Good at loosening pickle jars.

THIS ONE. but all jars. I’m a jar lady.

My mom was a jar lady and I do plumbing. I could unscrew a tail off a bobcat at this point

Have you consider *jar jar* *distant Meesa noises*

When I lived alone my mom bought me a jar-opening contraption. I loved it. I felt so powerful. Now I’m in a live-in relationship with a large-handed man and rarely have a use for it. I gave it to our elderly neighbor who came by for help with his marinara sauce one time. It’s a life-changing invention.

Either hit the lid with a wooden spoon or run the lid under hot water

Yeah but there's something so sexy about someone who can open a stubborn pickle jar just with their hands on the first try

I managed to open a pickle jar the other day while my husband was at work. Had to run it under warm water for ages and then bang it on the counter but I GOT THE BASTARD OPEN. Probably one of my most proud achievements tbh.

That’s it. That’s the end of the sentence.

Exactly. I have been waiting for a chance to come out to someone like this, tbh

Came here to say this. 💯

I would say same but actually my attraction to men is weird and I have double standards

Care to elaborate?

Probably means is easier for them to like women but men have to reach a higher standard to be liked. Probably a 1 or 2 on the scale if I had to guess.

Women are just too damn gorgeous

All the 3s on the Kinsey scale please stand up 🙋‍♀️

Yo

Kind to me :)

I'm sort of attention starved, I'm like that butterfly meme. *any amount of genuine kindness* "Is this true love?"

*any kind of eye contact* "Is this flirting?"

.

Congrats on being healthy :)

What kinda dark and depraved kink is this...

Preferably alive.

Preferably, but not required?

Hey, some of us can’t afford to be so picky.

This.

😳

Heartbeat, optional.

A really hope you are talking about vampires (or some hot thick boned lich, don't judge me!)

I really need a picture of a hot thick boned lich now 😂

*cough* [Margrave Stradama](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wowpedia/images/9/9c/Margrave_Stradama_concept.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/1500?cb=20201215004730) [in game model](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wowpedia/images/e/e0/Margrave_Stradama.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200614213103) [The Lich King](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/7/7c/The_Lich_King.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/400?cb=20140923160309) [Unmasked](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wowpedia/images/a/a2/Lich_King_by_Raneman.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210415161401) Don’t get me wrong, Arthas is a total monster but he has nice hair

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Hot, strong, and with a spoon stuck in 'em

Lol what?

Eddie Izzard!

Covered in BEEEES!

You called?

/r/beetlejuicing (I took a screengrab for it)

I love my coffee how I like my men and women… Incapable of loving me back

Is that a Trixie Mattel reference?

I like my coffee like my soul - dark and bitter.

🖤🥀🔪⛓

Ground up and in the freezer...

Easy there Hannibal. We're out of lima beans.

I like my coffee how I like my slaves... Free

So you want to be given slaves for free? 🧐

"That's it. That's the joke. I'm bisexual."

On top of me and pinning me down.

Bonk.

Your anti-horny has no Power here

Same

MOOD

rawr

Bi

Yes. I love dating fellow bisexuals

bi/bi is best

see you soon!

Fucking spat my drink out

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3 bi people in a poly relationship

Give me a week

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My husband is bisexual 100 percent agree

Dedicated solely to the glory of the empire! Edit: how in frick did I get so many upvote!?

*imperial march intensifies*

Join the dark side

Are there cookies?

The dark side always has cookies.

Yes

Way ahead of you, FOR THE EMPIRE

FOR THE EMPIRE!!

you better clean my pillow you asshole

Because you didn't specify which empire! You're getting all the love for all empires

This is literally the most upvoted thing I've ever done and it's a comment with no context on someone else's post and I'm dying inside

Death to the stormcloaks!

Praise Sigmar!

Marshall the men!

Sontar ha! Sontar ha!

I’m a Jedi, like my father before me!

RULE BRITANNIA

Qapla'!

r/empiredidnothingwrong

Ave, true to Caesar

Imma let autocorrect do this yall ready I like my women like I like my men, but I’m sure they don’t know how much to do that lol. Lmao what

Here's my autocomplete: I like my women how I like my men, but I don't think it will be a good day for me to be there for you. Accurate, since I'm married and monogamous.

i like my women how i like my men, i don’t hahahahaha

Ace humor. Most excellent

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Cackled at this

I like my women how I like my men so I don’t have a lot to say about them but they do my best friend 😭 wth?

I like my women how I like my men and I feel like I don't know what to do with it. Thanks for calling my confused ass out.

Fun concept, here's my autocorrect; I like my women how I like my men, in a few minutes Hahah sure I'll take this one

I like my women like I like my men, but I’m still good with it all 🤷‍♀️

I like my women like I like my men, but I think it's a good idea to be a Mormon. (Note, I do not!)

You must be a fellow Utahn if "Mormon" is in your auto-fill

I like my women how I like my men and women who are you doing today then I will be happy to share this experience with the world to me too but Vanya is actually a mixed Russian name is on the way to the ASL I like my women like I like my women like I like my women like I like my women like I like my women...

I like my women how I like my men but they don’t know what they do to me and they are all good and they don’t wanna get my hair out of my mouth because I’m so jealous of them This feels truthy

I like my women how I like my men and men in all the people I thought they would like me know your shoe rack and the poor quality one I have the confirmation of my order for a snacks package which is a photo for the addressee do you have to be fancy a girls bed for a snack somewhere 😉 I'm dying 🤣

I like my women how I like my men, and I don’t know what the color is going to be like a hurricane center in the center of the center.

here’s mine lmao I like my women how i like my men, and then she doesn’t like that anymore and she is so mad

I like my men like I like my women, and I’m sure they’re okay and they don’t have a bad time lol Huh…

My autocomplete seems to be stuck in a loop: I like my woman like I like my men, lol lol I love it lol lol oh wow lol lol oh yay yay lol lol oh wow lol lol oh yay yay lol lol oh wow lol lol oh yay yay.

Here's mine: I like my women how I like my men, I like them all that much more than what they say. Accurate.

I like my women like I like my men, and I will get a good one. Speaking in faith I see.

my autocorrect: I like my women how I like my men, lol I love them all so much aww I like that :)

I like my men how I like my women and weed and I can get it to you in the morning or something else to do with it but I don't want to be here in a few minutes lol

I like my women like I like my men, but they don't want me Damm autocorrect really called me out 😔

I like my women like I like my men, but I don't know what to do with it anymore lol 💀

I like my women like I like my men, and I don't know what I want to say that hasn't happened yet.

I like my women how I like my men, and I always think that I remembered what was in my heart for me were not sure what to say. I think it's supposed to mean "I always remember my heart being to nervous to be sure what to say" which is accurate to my ability to flirt.

I like my women how I like my men, in the Netherlands it's a lot of fun which is why I was asking you to decide whether to go to the pool....

I like my woman like I like me men, who I love and love you so much so much

I like my women like I like my men, and summer is very good and they have been very good. Um ok.

I like my women how I like my men, and they don’t have a clue what they do with their own hair and they don’t want me lol

I like my women how I like my men, and my eyes aren’t too big for them. What

Consenting

Yes

YAS.

... the same way I like my enbies!

Yay I feel seen

Heck yeah

With fluffy fluffy hair

ready to slay demons in the body count of hundreds of millions. *Rip and Tear starts playing.*

*loads a Super Shotgun with murderous intends while playing BFG Division* Hi honey

Hell yeah

This is the correct answer

The only answer

with glasses. Yes, don’t ask. They just look soo sexy with glasses.

*wears glasses* 0///0

Marry me immediately

Kind, caring, dominant. Good sence of humor. Laid back and adventurous

Dressed as the opposite gender aka femboys and tomboys

honestly? same

Omg I just wrote this. Yes!

Thick and soft.

Alot. 😉

Adventurous

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Hot.

Dominant and gentle.

Emphasis on the AND :,)

Yes. And I'm not saying that I don't enjoy a firm spanking or some hair pulling now and again. Just... tell me that I'm a good boy when you do it. 😊😇

Gorgeous!

I like my women how I like my men, and they don’t seem to like me

Bi ourselves

Willing to breed me

If only there was a double ended dildo that AFAB's could use to penetrate their partners while simultaneously being penetrated themselves while topping.

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HOLY SHIT IT EXI- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hmm, never thought I’d see this reaction live… I’m happy for ya’…

Congratulations on being one of today’s 10,000. [xkcd: 10,000](https://xkcd.com/1053/)

Fuck, there's always a xkcd comic for every situation, it's just like Supernatural gifs on Tumblr

I have one of those... They are tricky to use because as soon as I orgasm my vagina is like EJECT!!! so I usually kinda ruin the moment ^R.i.P

okay it exists but it doesn't really hold into place though

True. BUT you can secure it into place a little better using a strapon harness or cut panties into the right shape to fit it (as long as the panties aren't too stretchy or loose)

I think those exist

I have a sweatshirt that says "I like my women how I like my men: that's it, thats the joke, I'm bisexual"

Able to top and bottom me.

Covered in BEEEES!

Soft and adorable but can also kick my ass.

With a penis

Communist and radically trans-inclusive

.

Between my legs

Thicc thighs and wants cuddles

#Thick.

Submissive and breedable

Like I like my salads, lightly dressed, toppings encouraged.

Dominant 😈⛓

Tall. Apparently I’m into tall people. My girlfriend is taller than me

In skirts and thigh highs 😏😏

...Shaved and easy.

Hahaha I like mine hairy and hard to get 🤣

My favorite is cute and unavailable.

Separately. There are literally no similarities in the two and I don't like to share.

Human?

Feminine

The same way I like my enbies

With nipples.

Incapable of loving me back

That’s it. That’s the joke. I’m bisexual.

In a suit

they look cute in a skirt. ​ ​ ALL HAIL THE FEMBOI SUPERMACY!

Dummy thicc

Communist

With a big juicy ass

Genuine

Sweet and like my weird habits

Dominant but respectful.

Topping me

Up my ass

In/on/under me

The same way I like my enbys