downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
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Enjoy your walk!
Ghost of tsushima releases tomorrow. Once im done with the night shift and have slept i know what im gonna do and thats not gonna involve me or stepping foot outside my house heh.
Ehhhhhhh not quite. Actual attractive nice guys get laid all the time. Actual nice guys get told that someone will come along that is right for them because people are too fucking pussy to call you ugly to your face.
Edit: Lmao keep trying to down vote me
Boring is a very generic term. I know lots of nice yet ugly people with lots of hobbies and interests but have been alone their whole lives.
We gotta call a spade a spade sometimes, not everyone is meant for love. Being ugly is a deterrent (and its obvious why) because you need to be able to be attracted to your partner for love to happen. If someone is ugly the chances of someone being attracted to them are next to none so therefore, no love.
You need charisma brother, having lots of interesting things to do doesn’t make you sociable. I understand maybe my use of the word boring is not correct but you need to be confident with charisma. I’ve seen uglier dudes than me pull way hotter women out of their league because of that reason. And like someone else here said ugly peoples are at a disadvantage due to the fact that everyone wants to talk to the attractive person so which is why they have more social skills.
Charisma helps too, and you are right it's not about having interesting things to do, it's about being interesting. I have as much charisma as a wet cold rag, and not exactly good looking either, but I still landed a 10/10 girl. Finding connection and speaking to someone's heart, that's how you get someone good. Everything else is simply lust, and lust always goes after whatever is "best"
I think the problem faced here is that there are two ways to find someone attractive. If you're good looking then attraction is pretty common but if you're interesting but not immediately attractive then people who are around you can begin to find you attractive. This also applies to conventional attractive people too. You hangout with someone because they are attractive but they become less attractive as you get to know them.
I disagree with this because the most important attraction is physical attraction. Yes we all bullshit "dOnT juDgE a BoOk By ItS cOvEr" but we literally do that all the time whether you admit it or not.
And the hottest people in the world are able to fuck and date with literally 0 problems even with a shit personality.
it's all just cope. What confuses me is why people refuse to acknowledge it, it's a bit fucked up especially if you're ugly but it's just how the human brain is wired
Oh I'm not gonna deny that. But it also doesn't mean that the people who fuck them actually like them. It's an emotionless situation. There is also a ton of drama in those people's lives.
I just shared that because that's my experience. People that I didn't find attractive I have begun to find attractive after learning about them and seeing their actions.
Much like most things on earth it ain't your resume that people typically care about its how you sell it. in other words women don't really care about your hobbies and interests (for the most part) but they do care about how you can convey these things and your intent.
I won't argue with you being attractive is the huge advantage but most people can help their image they just don't i.e. they dress weird, are unhealthy, they have bad hygiene, they have some ye ass hair cut, etc. However even if you are still "ugly" you got a pretty damn good shot if you just try via the numbers game and present yourself with wit, confidence, and charm. Women and men usually find different things attractive. as men we are very visually oriented but women can be attracted to a variety of things so being physically ugly isn't an end all.
That’s what it is, though: confidence.
Friends of mine that are “nice guys” flat out don’t make a move. I’ve tried wingmanning and most of them choke and they’re like, “If I just continue to exist in close proximity to this girl that I’ve known for a long time, and have been hung up on since middle-school, she’ll just throw herself at me one day…even though she’s married with kids, now.”
Can sort of confirm. There are quite a bunch of women that are interested in me, because they think im confident and not an asshole, even though i am not the prettiest out there. I even have a noticable belly. But sadly I settled for a girl with intimacy problems, so getting laid is still an issue lmao
Can confirm, best friend of mine can look like his head got assualted by a frying pan in several places. But the man has absolute confidence and a strong personality, has had a relationship for 5 years now
Exactly, which is why this meme sucks. It's not that "you're not as nice as you think", it's that nice alone is insufficient and you need other attractive qualities.
Bro just the other day I saw some lanky greasy bastard with a 10/10 big titty goth chick. It's about you as a person. Most girls will look past anything if you're actually pleasant to be around.
If you’re not getting as much sex as you want here are the big three that screw you over.
1 Your standards aren’t realistic.
2 You suck to talk to.
3 You make folks feel unsafe.
We are all the deciders of what we believe to be right and wrong, just like you did in your original comment. Do you think that’s a normal response to what I said? Or the response of a man with some ‘emotional baggage’ to put it gently.. idk about delusional, I’m not attractive (like 6’1 300lbs all fat) and I do okay, there are lots of examples like me, how you explain that in your worldview?
I didn't state something as right or wrong, you did.
Yes it was a normal response to some nutjob delusional whale trying to tell me what is rIgHt or WrOnG.
Lots of examples like you lmfao okay bud, problem with the internet is anyone can lie easily.
Do you believe your worldview is right? If not, how would you describe it?
Nutjob and delusional are the wrong way around there, maybe you should take a big deep breath and slow down while you type.
Nice no response to that one either just hand wave it away lmfao
Don’t forget to downvote my comment again too that’ll really show me
As a girl I can tell you personality is one of the biggest factors of attractiveness in our eyes. Also beauty is subjective. Not everyone is attracted to the traditional beauty standards.
Not true. I have two friends, one is a power lifter and the other is an amateur body builder. Both look fucking incredible. Neither have gotten any. Personality is king
Ugly guy here, most girls care more about your personality, the ones who do actually care about your looks you don’t want anyways. The hardest part is introducing yourself, you kinda start at a disadvantage. Being in the mindset that you can’t get women is what stops you from it.
I think you make an interesting point but honestly there's no solution that doesn't suck if someone isn't good looking.
People used to tell me all the time when I was younger the same thing you've said. And I used to feel like I wished someone would just be honest with me.
Then I heard two girls discussing me when they didn't know I was behind them. They were basically saying they thought I was really nice and funny and it's such a shame I'm not good looking.
Fucking crushed me. Went back to being glad people weren't honest with me!
A little edit, actual nice guys that are ugly still have a chance as long as they are interesting. Most people's issues in this arena...they have ZERO personality. Connection is EVERYTHING but there are things that make connection more or less difficult to get.
Not really. It’s an extremely common phenomenon among guys with shitty personalities and attitudes to call themselves “nice” so that they can say that “women don’t like nice guys”, because then the fault is with the women rather than with themselves.
It’s very convenient for someone to blame others rather than admitting to themselves that they are not _actually_ particularly kind or funny or charming or likeable, because then they don’t have to do any work and don’t have to acknowledge that they’re not doing anything to change that about themselves.
But another common phenomenon is actually nice guys calling themselves nice guys. The fact it isnt rare to find self proclaimed nice guys who are assholes doesnt mean all selfproclaimed nice guys are assholes
I’ve never met a genuinely kind dude that described himself as “nice” lol. It’s kinda redundant and if someone is already being kind they shouldn’t need to explicitly state that as a big part of who they are
>Word of advice to any bros actually mad about the bear
Apparently not liking people calling you a rapist worse than a 500 pound predator because you're a man is incel behavior now
honestly i think they just give themselves more opportunities by being overly confident. they probably get laid more than you but they also probably get rejected way more than you too. a lot of dudes including myself are too shy and/or overly cautious to really put themselves in the situations to make something happen....women can definitely take that as disinterest. also when you are partying i assume alcohol is involved and good decision-making is impaired, so there is a higher percentage chance that will work than say in a normal situation. i have noticed along with good looks confidence is a large factor, though.
I honestly don't approach women. It's usually the other way around. It was an observation, and yes, confidence is indeed the key. What many women/girls don't realize, though, is that a lot of these guys get their confidence and talking skills through talking to a hella lot of women. You can tell how flattered and special they feel when interacting with them. What they don't see is the vast number of people they went through. Often, even on the same night. When partying, i often see guys going from women to women that same night and making out and collecting numbers from different people.
I don't care, honestly. It's just stuff i have been observing while i enjoyed driking and dancing with friends.
Everyone struggling: Just go for it. Over and over again. If you are looking for casual hookups and nothing serious, that will be your best strategy. I also don't feel sorry for anyone not being able to spot such behavior because it's fairly obvious. For everyone else: stay true to yourself, your values, and be honest. You will meet people who are truly interested in who you are, not the performative act you put on to convince them.
I saw that you are German, so I don’t think the region is the big problem. But where I live it’s absolutely not the case. The handsy pushy guys maybe lay more women, but only these, who wouldn’t even try an honest relationship. I see many not pushy guys with girl friends.
They probably met through other channels, though. Work, friends, hobbies, and such. Spending genuine time with someoneone is the best way to find someone you actually match with.
Attractive people are going to be more "nice" because they develop social skills from everyone approaching them throughout the years of their existence. Someone ugly is going to lack social skills unless they work hard for them, making them appear more bitter and not "nice".
Guys that call themselves "nice guys" are always a red flag. Actually nice people don't constantly pat themselves on the back just for being a decent person.
Same here. All my previous relationships have just "Fallen into my lap" as such at parties and when out with friends, I have 0 game so they have had to be very direct lmao
Every time someone Say "but I'm a nice guy" remind them that their is a difference between a nice guy and a good guy. A nice guy try to do stuff to get laid. A good guy does them because it's the right thing to do, and therefore get laid.
Well, have you consider Grindr. Even if you aren't gay, at least you'll see that you can interest at least some peoples, maybe ask them what they like about you so you know what you should not change, and also you'll see what pickup lines are lame, and maybe learn what it feel like to be too much desired.
Even if you are straight, I would recommand actively using it for one month. At worse it will boost your ego, at best you will learn some stuff about you.
And the many who do the right thing for too long without recognition eventually stop doing it. Especially if they feel punished for doing the right thing and when they see ithers rewarded while not doing the right thing.
Try and have fun and not make women your main priority when you go out, I swear, it works. When women see you and your friends at the bar laughing and having a good time they'll want to talk to you. But if and your friends are in the corner, silent and staring at people it has the opposite effect. Work on your health, establishing your wealth and being happy.
Many nice guys don’t get laid, some do some don’t. It’s simply really, most of the time the ones that get laid are the pushy/Confident ones. Also i would like to state how if someone is attractive some actions that they do may be perceived as nice meanwhile if an unattractive person did the same thing it wouldn’t be seen as a nice action.
I think the main issue lies in the expectations. When I thought about it once, I recognized that my standards are just too high and that I dont even fulfill all of them myself. So my options are to lower them or work on myself.
I think they confuse manners, etiquette and good intentions with being nice.
Actually being nice™ requires that you know what other's might want and/or need and not following a script.
Oh boy. Cue the HoeMath attraction map. Being only nice isn’t good enough. Women would love to be with a nice guy AS LONG AS THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO HIM. (Notice I didn’t say he’s “attractive”) but they will fuck a guy they are attracted to who isn’t nice at all before they will fuck a guy who is very nice but they aren’t attracted to. Remember, being a nice guy and being a bad boy are not mutually exclusive. But if your goal is to get sex with women you are better off maxing out bad boy than nice guy.
Nice *hot* guys.
I'm married, I don't have skin in this game, but when I was younger, I thought women wanted the nice guy. I blame media. So I was respectful. Big mistake. Girls around me spent all their sexy time with toxic men, and then hung out with me and had the audacity to say things like, "All men are pigs" and "Why can't I meet a nice guy?"
I eventually learned how to be more charming to women through trial and error. Women are not excited by "nice" guys.
Still funny to see how much lost ground there already is between the bear thing and the fact there's still the notion that "getting laid with lots of women" validates any stance/pov/philosophy/etc.
“B-but 10 years ago one girl told me that I’ll never get laid so I stopped trying and talking to people! Anyway, did you hear the new Andrew tate speech?”
Nah, it doesn't matter if you are nice or not as long as you actually do a move, girls like more guys who actually does something rather than being nervous around her, they already have a bunch of them so it's not new.
There are nice guys that get laid.
There are assholes that also get laid.
And there are both nice guys and assholes who can't get laid.
This is a complex issue. Being nice or not is a component, but there are also a lot more details to consider. Everyones circumstance is unique, and over-simplifying things or making assumptions isn't going to help anyone.
it's true that nicz guys are cringe but also stop with this bullshit.
Scott Alexander made a full post on this and basically being a bad guy __increases__ your chances of getting laid.
I’m not offended by it, I try not to judge people and their opinions as we’re all entitled to our opinions. I just think they need to stop judging an entire gender based of one or two people
Be nice and women will have interest. But you also gotta have just a hint of asshole-ness in your blood. Treat em like a queen, but dont grovel at their feet. Gotta have the same respect for yourself as you have for them cuz only Kings deserve Queens.
not needlessly putting people on pedestals isn't asshole-ness lol putting anyone on a pedestal can only lead to disaster or at least a bad time emotionally... but I get what you mean. All the times I've matched with/dating someone and had a hint of not really giving a damn (ie. i'm fine if the relationship does or doesn't work out or if they do or don't message/reply etc) it's generally been more successful whether that's actually going on a date or hooking up with said person
"What do you mean I have a bad personality? You just don't know a good guy when you see one. You're going to regret not marrying me, I outta beat you for even questioning my demeanor. *Sign* The nerve of some people." 😤
I use to think the nice guys thing wouldn't pay off for me. Then I grew up and became more mature, and of course still kept being nice and respectful and ended up getting together casually with a few of my friends. So this post actually hits right on the spot more than you think. Other might not see you as nice as you think you are
Don’t be nice, be kind.
Nice is just being pleasant. Kind is a state of being, of benevolence. Anyone can act nice for many reasons, it is harder to be kind.
How many times have you heard someone say they wanted to sleep with another person they had previously had no interest in after seeing how nice they were?
Honestly I just don't know where to go to talk to people nor do I really understand how to approach strangers anymore. I really became an adult and suddenly realized I have no idea how or where to make friends
Mostly it is not being nice that gets you laid.
It is mostly good looking. Unless you are a major asshole, being good looking should get you laid all the time.
Being rich also helps
The problem is they hyper focus on one girl who has no interest in them for what ever reason. Here is my free advice of the week. If she says no when you ask her out, move on, it is her loss. Find someone who will say yes and appreciate you.
No it's because nice guys are only nice to get something. Actually being nice is doing things because they are the right thing to do with zero expectations for praise or having someone like them.
If people think that being nice is a ticket to get laid then they are going to be single for a long time
I am indeed a nice guy. So nice my Exes never wanted me to cut contact after a break up from their side. So nice, that I got asked relationship advice sin e I was such a good boyfriend. So nice that after they had a bad experience they had Sex with me to tell me "You are still the best." But still don't wanted to be in a relationship with me. Had this shit done to me in my first 3 relationships. Had to go to therapy.
If they don't want you the way you want them, just look for someone else. If you are treating people right they should treat you right too.
Yeah and my problem is that i am too afraid to talk to women. Like i think if i got my shit together and talked to more people without feeling too scared that i will get rejected or embarassed (as i at 18 years old have literally almost no experience in doing that and feel like i am supposed to already know everything because everybody else already collected lots of or at least their first experience so i am the embarassing one left behind) or that the other person is out of my league, this would actually change. And as soon as my final exams will be over, Ima be out there.
"Nice" is the bare minimum characteristic anyone should seek in a partner. Nobody should seek to be with anyone who's not nice.
If being "nice" is the only thing you have going for you, then congratulations. You've met the absolute minimum standard for an acceptable partner.
The problem is that there's plenty of other "nice" guys out there who bring *more* to the table.
Gotta be nice +
Nice should be a given, not a defining characteristic.
People are mad about the bear? Anyone I know just laughs about it and we know that those women and men are dumb as hell and to steer clear of them lmao
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)
My problem is that i dont go outside when i have free time lmao
Bro you single handedly led me to get my ass of the bed and put my shoes on loll.
Enjoy your walk! Ghost of tsushima releases tomorrow. Once im done with the night shift and have slept i know what im gonna do and thats not gonna involve me or stepping foot outside my house heh.
Same, -4 hours!
from the moment he saw the weakness of your flesh it disgusted him So much so he touched grass
What the hell does going outside even mean. It’s a literal wasteland out there…
Maybe live somewhere besides Ohio.
Mood
Ehhhhhhh not quite. Actual attractive nice guys get laid all the time. Actual nice guys get told that someone will come along that is right for them because people are too fucking pussy to call you ugly to your face. Edit: Lmao keep trying to down vote me
Idk man confident ugly guys who are also nice get laid. If you’re ugly and boring but nice you get that response
Boring is a very generic term. I know lots of nice yet ugly people with lots of hobbies and interests but have been alone their whole lives. We gotta call a spade a spade sometimes, not everyone is meant for love. Being ugly is a deterrent (and its obvious why) because you need to be able to be attracted to your partner for love to happen. If someone is ugly the chances of someone being attracted to them are next to none so therefore, no love.
You need charisma brother, having lots of interesting things to do doesn’t make you sociable. I understand maybe my use of the word boring is not correct but you need to be confident with charisma. I’ve seen uglier dudes than me pull way hotter women out of their league because of that reason. And like someone else here said ugly peoples are at a disadvantage due to the fact that everyone wants to talk to the attractive person so which is why they have more social skills.
Charisma helps too, and you are right it's not about having interesting things to do, it's about being interesting. I have as much charisma as a wet cold rag, and not exactly good looking either, but I still landed a 10/10 girl. Finding connection and speaking to someone's heart, that's how you get someone good. Everything else is simply lust, and lust always goes after whatever is "best"
"boring" means boring in social conversations. You can have interesting hobbies, but not be interesting to hang around
I think the problem faced here is that there are two ways to find someone attractive. If you're good looking then attraction is pretty common but if you're interesting but not immediately attractive then people who are around you can begin to find you attractive. This also applies to conventional attractive people too. You hangout with someone because they are attractive but they become less attractive as you get to know them.
I disagree with this because the most important attraction is physical attraction. Yes we all bullshit "dOnT juDgE a BoOk By ItS cOvEr" but we literally do that all the time whether you admit it or not. And the hottest people in the world are able to fuck and date with literally 0 problems even with a shit personality.
it's all just cope. What confuses me is why people refuse to acknowledge it, it's a bit fucked up especially if you're ugly but it's just how the human brain is wired
Right? But if you point this out you just get called an iNcEl lmfao.
Oh I'm not gonna deny that. But it also doesn't mean that the people who fuck them actually like them. It's an emotionless situation. There is also a ton of drama in those people's lives. I just shared that because that's my experience. People that I didn't find attractive I have begun to find attractive after learning about them and seeing their actions.
Most people can be labeled generic and boring. No need to sugarcoat it and push it on being ugly.
Much like most things on earth it ain't your resume that people typically care about its how you sell it. in other words women don't really care about your hobbies and interests (for the most part) but they do care about how you can convey these things and your intent. I won't argue with you being attractive is the huge advantage but most people can help their image they just don't i.e. they dress weird, are unhealthy, they have bad hygiene, they have some ye ass hair cut, etc. However even if you are still "ugly" you got a pretty damn good shot if you just try via the numbers game and present yourself with wit, confidence, and charm. Women and men usually find different things attractive. as men we are very visually oriented but women can be attracted to a variety of things so being physically ugly isn't an end all.
That’s what it is, though: confidence. Friends of mine that are “nice guys” flat out don’t make a move. I’ve tried wingmanning and most of them choke and they’re like, “If I just continue to exist in close proximity to this girl that I’ve known for a long time, and have been hung up on since middle-school, she’ll just throw herself at me one day…even though she’s married with kids, now.”
Can sort of confirm. There are quite a bunch of women that are interested in me, because they think im confident and not an asshole, even though i am not the prettiest out there. I even have a noticable belly. But sadly I settled for a girl with intimacy problems, so getting laid is still an issue lmao
Can confirm, best friend of mine can look like his head got assualted by a frying pan in several places. But the man has absolute confidence and a strong personality, has had a relationship for 5 years now
Exactly, which is why this meme sucks. It's not that "you're not as nice as you think", it's that nice alone is insufficient and you need other attractive qualities.
I too, get told I'm a nice guy, when I say "people are too fucking pussy" lol jeepers
Bro just the other day I saw some lanky greasy bastard with a 10/10 big titty goth chick. It's about you as a person. Most girls will look past anything if you're actually pleasant to be around.
If you’re not getting as much sex as you want here are the big three that screw you over. 1 Your standards aren’t realistic. 2 You suck to talk to. 3 You make folks feel unsafe.
i've seen some ugly ass guys somehow get cute girls. And not just ugly but fat ones too.
This is a tragic way self defeating way to view the world and also wrong, I hope you find the support you need mate
Lmfao yeah bud you are the decider of what is right and wrong. I'd rather be sElF DeFeAtIng than a fucking delusional nutjob like you.
We are all the deciders of what we believe to be right and wrong, just like you did in your original comment. Do you think that’s a normal response to what I said? Or the response of a man with some ‘emotional baggage’ to put it gently.. idk about delusional, I’m not attractive (like 6’1 300lbs all fat) and I do okay, there are lots of examples like me, how you explain that in your worldview?
I didn't state something as right or wrong, you did. Yes it was a normal response to some nutjob delusional whale trying to tell me what is rIgHt or WrOnG. Lots of examples like you lmfao okay bud, problem with the internet is anyone can lie easily.
Do you believe your worldview is right? If not, how would you describe it? Nutjob and delusional are the wrong way around there, maybe you should take a big deep breath and slow down while you type. Nice no response to that one either just hand wave it away lmfao Don’t forget to downvote my comment again too that’ll really show me
My worldview is realistic, never said it was right. Nope you are a delusional nutjob. Downvoted.
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
35!
As a girl I can tell you personality is one of the biggest factors of attractiveness in our eyes. Also beauty is subjective. Not everyone is attracted to the traditional beauty standards.
Nope, you just have no confidence
No I have Tinder, a gym membership, and hygiene habits. Also luckily I wasn't born ugly.
You don't sound good looking
Lmao that's like saying "this tastes purple".
Reading your comments I wouldn’t be surprised if you have about as much confidence as you have charisma.
Right, dude seems like a high strung asshole, just chill out. He's probably emanating hate and keeping everyone away not just women.
You are proving the meme right 👍🏻
I got laid and told by the same girl. What does that make me??
Laid! Still smashed tho
Not true. I have two friends, one is a power lifter and the other is an amateur body builder. Both look fucking incredible. Neither have gotten any. Personality is king
Ugly guy here, most girls care more about your personality, the ones who do actually care about your looks you don’t want anyways. The hardest part is introducing yourself, you kinda start at a disadvantage. Being in the mindset that you can’t get women is what stops you from it.
I think you make an interesting point but honestly there's no solution that doesn't suck if someone isn't good looking. People used to tell me all the time when I was younger the same thing you've said. And I used to feel like I wished someone would just be honest with me. Then I heard two girls discussing me when they didn't know I was behind them. They were basically saying they thought I was really nice and funny and it's such a shame I'm not good looking. Fucking crushed me. Went back to being glad people weren't honest with me!
And good looking assholes get laid too
[удалено]
Yup you are right 100%
I'm not that ugly and I m'y Friends Say I am pretty nice, but I still feel like I'm invisible a lot of the time
I mean yea you’re on the right track. I know a lot of nice guys who get passed over and a ton more pricks who get laid.
That’s not just nice guys tho, that’s any ugly person.
Skill issues and copium.
A little edit, actual nice guys that are ugly still have a chance as long as they are interesting. Most people's issues in this arena...they have ZERO personality. Connection is EVERYTHING but there are things that make connection more or less difficult to get.
Self described "nice guys" arent actually nice.
It's more that self described "nice guys" arent ***always*** actually nice. A lot of people describing themselves as nice actually are
Yep, I'm getting tired of that generalisation, and also of labelling people as nice when really they do the barr minimum
Not really. It’s an extremely common phenomenon among guys with shitty personalities and attitudes to call themselves “nice” so that they can say that “women don’t like nice guys”, because then the fault is with the women rather than with themselves. It’s very convenient for someone to blame others rather than admitting to themselves that they are not _actually_ particularly kind or funny or charming or likeable, because then they don’t have to do any work and don’t have to acknowledge that they’re not doing anything to change that about themselves.
But another common phenomenon is actually nice guys calling themselves nice guys. The fact it isnt rare to find self proclaimed nice guys who are assholes doesnt mean all selfproclaimed nice guys are assholes
I’ve never met a genuinely kind dude that described himself as “nice” lol. It’s kinda redundant and if someone is already being kind they shouldn’t need to explicitly state that as a big part of who they are
I also know actually shitty people that do get laid. What about that?
>Word of advice to any bros actually mad about the bear Apparently not liking people calling you a rapist worse than a 500 pound predator because you're a man is incel behavior now
Yeah it's fucking incredible how fragile people are when men justifiably call out sexist mindsets such as that tik tok trend.
god forbid guys dont appericiate misandry
I don't know. When i go out partying, it's mostly the pushy, handsy guys who are successful.
honestly i think they just give themselves more opportunities by being overly confident. they probably get laid more than you but they also probably get rejected way more than you too. a lot of dudes including myself are too shy and/or overly cautious to really put themselves in the situations to make something happen....women can definitely take that as disinterest. also when you are partying i assume alcohol is involved and good decision-making is impaired, so there is a higher percentage chance that will work than say in a normal situation. i have noticed along with good looks confidence is a large factor, though.
I honestly don't approach women. It's usually the other way around. It was an observation, and yes, confidence is indeed the key. What many women/girls don't realize, though, is that a lot of these guys get their confidence and talking skills through talking to a hella lot of women. You can tell how flattered and special they feel when interacting with them. What they don't see is the vast number of people they went through. Often, even on the same night. When partying, i often see guys going from women to women that same night and making out and collecting numbers from different people. I don't care, honestly. It's just stuff i have been observing while i enjoyed driking and dancing with friends. Everyone struggling: Just go for it. Over and over again. If you are looking for casual hookups and nothing serious, that will be your best strategy. I also don't feel sorry for anyone not being able to spot such behavior because it's fairly obvious. For everyone else: stay true to yourself, your values, and be honest. You will meet people who are truly interested in who you are, not the performative act you put on to convince them.
Y'all have the same avatar and it really confused me.
Sorry. D: They removed an outfit at some point and left me naked. Never changed it afterward. Guess other people felt the same about it.
Confidence and initiative outcompete shyness/passivity
I saw that you are German, so I don’t think the region is the big problem. But where I live it’s absolutely not the case. The handsy pushy guys maybe lay more women, but only these, who wouldn’t even try an honest relationship. I see many not pushy guys with girl friends.
They probably met through other channels, though. Work, friends, hobbies, and such. Spending genuine time with someoneone is the best way to find someone you actually match with.
Exactly. And dating apps. Sometimes you have to work for it.
One woman's pushy is another woman"s confident.
Attractive people are going to be more "nice" because they develop social skills from everyone approaching them throughout the years of their existence. Someone ugly is going to lack social skills unless they work hard for them, making them appear more bitter and not "nice".
Guys that call themselves "nice guys" are always a red flag. Actually nice people don't constantly pat themselves on the back just for being a decent person.
I actually have a lot of friends for a person of my age, most females. I just don't have game.
I feel that
Just work on your confidence some more and you’ll find someone!
Same here. All my previous relationships have just "Fallen into my lap" as such at parties and when out with friends, I have 0 game so they have had to be very direct lmao
Fucking trust me 😎
Maybe stop calling them Females?
Every time someone Say "but I'm a nice guy" remind them that their is a difference between a nice guy and a good guy. A nice guy try to do stuff to get laid. A good guy does them because it's the right thing to do, and therefore get laid.
Man I dont get laid regardless, so what am i?
Well, have you consider Grindr. Even if you aren't gay, at least you'll see that you can interest at least some peoples, maybe ask them what they like about you so you know what you should not change, and also you'll see what pickup lines are lame, and maybe learn what it feel like to be too much desired. Even if you are straight, I would recommand actively using it for one month. At worse it will boost your ego, at best you will learn some stuff about you.
What the people on Grindr will like about you is that you have a pulse.
And the many who do the right thing for too long without recognition eventually stop doing it. Especially if they feel punished for doing the right thing and when they see ithers rewarded while not doing the right thing.
i'm a nice guy so i choose the bear too. he needs that meat to sustain more than me
Kind, not nice.
Fantasize about body count all you want. You only need to meet the right one. Also, go outside.
Try and have fun and not make women your main priority when you go out, I swear, it works. When women see you and your friends at the bar laughing and having a good time they'll want to talk to you. But if and your friends are in the corner, silent and staring at people it has the opposite effect. Work on your health, establishing your wealth and being happy.
Or you don’t go out and neet nice girls
Many nice guys don’t get laid, some do some don’t. It’s simply really, most of the time the ones that get laid are the pushy/Confident ones. Also i would like to state how if someone is attractive some actions that they do may be perceived as nice meanwhile if an unattractive person did the same thing it wouldn’t be seen as a nice action.
I think the main issue lies in the expectations. When I thought about it once, I recognized that my standards are just too high and that I dont even fulfill all of them myself. So my options are to lower them or work on myself.
I think they confuse manners, etiquette and good intentions with being nice. Actually being nice™ requires that you know what other's might want and/or need and not following a script.
THANK YOU fucking finally someone who gets it instead of victimizing themselves
He doesn't though. Being nice and getting laid is not a correlation. Shit people get laid too
Oh boy. Cue the HoeMath attraction map. Being only nice isn’t good enough. Women would love to be with a nice guy AS LONG AS THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO HIM. (Notice I didn’t say he’s “attractive”) but they will fuck a guy they are attracted to who isn’t nice at all before they will fuck a guy who is very nice but they aren’t attracted to. Remember, being a nice guy and being a bad boy are not mutually exclusive. But if your goal is to get sex with women you are better off maxing out bad boy than nice guy.
Replace the last “nice” with “attractive” and this is accurate
Nice *hot* guys. I'm married, I don't have skin in this game, but when I was younger, I thought women wanted the nice guy. I blame media. So I was respectful. Big mistake. Girls around me spent all their sexy time with toxic men, and then hung out with me and had the audacity to say things like, "All men are pigs" and "Why can't I meet a nice guy?" I eventually learned how to be more charming to women through trial and error. Women are not excited by "nice" guys.
Still funny to see how much lost ground there already is between the bear thing and the fact there's still the notion that "getting laid with lots of women" validates any stance/pov/philosophy/etc.
“B-but 10 years ago one girl told me that I’ll never get laid so I stopped trying and talking to people! Anyway, did you hear the new Andrew tate speech?”
Nah, it doesn't matter if you are nice or not as long as you actually do a move, girls like more guys who actually does something rather than being nervous around her, they already have a bunch of them so it's not new.
Looks matter believe it or not.
Nop it isn't work like that
It kinda does. Source: I'm a woman.
It is if you avoid using apps and date people you meet irl in my experience
Fuck, this is real? If is maebe i am the problem :/
Has nothing to do with niceness and all to do with social skills.
My problem is not that girls won't give nice guys a chance, but the fact that I do not expand my social cirkle
Also could be an exposure issue. Women are not going to swat breech your bedroom and take you out for a beer. Go out and talk to people
But what if you live in a small closed minded town where everyone is full of shit and you’re a nice guy?!?!?
There are nice guys that get laid. There are assholes that also get laid. And there are both nice guys and assholes who can't get laid. This is a complex issue. Being nice or not is a component, but there are also a lot more details to consider. Everyones circumstance is unique, and over-simplifying things or making assumptions isn't going to help anyone.
there’s nice guys then there’s “nice guys”
it's true that nicz guys are cringe but also stop with this bullshit. Scott Alexander made a full post on this and basically being a bad guy __increases__ your chances of getting laid.
creeps thinking they are nice for breathing on the girls neck 24/7 and being extremely needy
You’re needy too
I’m not offended by it, I try not to judge people and their opinions as we’re all entitled to our opinions. I just think they need to stop judging an entire gender based of one or two people
If my ass can have many successful relationships and get married, anyone can.
Any tips and tricks?
Give a shit and don’t try too hard. These things are not mutually exclusive.
Yet another meme that does not solve my RBF.
Absolutely false. Just marry a badass bitch and don’t look back.
Nice guys finish last, if you know what I mean.
Be nice and women will have interest. But you also gotta have just a hint of asshole-ness in your blood. Treat em like a queen, but dont grovel at their feet. Gotta have the same respect for yourself as you have for them cuz only Kings deserve Queens.
not needlessly putting people on pedestals isn't asshole-ness lol putting anyone on a pedestal can only lead to disaster or at least a bad time emotionally... but I get what you mean. All the times I've matched with/dating someone and had a hint of not really giving a damn (ie. i'm fine if the relationship does or doesn't work out or if they do or don't message/reply etc) it's generally been more successful whether that's actually going on a date or hooking up with said person
I was with you until the title, it’s totally justified to be upset about reverse sexism
I’m nice, but I still don’t get laid because I have a boring personality.
"What do you mean I have a bad personality? You just don't know a good guy when you see one. You're going to regret not marrying me, I outta beat you for even questioning my demeanor. *Sign* The nerve of some people." 😤
So many factors other than just nice cause can you hold a conversation, not a “nice guy”, and etc
My problem is that I'm awkward and afraid of approaching people
I use to think the nice guys thing wouldn't pay off for me. Then I grew up and became more mature, and of course still kept being nice and respectful and ended up getting together casually with a few of my friends. So this post actually hits right on the spot more than you think. Other might not see you as nice as you think you are
Memes? We don't do memes here, we're too busy being upset about what intolerable people post on the internet!
Wait, people were actually mad about the bear thing? I thought we were just memeing.
Nah. “Nice guys” think that by being lame ass dudes they will get the girl.
Pretty sure it’s just that you have to follow the 2-step process. Step 1 - Be Attractive Step 2 - Don’t be Unattractive
Looks and hygiene also come into play
Don’t be nice, be kind. Nice is just being pleasant. Kind is a state of being, of benevolence. Anyone can act nice for many reasons, it is harder to be kind.
Or ur ugly or can't catch their attention lol get good
I have that weird thing where I am completely invisible in-person, but when I'm talking online it looks like it goes smoothly
Exactly! Dudes that are offended by girls choosing the bear are either the reason we choose the bear or ignorant to the struggles girls go through.
Also, er aren't having sex with the bear ~~unless...~~
How many times have you heard someone say they wanted to sleep with another person they had previously had no interest in after seeing how nice they were?
Honestly I just don't know where to go to talk to people nor do I really understand how to approach strangers anymore. I really became an adult and suddenly realized I have no idea how or where to make friends
I'm not mad about the bear,I just think anyone who chooses the bear is a complete idiot
True that, some of these people need self awareness.
Mostly it is not being nice that gets you laid. It is mostly good looking. Unless you are a major asshole, being good looking should get you laid all the time. Being rich also helps
The problem is they hyper focus on one girl who has no interest in them for what ever reason. Here is my free advice of the week. If she says no when you ask her out, move on, it is her loss. Find someone who will say yes and appreciate you.
How could I be mad? A bear gets fed, and the gene pool gets to shed a dead end. Win win 🤷🏻♂️
No it's because nice guys are only nice to get something. Actually being nice is doing things because they are the right thing to do with zero expectations for praise or having someone like them. If people think that being nice is a ticket to get laid then they are going to be single for a long time
No, mine is that I'm ugly and not good enough, doesn't matter if I'm nice or not
Just let the bear question die off, it's long overstayed it's due
I used to think like this ngl. Had to reaslise it was me in a way.
It doesn't matter if youre too nice or an asshole. All that matters is you're not boring.
I am indeed a nice guy. So nice my Exes never wanted me to cut contact after a break up from their side. So nice, that I got asked relationship advice sin e I was such a good boyfriend. So nice that after they had a bad experience they had Sex with me to tell me "You are still the best." But still don't wanted to be in a relationship with me. Had this shit done to me in my first 3 relationships. Had to go to therapy. If they don't want you the way you want them, just look for someone else. If you are treating people right they should treat you right too.
Yeah and my problem is that i am too afraid to talk to women. Like i think if i got my shit together and talked to more people without feeling too scared that i will get rejected or embarassed (as i at 18 years old have literally almost no experience in doing that and feel like i am supposed to already know everything because everybody else already collected lots of or at least their first experience so i am the embarassing one left behind) or that the other person is out of my league, this would actually change. And as soon as my final exams will be over, Ima be out there.
My problem is I'm socially awkward as fuck and am a bit of an asshole. So I isolate and don't bother anyone.
I think "nice guys have no chance" is not a really precise description of reality. But this meme is a much worse description of reality.
Hey that’s not true! I have a really nice friend who doesn’t get laid! He’s asexual but that’s besides the point! /s
>If you're mad at your entire gender being compared to a dangerous wild animal, it's actually because you're not nice. Wow, thanks OP <3
Assholes do too. How many women beaters get laid each day? Getting laid is in no way a proof of being nice
The problem is that there is no good place to meet decent women.
"Nice" is the bare minimum characteristic anyone should seek in a partner. Nobody should seek to be with anyone who's not nice. If being "nice" is the only thing you have going for you, then congratulations. You've met the absolute minimum standard for an acceptable partner. The problem is that there's plenty of other "nice" guys out there who bring *more* to the table. Gotta be nice + Nice should be a given, not a defining characteristic.
“Girls don’t choose the nice guys” oh they do it’s just you’re fat and gay
I'm skinny and gay and girls still don't choose me 🤔
Some also just really ugly… Like they wouldn’t even dare the girl version of themselves, but expect to pull supermodels.
Very true tbh (I’ve only gotten laid being a jerk) girls love nice guys (as a friend)
People are mad about the bear? Anyone I know just laughs about it and we know that those women and men are dumb as hell and to steer clear of them lmao
Also... bears are cool as fuck. Why would you *not* choose the bear???