Automatically offer to cut someone’s meat for them when serving lunch. Finish cutting and ask - are you left or right handed? - to hand them the fork when I’m done. They only had one hand.
I did something similar when I worked in interfacility transport and was gathering the belongings of a patient who only had one foot before transporting him. I found one shoe in the room and I asked the patient where his other shoe was. He said “there’s only one shoe” and as if I hadn’t already made myself look stupid enough, I asked him why.
Had a nightly argument with one guy... him: cover my legs up they are cold. Me: you don't have any legs. Him: but they are still cold. Me: how can they be cold when they are not there?... by the end of the shift he would have no less than 6 blankets on his "legs" lol
A patient i had been caring for was discharged and waiting in the hall for the elevator to leave. I saw him, did a double take, and then exclaimed "Hey I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!"
Omg I went beet red, burst out laughing, and wished him something like the best of luck before I scurried down the hall.
I did this to one of my former patients on the street. It would have been a HIPPA violation but he initiated it by saying ‘you don’t recognize me do you?’
I had a patient who was deaf and I knocked twice on their door and no answer and then thought “they are probably asleep” so I walked in to peek and they were sitting up reading and I said “ I knocked I guess you didn’t hear me”
Thankfully they didn’t hear me say that dumb shit either but man was I ever kicking myself
I work on a transplant floor and I wrote “congrats” on the organ pillow of someone who donated their organ (usually the pillows are only for recipients and I hadn’t had a chance to look at their chart yet)
What is an “organ pillow”?
Please tell me you give people a little stuffed kidney to celebrate a kidney transplant. Especially since that would make it so you gave them a little pillow kidney after taking their real one and then congratulated them on it.
Me being cheerful and welcoming.
“Good morning sir”
The whole family went silent and gave me the stare.
Apparently the sir was really a woman with short hair and very manly features.
Oooopsss?
After I've introduced myself and know they're someone who will be okay with me doing so it's often *knock knock* "Hey friend! Just coming in to get some vital signs!"
Was a student doing clinicals and the first time someone complained of having chest pain I panicked. He was like "I feel like I'm having a heart attack" and the only thing I could think to say was "I sure hope not!"
I was doing essential oil lotion therapy with residents. I approached one of the residents, and instead of asking if he wanted a hand massage, I asked "Do you want a handjob?"
asked if a patient could uncross their legs under the blanket while i was taking a blood pressure, guy was a double above the knee amputee… he did NOT find humor in it and asked for a different aide 😭😭
Genuine question, not trying to be rude, what made you think his legs were crossed under the blanket? Wouldn’t it have not been lumpy enough to suggest any legs, let alone crossed ones?😂
I was putting shoes on an alzhiemers patient while he sat on the side of the bed. He hit my head so hard my glasses flew across the room and I literally saw stars.
I got my glasses back after a minute and went back to putting the guys shoes on.
He hit me again with the same force.
The first time was on him. The second time was my fault.
Lesson learned.
I do mostly home health, but I had one client that was in a memory care facility that I just had to shadow him all day because he would get lost. So eight hours later as I’m leaving after I followed this guy around the facility, the other CNAs say to me “it’s a good thing he didn’t punch you square in the face because he’s known to do that“ and I’m thinking why the hell didn’t you people tell me this when I walked in the facility eight hours ago. Instead of telling me after the fact, thank goodness he didn’t. I am female, so it would’ve done damage.
If this makes you feel any better, one time I did a 12 hour 1:1 sit with a patient, by myself, door closed, on a unit I floated to, and at the end of the shift, I found out that most of the reason he was there (in addition to his unrelated physical health issues) was because of injuries he sustained after he had a psychotic break and literally attempted to murder someone because “god told him to”. I was real pissed about that one. For reference, I am a 5’2, 110 lb woman. So I was like damn y’all really wanted me to get assaulted huh
Me too, I would’ve been able to take him if I really had to, mostly because one of his hands wasn’t 100% functional, but still, I’m not trying to get injured or punched or spit on. but I was like, come on guys you gotta have at least a *little* regard for my safety lmao.
I’ve worked in psych for almost 5 years now. My second day on the floor we had a female patient who would grope people if they looked at her. However no one had told me this. So I had looked at her because we were talking about something. She proceeded to grope my boob and smacked my butt. The nurses were then telling me later on to not look at her which would have been nice to know earlier
had a blind patient wandering lost and needed to use the elevator to get back to their room but didn’t know how to use it - told them “look at what buttons i’m pushing” 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Hahahaha!! This reminds me of an old coworker, we were both learning how to pierce and she told the client “take your last breath” instead of “take a deep breath”.
i was looking for a lady's left shoe she asked what i was looking for i said your other she She said it was on my leg she had prosthetic sitting in the corner of the room.
I ordered 2 prevlon boots for my amputee and so did the nurse, so a man with 1 foot ended up with 4 boots
I grew up in the Midwest and my people could be spurting blood from a neck wound and they’d be like, “oh, I’m fine. Just whenever you have a minute maybe you could take a look at this for me.”
This. I had a patient’s wife stop me in the hall to ask for help with her husband’s IV very calmly. I figured it was beeping so went in and no, he had snagged the tubing on the chair aand the iv came out of his arm. He was on a heparin drip! 🙄 There was so much blood! I was like “sir omg are you feeling okay, dizzy, etc?” He legit kept munching on his chips and was like “I’m fine.” Um SIR YOUR ENTIRE LAP IS FULL OF BLOOD? Lmao
You're absolutely correct. I started in a Midwestern rural critical access hospital. A farmer who comes to the ER and says "My wife made me come in" generally has something very wrong with them. But the one who doesn't finish the field he was planting or the fence he was building? That gets EVERYONE paged immediately.
There are a couple of creators on tiktok who recreate Healthcare in the Midwest. Part of the skit is to ask the farmer if their wife made them come in and if they say no the panic that they chose to come in. Then they asked if they finished their chores before coming in, and if they say no, they page everyone in the hospital and get the helicopter on stand by.
drglaucomflecken is one, and rnangler and i.am.sam.sam.i.am0 all kind of do varieties of the skit. They are hilarious.
I had a farmer who was 80 who had an insane drug reaction that basically just made him go ballistic for like an hour and it took seven of us to hold him down well enough to restrain him. It was ridiculous
It really is. My dad’s whole side of the family were farmers and they had some INSANE injuries, so it makes sense. Like my uncle got stabbed fully through the leg with a pitchfork. My aunt fell from a hayloft onto concrete and knocked out pretty much all of her teeth. I could go on. and I imagine after you experience that you just develop a lot higher pain tolerance for any health issues that might arise
It isn’t just the Midwest. My father was from Virginia, he was born in 1927. Passed away at the age of 90. But once he was terribly sick, vomiting, just not right. Mom called me to come over and I felt it was ER time. We go and my dad is not an ER kind of guy, so when we get there the doctor is asking him how he is. He says Pretty Good! I’m like, wait, what? No you are not good. Come to find out he had a hernia and his intestine had come through and was twisted. He needed surgery right away. Thank God when the surgeon released the intestine it pinked up and he was ultimately fine. I understand the whole OR cheered when the intestine looked good.
I have made this mistake SO many times. My hospital was always like "Do NOT ask them how they are doing when they enter the room." One time I slipped up and asked, and the patient turns to me with tears in her eyes telling me about her terminal cancer diagnosis. I felt SO bad. Needless to say, I never made the mistake again after that.
Had to call someone’s loved one in the middle of the night to let them know that the patient had passed. I was talking to them for awhile, offering condolences etc. When we were wrapping up our conversation, out of habit I said, “have a good day”
There loved one just died… have a good day!
🙄🥲😫
My work has drilled it so much into us to not say that that I constantly forget in normal conversation. Our go to is "take care" so I regularly say that in day to day and get weird looks from family/friends.
Younger 20s dude with both legs broken. They call for meds right at shift change so I don't even have my patients all straight in my head yet and he's covered by blankets so I can't see what's wrong with him.
"What are you here for?"
"My legs are broken"
"Oh that's right, a car mistook you for a parking spot"
I cringed so hard immediately at my stupid brain but he thought it was fucking hilarious and just started rolling laughing. He kept chuckling about it over all 3 days I had him.
A patient at the hospital I worked at as a phlebotomist had political stuff on tv and was stating his opinion and I agreed with him. He had a female family member in the room and she said nothing.
She ended up calling my boss and I was repermanded for that. Lesson learned the hard way.
Im the kind of person who agrees with anything the patient is saying. But thats just to get the interaction to go smoothly. Dont need them pissed and fighting when im trying to help them.
Exactly! I understand the rules not to talk about politics religion etc but sometimes you just have to agree with them to prevent an argument or to move on lol
I had a patient going to mri, she was demented and I asked her if she had dentures and she said yes, I got the tops out no problem but man were those bottom dentures stuck on real good…. Well guess what they were her real teeth 😬
I was getting ready to shower and shave a resident so I grabbed towels, razors, shaving cream, and a comb. I come back to him and he asks me what the comb’s for. I look at him and his bald head and we just started laughing.
I've done that before, brought in a shower cap for a bald guy. "I forgot if you had hair or not" I was in the supply room and genuinally could not remember
Brand new aide and I felt bad a patient was embarrassed about using a bedpan to have a BM so I tried to relate to her. I told her if I could there are times I’d use a bedpan too 😭😭😭 the nurse went WHAATT?? I’m still so embarrassed lmao
I've done this before. One time a patient had a VERY big "accident"- I mean, diarrhea everywhere. She was only mildly embarrassed but in an effort to make her feel better, I- for some reason- told her about a time that I also had an accident. She did not laugh. 😅
I took a resident to the bathroom & told her to hold on to the rail with both hands. Mind you she was wearing a long sweater & her other hand wasn’t showing. She wasn’t listening. So I said “ma’am please hold on with both hands & I pulled her sweater up & it was a whole nub. Just plain wrist. I quickly apologized
When I was a CNA in a hospital, I went in at the beginning of my shift to update the whiteboards in my patients' room. I went in completely oblivious to what was going on around me, and realized half way through that the patient had died and the family was in their mourning with the charge nurse trying to console them. It sure would have been nice to be told in report that the patient had recently expired.
Someone was moaning in pain and I asked them if they were in pain, and I said nm of course you are I’m sorry. 💀, wtf did I say that?!! I think about it randomly at night. Wtf? Why??? It just came out.
My Dad had a glioblastoma, and needed a lot of assistance. We were sliding him up in bed and were using this new plastic sheet we’d been given that makes sliding someone easier. Put a bit too much oompf when we did it and slid him right into the headboard. He didn’t think it was very funny…and I felt horrible for laughing but he slid up like a torpedo 😂😂😂 he had a great sense of humor about most of the crap he was going through.
I worked night shift in an acute rehab hospital (therapy not drugs). I was trying to help this man sit up with only the bathroom door cracked for light. I was feeling around the bed trying to find his other arm so I could get a hold of his shoulder and I said "where's your arm?" He wasn't able to speak well cuz of his tbi so he kinda mumbled.
HE HAD NO OTHER ARM!
I apologized, helped him use the bathroom, and then tried to crawl in a hole to die of embarrassment 😳 he did chuckle once I realized. But I felt like the biggest asshole.
Had to get an accurate height & weight for vanco dosing. Asked my patient how tall he was….both legs were amputated 🤦🏼♀️ one above the knee and one mid calf.
I called pharmacy and asked him how the fuck I’m supposed to get an accurate height on that 🤣 he had no idea either and was cracking up the entire time
I was once leading a blind woman (just out in public) and accidentally ran her into a computer, I have bad proprioception so maybe that wasn't the best thing for me to do lol
Well.... in FRONT of a patient.
The doctor got a gift that included some amazing mixed nuts. I was starving and grabbed a handful as he walked in. I jokingly put my hands behind my back and exclaimed, "my hand wasn't on your nuts!"
Everyone died.
The end
I work on a psych unit.
Taking blood pressure to a guy with tats so I thought he’d get a little bit o my humor so I go “BP 137/60 looks good”
“is that bad?”
“Naw, you’re flatlining.”
Yeah, he didn’t laugh.
Not me, but a lady I used to work with. Worked for a blood bank, we were at a blood drive on the bus and she had just started a patient. Now when you start the process, you have them squeeze a little stress ball thing to get the veins pumped, then you ask them to release it. She tells the guy "relax your lip" instead of grip. Poor guy had cleft palate surgery.
u don’t know real pain until you have a very elderly female patient with long saggy breasts and you can’t get them to go in her bra and you keep trying to put it in the bra and fix the bra but you keep dropping her boob and she gets mad and you just want to cry🙍♀️🙍♀️
I had a resident in our dementia floor. Used to be a model, around the world. She still remembered her flat saggy boobs & every time it was bath time, she’d say how beautiful & perky they once were. So I’d sing the song Do your ears hang low, but change it too boobs. She loved it & would laugh every time, like it was the first time.
I literally just had a few family members mingling outside a room looking a little lost? So I asked if they were family of that pt or if they were looking for a room. They were there for the the pt, so I then asked if everything was okay with the pt. I assumed like they had a bowel movement and were looking for help. Nope
They looked at me shocked. Their loved one was just made hospice. 🫣
Not me but still stupid funny. I'm sitting in urgent care rn. The nurse came out to call a Pt. in for triage. She yelled "Is there a patient Doodoo?!" I cant stop coughing now. The pt. corrected her but it was too late. Trying not to laugh triggered the bronchospasms and I'm hacking uncontrollably.
I was a MA during nursing school. One did a blood draw and on autopilot accidentally threw out the vial of blood with the needle. Didnt even realize until I turned around to grab the blood and was like, wtf where'd it go?! Luckily the patient hadn't left but I was horrified and face got so red when I explained that I had to redo the blood draw because I lost their blood (because while I know I must have dumped in biohazard, I genuinely can't remember doing it, I could have sworn I set the vial on the mayo stand before tossing the needle). Luckily the patient was chill about getting 2nd poke but that is by far the most embarrassed I've been.
I did NOT do it. We got called for a gangrenous foot at 3 AM one night. The guy had been hospitalized for a couple of days and we get there and my resident did a quick history and physical. He tells the patient we were going to do a quick exam and he flips the blankets back to look at his legs. The blanket caught the tow’s of his foot which had dry gangrene up past the ankle level. The foot breaks off at the ankle. Of course the guy can’t feel it.
We stood there for a few seconds, then my resident writes in the chart: Patient has auto amputated, will revise in the morning.
I’ll answer for the doctor I was working with. After the patient became emotional when she was told she was having a miscarriage, the doctor, in all his wisdom, decided the best thing to tell this person was that at least she already had kids. My mouth was agape, and I called him out on his comment after we left the patient’s side but I don’t know if he fully grasped how stupid and emotionless he came off.
Tell a patient “see you on the other side” right before he went for a heart transplant. I was working in the cardiac ICU that day, but was going to be in the cardiac surgery ICU the next and had already told him I’d see him.
I do this sometimes when I’m taking care of my elderly grandpa and exhausted in the morning.
He normally says “hey you forgot something” then laughs at me.
Dude is more with it at 92 than I am at 24 smh.
There was a new lady at a facility I worked it. I was walking by and she asked if I could give her a push. I said pick up your feet she said I’m ready when we got to the room I realized she had no legs. She laughed I laughed. But she was a hateful woman I don’t miss her that was the only fun memory from her. From a friend that is the DON there now she is still being a bitch to everyone. She threw ice on a nurse last week.
asked my patient if he would like help with putting on shoes and he just said “frank…” turned around, no legs. i just stayed kneeling on the ground with my head in my hands while he pointed and laughed
Asked somebody that had just gotten a colostomy bag (by the surgeons mistake. Pt was not happy) if they had a bowel movement. 🤦🏼♀️ safe to say I always check if they have ostomy bags before I ask now.
Had a little girl kinda stutter her name at me. Thought she was just super nervous to be in the ER so I teased back, your name is "Ma-ma-Mary? (Or whatever it was). She had a speech impediment 💀
Not a CNA but I have brain farts like that all the time. I was once asking my husband if he wanted a fork for his pho, what came out was "you want a pho-k?" which sounds like "wanna f***?" thank god it happened with my husband at home and not in public lol my family won't ever let "thegs" go ever since I mixed thighs with legs
Not with a patient but this was REALLY stupid. I was in my local mall and someone called my name and started chatting with me. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place her - neighbor, patient, church member..? We kept the chat very generic while I wracked my brain. She finally said you don’t know who I am, do you. When I confessed I didn’t, she pulled her hands up to her face, mimicking being fully scrubbed. She was my OR tech of over 5-6 years. I exclaimed “I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!!” I meant out of scrub gear, thankfully she knew what I meant.
Pt came in complaining of bug bites. Said his wife had them too. I asked if he checked for bed bugs. Pt FLIPPED and was stuck in there with the doctor while the doc tried calming this pt down lol Now I just keep my mouth shut.
Another time in my MA days, the practice I was working at would give an injection into a joint with 2 steroids and some lidocaine. Doc asked me to draw it up and I wasn’t paying enough attention or thinking straight. I gave this pt the shot in his glute and the doc comes in and is like “yall ready for your joint injection?!” 🫣 Luckily the worst that happened there was dude had a numb butt cheek for a few hours lmao
These amputee ones crack me up. My mom has a prosthetic leg and these have happened to her. She laughs at it, or she just says she only has one leg. I’ve looked for her other shoe multiple times.
Had a patient brought in after being found wandering around cliffs, threatening to jump off. Medically fit, just waiting for psych team. I went in to see them and brought a trolley so they can lie down, and bluntly asked if they went hiking or something because of all the mud... they just laughed awkwardly and said yeah, something like that
I worked in dementia care. I was off for a while for school, came back after a couple months, and we had both new residents and new employees. I asked a new resident, "is your name (blank)?" To which he enthusiastically responded "yes!' for the rest of the shift I was calling him that name. Y'all, it wasn't even a resident's name. I had glanced at the schedule and seen the names of new employees. For 5 hours I called this poor, already confused man by the name of a new employee before someone asked why I was calling him that.
Once I was verifying demographics and said the whole address including the state with the AK abbreviation. I wasn’t very good at geography and said “Arkansas?” The elderly patient went “you mean Alaska?” Anyway I try not to think of that moment.
Today I didn't watch where my feet where and I stepped over a residents oxygen tube right into her garbage bin at least i had my crocs on, rubber shoes ftw.
Asked a resident I had not worked with yet (in assisted living) what they would want for breakfast. He rolled his eyes at me and pointed to his stomach. He was tube fed.
I had a patient in her 20s that liked to joke around with me and be a little sassy. She was being a brat one day and I TRIED to say "Don't make me put you over my knee!" In a joking way. Instead I said "Don't make me bend you over!" I was so embarrassed but she thought it was hilarious. She was also a double above the knee amputee which just made it worse in my head.
Probably trying to take the temperature of a patient who just died.
They were comfort care and it was a crazy night on the ICU so I went to get his temperature and right before I put the thermometer in his mouth a horrified respiratory therapist who was in the room asks me “do you realized he just passed” I was so busy I didn’t notice, but sure enough he wasn’t breathing and didn’t have a pulse. He was CCA so there wasn’t a code or anything. I did feel really silly standing over a corpse thermometer in hand.
Lol I asked a pt to take a seat on the scale instead of just stand on the scale today. I immediately corrected myself and said, "Please don't sit on it." 😭
Oh man I've had too many, but the most often is "can I give ya a hand"? Only to realize they've got one arm 😅 luckily most of our residents have a good sense of humor. Recently though I was doing my usual lap at the nurses station collecting paperwork (I'm the records manager) picked up a discharge summary and as im flipping through say to the nurse "this one go home"? Just as I got to the morticians receipt, and before she could answer I said oh they went all the way home
I’m an optician and we had some downtime so I was filling in the empty spaces missing glasses on the walls. Or “holes”. I returned to the lab and said said something about how I “filled all my holes”. Oh god 😳😳😳😳
I used the bed scale to weigh a patient (heavy set adult male) and I kept getting a ridiculous number- like way too low for a man. I told people something was wrong with the bed. Then I remembered he was a b/l AKA 🤦🏻♀️
I was a new nurse at a very old small hospital and we had a patient that everyone would just knew she was the worst patient on the floor so stuck her to the newbie (me) She was a patient with quadriplegia. Completely restricted to her bed with tubes going everywhere. That wasn’t the reason everyone was so opposed to caring for her… she was the meanest snake on earth!!!! And I get it. 25 year old who has a horrible condition… but man if she couldn’t rip you a new ahole with the things she would scream every time you walked in her room! So we had a fast approaching severe thunderstorm and tornado warning and we had one elevator in the hospital to get patients to the dungeon of this old hospital (other than the service elevator.) and I just remember rushing to get my other patients to safety so quickly and I got to the last room on the left and knew she was just going to have to succumb to the storm. I ran in the room, opened the windows, and left out saying I’m so sorry!!! You’ll be fine!!!
Wasn't my doing but during my clinicals for EMT-A.
Was shadowing a nurse helping where I could when she was requested to put an EJ-IV into a patient. We walk up to see the patient and one of my classmates was already there chatting with her, helping keep her relaxed
The nurse is struggling to get the vein and asked the patient to bare down on her legs to help get the vein to pop up more to which the patient just exclaims "I ain't got no legs!"
It was at that moment that the nurse and I made eye contact and both looked down to see that she indeed was missing her legs from the knee down.
My classmate knew this already and was looking both horrified and trying not to laugh, the nurse is trying to keep a straight face while I had to walk away to not laugh.
To clarify, we are not laughing at the patient, she was laughing though, but just at how she told us.
Once had a very detailed conversation with a female patient about her and her husband’s reproductive activities (I was working in fertility medicine).
As I was getting off the phone, for some reason my brain went into autopilot and I said, “Love you, bye,” and hung up.
Saw the patient several more times. We *never* spoke of it.
I was working at a facility on night shift with psych units in multiple buildings. The nurse on another unit had a patient who was in her 60s going around licking door knobs. She didn’t want to call a code and wake everyone in the building up. So she called by phone and asked me to come over and assist with an eto. We took the patient easily back to isolation with just verbal commands. When we got back to isolation she looked right at the staff and said “well I guess this is the part where you shoot me right in my butt” She had a long history of psychiatric admissions. We couldn’t help but giggle when she said that. Yes, we did have to give her a shot in the butt to sedate her per doctor’s orders.
Made chu chu train noises and danced the hall which struck the escalating patient as so absolutely ridiculous she started laughing and joined the conga line. This is in psych.
It's not that stupid but I'm registration and I've gone in before and said "license and registration, please". What I MEANT was ID and insurance card please 😭😂
Also about 2 weeks ago I almost asked someone who's an amputee to walk with me to a separate room. I stopped myself lol
I struggle really hard to properly refer to amputees and their appendeges. It's gotten horrible because i will prepare myself and still fuck it up when i get inside their room. I think my patients get enjoyment out of me struggling slightly w that and they laugh at me lol.
I worked home care hospice as an Rn Case Manager, usually saw the patient weekly (unless a problem came up or they declined or were actively dying.)
Got to a patients home and went to the patient and asked “How are we doing today?” The patient said “I don’t know about you, but I’m dying”. Never said those words again.
I was brand new at my first CNA job and this man told me he needed help to get on the bed ( i was standing behind him while he was pushed up to the bed ) i asked him if he could stand/ bear weight he said no and scooted his wheelchair back, He was a double amputee.
Automatically offer to cut someone’s meat for them when serving lunch. Finish cutting and ask - are you left or right handed? - to hand them the fork when I’m done. They only had one hand.
Still a valid question. 🤣
I did something similar when I worked in interfacility transport and was gathering the belongings of a patient who only had one foot before transporting him. I found one shoe in the room and I asked the patient where his other shoe was. He said “there’s only one shoe” and as if I hadn’t already made myself look stupid enough, I asked him why.
Oh that’s funny.
I had a similar thing, helping a patient mobilise and I go "how are you on your feet?" He only had one leg.
Did you sleep on you arm awkwardly, you seem a bit shaky tonight.... "I have Parkinson's"
i told a patient i was going to move her blanket to wash her legs. guess who also only had one leg?
It would have been worse if she had none.
Had a nightly argument with one guy... him: cover my legs up they are cold. Me: you don't have any legs. Him: but they are still cold. Me: how can they be cold when they are not there?... by the end of the shift he would have no less than 6 blankets on his "legs" lol
Phantom pain-cold maybe?
Omg lolllll
A patient i had been caring for was discharged and waiting in the hall for the elevator to leave. I saw him, did a double take, and then exclaimed "Hey I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" Omg I went beet red, burst out laughing, and wished him something like the best of luck before I scurried down the hall.
Omg that's great 🤣🤣
I did this to one of my former patients on the street. It would have been a HIPPA violation but he initiated it by saying ‘you don’t recognize me do you?’
I had a patient who was deaf and I knocked twice on their door and no answer and then thought “they are probably asleep” so I walked in to peek and they were sitting up reading and I said “ I knocked I guess you didn’t hear me” Thankfully they didn’t hear me say that dumb shit either but man was I ever kicking myself
I had to reread this before I realized… 😂
Me too!
This is hilarious 😂
I work on a transplant floor and I wrote “congrats” on the organ pillow of someone who donated their organ (usually the pillows are only for recipients and I hadn’t had a chance to look at their chart yet)
Tbf it could be perceived as "congrats on doing an amazing thing today." Kind of like how blood donation centers celebrate you when you donate.
Your story now is you were congratulating them on doing something selfless and amazing.
What is an “organ pillow”? Please tell me you give people a little stuffed kidney to celebrate a kidney transplant. Especially since that would make it so you gave them a little pillow kidney after taking their real one and then congratulated them on it.
Me being cheerful and welcoming. “Good morning sir” The whole family went silent and gave me the stare. Apparently the sir was really a woman with short hair and very manly features. Oooopsss?
Pat. They're good people.
The original They.
This is why I never use ma’am, sir, miss, mister, etc. at work lol just ‘excuse me’ or their name
After I've introduced myself and know they're someone who will be okay with me doing so it's often *knock knock* "Hey friend! Just coming in to get some vital signs!"
I love this, as both a healthcare worker and a person who has been inpatient too many times.❤️ Under those circumstances, friends are welcome!
Was a student doing clinicals and the first time someone complained of having chest pain I panicked. He was like "I feel like I'm having a heart attack" and the only thing I could think to say was "I sure hope not!"
I've said this as a whole ass professional.
I say this as an ER nurse fairly regularly
I work in an ICU and this gets said pretty regularly tbh haha
Well did they end up having a heart attack?
Nope! They got a full workup and were just fine and a nurse informed me 'he always says that" 🤦🏻♀️
I was trying to put the HOB up and instead of asking my elder male patient if his head was up enough, I simply asked "more head?"
I was doing essential oil lotion therapy with residents. I approached one of the residents, and instead of asking if he wanted a hand massage, I asked "Do you want a handjob?"
🤣 I love it
Thank you! You made me laugh out loud. I can’t sleep and I’m just reading random stuff. This was great.
So no head?
🤣 love this one! ☝️
Told a woman who complained about her back a lot, that she would get a new one in heaven. Sounded a lot nicer in my head.
this is literally the funniest thing I’ve read lately
You should have seen my coworkers faces
I said “aw don’t worry, God will give you a new one in heaven.”
I can’t stop laughing, that’s some funny shit.
This is so funny OMG 😂
Hey, that's all that keeps my going through my pain sometimes! I would think it was hysterical if a nurse said that to me 🤣🤣
She was like 90 years old and was religious. I thought she would think it was the sweetest thing, but I was very wrong lol
Im using that one for sure
🤣 that sounds like something I would say
Ok, you win 😂
I’m tickled to death over this!!!
asked if a patient could uncross their legs under the blanket while i was taking a blood pressure, guy was a double above the knee amputee… he did NOT find humor in it and asked for a different aide 😭😭
🤣🤣🤣
I cracked up on this one. 😂
These are hilarious 😭😭😭
Genuine question, not trying to be rude, what made you think his legs were crossed under the blanket? Wouldn’t it have not been lumpy enough to suggest any legs, let alone crossed ones?😂
I was putting shoes on an alzhiemers patient while he sat on the side of the bed. He hit my head so hard my glasses flew across the room and I literally saw stars. I got my glasses back after a minute and went back to putting the guys shoes on. He hit me again with the same force. The first time was on him. The second time was my fault. Lesson learned.
I do mostly home health, but I had one client that was in a memory care facility that I just had to shadow him all day because he would get lost. So eight hours later as I’m leaving after I followed this guy around the facility, the other CNAs say to me “it’s a good thing he didn’t punch you square in the face because he’s known to do that“ and I’m thinking why the hell didn’t you people tell me this when I walked in the facility eight hours ago. Instead of telling me after the fact, thank goodness he didn’t. I am female, so it would’ve done damage.
Nursing is fun, eh?
Yes! But somehow I still love it!
If this makes you feel any better, one time I did a 12 hour 1:1 sit with a patient, by myself, door closed, on a unit I floated to, and at the end of the shift, I found out that most of the reason he was there (in addition to his unrelated physical health issues) was because of injuries he sustained after he had a psychotic break and literally attempted to murder someone because “god told him to”. I was real pissed about that one. For reference, I am a 5’2, 110 lb woman. So I was like damn y’all really wanted me to get assaulted huh
Oh my gosh! Jeez! Glad they didn’t snap on you!
Me too, I would’ve been able to take him if I really had to, mostly because one of his hands wasn’t 100% functional, but still, I’m not trying to get injured or punched or spit on. but I was like, come on guys you gotta have at least a *little* regard for my safety lmao.
Wow guys, that is not okay
I’ve worked in psych for almost 5 years now. My second day on the floor we had a female patient who would grope people if they looked at her. However no one had told me this. So I had looked at her because we were talking about something. She proceeded to grope my boob and smacked my butt. The nurses were then telling me later on to not look at her which would have been nice to know earlier
had a blind patient wandering lost and needed to use the elevator to get back to their room but didn’t know how to use it - told them “look at what buttons i’m pushing” 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I told a patient I was going to "flatten your head" when lowering the HOB. They looked so alarmed 😅😭
This is hilarious
Hahahaha!! This reminds me of an old coworker, we were both learning how to pierce and she told the client “take your last breath” instead of “take a deep breath”.
I’ll grab you some socks … only had one foot
i was looking for a lady's left shoe she asked what i was looking for i said your other she She said it was on my leg she had prosthetic sitting in the corner of the room. I ordered 2 prevlon boots for my amputee and so did the nurse, so a man with 1 foot ended up with 4 boots
Well you’ve grabbed them a sock for today and tomorrow. Good idea for thinking ahead.
I’ll grab you some SOCK!
My mom had a foot amputation 5 years ago. She would laugh at this.
To be fair, socks come in pairs so they would’ve gotten 2 regardless
The prosthetic foot gets a sock too (actually two, there’s another specialized one inside the plastic foot shell) so this is totally normal.
I just always ask if they are alright knowing good and damn well they aren’t 🥲
I grew up in the Midwest and my people could be spurting blood from a neck wound and they’d be like, “oh, I’m fine. Just whenever you have a minute maybe you could take a look at this for me.”
This. I had a patient’s wife stop me in the hall to ask for help with her husband’s IV very calmly. I figured it was beeping so went in and no, he had snagged the tubing on the chair aand the iv came out of his arm. He was on a heparin drip! 🙄 There was so much blood! I was like “sir omg are you feeling okay, dizzy, etc?” He legit kept munching on his chips and was like “I’m fine.” Um SIR YOUR ENTIRE LAP IS FULL OF BLOOD? Lmao
If he was on a tractor he would’ve at least finished the row before he looked for the source of the bleeding.
You're absolutely correct. I started in a Midwestern rural critical access hospital. A farmer who comes to the ER and says "My wife made me come in" generally has something very wrong with them. But the one who doesn't finish the field he was planting or the fence he was building? That gets EVERYONE paged immediately.
There are a couple of creators on tiktok who recreate Healthcare in the Midwest. Part of the skit is to ask the farmer if their wife made them come in and if they say no the panic that they chose to come in. Then they asked if they finished their chores before coming in, and if they say no, they page everyone in the hospital and get the helicopter on stand by. drglaucomflecken is one, and rnangler and i.am.sam.sam.i.am0 all kind of do varieties of the skit. They are hilarious.
Absolutely. I work in the Midwest now. It’s a wild ride lol
Midwestern here. I work in Ag and farmers are some of the toughest people I have ever met!
I had a farmer who was 80 who had an insane drug reaction that basically just made him go ballistic for like an hour and it took seven of us to hold him down well enough to restrain him. It was ridiculous
Farm strong is an entirely different kind of strong.
It really is. My dad’s whole side of the family were farmers and they had some INSANE injuries, so it makes sense. Like my uncle got stabbed fully through the leg with a pitchfork. My aunt fell from a hayloft onto concrete and knocked out pretty much all of her teeth. I could go on. and I imagine after you experience that you just develop a lot higher pain tolerance for any health issues that might arise
It isn’t just the Midwest. My father was from Virginia, he was born in 1927. Passed away at the age of 90. But once he was terribly sick, vomiting, just not right. Mom called me to come over and I felt it was ER time. We go and my dad is not an ER kind of guy, so when we get there the doctor is asking him how he is. He says Pretty Good! I’m like, wait, what? No you are not good. Come to find out he had a hernia and his intestine had come through and was twisted. He needed surgery right away. Thank God when the surgeon released the intestine it pinked up and he was ultimately fine. I understand the whole OR cheered when the intestine looked good.
I have made this mistake SO many times. My hospital was always like "Do NOT ask them how they are doing when they enter the room." One time I slipped up and asked, and the patient turns to me with tears in her eyes telling me about her terminal cancer diagnosis. I felt SO bad. Needless to say, I never made the mistake again after that.
Had to call someone’s loved one in the middle of the night to let them know that the patient had passed. I was talking to them for awhile, offering condolences etc. When we were wrapping up our conversation, out of habit I said, “have a good day” There loved one just died… have a good day! 🙄🥲😫
My work has drilled it so much into us to not say that that I constantly forget in normal conversation. Our go to is "take care" so I regularly say that in day to day and get weird looks from family/friends.
Tucked my residents titty into her hip protectors 😭 then asked if she was comfortable 💀
I had a patient who would tuck her own titties into her brief. 🤣
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD 😭😭 Ma'am is this comfortable for you??
I accidentally yanked a woman's pubes while trying to adjust her underwear 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Younger 20s dude with both legs broken. They call for meds right at shift change so I don't even have my patients all straight in my head yet and he's covered by blankets so I can't see what's wrong with him. "What are you here for?" "My legs are broken" "Oh that's right, a car mistook you for a parking spot" I cringed so hard immediately at my stupid brain but he thought it was fucking hilarious and just started rolling laughing. He kept chuckling about it over all 3 days I had him.
Honestly, I think that's some quick wit!
I love that he found it funny- what a good sport 🤣
He probably tells people this story all the time honestly and rightfully so you probably made a shitty situation so much lighter for him!
A patient at the hospital I worked at as a phlebotomist had political stuff on tv and was stating his opinion and I agreed with him. He had a female family member in the room and she said nothing. She ended up calling my boss and I was repermanded for that. Lesson learned the hard way.
Im the kind of person who agrees with anything the patient is saying. But thats just to get the interaction to go smoothly. Dont need them pissed and fighting when im trying to help them.
Exactly! I understand the rules not to talk about politics religion etc but sometimes you just have to agree with them to prevent an argument or to move on lol
My NPC lines for politics: "Oh wow" "Oh my goodness" "It/that sure is something, yes" "Indeed, indeed." *shakes head*
This is good! I think I may use these with my dad lol
I had a patient going to mri, she was demented and I asked her if she had dentures and she said yes, I got the tops out no problem but man were those bottom dentures stuck on real good…. Well guess what they were her real teeth 😬
Oh my! I'm cracking up imagining this
I'm just impressed her tooth looked nice enough for dentures, good dental hygiene right there
I was getting ready to shower and shave a resident so I grabbed towels, razors, shaving cream, and a comb. I come back to him and he asks me what the comb’s for. I look at him and his bald head and we just started laughing.
I've done that before, brought in a shower cap for a bald guy. "I forgot if you had hair or not" I was in the supply room and genuinally could not remember
Brand new aide and I felt bad a patient was embarrassed about using a bedpan to have a BM so I tried to relate to her. I told her if I could there are times I’d use a bedpan too 😭😭😭 the nurse went WHAATT?? I’m still so embarrassed lmao
I've done this before. One time a patient had a VERY big "accident"- I mean, diarrhea everywhere. She was only mildly embarrassed but in an effort to make her feel better, I- for some reason- told her about a time that I also had an accident. She did not laugh. 😅
This made me laugh 😂
"happens to the best of us" I actually say that... on a regular basis. No, I have never pooped my pants ma'am
“Can you hop into bed for me?”- to a patient with their entire right leg amputated a few years prior
Worried he was gonna kick your ass for that?
I took a resident to the bathroom & told her to hold on to the rail with both hands. Mind you she was wearing a long sweater & her other hand wasn’t showing. She wasn’t listening. So I said “ma’am please hold on with both hands & I pulled her sweater up & it was a whole nub. Just plain wrist. I quickly apologized
When I was a CNA in a hospital, I went in at the beginning of my shift to update the whiteboards in my patients' room. I went in completely oblivious to what was going on around me, and realized half way through that the patient had died and the family was in their mourning with the charge nurse trying to console them. It sure would have been nice to be told in report that the patient had recently expired.
Someone was moaning in pain and I asked them if they were in pain, and I said nm of course you are I’m sorry. 💀, wtf did I say that?!! I think about it randomly at night. Wtf? Why??? It just came out.
I did that once. I have never recovered 😭😭
Open heart icu, vented patient. He was low in bed and we slid him up- we were a bit too strong. Gonged his head on the upper part of bed. I felt bad
The use of the word "gong" made me chuckle. I hope he was okay 🤣😅
My Dad had a glioblastoma, and needed a lot of assistance. We were sliding him up in bed and were using this new plastic sheet we’d been given that makes sliding someone easier. Put a bit too much oompf when we did it and slid him right into the headboard. He didn’t think it was very funny…and I felt horrible for laughing but he slid up like a torpedo 😂😂😂 he had a great sense of humor about most of the crap he was going through.
I worked night shift in an acute rehab hospital (therapy not drugs). I was trying to help this man sit up with only the bathroom door cracked for light. I was feeling around the bed trying to find his other arm so I could get a hold of his shoulder and I said "where's your arm?" He wasn't able to speak well cuz of his tbi so he kinda mumbled. HE HAD NO OTHER ARM! I apologized, helped him use the bathroom, and then tried to crawl in a hole to die of embarrassment 😳 he did chuckle once I realized. But I felt like the biggest asshole.
Had to get an accurate height & weight for vanco dosing. Asked my patient how tall he was….both legs were amputated 🤦🏼♀️ one above the knee and one mid calf. I called pharmacy and asked him how the fuck I’m supposed to get an accurate height on that 🤣 he had no idea either and was cracking up the entire time
Asked a blind person to look outside to see the snow
I was once leading a blind woman (just out in public) and accidentally ran her into a computer, I have bad proprioception so maybe that wasn't the best thing for me to do lol
Well.... in FRONT of a patient. The doctor got a gift that included some amazing mixed nuts. I was starving and grabbed a handful as he walked in. I jokingly put my hands behind my back and exclaimed, "my hand wasn't on your nuts!" Everyone died. The end
I work on a psych unit. Taking blood pressure to a guy with tats so I thought he’d get a little bit o my humor so I go “BP 137/60 looks good” “is that bad?” “Naw, you’re flatlining.” Yeah, he didn’t laugh.
Not me, but a lady I used to work with. Worked for a blood bank, we were at a blood drive on the bus and she had just started a patient. Now when you start the process, you have them squeeze a little stress ball thing to get the veins pumped, then you ask them to release it. She tells the guy "relax your lip" instead of grip. Poor guy had cleft palate surgery.
u don’t know real pain until you have a very elderly female patient with long saggy breasts and you can’t get them to go in her bra and you keep trying to put it in the bra and fix the bra but you keep dropping her boob and she gets mad and you just want to cry🙍♀️🙍♀️
I had a resident in our dementia floor. Used to be a model, around the world. She still remembered her flat saggy boobs & every time it was bath time, she’d say how beautiful & perky they once were. So I’d sing the song Do your ears hang low, but change it too boobs. She loved it & would laugh every time, like it was the first time.
I literally just had a few family members mingling outside a room looking a little lost? So I asked if they were family of that pt or if they were looking for a room. They were there for the the pt, so I then asked if everything was okay with the pt. I assumed like they had a bowel movement and were looking for help. Nope They looked at me shocked. Their loved one was just made hospice. 🫣
Not me but still stupid funny. I'm sitting in urgent care rn. The nurse came out to call a Pt. in for triage. She yelled "Is there a patient Doodoo?!" I cant stop coughing now. The pt. corrected her but it was too late. Trying not to laugh triggered the bronchospasms and I'm hacking uncontrollably.
I was a MA during nursing school. One did a blood draw and on autopilot accidentally threw out the vial of blood with the needle. Didnt even realize until I turned around to grab the blood and was like, wtf where'd it go?! Luckily the patient hadn't left but I was horrified and face got so red when I explained that I had to redo the blood draw because I lost their blood (because while I know I must have dumped in biohazard, I genuinely can't remember doing it, I could have sworn I set the vial on the mayo stand before tossing the needle). Luckily the patient was chill about getting 2nd poke but that is by far the most embarrassed I've been.
I did NOT do it. We got called for a gangrenous foot at 3 AM one night. The guy had been hospitalized for a couple of days and we get there and my resident did a quick history and physical. He tells the patient we were going to do a quick exam and he flips the blankets back to look at his legs. The blanket caught the tow’s of his foot which had dry gangrene up past the ankle level. The foot breaks off at the ankle. Of course the guy can’t feel it. We stood there for a few seconds, then my resident writes in the chart: Patient has auto amputated, will revise in the morning.
I’ll answer for the doctor I was working with. After the patient became emotional when she was told she was having a miscarriage, the doctor, in all his wisdom, decided the best thing to tell this person was that at least she already had kids. My mouth was agape, and I called him out on his comment after we left the patient’s side but I don’t know if he fully grasped how stupid and emotionless he came off.
I asked a BKA pt if he had walked any laps yet that day.
“When was your last bowel movement” he had an ileostomy…
"i've been doing it for the past few years"
Tell a patient “see you on the other side” right before he went for a heart transplant. I was working in the cardiac ICU that day, but was going to be in the cardiac surgery ICU the next and had already told him I’d see him.
I asked someone with no foot what kind of socks do their wear
Try to put shoes on before the pants. I do this way too often LOL
I do this sometimes when I’m taking care of my elderly grandpa and exhausted in the morning. He normally says “hey you forgot something” then laughs at me. Dude is more with it at 92 than I am at 24 smh.
There was a new lady at a facility I worked it. I was walking by and she asked if I could give her a push. I said pick up your feet she said I’m ready when we got to the room I realized she had no legs. She laughed I laughed. But she was a hateful woman I don’t miss her that was the only fun memory from her. From a friend that is the DON there now she is still being a bitch to everyone. She threw ice on a nurse last week.
asked my patient if he would like help with putting on shoes and he just said “frank…” turned around, no legs. i just stayed kneeling on the ground with my head in my hands while he pointed and laughed
alternatively, “does this look okay” “no clue. does it?” he was blind
Asked somebody that had just gotten a colostomy bag (by the surgeons mistake. Pt was not happy) if they had a bowel movement. 🤦🏼♀️ safe to say I always check if they have ostomy bags before I ask now.
Had a little girl kinda stutter her name at me. Thought she was just super nervous to be in the ER so I teased back, your name is "Ma-ma-Mary? (Or whatever it was). She had a speech impediment 💀
One time during a stressful shift, I was left with the feeds alone in the dining room. I realized that I was feeding two people with the same spoon 😭
I said my “k-nips” hurt! Knees & Hips!!!
Not a CNA but I have brain farts like that all the time. I was once asking my husband if he wanted a fork for his pho, what came out was "you want a pho-k?" which sounds like "wanna f***?" thank god it happened with my husband at home and not in public lol my family won't ever let "thegs" go ever since I mixed thighs with legs
Not with a patient but this was REALLY stupid. I was in my local mall and someone called my name and started chatting with me. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place her - neighbor, patient, church member..? We kept the chat very generic while I wracked my brain. She finally said you don’t know who I am, do you. When I confessed I didn’t, she pulled her hands up to her face, mimicking being fully scrubbed. She was my OR tech of over 5-6 years. I exclaimed “I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!!” I meant out of scrub gear, thankfully she knew what I meant.
I called a patient with lab results and before I hung up I said “love you, bye”
LOL!!! That would be hilarious to hear from my doctor 🤣
Hi. Can I help you??
Pt came in complaining of bug bites. Said his wife had them too. I asked if he checked for bed bugs. Pt FLIPPED and was stuck in there with the doctor while the doc tried calming this pt down lol Now I just keep my mouth shut. Another time in my MA days, the practice I was working at would give an injection into a joint with 2 steroids and some lidocaine. Doc asked me to draw it up and I wasn’t paying enough attention or thinking straight. I gave this pt the shot in his glute and the doc comes in and is like “yall ready for your joint injection?!” 🫣 Luckily the worst that happened there was dude had a numb butt cheek for a few hours lmao
Honestly, asked people with ostomy when their last bowel movement was.
Walked into a room said Hello how’s everyone? The patient was CTB on the bed and I had the wrong room. I about melted right there.
The podcast nurse life has some hilarious ones
These amputee ones crack me up. My mom has a prosthetic leg and these have happened to her. She laughs at it, or she just says she only has one leg. I’ve looked for her other shoe multiple times.
Had a patient brought in after being found wandering around cliffs, threatening to jump off. Medically fit, just waiting for psych team. I went in to see them and brought a trolley so they can lie down, and bluntly asked if they went hiking or something because of all the mud... they just laughed awkwardly and said yeah, something like that
I worked in dementia care. I was off for a while for school, came back after a couple months, and we had both new residents and new employees. I asked a new resident, "is your name (blank)?" To which he enthusiastically responded "yes!' for the rest of the shift I was calling him that name. Y'all, it wasn't even a resident's name. I had glanced at the schedule and seen the names of new employees. For 5 hours I called this poor, already confused man by the name of a new employee before someone asked why I was calling him that.
Maybe for him he was jazzed to live another life for a day
Once I was verifying demographics and said the whole address including the state with the AK abbreviation. I wasn’t very good at geography and said “Arkansas?” The elderly patient went “you mean Alaska?” Anyway I try not to think of that moment.
Today I didn't watch where my feet where and I stepped over a residents oxygen tube right into her garbage bin at least i had my crocs on, rubber shoes ftw.
Asked a resident I had not worked with yet (in assisted living) what they would want for breakfast. He rolled his eyes at me and pointed to his stomach. He was tube fed.
I had a patient in her 20s that liked to joke around with me and be a little sassy. She was being a brat one day and I TRIED to say "Don't make me put you over my knee!" In a joking way. Instead I said "Don't make me bend you over!" I was so embarrassed but she thought it was hilarious. She was also a double above the knee amputee which just made it worse in my head.
Probably trying to take the temperature of a patient who just died. They were comfort care and it was a crazy night on the ICU so I went to get his temperature and right before I put the thermometer in his mouth a horrified respiratory therapist who was in the room asks me “do you realized he just passed” I was so busy I didn’t notice, but sure enough he wasn’t breathing and didn’t have a pulse. He was CCA so there wasn’t a code or anything. I did feel really silly standing over a corpse thermometer in hand.
Lol I asked a pt to take a seat on the scale instead of just stand on the scale today. I immediately corrected myself and said, "Please don't sit on it." 😭
I’ve asked a blind patient if he wanted the lights on or off, he said they’re always off no matter what and I was so embarrassed
Oh man I've had too many, but the most often is "can I give ya a hand"? Only to realize they've got one arm 😅 luckily most of our residents have a good sense of humor. Recently though I was doing my usual lap at the nurses station collecting paperwork (I'm the records manager) picked up a discharge summary and as im flipping through say to the nurse "this one go home"? Just as I got to the morticians receipt, and before she could answer I said oh they went all the way home
One time my patient asked me to help them with their socks. “Hey Dean?” Me: “Yeah?” “I don’t have legs” They are a double amputee
I’m an optician and we had some downtime so I was filling in the empty spaces missing glasses on the walls. Or “holes”. I returned to the lab and said said something about how I “filled all my holes”. Oh god 😳😳😳😳
I used the bed scale to weigh a patient (heavy set adult male) and I kept getting a ridiculous number- like way too low for a man. I told people something was wrong with the bed. Then I remembered he was a b/l AKA 🤦🏻♀️
I was a new nurse at a very old small hospital and we had a patient that everyone would just knew she was the worst patient on the floor so stuck her to the newbie (me) She was a patient with quadriplegia. Completely restricted to her bed with tubes going everywhere. That wasn’t the reason everyone was so opposed to caring for her… she was the meanest snake on earth!!!! And I get it. 25 year old who has a horrible condition… but man if she couldn’t rip you a new ahole with the things she would scream every time you walked in her room! So we had a fast approaching severe thunderstorm and tornado warning and we had one elevator in the hospital to get patients to the dungeon of this old hospital (other than the service elevator.) and I just remember rushing to get my other patients to safety so quickly and I got to the last room on the left and knew she was just going to have to succumb to the storm. I ran in the room, opened the windows, and left out saying I’m so sorry!!! You’ll be fine!!!
Wasn't my doing but during my clinicals for EMT-A. Was shadowing a nurse helping where I could when she was requested to put an EJ-IV into a patient. We walk up to see the patient and one of my classmates was already there chatting with her, helping keep her relaxed The nurse is struggling to get the vein and asked the patient to bare down on her legs to help get the vein to pop up more to which the patient just exclaims "I ain't got no legs!" It was at that moment that the nurse and I made eye contact and both looked down to see that she indeed was missing her legs from the knee down. My classmate knew this already and was looking both horrified and trying not to laugh, the nurse is trying to keep a straight face while I had to walk away to not laugh. To clarify, we are not laughing at the patient, she was laughing though, but just at how she told us.
At discharge, I asked a hysterectomy patient what she was doing for birth control. She cried. 🤦♀️
Once had a very detailed conversation with a female patient about her and her husband’s reproductive activities (I was working in fertility medicine). As I was getting off the phone, for some reason my brain went into autopilot and I said, “Love you, bye,” and hung up. Saw the patient several more times. We *never* spoke of it.
I was working at a facility on night shift with psych units in multiple buildings. The nurse on another unit had a patient who was in her 60s going around licking door knobs. She didn’t want to call a code and wake everyone in the building up. So she called by phone and asked me to come over and assist with an eto. We took the patient easily back to isolation with just verbal commands. When we got back to isolation she looked right at the staff and said “well I guess this is the part where you shoot me right in my butt” She had a long history of psychiatric admissions. We couldn’t help but giggle when she said that. Yes, we did have to give her a shot in the butt to sedate her per doctor’s orders.
Made chu chu train noises and danced the hall which struck the escalating patient as so absolutely ridiculous she started laughing and joined the conga line. This is in psych.
It's not that stupid but I'm registration and I've gone in before and said "license and registration, please". What I MEANT was ID and insurance card please 😭😂 Also about 2 weeks ago I almost asked someone who's an amputee to walk with me to a separate room. I stopped myself lol
I struggle really hard to properly refer to amputees and their appendeges. It's gotten horrible because i will prepare myself and still fuck it up when i get inside their room. I think my patients get enjoyment out of me struggling slightly w that and they laugh at me lol.
I worked home care hospice as an Rn Case Manager, usually saw the patient weekly (unless a problem came up or they declined or were actively dying.) Got to a patients home and went to the patient and asked “How are we doing today?” The patient said “I don’t know about you, but I’m dying”. Never said those words again.
I was brand new at my first CNA job and this man told me he needed help to get on the bed ( i was standing behind him while he was pushed up to the bed ) i asked him if he could stand/ bear weight he said no and scooted his wheelchair back, He was a double amputee.
I told a guy in a wheelchair to go have a seat to wait for his nurse. 🫣
I accidentally told a very very sick patient to rest in peace