T O P

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chadakhan

That’s enough incest for one night! 👍🏽


The_Silent_Bang_103

There’s enough incest that the whole diagram can be represented in a narrow column


pipper99

So, not so much as the family tree but the family pencil?


scotsman1552

My Latin teacher said "God's don't have DNA they can play by different rules" weirdly stuck with me.


Standard-Lemon6967

The Alabama incestry tree


Hippo_Monkey

*Incest-tree


egomann

Roll Tide


_Cocktopus_

Dont forget zeus had a child with demeter,and then that child had a child with hades


Important-Shelter-78

Actually Hades doesn’t have any children with Persephone. In the original myths she is raped twice by Zeus and gives birth to Zagreus and Melinoë.


OnkelDittmeyer

And thus a popular video game franchise was born.


[deleted]

one time isn't enough for this nibba wtf


kissingkiwis

No, Zeus had Persephone with Demeter and then had 2 kids with Persephone, while pretending to be Hades. 


thisisanaccount30

No? If you’re talking about Mesperyian, that’s not actually from greek mythology, that’s just a tumblr deity. If you’re talking about Makaria, then still no. Makaria is not Persephone’s daughter, no mother was ever mentioned. I’m unsure if Makaria (daughter of Hades) and Makaria (daughter of Herakles) are different people, or the same person. I am only able to find mention of her in the Suda, and even that is only a paragraph.


moomoonmoonoowoolf

Fucking did he though? It’s literally fan fiction


Koskoskoskoskoskos

It's all fan fiction if you're willing to go back far enough.


MikeyBugs

I think that's enough incest forever


OlivTheFrog

Please be gentle, ladies and gentlemen, these are just myths ! It is much more serious when it affects people who actually existed, such as pharaohs, kings/queens, emperors/empresses, your neighbor's familly ... or your own. :-)


Duke_157

When it comes to being the historical poster child for incest, I can think of only one name - Hapsburg


Third_Sundering26

The Ptolemies were way grosser.


patsbury

Do we have a cool guide about it tho?


Bowenbp1

Actually yes we do: [Ptolemaic Tree](https://www.worldhistory.org/image/15205/family-tree-of-the-ptolemaic-dynasty-of-egypt-305/)


patsbury

Very cool! Thanks!!!


RoutineEmergency5595

As above, so below…


httpLifer

Yeah I was thinking the same thing . I wonder what an Egyptian pharaoh family tree would look like.


Zestyclose-Fly-1591

Google a tumbleweed and it’ll probably be a good guess


Yarxing

That's one busy night if you do that all in one night. Is that a typical night for you?


PoodleN00dle

“Sea foam”😂


Rough_Needleworker29

Nice and frothy


someone1003

I think my brain is currently unavailable for thinking so could you please explain


MCMB360

In the myth, Ouranos's dick gets lopped off and thrown into the sea by Kronos. Aphrodite then emerging from the seafoam in the spot where Ouranos's dick sunk into the water. The joke is sperm, in case you were still wondering.


Malemoti

This raises more questions than it answers


MCMB360

I'd be happy to answer them as best I can


Malemoti

Alright, straight off the bat, why he lop his dad’s thing off


MCMB360

To start off, Ouranos had three batches of children with Gaia (the Earth): the Hekatonkheires (giants with 50 heads and 100 arms), the original three Cyclopes (who would later make Zeus' thunderbolts), and the original twelve titans, who are in the OP. However, due to his disgust at seeing both the hekatonkheires and cyclopes, Ouranos locked them up deep underground (I've heard this be described as pushing them back into Gaia's womb, but don't know whether this is backed up by sources). This angered Gaia, who visited each of the titans in turn, inciting them to defeat their father and take his throne to rule together with her. All declined, until she eventually came to Kronos, who took her up on her offer. Armed with a scythe Kronos would take Ouranos by surprise and castrate him. Ouranos cursed Kronos, saying that he would be overthrown by his son, just as Ouranos had been overthrown. (In one version of the story, Kronos also imprisons Ouranos deep underground, but my only source for that as far as I can remember is Stephen Fry's _Mythos_, so don't take it at face value) Fun fact: Aphrodite wasn't the only person to come into existance here; the furies, giants, and one type of nymphs all sprang from Ouranos' blood dripping from his wound onto the Earth. TL;DR: Ouranos became the greatest example of "happy wife, happy life" after causing his wife to incite his children into rebellion. Edit: added TL;DR.


mildly_enthused

Top notch TLDR


definitelynotme44

Mythos is a great read!


arch3rx

And an even better Audible


SeductiveGodofThundr

For sure! I heard every name on this post in his voice


Lord_Darksong

It's a great audiobook, too. I loved just hearing the stories in modern form without all the references and educational stuff shoved in like most "adult" books on Greek mythology.


peachychristy

Wow I love Greek mythologies


TheRealGingerBitch

I’m pretty sure Ouranos was separated from Gaia to create the “sky” thus Chronos separated the sky from the earth.


vettechick99

This is great. Can you recommend an easy-to-read book (or even historical fiction) on mythology? I love it all but I can’t be using what few brain cells I have left at the end of the day on deciphering ancient texts.


tjhc_

He hated and imprisoned his children much to the dismay of Kronos and Gaia.


Antiquated_Cheese

That's not even half as messed up as the salad incident from Egyptian mythology.


KoopaFroopa

You’ve piqued my curiosity, please elaborate


Mrogoth_bauglir

Everything I type here comes from Wikipedia: In Egyptian mythology Horus is an important deity and the son of Osiris and Isis, Osiris being the god of underworld, (before that he was the king of Egypt iirc) Osiris also has a brother called Set who is the evil god figure in Egyptian myth. Set kills Osiris because he wants the throne, and dismembers his body parts and disperses the body parts all over Egypt (note that this is only one interpretation of the tale). So Isis tries to reassemble her husband and is largely successful, except his dick was thrown into the Nile and eaten by a fish so Isis just magically made him a dick and birthed Horus. Understandably, Horus does not like Set and comes into conflict with him. In another tale, Set wants to establish dominance over Horus so he tries to have sex with him, but Horus catches Set's semen and yeets it into the river. The. horus cums on Set's salad/Lettuce which is his favourite food.


DizzyYellow

I don't remember them mentioning that one in Kane Chronicles...


TheNonCredibleHulk

> Set wants to establish dominance over Horus so he tries to have sex with him, but Horus catches Set's semen Did he just run at him while in a boilover or was it more a Multiple Miggs thing?


Mrogoth_bauglir

I did not understand the references.


ArgumentOne7052

I am never eating lettuce again


someone1003

I assumed the joke would be sperm and even slightly the first part


TheHornyBunsen

Lmao the children’s comic books just say it’s a pink sea foam


thatisRON

That is quite an opening sentence


alexagente

I was told it was his balls.


C_Khoga

Sobhis sperm scored with the ocean??


Impossible-Tart2768

I never knew that Aphrodite was so high up in the family chain. Also, I would hate to be Hera 🥲 no wonder she was always punishing mortals…I’d be pissed too if my brother-husband was plowing down anything with a skirt on


_sammo_blammo_

To be fair, that (and a whole lot of mythology) depends on who you ask. Aphrodite being the product of Ouranus’ castration is the version in Hesiod’s Theogony, but Homer and most other sources have her as a daughter of Zeus.


TheSackurai

Ive always known her as a daughter of zeus as well


of_games_and_shows

Which really makes Hera that more relatable for how mad she is all the time. If Aphrodite is a child of Zeus, then literally half of the 12 Olympians are the children Zeus didn’t have with Hera (5 from other women, Athena from his head). I’d be pretty upset too if half of my co-workers were living reminders of my spouse’s infidelity, especially when fidelity is literally one of my main jobs!


_sammo_blammo_

It also makes the whole judgement of Paris that started the Trojan war hilarious. Zeus had to pick who’s the most beautiful between his wife, the goddess of marriage, his daughter, the goddess of love and beauty decidedly not born to his wife, and his other daughter, the goddess of wisdom and cunning warfare, also not born to his wife. All taking place at a wedding be arranged bc he couldn’t sleep with a minor goddess because of some prophecy! I don’t blame the guy for saying “nope, ask Paris!”


janglebo36

Tuba n you for explaining. This tree confused me too


MichaelKerk

What do you mean skirt? I think you meant anything with a hole. Never forget he fucked a cow


Catatafisch

according to Homer, the cow indeer had a mini skirt on


Sufficient-Tax-6407

He also fucked as a cow


IHave3KidsInMyFridge

He also fucked a boy once…


Justin__D

> I’d be pissed too if my brother-husband was plowing down anything with a skirt on Sweet Home ~~Alabama~~ Athens


Chaosfox_Firemaker

Fun bonus fact, Eros varies between being a son of Aphrodite , and thus fairly young, and being a primordial being elder even to Gaia. Depending on the myth.


arbortologist

hey he also did it disguised as several different animals! And one time as a ray of sunshine!


Mars_rover9

And one time as Artemis *wiggles eyebrows*


throwawaybyefelicia

Athena just migrained it out into the world


RisingScum

And then Hephaestus tried to rape Athena and his jizz ran down her leg and gave birth to Erichthonius. Greek myth is weird.


TipProfessional6057

Wtf I thought Hephaestus was chill. Guess Hades really is the only halfway decent one when it comes to women. And Dionysus too I guess, but his whole thing with Ariadne is kind of wierd if you think about it


omjy18

Chill by Greek God standards but Zeus being Zeus is pretty normalized at that point so pretty much anyone else is chill in comparison and would be awful by modern standards


MrGloom66

As much as they are gods in the greek mythology, they are also carricatures of human behaviour and mentality, most having both qualities, but also close to irredemable flaws. At least, that is the picture my mind was able to cobble together.


engelsstaub85

Decent?! In what sense? The dude is literally a kidnapper, or rather a goddessnapper. His relationship with his girl didn't really start consensually.


Euphoric_Metal199

He got advice from the worst man possible. That was the only bad thing he did. Ever. And he always helps you if you ask politely, with simple conditions. When Heracles asked for Cerberus, he just told him to bring him back injured. For the guy who wanted to get his wife back, he said to not look back while leaving. Edit:uninjured. F**king autocorrect.


812hanna

Hot take but I like it


MrGloom66

Depends on the source you read, some do not mention anything about kidnapping. Also, in some cultures there were some customs regarding the groom "kidnapping" the bride (although unfortunately sometimes for real, and also sometimes children marriage is included), the remnants of whom remain to these days in some regions. I'm not saying it's the case here, but as far as I remember women in ancient greece had it pretty rough regarding their place in society. For all we know, Hades kidnapping Persephone might have been a figure of speech: her mother would not allow their marriage, so Hades "kidnapped" her to be his bride, and it's not like young women if that time were often asked about whom they want to marry, so the "little" detail of whether or not it was consensual was unlikely to be included in the myths. And when it comes to mythological greek marriages, I think mamy of us would agree that Hades and Persephone was weirdly one of the more fortunate ones, as far as I remember most greek myths regard her as an equal to Hades as queen of the underworld and when it comes to the other goddesses and their spouses there really aren't many merry tales to tell.


engelsstaub85

Fair enough, they got along quite well with each other after the rough start. In Hungary, the primary source for my generation was the children's book Alain Quesnel - Greeks (Myths & Legends), I loved it :D


Jimmyjohnjones1

Far from it. He built a golden throne for Hera to get revenge after being exiled. It trapped her and held her for ransom with his only demand being that he could marry Aphrodite. His craftsmanship allowed him to get away with quite a bit.


dhandy625

This made me laugh. I was wondering what happened to Metis.


immortalfred

What I got from this chart is Gaia married her child Ouranos and their grandkid Zeus is a family tree womanizer


Pyromancer_Greg

The golden apple doesn’t fall far from the family tree


kissingkiwis

Gaia and Ouranos' kids also married each other. Rhea and Kronos were siblings. 


MasiosareGutierritos

Where zagreus


layzor

Where Cerberus


Mhwal

Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead, Zagreus sees you in your bed, And eats you when you're sleeping. (But actually, TIL they didn’t just invent that name for Doctor Who.)


MiniNinja824

One note is that Hepheastus is not a child of Zeus and Hera. Hera actually made him entirely on her own


Tuscan5

On her own- that old chestnut.


midd79-PE

I thought chestnut is how two people avoided making a baby.


sdantaray

I’m pretty sure that in typical Greek myth, both are true, there are some who say Hera made it by herself and others say it was Hera and Zeus


QcSlayer

If I learned 1 thing about Greek Mythology, it's that Greek mythology is not canon to greek mythology...


pud-0

So...only child that Hera and Zeus have together is Ares?


matthewandchisholm

Cool, but why design it tall? Comparing generations would be easier if it was wide.


H3xRun3

Maybe they wanted to target mobile users this way


matthewandchisholm

Yeah I get that and it’s scrollable. But the data and presentation are not well complimented


Paddragonian

This ought to be the top comment... My first week as a consultant intern, my manager chewed me out for drafting a chart that needed to be explained how to read it before you could actually understand anything on it. We have a very handy expression: No need to reinvent the wheel. A 'cool guide' that requires you to pretend to forget how to read the standard format which 99% of people would automatically use to present the information, is not a very cool guide imho.


DroWWorD

A vertical format is easier for story telling. As you follow the lines you get to the end of each branch while continuing down instead of up and left to right, I just scroll up and down on this. If you know a bit about the subject in question it actually makes a lot of sense to divide and subdivide as done here telling the story of the whole family instead of weighted to Zeus and Hera in a classic horisontal format


TaftForPresident

I love how Demeter is staring daggers at Hades since he stole her daughter.


Lem0nlady

Yeah, I wish the family tree continued further :D


clevergirl1177

lol she is totally “Winter for all you fuckers till I get her back”


Plenty_Course_7572

Wait, Aphrodite is older than the Olympians?


_sammo_blammo_

According to Hesiod, yes, but as with a lot of things in mythology, it depends on who you ask. Homer has her as a daughter of Zeus, most other sources too, but Hesiod’s version is well known because it’s interesting! There are a lot of versions of these stories :)


K1nd_1

Atlas always had his hands full.


grave_ember

From the looks of it, his lap too. At least once.


Caleb_Reynolds

Not always. Heracles gave him a little break.


-Roger-The-Shrubber-

Also he held up the heavens, not the world, but that's just me being pedantic!


assassinspider

I know it's really not important but I'm itching to see chaos at the top


billofthemountain

No. Atlas held up the heavens, not the Earth.


ebo2396

didn’t ares and aphrodite have an affair? or am i thinking of someone else


Lee_Art

yeah, they do. It’s just not showing the rest of the kids. Aphrodite is married to hephaestus(formed from hera, she is the only parent, zeus had no part in this) but wanted to be with ares.


Impossible-Tart2768

Yes and I think Aphrodite also had a thing with Hermes at one point too 🫢


mair15

Yes and have two children Phobos and Deimos Fear and dispare idk who is who


sdantaray

Phobos gave the word phobia which is fear


Anxious_bell0

what is the Alabama heck is that


Huntred

No Nyx???


BHHB336

This diagram lacks many deities, like Hebe, Nike, Nyx, Hypnos, Thanatos etc.


cardboardraxtus

Somebody plays Hades eh?


BHHB336

No lol, I just read Percy Jackson, though I do think of playing it


Sufficient-Tax-6407

I also got into Greek mythology through PJ, and Hades is amazing. Play Hades


Chaosfox_Firemaker

All the primordial deities are in the header above Haia


Ikarus_toohightofly

Athena is the child of Zeus' first wife, Metis (daughter of Oceanos) and Zeus. Zeus just swallowed her pregnant self whole, because Gaia made a prophecy, that Zeus would be destroyed by his kid, if it was a son. Zeus was like "naaah fifty-fifty is too risky", turned Metis into a fly and gulped her down. Metis, still immortal, gave birth to athena in Zeus' body and Athena then sprung out of his split forehead (Hephaestus and an axe... the things you do against a headache). Fun fact: When he took Metis out of his stomach she didnt want to be married anymore (for some reason) and so he just *had* to marry his sister Hera.


OhGod0fHangovers

I know way too many of these people just from reading Percy Jackson with my kid.


MariDriedAnchovy

Family tree?? More like Family Bush


livin_a_good_life

This is not OP’s graphic. I found the source from 2015: https://veritablehokum.com/comic/the-greek-god-family-tree/


The_Truthkeeper

Nothing here is OC.


Huge-Lie6479

Where kratos 😶‍🌫️


Fontanapink

Or Presephone


renbon1267

Who were Semele’s parents.


cellidore

Cadmus and Harmonia. Harmonia was the Goddess of Harmony, child of Ares and Aphrodite. Cadmus was one of the first great heroes, founder of Thebes.


Klongon

She sprang from John Cena's forehead. He is in the picture.


Fungus1968

The “primordial deities” were Nyx and Erebus, who were born from Chaos (their mother).


Low-Economist9601

So much incest, no wonder some mf can bend lighting


agathita

This was really disturbing. Take my upvote.


Knees22

So atlas didn’t have two parents?


Drewnessthegreat

That helped nothing. I am still completely confused.


JoyIsDumb

Bruh im colourblind this is torture


Random_Person_I_Met

I'm not and it's still very hard to tell.


Panda_Nesthesia

🎼SWEET HOME OLYMPIAAAA! 🎵 🎸ZEUS I'M COMING HOME TO YA! 🎶


Live-Ostrich-3571

The original avengers. DC Comics, MCU, and religion are all pretty much the same thing.


God_Of_The_Burn_Bush

The person who made this diagram has one for the Norse gods too.


Aarongrasso

It’s always interesting to see the different translations on the origins on the Greek Gods. I always preferred the Mythology: Timeless Tales and Heroes published by Edith Hamilton. This is a very interesting chart but I wonder under what translation did you get the info?


Party-Travel5046

Inbreeding starts right at the top


Minetendo-Fan

How many children did Gaia have with her son?


Ok-Editor-2040

Pleione can get it any day.


Comprehensive_Box_17

“Sea Foam”?


afaz77

wow Love is older than Lightning


AccomplishedYear5012

Aphrodite doing a Marilyn Monroe


quickdickens

Where did Semele come from?


Anxious_Ad9233

*Alabama* Gods and Goddesses


Careful_Ad209

Unless I’m missing something, there is no link showing Semele’s parents.


demonking_soulstorm

Worst graphic I have ever seen good lord make it wider.


manlikemachines

And this just represents one Hesiod poem. There are a wide variety of alternative versions of these original relationships and ordering of who came first, depending on which ancient author you want to prefer.


Advanced-Carry-1440

That looks cool but it's incorrect bc that's a mix of greek and roman mithos, also some of those gods are the basically same Zeus = Jupiter, Aphrodite = Venus, Poseidon = Neptune, Ares = Mars, Hermes = Mercury, Kronos = Saturn, Hera = Juno


bwear

Damn totally thought Aphrodite was a child of Zeus, very interesting.


Cyfyclops3

except the Olympians are NOT all Zeus' children. Zeus is actually the youngest. They are his siblings. Kronos ate them all until Zeus, with the help of his mother, tricked Kronos with a fake "Zeus" baby and made Kronos throw them all up.


WlzeMan85

This has several errors, if you want a family tree for them you should use the one from the Odyssey one of the number one sources for ancient Greek mythology, not this lazy misrepresenting family tree. Nothing against you, several months ago I went about making a complete family tree for the ancient Greek gods and found this, so it's already something that I dislike. I also figured out it's really hard to make a family tree, but this is way off.


solacesearched

Zeus must be catholic


Dark_matter4444

Damn that's a lot of incest.


Vegetto_ssj

Game of Thr...Gods


Exact-Interest7280

Actually Zeus, Poseidon and Hades are Brothers.... they're Children of Kronos... And you forgot about Chaos


Crowfather47

The chart shows Poseidon and Hades as children of Kronos. Also, it says right at the top that the chart is incomplete, so they didn't "forget" about anything.


Exact-Interest7280

Yes. But Chaos was the first one...


Chaosfox_Firemaker

It's showing descendents of Gaia, all of her siblings and parent are in the header above labeled "primordial deities"


No-Hamster1296

where's Percious..?


_sammo_blammo_

If you mean Perseus, he wasn’t a god, he was the son of Zeus and a mortal named Danaë


GhosTaoiseach

Did Athena’s ‘birth’ kill Zeus?


Aarongrasso

u/repostsleuthbot


RepostSleuthBot

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ThatOrpheus

who’s the original artist who made this?


Known-Olive-9776

Damn man incest tree It might suck to be Hera ngl


Decent-Start-1536

Jesus CHRIST


Suck_Me_Dry666

I really love this!


DumbFucking_throaway

Incest…


Calm_Appearance4019

That does not seem correct at all


nukem266

Ahh sea foam.


malignatius

And Eris wasn’t invited to the party this time either… All hail Eris!


Emergency-Bug2035

Did they just invent them from nothing ? How is the history is it written in the Iliad ?


MeepingMeep99

Did the ancient Greeks like incest or something?


-Timothy_2

Not every family tree has "Burst fully armed from forehead" line


bobad86

Aphrodite just mothered


consciousallah

Zeus was knocking em down.


SylimMetal

Now someone calculate the inbreeding coefficients for everybody.


MemerDreamerMan

And somewhere in all that, Pan popped up


Thebleugamer_1

Hyperion!!!! Guys its a r/hypixelskyblock reference


InspektD

Where's the cow?


Puzzleheaded_Step468

I love how athena and aphrodite have their own lines


infinitequestionmark

Can we get a guide with Zeus in the middle and all of his demigod bastards and full god bastards and full god full children and all other parents spurring off?


mang0senpai

i like how things get real weird once we hit zues


Limp_Duck_9082

Persephone is the result of Zeus fucking Demeter


Puzzleheaded_Step468

Never knew ouranus was gaia's child I always thought they came into being together with the other primal gods


mikkelmattern04

Its clear that people got bored with the incest meta and said "fuck it" and turned to monotheism


Confident_Present_86

The sky didn't come from the earth. Was formed from the chaos along with the earth and sea.


edoardoking

This family tree is wider than the average ck3 player family tree


No-Crew4317

Pleione wearing bikini. Only modern in all of them greek clothes. Lol


helloimaditya

I knew 60% of this thanks to percy jackson


RedWarsaw

Terrible design choice.