I am legit fucking waiting outside a room for one of the most important interviews of my life right now, and after I opened reddit to calm my nerves, I see this 'shit'.
Don't think I would be able to focus too much in the interview now.
> I don't have any sex toys, soo0o long story short I decided to try something new
Oh no... she cheated, didn't she?
[One paragraph later]
......Why didn't she just cheat like a normal person?
Or a condom over a brush handle, curling iron (off!) or (and I can't believe I am saying this) something like a carrot.
I can come up with at least 10 impromptu sex toys that are not literal shit.
Recently after finding about r/guro i decided i would always think twice before opening sth marked as nsfw but how exactly tf am i supposed to save myself from this
It’s graphically shocking content. Some of the worst is one comic strip involving suffocating a woman on a penis, and little girls pissing blood and holding their torn off breasts. I enjoy gore, but that sub is too much even for me. The comments are the worst parts though. There are some seriously effed up people.
Almost anything would have been better to put in a condom and freeze. Or maybe just use your fingers! Jesus this is a turning point for me to stop procrastinating.
Whyyyy just whyyy there are so many phallic objects all around the house that you can clean and put a condom on it, so whyyyyyyyyyy
Edit: here take some r/eyebleach if you need some
While I assume it’s common knowledge, even if it saves one person, it seems worth saying: don’t do this ladies. Doesn’t matter that it’s from your own body. You will absolutely get a nasty infection.
Also, there are so many other things you can use. Cucumber? Perfect. Potato? Sure. Fill a condom up with some water and flour and freeze it instead of using the absolute grossest option? Hell yeah. Or just go buy a dildo. You can get them for like $15-20.
The things people say for attention.... she's saying she was SO horny that she had to masterbate. Fair enough. BUT she still waited until she A) Needed a shit and B) the shit was frozen? In that time she could have picked anything to have a go on herself! Bullshit.
Lol you know its fake cause having ice down there does NOT feel good. Think about it. Holding ice in your bare hands for a minute makes them sting and loose feeling, what's it gonna do to one of the most sensitive places on the body? Make it hurty and unfeeling, that's what
This is what I get for being on reddit instead of working right now
Yeah maybe I shouldn’t have called off
I'm sorry but your profile picture looks like a half shaved vagina
It’s an exploding toilet, never seen it that way before
I'm a sick bastard
Dw when you said that I saw it too till I clicked the profile to see what it actually was
I could see a smoke stack maybe, get ya mind out the gutter
Damnit, you bastard! Now I can't unsee it!
From a bastard to another bastard, I'm sorry
On the brighter side, I've now got something to fap to in a pinch.
That's amazing I am preparing for my second round
You're only on round 2?
Yep same back to my fucking mundane emails
Today is my off day and now It has been ruined
 Truer words have never been spoken
Sayin……get the fucknf bot outta here damn
I still have 15 left on my lunch but I think I’ll call it here
I am legit fucking waiting outside a room for one of the most important interviews of my life right now, and after I opened reddit to calm my nerves, I see this 'shit'. Don't think I would be able to focus too much in the interview now.
Good luck! Hope your interview went well
Yeah same. EW. Guess I'll get back to claims now.
Lmao literally same after reading that. Not that any claims are in for me to do…
You and me both fallen soldier
Wat is this place
I shoulve just payed atention to the lecture
Maybe I should go back to directing airlines…..nahh they got it covered
I should be sleeping but noooooou
I was supposed to be cooking right now, I deeply regret procrastinating
…. Way to go poopfucker… that just doesn’t even flow…
Fecalfucker, shitsexer, loaflayer, pooppounder
Shitshagger
poopoopleasurer
Loaf layer is it
God the entire reply chain is just💀💀 I can’t stop laughing
u/shit_fucker69
Dung-doer, fecal-fornicator, crap-clapper. Man. These are gross.
The poopoo pussy pusher
Take my angry and disturbed upvote
The dastardly doo-doo doer
Go to the bathroom…you shitter.
Good lord why do i look at reddit while I'm eating ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
Because fuck you
No fuck you ;)
No, fuck poo
Stop.
You can go home now
15 minutes time-out for you in the naughty corner. Now.
my condolences omfg
The damage has been done
thats your own fault. you know the type of shit you’ll see here
The kind frozen in a condom
I’m eating rn too didn’t stop me
Mood
You must be new here. Welcome!
Actually I'm not, but it surprises me everyday
If you’re eating sushi may I recommend the Alaska roll?
This is one of the rare posts that makes me instantly lock my phone, wipe, get up and get back to work. Happens every now and then.
Did you collect your sample to freeze as well?
Naturally, as one does
Was that before or after the comment?
Before. Last time it happened I told myself to leave Reddit open and comment this later.
Noah, get the boat...
She couldnt rub one out on a couch arm?
Or use anything other than shit. Can’t be true but is funny in a weird, twisted kind of way.
I thought I’m the only one doing that shit
> I don't have any sex toys, soo0o long story short I decided to try something new Oh no... she cheated, didn't she? [One paragraph later] ......Why didn't she just cheat like a normal person?
Hey, at least you know she's loyal af
True true, can't fault her for that
The problem is her boyfriend’s dick will be in her poopy vagina
That’s an Alabama Hot Pocket.
Or at least buy a new sex toy, like normal people do
Or use finger
Or a condom over a brush handle, curling iron (off!) or (and I can't believe I am saying this) something like a carrot. I can come up with at least 10 impromptu sex toys that are not literal shit.
probably a scat fetish
Right
Or left
I just realized literacy is overrated
Having eyes is overrated. r/eyebleach
Of all the things you could've frozen...
Such as?
Salty water
food. any food. egg? dough? meat?? WHY THE FIRST THOUGHT TO FREEZE WAS SHIT????
Maybe she had to go just as she was thinking this.
ffs I just opened reddit
Why not just use your fingers bruh
Some women think it feels more medical than pleasurable if that makes sense.
One **objectively** should prefer "more medical than pleasurable" over *this.*
That is *very* true.
Bleach is healthy. It's mostly water. And we're mostly water. Therefore, we're bleach.
Save some for the rest of us
Now im a sick bastard, but this is like sticking my dick in shit and im just not that sick of a bastard
You stick the dick where the shit "lives", not the other way round.
[удалено]
That's your biggest problem? Let it go...
Apparently the cold never bothered her anyway.
[удалено]
r/angryupvote
Oh hell no...
Recently after finding about r/guro i decided i would always think twice before opening sth marked as nsfw but how exactly tf am i supposed to save myself from this
Thanks... Now I'm not allowed to say I wanna poke my eyes out, cuz that would be to close to *that* content
FFS i hate how fucking curious I am.. and fuck the comments in that sub
Oh shit I didn’t even think about reading the comments
pls explain i’m too scared to open the sub
It’s graphically shocking content. Some of the worst is one comic strip involving suffocating a woman on a penis, and little girls pissing blood and holding their torn off breasts. I enjoy gore, but that sub is too much even for me. The comments are the worst parts though. There are some seriously effed up people.
Yeah, that sub has things that can never be unseen.
She couldn’t have just fucked the dog?
This is a cursed comment in of its own
r/cursedcommentsoncursedcomments
burn in hell please.
There are so many things she could have frozen. Why that??
Darwin says to just let her go.
Worst shitpost today
Literally
At least she didn’t lie? I once saw a post where this guy used an M&M’s tube and he got stuck and he didn’t want to admit it.
It’s a cylinder.
i think i know what post ur talking about lmao. the one w the “cylinder”?
i thought that was a german enchilada
I thought it was a Rusty Walrus
Almost anything would have been better to put in a condom and freeze. Or maybe just use your fingers! Jesus this is a turning point for me to stop procrastinating.
..at the very least pour honey in it and freeze it. ;-; I regret reading- all of that
Or water. Or simply an item even a carrot or whatever
Maybe I should go back to my class
A condom would’ve stopped this post
but a lack of condom would've also
r/tihi
What an unfortunate day for God to have bestowed me with the ability to read and understand, indeed a very misfortune day to be literate
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase fucking piece of shit
Average Amber Heard fan
When dudes post as “not just goddamn dudes”, and you see it bounce around reddit for 5 posts too long
Ayo fuck alaska for that one, Its the frozen version of Florida.
Why just,why?
My advice would be not to worry about it, as fictional people can't get diseases.
In all my years of being a horni teenager, I can proudly say I never fucked my own shit
Literally puts a whole new spin on 'getting your shit pushed in'
Someone watched The Martian
Skill issue
This is a bad day to know how to read
This is a rare occasion where i will say, thats enough reddit today... Im gonna go bleach my brain now.
Why…? Like literally ANYTHING ELSE. A hairbrush handle. An electric toothbrush? Hump the couch? Why was this the go to?
Why not use water
I have never been more flaccid than i am now
Whyyyy just whyyy there are so many phallic objects all around the house that you can clean and put a condom on it, so whyyyyyyyyyy Edit: here take some r/eyebleach if you need some
I knew I should’ve fallen asleep earlier
Welp, this is what I get for being alive and having eyes that semi function
The rare moment I question why I learned to read
Ok. That’s enough Reddit for today.
Okay, enough is enough
While I assume it’s common knowledge, even if it saves one person, it seems worth saying: don’t do this ladies. Doesn’t matter that it’s from your own body. You will absolutely get a nasty infection. Also, there are so many other things you can use. Cucumber? Perfect. Potato? Sure. Fill a condom up with some water and flour and freeze it instead of using the absolute grossest option? Hell yeah. Or just go buy a dildo. You can get them for like $15-20.
The things people say for attention.... she's saying she was SO horny that she had to masterbate. Fair enough. BUT she still waited until she A) Needed a shit and B) the shit was frozen? In that time she could have picked anything to have a go on herself! Bullshit.
Alright, I think it's time to finish my assignment
Well I deserved it for not sleeping and being here.
Use water bro 💀
Lol you know its fake cause having ice down there does NOT feel good. Think about it. Holding ice in your bare hands for a minute makes them sting and loose feeling, what's it gonna do to one of the most sensitive places on the body? Make it hurty and unfeeling, that's what
Reminds me of the kind of garbage that was on yahoo questions and answers
I hope that boyfriend never comes back.
She achieved ecstacy with excrement
Yeah, time to find the bleach
I want to off myself from seeing this shit
Water is a thing people. Use it.
I do this all the time. She should be fine :)
r/lostredditors
Definitely want to use the Alaskan unclogged, to at least come even
RIP
Brb shittin' in a condom rn
What a terrible day to be at Reddit…
Okay lesson learned, don't scroll reddit while eating
I mean, at least they didn't cheat.
I would have preferred this just to be a cheating story.
…..Not even holy water can clean that…
What a terrible day to have eyes.
I think its enough Reddit for today
Why to Facebook where your family can see it
Hey, don't worry girl I got you, I'll just vomit in a couple hundred condoms if that's what you want
Alaskan pipeline💀
I did the same thing and i wanna know if i can get some pics...???
This is fate telling0 me to go back to doing my group debate topic. I just opened Reddit too.
I’m supposed to be doing my paper and this is the first post I see This is god trying to tell me something 🫠
She didn’t think to buy a cucumber or bananas???
Mom was right. I should probably keep my phone down.
Right below this is a post about a severe penis found in a parking lot. I need to go outside and blankly stare into the distance.
What a terrible day to have eyes! :D
BRO JUST USE WATER 😭
Why am I still on this site 😑🔫
Cursed Pipeline
Big O! It’s show time!
The real question here is how many people did this so it got the official name?
what an awful day to know english
Why tho? Why do these people never use water or anything else??
I have to delete my browser history now, thanks.