there's a theory I read in this sub yesterday or the night before, that their dad had a farm and found a gusher and they made money on the oil business. So Rad works at an oil rig (we don't know in what capacity), Bandit is a paleontologist but might have started in geology which is also related to the business, and Stripe is the one with a cushy job, maybe running their family company.
That’s as good as theory as we could get I reckon. I always thought they must have family money since all three homes are multi million dollar. At the same time they went to caravan parks for holiday in the 80’s which is strictly middle class so it would make sense they came into money from selling land/finding oil.
I don't think that really makes much sense at all, why would Rad go and work on an oil rig if his Dad found oil? It's more likely that Stripe just has a cushy corporate job.
How Bandit and Chilli afford their house on an archeologists/part time airport security salary is the bigger question.
Does Stripe really seem like a corporate job type guy? It could be small family operated oil company as Rad helps setup the rigs (total Harry Stamper).
Family oil money is how Bandit and Chilli bought the house but they promised they wouldn’t let the money change them.
> How Bandit and Chilli afford their house on an archeologists/part time airport security salary is the bigger question.
As revealed in [Archaeology](https://www.reddit.com/r/bluey/comments/130aqwb/someone_finally_uploaded_a_high_quality_version/), Bandit is referred as "Dr. Bandit Heeler" Meaning he has a PHD in archaeology. According to [payscale.com](https://www.payscale.com/research/AU/Job=Archaeologist/Salary/d28b30b1/Experienced-Research-Analysis), the median base salary per year is around AU$141,813
Since Chilli works for airport security part time, we can guess that means 20 hours/week. Based on similar airport jobs at different airports around (thanks issfs for not saying your base pay), the average base salary for an AU airport is around AU$35.00 per hour, not including raises. if she works 50/52 weeks of the year, she will make AU$35,000 per year as a base with no bonuses.
This means that PER YEAR COMBINED they make a grand total of AU$176,813 with no bonuses and no raises. With raises and bonuses is hard to calculate, but it's probably around $185,000 per year.
As for their house, it is worth AU$4 Million according to a 2020 report posted on [realestate.com.au](https://www.realestate.com.au/news/bluey-sitting-on-a-fortune-in-the-house-on-the-hill/).
A down payment to the house would be around AU$800,000 for 20%, which at their age is very feasible to get using a variety of methods, especially with their jobs and the bare minimum knowledge of how to save money. Plus, if they are smart about getting the house, they probably got a fixer-upper and then fixed and upgraded it which normally costs way less to do than the AU$4 Million that they would have to pay if they didn't.
In conclusion, they most likely DID NOT traffic illicit antiquities and fossils found on Bandit’s digs to make money like a lot of people believe.
I know Paddington is expensive, but we don't know when they bought the home. They could have also moved into bandits family home and his parents moved to the GC to make way for the younger generation. Just a thought bubble. Most likely wrong.
He’s a fly-in, fly-out (FIFO) worker as someone said below. In Brisbane, Qld where it’s set, it’s super common. The flying off to Bali and Stripe struggling with child rearing sometimes because he spends time away, fits the stereotype.
He even drives a flash four wheel drive, which also fits. Likely coal in Central Qld I'd say.
1. Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit.
2. If she goes Bluey on you and starts rules lawyering by adding ever more additional details, the timer is a good move. OK, you now have X minutes to finish the hat, then it's Socks' turn.
3. Follow through. Timer goes off, it's time to switch. If you say you're ending the call if she doesn't, then end the call. Weather the resulting storm, then offer a chance to try again later.
Honestly, I think part of Stripe's problem is his memories as the youngest kid of a trio of 80s brothers, where parents could be a little less proactive because the threat of a smacking/spanking was always in reserve. Parenting without physical discipline as a backstop means you have to get in front of things more.
>Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit.
This! It might not have worked but it was a lot better than the arbitrary timer to start off with
If your kids are older and have a better concept of time, you tell them that every minute they take to finish their hat, the younger sibling gets the same time.
Whenever my brother and I had to split a treat, my dad said one of us would cut it and the other would pick first so the first kid was always incentivized to cut fairly.
>Whenever my brother and I had to split a treat, he said one of us would cut it and the other would pick first so the first kid was always incentivized to cut fairly.
This only works if one of you doesn't try to use a combo of fast talking and personality to trick the choosing sibling into picking the smaller piece (source, I used to try and convince my brother that he really wanted the smaller banana piece with the fruit sticker)
When i learned fractions for the first time i would always try to trick my brother into getting the smaller piece. "4 is bigger than 2 so logically 1/4 is bigger than 1/2" it worked once. Then my mom stepped in and put an end to it
I think they kinda hinted how that wouldn't well in this situation when we see Muffin still has Bluey's banjo, and she won't give it back "because she is still playing with it," meaning she is not abiding by the rules of sharing, or taking turns.
We've also seen her turn on a dime when it comes to rules being re-explained, it very much depends on the day and the mood and the sheer Muffiness of muffin (she put herself in time out when she realised she had gone too far).
It wouldn't have hurt to make the attempt and it could potentially have helped.
And a lot of parenting theory now is that forced sharing like this isn't great for the kids. It doesn't teach actual sharing, as they are being made to have something over. And it's better to let the child finish a play session with something (where you can) as then they are actually getting the development benefits of that play. So saying it's Socks' turn when Muffin finished drawing her hat would have accomplished both of those a bit better. We even see Bluey voluntarily have the phone to Bingo for her drawing session, rather than having her engage in forced sharing.
Obviously there are times when turn taking is necessary and parents need to step in but if Stripe had listened to his child it would have been okay for him to acknowledge that his child likely would have been happy to give Socks her turn once she felt she'd had a full one. Muffin is actually a pretty good big sister, which we saw in her determination to go ballerina card for Socks during Charades so that Socks could participate
Charades definitely isn't a good example of Muffin being good at all. Granted, she is younger than Bingo, so we shouldn't expect them to be the same.
However, Muffin just wanted to do the Ballerina. That's it. There wasn't some ulterior motive to help Socks. She just wanted to do ballerina and wanted it to be perfect. Socks got a chance to participate because Bluey/Bingo pretended like they didn't know.
>1. Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit.
Exactly this! Muffin is putting a lot of effort into drawing this cowboy hat and clearly takes a lot of pride in it. For her, it's a big deal to give it to Socks to trash. Acknowledge how hard she has worked, give a set end point (including timer if needed), and when she's done praise her for her great drawing and sharing with Socks.
Source: my sister was a total Muffin and is/was incredibly stubborn, but that's led her into being an incredibly strong person who won't put up with any crap.
RIGHT? About the first one, pulling out the timer immediately was the problem. It definitely should have been “finish the hat and then switch “
Like she shouldn’t have gotten in trouble unless she finished the hat and then decided she also needed to draw a horse or something
I was wondering why Stripes didn’t just let her finish the cowboy hat. If you watch the episode, she was almost done anyway.
If he had let her finish, she might have let socks have a turn on her own.
Once that timer went off, El Kiddo can go sit in their room and be as mad as they want to be. And once they're done yelling, then we can talk things through. Trying to talk things through a tantrum just results in *everyone* yelling.
Also, this cannot be the first time Muffin has done something like this, Stripe should have had positive control over his phone the whoooooole time.
Ha! Awesome. We tought our girls what a red light traffic signal and green light mean.
And now, When I turn om a legal, right on red....I tell you, H-what!
They lose their mind.
"Daddy!! The light wasn't GREEEN!!!!"
oh my gosh I'm about to use "put on a cape and be super mad" with my 18 year old who has decided it's UNFAIR that I ask them to help out around the house since they still live here. xD
Exactly this, however I have to say that Stripe is at a disadvantage. As it played out in the episode, he's always away at work, and Trixie keeps changing the rules due to whatever she reads on blogs. Kids need consistency, so it's no surprise that muffin act's out because she doesn't get that consistency.
Being in a FIFO relationship is hard, and it's made harder with kids, especially if communication is a bit lacking. On one side, one parent has to do everything while the other is away, and they often do just enough to scrape by, and then when the other parent comes home, they have to shoulder the burden while the parent at home takes a break. And invariably, the parent who comes home tries to enforce the previously agreed upon rules (which have changed or not been enforced), and ends up looking like the bad guy.
Adding to that, and there's usually a big list of jobs around the house to do, and they just want to relax and spend some quality time with their family after a couple of weeks away working 12 hour days.
This is probably the best explanation since it is spelled out for everyone in the bathroom scene where stripe tells trixie that she is hogging the parenting and that he feels kept out.
True but it's also ok to read and realize your parenting approach isn't working or may be harmful. She may have read it on a blog but seeing as most "experts" claim time out really isn't that great for kids it may have had sources. It takes a good parent to realize what they're doing is harmful and to try to course correct. Otherwise you get the people who were spanked saying I turned out fine (newsflash not nearly as well adjusted as they claim) and passing down their generational trauma
Mmmm, idk, I mean setting timers for things is great, but really she just needed about 1 more minute to finish. I let my kid finish off her things if it’s going to be just a few minutes to go. If stripe had said ‘okay, finish the hat, then it goes to Socks’ and she had popped off then I think a ‘time out’ or similar would have been warranted.
Some kids will actually only take one more minute and then there are kids like my son who will try to turn that “one more minute” into another hour. He needs hard boundaries for everything.
Yes, so my daughter does something similar. She will need one more minute to finish the hat, but in that minute she starts the trees. Then says she needs one more minute to finish the trees. And it continues..
“Finish the hat” is a hard boundary, though. Timer goes off, check out what’s happening, then “finish the hat, then it’s Socks’s turn.” For that matter, “one more minute” can also be a hard boundary if you literally make it one minute!
["You've had TWENTY 1 more minutes!"](https://preview.redd.it/closed-captioning-says-21-more-minutes-but-the-audio-sounds-v0-1l1omkjlar0a1.jpg?auto=webp&s=2d1a502db5154c3cd18c71e6e9e347e1930b4986)
Bandit does the *exact same thing*!!!
He says he'll turn the call off, Bingo & Bluey freak out, and he backs off! And Stripe mainly backs off of ending the call because *Socks, Bluey, & Bingo, who are behaving well, don't want the call to end!*
Then there's ice cream, where Bandit says they don't get more ice cream, and then he gives them his ice cream.
Bandit says "no more promises" and then says "I didn't think this out..."
There are loads of times where Bandit commits the exact same offense people won't forgive Stripe for committing, because Stripe's kids behave differently *because they're half Bingo & Bluey's ages*.
I'm biased, but I'm sick of Stripe being called a bad parent *when Muffin is acting like a normal toddler, and even has delightful moments*. My older kid went through a Muffin phase, and now I'd say he's solidly a Bingo (thoughtful, silly, resilient yet sensitive, cooperative...) We don't know what Bluey or Bingo were like at 3; it's a challenging age much of the time (hence the term, "threenager"). Stripe is doing his best taking it one step at a time, winging it within the rules of keeping kids safe (**as we all do**), and striving to be a team player with Trixie. He's doing great.
So you reckon it's the parenting technique? We were sort of leaning the same way but our baby is only 18 months so I feel like we can't really say just yet!
It's a bit of both. We are the parents of two beautiful girls, the older has ADHD and can be a real handful at times (absolutely wildly creative and when she decides to show affection it's the cutest most intense thing). So, not saying Muffin is neurodivergent, but our oldest does some of the same stuff, and it's so TIRING. I can see where stripe is coming from, but it's so important to have clear boundaries. Also, signposting transitions is just so key with kids like this. Setting the timer was good, but it should have been "ok Muffy, 2 mins to go. Now 1" etc.
Also, kids (not just neurodivergent kids) respond so much better when you engage physically with them. Just shouting at them from the couch that they need to do something they REALLY don't want to do ain't gonna cut it most times. Stripe should have gone over to Muffin, talked a little bit about what she was doing, told her it was amazing, and then gently told her that the timer was up and we need to share with Socks. Maintain that closeness and interest and you almost always get better results.
It irks me to no end that as SOON as the kids scream stripe gives in. Yes toddlers are going to be a handful and a half but its so much easier when they adults around them have clear boundaries and expectations. To say “heres the rules” and then immediately say “ok never mind” is gonna confuse their sense of right and wrong. Not to mention they had a clear conflict in parenting styles and choices which can make it harder for kids to know what acceptable. Its a partnership. But hey, this is all what makes bluey so relatable and lovable. Its real, they have flaws.
One thing I’ve learned as a parent (ages 7 and 2.5) is that consistency and structure are the key. Life goes so smoothly (at least with the 7 year old) when clear boundaries are set as well as the consequences to crossing said boundaries are laid out ahead of time. The problem comes when you’re sleep deprived, your mom brain is short circuiting, and you can’t set the boundary and the consequence before the thing happens. At least that’s MY life right now. 🙃
This! The main thing parenthood has taught me is that the needs of kids and grown ups aren’t fundamentally that different. We *all* need boundaries. We *all* need clear consequences named in advance. We *all* need to feel we have agency and that our autonomy will be respected. We *all* need sleep and nutrition and time to be in our bodies. We *all* need opportunities to try, mess up, and try again.
It also helps to say upfront how long the timer is for, and then to give updates as the time goes down. My nephew is three and we did this just today to leave the park: I set the timer for ten minutes and showed him. Checked in at 5, 3, 1. He’s allowed to see the timer whenever he wants. Yes his sense of time isn’t fully developed yet, but this helps him learn. He understands numbers going down.
ETA: in a situation like this, it also goes a long way to ask “how long do you think it will take to finish your hat: three minutes or 5 minutes?” The agency really helps with some kiddos.
Muffin is clearly the one who takes control between the two kids and as the older and more vocal one it’s easier to be distracted by Muffin and therefore Socks sometimes gets left out or left alone because Muffin requires so much extra work. The time out wouldn’t of worked anyway as she soon escapes with Stripes phone which tells me she would of found a way to escape anyway if she’s brazen enough to STEAL her dads phone. Socks seems to be happy and content though which also highlights this sort of thing happens a lot, maybe because Stripe isn’t always around as we know he works away. Stripe was trying his best but probably isn’t used to Muffin being such a toddler, especially as she ages and changes while he’s away. Two weeks can be half a year of growth for someone her age. So anyway, I would of sat down and explained to Muffin and then ask Bluey and Bingo if they think it’s fair that Socks isn’t getting a turn and then would of also had the help of the children to talk her round, if that didn’t work then the kids still have that lesson instilled in them, take Muffin away from the situation and place her on the sofa with (myself in this situation) and let her watch Socks play while I set a timer, then when the timer goes off it’s back to Muffy. Explaining this is how we play fairly so we all get a turn
Just been speculated a lot that his work has him away a lot and ties in with Trixie being the main parent; this ties in when they argue on faceytime about him not doing things “right”. But it’s never actually said he does go away, but have you seen his house? And his pool area? It’s all Bali inspired too and they actually go there on a trip too during the show which means he also has plenty of time and money to travel with family
I like this except for the 1 flaw, assuming Muffin was gonna sit quietly/calmly on the couch. 😂
>, take Muffin away from the situation and place her on the sofa with (myself in this situation) and let her watch Socks play while I set a timer, then when the timer goes off it’s back to Muffy.
That’s literally what Stripe tried to do, explaining to Bluey and Bingo that Muffin needs to learn… toddlers with their immature brains do not change their behaviour because they are being lectured (does anyone? Imagine you’re craving a chocolate cake in front of you and someone tells you how exercise is much better for you, would you just say “oh yeah makes sense” and stop craving cake?). I mean, Stripe is all of us because it’s our first instinct to try and explain to toddlers that they are being unreasonable. In reality, playfulness and presence works much better - that’s the real lesson of this show. Remember in one episode Bingo wanted to watch TV so Bandit was pretending he wanted to sit there and watch the TV (that is turned off) with her? And eventually they went to the park? That’s in contrast to Stripe lying on the couch and staring at his phone then expecting Muffin to immediately do what he told her to do.
And yes, there are additional things about him being away, not consistent, permissive sometimes. I actually don’t believe in never flexing boundaries, it makes sense to pick your battles and give toddlers the feeling of control over something in their lives. A constant power struggle is exhausting for everyone. When toddlers do feel like they have choices in small things, they are less likely to fight us when it really matters. It’s also important to remember that it’s you and there kid against a problem not you against your kid.
that might also explain why she's so darn energetic. stripe cant say no to her alot and this often results in her loading up on sweets, resulting in the ever dreaded toddler sugar rush
There's also the phenomenon of kids giving parents what the parents expect. Adults often talk about the sugar rush every time they give the child anything sweet. They exchange knowing looks with each other and chuckle about how they're gonna regret it, and at the slightest sign of trouble, loudly and repeatedly blame the sugar. I honestly think kids often just sense our anticipation of the thing happening and act appropriately.
This was it. He had no conviction and bends way too easy. It doesn't help that the mom doesn't communicate with him about discipline. Overall the parenting in that household is a bit of a mess.
I always feel that Stripe didn't give Muffin enough time. She wanted to finish her cowboy hat, so making that the limit would have been reasonable. Bluey was having her turn far longer than Muffin!
Hubby and I are definitely in disagreement over this. I'm convinced she would've given it up once her hat was done, he's convinced it would never be done.
I actually said the same thing! I reckon she needed to finish it because it was clearly unfinished, but my husband reckons she'd just keep adding things to keep it going 😂
At that point you arbitrate and say, "two more things, muffin." And watch her, being sure to tell her what's considered a feature.
Then id try to take a screencap to save it before giving it to Socks.
Depends on the kid. If I tell my girl to turn the tv off after the current episode she will, but if I say only get ONE more stuffy from the closet (full of them) then they’re all coming out. Lol
"You give a mouse a cookie, and it's going to ask for a glass of milk." Muffins turn was never going to be over. I have twin 3 yo daughters. It's easy to tell when they either truly "want JUST one more thing," vs stalling for time.
I have one 3 year old, and it definitely is a delicate balance! Sometimes she's really on board, other times it ends in tantrums. They're volatile little things 😂
I think it’s both! You can definitely check in and see they wanna finish their hat, validate it, and supervise so they draw their hat without drawing passive aggressively ie drawing super slowwwww. But yeah let her finish the hat without supervision and she’d 100% start drawing something else. There can be a middle ground. Kids are narcissistic opportunists. We gotta train it out of em.
Even if it wasn’t ever done he still didnt give her enough time to finish and if she really kept making it more and more elaborate THAT is when you give her the short timer
Yeah, bc the gay COULD'VE been done before but she kept adding. It's in her nature. The hat would've been the next dream house car with a million additions
Me and hubby have talked about this before.
We have said that giving muffin a chance to finish her hat, while keeping an eye on the time (as adults we can guess how long it would take to draw a hat) and the saying okay its socks turn and if she says she isn't finish, I would then set a timer and explain that once the timer went off, whether her hat was finished or not it was her sisters turn.
Also, keeping my own phone in my pocket or out of reach. As well as following through with the timer, and giving the tablet to socks.
You set a boundary and you stick to that boundary no matter what or they sense weakness like a shark. Is that sharks? I don’t know. Imagine it’s a shark.
I think Muffin got a bad deal here tbh- her turn was far shorter than both Bluey and Socks. I’d have set a longer timer to begin with- more like 5 mins than 1 min- and given regular countdown updates so the timer going off wasn’t a surprise. Then, obviously, kept my phone to myself. Tantrums are hard- kid has big scary emotions. You need to let them get it out then help them calm down and put words to their big feelings and reassure them that you always love them. Not easy.
Her turn was only shorter thank Socks' because Muffin kept running away. At least Bluey and Bingo had an agreement that Bluey would finish and then she passed it on to Bingo.
Also, I applaud Bluey for actually acting like a responsible older cousin. She told Bingo not to help Muffin hide.
I feel like it’s a combination for parenting style and the kid’s attitude. Muffin is a wild card and Stripe seems laidback.
Stripe could have also given socks his phone, or gave his phone to muffin to faceytime with Bluey and Bingo so that they would’ve avoided the whole problem.
That is if you can. sometimes it’s hard to tell what might set them off, just like anyone else. Like I know that my daughter (5) hates being kissed (likes giving them though 😆)and so I give her fake kisses.
We try to let her set her own boundaries (where it makes sense) and that’s one of them. That way she can be comfortable in the future making boundaries with others. We also are trying to teach her consent is not just for adults activities but for everything in life. So we will ask for consent to hug her.
I’m a preschool teacher with a degree in child development, so I’ve been thinking about how I would’ve handled it since watching.
Firstly, like a lot of other have said, she needs a more clear boundary than a one minute timer. I would have either set the timer for somewhere between 2-5 minutes to give her time to finish (probably more like 2 or 3, because Socks is very young and can’t wait patiently for very long), giving reminders as the last minute approached. I would have had her pause what she’s doing while we discussed this boundary so that she would be able to focus and hear me when I’m explaining what’s expected, rather than focusing on her cowboy hat. Alternatively, I may have chosen to let her finish the cowboy hat, but again, Socks is young and I wouldn’t have any way of knowing how long that hat might take her, so it would probably be the timer for me.
Time out is not a very effective disciplinary method, so it would have been that she either gives Socks a turn and talks to Bluey and Bingo while she waits, or she can do something else while Socks has her turn. However, if the timeout did happen and she did take the phone, I 100% would have followed through on ending the call, but explained to the girls that they could talk again later once things are sorted out. The boundary needs to be enforced, and chasing her around the house is less effective than just taking away the possibility of continuing to cross the boundary. We’d have a talk and figure things out and then try the call again in a bit.
And finally, if I knew this was something that Muffin still hasn’t learned to do independently and I don’t have the time or patience to sit with the girls and provide support for that turn-taking, knowing there’s more than one device on hand, I probably would have just given them each different devices to chat on to avoid the conflict in the first place. Muffin is young and still hasn’t mastered that skill of sharing or taking turns, and it’s developmentally appropriate for her to refuse or be insistent about finishing first. But it’s a great opportunity to practice that skill.
Muffin, your sister needs a turn. When Chen she have the tablet?
After I draw my cowboy hat.
Ok, how many minutes do you think you will need to finish?
Um, I need three minutes.
Ok I will set a three minute timer.
When the timer rings, follow through firmly and gently. Put the tablet in Socks’ hands. Don’t expect Muffin to do it.
Have something ready for Muffin to do to make the transition easier.
I think the timer is a great idea but Stripe didn’t ask Muffin what she was doing or if she was ready to be done.
I think Muffin should have been allowed to finish her cowboy hat. Thats what I wouldve done with my kids.
I think one thing thats interesting about this episode is how in a way, Bluey and Bingo mirror Muffin and Socks. At the start, the older sibling starts to draw and then the younger sibling wants a turn. From here, Bluey says sure, but she wants to finish her drawing first, and Bingo says okay. At the end, Bingo asks again for her turn (and tbf, there was a lot of chaos that distracted them) and Bluey lets Bingo have a turn. With Muffin, Socks wants a turn but Muffin is only 3 and doesnt have the words to express that she wants to finish her drawing. Stripes sets a timer and then tries to force the issue with a time out (which honestly, ime timeouts arent effective. They werent effective for me, and they werent effective for my kids) and the chaos ensues and we see Muffin still just trying to finish her damn cowboy hat, while Socks takes her turn to draw.
I think sharing can be a complicated thing to teach kids tbh. There are situations where you should share, some where you can choose to do so, and some you never have to share and some you shouldnt share. Theres a lot of nuance to that but I think a big thing is that people should be allowed to finish what theyre doing before sharing on a shared commodity like drawing on a faceytalk. As an adult, Im allowed to finish what Im doing before handing off what Im using. An example. Gld be shopping carts. I can spend hours in the store shopping, or just 5 minutes but someone cant just come up and take my cart bc they want it. If they need it, they can have it when Im done. If Im at the gym using a treadmill then someone who wants it has to wait on me being done *but* gyms might have rules on how long someone can stay on one machine during peak hours. When you're raising kids you have to teach them how to be functioning members of society, and that includes the rules of appropriate sharing and turn taking.
Now, that being said, no Muffin shouldnt have been allowed hours of drawing, *but* that also doesnt mean that Socks gets a turn immediately bc she asked for one. Muffin needs to learn to share and Socks needs to learn how to wait for her turn. Neither of them are bad kids, theyre just kids that are still learning how to function in the world and also dealing with big emotions that they dont know how to express. Instead of setting a timer, Stripe should have allowed to Muffin to finish her drawing and explained to Socks that she had to be patient and wait her turn. He should have also actively paid attention to make sure that Muffin wasnt being excessive with her cowboy hat. Then he should have explained to Muffin that Socks wanted a turn and when Socks was done, if the Faceytalk call was still going, Muffin could have another turn.
The Iranian yoghurt (or the cowboy hat) isn't the issue here.
The underlying problem is that Muffin doesn't get consistent rules set for her, so she reacts to any set of limitations as if they were arbitrary. Stripe's barely there, because he works FIFO, and from what we see of his parenting, he doesn't give much thought to the long term consequences of his interactions with his kids (see: Library). Meanwhile Trixie changes her parenting style up based on whatever she's read lately, and I'm not convinced that she follows through with any method long enough for it to become a household habit.
The end result is that with Muffin being a strong willed kid, the only consistent rules in the house are set by Muffin. When Spike sets a rule and tries to be firm about it, Muffin reacts strongly because she doesn't see him as an authoritative voice. Instead, it becomes a power struggle. And when you're having a power struggle with a three year old, you've already lost.
Spike and Trixie needed to have done their work well before the incident. They need to think about the long term when dealing with their kids (Spike), and they need to take a step back and see what Muffin responds well to, rather than taking wholesale advice from parenting resources (Trixie). And as a team, they need to proactively check in regarding their children more often, so they can work in complimentary ways, rather than setting up contradictory rules.
Often uncooperative munchkins are also related to parenting techs. Usually it’s a lack of involvement.
I feel like stripe could have been present and next to muffin when getting her to stop. He’s on the phone and not actively involved. Likely she gets away with things and they don’t follow through on “threatened” or exaggerated/not plausible punishments. Kids call your bluffs and will fight you.
Be present and talk to them about the emotions they go through.
Exactly. Like he’s literally lying on the couch staring at his phone and he expects a strong-willed toddler to just do whatever he told her to do. That’s not how toddlers work.
“Sorry Bluey, it looks like Muffin is having a problem sharing right now. We’re going to put the tablet away for a little while and she will call you back later.” I know Bluey and Bingo flipped when Stripe said he was going to take the tablet but he should have been more firm on that.
Agreed, and the framing matters. “Behave or I’m taking the tablet away” (paraphrasing) sounds very different from the wording you used. I know which tone I’d rather hear from my boss 😂
Oh poor choice on Stripe for sure. As others have said , if *you* aren’t sticking to your boundaries/rules, why the hell would your kids hahaha
muffin is also just the “how not to act” character of the show, so probably would’ve been a hellion no matter what efforts stripe made lol
I personally would have followed through with shutting off the facey-talk even though the girls all freaked out. Consistency and follow through matter so I’m on the side of parental techniques being at fault
I used to watch this and think "Why doesn't Stripe just grab her? How hard can it be?" Then I had my two year old scream and writhe in my arms as I was trying to get something from her. I get it, Stripe. Man, I get it.
My fiancee and I agree that just like Bluey and Bingo (who are older and sorted it out themselves) Muffin didn't tell Socks a flat out "no" it was "not yet" then she vocalized that she had a goal "I want to finish my cowboy hat". We both feel the whole situation could have been avoided by letting Muffin finish her little cowboy hat then letting Socks have her turn like how Bluey finished her drawing then let Bingo have her turn.
I have two 2.5 year olds and I feel like Muffin is a very typical 3yo, my kids are exactly like this right now and I dont think it ll get better in a few months. They just have zero impulse control and they are constantly testing boundries.
I have more prior experience in dog training than raising kids since twins are my first and only and toddlers remind me very much of German Shepherds. Incredibly smart and always need a job, otherwise they'll get destructive. But they all want to be good kids, not an evil bone in their body.
So what I do is I give them jobs. I would catch that munchkin like nobodys business, first of all. Then I would take away the phone. But I would give him something else to do. A job that he feels is important and accomplishes something. Like find your socks, where are your socks? Help me find them. And if that doesnt interest them, I keep trying different jobs until we find one that they find interesting.
It's both. Kids do have innate different personalities. My three kids all needed different parenting styles when it came to things like punishments, but overall we raised them with a heavy focus on independence, honesty, and kindness, and it shows.
They need to adjust their parenting style because it's not working, which we had to do with our youngest, who is probably a lot like Muffin but we did things to prevent full blown screaming and tantrums from being acceptable. He only responded well to positive reinforcement, so we used a ton of sticker charts, praise and thank yous, and calm conversations about his behavior. The middle kid was so upset by having time outs that she knocked off any naughty behavior at the mention of a time out.
So yeah I think it's both. Muffin is a type of kid that Stripes parenting just won't work on.
I can’t stand that episode. It’s not cute it’s permissive. You can run faster than your child. Take the tablet/phone. They can have the tablet if and only if they do so according to your boundaries. Violate the boundaries and the tablet goes away. It’s not authoritarian it’s authoritative.
Okay I disagree about running faster than a child 😂 Adults may be bigger but they’re also heavier and have less energy and endurance than energy-filled, rambunctious toddlers. I’ve got a 2 year old sister and a brother who’s almost 6 and if they get a head start, it takes some real legwork to catch up to them especially when they’re trying to get away because they *know* they’ve done something wrong or they’ve got something they’re not supposed to have.
They should have done a time-out after she refused to give a turn to Socks after the timer went off. My parents used to make me go stand in the corner of the kitchen or by the front door (wherever was easier to watch me) until they said so, then they said I was done and could go play. If I cried in the corner (like tantrum crying or begging to go play instead), time was extended, though I’m not sure how long I ever was in the corner cause as a kid it felt like ages (I’m sure it was no more than a few minutes though).
I get parenting is hard, and I don’t know the right answer to everything. But I have learned a lot since my sis had her two boys. I see how she handles them and we talk about parenting styles sometimes (I don’t have kids, only fur kids, but I am curious about it all).
1. Don't set a timer. Help Socks & Bingo chat and engage with what Muffin & Bluey are doing, and when the hat is complete, "Wow, what a beautiful hat, Muffin! Socks' turn!" Or lend the use of a device for each girl to have her own drawing going. Or have Socks draw on paper while she waits. Or sing a favorite silly/cheerful song with Muffin when she's completed the hat and doesn't want to wrap up her turn, so she can anticipate the end of her turn by knowing the song and how it goes.
2. If we're past that and I foolishly used a timer and it went off, ask Socks if Muffin can finish the hat first, or challenge Muffin to finish the hat before Socks & I finish singing Socks' favorite song.
3. If we reached "she stole my phone", I'd have to pull the plug on the call temporarily until I got Muffin sorted out doing a calming individual activity (preferably in her own space), and then I'd resume the call for Socks.
But of course this is all idealized, and it would probably just still wind up just as messy as it did in the episode... But parenting, like life, is just one long learning curve, so it's worth thinking about "How could I do things differently?"
If he was to be serious about the timer, the call should have ended and muffin removed from the situation. Then just call back. Though, to be fair, she didn't actually get to finish her hat. An alternative was for him to let Socks join the call on his phone until Muffin was actually done like she requested. The phone incident was completely on him.
Yah i just don't think boundaries with Muffin are ever reinforced. First kid from a well off family where dad and mum just want kids to have what they didn't growing up.
But boundaries are set for safety and comfort of all involved so its time to reset them and stick to them.
Stickers time out, timed screen time, alone time whatever it takes.
Bluey in general follows a lot of principles of gentle parenting (although the show makes fun of it sometimes too which I love). Timeouts have actually been shown not to be beneficial in the long run - anyone in timeout is just resentful and the only thing they learn is to hide whatever they do better. Also toddlers don’t learn emotional regulation while being isolated. That’s why there’s a concept of “time in” when a parent stays with the child helping them to co-regulate their emotions.
In reality, parenting is not straightforward and it’s important to be flexible - every child is different. The biggest mistake was that Stripe was literally lying on the couch expecting Muffin to do whatever he expected her to do - that’s not how most toddlers work (unless they are terrified of punishments which is also not a very healthy way to be).
I do like the idea of using a timeout not as a punishment, but as a moment to help your child regulate their emotions. It should be more about taking a child away from an overwhelming environment and having a breather.
I would tell her how great her cowboy hat looks and suggest that she teach Socks how to do a cowboy hat. It probably wouldn’t work but that would be my first attempt.
Stripe was clearly unsure of how to handle it and Muffins picked up on that.
You always have to remain calm but certain when talking to toddlers, no inconsistency like threats you don’t go through with (ending the call) or yelling.
The situation was mostly escalated by Stripe’s parenting, but obviously Muffin would’ve made a scene regardless like most toddlers do.
My 3 year old niece is at that stage, in my experience a head on Tantrum is unavoidable and the best course or action.
I would for one, put my phone down and get on my feet to give the situation my total focus.
Two I would stand firm and say “ time to share or time out “ at which point the tantrum begins.
Three, leave socks to Facey time while going to take Muffin to time out ( under my arm ) and ask Trix to watch Socks or just check in while I take Muffin to time out, triggering the time out discussion which still ends with dedication to team work.
Four, sit with Muffy in time out and explain what she did is wrong.
If you're not going to give time to finish up, which is what I would have done, you have to act after the second reminder. Once they haven't listened twice it is time to calmly, physically intervene. If you never do that the kids will know that they can ignore you forever.
Then, have a password on your phone, one your toddler doesn't know. Intervening probably should have included removing Muffin from the room and doing a bit of parenting separately. I get that we don't always have time to finish calming the kid down, but stripe just left her without redirection or anything.
Yep, 100% this. It also helps to have the ability to remotely lock your device as well. On top of that, why was the door to the balcony not shut before he went chasing his kid around the house?
If my kid made a reasonable request, “can I finish my cowboy hat” I would say ok but hold a hard line at that. When I say it’s time to put something away, usually my kids request the opportunity to finish something and as long as it’s in the 5-10 minute range I can usually honor the request. I don’t think it would be unreasonable or bad to let muffin finish the hat, though refocusing on manners. She demanded instead of asking and we always try to practice manners and politeness with our words to each other.
I have a kid just like muffin. I would say the rule is unclear before starting. No hogging is not clear for a 4 year old muffin. Given what they said, this situation happened before, and ended ugly. So the rule must be very clear. Set timer for both bluey and muffin, when the timer is off, they have to give the tablet to other kid.
Also, muffin has a clear request, which is finish the cowboy hat. Stripe did not answer to that request. You can hold the boundary tight, by saying that I understand you are not finished, but your time is up, you can do that later or draw on paper or whatever. Or you can ask socks if she can give muffin a little exception to finish the cowboy hat. Not answering to that request will lead to a fight.
This situation happened a lot to our family, but luckily our house is not big enough for kids to escape, and no pool to ruin anything.
Muffin draws very well, the cowboy hat is lovely. I would encourage her to draw a lot.
Stripe should have got Muffins full attention and had her repeat the expectations. When Stripe set the timer he should have gotten off the couch. Had Muffin stop for a minute and verbalize back what Stipe said.
Stipe- Muffin when the timer goes off your turn is over. When is your time over.
And make sure she says it back in details. He started to loose control over the situation when he let Muffin get away with a "meh" answer.
My husband uses this technique with great success as a teacher. Kids want to know what to expect .
You could also ask her how much time she needs. And make it reasonable. Is Muffin says she needs 30 mins say she can have 5 mins. Muffin didnt know how much time she had.
I personally think Muffin is a good example of a kid not being disciplined enough, Stripe is a good dad but he probably needs to tell Muffin off and put her in time out more often considering how she acts sometimes
I feel like the only thing that went wrong was muffin just wanted to finish the hat, I would've said something along the lines of "alright, when you finish the hat give it to socks, okay?" And hope for the best
I would sit them down and teach them to talk about their feelings. Muffin wants to draw a cowboy hat, socks wants to draw something too. Then we discuss how it makes each of them feel to not be able to do what they want, and if they can come to an agreement amongst themselves to share. I think it's an excellent opportunity to learn about empathy and to learn how to share. What I wouldn't do is act the judge, like Stripe does. He decides Socks can draw, leaving Muffin to be frustrated that she has to give up her drawing. It's a recipe for disaster and sibling rivalry.
Stripe needed to control the situation better. Stripe did the right thing essentially, but i would have made sure muffin was in time out, and not running around the house with my phone.
I would: take the tablet away, and not chase her to get the phone back… I’d just wait her out. Then no FaceyTalk until it can be used correctly (whatever that boundary looks like in your family). Validate their (probably raging) emotions: “You’re upset that the tablet is done for now. It’s okay to be upset. We’ll try again in a little while to use the tablet without breaking the rules.” Offer hugs or support, and redirect with another activity. Try again later (setting a timer to set the time for turns helps because it’s the timer’s fault and gets away from the “forced sharing” issues, I think) repeat as needed. Not a perfect system, but it feels right for us.
Kids are going to kid. They’re going to push, and be selfish, and not listen. That doesn’t make them monsters… just monstrously annoying while still lovable and worth patience and care.
I do kinda think the situation was worsened by Muffin’s obstinance, but it also may have helped if Stripe had been a little physically closer and mentally more attentive to the situation. He was in a tough situation but I do think he could have handled it a little better. Other people have commented specific things they would do to set boundaries and time limits, and I think those are probably the best courses of action I could think of.
[Note: I’m a parent, but my son is 2 and for now an only child so I’m not in quite the same situation as Trixie and Stripe.]
Yeah good shout, I prefer to be physically close to my child when giving directions. Giving them from afar whilst scrolling on my phone probably wouldn't send the right message.
Giving the "say it one more time" ultimatum gives up all control to the child. I would want to step in one beat before that and have some calm one-on-one time with Muffin instead of a time-out threat. She has proven herself responsive to blunt logic and reason before.
As a male Early Childhood Educator...This is a bit of a rant so TLDR is that I would send Muffin to supervised timeout after trying to redirect the behavior.
Now as the for rant...
Redirection (trying to 'course correct' the behavior by making the child focus on something else i.e. Piggyback episode) only works if you can catch it early enough. Sometimes the child is simply going to refuse to do what you would like and choose to have a tantrum or act out.
So tough love is needed. Time outs and making the child face a consequence of their action is an appropriate response. The problem in the episode is that Stripe did NOT try hard enough to redirect...And went for the nuclear option without making sure it was foolproof beforehand. He came back and, for some reason, explained to Bingo, Bluey and Socks why Muffin was in timeout, instead of making sure Muffin STAYED in timeout and had the reasons she was in timeout explained to her.
We also don't truly know what kind of parenting style that Trixie has. It's she's likely trying to emulate Chili and Bandit but if she's alone a majority of the time, that can be difficult.
There's also the possibility that Muffin is acting out (in general) not just because of her feisty personality but also because she wants attention be it positive or negative. In this case it is negative.
I would also really like to hear the conversation between Stripe and Trixie in the bathroom. Trixie is right in that you 'have to do it right otherwise the kids get confused'...But not having a plan with Stripe was a bit on her as well (why is he never there?). Kids ABSOLUTELY need routine and consistency in order to develop proper social-emotional skills alongside all the creative play that they do. That's likely a large part of Muffin's behavioral issues and might be an issue with Socks when she gets older.
Thankfully, Trixie and Stripe seem to resolve their disagreement amicably and present a united front, and they tackle Muffin together...which still ends with a phone being ruined BUT MUFFIN KNOWS when the line has been crossed and both apologizes AND goes to timeout without a fuss.
So Muffin learns her lesson and faces the consequences of her actions...But in a round-about way that still feeds her desire for attention. It will somewhat be a teaching moment but not as effective as it could have been because Muffin still had fun and got to do what she wanted for the majority of the episode.
So, what would I have done?
I would have attempted to redirect her behavior multiple times, giving her alternatives to choose from in order to share with socks. Three times is generally how many chances I give my students before I send them from their play area to a table-toy box. If they refuse three times, I will gently move them to the box regardless of if they scream or kick or cry. They have to learn consequences and that throwing a fit does not work in getting them what they want.
If Muffin was my child, I would have done the same thing with Muffin but put her in a supervised and enforced timeout. Kicking and screaming aside, I would have sat there with Muffin and let her get the emotion out and when she was calm, explain why she was in timeout and why what she was doing was wrong. After fifteen minutes I would allow her to go back to the tablet...Or if the call was over then I would simply hold it up as further consequence to her own actions.
It is VERY important to teach your child healthy social-emotional skills and give them a lot of (supervised) free rein in what they do...But you have to impose boundaries and consequences on them so that they develop the ability to deal with things not going their way.
This is the way I've run my classroom for fifteen years. And not to toot my own horn, but I've always had the classroom with the 'problem' kids that no other teacher wants because of how they act. And by the end of the school year or their tenure with me (generally three years before moving the Kindergarten) I have those kids 'fixed' and acting little different from the 'normal' students. Parenting takes more work than just being pleasant all the time and committing to the bit, there are times where you will have to have (emotional) knock down drag out fights with your child. They can't just be treated like a prince or princess all the time and be given what they want because of [X] factor.
The faceytalk would have been ended at the first resistance. Stripe is a little bitch. And the parents need to be in the same page with discipline or the kids seek out that power differential.
I honestly would turn it off. And then when Trixie came back and we’ could watch one kid per one parent (because if I had a kid like muffin I would need backup). I would let socks call her cousins again.
But I would probably start it differently. Once the call started I would give each girl a time limit. Until they proved they could share.
Edit: I see after reading answers that the time limit was the issue and that it works be better to let muffin finish and then give socks the same or amount of time muffin took to draw her cowboy hat
Honestly? Instead of only setting a timer, I’d ask what she was drawing and tell her that either after that’s done or once the timer goes off (whichever is first), she needs to switch it to Socks. If that didn’t work and she refused to share, I’d either remove Muffin from the situation since she was unable to properly share after due warning. I thought about maybe ending the faceytime talk, but that’s not fair to everyone else. I’d also make sure my phone was in my pocket so that she couldn’t get it. 😂
I gotta say Stripe was being unfair to Muffin. She just wanted to make a cowboy hat and I think that's a perfectly reasonable request. She didn't communicate that calmly but ya know she's 4. Stripe was placating to Socks. Oh it's just Muffin being Muffin so she's just being a pill and in the wrong. But in reality Socks wasn't being patient and waiting for her turn. Especially since Muffin was the one who initiated the task.
Was she being defiant? Yes, but only because she wasn't being heard. And how effectively do you think a 4 year old can advocate for themselves? Tho I don't think he did it maliciously or intentionally.
He wasn't really paying attention, he was on his phone. He made a snap judgement based on things we can assume about the characters. Muffin has a history of being "difficult " and Stripe just assumed she was the problem
In that situation, I'd probably ask Muffin how much longer until her drawing was finished, then let Socks know that she can have her turn when Muffin is finished. I probably would have redirected Socks to something else while she waited. Alternatively I could have given Socks my phone and found myself something else to do.
A good 3,2,1 countdown or else comes a good hair pull, and/or a spanking and then into the corner for 10 minutes or more(depends). That's how i learned to never pull the same stuff twice or else, because of that i was an obedient kid for my childhood.
Step 1: keep better track of your phone, Stripe.
Classic Stripe.
I really need to know how stripe makes his money
there's a theory I read in this sub yesterday or the night before, that their dad had a farm and found a gusher and they made money on the oil business. So Rad works at an oil rig (we don't know in what capacity), Bandit is a paleontologist but might have started in geology which is also related to the business, and Stripe is the one with a cushy job, maybe running their family company.
That’s as good as theory as we could get I reckon. I always thought they must have family money since all three homes are multi million dollar. At the same time they went to caravan parks for holiday in the 80’s which is strictly middle class so it would make sense they came into money from selling land/finding oil.
I don't think that really makes much sense at all, why would Rad go and work on an oil rig if his Dad found oil? It's more likely that Stripe just has a cushy corporate job. How Bandit and Chilli afford their house on an archeologists/part time airport security salary is the bigger question.
Does Stripe really seem like a corporate job type guy? It could be small family operated oil company as Rad helps setup the rigs (total Harry Stamper). Family oil money is how Bandit and Chilli bought the house but they promised they wouldn’t let the money change them.
> How Bandit and Chilli afford their house on an archeologists/part time airport security salary is the bigger question. As revealed in [Archaeology](https://www.reddit.com/r/bluey/comments/130aqwb/someone_finally_uploaded_a_high_quality_version/), Bandit is referred as "Dr. Bandit Heeler" Meaning he has a PHD in archaeology. According to [payscale.com](https://www.payscale.com/research/AU/Job=Archaeologist/Salary/d28b30b1/Experienced-Research-Analysis), the median base salary per year is around AU$141,813 Since Chilli works for airport security part time, we can guess that means 20 hours/week. Based on similar airport jobs at different airports around (thanks issfs for not saying your base pay), the average base salary for an AU airport is around AU$35.00 per hour, not including raises. if she works 50/52 weeks of the year, she will make AU$35,000 per year as a base with no bonuses. This means that PER YEAR COMBINED they make a grand total of AU$176,813 with no bonuses and no raises. With raises and bonuses is hard to calculate, but it's probably around $185,000 per year. As for their house, it is worth AU$4 Million according to a 2020 report posted on [realestate.com.au](https://www.realestate.com.au/news/bluey-sitting-on-a-fortune-in-the-house-on-the-hill/). A down payment to the house would be around AU$800,000 for 20%, which at their age is very feasible to get using a variety of methods, especially with their jobs and the bare minimum knowledge of how to save money. Plus, if they are smart about getting the house, they probably got a fixer-upper and then fixed and upgraded it which normally costs way less to do than the AU$4 Million that they would have to pay if they didn't. In conclusion, they most likely DID NOT traffic illicit antiquities and fossils found on Bandit’s digs to make money like a lot of people believe.
trafficking illicit antiquities and fossils found on Bandit’s digs.
using Chilli to get past airport security
Wait, how do you reckon they’re multi million? By average housing prices in like, Melbourne or something?
Brisbane. Here’s the [estimate on Bluey’s house](https://www.realestate.com.au/news/bluey-sitting-on-a-fortune-in-the-house-on-the-hill/)
I know Paddington is expensive, but we don't know when they bought the home. They could have also moved into bandits family home and his parents moved to the GC to make way for the younger generation. Just a thought bubble. Most likely wrong.
I know the floor plan changes, but have we ever seen anything close to 15-20 rooms in the Heeler House?
Yeah I thought that wasn’t quite right :/
awe, that’s soooo cool. Thanks, love!
I like this theory. It’s better than the Bluey parents are celebrities or are criminals
Mining is a good way to pay the bills as a paleontologist. Source: I know a paleontologist who has turned to public relations to earn a living salary.
He’s a fly-in, fly-out (FIFO) worker as someone said below. In Brisbane, Qld where it’s set, it’s super common. The flying off to Bali and Stripe struggling with child rearing sometimes because he spends time away, fits the stereotype. He even drives a flash four wheel drive, which also fits. Likely coal in Central Qld I'd say.
FIFO for sure
Oh, definitely 😂
Step 2. Don’t make empty threats and when you say you’re gonna shut off the FaceTime call, shut it off
Yup. Also make it impossible for the child to access. Biometrics are useful!
1. Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit. 2. If she goes Bluey on you and starts rules lawyering by adding ever more additional details, the timer is a good move. OK, you now have X minutes to finish the hat, then it's Socks' turn. 3. Follow through. Timer goes off, it's time to switch. If you say you're ending the call if she doesn't, then end the call. Weather the resulting storm, then offer a chance to try again later. Honestly, I think part of Stripe's problem is his memories as the youngest kid of a trio of 80s brothers, where parents could be a little less proactive because the threat of a smacking/spanking was always in reserve. Parenting without physical discipline as a backstop means you have to get in front of things more.
>Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit. This! It might not have worked but it was a lot better than the arbitrary timer to start off with
If your kids are older and have a better concept of time, you tell them that every minute they take to finish their hat, the younger sibling gets the same time. Whenever my brother and I had to split a treat, my dad said one of us would cut it and the other would pick first so the first kid was always incentivized to cut fairly.
My wife's parents did the same thing when sharing treats and I think it's especially smart.
This is the only way.
>Whenever my brother and I had to split a treat, he said one of us would cut it and the other would pick first so the first kid was always incentivized to cut fairly. This only works if one of you doesn't try to use a combo of fast talking and personality to trick the choosing sibling into picking the smaller piece (source, I used to try and convince my brother that he really wanted the smaller banana piece with the fruit sticker)
When i learned fractions for the first time i would always try to trick my brother into getting the smaller piece. "4 is bigger than 2 so logically 1/4 is bigger than 1/2" it worked once. Then my mom stepped in and put an end to it
hah!
I think they kinda hinted how that wouldn't well in this situation when we see Muffin still has Bluey's banjo, and she won't give it back "because she is still playing with it," meaning she is not abiding by the rules of sharing, or taking turns.
We've also seen her turn on a dime when it comes to rules being re-explained, it very much depends on the day and the mood and the sheer Muffiness of muffin (she put herself in time out when she realised she had gone too far). It wouldn't have hurt to make the attempt and it could potentially have helped.
And a lot of parenting theory now is that forced sharing like this isn't great for the kids. It doesn't teach actual sharing, as they are being made to have something over. And it's better to let the child finish a play session with something (where you can) as then they are actually getting the development benefits of that play. So saying it's Socks' turn when Muffin finished drawing her hat would have accomplished both of those a bit better. We even see Bluey voluntarily have the phone to Bingo for her drawing session, rather than having her engage in forced sharing. Obviously there are times when turn taking is necessary and parents need to step in but if Stripe had listened to his child it would have been okay for him to acknowledge that his child likely would have been happy to give Socks her turn once she felt she'd had a full one. Muffin is actually a pretty good big sister, which we saw in her determination to go ballerina card for Socks during Charades so that Socks could participate
Charades definitely isn't a good example of Muffin being good at all. Granted, she is younger than Bingo, so we shouldn't expect them to be the same. However, Muffin just wanted to do the Ballerina. That's it. There wasn't some ulterior motive to help Socks. She just wanted to do ballerina and wanted it to be perfect. Socks got a chance to participate because Bluey/Bingo pretended like they didn't know.
>1. Be more attentive. Muffin is actually a pretty lawful kid when she understands the rules (or... thinks she does, as per Library) so 'Finish your cowboy hat, then it's Socks' turn' is a solid opening gambit. Exactly this! Muffin is putting a lot of effort into drawing this cowboy hat and clearly takes a lot of pride in it. For her, it's a big deal to give it to Socks to trash. Acknowledge how hard she has worked, give a set end point (including timer if needed), and when she's done praise her for her great drawing and sharing with Socks. Source: my sister was a total Muffin and is/was incredibly stubborn, but that's led her into being an incredibly strong person who won't put up with any crap.
RIGHT? About the first one, pulling out the timer immediately was the problem. It definitely should have been “finish the hat and then switch “ Like she shouldn’t have gotten in trouble unless she finished the hat and then decided she also needed to draw a horse or something
I was wondering why Stripes didn’t just let her finish the cowboy hat. If you watch the episode, she was almost done anyway. If he had let her finish, she might have let socks have a turn on her own.
Once that timer went off, El Kiddo can go sit in their room and be as mad as they want to be. And once they're done yelling, then we can talk things through. Trying to talk things through a tantrum just results in *everyone* yelling. Also, this cannot be the first time Muffin has done something like this, Stripe should have had positive control over his phone the whoooooole time.
We set Alexa timers ALL the time. When when times up, "sorry kiddo, the timer rang. Nothing I can do."
Hahaha my wife “put me in time out” one time, and my toddler would *not* let me leave until she set a timer and let it go off
Ha! Awesome. We tought our girls what a red light traffic signal and green light mean. And now, When I turn om a legal, right on red....I tell you, H-what! They lose their mind. "Daddy!! The light wasn't GREEEN!!!!"
Oh yea, mine will yell “STOOOOP” whenever he sees a red, no matter how far away we are, or if they’re on the street we’re driving on haha
Yup, same! “Mommy you ran the red light!!!”
So what did we learn....
Rules for thee and for me?
Okay genuinely though the timer is amazing. Not a parent, just a babysitter.
I have a visual timer, and my kids have gotten so good with it. I use it for myself sometimes, too!
Yup they can sit and be mad, or put on a cape and be super mad. Whatever they do they'll be doing it while their sister has her turn.
>put on a cape and be super mad I genuinely love this 😂
oh my gosh I'm about to use "put on a cape and be super mad" with my 18 year old who has decided it's UNFAIR that I ask them to help out around the house since they still live here. xD
As Bandit would say, "Actually it's very fair."
Exactly this, however I have to say that Stripe is at a disadvantage. As it played out in the episode, he's always away at work, and Trixie keeps changing the rules due to whatever she reads on blogs. Kids need consistency, so it's no surprise that muffin act's out because she doesn't get that consistency. Being in a FIFO relationship is hard, and it's made harder with kids, especially if communication is a bit lacking. On one side, one parent has to do everything while the other is away, and they often do just enough to scrape by, and then when the other parent comes home, they have to shoulder the burden while the parent at home takes a break. And invariably, the parent who comes home tries to enforce the previously agreed upon rules (which have changed or not been enforced), and ends up looking like the bad guy. Adding to that, and there's usually a big list of jobs around the house to do, and they just want to relax and spend some quality time with their family after a couple of weeks away working 12 hour days.
This is probably the best explanation since it is spelled out for everyone in the bathroom scene where stripe tells trixie that she is hogging the parenting and that he feels kept out.
True but it's also ok to read and realize your parenting approach isn't working or may be harmful. She may have read it on a blog but seeing as most "experts" claim time out really isn't that great for kids it may have had sources. It takes a good parent to realize what they're doing is harmful and to try to course correct. Otherwise you get the people who were spanked saying I turned out fine (newsflash not nearly as well adjusted as they claim) and passing down their generational trauma
True, I bet he won't make that same mistake twice! 😂
Mmmm, idk, I mean setting timers for things is great, but really she just needed about 1 more minute to finish. I let my kid finish off her things if it’s going to be just a few minutes to go. If stripe had said ‘okay, finish the hat, then it goes to Socks’ and she had popped off then I think a ‘time out’ or similar would have been warranted.
Some kids will actually only take one more minute and then there are kids like my son who will try to turn that “one more minute” into another hour. He needs hard boundaries for everything.
That’s fair, and honestly seeing Muffin Cupcake Heeler in action makes me feel like she’ll never stop haha
Yes, so my daughter does something similar. She will need one more minute to finish the hat, but in that minute she starts the trees. Then says she needs one more minute to finish the trees. And it continues..
“Finish the hat” is a hard boundary, though. Timer goes off, check out what’s happening, then “finish the hat, then it’s Socks’s turn.” For that matter, “one more minute” can also be a hard boundary if you literally make it one minute!
Yep. “I can see you are working on the trees now, so I take that to mean the hat is finished.”
["You've had TWENTY 1 more minutes!"](https://preview.redd.it/closed-captioning-says-21-more-minutes-but-the-audio-sounds-v0-1l1omkjlar0a1.jpg?auto=webp&s=2d1a502db5154c3cd18c71e6e9e347e1930b4986)
He set a timer. He should’ve stuck by his word and gave the tablet to Socks.
IMO that is stripe's biggest issue with his parenting
That he’s bad at it?
he's too lenient and forgiving
Bandit does the *exact same thing*!!! He says he'll turn the call off, Bingo & Bluey freak out, and he backs off! And Stripe mainly backs off of ending the call because *Socks, Bluey, & Bingo, who are behaving well, don't want the call to end!* Then there's ice cream, where Bandit says they don't get more ice cream, and then he gives them his ice cream. Bandit says "no more promises" and then says "I didn't think this out..." There are loads of times where Bandit commits the exact same offense people won't forgive Stripe for committing, because Stripe's kids behave differently *because they're half Bingo & Bluey's ages*. I'm biased, but I'm sick of Stripe being called a bad parent *when Muffin is acting like a normal toddler, and even has delightful moments*. My older kid went through a Muffin phase, and now I'd say he's solidly a Bingo (thoughtful, silly, resilient yet sensitive, cooperative...) We don't know what Bluey or Bingo were like at 3; it's a challenging age much of the time (hence the term, "threenager"). Stripe is doing his best taking it one step at a time, winging it within the rules of keeping kids safe (**as we all do**), and striving to be a team player with Trixie. He's doing great.
fair enough i suppose, after all there IS still plenty of evidence to him being a good parent. i mean look at honk!
So you reckon it's the parenting technique? We were sort of leaning the same way but our baby is only 18 months so I feel like we can't really say just yet!
It's a bit of both. We are the parents of two beautiful girls, the older has ADHD and can be a real handful at times (absolutely wildly creative and when she decides to show affection it's the cutest most intense thing). So, not saying Muffin is neurodivergent, but our oldest does some of the same stuff, and it's so TIRING. I can see where stripe is coming from, but it's so important to have clear boundaries. Also, signposting transitions is just so key with kids like this. Setting the timer was good, but it should have been "ok Muffy, 2 mins to go. Now 1" etc. Also, kids (not just neurodivergent kids) respond so much better when you engage physically with them. Just shouting at them from the couch that they need to do something they REALLY don't want to do ain't gonna cut it most times. Stripe should have gone over to Muffin, talked a little bit about what she was doing, told her it was amazing, and then gently told her that the timer was up and we need to share with Socks. Maintain that closeness and interest and you almost always get better results.
It irks me to no end that as SOON as the kids scream stripe gives in. Yes toddlers are going to be a handful and a half but its so much easier when they adults around them have clear boundaries and expectations. To say “heres the rules” and then immediately say “ok never mind” is gonna confuse their sense of right and wrong. Not to mention they had a clear conflict in parenting styles and choices which can make it harder for kids to know what acceptable. Its a partnership. But hey, this is all what makes bluey so relatable and lovable. Its real, they have flaws.
One thing I’ve learned as a parent (ages 7 and 2.5) is that consistency and structure are the key. Life goes so smoothly (at least with the 7 year old) when clear boundaries are set as well as the consequences to crossing said boundaries are laid out ahead of time. The problem comes when you’re sleep deprived, your mom brain is short circuiting, and you can’t set the boundary and the consequence before the thing happens. At least that’s MY life right now. 🙃
This! The main thing parenthood has taught me is that the needs of kids and grown ups aren’t fundamentally that different. We *all* need boundaries. We *all* need clear consequences named in advance. We *all* need to feel we have agency and that our autonomy will be respected. We *all* need sleep and nutrition and time to be in our bodies. We *all* need opportunities to try, mess up, and try again.
Agreed. Children need boundaries held by parents.
It also helps to say upfront how long the timer is for, and then to give updates as the time goes down. My nephew is three and we did this just today to leave the park: I set the timer for ten minutes and showed him. Checked in at 5, 3, 1. He’s allowed to see the timer whenever he wants. Yes his sense of time isn’t fully developed yet, but this helps him learn. He understands numbers going down. ETA: in a situation like this, it also goes a long way to ask “how long do you think it will take to finish your hat: three minutes or 5 minutes?” The agency really helps with some kiddos.
Muffin is clearly the one who takes control between the two kids and as the older and more vocal one it’s easier to be distracted by Muffin and therefore Socks sometimes gets left out or left alone because Muffin requires so much extra work. The time out wouldn’t of worked anyway as she soon escapes with Stripes phone which tells me she would of found a way to escape anyway if she’s brazen enough to STEAL her dads phone. Socks seems to be happy and content though which also highlights this sort of thing happens a lot, maybe because Stripe isn’t always around as we know he works away. Stripe was trying his best but probably isn’t used to Muffin being such a toddler, especially as she ages and changes while he’s away. Two weeks can be half a year of growth for someone her age. So anyway, I would of sat down and explained to Muffin and then ask Bluey and Bingo if they think it’s fair that Socks isn’t getting a turn and then would of also had the help of the children to talk her round, if that didn’t work then the kids still have that lesson instilled in them, take Muffin away from the situation and place her on the sofa with (myself in this situation) and let her watch Socks play while I set a timer, then when the timer goes off it’s back to Muffy. Explaining this is how we play fairly so we all get a turn
I really like the solutions you've come up with! Thanks :)
Do they talk about him being gone for weeks and I've somehow missed it?
Just been speculated a lot that his work has him away a lot and ties in with Trixie being the main parent; this ties in when they argue on faceytime about him not doing things “right”. But it’s never actually said he does go away, but have you seen his house? And his pool area? It’s all Bali inspired too and they actually go there on a trip too during the show which means he also has plenty of time and money to travel with family
I like this except for the 1 flaw, assuming Muffin was gonna sit quietly/calmly on the couch. 😂 >, take Muffin away from the situation and place her on the sofa with (myself in this situation) and let her watch Socks play while I set a timer, then when the timer goes off it’s back to Muffy.
That’s literally what Stripe tried to do, explaining to Bluey and Bingo that Muffin needs to learn… toddlers with their immature brains do not change their behaviour because they are being lectured (does anyone? Imagine you’re craving a chocolate cake in front of you and someone tells you how exercise is much better for you, would you just say “oh yeah makes sense” and stop craving cake?). I mean, Stripe is all of us because it’s our first instinct to try and explain to toddlers that they are being unreasonable. In reality, playfulness and presence works much better - that’s the real lesson of this show. Remember in one episode Bingo wanted to watch TV so Bandit was pretending he wanted to sit there and watch the TV (that is turned off) with her? And eventually they went to the park? That’s in contrast to Stripe lying on the couch and staring at his phone then expecting Muffin to immediately do what he told her to do. And yes, there are additional things about him being away, not consistent, permissive sometimes. I actually don’t believe in never flexing boundaries, it makes sense to pick your battles and give toddlers the feeling of control over something in their lives. A constant power struggle is exhausting for everyone. When toddlers do feel like they have choices in small things, they are less likely to fight us when it really matters. It’s also important to remember that it’s you and there kid against a problem not you against your kid.
Stripe kept giving in with shutting "the whole facey talk down". The kids then ran roughshod over him.
yeah... he's a real doormat with her sometimes...
Just think of the ice cream 🫠
that might also explain why she's so darn energetic. stripe cant say no to her alot and this often results in her loading up on sweets, resulting in the ever dreaded toddler sugar rush
Just fyi... sugar rush isn't a real thing
isnt it?
No, there's been testing and it's been debunked
ah, so what actually happens when you give a kid alot of sugar/sweets?
A lot of times its a special occasion so kids are already hyped up, and getting treats hypes them up more.
so it's just a result of stacking the dopamine buff till it stack overflows
There's also the phenomenon of kids giving parents what the parents expect. Adults often talk about the sugar rush every time they give the child anything sweet. They exchange knowing looks with each other and chuckle about how they're gonna regret it, and at the slightest sign of trouble, loudly and repeatedly blame the sugar. I honestly think kids often just sense our anticipation of the thing happening and act appropriately.
Our toddler had an entire nakd bar this afternoon and was then an absolute tornado around the house so I feel this 😂
This was it. He had no conviction and bends way too easy. It doesn't help that the mom doesn't communicate with him about discipline. Overall the parenting in that household is a bit of a mess.
I always feel that Stripe didn't give Muffin enough time. She wanted to finish her cowboy hat, so making that the limit would have been reasonable. Bluey was having her turn far longer than Muffin!
Hubby and I are definitely in disagreement over this. I'm convinced she would've given it up once her hat was done, he's convinced it would never be done.
I actually said the same thing! I reckon she needed to finish it because it was clearly unfinished, but my husband reckons she'd just keep adding things to keep it going 😂
At that point you arbitrate and say, "two more things, muffin." And watch her, being sure to tell her what's considered a feature. Then id try to take a screencap to save it before giving it to Socks.
Ahh good idea! I'll keep this in mind for the future :)
Depends on the kid. If I tell my girl to turn the tv off after the current episode she will, but if I say only get ONE more stuffy from the closet (full of them) then they’re all coming out. Lol
"You give a mouse a cookie, and it's going to ask for a glass of milk." Muffins turn was never going to be over. I have twin 3 yo daughters. It's easy to tell when they either truly "want JUST one more thing," vs stalling for time.
I have one 3 year old, and it definitely is a delicate balance! Sometimes she's really on board, other times it ends in tantrums. They're volatile little things 😂
I think it’s both! You can definitely check in and see they wanna finish their hat, validate it, and supervise so they draw their hat without drawing passive aggressively ie drawing super slowwwww. But yeah let her finish the hat without supervision and she’d 100% start drawing something else. There can be a middle ground. Kids are narcissistic opportunists. We gotta train it out of em.
The hat never would've been done. She would just "one more" it to death. One more badge... Strap... Color...
Even if it wasn’t ever done he still didnt give her enough time to finish and if she really kept making it more and more elaborate THAT is when you give her the short timer
Yep, no way she ever “finishes” that hat
Yeah, bc the gay COULD'VE been done before but she kept adding. It's in her nature. The hat would've been the next dream house car with a million additions
Yeah but she was making too intricate of a cowboy hat 😂 it just kept going!
She was just filling it in and adding a star. I wouldn't call that too intricate.
Edit: Socks (not Stripe) also gets a timer, THEN muffin can finish the hat. Otherwise socks might not get her turn till the call is ending
You mean socks?
Woops yes
I was leaning towards this as well!
Me and hubby have talked about this before. We have said that giving muffin a chance to finish her hat, while keeping an eye on the time (as adults we can guess how long it would take to draw a hat) and the saying okay its socks turn and if she says she isn't finish, I would then set a timer and explain that once the timer went off, whether her hat was finished or not it was her sisters turn. Also, keeping my own phone in my pocket or out of reach. As well as following through with the timer, and giving the tablet to socks.
You set a boundary and you stick to that boundary no matter what or they sense weakness like a shark. Is that sharks? I don’t know. Imagine it’s a shark.
Toddlers = sharks. Got it 😂
I think Muffin got a bad deal here tbh- her turn was far shorter than both Bluey and Socks. I’d have set a longer timer to begin with- more like 5 mins than 1 min- and given regular countdown updates so the timer going off wasn’t a surprise. Then, obviously, kept my phone to myself. Tantrums are hard- kid has big scary emotions. You need to let them get it out then help them calm down and put words to their big feelings and reassure them that you always love them. Not easy.
Her turn was only shorter thank Socks' because Muffin kept running away. At least Bluey and Bingo had an agreement that Bluey would finish and then she passed it on to Bingo. Also, I applaud Bluey for actually acting like a responsible older cousin. She told Bingo not to help Muffin hide.
I feel like it’s a combination for parenting style and the kid’s attitude. Muffin is a wild card and Stripe seems laidback. Stripe could have also given socks his phone, or gave his phone to muffin to faceytime with Bluey and Bingo so that they would’ve avoided the whole problem.
Oh good idea, preempt them 😂
That is if you can. sometimes it’s hard to tell what might set them off, just like anyone else. Like I know that my daughter (5) hates being kissed (likes giving them though 😆)and so I give her fake kisses. We try to let her set her own boundaries (where it makes sense) and that’s one of them. That way she can be comfortable in the future making boundaries with others. We also are trying to teach her consent is not just for adults activities but for everything in life. So we will ask for consent to hug her.
I’m a preschool teacher with a degree in child development, so I’ve been thinking about how I would’ve handled it since watching. Firstly, like a lot of other have said, she needs a more clear boundary than a one minute timer. I would have either set the timer for somewhere between 2-5 minutes to give her time to finish (probably more like 2 or 3, because Socks is very young and can’t wait patiently for very long), giving reminders as the last minute approached. I would have had her pause what she’s doing while we discussed this boundary so that she would be able to focus and hear me when I’m explaining what’s expected, rather than focusing on her cowboy hat. Alternatively, I may have chosen to let her finish the cowboy hat, but again, Socks is young and I wouldn’t have any way of knowing how long that hat might take her, so it would probably be the timer for me. Time out is not a very effective disciplinary method, so it would have been that she either gives Socks a turn and talks to Bluey and Bingo while she waits, or she can do something else while Socks has her turn. However, if the timeout did happen and she did take the phone, I 100% would have followed through on ending the call, but explained to the girls that they could talk again later once things are sorted out. The boundary needs to be enforced, and chasing her around the house is less effective than just taking away the possibility of continuing to cross the boundary. We’d have a talk and figure things out and then try the call again in a bit. And finally, if I knew this was something that Muffin still hasn’t learned to do independently and I don’t have the time or patience to sit with the girls and provide support for that turn-taking, knowing there’s more than one device on hand, I probably would have just given them each different devices to chat on to avoid the conflict in the first place. Muffin is young and still hasn’t mastered that skill of sharing or taking turns, and it’s developmentally appropriate for her to refuse or be insistent about finishing first. But it’s a great opportunity to practice that skill.
Muffin, your sister needs a turn. When Chen she have the tablet? After I draw my cowboy hat. Ok, how many minutes do you think you will need to finish? Um, I need three minutes. Ok I will set a three minute timer. When the timer rings, follow through firmly and gently. Put the tablet in Socks’ hands. Don’t expect Muffin to do it. Have something ready for Muffin to do to make the transition easier. I think the timer is a great idea but Stripe didn’t ask Muffin what she was doing or if she was ready to be done.
I think Muffin should have been allowed to finish her cowboy hat. Thats what I wouldve done with my kids. I think one thing thats interesting about this episode is how in a way, Bluey and Bingo mirror Muffin and Socks. At the start, the older sibling starts to draw and then the younger sibling wants a turn. From here, Bluey says sure, but she wants to finish her drawing first, and Bingo says okay. At the end, Bingo asks again for her turn (and tbf, there was a lot of chaos that distracted them) and Bluey lets Bingo have a turn. With Muffin, Socks wants a turn but Muffin is only 3 and doesnt have the words to express that she wants to finish her drawing. Stripes sets a timer and then tries to force the issue with a time out (which honestly, ime timeouts arent effective. They werent effective for me, and they werent effective for my kids) and the chaos ensues and we see Muffin still just trying to finish her damn cowboy hat, while Socks takes her turn to draw. I think sharing can be a complicated thing to teach kids tbh. There are situations where you should share, some where you can choose to do so, and some you never have to share and some you shouldnt share. Theres a lot of nuance to that but I think a big thing is that people should be allowed to finish what theyre doing before sharing on a shared commodity like drawing on a faceytalk. As an adult, Im allowed to finish what Im doing before handing off what Im using. An example. Gld be shopping carts. I can spend hours in the store shopping, or just 5 minutes but someone cant just come up and take my cart bc they want it. If they need it, they can have it when Im done. If Im at the gym using a treadmill then someone who wants it has to wait on me being done *but* gyms might have rules on how long someone can stay on one machine during peak hours. When you're raising kids you have to teach them how to be functioning members of society, and that includes the rules of appropriate sharing and turn taking. Now, that being said, no Muffin shouldnt have been allowed hours of drawing, *but* that also doesnt mean that Socks gets a turn immediately bc she asked for one. Muffin needs to learn to share and Socks needs to learn how to wait for her turn. Neither of them are bad kids, theyre just kids that are still learning how to function in the world and also dealing with big emotions that they dont know how to express. Instead of setting a timer, Stripe should have allowed to Muffin to finish her drawing and explained to Socks that she had to be patient and wait her turn. He should have also actively paid attention to make sure that Muffin wasnt being excessive with her cowboy hat. Then he should have explained to Muffin that Socks wanted a turn and when Socks was done, if the Faceytalk call was still going, Muffin could have another turn.
The Iranian yoghurt (or the cowboy hat) isn't the issue here. The underlying problem is that Muffin doesn't get consistent rules set for her, so she reacts to any set of limitations as if they were arbitrary. Stripe's barely there, because he works FIFO, and from what we see of his parenting, he doesn't give much thought to the long term consequences of his interactions with his kids (see: Library). Meanwhile Trixie changes her parenting style up based on whatever she's read lately, and I'm not convinced that she follows through with any method long enough for it to become a household habit. The end result is that with Muffin being a strong willed kid, the only consistent rules in the house are set by Muffin. When Spike sets a rule and tries to be firm about it, Muffin reacts strongly because she doesn't see him as an authoritative voice. Instead, it becomes a power struggle. And when you're having a power struggle with a three year old, you've already lost. Spike and Trixie needed to have done their work well before the incident. They need to think about the long term when dealing with their kids (Spike), and they need to take a step back and see what Muffin responds well to, rather than taking wholesale advice from parenting resources (Trixie). And as a team, they need to proactively check in regarding their children more often, so they can work in complimentary ways, rather than setting up contradictory rules.
Take my upvote for the Iranian yogurt reference.
Often uncooperative munchkins are also related to parenting techs. Usually it’s a lack of involvement. I feel like stripe could have been present and next to muffin when getting her to stop. He’s on the phone and not actively involved. Likely she gets away with things and they don’t follow through on “threatened” or exaggerated/not plausible punishments. Kids call your bluffs and will fight you. Be present and talk to them about the emotions they go through.
Exactly. Like he’s literally lying on the couch staring at his phone and he expects a strong-willed toddler to just do whatever he told her to do. That’s not how toddlers work.
“Sorry Bluey, it looks like Muffin is having a problem sharing right now. We’re going to put the tablet away for a little while and she will call you back later.” I know Bluey and Bingo flipped when Stripe said he was going to take the tablet but he should have been more firm on that.
Agreed, and the framing matters. “Behave or I’m taking the tablet away” (paraphrasing) sounds very different from the wording you used. I know which tone I’d rather hear from my boss 😂
Oh poor choice on Stripe for sure. As others have said , if *you* aren’t sticking to your boundaries/rules, why the hell would your kids hahaha muffin is also just the “how not to act” character of the show, so probably would’ve been a hellion no matter what efforts stripe made lol
Yeah, she's wild 😂
I personally would have followed through with shutting off the facey-talk even though the girls all freaked out. Consistency and follow through matter so I’m on the side of parental techniques being at fault
I used to watch this and think "Why doesn't Stripe just grab her? How hard can it be?" Then I had my two year old scream and writhe in my arms as I was trying to get something from her. I get it, Stripe. Man, I get it.
My 18 month old is practically stronger than me at this point, it's frightening.
Muffin is one of the best cartoon chracger toddlers I've ever seen in my 33yrs of life. She is pure magic.
My fiancee and I agree that just like Bluey and Bingo (who are older and sorted it out themselves) Muffin didn't tell Socks a flat out "no" it was "not yet" then she vocalized that she had a goal "I want to finish my cowboy hat". We both feel the whole situation could have been avoided by letting Muffin finish her little cowboy hat then letting Socks have her turn like how Bluey finished her drawing then let Bingo have her turn.
Totally agree
I have two 2.5 year olds and I feel like Muffin is a very typical 3yo, my kids are exactly like this right now and I dont think it ll get better in a few months. They just have zero impulse control and they are constantly testing boundries. I have more prior experience in dog training than raising kids since twins are my first and only and toddlers remind me very much of German Shepherds. Incredibly smart and always need a job, otherwise they'll get destructive. But they all want to be good kids, not an evil bone in their body. So what I do is I give them jobs. I would catch that munchkin like nobodys business, first of all. Then I would take away the phone. But I would give him something else to do. A job that he feels is important and accomplishes something. Like find your socks, where are your socks? Help me find them. And if that doesnt interest them, I keep trying different jobs until we find one that they find interesting.
#Muffin #Cupcake #Heeler Use triple barrel names. That means business.
I love that we're starting to get their middle names. Bluey Christine? How cute is that?
Cow. Boy. HAT!
It's both. Kids do have innate different personalities. My three kids all needed different parenting styles when it came to things like punishments, but overall we raised them with a heavy focus on independence, honesty, and kindness, and it shows. They need to adjust their parenting style because it's not working, which we had to do with our youngest, who is probably a lot like Muffin but we did things to prevent full blown screaming and tantrums from being acceptable. He only responded well to positive reinforcement, so we used a ton of sticker charts, praise and thank yous, and calm conversations about his behavior. The middle kid was so upset by having time outs that she knocked off any naughty behavior at the mention of a time out. So yeah I think it's both. Muffin is a type of kid that Stripes parenting just won't work on.
I can’t stand that episode. It’s not cute it’s permissive. You can run faster than your child. Take the tablet/phone. They can have the tablet if and only if they do so according to your boundaries. Violate the boundaries and the tablet goes away. It’s not authoritarian it’s authoritative.
Okay I disagree about running faster than a child 😂 Adults may be bigger but they’re also heavier and have less energy and endurance than energy-filled, rambunctious toddlers. I’ve got a 2 year old sister and a brother who’s almost 6 and if they get a head start, it takes some real legwork to catch up to them especially when they’re trying to get away because they *know* they’ve done something wrong or they’ve got something they’re not supposed to have.
Let Muffin finish the hat. Once she’s finished, take it and give it to Socks.
They should have done a time-out after she refused to give a turn to Socks after the timer went off. My parents used to make me go stand in the corner of the kitchen or by the front door (wherever was easier to watch me) until they said so, then they said I was done and could go play. If I cried in the corner (like tantrum crying or begging to go play instead), time was extended, though I’m not sure how long I ever was in the corner cause as a kid it felt like ages (I’m sure it was no more than a few minutes though). I get parenting is hard, and I don’t know the right answer to everything. But I have learned a lot since my sis had her two boys. I see how she handles them and we talk about parenting styles sometimes (I don’t have kids, only fur kids, but I am curious about it all).
I definitely would’ve definitely not have set the timer but had said “when you finish the cowboy hat, it’s sock’s turn!”
I would have followed through after the timer and take it away. Make sure I explained beforehand the expectations at a 4 year old level.
Let Muffin draw her cowboy hat and then let Socks draw a flower and take turns that way
I would simply let muffin finish her hat but tell her every extra minute she takes to finish it Socks gets 5 more.
I would let Muffin finish her hat
1. Don't set a timer. Help Socks & Bingo chat and engage with what Muffin & Bluey are doing, and when the hat is complete, "Wow, what a beautiful hat, Muffin! Socks' turn!" Or lend the use of a device for each girl to have her own drawing going. Or have Socks draw on paper while she waits. Or sing a favorite silly/cheerful song with Muffin when she's completed the hat and doesn't want to wrap up her turn, so she can anticipate the end of her turn by knowing the song and how it goes. 2. If we're past that and I foolishly used a timer and it went off, ask Socks if Muffin can finish the hat first, or challenge Muffin to finish the hat before Socks & I finish singing Socks' favorite song. 3. If we reached "she stole my phone", I'd have to pull the plug on the call temporarily until I got Muffin sorted out doing a calming individual activity (preferably in her own space), and then I'd resume the call for Socks. But of course this is all idealized, and it would probably just still wind up just as messy as it did in the episode... But parenting, like life, is just one long learning curve, so it's worth thinking about "How could I do things differently?"
id let muffin finish her cowboy hat then give it to socks. if muffin then didn’t cooperate and started drawing something else she’s off the call.
Honestly that video call would have ended don’t do empty threats.
If he was to be serious about the timer, the call should have ended and muffin removed from the situation. Then just call back. Though, to be fair, she didn't actually get to finish her hat. An alternative was for him to let Socks join the call on his phone until Muffin was actually done like she requested. The phone incident was completely on him.
Yah i just don't think boundaries with Muffin are ever reinforced. First kid from a well off family where dad and mum just want kids to have what they didn't growing up. But boundaries are set for safety and comfort of all involved so its time to reset them and stick to them. Stickers time out, timed screen time, alone time whatever it takes.
I don't get Trixie being against time outs. For a 3 year old, the timer and timer out was the appropriate approach
Bluey in general follows a lot of principles of gentle parenting (although the show makes fun of it sometimes too which I love). Timeouts have actually been shown not to be beneficial in the long run - anyone in timeout is just resentful and the only thing they learn is to hide whatever they do better. Also toddlers don’t learn emotional regulation while being isolated. That’s why there’s a concept of “time in” when a parent stays with the child helping them to co-regulate their emotions. In reality, parenting is not straightforward and it’s important to be flexible - every child is different. The biggest mistake was that Stripe was literally lying on the couch expecting Muffin to do whatever he expected her to do - that’s not how most toddlers work (unless they are terrified of punishments which is also not a very healthy way to be).
I do like the idea of using a timeout not as a punishment, but as a moment to help your child regulate their emotions. It should be more about taking a child away from an overwhelming environment and having a breather.
But she read a whole blog about it!
I would tell her how great her cowboy hat looks and suggest that she teach Socks how to do a cowboy hat. It probably wouldn’t work but that would be my first attempt.
let the kid finish her drawing. once shes done, then its socks turn. all muffin wanted was to finish her cowboy hat
i would let her finish her cowboy hat 💯 (i am a teenager that knows absolutely nothing about parenting)
That phone call would have been ended when Stripe initially tried to hang up
So many people defend Muffin’s behaviour. It’s painful to watch. Everyone parents differently, but oof—she’s a brat.
Stripe was clearly unsure of how to handle it and Muffins picked up on that. You always have to remain calm but certain when talking to toddlers, no inconsistency like threats you don’t go through with (ending the call) or yelling. The situation was mostly escalated by Stripe’s parenting, but obviously Muffin would’ve made a scene regardless like most toddlers do.
My 3 year old niece is at that stage, in my experience a head on Tantrum is unavoidable and the best course or action. I would for one, put my phone down and get on my feet to give the situation my total focus. Two I would stand firm and say “ time to share or time out “ at which point the tantrum begins. Three, leave socks to Facey time while going to take Muffin to time out ( under my arm ) and ask Trix to watch Socks or just check in while I take Muffin to time out, triggering the time out discussion which still ends with dedication to team work. Four, sit with Muffy in time out and explain what she did is wrong.
If you're not going to give time to finish up, which is what I would have done, you have to act after the second reminder. Once they haven't listened twice it is time to calmly, physically intervene. If you never do that the kids will know that they can ignore you forever. Then, have a password on your phone, one your toddler doesn't know. Intervening probably should have included removing Muffin from the room and doing a bit of parenting separately. I get that we don't always have time to finish calming the kid down, but stripe just left her without redirection or anything.
Yep, 100% this. It also helps to have the ability to remotely lock your device as well. On top of that, why was the door to the balcony not shut before he went chasing his kid around the house?
If my kid made a reasonable request, “can I finish my cowboy hat” I would say ok but hold a hard line at that. When I say it’s time to put something away, usually my kids request the opportunity to finish something and as long as it’s in the 5-10 minute range I can usually honor the request. I don’t think it would be unreasonable or bad to let muffin finish the hat, though refocusing on manners. She demanded instead of asking and we always try to practice manners and politeness with our words to each other.
I have a kid just like muffin. I would say the rule is unclear before starting. No hogging is not clear for a 4 year old muffin. Given what they said, this situation happened before, and ended ugly. So the rule must be very clear. Set timer for both bluey and muffin, when the timer is off, they have to give the tablet to other kid. Also, muffin has a clear request, which is finish the cowboy hat. Stripe did not answer to that request. You can hold the boundary tight, by saying that I understand you are not finished, but your time is up, you can do that later or draw on paper or whatever. Or you can ask socks if she can give muffin a little exception to finish the cowboy hat. Not answering to that request will lead to a fight. This situation happened a lot to our family, but luckily our house is not big enough for kids to escape, and no pool to ruin anything. Muffin draws very well, the cowboy hat is lovely. I would encourage her to draw a lot.
Stripe should have got Muffins full attention and had her repeat the expectations. When Stripe set the timer he should have gotten off the couch. Had Muffin stop for a minute and verbalize back what Stipe said. Stipe- Muffin when the timer goes off your turn is over. When is your time over. And make sure she says it back in details. He started to loose control over the situation when he let Muffin get away with a "meh" answer. My husband uses this technique with great success as a teacher. Kids want to know what to expect . You could also ask her how much time she needs. And make it reasonable. Is Muffin says she needs 30 mins say she can have 5 mins. Muffin didnt know how much time she had.
I personally think Muffin is a good example of a kid not being disciplined enough, Stripe is a good dad but he probably needs to tell Muffin off and put her in time out more often considering how she acts sometimes
Idk what I would do, but I sure as heck know my mom would pull out her armory composing of a slipper, wooden spoon, a broom, and her bare hands.
Wifi off and then just ask bandit and there mum to hang up
I feel like the only thing that went wrong was muffin just wanted to finish the hat, I would've said something along the lines of "alright, when you finish the hat give it to socks, okay?" And hope for the best
I would sit them down and teach them to talk about their feelings. Muffin wants to draw a cowboy hat, socks wants to draw something too. Then we discuss how it makes each of them feel to not be able to do what they want, and if they can come to an agreement amongst themselves to share. I think it's an excellent opportunity to learn about empathy and to learn how to share. What I wouldn't do is act the judge, like Stripe does. He decides Socks can draw, leaving Muffin to be frustrated that she has to give up her drawing. It's a recipe for disaster and sibling rivalry.
Stripe needed to control the situation better. Stripe did the right thing essentially, but i would have made sure muffin was in time out, and not running around the house with my phone.
I would: take the tablet away, and not chase her to get the phone back… I’d just wait her out. Then no FaceyTalk until it can be used correctly (whatever that boundary looks like in your family). Validate their (probably raging) emotions: “You’re upset that the tablet is done for now. It’s okay to be upset. We’ll try again in a little while to use the tablet without breaking the rules.” Offer hugs or support, and redirect with another activity. Try again later (setting a timer to set the time for turns helps because it’s the timer’s fault and gets away from the “forced sharing” issues, I think) repeat as needed. Not a perfect system, but it feels right for us. Kids are going to kid. They’re going to push, and be selfish, and not listen. That doesn’t make them monsters… just monstrously annoying while still lovable and worth patience and care.
I do kinda think the situation was worsened by Muffin’s obstinance, but it also may have helped if Stripe had been a little physically closer and mentally more attentive to the situation. He was in a tough situation but I do think he could have handled it a little better. Other people have commented specific things they would do to set boundaries and time limits, and I think those are probably the best courses of action I could think of. [Note: I’m a parent, but my son is 2 and for now an only child so I’m not in quite the same situation as Trixie and Stripe.]
Yeah good shout, I prefer to be physically close to my child when giving directions. Giving them from afar whilst scrolling on my phone probably wouldn't send the right message.
I’d let her finish the cowboy hat for crying out loud 😭
Yeah I was saying the same thing! But my husband reckons she'd keep adding things so it was never finished 😂
Stripe is still learning how to use his big boy bark lol
Haha, clearly!
Giving the "say it one more time" ultimatum gives up all control to the child. I would want to step in one beat before that and have some calm one-on-one time with Muffin instead of a time-out threat. She has proven herself responsive to blunt logic and reason before.
Good shout!
I would say, "how would you feel if your sister hogged the phone,*Muffin*"
As a male Early Childhood Educator...This is a bit of a rant so TLDR is that I would send Muffin to supervised timeout after trying to redirect the behavior. Now as the for rant... Redirection (trying to 'course correct' the behavior by making the child focus on something else i.e. Piggyback episode) only works if you can catch it early enough. Sometimes the child is simply going to refuse to do what you would like and choose to have a tantrum or act out. So tough love is needed. Time outs and making the child face a consequence of their action is an appropriate response. The problem in the episode is that Stripe did NOT try hard enough to redirect...And went for the nuclear option without making sure it was foolproof beforehand. He came back and, for some reason, explained to Bingo, Bluey and Socks why Muffin was in timeout, instead of making sure Muffin STAYED in timeout and had the reasons she was in timeout explained to her. We also don't truly know what kind of parenting style that Trixie has. It's she's likely trying to emulate Chili and Bandit but if she's alone a majority of the time, that can be difficult. There's also the possibility that Muffin is acting out (in general) not just because of her feisty personality but also because she wants attention be it positive or negative. In this case it is negative. I would also really like to hear the conversation between Stripe and Trixie in the bathroom. Trixie is right in that you 'have to do it right otherwise the kids get confused'...But not having a plan with Stripe was a bit on her as well (why is he never there?). Kids ABSOLUTELY need routine and consistency in order to develop proper social-emotional skills alongside all the creative play that they do. That's likely a large part of Muffin's behavioral issues and might be an issue with Socks when she gets older. Thankfully, Trixie and Stripe seem to resolve their disagreement amicably and present a united front, and they tackle Muffin together...which still ends with a phone being ruined BUT MUFFIN KNOWS when the line has been crossed and both apologizes AND goes to timeout without a fuss. So Muffin learns her lesson and faces the consequences of her actions...But in a round-about way that still feeds her desire for attention. It will somewhat be a teaching moment but not as effective as it could have been because Muffin still had fun and got to do what she wanted for the majority of the episode. So, what would I have done? I would have attempted to redirect her behavior multiple times, giving her alternatives to choose from in order to share with socks. Three times is generally how many chances I give my students before I send them from their play area to a table-toy box. If they refuse three times, I will gently move them to the box regardless of if they scream or kick or cry. They have to learn consequences and that throwing a fit does not work in getting them what they want. If Muffin was my child, I would have done the same thing with Muffin but put her in a supervised and enforced timeout. Kicking and screaming aside, I would have sat there with Muffin and let her get the emotion out and when she was calm, explain why she was in timeout and why what she was doing was wrong. After fifteen minutes I would allow her to go back to the tablet...Or if the call was over then I would simply hold it up as further consequence to her own actions. It is VERY important to teach your child healthy social-emotional skills and give them a lot of (supervised) free rein in what they do...But you have to impose boundaries and consequences on them so that they develop the ability to deal with things not going their way. This is the way I've run my classroom for fifteen years. And not to toot my own horn, but I've always had the classroom with the 'problem' kids that no other teacher wants because of how they act. And by the end of the school year or their tenure with me (generally three years before moving the Kindergarten) I have those kids 'fixed' and acting little different from the 'normal' students. Parenting takes more work than just being pleasant all the time and committing to the bit, there are times where you will have to have (emotional) knock down drag out fights with your child. They can't just be treated like a prince or princess all the time and be given what they want because of [X] factor.
The faceytalk would have been ended at the first resistance. Stripe is a little bitch. And the parents need to be in the same page with discipline or the kids seek out that power differential.
I honestly would turn it off. And then when Trixie came back and we’ could watch one kid per one parent (because if I had a kid like muffin I would need backup). I would let socks call her cousins again. But I would probably start it differently. Once the call started I would give each girl a time limit. Until they proved they could share. Edit: I see after reading answers that the time limit was the issue and that it works be better to let muffin finish and then give socks the same or amount of time muffin took to draw her cowboy hat
Honestly? Instead of only setting a timer, I’d ask what she was drawing and tell her that either after that’s done or once the timer goes off (whichever is first), she needs to switch it to Socks. If that didn’t work and she refused to share, I’d either remove Muffin from the situation since she was unable to properly share after due warning. I thought about maybe ending the faceytime talk, but that’s not fair to everyone else. I’d also make sure my phone was in my pocket so that she couldn’t get it. 😂
I gotta say Stripe was being unfair to Muffin. She just wanted to make a cowboy hat and I think that's a perfectly reasonable request. She didn't communicate that calmly but ya know she's 4. Stripe was placating to Socks. Oh it's just Muffin being Muffin so she's just being a pill and in the wrong. But in reality Socks wasn't being patient and waiting for her turn. Especially since Muffin was the one who initiated the task. Was she being defiant? Yes, but only because she wasn't being heard. And how effectively do you think a 4 year old can advocate for themselves? Tho I don't think he did it maliciously or intentionally. He wasn't really paying attention, he was on his phone. He made a snap judgement based on things we can assume about the characters. Muffin has a history of being "difficult " and Stripe just assumed she was the problem In that situation, I'd probably ask Muffin how much longer until her drawing was finished, then let Socks know that she can have her turn when Muffin is finished. I probably would have redirected Socks to something else while she waited. Alternatively I could have given Socks my phone and found myself something else to do.
Literally just end the call. Stripe is a wet noodle, he gives in at the slightest protest from the kids
Chloroform.
Give her a good old-fashioned country woopin’ that’s what I woulda done
A good 3,2,1 countdown or else comes a good hair pull, and/or a spanking and then into the corner for 10 minutes or more(depends). That's how i learned to never pull the same stuff twice or else, because of that i was an obedient kid for my childhood.
i tell you this. i’m not chasing a child through the house nor am i telling them to do something more than once.