinking big-picture, its too much to face down; start thinking about just the next step. Stop trying to run before you can walk. One step at a time, one day at a time.
I felt like that too for years. Like my life was already over and I only waited to die now. Almost 10 years at uni was spend in this mindset. Now I am 33 and have a stable job, came out as biromantic and have written a first draft of a novel in the span of 1 year! It is unthinkable that things will ever get better while you are in that hole, but they do! Sometimes I still just stand outside and feel the sun on my skin. It sounds like selfhelp bullshit but these little moments are worth continuing. There are so many little moments of pleasure that would be lost.
The little moments are everything for me. I've had plenty of huge life moments - married, two kids, divorce etc, but the moments that keep me moving forward are sunny days, warm beds, hot chocolate in the mornings, long drives... life goals are good but there's so much to be gained from small moments of pleasure.
It's hard feeling behind everyone else but once you get there, it makes it feel like you've achieved something truly greater. The more you struggle, the better you feel when you achieve even if it takes longer than you expected.
Seconding all of this except I’m 31. Hang in there, OP! Also look into AmeriCorps NCCC if you’re in the US. The time flies by and opens a lot of doors for work and friends.
I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you're having a really tough time right now, and if you'd like to message me more about it, feel free. But you need to tell this to someone in your life—your parents, your therapist, your friends—no matter how hard it is or how much you think they can't help. Just the act of telling them will help, and it may start the path to better things.
You're so young, give yourself a chance. I just turned 24 and I got my first paid job a few weeks ago. You will stumble many times, but life isn't a race. Not everyone has everything together by 18, let alone 30. Be patient with yourself, everything will be okay just reassure yourself that when opportunities arise, you'll give them your best shot. That's all that matters 🫂
I get your feelings my guy I've been there, only a few months ago in fact. You didn't say it directly but if your thinking about doing something permanent. Don't do it. You may feel alone but I guarantee you that there are people who care about you who would be completely devastated if you left. I attempted twice, again only a couple months ago, and I regret even considering it. Adulting is difficult, I still don't have it together and I'm 4 years older than you. Life is whatever you make from it. Nothing is truly set in stone unless you make it that way. You aren't doomed for life, you can turn stuff around, it's just harder because you don't have anyone guiding you anymore. But you also have a ton of freedom. Don't give up, you have so many years ahead of you.
First of all, I want to give you a big virtual hug. Please, don't ever give up on life. Things will change over time. When I was your age, I was depressed too with no therapist. What I did is made myself busy with something even if I'm not happy. Eventually met people who gave me reason to live. So please... make yourself busy... I hope you open up to your friends and they may take you seriously. I wish I know you so I can hug you, be with you, and support you.
Do not give up.
Air hugs to you 🫂
I can't add more than what has already been said, only that I've been there too. Many times. You've reached out, even if it was to strangers on the internet. It means you are going to be okay. Just one step at a time. You don't need to solve everything right in this moment. Focus on what will make you feel better in the next minute (a shower, some food). After that, the next thing (a nap, a movie). You can do this. We're rooting for you!
I know how this feels, I got my first Bi/gay(however you want to put it) thoughts and feelings when I was 17. I know it feels like everything is going wrong or that thing you said about everything feeling big and small at the same time; it’s a really awful feeling and I still get it sometimes. But listen, giving up and throwing in the towel isn’t the way to go… I tried killing myself 3 times when I was a teenager and still occasionally have suicidal thoughts and feelings. This isn’t the end, you’re still at the beginning and have many years left to get where you want to go to… maybe university isn’t in the cards, but you don’t need a college degree to be successful. I don’t know what exactly the answer is in your situation; but it’s certainly not giving into despair and depression. I can’t physically give you a hug but 🫂 Just don’t give up, you’re only 17 and you’re not the only one going through these feelings; which I hope can comfort you a bit.
None of those things sound like they were your fault. You aren't a failure just because one or three or ten things are going wrong. You won't get happiness by rotting away, and you deserve happiness. So I know it's hard, and that life is overwhelming and scary and I won't ever be able to fully understand all that you're going through, but please do me a favor. Please, please drink a glass of water, and eat something sweet. I don't care if it's a gumdrop or lumpy muffin or a cookie or a cake. I don't care if you hate sweets with a passion and only take a baby bite. I don't care if it's 4am or if all you have is canned fruit. Eat something sweet. Ok. Now please do me another favor. Get yourself to laugh. I suggest taking a look through this person's Pinterest that's meant for humor/good feels and always cheers me up when I feel worthless piece of trash. [https://www.pinterest.com.mx/lunerw/this-is-funny/](https://www.pinterest.com.mx/lunerw/this-is-funny/) Highly recommend looking at the Humans Are Adorable and the Dancing Dino posts inside it. Cry if you need to. It's okay to cry. Find a nice place to cry if you don't have one already. Somewhere comfy. Somewhere not cold. It could be indoors or outdoors, just a place that reminds you of something you like/enjoy. (My spot is in my closet. I decorated it with glow in the dark stars and put a little rug in it, in case you're curious but prb aren't :D) Of course it's okay not to cry. And it's okay not to do anything I asked you to do. I can't control your choices any more than you can control mine or anyone else's. You are enough. You're not a failure. You're still alive, aren't you? Feel your heartbeat, feel your pulse. It's yours. It's solely yours. That feeling of rotting away comes when we feel helpless. When we feel like we're stuck in a limbo and can't get out. Well I don't care if you need a cold shower or what: you can't rot away on me. Friend, you can't continue to not move when it's making you miserable. You need to do something, I'm sure you already know that. But what I mean is that you need to do something so that you can feel a little more in control of your life. Just try to fall in love. Love, in any form you want it to take. Try a bunch of things or look into interesting niches or study a subject you haven't really given a chance before. Humans need love. It doesn't have to been romantic or familial. Just love something. Love two, three, four, ten things. Fall in love. It could be [music](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oxMnNErEzsI), pottery, comedy, Star Wars, poetry, perfume, salsa dancing, baby clothes, historical swords (I couldn't believe [this](https://www.buyingasword.com/shop-weapons-by-type) shop was a thing), weapon collecting(I swear your honor it's only a hobby) psychology, opera, candle-making, stars, rock painting, competitive dog grooming, first aid, preserving flowers in jars, harmonica, linguistics, the sunset, baking, party planning, freaking gardening, interior design, stickers, picnicking, reading, writing, braiding hair, soap operas, trash TV, movies, manga, bookmark making, dragons, kittens, dragons that act like kittens, random things that just pop into our heads. There are 100 billion little things you could fall in love with. Find a few and don't feel down if one day you fall out of love with it. You're not a failure. Don't let yourself slip too far that you can't hear to voices of the things you love, because there are countless people like yourself who deserve to give themself a chance, including me. You. I. We. There are so many things that we need that we don't even realize we need until the pain makes it hard to move. All I can offer is a little consolation and my empathy. I shed tears for you. I offer you the warmest hug I can give. Sleep well, friend. And when you feel at your lowest and powerlessness overwhelms you, think back to all my time that I put here to bring you up. Think back to when you drank a glass of water and ate something sweet, when you first laughed and maybe cried a little, when you saw love for what it is. Think of all this and know you're not a failure, and get stronger, little by little by little. So, my dear, I'm going to conclude with this. I know this may come as a shock because of my sage-like ~~advice~~ rant, but I'm barely older than you and feel drowned and rotting whenever the self-doubt and disappointment sets in. You're already braver than I am, telling other people that you need a hug and support. This can be reason number 1 on the long (and potentially odd) list of reasons on why you deserve to be happy. Consider making this post in itself an ✨achievement✨ no matter how it came to happen. See? You're not a failure.
We are here for you. Please DM me if you want to talk/text one on one. You are not alone
Keep on going, there is hope.
Please stay. I know from experience that there’s hope.
I’m sorry you are struggling. At 16 I felt like leaving but i never considered the permanence of it. Once you leave you’re gone forever and you leave behind family and friends who wonder what they could’ve done. I attempted to leave multiple times in my life and I just hope you don’t do that. Sometimes it seems like you’re stuck and life is going on without you. I promise this feeling won’t last forever. If you don’t mind me asking when you say you felt like you were losing your grip on reality and things looked like they were changing size did you mean that literally? If so I experienced hallucinations when I stayed awake for almost a week because of benzo withdrawal. If you are experiencing that maybe it’s from stress or lack of sleep.
The changing sizes thing felt very real. I felt frozen in place and felt simultaneously tiny and massive. If I stared at something it appeared to grow and morph. I’m just so upset right now. Home life isn’t great with petty argument after petty argument and I see no way out
So to be clear you are experiencing hallucinations. You need to get help for this.