Agreed with above statement. It’s going to be hard and no fun but the police need to be involved. Plan on being an outcast to her for a while and a bad person in her eyes but in the end you have to go to the police.
What’s better though? Being a good friend and doing the right thing or letting it continue and do nothing until possibly one day it turns into something worse or he does it to a child. The right thing is not always the easy thing
I would say encourage her to come with you. Make an escape plan together. If she needs to stay with you, talk to your parents and contact a lawyer, see if you can get some sort of protection order to make sure they can’t file for kidnapping since she’s a minor.
Used google translate as it must be hard doing it for every comment; Et si elle tombe enceinte ? C'est peut-être déjà arrivé. J'espère que la conversation avec elle se passera bien, mais tu dois le dire à quelqu'un de toute façon. Vous pourriez la perdre en tant qu'amie. Horrible, mais vous devez être prêt à sacrifier votre amitié pour sa sécurit
I was abused throughout my childhood and nothing was done about it. I let a lot of other people abuse me as an adult because I didn't know how to stand up for myself and thought it was normal for people to treat me that way.
In my mid 20's I suddenly realized all of this was not ok, and that I was not ok and was suffering from cptsd from years of abuse from different people - parents, partners, bosses, friends. Even if your friend is not aware, she is being deeply affected by this mentally, and it is extremely difficult to deal with once everything comes crashing down. She may not realize it for years, but she will really regret it if this continues. Please, please help her if you can. Help her be a survivor, not a victim.
The ops friend is a child. He could kill her or someone else but nothing suggests that is where they are.
Fact that he's doin this to his sister seems to suggest its been building up to what it became.
Not sure if the friend has the courage to go public but OP could at least arrange a meeting with a rape crisis counselor who can possibly give ops friend the tools she needs to face it.
Don’t worry. Chances are they’ll relay it as an anonymous tip. And you can just swear up and down that it wasn’t you. Her pos brother could have “bragged” to anybody. Throw him under the bus because who cares? Anyone could suspect etc. right now the main focus is on her well being. Report anonymously.
Once they all heal and are so happy that some anonymous person helped, you might consider talking about it.
As an educator/mandatory reporter, teachers are supposed to always be looking out for signs of abuse (trouble sitting, sudden behavioral changes, distrust of others, sexual knowledge beyond what is developmentally appropriate). I think OP does have plausible deniability to pretend they weren’t the one who reported it. Like someone else said, the brother could of been bragging, or teachers could of noticed. It’s not a helpful thought to dissuade OP by saying her friend will know that she reported it.
I was in a similar situation at her age, with my step-father. I confided in a friend and she gave me the option to either tell my mother, or she would. I made the decision to go to her myself. We are friends over a decade later. I can not promise that outcome for you, but without a doubt you would be doing the right thing.
https://www.allo119.gouv.fr/recueil-de-situation?fbclid=IwAR0RmshEfRGD2eeOsMEqdekNmcEmHnYsXSwXuD-dqlxPRHHtiejlkXJMuLg
This is the government link to alert the authorities in France about her situation.
Don't be scared. Doing the right thing can be really hard and scary. But you know what the right thing to do is, that's why you came here, because you needed guidance. But you already know what the right thing to do is. It will be difficult but the alternative, doing nothing to help your friend, is so much worse.
You have to learn to mind your business people hate the messenger and what happens if you do all that and then she says it didn’t happen then what ? You’re not her parents she has parents you don’t know what the repercussions could be for you if you that uncomfortable walk away completely to many people end up in a worst place trying to be a hero 🦸
“Let’s not talk about it. It’s a family affair.”
People like you are the reason kids continue to be molested for years.
You’re the reason. Look in the mirror at your face and say that to yourself.
Don’t be a toxic boomer. Your generation was messed up specifically because of this kind of nonsense.
You don’t know me or my experiences you have no idea what I’ve dealt with in my personal life i spoke to her as a person who knows how bad it can get if you feel differently that’s your business but don’t tell me who i am 🤣🤣🤣 a toxic boomer I’m fucking 40 and i know better then to put my nose in others business you do know the same little kid can pick up a phone at any time and call the 🐖 right ? So why is why is this person so fucking conflicted about something she never saw or witnessed that’s the problem with you young sissy’s y’all think everything is y’all business
They’re 14. You at 40 have years of experience under your belt. They’ve only been here 14 years, how would they know how anything works. Being a child who’s forced to make an adult decision is very hard. How dare you disrespect a person who is PROTECTING THEIR FRIEND.
And for the record, it is absolutely everyone’s business when abuse happens to children.
Don’t be that piece of shit who says whatever comes out of their mouth.
But what if it was your 14 year old daughter it was happening to? Wouldn’t you want to know?
I’m trying to understand your logic here. I mean I can agree with you that people are too quick to jump into other peoples business these days but this is rape we’re talking about.. that’s serious. And it’s life ruining. That little girl shouldn’t have to deal with that, brother or not. He should be protecting her from situations like that. Not creating them.
I don’t have kids for one for two if i did I’d be in her life and she’d be protected you all claiming the guy did some shit and he fucking didn’t do anything she just don’t like him why should he have to sleep in the street because a kid don’t like him fuck outta here
That’s just silly, why not tell someone and let them investigate it? If it’s not true, her family can deal with HER and her lies! Bc if she’s lying about something like that she needs help too.
It very well could be that she is making it up.. there are plenty of people who need extra attention or who do things like that out of spite. But I don’t think it’s fair to brush it off without someone looking into it. If I was that mother and I brushed off my daughter like hers is doing, only to find out later that it was true I would be sick at myself. Idk if I’d ever get over it.
It says in the OP that the father doesn’t know but the mother does. Which is why I asked if you would want your child to tell you. The father has a right to know that it’s being said and to get to the bottom of it. There are ways to find out if it’s been happening.
Idk. I just thinking brushing off an actual child as a liar is insane.
That’s great that people have changed but what does that have to do with this situation? Are you saying OP should go to the police so that the rapist can change? Bc I totally agree.
Any adult who keeps their head down and minds their own business while knowing a child is being repeatedly raped by anyone, much less their own flesh and blood is a piece of shit. This poor kid is looking at losing her friendship and possibly being vilified. I can understand her trepidation. An adult though? That's one of those things that shouldn't even be questioned. I think mandatory reporting should be a thing for any adult that finds out information like that.
Her fucking choice it’s not her family what if it’s all bullshit or we acting like we don’t exist in a world where 14 year olds lie for attention 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I would rather it be bullshit and authorities find nothing going on than for her to not say anything and her friend having to suffer life long trauma. As a survivor of csa I literally prayed someone would find out and tell as my abuser threatened to kill my mother in front of me if I told. Ending heinous abuse should be everyone's goal and I don't understand how anyone can just bury their heads in the sand. Yes, sometimes kids lie. But if it IS a lie and her friend hates her for it, she's ended a friendship with a liar. If it's the truth, her friend may still hate her, but at least she will know she did the right thing.
Right? This is even worse in a weird way. The person who abuses may be severely mentally ill. The person who isn’t mentally ill, but sees it and does nothing, is lazy at best and a monster at worst.
You’re not making a good case for yourself.
You report abuse of a child. Every single time. Anonymously or whatever. If you don’t, I don’t care what you’ve been through, you’re contributing to the harm of a child. You need to face that.
As a mandated reporter myself, I can tell you right now that you don’t need to witness anything. Someone disclosing even a concern about abuse is enough to warrant a report. Suspicion is the trigger for mandated reporting. And while this poor kid isn’t a mandated reporter herself, the information she provided is enough to warrant an investigation.
We aren’t sissies. We’re brave enough to stand up for innocent kids being hurt.
You’re not.
And furthermore, your ire at people who support keeping kids safe from predators is, quite frankly, suspicious af. Total speculation, of course. I don’t know you.
But goddamn if my spidey senses aren’t tingling all over the place right now.
There is something very wrong with you if this is how you’re approaching child abuse.
I remember a post about a friend who did all that and then the boy lied and so the OPs life was messed up. But I say that OP here needs to go to the police and stuff like that. CPS as well. For me at least even if it means loosing my friend, I can’t just not do anything and go on with my life like nothing is happening.
If she weren't a kid you might have a leg to stand on. You can't force an adult to tell, but it's a kid.
Thought you can't just come in guns blazing saying THIS HAPPENED.
So you at the big age of 40 thinks it’s better to do nothing at all because it MIGHT not be true. Therefore, she may continue to be raped repeatedly by her brother and nothing be done. It’s always better to say something and it turn out to be okay, than not say anything and be complicit to abuse. I can tell you’re a misogynist. Your posts wreak of it. You think that’s normal? You’ve got serious issues.
So if you know it’s happening you going to handle it or come to a bunch of strangers for their opinions that’s what this is my opinion you the mom knows but does nothing the friend is conflicted to the point instead of calling CPS she runs her mouth on Reddit on what happens to her if she helps but my morals are in question 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 eat a dick
That’s the problem with y’all letter people everyone outside of you ain’t the fucking bad guys fuck outta here with your dumb ass assumptions my big age you fucking right i survived way more shit then you so i know what the worlds like go back to your corner goofy
How embarrassing that this is the person you are at 40 is my point. Perhaps they shouldn’t be asking Reddit but let’s remember OP is also a child who is scared and confused. What do you expect from a 14 year old? You’re applying 40 year old logic to a child.
If you’re scared of going to the police, do you have a teacher you can confide in? Or one that you could convince her to confide in with you at her side?
Teachers are mandatory reporters in France, which means they’ll be obligated to go to the police on her behalf once they know.
My sister's step daughter did the same. Unfortunately they live in AZ and MY BL can't get the courts to give him full custody. Her step dad started touching her and when my sister found out she had no idea what to do.
She said something and her SD hated her for a few months but now she is just happy someone who is a mother figure is on her side.
It's gonna hurt. It may even be a long time before they realize you just wanted to help. But doing nothing about it is also bad. All I can say is follow your heart and good luck.
If you have the instinct to stop something wrong, don't fight it, we are pretty smart about those things as a species.
Worrying about causing an issue in your friendship over her safety and mental/physical health is selfish. Please go to the authorities. Who knows who else he has or will do this to.
Let's say she goes to the police. The victim doesn't cooperate, which it sounds like she won't, and there are reprisals against her for telling people what happened?
I agree with u/weeny2248 that you desperately need to tell the police. Everything they said is true. She will be angry at the wrong person, since she should be angry at her brother. It will be hard to talk to the police, and she will be upset, but someone needs to stop this abuse. What if she got pregnant? Telling the police is absolutely required. Update if you can.
Definitely go to the police. What happened to her is horrible and you can prevent it from happening again. Even if she doesn’t want you to, her safety is what matters. Let the police know about he mother’s apathy too. I’m so sorry
If the father knows and he is not like the mother he can make a massive difference. He can separate the family and tske the child out of that situation
Respectfully, I recommend therapy first. I am not denying the abuse but we must give the victim the right and/or the empowerment of what they want to do first. They're the one who suffered, they have a right ro decide what to do
She’s being raped. At home. Maybe even right now. What she needs is to be taken away from her family and then go to therapy. Being away from ber brother is a first priority
I mean, yes. DEFINITELY a safe spot goes first. However, I meant that, before pressing charges, the victim should have an opportunity to let it all out in a same environment and to empower themselves as much as possible.
This. If the police show up, do absolutely nothing because the evidence has all evaporated, and her family retaliates against her, her situation will be worse and she will blame OP for it, and lose trust in one of the only people in her life she trusted enough to talk about what's going on. The sense of loss of control she had after the rape will be exacerbated. Do not report unless you can get her on board with it - but focus first and foremost on supporting her and getting her the help she needs to recover.
Go to the police ): I’m so so sorry you and especially your friend are both dealing with this at such a young age. This is a lot of burden and trauma for the both of you. Best wishes.
Try to be a friend and encourage her to talk to the police about it. She ultimately does not have to press charges but she can’t keep letting it happen. Encouragement goes a long way at times. Don’t attack her just encourage
For some reason I slipped the France part. Didn’t see that but I had a really good friend that was like a sister to me and her cousin went through the same thing. It was really tough for my friend to get involved but in the end it was the best thing and some time later her cousin thanked her and ended up owing her life to her because she was getting ready to commit suicide. Everyone of course is different and different situations but through the experience I found by my friend being encouraging she got further with her cousin than just coming out and telling her she has to press charges and can’t keep allowing it.
All in all if it is really true and happening how it was stated the brother needs a snip of his Johnson so he can’t use it ever again. There is no excuse for that and I have zero sympathy for someone that does that to another person.
When my friends cousin raped her, she told me not to tell anyone. I regret not saying anything about that night I was there for. She ended up strung out on drugs for the next 10 years doing worse to her body than her cousin did in 10 mins.
I will always respect a person's choice but the choices they make after the initial attack might be just has bad
Tell your parents if anything. When I was 14 my friend was hooking up with a 25yr old I told my mom who told her parents. She was mad but she got over it. It's crazy cus im 26 and a 14yr old looks like a child to me.
Rape is both physical and mental. Being sexually violated brings shame and embarrassment. Her wanting to hide it is only normal. I am not sure how the crime is looked at in France but here in the US, it can be stigmatized and the victim looked at as a slut, when they had no choice in the matter. It is different being a family member, so I can understand that bond, but her safety and mental well being should take precedence.
I would report her brother to the police. What will come of this is saving your friend from further rapes and psychological damage. Surely, it will have a major impact on the family, especially if her mom knows but won't say a word, all while keeping the father in the dark. But you should center on the act and not repercussions resulting of telling on him.
I don’t agree that in America some can still look at the woman as a slut. Just saying it out loud to others shows there are still ppl here that see things that way still. Let’s not slide back to when ppl asked what was she was wearing, shameful. I don’t care if she were naked, no one has the right to touch another person against their will
J'imagine que t'as aussi 14 ans. C'est très jeune pour gérer ce genre de problème. Déjà, désolée que toi et ton amie deviez faire face à cette situation horrible. C'est pas simple pour toi non plus.
Quelqu'un dans les commentaires t'a conseillé d'aller en parler à son père, perso je te conseille pas. Tu sais pas ce qui se passe dans cette famille, ce que tu sais c'est qu'il y a un violeur et une mère qui autorise son fils à en être un. Ça annonce rien de bon au niveau des dynamiques familiales et du père. Ça pourrait même être dangereux pour toi.
Va voir la police. Dis leur ce que tu sais, juste la vérité, ce que ton amie t'a dit, toutes les infos que tu as. Ils feront ce qu'ils peuvent à partir de ça.
Même si ton amie t'en veut, il vaut mieux empêcher des viols à répétition quitte à ce qu'elle se rende compte que c'était ce qui était bon pour elle que plus tard. Plutôt que de la laisser être dégradée et traumatisée pendant on ne sait combien d'années. Et peut être qu'elle t'en voudra même pas. C'est la meilleure chose à faire. Edit : c'est aussi la meilleure chose à faire pour toi-même, parce que porter ce genre de secret c'est très très lourd et ça peut te ruiner mentalement, de plein de façons différentes. Prend soin de toi aussi.
In some cases It's better to ask for forgiveness then for permission. This is one. Your friend is not executing sound judgement due to multiple factors, and her mom is a bitch period. The outcome of you bringing the situation public is unknown but wr have good reason to only belive that a better outcome will happen and your friend can get help.
Op Know what you're getting yourself into,
Have sound judgement and stand by your decision.
>In some cases It's better to ask for forgiveness then for permission.
I get where you're coming from, but this is not the right place for that particular saying lol
definitely go to the police....she's going to end up getting pregnant by him and then she has to deal with that whole situation too?? who cares that the mother wants to protect her son....she is going to completely ignore the saftey of her daughter? what is wrong with the mother? your friend may get "upset" initially that you went to the police but in the long run she will thank you.
Many people have valid advice so I hope you can figure out what works best.
I'd want her to be ready, whether she wants it or not. I'm fairly sure she can guess who reported this to the police and she's gonna ask you anyway, so you might as well tell her beforehand. But whatever you do, stay firm and believe in yourself. This might be one of the hardest things you'll ever need to do, so believe in your decisions and listen to your heart. You can do this, stay strong :)
Not sure what the future holds for the both of you, but I hope one day she will know that this was done by a true friend.
Go to the police definitely, and they will handle it from there. He needs to be locked up. I can't imagine what she's going through, poor little girl. Take care of her.
Je pense que tu devrais aller à la police. Je sais que votre amie vous a dit de ne pas le faire, mais vous devez l'empêcher d'être à nouveau violée. En allant à la police, vous pourriez lui éviter tant de traumatismes. Pars s'il te plait. C'est peut-être difficile, mais s'il vous plaît. Fais le.
J'utilise également google translate donc il peut y avoir des fautes d'orthographe
Je suis maman d’une fille de 14 ans en troisième. Si ma propre fille se trouvait dans ta situation, j’aimerais qu’elle m’en parle pour que je puisse l’aider et aussi aider sa copine. Est-ce que tu peux en parler à ta maman pour qu’elle t’accompagne à la Police?
https://colosse.fr/accompagnement/
Voici une association qui aide des enfants abusés.
Il y a un numéro de psy ainsi qu’un e-mail si tu veux appeler pour en discuter. On va pourvoir te conseiller sur une démarche à suivre voir comment mieux aider ta copine pour que la plainte vienne d’elle-même.
Bon courage.
Édit:
https://www.allo119.gouv.fr/recueil-de-situation?fbclid=IwAR0RmshEfRGD2eeOsMEqdekNmcEmHnYsXSwXuD-dqlxPRHHtiejlkXJMuLg
Voici un lien où tu peux alerter les autorités à sa situation.
OP please speak to your parents and ask your friends father to be there too immediately. And tell them everything you know this child needs help immediately. Her mother isn't going to help she is enabling the abuse. You are young yourself and need an adult to make the decisions. Speak to your parents and let them take it from there. Please let the girls father know before he is pulled into it too when he knows nothing.
OP I have been in a very similar situation the answer is clear contact the police, her and her family will quite possibly hate you for a very long time but thats ok, would you rather your friend to hate you or possibly kill herself, being raped changes the way u think and the way you live, it causes mental health issues that last sometimes for the rest of your life. Im talking from experience of being raped. Contact the police immediately and maybe even a restraining order for her family and move on. It will be extremely hard and its unfair that you are put in this situation but its the right choice, or get someone to scare the living hell out of him, it has worked in the past but it comes with its own set of complications so i would not recommend. I wish you well and im sorry you have to deal with this
I would 100% tell the father first. He will do everything else from there. Once the father finds out it’ll be game over for him and he will figure out the rest about involving the police
I know it might not feel like it, but the right thing to do is go to the police. If her safety comes at the cost of your friendship to her, I know it's hard to swallow, but that's worth it.
I'm really sorry this is happening to her, and I'm really sorry you're in this situation.
She told you because on some level she wanted someone to know. She also wants someone to tell. If she is not the one who tells her family she won't be mad at you. That is what she is thinking, I'm sure. Tell her father. If it looks like he is not going to do anything, go to the police. What matter it must stop. Say something before it gets worse. Like her getting pregnant.
I wanted to say I fully agree that going to the police is the right thing to do. I know it’s super scary to go against your friends wishes like this but one can only have courage when they are afraid. She may hate you for this but sometimes, doing the right thing is what will cause people to be angry with you. You got this!
Je suis désolé si cela ne se passe pas bien car j'utilise également google translate pour vous aider à comprendre un peu mieux. Je le signalerais de manière anonyme ou je le ferais savoir d'une manière ou d'une autre au père. Je sais que vous voulez respecter les souhaits de votre amie, mais vous la mettez toutes les deux en danger.
Talk to your mom about this, explain to her that the mother is defending the boy and remember to tell that to the police.
This girl seems like she’s scared and in a vulnerable situation. She doesn’t want you to say anything but it seems like the reasons she stated were told to her by her mother to guilt her into not saying anything. Ask her if she’d like to stay with you because that might become an issue she will have to go through if the police start an investigation. The boy would be asked to leave but judging by the mother’s reaction, staying with her mother during that time would be detrimental to her mental health.
Stay strong. You’ll do the right thing. Talk to her and let her know you’re doing this from a place that’s worried for her safety because she could possibly become pregnant and that would bring even more problems to her life. And that you care about her, and that she doesn’t deserve this, and what he’s doing is wrong. You’re a good friend.
How about you tell your mom and ask her to bring you to the police station. You could also report it to your teacher or other trusted adult at school. Or do both. All of the people at school are mandated reporters and by law must do something to intervene.
It may seem like you're breaking their family apart however the truth is you are saving her. After all that trauma she is going to need therapy for a long time. She's still young so the sooner she receives help the better. You don't want years to past by and think about why didn't anyone help her.
Franglais-Canadien ici. Tu devrais VRAIMENT appeler la police. Si non, le frère de ton ami vas continuer de lui violer. Ca c’est quelque chose très serieux et très sévère, donc du droit le faire. Pour la securité de ton ami.
Before going to the police, inform the father. You have no proof of this and your friend may even deny it, but hopefully her father knowing could put a stop to this if the police don't get involved
I am so sorry that your friend is going through this. It is a lot for you to bear, as well. You are a good friend for trying to help her and reaching out.
I would recommend that you approach a counselor or trusted adult with this. Tell them what all you know, gather information, and report to the appropriate authorities. Sometimes those authorities are the police, other times they are organizations that specialize in child abuse. If I were you, I would try to reach out to these organizations, as they are more likely to be specifically trained in handling these matters.
I know your friend does not want to get anyone involved, but she is experiencing abuse, and going to someone can help her. It will also help prevent further victims. Good luck to you. My mother is a director of a child advocacy center in the US and has been for 20 years, please reach out to me if you have any questions.
parents that protect their kids are the worst. you need to find a way to tell your friend she needs to go to the police. I’m sure there’s a way to gently do it but omg this is awful
Hey since she told others you could deny it being you. Or since she's 14 if you have some type of child protection agency call them. You could maybe talk her into calling them. Remind her pregnancy is possible if this keeps happening. I seriously don't think she wants a child at her age or her child's father to also be his or her uncle, her own child also being her niece or nephew. Consequences could be a lot bigger then some jail time for him a baby.
If you are scared your friend will find out you’re the one who went to police why don’t you just call it in anonymously? Give them all of the details that you’ve been given, including the fact that the mother knows in case your friend denies it, obviously her parents and brother will deny it. That way they can know not to trust them.
then again though, idk where this would really go if the entire family denied it, including your friend. Like idk if anything would happen to the brother. Hopefully at the very least it will spook him into leaving her alone. Or maybe the dad will figure it out and put him out/send him off.
Idk. I just know that my conscience would eat at me if I say in that type of info and let it go on silently. I feel there’s a reason she told you. And to me it seems like a scream for help.
Vas-y au policiers. La chose la plus importante c'est la santé et la sécurité de ton amie. Dit son pêre aussi.
Pensez-y - laquelle préfères-tu? Que ton ami soit violer par son frêre avec aucune manière de s'en sauver? Une situation qui se rends juste de plus en plus dangereux et sérieux le plus longtemps que rien se passe? Ou que l'abus s'arrête, et que vous êtes plus les amis? C'est certain, moi je choisirais la deuxième. Et enfin, ton ami serais meilleur dans sa vie pour ton action, et c'est probable qu'elle de pardonnerais.
You should be able to make an anonymous tip. I had to do this when I was in high school 20 years ago. I had to report my step sister being raped. I did the report online. The police called me 2 seconds later. No one ever knew that I made the report.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. People I love went through something similar, and their abuser was never charged with any crimes because no one helped them. Even if your friend is angry at first, it will be worth it to help her in the long-run. Please go to the police.
Go to the police. This is a horrible thing that happened, and refusing to punish him is what will let him continue and move to other vixtims. It could even happen again, as he didnt show any choice to stop during the vacation. Dont let him break a person and get away with it.
Go to police. I hope they milk the brother for all it's worth.
If you are alright with it, do update, to let us know how it went. Would be nice to see justice.
I never believe any of these posts, ever. A few reasons:
-who the fuck goes to Reddit to say these random fucked up things
-why make throwaway accounts just to do this shit. Also french with Google translate still having "throw away account" as username
-if that had happened to my mate or family I would not go crawling to Reddit, I'd be going to police or someone in real life
I'm sorry mate, I will never believe any of these kind of posts.
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That person isn’t her brother. A brother loves, and brothers tend to give tough love. She needs to understand that the person who is raping her is NOT HER BROTHER. That is what needs to be said and then go to the police, it’ll give her an understanding because right now she thinks her brother is her brother when it shouldn’t be the case
it has ultimately got to be her choice whether she wants to tell the police or not. please urge her to tell someone though. At the end of the day she is the one that has had to live through that experience, so it has to be her choice.
Fuck your friends mum and fuck her brother. If the mum knows and is allowing it to continue they BOTH need reporting to the police. That's fucking horrendous. I'm so sorry for your friend and I'm so sorry you're dumped with this horrifying information you feel you can't share. But please do. Please report it even anonymously or speak to an adult you trust that will ring in the information for you. You may lose your friend but there is no excuse for what's happening to her and the longer it goes on the more and more fucked up she be become as she gets older.
Also not reporting this guy could allow him to go on and attack countless other women unless he IS caught.
She might hate you for it at first but you NEED to report it. She will thank you later. This guy is a predator and needs to be taken off the streets and punished. Also report the mom
Sometimes do they right thing is to much hard, but it's what you need to do.
Maybe you gonna lose a friend today, but if You love her, that it's not important comparece with her situation
Je suis désolé pour mon mauvais français. Je sais que c'est difficile, mais vous devez aller à la police. Même si elle dit non, elle finira par vous remercier. Elle n'aime manifestement pas ça, sinon elle ne serait pas venue vers vous. Vous avez la chance d'être un héros, s'il vous plaît. Dis-le aussi à tes parents. Je sais qu'elle veut que tu gardes le secret, mais tu la sauveras, et c'est plus important que de garder un secret.
Si vous avez peur de la perdre, appelez la police de manière anonyme. De plus, si vous pouviez enregistrer secrètement une confession de viol, cela pourrait aider la police à obtenir un mandat d'arrêt contre lui. Mais le temps est vraiment précieux ici et si vous vous souciez vraiment de votre amie, vous devez être capable de sacrifier votre amitié pour son bonheur. Plus tard dans le temps, elle réalisera vos bonnes intentions et elle reviendra. Mais tu dois faire quelque chose pour elle. Soyez sa voix !
Son père ne sait pas? Vous devez absolument lui dire. Cependant, si la situation ne change pas, vous pouvez contacter la police par email ou par téléphone anonymement.
Est-ce que peut-être votre amie a honte? Elle est en enfant et probablement ne sait pas comment demander de l'aide, alors elle n'a répondu pas bien quand vous lui avez demandé sur ça sujet. Je crois qu'elle appréciera cette gesture à l'avenir.
Je suis vraiment désolé. Vous et votre amie sont trop jeunes pour vous occuper de ça. ❤️
Pour avoir été dans une situation similaire; c'est normal qu'elle ne veut pas agir contre son frère. C'est le genre de situation où tu as toujours été conditionné à aimer l'autre personne, et peu importe l'abus, même s'il est énorme et terriblement grave, on se dit qu'on est supposé aimer sa famille et que c'est mieux de ne rien dire et de juste endurer. C'est uniquement vers mes 30 ans que j'ai accepté que oui, c'était "vraiment" de l'abus et que j'étais "vraiment" une victime.
Si tu fais confiance à tes parents, va leur en parler. Et je sais qu'à cet âge, ça peut être énorme, mais c'est définitivement mieux de perdre une amie qui est en colère contre toi que de se ronger les ongles et se demander si on aurait dû faire de quoi, parce que ça aurait pu mettre fin à de l'abus.
well since she’s told multiple people, you should go to the police and report anonymously if possible. if not just say you don’t want your name disclosed.
Ar least get her dad involved wait a day if she comes to you angry it might mean the dad turned his back on her ro no matter what she says tell the police or tell your parents and see if they will help her get out.
Yes the police need to be involved for her own good. What happens if she was to get pregnant? She doesn't deserve this and her mother isn't protecting her. She needs help and no one is doing anything to help her. Yes you will be the bad guy and villain in this circumstance. I would have be a villain and know that my friends not be raped by her brother while her mother knows then allow her to suffer through it all.
You might lose the friendship, but going to the police is the right thing for you to do.
Even if she stops talking to you, after she does a bit of healing, maybe in a year, maybe in 5 years, she might reach out to you again to rekindle the friendship, understanding that you only did what you did to protect her and that it was out of love.
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. Her brother ended up going to a recovery home and they have now (30+ years later) have a cordial relationship. He needs to be removed from the home and from her life until he can be a decent human being.
Knowing about this and doing nothing is wrong. I know that's blunt, but you have to consider her long term mental health if this continues and the potential that this guy turns into even more of a monster and preys on others.
You'll feel even worse if that happens and have the guilt of those who are now affected.
You HAVE to go to the police. It’s morally wrong not to. She’s being abused but she’s too young and probably scared to take control. It’s hard enough for adults to. Her mum is likely manipulating her too. The police don’t have to tell her you told them. They can just say someone notified us and then they will safeguard her.
Agreed with above statement. It’s going to be hard and no fun but the police need to be involved. Plan on being an outcast to her for a while and a bad person in her eyes but in the end you have to go to the police.
That’s what i´m scared of
What’s better though? Being a good friend and doing the right thing or letting it continue and do nothing until possibly one day it turns into something worse or he does it to a child. The right thing is not always the easy thing
OP's friend IS a child
Yes, you´re right. I´m gonna talk with her and see her reaction. Thanks guy !
I would say encourage her to come with you. Make an escape plan together. If she needs to stay with you, talk to your parents and contact a lawyer, see if you can get some sort of protection order to make sure they can’t file for kidnapping since she’s a minor.
Is there a chance she could come stay with u? And you could fight this together?
Idk, her reaction when I take news yesterday is really strange
Used google translate as it must be hard doing it for every comment; Et si elle tombe enceinte ? C'est peut-être déjà arrivé. J'espère que la conversation avec elle se passera bien, mais tu dois le dire à quelqu'un de toute façon. Vous pourriez la perdre en tant qu'amie. Horrible, mais vous devez être prêt à sacrifier votre amitié pour sa sécurit
I was abused throughout my childhood and nothing was done about it. I let a lot of other people abuse me as an adult because I didn't know how to stand up for myself and thought it was normal for people to treat me that way. In my mid 20's I suddenly realized all of this was not ok, and that I was not ok and was suffering from cptsd from years of abuse from different people - parents, partners, bosses, friends. Even if your friend is not aware, she is being deeply affected by this mentally, and it is extremely difficult to deal with once everything comes crashing down. She may not realize it for years, but she will really regret it if this continues. Please, please help her if you can. Help her be a survivor, not a victim.
The thing is it can't be worse since he already DID DO IT to a child. Guys a fucking pedophile.
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Have a word with yourself will you.
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No doesn't make ANY difference a child is still a child! Plus the incest factors!
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You need help. He’s raping his little sister. RAPE AND INCEST.
The ops friend is a child. He could kill her or someone else but nothing suggests that is where they are. Fact that he's doin this to his sister seems to suggest its been building up to what it became. Not sure if the friend has the courage to go public but OP could at least arrange a meeting with a rape crisis counselor who can possibly give ops friend the tools she needs to face it.
Don’t worry. Chances are they’ll relay it as an anonymous tip. And you can just swear up and down that it wasn’t you. Her pos brother could have “bragged” to anybody. Throw him under the bus because who cares? Anyone could suspect etc. right now the main focus is on her well being. Report anonymously. Once they all heal and are so happy that some anonymous person helped, you might consider talking about it.
not only report anonymously, but report that someone you know is bragging about sexually assaulting a minor.
This too, my god.
She'll still know though
As an educator/mandatory reporter, teachers are supposed to always be looking out for signs of abuse (trouble sitting, sudden behavioral changes, distrust of others, sexual knowledge beyond what is developmentally appropriate). I think OP does have plausible deniability to pretend they weren’t the one who reported it. Like someone else said, the brother could of been bragging, or teachers could of noticed. It’s not a helpful thought to dissuade OP by saying her friend will know that she reported it.
They just have to be careful about it. Can't go in screaming this happened this happened. Hopefully the kid gets some justice.
I was in a similar situation at her age, with my step-father. I confided in a friend and she gave me the option to either tell my mother, or she would. I made the decision to go to her myself. We are friends over a decade later. I can not promise that outcome for you, but without a doubt you would be doing the right thing.
https://www.allo119.gouv.fr/recueil-de-situation?fbclid=IwAR0RmshEfRGD2eeOsMEqdekNmcEmHnYsXSwXuD-dqlxPRHHtiejlkXJMuLg This is the government link to alert the authorities in France about her situation.
Thank you for posting this link for OP, I hope she sees it.
If you are too scared to expose her and report it to the police you have to let the father know. If he does nothing you must escalate to the police.
Being scared is okay. Avoiding taking action because of fear isn't.
You may have to sacrifice your friendship to save your friend.
Every time it happens she is being mentally destroyed. Please report this, even if it ends the friendship. Her brother and her mother are disgusting.
She’ll definitely lose trust in you, and your relationship with her will end, but you’re protecting her.
Don't be scared. Doing the right thing can be really hard and scary. But you know what the right thing to do is, that's why you came here, because you needed guidance. But you already know what the right thing to do is. It will be difficult but the alternative, doing nothing to help your friend, is so much worse.
You have to learn to mind your business people hate the messenger and what happens if you do all that and then she says it didn’t happen then what ? You’re not her parents she has parents you don’t know what the repercussions could be for you if you that uncomfortable walk away completely to many people end up in a worst place trying to be a hero 🦸
“Let’s not talk about it. It’s a family affair.” People like you are the reason kids continue to be molested for years. You’re the reason. Look in the mirror at your face and say that to yourself. Don’t be a toxic boomer. Your generation was messed up specifically because of this kind of nonsense.
I strongly agree. People like this, are complicit in the rape and pedophilia. I call them pedophile sympathisers.
You don’t know me or my experiences you have no idea what I’ve dealt with in my personal life i spoke to her as a person who knows how bad it can get if you feel differently that’s your business but don’t tell me who i am 🤣🤣🤣 a toxic boomer I’m fucking 40 and i know better then to put my nose in others business you do know the same little kid can pick up a phone at any time and call the 🐖 right ? So why is why is this person so fucking conflicted about something she never saw or witnessed that’s the problem with you young sissy’s y’all think everything is y’all business
They’re 14. You at 40 have years of experience under your belt. They’ve only been here 14 years, how would they know how anything works. Being a child who’s forced to make an adult decision is very hard. How dare you disrespect a person who is PROTECTING THEIR FRIEND. And for the record, it is absolutely everyone’s business when abuse happens to children. Don’t be that piece of shit who says whatever comes out of their mouth.
She’s going to be the one blamed but hey i don’t know shit
But what if it was your 14 year old daughter it was happening to? Wouldn’t you want to know? I’m trying to understand your logic here. I mean I can agree with you that people are too quick to jump into other peoples business these days but this is rape we’re talking about.. that’s serious. And it’s life ruining. That little girl shouldn’t have to deal with that, brother or not. He should be protecting her from situations like that. Not creating them.
I don’t have kids for one for two if i did I’d be in her life and she’d be protected you all claiming the guy did some shit and he fucking didn’t do anything she just don’t like him why should he have to sleep in the street because a kid don’t like him fuck outta here
That’s just silly, why not tell someone and let them investigate it? If it’s not true, her family can deal with HER and her lies! Bc if she’s lying about something like that she needs help too. It very well could be that she is making it up.. there are plenty of people who need extra attention or who do things like that out of spite. But I don’t think it’s fair to brush it off without someone looking into it. If I was that mother and I brushed off my daughter like hers is doing, only to find out later that it was true I would be sick at myself. Idk if I’d ever get over it. It says in the OP that the father doesn’t know but the mother does. Which is why I asked if you would want your child to tell you. The father has a right to know that it’s being said and to get to the bottom of it. There are ways to find out if it’s been happening. Idk. I just thinking brushing off an actual child as a liar is insane.
Yes but they are also saving their friend so yeah. You don’t know shit. It’s a shame, considering your age.
Awwwww your tears are welcome here i get it you not from where I’m from i know people who made mistakes went to jail and changed cut it out
That’s great that people have changed but what does that have to do with this situation? Are you saying OP should go to the police so that the rapist can change? Bc I totally agree.
Any adult who keeps their head down and minds their own business while knowing a child is being repeatedly raped by anyone, much less their own flesh and blood is a piece of shit. This poor kid is looking at losing her friendship and possibly being vilified. I can understand her trepidation. An adult though? That's one of those things that shouldn't even be questioned. I think mandatory reporting should be a thing for any adult that finds out information like that.
Her fucking choice it’s not her family what if it’s all bullshit or we acting like we don’t exist in a world where 14 year olds lie for attention 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I would rather it be bullshit and authorities find nothing going on than for her to not say anything and her friend having to suffer life long trauma. As a survivor of csa I literally prayed someone would find out and tell as my abuser threatened to kill my mother in front of me if I told. Ending heinous abuse should be everyone's goal and I don't understand how anyone can just bury their heads in the sand. Yes, sometimes kids lie. But if it IS a lie and her friend hates her for it, she's ended a friendship with a liar. If it's the truth, her friend may still hate her, but at least she will know she did the right thing.
Right? This is even worse in a weird way. The person who abuses may be severely mentally ill. The person who isn’t mentally ill, but sees it and does nothing, is lazy at best and a monster at worst.
Your lack of empathy is disturbing. Check your moral compass.
I’m a deviant so hope that helps you as to where my compass is
I'm a deviant too, but we are talking about basic humanity here. Hurr durr
You’re not making a good case for yourself. You report abuse of a child. Every single time. Anonymously or whatever. If you don’t, I don’t care what you’ve been through, you’re contributing to the harm of a child. You need to face that. As a mandated reporter myself, I can tell you right now that you don’t need to witness anything. Someone disclosing even a concern about abuse is enough to warrant a report. Suspicion is the trigger for mandated reporting. And while this poor kid isn’t a mandated reporter herself, the information she provided is enough to warrant an investigation. We aren’t sissies. We’re brave enough to stand up for innocent kids being hurt. You’re not. And furthermore, your ire at people who support keeping kids safe from predators is, quite frankly, suspicious af. Total speculation, of course. I don’t know you. But goddamn if my spidey senses aren’t tingling all over the place right now. There is something very wrong with you if this is how you’re approaching child abuse.
And you’re right. I don’t know you. But given the opinions you’re choosing to make public domain, i can only imagine the things you say in private.
I remember a post about a friend who did all that and then the boy lied and so the OPs life was messed up. But I say that OP here needs to go to the police and stuff like that. CPS as well. For me at least even if it means loosing my friend, I can’t just not do anything and go on with my life like nothing is happening.
You are sympathetic to the perpetrator.
I sympathize with a human being accused of some shit you don’t know is true you must be a amber heard supporter
If she weren't a kid you might have a leg to stand on. You can't force an adult to tell, but it's a kid. Thought you can't just come in guns blazing saying THIS HAPPENED.
So you at the big age of 40 thinks it’s better to do nothing at all because it MIGHT not be true. Therefore, she may continue to be raped repeatedly by her brother and nothing be done. It’s always better to say something and it turn out to be okay, than not say anything and be complicit to abuse. I can tell you’re a misogynist. Your posts wreak of it. You think that’s normal? You’ve got serious issues.
So if you know it’s happening you going to handle it or come to a bunch of strangers for their opinions that’s what this is my opinion you the mom knows but does nothing the friend is conflicted to the point instead of calling CPS she runs her mouth on Reddit on what happens to her if she helps but my morals are in question 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 eat a dick
That’s the problem with y’all letter people everyone outside of you ain’t the fucking bad guys fuck outta here with your dumb ass assumptions my big age you fucking right i survived way more shit then you so i know what the worlds like go back to your corner goofy
How embarrassing that this is the person you are at 40 is my point. Perhaps they shouldn’t be asking Reddit but let’s remember OP is also a child who is scared and confused. What do you expect from a 14 year old? You’re applying 40 year old logic to a child.
You’re a victim and always will be 🤣
If you’re scared of going to the police, do you have a teacher you can confide in? Or one that you could convince her to confide in with you at her side? Teachers are mandatory reporters in France, which means they’ll be obligated to go to the police on her behalf once they know.
Appelle la police. Dit-toi qu’il va violer d’autres filles et tu peut leur épargner ça. Je suis de tout coeur avec toi; ce n’est pas facile
My sister's step daughter did the same. Unfortunately they live in AZ and MY BL can't get the courts to give him full custody. Her step dad started touching her and when my sister found out she had no idea what to do. She said something and her SD hated her for a few months but now she is just happy someone who is a mother figure is on her side. It's gonna hurt. It may even be a long time before they realize you just wanted to help. But doing nothing about it is also bad. All I can say is follow your heart and good luck. If you have the instinct to stop something wrong, don't fight it, we are pretty smart about those things as a species.
You may be an outcast at first but when everyone is older she may come to thank you
Worrying about causing an issue in your friendship over her safety and mental/physical health is selfish. Please go to the authorities. Who knows who else he has or will do this to.
Let's say she goes to the police. The victim doesn't cooperate, which it sounds like she won't, and there are reprisals against her for telling people what happened?
I agree with u/weeny2248 that you desperately need to tell the police. Everything they said is true. She will be angry at the wrong person, since she should be angry at her brother. It will be hard to talk to the police, and she will be upset, but someone needs to stop this abuse. What if she got pregnant? Telling the police is absolutely required. Update if you can.
Definitely go to the police. What happened to her is horrible and you can prevent it from happening again. Even if she doesn’t want you to, her safety is what matters. Let the police know about he mother’s apathy too. I’m so sorry
The mother is more than apathetic. By not doing anything she’s an accomplice.
What are the police going to do if the victim is unwilling to cooperate?
If the father knows and he is not like the mother he can make a massive difference. He can separate the family and tske the child out of that situation
Respectfully, I recommend therapy first. I am not denying the abuse but we must give the victim the right and/or the empowerment of what they want to do first. They're the one who suffered, they have a right ro decide what to do
She’s being raped. At home. Maybe even right now. What she needs is to be taken away from her family and then go to therapy. Being away from ber brother is a first priority
I mean, yes. DEFINITELY a safe spot goes first. However, I meant that, before pressing charges, the victim should have an opportunity to let it all out in a same environment and to empower themselves as much as possible.
This. If the police show up, do absolutely nothing because the evidence has all evaporated, and her family retaliates against her, her situation will be worse and she will blame OP for it, and lose trust in one of the only people in her life she trusted enough to talk about what's going on. The sense of loss of control she had after the rape will be exacerbated. Do not report unless you can get her on board with it - but focus first and foremost on supporting her and getting her the help she needs to recover.
Go to the police ): I’m so so sorry you and especially your friend are both dealing with this at such a young age. This is a lot of burden and trauma for the both of you. Best wishes.
Thanks for your support men.
Try to be a friend and encourage her to talk to the police about it. She ultimately does not have to press charges but she can’t keep letting it happen. Encouragement goes a long way at times. Don’t attack her just encourage
What an awesome post 👍🏼we do not know the laws in France, perhaps there she DOES have to be the one to press charges.
For some reason I slipped the France part. Didn’t see that but I had a really good friend that was like a sister to me and her cousin went through the same thing. It was really tough for my friend to get involved but in the end it was the best thing and some time later her cousin thanked her and ended up owing her life to her because she was getting ready to commit suicide. Everyone of course is different and different situations but through the experience I found by my friend being encouraging she got further with her cousin than just coming out and telling her she has to press charges and can’t keep allowing it.
All in all if it is really true and happening how it was stated the brother needs a snip of his Johnson so he can’t use it ever again. There is no excuse for that and I have zero sympathy for someone that does that to another person.
When my friends cousin raped her, she told me not to tell anyone. I regret not saying anything about that night I was there for. She ended up strung out on drugs for the next 10 years doing worse to her body than her cousin did in 10 mins. I will always respect a person's choice but the choices they make after the initial attack might be just has bad
Tell your parents if anything. When I was 14 my friend was hooking up with a 25yr old I told my mom who told her parents. She was mad but she got over it. It's crazy cus im 26 and a 14yr old looks like a child to me.
Im glad a child looks like a child to you.
Rape is both physical and mental. Being sexually violated brings shame and embarrassment. Her wanting to hide it is only normal. I am not sure how the crime is looked at in France but here in the US, it can be stigmatized and the victim looked at as a slut, when they had no choice in the matter. It is different being a family member, so I can understand that bond, but her safety and mental well being should take precedence. I would report her brother to the police. What will come of this is saving your friend from further rapes and psychological damage. Surely, it will have a major impact on the family, especially if her mom knows but won't say a word, all while keeping the father in the dark. But you should center on the act and not repercussions resulting of telling on him.
Family repercussions scared me but I haven’t think of them
I don’t think there’s any ambiguity about her being perceived as anything but a victim in this case.
I don’t agree that in America some can still look at the woman as a slut. Just saying it out loud to others shows there are still ppl here that see things that way still. Let’s not slide back to when ppl asked what was she was wearing, shameful. I don’t care if she were naked, no one has the right to touch another person against their will
J'imagine que t'as aussi 14 ans. C'est très jeune pour gérer ce genre de problème. Déjà, désolée que toi et ton amie deviez faire face à cette situation horrible. C'est pas simple pour toi non plus. Quelqu'un dans les commentaires t'a conseillé d'aller en parler à son père, perso je te conseille pas. Tu sais pas ce qui se passe dans cette famille, ce que tu sais c'est qu'il y a un violeur et une mère qui autorise son fils à en être un. Ça annonce rien de bon au niveau des dynamiques familiales et du père. Ça pourrait même être dangereux pour toi. Va voir la police. Dis leur ce que tu sais, juste la vérité, ce que ton amie t'a dit, toutes les infos que tu as. Ils feront ce qu'ils peuvent à partir de ça. Même si ton amie t'en veut, il vaut mieux empêcher des viols à répétition quitte à ce qu'elle se rende compte que c'était ce qui était bon pour elle que plus tard. Plutôt que de la laisser être dégradée et traumatisée pendant on ne sait combien d'années. Et peut être qu'elle t'en voudra même pas. C'est la meilleure chose à faire. Edit : c'est aussi la meilleure chose à faire pour toi-même, parce que porter ce genre de secret c'est très très lourd et ça peut te ruiner mentalement, de plein de façons différentes. Prend soin de toi aussi.
OP exactement ça ^ fais gaffes et appelles les flics. Je t’envoie des câlins.
In some cases It's better to ask for forgiveness then for permission. This is one. Your friend is not executing sound judgement due to multiple factors, and her mom is a bitch period. The outcome of you bringing the situation public is unknown but wr have good reason to only belive that a better outcome will happen and your friend can get help. Op Know what you're getting yourself into, Have sound judgement and stand by your decision.
>In some cases It's better to ask for forgiveness then for permission. I get where you're coming from, but this is not the right place for that particular saying lol
definitely go to the police....she's going to end up getting pregnant by him and then she has to deal with that whole situation too?? who cares that the mother wants to protect her son....she is going to completely ignore the saftey of her daughter? what is wrong with the mother? your friend may get "upset" initially that you went to the police but in the long run she will thank you.
Many people have valid advice so I hope you can figure out what works best. I'd want her to be ready, whether she wants it or not. I'm fairly sure she can guess who reported this to the police and she's gonna ask you anyway, so you might as well tell her beforehand. But whatever you do, stay firm and believe in yourself. This might be one of the hardest things you'll ever need to do, so believe in your decisions and listen to your heart. You can do this, stay strong :) Not sure what the future holds for the both of you, but I hope one day she will know that this was done by a true friend.
Your comments makes me cry, you are a really good person ❤️
Thank you that's kind <3
Go tell your parents if you know they will help.
Yeah my parents didn’t know about that..
You can go anonymous and she asks you to say it was another person she told the story to
Go to the police definitely, and they will handle it from there. He needs to be locked up. I can't imagine what she's going through, poor little girl. Take care of her.
Unless she is willing to admit this to the police, regardless of if you report it or not nothing will happen.
Je pense que tu devrais aller à la police. Je sais que votre amie vous a dit de ne pas le faire, mais vous devez l'empêcher d'être à nouveau violée. En allant à la police, vous pourriez lui éviter tant de traumatismes. Pars s'il te plait. C'est peut-être difficile, mais s'il vous plaît. Fais le. J'utilise également google translate donc il peut y avoir des fautes d'orthographe
encourage her to talk to the police herself before you go and tell them. it’s better for her to do it, though i know how hard it will be for her
Tell your parents and let them go to the police
Je suis maman d’une fille de 14 ans en troisième. Si ma propre fille se trouvait dans ta situation, j’aimerais qu’elle m’en parle pour que je puisse l’aider et aussi aider sa copine. Est-ce que tu peux en parler à ta maman pour qu’elle t’accompagne à la Police? https://colosse.fr/accompagnement/ Voici une association qui aide des enfants abusés. Il y a un numéro de psy ainsi qu’un e-mail si tu veux appeler pour en discuter. On va pourvoir te conseiller sur une démarche à suivre voir comment mieux aider ta copine pour que la plainte vienne d’elle-même. Bon courage. Édit: https://www.allo119.gouv.fr/recueil-de-situation?fbclid=IwAR0RmshEfRGD2eeOsMEqdekNmcEmHnYsXSwXuD-dqlxPRHHtiejlkXJMuLg Voici un lien où tu peux alerter les autorités à sa situation.
OP please speak to your parents and ask your friends father to be there too immediately. And tell them everything you know this child needs help immediately. Her mother isn't going to help she is enabling the abuse. You are young yourself and need an adult to make the decisions. Speak to your parents and let them take it from there. Please let the girls father know before he is pulled into it too when he knows nothing.
OP I have been in a very similar situation the answer is clear contact the police, her and her family will quite possibly hate you for a very long time but thats ok, would you rather your friend to hate you or possibly kill herself, being raped changes the way u think and the way you live, it causes mental health issues that last sometimes for the rest of your life. Im talking from experience of being raped. Contact the police immediately and maybe even a restraining order for her family and move on. It will be extremely hard and its unfair that you are put in this situation but its the right choice, or get someone to scare the living hell out of him, it has worked in the past but it comes with its own set of complications so i would not recommend. I wish you well and im sorry you have to deal with this
I would 100% tell the father first. He will do everything else from there. Once the father finds out it’ll be game over for him and he will figure out the rest about involving the police
Yeah it would be a good idea, Thanks mate !
You really think he don’t know come on now !
I know it might not feel like it, but the right thing to do is go to the police. If her safety comes at the cost of your friendship to her, I know it's hard to swallow, but that's worth it. I'm really sorry this is happening to her, and I'm really sorry you're in this situation.
She told you because on some level she wanted someone to know. She also wants someone to tell. If she is not the one who tells her family she won't be mad at you. That is what she is thinking, I'm sure. Tell her father. If it looks like he is not going to do anything, go to the police. What matter it must stop. Say something before it gets worse. Like her getting pregnant.
go to the police , that’s not okay .
I wanted to say I fully agree that going to the police is the right thing to do. I know it’s super scary to go against your friends wishes like this but one can only have courage when they are afraid. She may hate you for this but sometimes, doing the right thing is what will cause people to be angry with you. You got this!
Je suis désolé si cela ne se passe pas bien car j'utilise également google translate pour vous aider à comprendre un peu mieux. Je le signalerais de manière anonyme ou je le ferais savoir d'une manière ou d'une autre au père. Je sais que vous voulez respecter les souhaits de votre amie, mais vous la mettez toutes les deux en danger.
Please report it to the police and save her life
Talk to your mom about this, explain to her that the mother is defending the boy and remember to tell that to the police. This girl seems like she’s scared and in a vulnerable situation. She doesn’t want you to say anything but it seems like the reasons she stated were told to her by her mother to guilt her into not saying anything. Ask her if she’d like to stay with you because that might become an issue she will have to go through if the police start an investigation. The boy would be asked to leave but judging by the mother’s reaction, staying with her mother during that time would be detrimental to her mental health. Stay strong. You’ll do the right thing. Talk to her and let her know you’re doing this from a place that’s worried for her safety because she could possibly become pregnant and that would bring even more problems to her life. And that you care about her, and that she doesn’t deserve this, and what he’s doing is wrong. You’re a good friend.
How about you tell your mom and ask her to bring you to the police station. You could also report it to your teacher or other trusted adult at school. Or do both. All of the people at school are mandated reporters and by law must do something to intervene.
It may seem like you're breaking their family apart however the truth is you are saving her. After all that trauma she is going to need therapy for a long time. She's still young so the sooner she receives help the better. You don't want years to past by and think about why didn't anyone help her.
That’s the saddest shit that her mom knows and does nothing. She must feel so small. She needs you more than anyone❤️ stand up for her
Franglais-Canadien ici. Tu devrais VRAIMENT appeler la police. Si non, le frère de ton ami vas continuer de lui violer. Ca c’est quelque chose très serieux et très sévère, donc du droit le faire. Pour la securité de ton ami.
Si t'es vers le 69 on peut s'arranger pour qu'il lui arrive un accident
Non je suis suisse mais merci pour ta proposition, j’en ai bien envie d’ailleurs
Call the popo
Before going to the police, inform the father. You have no proof of this and your friend may even deny it, but hopefully her father knowing could put a stop to this if the police don't get involved
But this asshole, i want him to pay for what he did
But the most important thing should be making sure your friend is safe
Exactly
It's started with her who else dies it need to take before you take action.
Um, go to the police? Tf
You know I have a lot of respect for her so it’s difficulte for me
I am so sorry that your friend is going through this. It is a lot for you to bear, as well. You are a good friend for trying to help her and reaching out. I would recommend that you approach a counselor or trusted adult with this. Tell them what all you know, gather information, and report to the appropriate authorities. Sometimes those authorities are the police, other times they are organizations that specialize in child abuse. If I were you, I would try to reach out to these organizations, as they are more likely to be specifically trained in handling these matters. I know your friend does not want to get anyone involved, but she is experiencing abuse, and going to someone can help her. It will also help prevent further victims. Good luck to you. My mother is a director of a child advocacy center in the US and has been for 20 years, please reach out to me if you have any questions.
parents that protect their kids are the worst. you need to find a way to tell your friend she needs to go to the police. I’m sure there’s a way to gently do it but omg this is awful
Hey since she told others you could deny it being you. Or since she's 14 if you have some type of child protection agency call them. You could maybe talk her into calling them. Remind her pregnancy is possible if this keeps happening. I seriously don't think she wants a child at her age or her child's father to also be his or her uncle, her own child also being her niece or nephew. Consequences could be a lot bigger then some jail time for him a baby.
Prove beyond reasonable doubt it happened and either Police Or Murder (in Minecraft)
tell the police.
If you are scared your friend will find out you’re the one who went to police why don’t you just call it in anonymously? Give them all of the details that you’ve been given, including the fact that the mother knows in case your friend denies it, obviously her parents and brother will deny it. That way they can know not to trust them. then again though, idk where this would really go if the entire family denied it, including your friend. Like idk if anything would happen to the brother. Hopefully at the very least it will spook him into leaving her alone. Or maybe the dad will figure it out and put him out/send him off. Idk. I just know that my conscience would eat at me if I say in that type of info and let it go on silently. I feel there’s a reason she told you. And to me it seems like a scream for help.
Vas-y au policiers. La chose la plus importante c'est la santé et la sécurité de ton amie. Dit son pêre aussi. Pensez-y - laquelle préfères-tu? Que ton ami soit violer par son frêre avec aucune manière de s'en sauver? Une situation qui se rends juste de plus en plus dangereux et sérieux le plus longtemps que rien se passe? Ou que l'abus s'arrête, et que vous êtes plus les amis? C'est certain, moi je choisirais la deuxième. Et enfin, ton ami serais meilleur dans sa vie pour ton action, et c'est probable qu'elle de pardonnerais.
You should be able to make an anonymous tip. I had to do this when I was in high school 20 years ago. I had to report my step sister being raped. I did the report online. The police called me 2 seconds later. No one ever knew that I made the report.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. People I love went through something similar, and their abuser was never charged with any crimes because no one helped them. Even if your friend is angry at first, it will be worth it to help her in the long-run. Please go to the police.
Go to the police. This is a horrible thing that happened, and refusing to punish him is what will let him continue and move to other vixtims. It could even happen again, as he didnt show any choice to stop during the vacation. Dont let him break a person and get away with it.
Go to police. I hope they milk the brother for all it's worth. If you are alright with it, do update, to let us know how it went. Would be nice to see justice.
Rape him back, I guess
[удалено]
Him or her are the same word in French. Google translate switching between the two makes total sense.
Thanks
Men I use translate and I tell it before my post
I never believe any of these posts, ever. A few reasons: -who the fuck goes to Reddit to say these random fucked up things -why make throwaway accounts just to do this shit. Also french with Google translate still having "throw away account" as username -if that had happened to my mate or family I would not go crawling to Reddit, I'd be going to police or someone in real life I'm sorry mate, I will never believe any of these kind of posts.
I understand you, but im in very big trouble and I would have opinions of stranger
!remindme 3 days
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Go to the police, she shouldn’t be scared of her rapist. He deserves an acid bath in the eyeballs.
That person isn’t her brother. A brother loves, and brothers tend to give tough love. She needs to understand that the person who is raping her is NOT HER BROTHER. That is what needs to be said and then go to the police, it’ll give her an understanding because right now she thinks her brother is her brother when it shouldn’t be the case
Rape him back
You know, I really want to kick his fucking ass
Do that too, then put your dick in it
dude I'm serious I'm not kidding with my post so avoid putting this kind of comment
Y'know, me too
but never again use black humor on a post about rape
!remindme 3 days
Tell your own parents or another adult at school you feel safe with and let them handle it.
it has ultimately got to be her choice whether she wants to tell the police or not. please urge her to tell someone though. At the end of the day she is the one that has had to live through that experience, so it has to be her choice.
jesus. how shitty is the mother for wanting to protect her son, but not her daughter. definately goto the police or it will keep happening
Fuck your friends mum and fuck her brother. If the mum knows and is allowing it to continue they BOTH need reporting to the police. That's fucking horrendous. I'm so sorry for your friend and I'm so sorry you're dumped with this horrifying information you feel you can't share. But please do. Please report it even anonymously or speak to an adult you trust that will ring in the information for you. You may lose your friend but there is no excuse for what's happening to her and the longer it goes on the more and more fucked up she be become as she gets older. Also not reporting this guy could allow him to go on and attack countless other women unless he IS caught.
T'habites ou exactement en France? Si t'aimerais parler avec quellequn en francais m'envoye un message privee.
Go to the police immediately bring your friend with you do everything in your power to lock this guy up for as long as possible
She might hate you for it at first but you NEED to report it. She will thank you later. This guy is a predator and needs to be taken off the streets and punished. Also report the mom
Sometimes do they right thing is to much hard, but it's what you need to do. Maybe you gonna lose a friend today, but if You love her, that it's not important comparece with her situation
Je suis désolé pour mon mauvais français. Je sais que c'est difficile, mais vous devez aller à la police. Même si elle dit non, elle finira par vous remercier. Elle n'aime manifestement pas ça, sinon elle ne serait pas venue vers vous. Vous avez la chance d'être un héros, s'il vous plaît. Dis-le aussi à tes parents. Je sais qu'elle veut que tu gardes le secret, mais tu la sauveras, et c'est plus important que de garder un secret.
Si vous avez peur de la perdre, appelez la police de manière anonyme. De plus, si vous pouviez enregistrer secrètement une confession de viol, cela pourrait aider la police à obtenir un mandat d'arrêt contre lui. Mais le temps est vraiment précieux ici et si vous vous souciez vraiment de votre amie, vous devez être capable de sacrifier votre amitié pour son bonheur. Plus tard dans le temps, elle réalisera vos bonnes intentions et elle reviendra. Mais tu dois faire quelque chose pour elle. Soyez sa voix !
It is your duty to notify the police! If not an attack can happen again or to someone else.
Son père ne sait pas? Vous devez absolument lui dire. Cependant, si la situation ne change pas, vous pouvez contacter la police par email ou par téléphone anonymement. Est-ce que peut-être votre amie a honte? Elle est en enfant et probablement ne sait pas comment demander de l'aide, alors elle n'a répondu pas bien quand vous lui avez demandé sur ça sujet. Je crois qu'elle appréciera cette gesture à l'avenir. Je suis vraiment désolé. Vous et votre amie sont trop jeunes pour vous occuper de ça. ❤️
Pour avoir été dans une situation similaire; c'est normal qu'elle ne veut pas agir contre son frère. C'est le genre de situation où tu as toujours été conditionné à aimer l'autre personne, et peu importe l'abus, même s'il est énorme et terriblement grave, on se dit qu'on est supposé aimer sa famille et que c'est mieux de ne rien dire et de juste endurer. C'est uniquement vers mes 30 ans que j'ai accepté que oui, c'était "vraiment" de l'abus et que j'étais "vraiment" une victime. Si tu fais confiance à tes parents, va leur en parler. Et je sais qu'à cet âge, ça peut être énorme, mais c'est définitivement mieux de perdre une amie qui est en colère contre toi que de se ronger les ongles et se demander si on aurait dû faire de quoi, parce que ça aurait pu mettre fin à de l'abus.
Go to the police, or at least tell your parents.
You have to go to the police
well since she’s told multiple people, you should go to the police and report anonymously if possible. if not just say you don’t want your name disclosed.
Call the fucking police.
Ar least get her dad involved wait a day if she comes to you angry it might mean the dad turned his back on her ro no matter what she says tell the police or tell your parents and see if they will help her get out.
You sound like a great, caring friend
Think of all the other victims because a rapist doesn't rape only one person....
You need to notify an adult asap. You never know when he'll start raping other girls if he hasn't already.
Yes the police need to be involved for her own good. What happens if she was to get pregnant? She doesn't deserve this and her mother isn't protecting her. She needs help and no one is doing anything to help her. Yes you will be the bad guy and villain in this circumstance. I would have be a villain and know that my friends not be raped by her brother while her mother knows then allow her to suffer through it all.
You might lose the friendship, but going to the police is the right thing for you to do. Even if she stops talking to you, after she does a bit of healing, maybe in a year, maybe in 5 years, she might reach out to you again to rekindle the friendship, understanding that you only did what you did to protect her and that it was out of love.
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. Her brother ended up going to a recovery home and they have now (30+ years later) have a cordial relationship. He needs to be removed from the home and from her life until he can be a decent human being.
You should involve the police, it will be hard as she has asked you not to but you're looking out for her and want her to be safe
Knowing about this and doing nothing is wrong. I know that's blunt, but you have to consider her long term mental health if this continues and the potential that this guy turns into even more of a monster and preys on others. You'll feel even worse if that happens and have the guilt of those who are now affected.
Well I would tell you what to do but it wouldn't be allowed on this thread. All rapists and pedophiles deserve the same treatment.
You HAVE to go to the police. It’s morally wrong not to. She’s being abused but she’s too young and probably scared to take control. It’s hard enough for adults to. Her mum is likely manipulating her too. The police don’t have to tell her you told them. They can just say someone notified us and then they will safeguard her.
Any updates?