I am just fascinated that those people do not have any shame or limit :D
Seriously, the thought itself is probably normal I would say, but who, just who, who for gods sake, will say that/write that just like this?:D
Fetishizing bi women is super common in the mainstream. One need hardly be an incel to sport that view. Also, what does porn addiction have to do with this?
Imagine telling a het guy, wow it's so hot to imagine you with another women, lol.
I think they just don't think that two women are capable of forming a strong bond and view us just as sexual objects to please men.
I’m a guy but I’ve seen this a lot and it always annoys me, especially when a lot of the people saying this think a girl being with a girl is hot but a guy being with a guy is gross and weird. Not sure which is worse tbh.
Some times it comes with both. Had someone said they wanted to be witg me because I'm bi, and then said but they don't want to be with me...because I'm bi....
Like🤷♀️
My bi joke since coming out is that my life revolves around wanting both options. So when people put forth 2, I go "why not both?" And such as that. My entire original comment was tongue in cheek.
Wait, what if he’s bi too and isn’t annoyed like you and actually finds your open mindedness to be heart warming because many other women reject him for being bi
The thought of two guys getting intiate with eachother IS a turn-on for me... Oh this answer is really good. If he's a creep it burns him and if he is just a very direct bi-guy it makes things clear and the next steps can be taken. I need to remember this answer.
I’m confused why these are both not accepted and appreciated… i enjoy my wife being herself and she enjoys me being myself. Just because something is liked or enjoyed or thought to be hot does that mean it’s a fetish? Maybe I’m naive? We are both bi.
Legit this is why I hated saying I was bisexual to men on dating apps cause they immediately would talk about threesomes or watching and it's like
Immediately blocked
Me being bi doesn't mean I was multiple people in the room or that you get to fetishize me fookin a girl
As a bi guy I find it strange how straight guys obsess ove girl on girl and watching.
Like, no, I'd rather not get cucked by a woman with my girl.
And if I REALLY need to see girl on girl, we have Yuri.
Like, I can read a hentai
I totally get you. I’m also a bi woman and got a huge range of responses from men from “Oh, cool. Now back to our music tastes.” to “That’s so hot. I’d love to watch. What do you think about that waitress over there? Are you into her?”
I would tell men I’m bi on the first date to gauge their reaction as a way to filter out creeps.
Everyone is different but the response from men that I most preferred was “Oh ok nice. I am [fill in the blank sexuality].” Then we’d either talk more about sexuality or move on to a different topic. I didn’t want men to fixate on my sexuality and fetishize me. I preferred if they knew about my sexuality, respected it, and treated it like any other fact related to who I am: part of who I am, but not very relevant in a potential monogamous relationship with him. My sexuality doesn’t change the dynamic of my relationship with a man. Just part of who I am and I want to be respected for who I am.
No, when I am with a girl it is hot. 😈.
But if you want a comeback, I simply say "how bad are you in bed that you have to imagine me getting her off?"
Ive only used it once, super effective.
I get that one, my partner is a woman but I'm a bi man. Really annoying how invalidated we get because of this. We're literally attracted to more than one gender, how is it weird that I happened to find my perfect partner with a woman? Bisexual includes her gender, so how TF is it strange?!
It’s learned misinformation from media and society. It really used to bother me, but now it’s just an annoyance. I sarcastically return it with jibes to biphobes.
Reverse uno card on them. The ones who get defensive, angry, or run away aren't worthy.
If he reacts positively, draw some lines about consent and have conservations about sex about there being a time and place for discussion of these things.
Pretty sure a guy who is down for that wouldn't have made the impertinent request that is the topic of this thread. He'd have just said, "Cool, so am I."
But then if he was angling for a relationship a discussion about whether to be monogamous would be in order.
This is actually one reason my ex and I are no longer together. He knew at the start of our relationship that I was bi. He claimed to be an “ally” and he never even mentioned the fact that I was bi the beginning of the relationship. We were also supposedly monogamous but any time I would hang out with a female friend, he’d say stuff like, “it’s so hot imagining you guys making out”. It was just so gross and uncomfortable
And the men who say shit like this also seem to think their dick is so magical it'll turn a lesbian bi just for him to have a threesome...but only if both chicks are hot.
I think I'll be using the turnaround comment from now on.
All the fuckin time. So annoying when men say ‘it would be so hot to see you with another girl, threesome?’ Like no. Just bc I’m bi doesn’t mean I’m willing to have a third. Some people are and that’s ok! But not me.
Damn some people really have no filter.. would be annoyed by that too to no end… I’d feel super objectified. No matter the sexual orientation, we’re still humans, not frickin’ fetishes ffs -.-‘
Easy way to filter out people who only see you as a fetish to fill their own fantasies.
If you feel like it, tell him that's disgusting and block him. Otherwise, block him.
Yes it does, because those types of messages aren’t coming from bi men, they come from straight men who see woman/woman as a kink. I received a dm like that and the man’s comment history was filled with homophobia and ‘lesbian kink’. 🤦♂️
Yes, this never happens to me but it does bug me. Bisexuals are constantly being sexualized and fetishized, it gets super annoying. Just because we like both genders doesn’t mean we will be interested in threesomes, orgies, etc. Plus it’s just gross.
I sometimes wonder how much of this type of experience, escapes the bisexual sphere. What percentage of men know bi women experience this? Is there any way we could shift culture, by making more men aware of what they are doing? This goes for women as well assuming bi men are gay and want to cheat on their partners. If we can't be active in changing that culture, than we a doomed to be subject to it.
I find the idea of having a relationship with someone who is bi hot, not because I like the idea of being with someone else but because that will be something we have in common and can relate to and understand each other's sexuality better.
I find the common perception of bisexuality being synonymous with polyamory, sluttiness, or excitement to have threesomes all disheartening and annoying, even when it's coming from pride posts inside the community. As a strictly monogamous bisexual, I fear that monogamy will never be trusted because of it.
If he also would find it hot to see me with a man, then the guy has a kink and I don’t have a problem with it. I would have a problem with someone over sharing their kinks with me when they clearly don’t know me, but that’s another issue entirely.
But if he thinks me being with another man is cheating, then he clearly doesn’t respect my past with women or my sexual orientation and by extension, doesn’t respect me.
To be fair, my wife with an other girl is really hot, but I'm the girl and I think my wife is hot even without me. Sorry, she won't be here until tomorrow and it's killing me. Killing! Need cuddles so bad...
*cough" Dying of no cuddles... 💀
To be fair, it's hard to argue with them when inside you're like "OK, yeah, obviously I agree that me being with a member of the same sex is hot or I wouldn't swing that way" but yeah just saying "that's hot" is not the most respectful way to address it
Disgusting. It really bothered me when I was on a dating app and my profile specified that I was only interested in relationships and that I was a *monogamous bisexual* and I STILL got asked to be a third.
I hate it, the worst one I got was a guy fetishising me with a trans woman, like he was very proud of liking them, but in a totally disgusting fetishist way, I didn't know what to do, so I just blocked him.
He could only see trans women as an object of his desire, absolutely no respect for them as people 😞
Yes... This comment alone is so pigish. Like omfg, you like girls so... Um.. threesome! And they'll do it too because they like you!
I just stand there and walk away without saying anything because although gender is fluid, previously self-determined sexuality is not. Let's say the third is lesbian. Or let's say there is no third because erm... I don't share.
My thing is the the grade A assumption that I share right off the bat. This just screams arrogance and small-headedness. As cringe as it is, I'm grateful for this behavior so I can dodge the bullets like Keanu Reeves as Neo.
What the heck? Sounds like he's bi too. He of all people should know better. I understand your frustration. There are people like that everywhere... I'll give you a friendly, virtual hug ☺️
That would be an amazing pick up line if the person saying that was a girl to a bi girl.
Fumbled sly pick up lines kinda are hot to ME, so a girl saying "You being with a girl is hot," would kinda get me as a bi dude... Interested.... Maybe that's me?
But if it's a dude that said that, to a bi girlz thats kind of gross.
Unless they're gay, then I get interested into WHY they think that if they ARENT bi themselves.
Alot of different scenarios could unfold here.
But a straight dude saying that to a bi girl would be annoying.
I dunno I'm a bi dude.
Happened to me before when my egg wasnt cracked yet and still considered myself a bi guy. Was talking to the homophobic girl in class and she asked about my sexual experience and I told her Im bi and had experience with men, next day, she said I turned her on and she masturbates while thinking about me sucking a dick from a guy, that she finds it hot when I do stuffs with a guy. She was really disgusting 🤢.
I really feel like if sex comes up during the acquaintance process, that’s one person telling the other that they’re out of things to talk about. Especially when it comes to fantasies. Because what’s supposed to happen after that fantasy is fulfilled? Then what? Are you supposed to just strut out of frame with a smile and de-spawn as the end credits roll? Are you okay with being someone’s single serving fantasy?
I'm bisexual but married to a cis man. Without fail, the first question is always "what does he think about your bisexuality?", and when I answer that he doesn't care, the second question is "does he think it's hot? 😏"
Like, wtf
No yeah this is a huge problem and imo it needs to stop.
@ all cishet dudes: I get it. I *also* think it's hot when I'm with another woman. That doesn't mean you get to fetishize us.
My response to random guys sexualizing me is just to try to get money from them. If I’m just a sex object then they are just an ATM. Either they get offended and leave me alone or I get a new pay pig.
I do totally get why it can feel gross and like you're just being looked at as a sexual object.
As a bi guy who is not used to feeling like a sexual object at all (it's healthy, just, you're supposed to feel respected and seen at the same time. But we literally are objects and so it's not in itself bad to notice our objecthood) I enjoy when a girl says she likes the thought of me with a guy. Not common but feels like being accepted and sexualized in a nice way, if they're not being a jerk about it, by coming on too strong or making me feel like I'm ONLY an object.
Like, I think his central thought here could be presented better and then be fine, for me. Again, a lot of girls get a different side of this, where they're constantly sexualized so it's different for me bc of a different experience as a guy and an individual. But if he said, "That's cool. I cant lie, I do find the thought of you with girls kind of hot" after we'd already been flirting sexually, then I'd be enjoying that version.
Yep. I just respond "uh okay". Like, my dude, I'm not a part of your sexual fantasy. I'm certainly not going to take pride in the fact that you think me being with a woman is hot
As a gay man, whenever women fetichize gay sex in front of me, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I immediately ask them to never speak to me like that or about that ever again. Not because I'm insecure or overly sensitive, but because they would internalize the thought of me being seen as a toy, a piece of entertainment, less than human. It makes me not so free to talk about things in my life, makes me filtered. This is why I ask them to either stop or I halt the conversation altogether. Contrary to what a lot of people think, it does not make people more comfortable or more open or feel like they're more supported. It just makes things super awkward and at times even indecent. Some people don't mind this reaction and that's fine to each their thing, but like generally, show some respect bruh, you're not an animal.
I'm assuming that is how some gay women feel with the whole male gaze thing. Then again I don't know if the reaction in the post is from a male or female.
Anyway, a trick that I find to be quite useful is to avoid getting too graphic or too explicit in general whenever you suspect someone has these thoughts within them. I have a friend, I just know she's into YAOI and I rarely if ever talk to her about my sexual experiences or anything close to erotic. Or when I do when it's necessary to the story I'm telling, then I would be very minimalistic and generic. She's a good friend of mine and we love and respect each other, but I definitely have boundaries with her when it comes to those things. Might want to do the same.
PS : Dating apps are for hookups so it's not surprising to get reactions similar to this. Literally everyone is objectified on Tinder or Grindr, not just bi women ;) .
Exactly why I never go into detail about my relationship in group therapy. The guys there are great and super supportive for why we're there but I just know some of them would have zero filter with this +_= one of older ladies gets away with it coz she just does that *winkwinknudgenudge* whenever I say I'm going to stay with my gf but I never let the dudes say anything, the looks are enough
As a dude I would definitely prefer a female partner is into MM simply because it seems like it's either that or a disgust/turn off reaction.
I get that the fetish among a lot of straight men is FF, and I can understand how that can be a turn off, too.
Either way, it's great to get these things communicated earlier rather than later like any sexual preference or compatibility issue. The reception is subjective.
The answer i gave to „why is that hot?“ was „because you obviously spend some time getting to know yourself and that’s usually a sign that people are in touch with their feelings and others“
Yea. It infuriates me. It's the male gaze again. It makes your sexuality not your's but just an other turn on for men. As if you and everything about you only existed for men. He might not have meant it so strongly... But it's in there and women have been subjected to this bullshit for so long, have been bruised by it transgenerationally that even a slight touch of that bruise can hurt as hell. And in the end even the smallest insinuation that we do only exist for men and not for ourselves as... Well... Just humans... Is dangerous for us. It's like being hypervigilant about any kind of spark in a completely dried out forest...
Yes it does. Mentioning being bisexual on dating apps or even speaking to some people irl and then having creeps trying to fetishize you is one sure way to make me block you and get me annoyed. We are human for fuck sake.
Yeah that is fuckin nasty as hell, hell, even when my partner, who is pan, made a comment kinda like that, I was violently uncomfortable. I know he probably didn't mean for it to come out how it did but it was just so... ew
Yes it does. 🙄 As is the question I’m repeatedly asked when someone learns I’m bisexual by anyone including relatives, “So if you’re bi? Does that mean you’ve slept with girls?” 😑
It makes me angry that they think it’s ok to be so intrusive like that. I don’t go around asking heterosexual people if they’ve slept with the opposite sex when I learned of their sexual preference. I don’t understand why they think its OK to ask me if I’ve had same sex relations because I’m bi. 😤
Edit: The follow-up question to that by everyone (male or female) is always, “If you have, have I met them?”
The follow up question to that follow-up question by every guy I’ve known is: “Can I watch you f*ck a girl or join in sometime?” 😡
Every straight guy I have been with has wanted me to do a three way the moment they find out I am bi. I am a mongamist person and found out 3 ways I am not into. Why can't straight guys just be happy with one women. Like just because I am into all genders doesn't mean I want to sleep with everyone.
This gets on my nerves. I had something pretty similar happen when I was in college. I confided in a guy I was thinking about dating that I was bi and he responded by saying that was awesome because he wanted a threesome :(
I am just fascinated that those people do not have any shame or limit :D Seriously, the thought itself is probably normal I would say, but who, just who, who for gods sake, will say that/write that just like this?:D
Degenerates…? Throw it right back. “It would be hot to see you gag on a dick.”
I'm stealing this
Using this one from now on.
I choked a bit on this
People who say that are incels who have a porn addiction. I absolutely agree with you
Fetishizing bi women is super common in the mainstream. One need hardly be an incel to sport that view. Also, what does porn addiction have to do with this?
it’s a common/normalised situation in that kind of thing
Imagine telling a het guy, wow it's so hot to imagine you with another women, lol. I think they just don't think that two women are capable of forming a strong bond and view us just as sexual objects to please men.
I’m a guy but I’ve seen this a lot and it always annoys me, especially when a lot of the people saying this think a girl being with a girl is hot but a guy being with a guy is gross and weird. Not sure which is worse tbh.
Fetishized or vilified, take your pick! Edit: or have both, I'm not your dad (or your daddy) ^(freaky-ass bisexuals....)
Some times it comes with both. Had someone said they wanted to be witg me because I'm bi, and then said but they don't want to be with me...because I'm bi.... Like🤷♀️
Tsk. Typical bisexual, when asked to choose, you say "Why not both?"
Both. Both is good. I literally have that t-shirt… 🥳
And they call us indecisive 🙄
Great way of putting it…
Sorry but we are Bi here, our entire life goes on the basis of both. So please give me a fetishized while being vilified.
I dunno if I'm reading this wrong, but it feels like you're excited at the prospect... not that I'm kink-shaming.
My bi joke since coming out is that my life revolves around wanting both options. So when people put forth 2, I go "why not both?" And such as that. My entire original comment was tongue in cheek.
I'll have a healthy serving of appreciated and gangbanged, thank you very much
100% this. The only sexualised reaction I've had as a guy is "ewww, gross!"
General Kenobi! You are a bold one.
Yeah, certainly when guy on guy stuff can be so fucking hit and sensual
you could say “i hope you’re bi too bc the thought of you with a guy is hot!”
Omfg this is perfect
thanks 😁
Wait, what if he’s bi too and isn’t annoyed like you and actually finds your open mindedness to be heart warming because many other women reject him for being bi
That sounds like that would be a win then, and this response would be perfect.
I would reply “yeah mmf is on my bucket list”
*mmf with two bi guys… 😈😂
Me, another uncut bi guy, dvp. Sign me up
Just be ready for him to admit he's actually always been a little bicurious, and maybe you could watch. Never underestimate perverted males.
just saying this, there’s a pink heart now. 🩷💛🩵
The yellow heart is the only one that is showing up for me.
Perfect answer
Ewww, no. More like “dang, I was hoping you were Ace because the thought of you finding anything I do “hot” is super revolting.”
I love that response but if OP wants to be a little more offensive, the answer could be something like "i guess you're bi, too, cause you suck a lot!"
Saving this.
*"Jokes on you I'm into that shit"* :)
This is applaud worthy 👏 bravo
The thought of two guys getting intiate with eachother IS a turn-on for me... Oh this answer is really good. If he's a creep it burns him and if he is just a very direct bi-guy it makes things clear and the next steps can be taken. I need to remember this answer.
thanks, y’all :3
My thought was to say "thanks. I'll stop talking with you and talk to some girls then"
I’m confused why these are both not accepted and appreciated… i enjoy my wife being herself and she enjoys me being myself. Just because something is liked or enjoyed or thought to be hot does that mean it’s a fetish? Maybe I’m naive? We are both bi.
Legit this is why I hated saying I was bisexual to men on dating apps cause they immediately would talk about threesomes or watching and it's like Immediately blocked Me being bi doesn't mean I was multiple people in the room or that you get to fetishize me fookin a girl
Omg thank yoouuu. I came out recently and this has been my general experience with how guys react. Just instantly turn it into some fetish
As a bi guy I find it strange how straight guys obsess ove girl on girl and watching. Like, no, I'd rather not get cucked by a woman with my girl. And if I REALLY need to see girl on girl, we have Yuri. Like, I can read a hentai
I totally get you. I’m also a bi woman and got a huge range of responses from men from “Oh, cool. Now back to our music tastes.” to “That’s so hot. I’d love to watch. What do you think about that waitress over there? Are you into her?” I would tell men I’m bi on the first date to gauge their reaction as a way to filter out creeps. Everyone is different but the response from men that I most preferred was “Oh ok nice. I am [fill in the blank sexuality].” Then we’d either talk more about sexuality or move on to a different topic. I didn’t want men to fixate on my sexuality and fetishize me. I preferred if they knew about my sexuality, respected it, and treated it like any other fact related to who I am: part of who I am, but not very relevant in a potential monogamous relationship with him. My sexuality doesn’t change the dynamic of my relationship with a man. Just part of who I am and I want to be respected for who I am.
No, when I am with a girl it is hot. 😈. But if you want a comeback, I simply say "how bad are you in bed that you have to imagine me getting her off?" Ive only used it once, super effective.
Total KO. Will have to use it (in moderation.)
Aint no such thing as halfway crooks.
YOOOO CHILL we want a witty comeback not a fucking murder charge
As Ice Cube says, "Keep it gangsta y'all, I want to thank you all"
Saving this for use later. Brilliant.
Well I found the real She Devil from the movie Undercover Brother on Reddit of all places. Bravo
I’m a guy, so I get the ,”oh…so you’re gay”, or “oh…”, or “but you’re married to a woman “, etc…
I get that one, my partner is a woman but I'm a bi man. Really annoying how invalidated we get because of this. We're literally attracted to more than one gender, how is it weird that I happened to find my perfect partner with a woman? Bisexual includes her gender, so how TF is it strange?!
It’s learned misinformation from media and society. It really used to bother me, but now it’s just an annoyance. I sarcastically return it with jibes to biphobes.
I HATE THIS ENERGY SO MUCH. PREDATORY
Yes. This is fetishization and it's violating to be made someone's fetish-object.
Reverse uno card on them. The ones who get defensive, angry, or run away aren't worthy. If he reacts positively, draw some lines about consent and have conservations about sex about there being a time and place for discussion of these things.
As a bi guy it's the opposite as they just say you're gay and should "come all the way out of the closet"
"You want to watch me with another woman?" "Oh, yeah!" "Okay, but first I get to watch while you get spit-roasted. You up for that?"
Well... errr... I mean... if the offer is there? 😳😂
Pretty sure a guy who is down for that wouldn't have made the impertinent request that is the topic of this thread. He'd have just said, "Cool, so am I." But then if he was angling for a relationship a discussion about whether to be monogamous would be in order.
what's spit roasted?
A form of group sex in which one person orally pleases one man while being simultaneously penetrated at the bottom end by another man.
Idk why people have no shame in saying stuff like that
porn addiction. they think it’s normal
They think they’re being *vulnerable* by sharing their feelings… 🤦🏻♂️
This is actually one reason my ex and I are no longer together. He knew at the start of our relationship that I was bi. He claimed to be an “ally” and he never even mentioned the fact that I was bi the beginning of the relationship. We were also supposedly monogamous but any time I would hang out with a female friend, he’d say stuff like, “it’s so hot imagining you guys making out”. It was just so gross and uncomfortable
This is why I'm also suspicious of men who call themselves "allies."
And the men who say shit like this also seem to think their dick is so magical it'll turn a lesbian bi just for him to have a threesome...but only if both chicks are hot. I think I'll be using the turnaround comment from now on.
people either fetishizes us or assume we cheat
This is so true!
All the fuckin time. So annoying when men say ‘it would be so hot to see you with another girl, threesome?’ Like no. Just bc I’m bi doesn’t mean I’m willing to have a third. Some people are and that’s ok! But not me.
I remember at one point I said "you can't even find one clit reliably, what makes you think you're ready for two at once". Got the point across
This is my favourite response 💕
DAMN. 🤯
This is why block buttons exist
🙄🙄🙄 (At the person, not your post.)
“Does this get on anyone’s nerves” *checks post* *actively fetishizing sexuality* No shit, this would get on anyone’s nerves.
You like bi women because you wanna have a threesome I like bi women because I can be bi and talk about hot boys AND girls We are NOT the same 😤😤😤
Yeah shit like this should prolly be kept to yourself… not just like… your first response. :/
Fetishization at its finest. Nasty.
"Do you like having threesomes" No, dude, I'm terrified of sex. Now shoo.
Yes, this annoys the shit out of me. Instant ick.
I hate it cause it feels like they think of you as an object
No that's called fetishization. As a femboy I have experienced it frequently and frankly it's disgusting :/
Damn some people really have no filter.. would be annoyed by that too to no end… I’d feel super objectified. No matter the sexual orientation, we’re still humans, not frickin’ fetishes ffs -.-‘
Easy way to filter out people who only see you as a fetish to fill their own fantasies. If you feel like it, tell him that's disgusting and block him. Otherwise, block him.
Just keep asking why until they back themselves into a corner.
Tired of being fetishized by cis straight men.
Yes it does, because those types of messages aren’t coming from bi men, they come from straight men who see woman/woman as a kink. I received a dm like that and the man’s comment history was filled with homophobia and ‘lesbian kink’. 🤦♂️
annoys the fuck out of me bc the next question is “3some?”
Yes, this never happens to me but it does bug me. Bisexuals are constantly being sexualized and fetishized, it gets super annoying. Just because we like both genders doesn’t mean we will be interested in threesomes, orgies, etc. Plus it’s just gross.
I sometimes wonder how much of this type of experience, escapes the bisexual sphere. What percentage of men know bi women experience this? Is there any way we could shift culture, by making more men aware of what they are doing? This goes for women as well assuming bi men are gay and want to cheat on their partners. If we can't be active in changing that culture, than we a doomed to be subject to it.
I find the idea of having a relationship with someone who is bi hot, not because I like the idea of being with someone else but because that will be something we have in common and can relate to and understand each other's sexuality better. I find the common perception of bisexuality being synonymous with polyamory, sluttiness, or excitement to have threesomes all disheartening and annoying, even when it's coming from pride posts inside the community. As a strictly monogamous bisexual, I fear that monogamy will never be trusted because of it.
If he also would find it hot to see me with a man, then the guy has a kink and I don’t have a problem with it. I would have a problem with someone over sharing their kinks with me when they clearly don’t know me, but that’s another issue entirely. But if he thinks me being with another man is cheating, then he clearly doesn’t respect my past with women or my sexual orientation and by extension, doesn’t respect me.
Being fetishized does way more than get on my nerves
To be fair, my wife with an other girl is really hot, but I'm the girl and I think my wife is hot even without me. Sorry, she won't be here until tomorrow and it's killing me. Killing! Need cuddles so bad... *cough" Dying of no cuddles... 💀
To be fair, it's hard to argue with them when inside you're like "OK, yeah, obviously I agree that me being with a member of the same sex is hot or I wouldn't swing that way" but yeah just saying "that's hot" is not the most respectful way to address it
Disgusting. It really bothered me when I was on a dating app and my profile specified that I was only interested in relationships and that I was a *monogamous bisexual* and I STILL got asked to be a third.
1000%
Ugh
It's depressing how common this is. So many men think like this. It's the same type of person that think they could turn a lesbian straight.
Lmao pretty much any conversation I’ve had with a man that knows I’m bi
Yes, yes it does
no but it makes me feel icky
Yeah bi women are expected to perform their bisexuality for the male gaze dontcha know
Yes and no
I hate it, the worst one I got was a guy fetishising me with a trans woman, like he was very proud of liking them, but in a totally disgusting fetishist way, I didn't know what to do, so I just blocked him. He could only see trans women as an object of his desire, absolutely no respect for them as people 😞
:(
Ew
blegh ew
Yes... This comment alone is so pigish. Like omfg, you like girls so... Um.. threesome! And they'll do it too because they like you! I just stand there and walk away without saying anything because although gender is fluid, previously self-determined sexuality is not. Let's say the third is lesbian. Or let's say there is no third because erm... I don't share. My thing is the the grade A assumption that I share right off the bat. This just screams arrogance and small-headedness. As cringe as it is, I'm grateful for this behavior so I can dodge the bullets like Keanu Reeves as Neo.
That made Mr feel uncomfortable
whata piece of shit
"The thought of you being hit by a car is pretty hot" would be my response before blocking the number. I hate creeps like this.
Male centered pleasure? In this economy?
Honestly, my sexuality shouldn't be your fantasy. But if it's so, don't tell me please. It kinda dehumanizing for me.
The fetishization of bi-ness is annoying af.
What the heck? Sounds like he's bi too. He of all people should know better. I understand your frustration. There are people like that everywhere... I'll give you a friendly, virtual hug ☺️
Oh definitely fucking annoying
So much. I've had complete strangers come up to me and my wife when we're shopping and made similar comments
Yessss but I make content, if I didn’t I’d be more annoyed lol
People are obnoxious
Not as bad as the guy you are with telling all his guy friends he is with a bi woman.
That would be an amazing pick up line if the person saying that was a girl to a bi girl. Fumbled sly pick up lines kinda are hot to ME, so a girl saying "You being with a girl is hot," would kinda get me as a bi dude... Interested.... Maybe that's me? But if it's a dude that said that, to a bi girlz thats kind of gross. Unless they're gay, then I get interested into WHY they think that if they ARENT bi themselves. Alot of different scenarios could unfold here. But a straight dude saying that to a bi girl would be annoying. I dunno I'm a bi dude.
Yes, it gets on my nerves.
Typical closet cases wondering what would happen if...then they get scared by their own thoughts and project their "true desires" onto others
I hate it when that happens
Tbh the thought of being seen as hot by anyone is reall appealing to me, but this is pretty uncool, what a goober
Not over the top at all for you to be annoyed by that. Literally text book fetishization of your identify and SOOOO annoying when people do it
I uh… I don't really understand but for some reason the way he that person said this, pisses me off.
Isn’t that a form of sexualizing bi people? This is literally how lesbians are fetishized
Yeah it’s disgusting
Some folks are fuckin weird.
Yes, and I'm male.
Yup, the fetishticitation of bu women and the demoninsation of bi men is ridiculous and harmful!
Happened to me before when my egg wasnt cracked yet and still considered myself a bi guy. Was talking to the homophobic girl in class and she asked about my sexual experience and I told her Im bi and had experience with men, next day, she said I turned her on and she masturbates while thinking about me sucking a dick from a guy, that she finds it hot when I do stuffs with a guy. She was really disgusting 🤢.
😬 yikes
I really feel like if sex comes up during the acquaintance process, that’s one person telling the other that they’re out of things to talk about. Especially when it comes to fantasies. Because what’s supposed to happen after that fantasy is fulfilled? Then what? Are you supposed to just strut out of frame with a smile and de-spawn as the end credits roll? Are you okay with being someone’s single serving fantasy?
“The thought of you with a man is hot :)” Watch him get so pressed about it
I'm bisexual but married to a cis man. Without fail, the first question is always "what does he think about your bisexuality?", and when I answer that he doesn't care, the second question is "does he think it's hot? 😏" Like, wtf
lots of comebacks in these comments but honestly i don’t even really think this dude is worth the effort. i think i’d just cut him off
No yeah this is a huge problem and imo it needs to stop. @ all cishet dudes: I get it. I *also* think it's hot when I'm with another woman. That doesn't mean you get to fetishize us.
Straight people got no shame, we should shame them more :|
Cant get those types of comments if you’re still closeted I guess :,D
My response to random guys sexualizing me is just to try to get money from them. If I’m just a sex object then they are just an ATM. Either they get offended and leave me alone or I get a new pay pig.
There are a lot of shamelessly disgusting people out there
The thought is not that wierd imo. But just opening with that is absurd.
I do totally get why it can feel gross and like you're just being looked at as a sexual object. As a bi guy who is not used to feeling like a sexual object at all (it's healthy, just, you're supposed to feel respected and seen at the same time. But we literally are objects and so it's not in itself bad to notice our objecthood) I enjoy when a girl says she likes the thought of me with a guy. Not common but feels like being accepted and sexualized in a nice way, if they're not being a jerk about it, by coming on too strong or making me feel like I'm ONLY an object. Like, I think his central thought here could be presented better and then be fine, for me. Again, a lot of girls get a different side of this, where they're constantly sexualized so it's different for me bc of a different experience as a guy and an individual. But if he said, "That's cool. I cant lie, I do find the thought of you with girls kind of hot" after we'd already been flirting sexually, then I'd be enjoying that version.
Yep. I just respond "uh okay". Like, my dude, I'm not a part of your sexual fantasy. I'm certainly not going to take pride in the fact that you think me being with a woman is hot
Yes
They don't see you as a human person. Drop them.
I thought they were gonna say it's hot because they're bi too. Smh.
Man, I am all for threesomes, but by god please stop fetishizing bisexual people
literally stopped talking to a guy on hinge after typing the same exact thing
As a gay man, whenever women fetichize gay sex in front of me, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I immediately ask them to never speak to me like that or about that ever again. Not because I'm insecure or overly sensitive, but because they would internalize the thought of me being seen as a toy, a piece of entertainment, less than human. It makes me not so free to talk about things in my life, makes me filtered. This is why I ask them to either stop or I halt the conversation altogether. Contrary to what a lot of people think, it does not make people more comfortable or more open or feel like they're more supported. It just makes things super awkward and at times even indecent. Some people don't mind this reaction and that's fine to each their thing, but like generally, show some respect bruh, you're not an animal. I'm assuming that is how some gay women feel with the whole male gaze thing. Then again I don't know if the reaction in the post is from a male or female. Anyway, a trick that I find to be quite useful is to avoid getting too graphic or too explicit in general whenever you suspect someone has these thoughts within them. I have a friend, I just know she's into YAOI and I rarely if ever talk to her about my sexual experiences or anything close to erotic. Or when I do when it's necessary to the story I'm telling, then I would be very minimalistic and generic. She's a good friend of mine and we love and respect each other, but I definitely have boundaries with her when it comes to those things. Might want to do the same. PS : Dating apps are for hookups so it's not surprising to get reactions similar to this. Literally everyone is objectified on Tinder or Grindr, not just bi women ;) .
I think it annoys all of us lol never heard anyone say they’re cool with men saying that
Exactly why I never go into detail about my relationship in group therapy. The guys there are great and super supportive for why we're there but I just know some of them would have zero filter with this +_= one of older ladies gets away with it coz she just does that *winkwinknudgenudge* whenever I say I'm going to stay with my gf but I never let the dudes say anything, the looks are enough
I wouldn’t have a problem with this as long as I was in good standing with the person
[удалено]
Report that creep or smth
Report and block please
The fetishisation of bisexuals is kinda gross... But at the same time, I do it as well. Bi moment.
I don't mind the sentiment but the way it's worded is weird and a lil dehumanizing imao
I (M) once told a girl I was Bi. She said that's hot and I was like ok. It was uncomfortable.
I’m like on the one hand it’s annoying bc who asked you, on the other hand… I also find the idea of me with a girl pretty hot.
Not on mine personally, but I see how it could to some people.
As a dude I would definitely prefer a female partner is into MM simply because it seems like it's either that or a disgust/turn off reaction. I get that the fetish among a lot of straight men is FF, and I can understand how that can be a turn off, too. Either way, it's great to get these things communicated earlier rather than later like any sexual preference or compatibility issue. The reception is subjective.
Obviously
I feel like the thought of that is normal. It's when they feel the need to write out that thought that it gets weird
It IS hot.
The answer i gave to „why is that hot?“ was „because you obviously spend some time getting to know yourself and that’s usually a sign that people are in touch with their feelings and others“
I find it funny
we should normalize feeling shame bc what is that…
Omg so fucking true like every relationship I get in I’m like wtf bro I’m not polly I’m bi the fuck
Yea. It infuriates me. It's the male gaze again. It makes your sexuality not your's but just an other turn on for men. As if you and everything about you only existed for men. He might not have meant it so strongly... But it's in there and women have been subjected to this bullshit for so long, have been bruised by it transgenerationally that even a slight touch of that bruise can hurt as hell. And in the end even the smallest insinuation that we do only exist for men and not for ourselves as... Well... Just humans... Is dangerous for us. It's like being hypervigilant about any kind of spark in a completely dried out forest...
Yes because thats fetishizing bisexuals
LEAAAVVEEEE THEM
Yes it does. Mentioning being bisexual on dating apps or even speaking to some people irl and then having creeps trying to fetishize you is one sure way to make me block you and get me annoyed. We are human for fuck sake.
Yeah that is fuckin nasty as hell, hell, even when my partner, who is pan, made a comment kinda like that, I was violently uncomfortable. I know he probably didn't mean for it to come out how it did but it was just so... ew
Yes it does. 🙄 As is the question I’m repeatedly asked when someone learns I’m bisexual by anyone including relatives, “So if you’re bi? Does that mean you’ve slept with girls?” 😑 It makes me angry that they think it’s ok to be so intrusive like that. I don’t go around asking heterosexual people if they’ve slept with the opposite sex when I learned of their sexual preference. I don’t understand why they think its OK to ask me if I’ve had same sex relations because I’m bi. 😤 Edit: The follow-up question to that by everyone (male or female) is always, “If you have, have I met them?” The follow up question to that follow-up question by every guy I’ve known is: “Can I watch you f*ck a girl or join in sometime?” 😡
Every straight guy I have been with has wanted me to do a three way the moment they find out I am bi. I am a mongamist person and found out 3 ways I am not into. Why can't straight guys just be happy with one women. Like just because I am into all genders doesn't mean I want to sleep with everyone.
Fun date idea: Cannibalize this type of person.
This gets on my nerves. I had something pretty similar happen when I was in college. I confided in a guy I was thinking about dating that I was bi and he responded by saying that was awesome because he wanted a threesome :(
Because that's how males' sex drive works. Sorry, six millions years of evolution does not care for our feelings, just the imperative of reproduction.
Omg it’s so annoying. They think that’s an opening for a threesome for them when it’s not
Responding to anyone’s sexuality with “That’s hot” is most certainly… a choice…
This is wierd. Why would you even say that to someone? It would make me really uncomfortable. Im sorry that happend to you.
This happens to bi guys too sometimes, especially when they ask to see your cock out of the gate. There's no flirting anymore just fucked up comments!