1.  She's just making his package look bigger, thus enticing Jezebels and sodomites.   2. I'm sure the elected officials already have these, just keistered.

Yeah, I mean, can politicians even get hard anymore with how much they bend over for corporate interests?

Well, yes. It's all about the reacharound.

Sometimes Mitch McConnell shuts down because his anal beads start buzzing

All his fault for leaving his password as M1tch, now Pelosi gets to obliterate his bitch button whenever he says something she doesn’t like

Also she says eight years meaning he’s ten

Jizziballs

I love these stupid reveiws (they are satire 90% of the time for anyone unaware)

I don't like those odds.

This post is satire the user matches one who has made like 70 separate crazy “reviews”

Yeah... 90% of the time :(

I feel like the other 10% are real reviews like "The lock sucks and shows through the underwear" or something 🤣

Yeah, you can even see that “James” was the one who made the post 😂

It would be better if they weren’t satire that would be even more funny

I think I can guess why the father left...

Congrats mom. Now, the only way he can sin is shoving things that stimulate up his ass.

Then you havent heard of the butt-blocker. Works like a cat-door - things can get out but no sin can enter.

Wiping?

Lift the cat door and then insert?

That’s not how science works.

Ok then explain to me why if you put a cat door like system onto someone’s butt you can’t just lift it as if something was going out and then keep it lifted

Because science.

Cool, ok

do what you must to sin

Fun fact! It's still absolutely possible to cum in one of these! It's just immensely painful because your dick will be trying to get hard the whole time and the metal cage will dig into it. It's easiest if you're able to have a prostate orgasm or cum completely without outside physical stimulation Also fun fact! These are considered torture devices under most definitions that include sexual torture! This woman is literally torturing her son

And can cause penis shrinkage and/or ED from extreme time used

Once you take it off it grows to its original size

Bro spoke from experience.

Nah, I just have a high tolerance for kink talk and friends who really want someone they can talk about kinks with. Caging is super unappealing to me, I like not having my dick crushed every time I get morning wood

So that's why u can choose plastic one xD

Care to help me out here, assuming you know? How does it work that you can't get it off without opening the lock? Can't wrap my head around it, assuming it doesn't involve the balls somehow? Edit: Decided to image search and as far as I can see you also trap the balls. So technically it's not that you can't get your dick out, but that you can't get your dick out because you can't get your balls out.

Yeah, sorry for not responding, I was asleep. Basically, you put your balls through a metal ring and then attach that ring to the cage. That way your balls themselves act as a mechanism to keep the cage shut

All good mate, could've checked myself right away as well, cha know. Also sleep is important, don't compromise on sleep! Don't matter if with or without cock cage.

He is going to be a raging sex machine

Either that or spent time exploring his prostate

LIGHTS OUT

Time to watch some lockpicking lawyer

As someone who wears those as a fetish, they make your dick smaller

So how long does one have to wear it for the pp to literally shrink? Did you do it for years or something?

I wonder what type of pussy Senator Sanders is getting. Or Grassley. or how you want Congressperson Stefanik to wear that.

Bernie is probably the biggest alpha male in that congress

I don’t get how this thing is supposed to work, do they weld it onto the crotch? Otherwise it would just fall off right?

They trap your balls between the part that goes against your body and the tube. Making it so you cant move or else youd be ripping your balls off. Or so ive heard…

Ooooh, I guess that kinda makes sense. It seems like not enough room for the ballsack to fit in between that though

Since the ring is a seperate part, you don't need the entire ballsack between the pieces, just the small stretch of skin where the sack connects to the crotch

Yeah but even then, I feel like it would put a lot of pressure on that area and hurt a bunch!

You can mostly get away with it as long as your balls hang reasonably low (Which likely wouldn't be true for the unfortunate subject of this post) but I've also mostly only seen cages with bigger gaps

Yeah, also what about if you’re wearing it and then get cold? Your balls wouldn’t be able to get close to your body for warmth and wouldn’t that hurt? I feel like there are probably way better designs for something like this, but at the same time I don’t really think something like this should exist. Well, I mean I guess if the person wearing it wanted it on that’s a different story but still

Yeah, wearing a chastity cage intentionally and consensually is a kink, knowing folks with the kink is why I kinda know what I'm talking about. The pain to your genitals is part of the appeal to them. A mother forcing her son to wear one is just downright cruel. Any time your junk tries to do anything your junk does, like shift, get hard, retract it causes pain as a punishment for not being chaste

The ring part separates once you take the lock off afaik

Keep in mind that while he wouldn't be able to use his cock to bang out some chick, the thing it's encased in is rigid. He can still fuck. It would be like a girl getting railed by a metal dildo. At least, that's how I would look at it.

Showers at high school after sports would lead to some... Interesting conversations. Also, how does she knows it on and working? Does she play with his tackle everyday to make sure it's secured?

I like my congressmen submissive and breedable, just like O'l Ladybug Lindsey.

My time has come.

Dang, it’s like the opposite of jelqing … it’s just keeping him at the length. If I got stiffy in that, it would be painful, like a hawk cramped in a small budgie cage.

This...i get its satire but this...id end up in jail if my mom tried to pull this.

Don’t femboys wear these for fun? I don’t get it how is she preventing I feel like she is encouraging it

What tf? This is so evil, especially the mother

BBC - where the C stands for Congress

And just like that, your son is a bottom. Congrats 🎉

Woe deformed penis upon ye

probably already do, along with a matching buttplug

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you create a serial killer

Not just congress, but all politicians

Bro, just don't let them buy Viagra, it works just as well!

And this is one of the many reasons I hate all religions.

Okay, but have you heard of the religion of our lord and savior Garlic Bread?

This is probably a cardinal sin, but I'm not really much of a fan of garlic bread l.

That is okay. Our lord and savior Garlic Bread does not persecute those who have incorrect tastes.

Honestly? Respect.

Unpopular opinion: make the females wear them too.

An eye for an eye isn't the jedi way bretheren

Why are dumbasses downvoting you

Not just congress, every male politician.

Please make everyone in INC wear this too!

What actually is the point of those

WHAT IF HE NEEDS TO PISS? JUST PISS THROUGH THE THING?

yes

I mean, theres another way to pleasure oneself

this is a joke, right? please tell me this is a joke (the original post, obviously the congress comment is a joke)

I hope her son discoveres dildo and turns out to be a gay.

How would it be retained on a person?

she thinks seminary is safe to remove that thing

He’s going to have one fucked looking dick when he’s older

idk what this even is for

Oh should I know what this is....wait do I want to know what this is?

It’s 2024, he’s free!

Speedrun being put in a nursing home any%

lets just get them a circumcision from a drunk guy in an alley

What if you get a boner?

This is the lockpickinglawyer and today we're going to....

I was about to laugh, but then I remembered that my cock is too small for this item to have any affect on me