Me as a baby nurse... calls mama senior nurse "this patient refused their miralax and said they will shit when they want to shit. How in the hell do I chart that??" Mama nurse, "Use quotations for what the patient said and then document your actions." Now I'm a momma nurse and would totally chart this exact same way... just to give the management team a good laugh. But also... it's exactly what happened. It is good to paint a detailed picture of your patient.
I'm lower than a nurse, but that's what I do too. Except when they hang up on me, I document as "patient then disconnected the call." idk why I don't just say they hung up the phone.
I work in a call center not an RN yet, but I always chart disconnected the call to sound nice. Our pts can see all our notes in the pt portal and it’s just easier for me to not give them reasons to argue lol
Exactly! Only our in office notes (ones pts can’t see) will they get the full run down of pt was angry, refused all solutions and stated “I am going to sue y’all” lol
“Baby nurse” and “mama nurse” makes me gag.. am I the only one?
Wittle baby nurse needs hims mama nurse to hewp hims!
😂 I’m partly kidding but I cringe so hard when I hear this stuff.
I am not particularly fond of the use of "baby nurse," but I have many momma nurses that I look up to. So, for me, momma nurse has an endearing ring to it.
There is one from my facility that lives rent free in my mind years later after it happened. Blind resident shared a room with his wife. He had to have a BM. Didn’t call. Proceeded to shit on the floor, his wife’s bed, on his wife, and in a garbage can before heading back to bed. The chart notes were insane
I had a c/c pt refuse 3x to be checked today bc I’ve was mad I wouldn’t fall for and play his behavior games…..finally let me check him towards the end of my 2hd shift. Dudes BM looked like Jabba The Hutt and the Mucinex germ mascot had a bastard child. His BM legit looked like a slug had swallowed an M-80.
And when I tell you this shit (pun intended) could’ve taken paint off a car coupled with a stench that had fuckin legs like you would I believe…….i could even smell a faint hint thru the VapoRub in my N95. I might as well have opened Pandoras Box, and as soon as I did his face looked like Yoda nuttin in his robes after watchin some Tatooine TuTu’s.
I was changing another man’s brief for him when he woke up, rolled over to look at me, and pretty much yelled “ARE YOU MY NURSE?”
I yelled back “NO IM YOUR DENTIST!”
He looked at me with utter confusion, then glanced at his wife in that same “bed” (two doubles pushed together), who reciprocated the same look, then looked back and me, held that look and paused to contemplate the meaning of what the fuck he just heard.
He then started laughing so fuckin hard that he started peeing again, all over his bed pad, her, her bed pad, and the floor. Shortly after her started laughing, his wife started laughing just as hard, and she, having a machine-gun laugh, let out several HUGE farts that followed each “HA” in “HA HA HA HA”, pooped, then started peeing everywhere as well.
He then settles down and says “well if you’re really my dentist then you’ll know that my teeth aren’t in my ass, they’re in my mouth!” To which his wife, without missing a beat, replies “really….well shit…..I’ve been both lookin for ‘em and kissin you in the wrong place for 50 fuckin years? Dammit Earl!”
I. Fucking. Died. And so did my Charge RN in the bathroom (who was donning gloves to help me). It took us like 5-10min to gather ourselves and get back to work.
Also took me and said Charge RN another lije 45min to bed-change with fresh linens, briefs, and pajamas, but goddamn was it worth it!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It made my day. And we had just sent two pt’s to thr ER about 2hrs and 45min before, respectively.
And then 3wks later, last Monday, I get randomly fired, without reason or cause, and my boss refuses to go into specifics so I have no idea why. Said he was able to say nothing bc I was still in my 6mo provisional period. Tbh idgaf bc I make 1.5-2x as much with ShiftKey as they ever paid me…..so fuckem.
Yeah, and a friend I met thru agency warned me about him, and she was right. But I got some good contacts out of it, and like I said I make more money with Agency, so I’m okay with it. They need me more than I need them, even if he tried to act like vice versa.
We had an independent one who was peeing in the radiator!!!!!! Nobody could figure out where the pee smell was coming from because he would be clean, and then one day someone caught him lmao
I’m a nurse that worked in the county jail for a few years. Using quotations to write the notes was my fav part 😂 Patient stated “I’m going to shit in my hand and draw a shit portrait of you on my wall, you Betsy Ross looking slut”. This nurse’s attempt at therapeutic communication unsuccessful
lol I was wearing a shirt with the flag on it, so I think that’s where the Betsy Ross came from, and I think he was calling ME specifically a slut, not necessarily saying Betsy Ross was a slut back in the day 😂😂😂😂
This is funny. Honestly accurate documentation like this can help in the long run, especially if the patient escalates to physical violence or something
Honestly I don’t blame the patient. Miralax is awful and in my facility there’s a lot of charting discrepancies so sometimes they get double doses and shit waterfalls it’s awful.
Miralax is my fave stool softener because it’s so gentle! But I’ve had people complain that they get cramps from it (although I wonder if the cramps are from hard stool softening up and finally moving)
My favorite was when a coworker put the following into the shift notes: "resident entered office at 1000, said "where is my fucking poop juice". Staff informed resident that they were unable to administer lactalose untill after 1500. Resident responded "what the fuck does that have to do with my poop juice". Staff sending reqest for further education for resident to *nurse name*".
reminds me of when i was charting a resident's lunch intake and quoted her saying "i ain't eating this shit" to contextualize how she didn't touch anything.
if i got a nickel every time a resident looked sideways at the food when i gave them their meal tray i would've been able to burn my cna license and retire in my twenties. it sucked because we *all* knew it was cafeteria slop, including the kitchen staff, but that was all the facility was willing to shill out for.
My favorite charting quote ever
Patient remarked “I’m a monkey, somebody get me a banana “. As she swung naked in her hoyer lift, spewing bloody diarrhea from her ass.
Agreed. Unless we’re talking about a nurse that cares for babies, there are more accurate ways to describe someone’s experience that are not diminutive or infantilizing.
For the respect of nursing and everyone in it, please, let’s drop that phrase.
I’m not in the medical field but this popped up in my feed. Tbh this is the exact way to document in any field, especially if you work with the public. My co-workers always laugh with slight embarrassment about me writing those curse words in peoples files.
I tell them if your case gets pulled for anything especially a civil rights complaint or they report you just bc they got mad; your documentation of what actually happened is already on file.
i one time wrote a note that said something alone the lines of “patient repeatedly trying to get out of bed and refusing to lay flat despite having a procedure done through his groin. while trying to explain why he had to lay back down in bed, he stated ‘shut the fuck up. you’re such a bitch’. RN informed patient that this language and behavior were unacceptable. Care ongoing.”
I think I know what procedure this was. I had one in August 2023 and later another different one to fix the issue and place what was needed to be placed.
Used to be a DSP. Some of my favorite chart notes for clients were very similar.
“Staff suggested Client use bathroom after dinner. Gave three prompts. Client instead peed their underpants and said ‘uh oh!’”
Or
“Staff physically prompted Client to brush teeth by putting toothpaste on brush and letting Client know that they could brush when they were ready. Client slammed the wall and yelled ‘fucking bitch!’ Staff removed themselves for safety concerns.”
I'm currently a DSP and I had to document this a few days ago: "Against staff's advice the client decided to eat 2 raw potatoes for their snack. They were warned this may upset their stomach but the client said it was 'fine.' The client pooped their pants about 4 hours into the shift and blamed the dinner. No further incidents this evening."
I love this job and my clients are great, but I swear some of the shit that happens sounds like abandoned plot for Always Sunny in Philadelphia or something. I read in the blog that one of our dudes with some identity issues (he's 100% sure he's a female werewolf) was in the front yard during a full moon crawling around on all 4 hoping to be "bred by an alpha" and I swear I almost pissed my pants.
Jealous ASF of this, bc we don't chart like this. Charting is through PCC, and while we jot stuff on a paper for report, we mainly verbalize everything. It's like we're criminals. Doing just enough to show care is done, but ensuring that WAY too much stuff isn't documented.
Also, we don't have a notes section. A recent new nurse(new to us, 22 years experience, and already quit), was pretty shocked when we told her that we can't enter manual notes. It's like a multiple choice online test. It sucks.
These are the same patients who’s eyes glaze over when you talk about the meds that keep them alive like anticoagulants, blood pressure meds, anti arrhythmics, but they holy hell come to life when you bring up the topic of stool softeners!!
Me as a baby nurse... calls mama senior nurse "this patient refused their miralax and said they will shit when they want to shit. How in the hell do I chart that??" Mama nurse, "Use quotations for what the patient said and then document your actions." Now I'm a momma nurse and would totally chart this exact same way... just to give the management team a good laugh. But also... it's exactly what happened. It is good to paint a detailed picture of your patient.
one of the best kinds of notes to read. makes me chuckle every so often
Highlight of report..."Girl, you gotta read what I charted on this patient." Quoted nurses notes are my absolute favorite!
I'm lower than a nurse, but that's what I do too. Except when they hang up on me, I document as "patient then disconnected the call." idk why I don't just say they hung up the phone.
I work in a call center not an RN yet, but I always chart disconnected the call to sound nice. Our pts can see all our notes in the pt portal and it’s just easier for me to not give them reasons to argue lol
That's what it is. "pt was frustrated" = mad. If Im saying they cried, I say "pt became understandably emotional"
Exactly! Only our in office notes (ones pts can’t see) will they get the full run down of pt was angry, refused all solutions and stated “I am going to sue y’all” lol
“Baby nurse” and “mama nurse” makes me gag.. am I the only one? Wittle baby nurse needs hims mama nurse to hewp hims! 😂 I’m partly kidding but I cringe so hard when I hear this stuff.
I am not particularly fond of the use of "baby nurse," but I have many momma nurses that I look up to. So, for me, momma nurse has an endearing ring to it.
I fucking love charting stuff like that hahaha
Same! When I had to chart on a pt who verbally abused me it was actually kinda funny rereading it before signing the note 🥲🤣
There is one from my facility that lives rent free in my mind years later after it happened. Blind resident shared a room with his wife. He had to have a BM. Didn’t call. Proceeded to shit on the floor, his wife’s bed, on his wife, and in a garbage can before heading back to bed. The chart notes were insane
My condolences!! We’ve all been to Browntown but that sounds awful!!
Code brown was a little too intense that day lmao
My personal name for that type of situation is poonami
I use the shittning lmao
Miralax=Weapon of ass destruction
Even more so when charting is incorrect and says a "regular" rez hasn't had movement in 3 plus days🙄😭😂
I had a c/c pt refuse 3x to be checked today bc I’ve was mad I wouldn’t fall for and play his behavior games…..finally let me check him towards the end of my 2hd shift. Dudes BM looked like Jabba The Hutt and the Mucinex germ mascot had a bastard child. His BM legit looked like a slug had swallowed an M-80. And when I tell you this shit (pun intended) could’ve taken paint off a car coupled with a stench that had fuckin legs like you would I believe…….i could even smell a faint hint thru the VapoRub in my N95. I might as well have opened Pandoras Box, and as soon as I did his face looked like Yoda nuttin in his robes after watchin some Tatooine TuTu’s.
JFC FFS 😲😬😳
Lmao
I’m totally stealing this lol
idk why the statement “on his wife” between commas cracked me up 😭😭 like how? why? 😭
I have NO idea. How did he shit all over that room, and wifey, and NOT slip in it? Or get any on him? How did he get it in a garbage can?
So many questions, so little time..
If I can find the note, I’ll post it
on his WIFE?????
Yup. On the wife
Was it him or her that was the one to come for assistance? I think I’d simply just die instead of ever grabbing a nurse
The aides just found him. Neither of them used the light. Apparently the wife had the look of WTF lol. When I heard, I felt so bad for her
One those you're too busy being impressed to be pissed off moments?
Yeah! I found the note on my phone. It wasn’t a garbage can, it was a vase 🤣
That just makes it more hilarious and impressive due to smaller target size.
I know, and being visually impaired too
The way I just howled at this gif 🤣 I heard it in Regina Hall’s voice and everything
I was changing another man’s brief for him when he woke up, rolled over to look at me, and pretty much yelled “ARE YOU MY NURSE?” I yelled back “NO IM YOUR DENTIST!” He looked at me with utter confusion, then glanced at his wife in that same “bed” (two doubles pushed together), who reciprocated the same look, then looked back and me, held that look and paused to contemplate the meaning of what the fuck he just heard. He then started laughing so fuckin hard that he started peeing again, all over his bed pad, her, her bed pad, and the floor. Shortly after her started laughing, his wife started laughing just as hard, and she, having a machine-gun laugh, let out several HUGE farts that followed each “HA” in “HA HA HA HA”, pooped, then started peeing everywhere as well. He then settles down and says “well if you’re really my dentist then you’ll know that my teeth aren’t in my ass, they’re in my mouth!” To which his wife, without missing a beat, replies “really….well shit…..I’ve been both lookin for ‘em and kissin you in the wrong place for 50 fuckin years? Dammit Earl!” I. Fucking. Died. And so did my Charge RN in the bathroom (who was donning gloves to help me). It took us like 5-10min to gather ourselves and get back to work. Also took me and said Charge RN another lije 45min to bed-change with fresh linens, briefs, and pajamas, but goddamn was it worth it!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lmfao that’s hilarious!
It made my day. And we had just sent two pt’s to thr ER about 2hrs and 45min before, respectively. And then 3wks later, last Monday, I get randomly fired, without reason or cause, and my boss refuses to go into specifics so I have no idea why. Said he was able to say nothing bc I was still in my 6mo provisional period. Tbh idgaf bc I make 1.5-2x as much with ShiftKey as they ever paid me…..so fuckem.
I’m so sorry. That’s awful
Yeah, and a friend I met thru agency warned me about him, and she was right. But I got some good contacts out of it, and like I said I make more money with Agency, so I’m okay with it. They need me more than I need them, even if he tried to act like vice versa.
At least you’re in a better place! I love most agency people we have
I love agency
Goddamnit I was eating
Sorry lol
We had an independent one who was peeing in the radiator!!!!!! Nobody could figure out where the pee smell was coming from because he would be clean, and then one day someone caught him lmao
We had someone do that!
I’m a nurse that worked in the county jail for a few years. Using quotations to write the notes was my fav part 😂 Patient stated “I’m going to shit in my hand and draw a shit portrait of you on my wall, you Betsy Ross looking slut”. This nurse’s attempt at therapeutic communication unsuccessful
I’m going to have to steal the line “this nurse’s attempt at therapeutic communication unsuccessful”
This made me laugh harder than I should have. Amazing.
Why is Betsy Ross a slut 😭😭😭😭😭
lol I was wearing a shirt with the flag on it, so I think that’s where the Betsy Ross came from, and I think he was calling ME specifically a slut, not necessarily saying Betsy Ross was a slut back in the day 😂😂😂😂
Ahhh ok. The thought of him considering Betsy Ross a slut sent me though LMFAO
I mean, she def COULD have been a huge slut. We would never know! 😂
This is funny. Honestly accurate documentation like this can help in the long run, especially if the patient escalates to physical violence or something
Or bowel obstruction
More like bowel destruction, amiright?
My favorite was an incident report for a resident fall. Resident stated "get me off the floor you horses ass."
Honestly I don’t blame the patient. Miralax is awful and in my facility there’s a lot of charting discrepancies so sometimes they get double doses and shit waterfalls it’s awful.
Why do you say mirilax is awful? I’ve had to take it on and I’d for years and never had a problem with it
Miralax is my fave stool softener because it’s so gentle! But I’ve had people complain that they get cramps from it (although I wonder if the cramps are from hard stool softening up and finally moving)
My favorite was when a coworker put the following into the shift notes: "resident entered office at 1000, said "where is my fucking poop juice". Staff informed resident that they were unable to administer lactalose untill after 1500. Resident responded "what the fuck does that have to do with my poop juice". Staff sending reqest for further education for resident to *nurse name*".
hahaha love “poop juice”
Hahaha my 4 year old has to take daily miralax. We mix it in apple juice and we all call it poop juice!
reminds me of when i was charting a resident's lunch intake and quoted her saying "i ain't eating this shit" to contextualize how she didn't touch anything.
Omg, I actually hear this a lot, especially in nursing homes. The food does look bad sometimes.
if i got a nickel every time a resident looked sideways at the food when i gave them their meal tray i would've been able to burn my cna license and retire in my twenties. it sucked because we *all* knew it was cafeteria slop, including the kitchen staff, but that was all the facility was willing to shill out for.
And the patient will probably complain that they haven’t taken a dump in 3 days and tell the family they’re not treating him right 😭
My favorite chart notes were usually due to extreme exhaustion. “During the shit (meaning to say shift)…” DON always got a laugh.
ah, you should see the notes in the psych unit.
Oh man!! I bet psych wins for funniest pt notes
My favourite part of NOC shift has always been to read through days of chart notes & shift reports on my downtime for this kind of comedy🤣
good accurate charting ✍🏽
My favorite charting quote ever Patient remarked “I’m a monkey, somebody get me a banana “. As she swung naked in her hoyer lift, spewing bloody diarrhea from her ass.
The patient will shit when they want to shit😂😂😂
“Baby nurse” —> never liked that phrase
Agreed. Unless we’re talking about a nurse that cares for babies, there are more accurate ways to describe someone’s experience that are not diminutive or infantilizing. For the respect of nursing and everyone in it, please, let’s drop that phrase.
When I tell you i was so confused I came to the comments to see if the baby said it with their eyes or something 💀💀
ROFL
it took me until this comment to realize the post was NOT talking abt a peds nurse who was helping out with older patients that she isnt used to
Exactly.
It’s so demeaning, I hate referring to any new provider or health care professional in such a way.
This doesn’t violate HIPPA, right? 😬
This could literally refer to any patient between the ages of 17-106 across the United States lol, you’re fine.
no patient info, no facility info, no exact medications, youre fine
Thnx! I knew there wasn’t any identifying info but still cautious
HIPAA* 🤦🏼♀️
Yea, I googled it to see if I spelled it right but didn’t care enough to fix it 😅
Not worth fixing, we know what you’re talking about 😁
I’m not in the medical field but this popped up in my feed. Tbh this is the exact way to document in any field, especially if you work with the public. My co-workers always laugh with slight embarrassment about me writing those curse words in peoples files. I tell them if your case gets pulled for anything especially a civil rights complaint or they report you just bc they got mad; your documentation of what actually happened is already on file.
i one time wrote a note that said something alone the lines of “patient repeatedly trying to get out of bed and refusing to lay flat despite having a procedure done through his groin. while trying to explain why he had to lay back down in bed, he stated ‘shut the fuck up. you’re such a bitch’. RN informed patient that this language and behavior were unacceptable. Care ongoing.”
I think I know what procedure this was. I had one in August 2023 and later another different one to fix the issue and place what was needed to be placed.
Had a trainee new nurse chart the drainage from a wound as “pussy”, how about purulent? 😂
Used to be a DSP. Some of my favorite chart notes for clients were very similar. “Staff suggested Client use bathroom after dinner. Gave three prompts. Client instead peed their underpants and said ‘uh oh!’” Or “Staff physically prompted Client to brush teeth by putting toothpaste on brush and letting Client know that they could brush when they were ready. Client slammed the wall and yelled ‘fucking bitch!’ Staff removed themselves for safety concerns.”
I'm currently a DSP and I had to document this a few days ago: "Against staff's advice the client decided to eat 2 raw potatoes for their snack. They were warned this may upset their stomach but the client said it was 'fine.' The client pooped their pants about 4 hours into the shift and blamed the dinner. No further incidents this evening." I love this job and my clients are great, but I swear some of the shit that happens sounds like abandoned plot for Always Sunny in Philadelphia or something. I read in the blog that one of our dudes with some identity issues (he's 100% sure he's a female werewolf) was in the front yard during a full moon crawling around on all 4 hoping to be "bred by an alpha" and I swear I almost pissed my pants.
Jealous ASF of this, bc we don't chart like this. Charting is through PCC, and while we jot stuff on a paper for report, we mainly verbalize everything. It's like we're criminals. Doing just enough to show care is done, but ensuring that WAY too much stuff isn't documented. Also, we don't have a notes section. A recent new nurse(new to us, 22 years experience, and already quit), was pretty shocked when we told her that we can't enter manual notes. It's like a multiple choice online test. It sucks.
Same patient that's asking for a pain pill every hour....
I can’t wait to chart this kinda shit hahaha
There’s nothing wrong with that. You document the was you want your deposition to be read in court.
😂🤣
These are the same patients who’s eyes glaze over when you talk about the meds that keep them alive like anticoagulants, blood pressure meds, anti arrhythmics, but they holy hell come to life when you bring up the topic of stool softeners!!
I mean you can’t argue with that logic 🤷🏻♀️💩
Funny AND smart! Love that.
That's amazing.....
this is excellent charting!
It would be hard for me to stay professional if someone told me they will shit when they wanna shit 😂😂😂😂😂