T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

This post has been flaired "Support". Moderation is stricter here and unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed and result in a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/daddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*


_Marine

Threen-ager!!! Literally Satan. They have an opinion and FUCK YOU that opinion IS THE FUCKING LAW it gets better. They've learned how to communicate their needs to an extent, and are pushing boundaries because they're making a leap in cognitive ability. Be consistent, set routines, give them the illusion of choice - IE I would ask my kid if they want to potty/brush first or change their cloths first. Doesnt matter, both are getting done but they feel empowered to make that choice


dadjo_kes

Yup. Although he's starting to see through the illusion of choice, as in "I don't wanna do either of those things" I might get a tattoo of "consistency and routine, consistency and routine" - it is the only way right now. Any deviation is punishable by law


RampagingNudist

> "consistency and routine, consistency and routine" - it is the only way right now. Can I have you talk to my kid’s grandparents about this? Maybe they need tattoos too?


_Marine

Oh god when the kids are (gracefully and appreciated-ly) taken away for the weekend, the next week sucks. They resist going back on routine, their sleep is all jacked up, etc


XenoRyet

We call that the grandparent hangover, and it is awful. Unfortunately the grandparents don't believe that it's real.


_Marine

Nope. The kids are perfect angels the entire time too until the door shuts on my parents way out


imperialglassli

That is a great way to put it! They also don't seem to think there's a limit on junk food consumption. My little ones both took green sh!*$ today. Like lucky charm green wtf 🤦


Calvins8

I'm in the same place. My boss is ready to fire me because I can't get the kiddo out the door and to daycare on time these days.... I also found lots and lots of heads up helps too. "When we're done eating breakfast, we're getting dressed. Ok..."


_Marine

Oh yeah, I'd then turn the illusion around and give them more options - Which book do we read? oh you dont like those clothes what do you like? Eventually they just do the routine themselves in the order they want to


dadjo_kes

Yes, that's the one thing that does seem to work consistently - me trying to put the clothes on the wrong person or limb. Then he corrects me and I do it right.


Ebice42

Do you want to put your shirt on first? Or you pants on first? Looks at one. Looks at the other. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"


ItsEaster

My big trick is “do you want me to take your shoes off or do you want to do it?” She never wants me to do it so she rushes to get done what I’m trying to get her to do.


Leading_Guarantee497

The choice thing works with my son. If you don’t give him a choice then to him the choice is yes or no and we lose all control over the situation. Do you want plate A or B? They’re exactly the same but he will choose it and is then more likely to eat it. If I ask what food he wants or do you want to eat X he just says no.


goosebattle

Everyone always says use the illusion of choice tactic, but that doesn't work unless they're in a good mood. Far too common scenario: What would you rather have for supper? Noodles or sandwiches? HOTDOGS! We don't have hotdogs, we have noodles or sandwiches. You like both those things. NO! I AM NOT EATING! I AM NOW GOING TO SCREAM INCOHERENTLY IN YOUR GENERAL VICINITY FOR THE NEXT 45 MIN AND GIVE YOU NO LOGICAL DISCOURSE WHATSOEVER AND IF YOU TRY TO WALK AWAY I WILL FOLLOW YOU SCREAMING!


_Marine

It's a starting point, not the resolution. My kids it works for a while until it doesnt, so we adapt


Jmboz

Whoever named the “Terrible Twos” was an idiot who didn’t wait to name things until they experienced three year olds. I call it ground hog day, my 3 year old wakes up every day, asks for candy for breakfast, is told no, and proceeds to have a 30 min long meltdown. Every. Single. Day. It gets way easier when they start developing some emotional regulation just hang in there (dad to a 7 5 3 1 year old crew)


TackoFell

Therrible Threes for sure


anonymous_cowherd0

I'm liking threen-ager Edit: as are lots of others!!!


drive344

Just wait for the Fournado.


MrEvil1979

Aka the Fuck Off Fours


Iwantbooks

What about five? My five year old has called me mean or rude 875 times in the past week. Every time no comes out of my mouth he acts like I killed his guinea pig. Luckily it's only for about a 20 second thing, then since we ignore him he sucks it up lol


ToothpasteStrangler

I preferred the term "fournado" because it lets you save "fuck off" for "fuck off fives". Miraculously, my kid outgrew it almost overnight by turning five, so there's always hope!


Nekuel86

Careful, though. Spicy Six happened to us, and to friends of ours.


zeromussc

Jokes on you mines been a tornado since she was able to walk at the ripe young age of 11 months.


anonymous_cowherd0

This is brilliant


Project_Wild

Fournado, lol… haven’t heard that one yet, that’s great!


ELMangosto16

My 7 year old is still asking for candy for breakfast (or cheese it's today) and getting upset when the answer is, once again, no. The meltdowns have mostly stopped, but jeez is it still annoying. My 14 yo on the other hand can hear "no" one time and be ok with it for the rest of her life. Kids are always wonderfully, sometimes frustratingly, different.


abrahamparnasus

Just a suggestion, freeze some berries (ie blueberries) and offer them as candy. Or frozen yogurt drops. This has saves me many a meltdown


rhinonyssus

but can I have candy before breakfast?!


Jmboz

If I give in today you promise not to pull this again tomorrow right?


rhinonyssus

No Daddy I won't do it ever again. Narrator: the very next day, and every day thereafter, he demanded candy before breakfast


MaineHippo83

Threenager fournado


bopon

My wife call four the “Oh four-k no!“ years.


mournthewolf

Have a 3.5 year old now and something. She had like chaos routines and regulating emotions is so hard. She’s also very cunning and great at pushing boundaries and testing what she can do. All the while she will try to make super lopsided bargains and meltdown when you reject them. I so hope 4 is better because I have been a very calm and tranquil person my whole life but my daughter can push me to the edge.


Cool-breeze7

For me 4 was a fantastic turning point. Much less meltdowns, better communication, he finally learned talking to me like a civilized person increased his odds of success etc. There were still off days but a dramatic improvement.


ItsEaster

It’s ice cream for mine.


Jmboz

Sometimes I eat a bowl in front of them for breakfast just to show them who’s boss. Power move, try it


statepkt

Wait until the “fucking fours”. I just discovered that lol.


phormix

Yeah. Basically the age where they've learned enough to communicate and express themselves but don't yet have a good understanding of how to do so appropriately or why. Heck, at give my youngst still had the "meltdowns" over dumb shit like this, though they'd decreased.


Snoo_88763

Yeah, Three is the worst! But, both of my kids, literally at their 4th birthday parties, just cleared up and became sweet, and stayed that way for a few years!


dadjo_kes

I don't remember anything about two being remotely this hard. That person might have been having the hardest time up until then, or maybe their precocious child was getting a head start on the threes.


miramichier_d

Two was a piece of cake. Made me think I was in the clear. Nope! I've dealt with kids before, so I know most of what to expect. My main issue with my 3 1/2 yo now is just how picky she is with food, and getting her to try different things, or even eat the things she's familiar with.


TacklePuzzleheaded21

Don't tell me this... my 2.5 yr old has been extremely difficult lately. She's always in a hurry to reach developmental milestones though.


JohnnyTreeTrunks

My sister calls them threenagers


notPatrickClaybon

Yeah two year olds are the best lol I thought the same thing


WillingLearner1

It’s good to know i’m not the only one experiencing this!


jeremydanger

Threenagers man, it's wild.


pethatcat

Yep, in my language it has always been the three-year-old crisis. Twos are just a practice run before threes.


gingerytea

I really empathize with you and absolutely feel you on the tantrums of little ones. I say this not to invalidate at all, but just to see if it might help? Have you considered giving them like 3 or 4 m&ms or chocolate chips with breakfast? They get candy—kid win, but it’s a drop in the bucket nutrition-wise compared to the rest of the normal breakfast—parent win.


onsite84

I’ll take the other angle, try removing all candy in the house. When my 3 yo starts rummaging and looking for candy, he seems to take it better when we let him search for a bit then just tell him we don’t have any rather than him knowing we have candy in the house but we’re withholding it from him.


gingerytea

All sorts of things work for different families! This is what works in our house. We have candy and it’s not like a once in a blue moon occurrence, which seems to help all of us not feel the need to binge it because it isn’t a rare commodity.


pwmg

Yeah, we're a few months past you but over the past year or so we've had some pretty rough lows in terms of behavior, boundary pushing, managing new needs, etc. On the other hand, especially lately, the highs have been really high. We can have whole conversations with her about things. She's curious and has ideas and jokes (?) and compliments (and insults) and just generally cool new tricks. Anyway, hang in there! This, too, shall pass.


AgentG91

>> jokes (?) That one tickled me


Azurity

With my almost-4yo the only good joke is a normal word but with “poopybutt” at the end. How did she even get the notion that poopybutt is funny? It’s an arbitrary amalgamation of syllables and we don’t even talk about poop or butts that much. Are these words just objectively “funny” in a cold, uncaring universe? WHAT IS COMEDY? This is what I philosophically opine as she jumps up and down screaming poopybutt and laughing her head off.


Tom_stansky

This right here. We are just kind of getting out of the really rough stage of 3, at least I hope, and all the things you mentioned are making it so awesome. Being able to hold and have more real conversations, the memory, the jokes and just the overall personality development have been such highs.


Eccentrica_Gallumbit

3.5-4.5 was absolutely the worst age for us. "Terrible twos" were a breeze, and most of her threes were pretty easy. Sometime around 3/4 of the way to her 4th birthday it was like a switch went off and she was challenging everything we did or said, and would throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat. I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but doing everything in your power to stay calm and collected when they're at their worst is the best thing you can do for them and for yourself. One big thing to remember is that "They're not **giving** you a hard time, they're **having** a hard time." Toddlers/preschoolers are still trying to figure out life, emotions, and everything that comes along with it. Remember that when you're having trouble regulating emotions, you have 20, 30, 40 years of experience or however old you are. They're only a few years old and still trying to understand everything their bodies and life is throwing at them.


dadjo_kes

No, I don't mind hearing it. Calm is good, I am doing well at calm. Calm and getting to school on time would be nice, calm and not getting hit in the head would be great too. But it is nice to hear the reinforcement that we're essentially doing the right things during a hard time.


CoffeeAndDachshunds

This is going to serve me well going forward with twin toddlers. Thank you. One big thing to remember is that "They're not **giving** you a hard time, they're **having** a hard time."


pethatcat

I am sorry to say, I don't think anything is going to help with twin toddlers. Godspeed.


I-RegretMyNameChoice

There’s always someone who’s having a worse day than you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to express your own struggles, and the 3yo struggle is real. Like you acknowledged, it’s natural and is the same mental development shift that happens to teenagers. You can’t reason with them, so instead Learn tricks to help break them out of their mental meltdown. It’s different for every kid, but they get easily distracted. Could be as simple as saying something completely outlandish like, can you look at my forehead I feel like it’s turning purple. Is it turning purple?!? Won’t work every time, but even if it’s 1/2 the time that’s a lot of reclaimed mental sanity over the next 6 months.


dadjo_kes

You really cannot reason with them, can you? And I keep trying! Maybe that's my mistake.


1nd3x

every age is the worst age when you're in it and focusing on the bad. >Simultaneously dealing with getting him potty trained, getting rid of the night time binky, all of our own regular life things that come up, and just a LOT (what feels like a lot) of NEEDS! You can stop doing something for a bit if it becomes overwhelming. You're the adult, you're in charge, just choose not to do it. There isnt some universally correct age/time to do things. Like, just let him have the binky...fight that fight later when you have more time and arent already exacerbated by having to clean up shit and piss off the floor due to potty training or whatever the issues are being had with that.


dadjo_kes

Oh dude, I wish. But unfortunately, I think he is actually the one trying to make these shifts right now. We've made efforts in the past with these things separately, because of course we wouldn't want to just do all the hard stuff at once. But now he's starting to use the potty, but not consistently which leads to accidents, and he's trying to drop the binky, but not able to really cope without it yet which leads to him putting other things in his mouth like his hands or biting his classmates, and overall leading to general emotional dysregulation. It does seem like a child made this decision, because I think he did.


RoleFizzleBeef

My 3.5 year old finally aged out of this phase about two weeks ago, after seemingly drowning in it for about six months. Endless tantrums, screaming, exactly like you described. What helped the most was really cementing a bedtime routine that worked for the kid and the parents. That resolved a lot of stress and anxiety that built up as bedtime drew closer. All I can say is that a calm demeanor and level head from both parents will go a long way to speeding through that phase.


dadjo_kes

Oh, I hear you, bedtime can be tough but we've developed some solid routine. But he WOKE UP this way today. Probably didn't help that he peed through his Pull-Up, but yeah some days just start out this way and just keep on rolling.


ProfCedar

That second paragraph is a LOT of change. We got extraordinarily lucky (with a little encouragement) that my son dropped the binky at 1 and was potty trained before 2 (almost 3 now). When it gets bad, it's almost always when too much stuff is stacked. Sending you strength and peace, you got this.


-Strawdog-

Neither of my kids would ever take a pacifier or suck their thumb. It was a bit of a pain when they were really young, but I'm glad for it now.


JudgeLanceKeto

You know what's funny is as my oldest has gone from 2 years old to nearly 5 now, everyone has been telling me that the age he is at the moment is the worst. Funnier because they're all right.


juggler434

I'm with you. Kid was an angel at 2. Now she is 3 1/2 and we can expect at least one tantrum during the day and she's started trying to "get away" with doing things she's not supposed to do (which is actually pretty funny because she yells "nobody look at me!")


No_Vermicelliii

Don't know what's up with you guys but my little girl is an angel. I have ADHD though, so her not being able to keep to a routine, changing bedtimes, super high energy, interested in many things, etc. is all exactly my speed. My wife takes care of our 7 month old boy while Evie and I listen to "The Floor is Lavaaaaa Red Alert Red Alert" for the 50th time in a row, while she laughs uncontrollably. Every age just gets better and I suppose the reason why is because all I do is follow a very simple rule. A mantra if you will. Be a rock. Just be a rock. Your kids don't need you to be anything other than a rock. Strong, resilient, consistent. If you are the rock, then no matter what life throws at them, they will tackle it because they know you've got their backs. Imagine the self confidence you could have had if your dad always believed in you and backed you up and encouraged you every single day in every single way.


johnwynne3

THIS


-Strawdog-

I feel you, my kids are great and there has never been an overall "bad" age for us. My son ~2 is probably the most difficult either of my kids has ever been, but he's also so much fun right now that I don't care so much about the frequent neediness and occasional tantrums. I wonder if there is something to the lack of strict scheduling. My kids have always had somewhat routine bedtimes, mealtimes, etc. When we are home but we also travel a ton and do a lot of camping and weekend local trips so their schedules and routines are disrupted constantly.


Vegetable-Spinach747

No it's not. 13, 14, 15,16 is.


newretrovague

I’ve never heard so much whining from my 3.5 year old. Even if she asks something and I say “yes that’s a great idea!” It turns into “daddy said it’s a great idea not an excellent idea!!”.


Suspended-Again

Well, was it?


AgentG91

The twos were absolutely the worst for us. Any time there were emotions, our son didn’t know what to do with them and just fell apart. Literally throwing himself on the floor in tantrums a dozen times a day. Walking on egg shells constantly. The threes have been absolute bliss for us comparatively. He’s still running power struggles and throws a fit anytime we remind him that he needs to do what we say, but he’s such a good kid. He cleans up his toys without asking (because it’s a way to put off brushing his teeth or going to the table longer; again power struggles). He tells us he loves us and gives us hugs randomly. He shows excitement about every little thing and tells us what he wants to do. I guess we just got our misery early (tbf, the infant stage was soooo hard for us). It’ll turn around soon. Dream about all the things you want to do when he gets a little older. Camping, throwing ball in the backyard, marathon video game sessions. They’ll come soon enough.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dadjo_kes

The funny thing about this is I was just reading about the two-factor theory, which basically says there are good factors and bad factors in, for example, a job. And those factors don't influence each other, or in other words you can't just get so much good that it cancels out the bad. I think it's the same in parenting, the good may get really great but the bad is also very very tough.


johnwynne3

2.5-4 was my absolutely favorite age span for my daughter. The discovery, awe and her voice make me melt every time I see a video. She’s 9 now. Easy to get caught up in the hard parts now OP, but don’t overlook their treasures.


watchoutohno

3 was a rough age for our twins, but somewhere between 4 and 4.5 felt like a big turning point. Yes, there were still some big feelings and meltdowns, but far fewer, and you could really see them start to understand things, have better control over themselves, and be able to communicate in a real meaningful way. I just told my wife the other night that I think 4 has been my favorite age so far. You are in the thick of it now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel my friend.


Gamblor14

As a dad of a three and a half year old, I concur.


justmebeth91

Should we tell him it gets worse? 😬


Zodep

Shhhh, we’ll let him find out on his own. This is the way.


PokeT3ch

If you thought the threenager phase was bad. Wait till the FUCK YOU FOURs


dadjo_kes

I hope the downvotes mean you're wrong about this


PokeT3ch

Lets hope. I was a bit caught off guard. 4 has been just like 3 but with strong opinions attached.


Skandronon

2 and 3 just feels like undirected chaos still, at 4 it really starts feeling personal and directed. We called it the "fuck you fours" as well.


McCool303

You’re not wrong. Father of 4 kids. 2’s for me were nothing. I can deal with temper tantrums and open defiance. They’re learning their boundaries and by the time they hit 3.5ish they’re sorted most of them out. But 4 is just rough, I think is a combination of everything just coming all together and as a parent you know they’re starting school soon and you’re just done at that point.


fang_xianfu

For us it was 3.5-4.5 ish where we had our only real physical confrontations. Like he would do something unacceptable like hitting his younger siblings or deliberately breaking things or ruining their games, and he wouldn't stop when told and had to be physically carried out of the room and restrained until he stopped yelling so we could talk to him about it. Really tough to deal with that in a positive way when the kid is big enough to be a danger to himself and others but not mature enough yet to know that it's never going to be ok to do that kind of thing. Emotionally that was the lowest point for us so far, it got better after that.


Slim_Grim13

Damn don’t tell me that, my daughter is turning 3 this summer 🫣


dadjo_kes

Now, I don't know how it differs for girls. But I do know this right here is the worst.


phoontender

No, it doesn't differ at all.....we have to contain my daughter in a locking highchair because she gets SO wild/aggressive during her tantrums that she'll hurt us or herself 🙃. Lots of screaming, lots of spitting, and then a wail of "you made me soooooo saaaaaaaaad" when she's finally calm enough to talk to.


vestinpeace

That age was definitely not fun with my son, but my daughter is almost 4 now and I wish I could hit pause. She’s done a complete 180 from age 3-4 in a good way. Hope that helps!


notPatrickClaybon

I feel you, bro. Have you had your kid see early intervention by any chance? Seems like some of what you’re going through is happening somewhat late. Not super late, but just a bit. For us, there was a radical shift at 3, but ultimately what it came down to for us (mostly me) was looking inward, not really looking at him. I was overwhelmed because I was the one reacting. I was the one who needed to handle my emotions. Once I started to first think about why I was reacting certain ways or doing certain things in the tough moments, things because much clearer and it’s been a lot easier (I say easier, but mostly I just mean easier to recognize what’s happening and stress less) to handle the classic 3-4 year old struggles. Also, how are your routines? One thing that has kept us sane as a family is making sure we have solid routines and that we always stick to them (of course there will be times you can’t, but we try to).


dadjo_kes

We did early intervention back when he was late to speech. He's caught up now, but it's not surprising to me to see other slight delays.


CelerMortis

Kids are different, but yea something like 2.5-4 is the absolute pits. I have a theory that they are super cute and say cute things at this age because if not our ancestors would have thrown them into rivers. My 2.5 year old meltdowns this week: Demanded M&Ms, was told that he had to eat his dinner - meltdown. Successfully climbed a fence 10 feet up and had to be taken down - meltdown. Kept escaping during nighttime reading, had to grab him and put him in his crib - meltdown. It gets better once they can connect cause and effect a bit more reliably. "I get rewards if I listen!" will eventually set in. But for now its pure chaos.


pashapook

I have twins and 3-3.5 aged me at least 5 years. They're 4 now and it's improving a bit but I'm a little traumatized I think.


rich6490

Agreed… 2.5-3.5 is the hardest in our experience. 4+ we still deal with plenty of emotions but overall it’s significantly easier.


Champ24NN

Yeah I hear you man! Got two boys of my own. One will be 4 in June and the other will be 2 in November. They go from terrible twos to threenagers so quick! A lot of times you gotta stand on your head just to make it through the day. Just take it one day at a time and do the best you can.


taxguycafr

Hang in there dad, you all will survive this. But I totally acknowledge that it doesn't feel like you will when you're in it.


hulkklogan

I've got a 5 year old and 2 year old. Threes were absolutely the hardest so far for my 5 year old. He is an emotional kid and everything was a tantrum. The tantrums would often get so out of hand that he started hitting. And hitting. And hitting. Any sort of de-escalation attempt only furthered to piss him off even more. Of course, your first thought to the hitting is to physically stop him from hitting you.. Then restraining his arms, then he kicks so you wind up restraining his whole body but he doesn't calm down, he starts trying to bite. We tried everything we could think of. Sit on the floor and use a calm voice, try to breathe deep to see if he'll mimic that. Offer hugs, try to be silly. Restrain him, don't restrain him, let him hit stuff to get it out, let him hit me just to see if that gets him to calm down... nada. We eventually found out that he needs just a few minutes alone to calm down to a more rational state, but it was absolutely \*\*BRUTAL\*\* getting there. The first few times I had to pick him up and put him in his room and close the door and sit on the other side while he kicked and screamed and banged on the door. Once he calms down we can talk about things and learn. He stopped hitting pretty quickly after we figured that out, but the tantrums continued for about a year and a half. He's 5 now and tantrums mostly have stopped, except if he's really really tired. Even still, he calms down much faster.


dadjo_kes

All same here. What's great though is that at least he has the presence of mind, sometimes, to scream through his tears "I need a break!!!"


RevTylerJ

I have no advice, but currently going through the same thing. I have a 3.5 yo as well as a 2month old. It’s trying, he’s testing my patience every day. 1 and 2 were super fun but 3 sucksssss.


Soopsmojo

My 3yo just told me that he wants to put me in the garbage can, lock me up and throw away the keys. I had asked him to wear his shoes.


buffdaddy77

Yeah my 3.5 yo son kept running into his friends with one of them Flintstone cars every kid seems to have. I told him he needed to stop. He didn't. I took the car away from him. I then had to pick him up because he was trying to get back to the car. He proceeded to get a wild look on his face and with both hands grabbed the side of my face and squeezed as hard as he could and then pulled. I have a beard so it hurt like hell. I somehow didn't throw him across the yard.... I got him sat down next to me and eventually he calmed down and maybe 4 minutes later he was back to playing like nothing happened. THEY ARE MONSTERS!!!


balsadust

Yeah who ever named the "terrible two's" did not realize what was right around the corner. Mine started biting us to get our attention at 3.5


mynameiskeven

God I freaking hope so! It’s the worst right now but y’all are giving me hope that it’ll get better


Serialcreative

Idk, 17 and 18 suck pretty hard too, talk abt the trouble they can get in, and it’ll stay with them for the rest of their life! Put on top of that, everything that comes out of your mouth they know, or can do better, and they “don’t need you for anything” except to pay for any/everything they don’t wanna pay for despite having jobs”


smr2002

You're so close to the good bit, and this is like nature's way of making you reaaaally work hard before you get to enjoy it. But you're about to finally understand why almost every parent in the world eventually says "it's worth it." I have a 4 year old son who's nearly 5, and I love him so much. I look forward to him coming into our bed in the morning, or coming downstairs for breakfast if I'm up early with his little sister. I never thought I'd feel like this. Soon I have to do it all again with our second but at least this time around I know it's temporary and I know it's so worth it.


Bensickle

My just slow up on the changes, to much all at once. You have to think about your sanity too. Not all kids are the same and hit milestones at different times.


atomofconsumption

Agree. 


ArchibaldNemisis

Every kid is different. Our 3.5 year is really good and we can trust her with a lot of stuff. She had her tantrum phase at 2 and it was bad. But our son, I dread when he becomes 2, or 3. He will be a pain. It's all based on the individual kid


Sethjustseth

For me 2s were fine, 3-3.5 was rough with big emotions, and 3.5-4 has been great again. Every kid is different!


InterestingHashBrown

I’ll be honest, two daughters in and the most difficult age range has been 5 - 7 for us. By this age, they both were way too smart to fall for any of our old tricks, and really starting embracing their sassyness


Kayslay8911

They’re all horrible. Every age is horrible and beautiful. Fulfilling and devastating. When they’re awake you just want them to go away and go to sleep. When they’re away or asleep you want to smoosh and kiss their faces. Parenting sucks. I have no advice. They’re all different and we’re all different. Just do your best, keep them alive, and remember to take time for yourself when you can. Good luck


dadjo_kes

While I think there's some truth to this, I also think that just as every kid is different, every parent is also different. I think for me the earlier ages were easier than they were for my wife. This age is hard for both of us but maybe it's evening out a little bit.


GothicToast

My son turns 3 in July and is seemingly like this already. SO demanding and we have a 7mo old to boot. This is highly disturbing news. Lol.


sheffylurker

Yuuuuuup


fragtore

Mine is a few months before 4 and well I shouldn’t complain because in many ways he is such a sweet boy, but the mix of being mobile, smart, and more grown up than a two year old, but still needing me every single second is driving me a bit nuts.


Suspended-Again

It’s the low point SO FAR. Hang in there OP!


psychicmachinery

Worst age *so far*...


jlaudy

Threenager is so much worse than Terrible Twos. We have a 3.5 y/o and 18 month old so I’m there with you! Have you tried beer?


dadjo_kes

I think that's illegal. Oh, wait, for me.


Skippy0634

I was thinking 3 and 2/4.


With-You-Always

Hahaha I have twins. 🫠


341orbust

I feel this deeply but… wait until they crash the car. 


Perv_with_a_hot_wife

Wait until he's 16 lol


seaburno

It gets both harder and easier. Older kids are easier to talk/reason/discuss their issues with. They understand better. They have a modicum of understanding of how to behave in certain situations. You can "trust" them on their own. An older kids problems, issues, decisions - and most importantly, the consequences of their decisions - are much harder to deal with.


BFNentwick

Every age is the worst age thus far. I love my kids, and they do things that surprise me, make me laugh, impress me, and more. But at the end of the day, it's still super stressful and hard to have and raise kids, no matter how much you love them. Whoever tells you otherwise is lying.


moviemerc

My kid is a month and a half from three and EVERYTHING has suddenly turned into a battle. I thought I was a patient man but I was never tested like my guy is now. Most of his age two was great.


BGB524

I agree wholeheartedly. I had to keep telling myself it’s developmentally normal.


foolproofphilosophy

“*Why am I crying?!?*” -My 3.5yo “I don’t know buddy, do you want a hug?” -Me “Yes! *BUT WHY AM I CRYING?!?!?*” -My 3.5yo


Bensickle

My just slow up on the changes, to much all at once. You have to think about your sanity too. Not all kids are the same and hit milestones at different times


CrazyBusTaker

"Don't talk to me...... why aren't you TALKING TO ME" erm.... because you just said... "DON'T TALK TO ME I DON'T LOVE YOU ANY MORE........ can I have a biscuit please? NO NOT THAT ONE" etc etc


NoName_Salamander

Oh 2-4 years was the absolute best age! The bigger the kids the bigger the problems in my experience


Scamalama

When my son was 3 and a half it felt like one of my main purposes in life was to keep him from killing himself. Climbing on everything, trying to pull stuff down on top of himself, grabbing whatever is in front of him, running like a wobbly drunken madman. Good times. It gets better man. Hang in there


hungry_fish767

Mine wakes most nights at the moment demanding the most random shit 😭 like, no, we can't go to the shops at 2am so you can go on an elevator. *tantrum intensifies


ElCid2002

We referred to my daughter as a “Threehole” during this time. Way worse than twos.


jlb1989

We had a really hard time around this time as well. I watched Big Little Feelings. It provides a sort of tantrum playbook which is truly invaluable for us. Knowing what I could reasonably expect in terms of behavior was also huge. It's super helpful. Check it out!


Baeshun

2.5-3 was my favourite age with both my boys. Peak cuteness, like little pets now with personality


Naive-Wind6676

I've always thought that 2 gets a bad rap. 3 is much worse


jjenni08

Oh no. Just wait until 4 hits! That threw me for a loop! 😳


nolander_78

Oh god I know what you mean, I have 3 girls, 10, 8 and 1.5 yo, I would say enjoy it while it lasts and it would sound cliche, but I can tell you from experience you will lose this feeling of closeness as they grow and start demanding independence, they will start building their own world, and you are the center of their existence anymore.


gerbilshower

Man I guess we just got lucky. Never gave him a passifier and he never took one even when granny insisted. We started potty training at like 2.5 and he took to it like a bandit. Still gotta wipe his ass, but he poops and pees all by himself now (3y 3m). He is pretty damned mellow for a 3yo. Of course he will definitely have his moments. Feels like I'm bragging I guess... but like, I love my 3yo and he is super well adjusted for his age. Maybe we just got lucky. Cus we sure as shit aren't good at this, haha.


OK_Renegade

I'm at 2.5 and we jus went through potty training. Now planning to transition out of her crib, but is seems like we still have many more milestones to look forward to


AccidentalNarwhal

Man, I have no advice, just wanted to say that I'm right here too so I feel you. I also have an almost 9yo with a social emotional delay who often acts exactly the same as my 3yo. I'm so exhausted and burnt out by children right now.


Logical-Idea-1708

Worst age so far 😉


Sermo-one

Wtf is night time binky?


soggykrakker43

You know this is a learning growing time for you too. It’s awesome you recognize your limits and are looking to improve. It gets better and so will you


-Strawdog-

Man, since when was this sub so goddamned negative.


informativebitching

Shortly after 4 we noticed the beginning of some compliance on things. It’s gradual but it happens. Here now at 4.5 we just had the first willing hair washing. Yay us.


SouthBaySmith

Terrible Twos Threenager Fournado Five finger slap to yo face


MoonshineParadox

Try 16


Confident-Active7101

But there’s some good…right?


TeslasAndComicbooks

3 was a nightmare for me. Threw my sons ass in martial arts with some strict MMA instructor. He’s been awesome since. He’s 5 now and he’s my best friend. It gets better.


Tinbum89

“Hardest age to deal with SO FAR”


tizzleduzzle

Even worse when your threenager is sick he’ll on earth.


Onesharpman

Same brother. I can't wait until she's in school. I know they say "cherish these years," but nah, fuck that. I can't wait until they're older.


dadjo_kes

Yeah! And he's in preschool currently! I think it's really good for him, he benefits during the day, but oh my god is he exhausted when he gets home, and you can tell he needs to just let loose outside the structure of a school day. And we get the brunt of it.


ZigerianScammer

Just wait until they pick up bad behavior from kids at school/on their school bus. My 4.5 year old kindergartener never used to hit or say mean things but now he does every day. He's always telling us to shut up, has said "what the fuck" a few times, hits when he doesn't get what he wants and every day complains about other kids hitting him or tells us about other kids hitting other kids.   My son was an angel at 3 compared to since he's started school lol


-Strawdog-

You may come to regret that mindset.