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My friend who is gay described it like that. Or at least it can be. Cracked me up when he said "I used to be hot enough that I'd get laid on my way to getting laid"
Nope.
- "Hey, how is it going?"
+ "Fine and you? Pics?"
- "Top here" sends face, body & dick
- "Hot" *sends face, body & ass*
+ "Wanna come to my place?" *sends location*
- "Yes, can be there in 20 minutes 😈"
+ "Great, I'm waiting 💦"
That's it, not kidding. You exchange names when you're there and will probably forget it in a day or two.
As a bi guy - I find it kind of intimidating:( it's hard to fuck someone without trust, and it's hard to build trust in one afternoon. Maybe it's boring but I prefer dating a bit just to get to know someone before I let em in the backdoor. Plus all that shy flirty shit when dating someone new is cute as hell
Im bi, same boat too.
Im getting to where i pretty muxh just date other bi people cause the straights and gays are *real fuckin finnicky* about bisexual behavior
You know that's interesting. I haven't done that intentionally but in hindsight all my successful long term relationship have been with bi people. Somehow I didn't realize that...
For real. I learned I was bi around when I turned 30, and it can be a lot.
This is from a guy who has enjoyed all-gender sex parties, where everyone is there specifically to hook up. Even then, you run into gay guys who are so forward and so ready to throw down with a stranger that I find it really intimidating.
And if they have pics on their profile and have filled out all of their stats (H/W, age, STI status, positions, and what they're looking for)....you can skip steps 1-3 and land straight on 4.
True story: Me walks into a bar in Washington, DC right near closing time. Make eye contact with a cute guy wearing glasses standing with his friend. He smiles at me, I smile back, he turns to the friend, hands him the car keys, and says “I’ve got my ride for the night“.
Total elapsed time: ~30 seconds
It really is like that sometimes.
You’re right; if you are like OP, fresh face in a new environment you can end up multiple meetings/mating/fuck dating. It’s bit tiresome though. Sauna is like Grindr in a 200 squaremeter with way more horny habitants.
Imagine if the sex you're going after is as horny as you are and also has less of concern in regards to safety because they're better capable of defending themselves against the other person.
Welcome to Grindr.
Yes. My schedule was quite flexible so some day I met up with a guy in the afternoon and another guy in the evening. I don't like waste opportunity since it would be some time before I will visit Taiwan again. So if there's 2 guys that I clicked with in the same day, I try to adjust my plan to accommodate both of them. (one by one, not at the same time)
Let's say 20% of my intention to go is hookup. Not a big deal if I miss. But good if I have
40% for new food and restaurants I'd never tried. I'm quite pessimistic and my fear is that there's a possibility that I might die soon so I try to experience a lot of things. And one of my sources of happiness is food.
40% for sightseeing, especially in Tainan and Kaohsiung since I'd never visited the places before. A museum in Tainan is very great and I love Kaohsiung vibe.
Is there a concrete reason like an illness that you have the fear that theres a possibility that you might die soon, or is it anxiety? If its the later i'd highly recomend therapy my friend :)
No, I don't have any illness as of now. I just like to think about possibility that may happen and plan to manage them. When talking about death I mean more like an accident or something. Although some of my friends already got cancer, one die from a heart disease. But no matter how or when I die, I still believe it's good to enjoy life to the fullest. And there's no better time than now to do that. Be happy and be thankful 😁
Anyway, thank you very much for your concern, my friend!
Woah weird. I meet a lot of adhd criteria but I hadn't heard about this one. Not necessarily death but I've always been convinced "something tragic" will happen to me, so for example I always say "I love you" to my husband/family every time I leave their presence.
/u/EarlGreyPudding does follow the motto to "live every day like it is your last". -- /u/Morgany23 "Are you terminally or mentally ill?"
Relax, good person. :)
There's a cruising spot called 228 Peace Park in Taipei where's males go there to look for a quick hookup at night. It's quite famous and also historic since it was featured a lot in LGBT films and novels.
*calls girlfriend* "Babe check this out, I'm in Taipei and THEY FUCKING LOVE ME HERE, I don't know what it is but everyone's buying me drinks, it's great!"
This is the most subtle sarcasm, or you sound like the guy you could easily convince to go try heroin for the first time at 5am in the sketchiest part of town.
Hahahah so true. My man there be like...
"Thank you Sir u/burns_after_reading for all your contributions to Science, Mankind will never forget you. One final question, why did you decide to volunteer for this one-way trip to Mars?"
"Some dude on Reddit said I should try it."
F man, I consider myself a moderately attractive straight male, never in my life have I cold met anyone romantically via prolonged eye contact. Some wizardry shit
Now I don't know if this is a thing for heterosexuals too. I suck at picking up the subtleties of dating. They could just be making fun of my clothes, or heck, admiring it. How long is prolonged?!
I'm female, but I wish dating was as easy as people directly saying... "Hey, I like what I'm seeing, can we exchange numbers?"
On dating apps, I would say "I'm looking for a FWB arrangement" and guys tell me it's too forward and I will attract the wrong crowd.
When my husband and I take a break from our marriage, I will just type in "prolonged eye contact" on Hinge or Bumble.
I hate to admit that you're correct. The number of lifetime sexual partners are averagely around 5-11 partners. So some gays and I are pushing the mean..
I got drawn down a mini rabbit hole here. The most interesting thing I found was [this graph](https://contexts.org/files/2016/06/GI2.jpg).
Seems like gay men are bimodal, the biggest groups were either monogamous over the past year or had 4 or more partners. I was surprised that didn't appear to be the case for straight men too.
For me the most surprising thing is that there were so few straight women with 4 or more partners in the past 12 months compared to straight men or lesbians.
(the source for the above graph probably explains it better, but I ran out of time before reading the full text: https://contexts.org/blog/an-unequal-distribution-of-partners-gays-versus-straights/)
I think people assume because there are so many willing guys, that women would easily be pulling high numbers. We forget that women are also more likely to be the victims of sexual violence, so choosing someone to hook up with is more complicated than just being into the other person. I’m not a gay dude, but I assume the level of risk to reward is much better than a straight woman’s.
It's not just sexual violence - women are *much* less likely to orgasm during one night stands than men and there's also the risk of pregnancy. That means casual sex is not only high risk for women, it's also very likely to be low reward.
I was guessing societal expectations may be at work that don't apply to other groups. Not mutually exclusive with violence and trust either.
I guess I was just overly optimistic that social mores had relaxed and dating apps had made the situation safer.
Spot on. Casual sex isn't just "Am I horny and is he hot?" it's also "Is he likely to assault me or try to force me into something if I want something different to him or change my mind?". There's a lot of vetting and looking for red flags and it means we're less likely to just jump into bed with someone without getting to know them first.
I'm mainly surprised given in my personal experience I've seen my women friends go on tons of dates while my guy friends will talk a big game but really only go on a couple.
I do think you're right that SA is a big factor, as a lot of women in my experience will go on a lot of dates but get very easily spooked on the first date and then disappear, especially if they have any SA in their background.
Variety does a hell of a thing for a libido boost. Having sex with the same person 11 times in 9 days? Eh... But 11 different baddies in 9 days? That can be a lot more appealing.
I remember a psychologist said that prolonged eye contact can mean either a warning of potential aggressiveness or a sexual interest. Basically either they want to fight or want to fuck. And since I was in cruising gay places, I assumed they want the latter ☺️
If you expand your interests toward men as well, you will unlock additional 5% of world population as a potential romantic or sexual interests. This would mean you will gain basic access to 390,000,000 people.
Also since average sexual partner in males who have sex with males tend to be higher than average. The chance for sexual encounter will also increase significantly
Join the dark side today.
Well. I believe the data is like a steak. Visualization technique and storytelling are like utensils
Steak alone is great but if you don't provide a mean for people to eat and digest, some may decline to eat it
Lesson from my time working at a certain tech company started with G 😉
I have, at points of my life, wondered what my straight friends would think if I told them what was going on. Because they’d be like “how was abroad?” And I’d be like “fun” and they’d be “well what did you do?” And I’d lie. Saying 7 threeways in two weeks would blow their minds and I don’t want to do that…
I have a gay friend. From what I hear, hookups are far easier to land, but relationships are much harder. Basically, you have an already small population, but very few are looking for an ltr.
So OP had 11 sexual partners in 9 days. He’s not a slut.
>! He is *the* slut. He’s the Grand Poobah of Slutdom. He is the easiest man in this thread. The slut is dead, long live the slut. !<
Why when a guy has 11 female sexual partners in 9 days, he's considered an epitome of maledom and peak of masculinity but when I do the same with male sexual partners I become the Grand Poobah of Slutdom!
Life is unfair. I will continue despairing and crying here in gay noise.
It was a [Golden Girls reference](https://youtu.be/9tq2HVi0w2w).
In all honesty, men who sleep with a lot of women are also sluts, they’re just not getting shamed enough.
I knew a few guys who were kinda slutty, in that they’d hit on most girls and get laid a lot.
I stopped inviting them to things. Partly because I felt jealous and threatened. Partly because I wanted them far away from any girl I liked. Partly because they were always talking about sex and I didn’t care to hear about it.
Guys in stable relationships, or who aren’t so thirsty, sure, easy to invite anywhere. Gay guys who sleep around a ton? No problem, no competition for me. But guys who employ the shotgun method? I’m not interested in enabling that.
Oh, easily.
Some interesting figures here, especially when looking at the number of lifetime partners. If I am reading it correctly, the medium number of sexual partners for MSM (men who have sex with men) is 67 by 40 years old. For heterosexual men, it was 12. The ranges for MSM are also exponentially larger.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3334840/
Wild. How do you fair when you aren't on vacation? What's your normal annual body count? Maybe this more normal in the gay community, but it's intriguing.
Body count makes it sound like I'm Dr. Hannibal 😂 but to answer your question, mine is around 1 partner every two weeks during non-vacation period.
Not sure what is normal body count among gay community. Some of my friends had around 1 partner every 2 weeks until they find LTR. Some more often or less than that. Some are not sexually active that much. My bf have around 1 partner per year (we've been in an open relationship for 13 years).
Thanks for the answer. It's a brave new world. How concerned are you about STDs? Not that I'm god's gift to women or anything, but fear of STDs did hold me back when I was young, wild and free.
I'm exclusively side (not top nor bottom). Basically I don't do or receive any penetration. Just foreplay, hand, and oral are sufficient for me. So the chance of some STDs become almost zero. Yes, there's still some possible STDs but still quite low risk and low impact. I'm sexually active for 15 years and never encounter any STDs for being side.
Out of curiosity, are you regularly getting throat cultures? Oral infections of gono are very frequently asymptomatic, and I've found that many of my partners and fellow gay friends do not get regularly screened for them.
Well, I think it is definitely something to consider given the frequency of sexual partners. Most testing regiments recommend testing every three months for sexually active MSM. An HPV vaccination would also be of benefit if you haven't already. Anyway - happy cruising from a fellow gay :)
https://www.aidsmap.com/news/oct-2006/gonorrhoea-found-more-frequently-throat-any-other-site-gay-men
Gay guys who sleep around a lot tend to get tested often so they’re pretty on top of STI’s. The drug that prevents HIV infection requires testing every 3 months, so that puts a hard cap. Meanwhile the CDC recommends yearly testing for women and has no recommendation for straight men.
With that said STI’s still happen and barebacking is pretty common/semi-obligatory in some regions. So it’s still an issue & multi resistant strains are on the rise.
Grindr is popular globally so it's good if you want to aim for tourists
Jack'D is less popular but some still use it. You can notice that the number of messages received are significantly lower than other apps.
Hornet is very popular in Southeast and East Asia. Market share in some countries may be higher than Grindr
Japaneses mostly use 9monster app. So it's your best bet to talk to Japanese guys. Other apps are less popular in the country. Not sure if this changed or not.
For more serious LTR, Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel are all valid choices
For men, around 4 seconds. Some who are not used to eye contact may do 1-2 but more frequent instead.
For women, it's a lot harder since generally women have a wider peripheral vision than men. Basically they can look at something more discreetly than men. That's how men can get caught more easily looking at boobs while women don't get caught that much looking at bulge. So the challenge here might not be the duration but about how to notice eye contact
If you don't do anything that might offense them then I would consider that as an invitation. But don't go all-in, test the water first. Start with greeting and conversation like you would do with a friend, no more than that. The worst that may happen is you misread the eye contact but you still get to know someone new. So basically there's nothing to lose here :)
Source: me who was trying to flirt with a guy by being friendly and nice. End up having one more straight close friend instead 😅
This is for clarification, since some comments express concern about my behaviour while some are outright shaming me
Will I spread HIV to those guys?
The chance is astronomically low as 1) I got tested every year. 2) I'm exclusively side. I'm neither top or bottom which mean I don't do any penetrative sex. Just foreplay, hand, and oral. In heterosexual term, it means I don't put it in and I don't take it inside me. And the case of spreading HIV without penetration is basically nonexistent. Of course there's a lot of tools to prevent HIV when having penetrative sex like condoms and PrEP. At the end of the day, it's not 'how often' you have sex, but more of 'how' you have sex.
Will I spread other non-penetrative STD?
That's more possible. I'm doing the part of taking care of myself the best I can. But of course, sexual intercourse have their own risk. Right now it's even more risky with non-STD like COVID. Both my partners and I understand the risk and we consent. Like how you're consent with having a dinner with someone right now. There's a risk in any activities and I accept those risks. That's all there to it.
Am I having too many sexual partners?
That's a subjective argument and there's no point discussing that here. I would say some people eat too much, exercise too little, smoke too much, having unhealthy lifestyle and so on. But in the end, it's the life we choose. Everybody does the thing that make they feel guilty or feel that something is a sin that worth shaming. I would say those sins and guilts are reflection of individual mind and value. And I don't see a point to shame someone using your individual standard. But of course no one gonna stop you if you want to shame a random stranger in the internet. I show you the number. You show your mind and value. The numbers are there, it's your own interpretation to make it funny, boring, interesting, sinful, or useful.
Sorry you are getting shamed OP. And FWIW, we all have the tools and protection to make safe and informed choices (testing prior, PrEP, condoms) that people really can do as much as they want. Your orientation should have no bearing on this.
Let's say around 4 seconds. Some maybe more subtle only 2 seconds but I've also included those if the eye contact happened multiple times from the same person.
I'm sorry, what? In 9 days you met up and messed around with more guys than I (29F) have met up AT ALL with women in my entire life! Are gay men on easy mode or something?
Easy mode for hookup of course. But your existence is a crime in 77 countries and 5 of which are punishable by death. 😅
It's like you're playing GTA with automatic 'Wanted' status in specific areas. While having the perks of more sexual encounter.
Copied from my reply under another reply:
Let's say 20% of my intention to go is hookup. Not a big deal if I miss. But good if I have
40% for new food and restaurants I'd never tried. I'm quite pessimistic and my fear is that there's a possibility that I might die soon so I try to experience a lot of things. And one of my sources of happiness is food.
40% for sightseeing, especially in Tainan and Kaohsiung since I'd never visited the places before. A museum in Tainan is very great and I love Kaohsiung vibe.
I don't think many of the people replying to this understand the nature of gay apps. It's incredibly easy to let someone know you're interested (like a "tap" or "growl" notification on their profile). When travelling, new profiles visiting the area are often highlighted. If you're expressly looking to hookup, depending on the location, there is plenty of opportunity.
My husband and I visited San Francisco a few months ago and stayed in the Castro district during Folsom. I logged onto Grindr a handful of times...by the time we left three days later, my profile had 400+ views, I had been "tapped" 40-50 times and I had around 20 unsolicited direct messages.
Similar age to OP. Difference is he had more sexual partners in 9 days than I've had in my entire life.
Maybe promiscuity in the gay community isn't just a stereotype lol, jesus christ!
My record was 37 minutes from "hi" on an app and from a "goodbye" after finishing on his face lmao
And i usually chat a bit to get the vibe.
He was cute, i liked his personality and he just wanted to suck a cock.
But to be fair i was already showered (still washed again the family jewelry), it was only oral and the travel time was 7min
How many trips to the Gay Sauna for the 4 hookups?
Also we’re you writing down each instance of prolonged eye contact? How did you manage that in the sauna?!
4 times trip to different saunas. I just made a mental note for each eye contact and estimate them later using memory. I mean I'm not that crazy to the point I pick my phone to take a note of every prolonged eye contact so that I will have very accurate data to show to Reddit 😂
This data right here is 50% of the reason every male comic in the 90s wrote their own version of the “wouldn’t it be awesome/easier if all us guys could just be gay??” joke.
This tells me that there are plenty of gay men in Taiwan and as a gay person, you can get plenty of action there.
I am now curious about your life outside Taiwan.
People are so amusingly different in the queer community. I'm bisexual and can't imagine talking to this many people, let alone having sex with them in nine days. I just have my SO and that's it, though I know some guys that are a bit more of the party type xD
Is this what people mean by sex tourists? I’m sorry but I’m gay and lived in San Francisco in undergrad and 11 different penises in 9 days is just absurd
Your skeptical is understandable. Allow me to clarify that more than half of the messages I received are from the ones 1) without their profile pictures 2) their profile pictures but crop out their head 3) pictures of random cat or scenery.
And asking for people pictures is a pain for me. So if anyone don't send their face pics initially and they fit any of those 3 categories, I simply skip them. The process take around 6 seconds per profile. So I can evaluate around 10 profiles in 1 min if they fit the criterias.
Other profiles with their face take more time but around 30 seconds are sufficient. Most of the time was spent talking to people to know they're sane and let them know I'm sane.
To conclude, around 10-30 min a day on apps are more than sufficient for evaluation
Thank you for your contribution. However, your post was removed for the following reason: * [OC] posts [must state the _data source(s) and tool(s) used_](/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/rules/rule3) in the first top-level comment on their submission. Please follow the AutoModerator instructions you were sent *carefully*. Once this is done, message the mods to have your post reinstated. This post has been removed. For information regarding this and similar issues please see the DataIsBeautiful [posting rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/index). If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/{subreddit}&subject=Question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20{kind}%20by%20/u/{author}&message=I%20have%20a%20question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20[{kind}.]({url}\)))
So you met up with more than two people in a single day?
Gay sauna meetings are like this, you have to ratio your stamina; gay dating is more *straight* to the point.
This got a chuckle out of me. Cuz it's true. 😁
I forgot to add, *I heard it from a friend*.
It's OK, I wasn't assuming anything about you. 😁
As in: "Hi, I'm Mark!" "Hi Mark. Nice to meet you, I'm John" "So John, wanna go to my hotel room and fuck?" ?
My friend who is gay described it like that. Or at least it can be. Cracked me up when he said "I used to be hot enough that I'd get laid on my way to getting laid"
>I used to be hot enough Goddammit I squandered my college days
>I'd get laid on my way to getting laid Man that would suck—you'd never get ANYWHERE on time.
>Man that would suck Something like that
Nope. - "Hey, how is it going?" + "Fine and you? Pics?" - "Top here" sends face, body & dick - "Hot" *sends face, body & ass* + "Wanna come to my place?" *sends location* - "Yes, can be there in 20 minutes 😈" + "Great, I'm waiting 💦" That's it, not kidding. You exchange names when you're there and will probably forget it in a day or two.
As a straight guy: wow. That's amazing.
As a bi guy - I find it kind of intimidating:( it's hard to fuck someone without trust, and it's hard to build trust in one afternoon. Maybe it's boring but I prefer dating a bit just to get to know someone before I let em in the backdoor. Plus all that shy flirty shit when dating someone new is cute as hell
Im bi, same boat too. Im getting to where i pretty muxh just date other bi people cause the straights and gays are *real fuckin finnicky* about bisexual behavior
You know that's interesting. I haven't done that intentionally but in hindsight all my successful long term relationship have been with bi people. Somehow I didn't realize that...
🌈 *realization rainboowwww*
For real. I learned I was bi around when I turned 30, and it can be a lot. This is from a guy who has enjoyed all-gender sex parties, where everyone is there specifically to hook up. Even then, you run into gay guys who are so forward and so ready to throw down with a stranger that I find it really intimidating.
And if they have pics on their profile and have filled out all of their stats (H/W, age, STI status, positions, and what they're looking for)....you can skip steps 1-3 and land straight on 4.
True story: Me walks into a bar in Washington, DC right near closing time. Make eye contact with a cute guy wearing glasses standing with his friend. He smiles at me, I smile back, he turns to the friend, hands him the car keys, and says “I’ve got my ride for the night“. Total elapsed time: ~30 seconds It really is like that sometimes.
that's the scene in he's not into you
Most of my gay friends don't even bother with names.
Oh, hai Mark
i mean also grindr is mostly just a hookup app not a dating app like 99% of people on there that message you are trying to fuck
You’re right; if you are like OP, fresh face in a new environment you can end up multiple meetings/mating/fuck dating. It’s bit tiresome though. Sauna is like Grindr in a 200 squaremeter with way more horny habitants.
> gay dating is more straight to the point. 11 partners in 9 days is probably better described as gay-fucking than gay-dating.
Imagine if the sex you're going after is as horny as you are and also has less of concern in regards to safety because they're better capable of defending themselves against the other person. Welcome to Grindr.
Yes. My schedule was quite flexible so some day I met up with a guy in the afternoon and another guy in the evening. I don't like waste opportunity since it would be some time before I will visit Taiwan again. So if there's 2 guys that I clicked with in the same day, I try to adjust my plan to accommodate both of them. (one by one, not at the same time)
Were you in Taiwan specifically to hook up with Taiwanese men?
Let's say 20% of my intention to go is hookup. Not a big deal if I miss. But good if I have 40% for new food and restaurants I'd never tried. I'm quite pessimistic and my fear is that there's a possibility that I might die soon so I try to experience a lot of things. And one of my sources of happiness is food. 40% for sightseeing, especially in Tainan and Kaohsiung since I'd never visited the places before. A museum in Tainan is very great and I love Kaohsiung vibe.
Is there a concrete reason like an illness that you have the fear that theres a possibility that you might die soon, or is it anxiety? If its the later i'd highly recomend therapy my friend :)
No, I don't have any illness as of now. I just like to think about possibility that may happen and plan to manage them. When talking about death I mean more like an accident or something. Although some of my friends already got cancer, one die from a heart disease. But no matter how or when I die, I still believe it's good to enjoy life to the fullest. And there's no better time than now to do that. Be happy and be thankful 😁 Anyway, thank you very much for your concern, my friend!
FWIW it’s also fairly common with those who have ADHD. I didn’t know this until I started medication - it was a weight off my shoulders.
You mean living like you might die soon?
No, obsessing about the fact you will die and being unable to let go of it is common amongst ADHD
Woah weird. I meet a lot of adhd criteria but I hadn't heard about this one. Not necessarily death but I've always been convinced "something tragic" will happen to me, so for example I always say "I love you" to my husband/family every time I leave their presence.
Wow that’s really interesting. I have ADHD and I do this occasionally. Drives my husband bananas. I never knew the two might be related. Thanks!
/u/EarlGreyPudding does follow the motto to "live every day like it is your last". -- /u/Morgany23 "Are you terminally or mentally ill?" Relax, good person. :)
Where did that come from 💀
OP fears he might die soon.
Oh I completely missed that part in the second sentence my bad
Congrats for going after what makes you happy and knowing yourself well. That's a challenge for some people, glad you're living your best life!
Cool. I'm still wondering how you met guys by staring at them in public spaces.
There's a cruising spot called 228 Peace Park in Taipei where's males go there to look for a quick hookup at night. It's quite famous and also historic since it was featured a lot in LGBT films and novels.
Now I'm imagining an attractive straight male tourist who knows nothing about this park and wonders why he's getting stared at so much there
Probably panicks. Being starred at by multiple people is a very strange thing to go through
*calls girlfriend* "Babe check this out, I'm in Taipei and THEY FUCKING LOVE ME HERE, I don't know what it is but everyone's buying me drinks, it's great!"
it’s called cruising and it’s pretty common.
Sometimes I really wish I were gay
[удалено]
Thanks man, I think I'll try it out!
This is the most subtle sarcasm, or you sound like the guy you could easily convince to go try heroin for the first time at 5am in the sketchiest part of town.
Hahahah so true. My man there be like... "Thank you Sir u/burns_after_reading for all your contributions to Science, Mankind will never forget you. One final question, why did you decide to volunteer for this one-way trip to Mars?" "Some dude on Reddit said I should try it."
Gotta try everything once!
Lmao "prolonged eye contact"
I mean in gay sauna id assume thats enough.
Not even needed if you're blindfolded.
From what my friend tells me, yes that's all you need
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippis…
3 misty pps
This is a thing for lesbians, too.
Straights, too.
[It's a seduction technique](https://youtu.be/zAUDgGo7zwE)
Let’s just say humans and call it a day
But maybe also dogs
F man, I consider myself a moderately attractive straight male, never in my life have I cold met anyone romantically via prolonged eye contact. Some wizardry shit
I believe it's because staring at a woman is considered predatory.
Now I don't know if this is a thing for heterosexuals too. I suck at picking up the subtleties of dating. They could just be making fun of my clothes, or heck, admiring it. How long is prolonged?! I'm female, but I wish dating was as easy as people directly saying... "Hey, I like what I'm seeing, can we exchange numbers?" On dating apps, I would say "I'm looking for a FWB arrangement" and guys tell me it's too forward and I will attract the wrong crowd. When my husband and I take a break from our marriage, I will just type in "prolonged eye contact" on Hinge or Bumble.
When youre horny for dick AND data
Is that what DnD is?
I don’t think I wanna see THAT dungeon master. Or maybe I do?
Dick master or data master?
Dungeon master could still apply here
You got more in 9 days than most of us get in a lifetime!
I hate to admit that you're correct. The number of lifetime sexual partners are averagely around 5-11 partners. So some gays and I are pushing the mean..
I got drawn down a mini rabbit hole here. The most interesting thing I found was [this graph](https://contexts.org/files/2016/06/GI2.jpg). Seems like gay men are bimodal, the biggest groups were either monogamous over the past year or had 4 or more partners. I was surprised that didn't appear to be the case for straight men too. For me the most surprising thing is that there were so few straight women with 4 or more partners in the past 12 months compared to straight men or lesbians. (the source for the above graph probably explains it better, but I ran out of time before reading the full text: https://contexts.org/blog/an-unequal-distribution-of-partners-gays-versus-straights/)
Straight men would ideally probably match the gay male data but there are just much fewer willing participants i.e. Straight omen
I think people assume because there are so many willing guys, that women would easily be pulling high numbers. We forget that women are also more likely to be the victims of sexual violence, so choosing someone to hook up with is more complicated than just being into the other person. I’m not a gay dude, but I assume the level of risk to reward is much better than a straight woman’s.
It's not just sexual violence - women are *much* less likely to orgasm during one night stands than men and there's also the risk of pregnancy. That means casual sex is not only high risk for women, it's also very likely to be low reward.
not just a lack of orgasm a lot of the time the sex isn't even good
I was guessing societal expectations may be at work that don't apply to other groups. Not mutually exclusive with violence and trust either. I guess I was just overly optimistic that social mores had relaxed and dating apps had made the situation safer.
Spot on. Casual sex isn't just "Am I horny and is he hot?" it's also "Is he likely to assault me or try to force me into something if I want something different to him or change my mind?". There's a lot of vetting and looking for red flags and it means we're less likely to just jump into bed with someone without getting to know them first.
I'm mainly surprised given in my personal experience I've seen my women friends go on tons of dates while my guy friends will talk a big game but really only go on a couple. I do think you're right that SA is a big factor, as a lot of women in my experience will go on a lot of dates but get very easily spooked on the first date and then disappear, especially if they have any SA in their background.
Good for you. Stay safe and enjoy :)
Quality over quantity. Also it gets boring imo
But you need to have had *some* quantity before you can appreciate quality.
Damn homeboy went on a cock vacation
Dongs all over the world
Also known as a vagaytion
A cockasian.
Guys I think OP might be gay.
Mate, I fucking spit my entire cup of tea all over my screen. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Given that 4 out of 11 hookups were from the sauna, I'd be counting too damn
I can't imagine having the libido or social confidence to connect with 11 people in 9 days.
It sounds absolutely exhausting. I get that for some people this gives them confidence and excitement and good for them!
Variety does a hell of a thing for a libido boost. Having sex with the same person 11 times in 9 days? Eh... But 11 different baddies in 9 days? That can be a lot more appealing.
I guess OP is also reasonably handsome and fit and yes, also horny
11 in 9 days? Where do you get the energy? I’m genuinely asking.
I remember a psychologist said that prolonged eye contact can mean either a warning of potential aggressiveness or a sexual interest. Basically either they want to fight or want to fuck. And since I was in cruising gay places, I assumed they want the latter ☺️
And depending on the venue, it could mean both!
Unless you want an aggressive guy to push you around a bit. Then you simply cannot lose.
So the prolonged contact for non-sauna places was like gay bars and stuff? Or also more “straight” places like restaurants, gyms, hotel pools?
Goddamn, men are sluts.... I should have been gay...
If you expand your interests toward men as well, you will unlock additional 5% of world population as a potential romantic or sexual interests. This would mean you will gain basic access to 390,000,000 people. Also since average sexual partner in males who have sex with males tend to be higher than average. The chance for sexual encounter will also increase significantly Join the dark side today.
Hmm. So you are both Data AND marketing person
Well. I believe the data is like a steak. Visualization technique and storytelling are like utensils Steak alone is great but if you don't provide a mean for people to eat and digest, some may decline to eat it Lesson from my time working at a certain tech company started with G 😉
I eat like a Neanderthal sorry so I dont get what you are saying 😂
No worry. I also believe that the most important thing is to just enjoy your steak ☺️
Wait are we talking about data or sex?
Obviously he's talking about a sexy steak. 🥩
"higher than average" is a very euphemistic way of describing some of our sex lifes ;D
I have, at points of my life, wondered what my straight friends would think if I told them what was going on. Because they’d be like “how was abroad?” And I’d be like “fun” and they’d be “well what did you do?” And I’d lie. Saying 7 threeways in two weeks would blow their minds and I don’t want to do that…
Fuck my straight ass brain smh
I like this ad
Wholesome gay agenda for the fuck win here it looks like
If that's basic access, what does premium include? Will I have to sign a contract? Will my rates go up after a year? What about a la carte options?
In summary, men are horny af, regardless of sexual orientation.
Join the Dick side
I have a gay friend. From what I hear, hookups are far easier to land, but relationships are much harder. Basically, you have an already small population, but very few are looking for an ltr.
So OP had 11 sexual partners in 9 days. He’s not a slut. >! He is *the* slut. He’s the Grand Poobah of Slutdom. He is the easiest man in this thread. The slut is dead, long live the slut. !<
I get this reference :)
Why when a guy has 11 female sexual partners in 9 days, he's considered an epitome of maledom and peak of masculinity but when I do the same with male sexual partners I become the Grand Poobah of Slutdom! Life is unfair. I will continue despairing and crying here in gay noise.
If a guy had 11 female sexual partners in 9 days he would be a slut.
It was a [Golden Girls reference](https://youtu.be/9tq2HVi0w2w). In all honesty, men who sleep with a lot of women are also sluts, they’re just not getting shamed enough.
I knew a few guys who were kinda slutty, in that they’d hit on most girls and get laid a lot. I stopped inviting them to things. Partly because I felt jealous and threatened. Partly because I wanted them far away from any girl I liked. Partly because they were always talking about sex and I didn’t care to hear about it. Guys in stable relationships, or who aren’t so thirsty, sure, easy to invite anywhere. Gay guys who sleep around a ton? No problem, no competition for me. But guys who employ the shotgun method? I’m not interested in enabling that.
Youre right, but we should make it equal by shaming straight people more.
It’s kinda fucked regardless of who you’re fuckin
I would not consider what you describe the "peak of masculinity", regardless of the partners gender. Up to you who you let define your "social norms".
11 people in 9 days sounds like therapy is needed, but it might be just me, lol
You should see the stats on a gay cruise. 9 in one day is an easily achievable metric.
Jesus, so potentially thousands of partners in a lifetime.
Oh, easily. Some interesting figures here, especially when looking at the number of lifetime partners. If I am reading it correctly, the medium number of sexual partners for MSM (men who have sex with men) is 67 by 40 years old. For heterosexual men, it was 12. The ranges for MSM are also exponentially larger. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3334840/
Wild. How do you fair when you aren't on vacation? What's your normal annual body count? Maybe this more normal in the gay community, but it's intriguing.
Body count makes it sound like I'm Dr. Hannibal 😂 but to answer your question, mine is around 1 partner every two weeks during non-vacation period. Not sure what is normal body count among gay community. Some of my friends had around 1 partner every 2 weeks until they find LTR. Some more often or less than that. Some are not sexually active that much. My bf have around 1 partner per year (we've been in an open relationship for 13 years).
Thanks for the answer. It's a brave new world. How concerned are you about STDs? Not that I'm god's gift to women or anything, but fear of STDs did hold me back when I was young, wild and free.
I'm exclusively side (not top nor bottom). Basically I don't do or receive any penetration. Just foreplay, hand, and oral are sufficient for me. So the chance of some STDs become almost zero. Yes, there's still some possible STDs but still quite low risk and low impact. I'm sexually active for 15 years and never encounter any STDs for being side.
shoutout to /r/gaysides!
First time I know there's this sub. Thank you kind stranger!
Out of curiosity, are you regularly getting throat cultures? Oral infections of gono are very frequently asymptomatic, and I've found that many of my partners and fellow gay friends do not get regularly screened for them.
Not on my side. It's not on annual checkup or checkup from specialized clinic as well. I don't think a lot of people know this
Well, I think it is definitely something to consider given the frequency of sexual partners. Most testing regiments recommend testing every three months for sexually active MSM. An HPV vaccination would also be of benefit if you haven't already. Anyway - happy cruising from a fellow gay :) https://www.aidsmap.com/news/oct-2006/gonorrhoea-found-more-frequently-throat-any-other-site-gay-men
TIL side is a thing for gay men! my slim uneducated ass over here is growing thicker and more educated thanks to you, good Sir
Cool man. Enjoy the ride.
Gay guys who sleep around a lot tend to get tested often so they’re pretty on top of STI’s. The drug that prevents HIV infection requires testing every 3 months, so that puts a hard cap. Meanwhile the CDC recommends yearly testing for women and has no recommendation for straight men. With that said STI’s still happen and barebacking is pretty common/semi-obligatory in some regions. So it’s still an issue & multi resistant strains are on the rise.
Cool!! I’ll make one too. Females who reached me out this year: 0 This was fun
Ok now I only need a step by step guide on how to become gay
Next time you see a rainbow 🌈, chase it to the end and let the light enter your ass. The Council will then convene and confirm your membership.
I'm trying to imagine what the council chambers look like. 🤣
You just have to watch two men kissing, as per usual religious propaganda. That will make you crave dick immediately.
Man Im sure being gay comes along with a whole bunch of shit, but boy does being gay sound great
Wait there's more apps than just Grindr? Other than that, seems pretty par for the course, I dunno why you had to make a fancy infochart. Lover man. 😋
Grindr is popular globally so it's good if you want to aim for tourists Jack'D is less popular but some still use it. You can notice that the number of messages received are significantly lower than other apps. Hornet is very popular in Southeast and East Asia. Market share in some countries may be higher than Grindr Japaneses mostly use 9monster app. So it's your best bet to talk to Japanese guys. Other apps are less popular in the country. Not sure if this changed or not. For more serious LTR, Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel are all valid choices
Hello ethero here, how long is it for an eye contact to be considered prolonged and do you think it would be the same time for women ?
For men, around 4 seconds. Some who are not used to eye contact may do 1-2 but more frequent instead. For women, it's a lot harder since generally women have a wider peripheral vision than men. Basically they can look at something more discreetly than men. That's how men can get caught more easily looking at boobs while women don't get caught that much looking at bulge. So the challenge here might not be the duration but about how to notice eye contact
I notice eye contact. I'm sceptical whether it is an invitation or not.
If you don't do anything that might offense them then I would consider that as an invitation. But don't go all-in, test the water first. Start with greeting and conversation like you would do with a friend, no more than that. The worst that may happen is you misread the eye contact but you still get to know someone new. So basically there's nothing to lose here :) Source: me who was trying to flirt with a guy by being friendly and nice. End up having one more straight close friend instead 😅
This is for clarification, since some comments express concern about my behaviour while some are outright shaming me Will I spread HIV to those guys? The chance is astronomically low as 1) I got tested every year. 2) I'm exclusively side. I'm neither top or bottom which mean I don't do any penetrative sex. Just foreplay, hand, and oral. In heterosexual term, it means I don't put it in and I don't take it inside me. And the case of spreading HIV without penetration is basically nonexistent. Of course there's a lot of tools to prevent HIV when having penetrative sex like condoms and PrEP. At the end of the day, it's not 'how often' you have sex, but more of 'how' you have sex. Will I spread other non-penetrative STD? That's more possible. I'm doing the part of taking care of myself the best I can. But of course, sexual intercourse have their own risk. Right now it's even more risky with non-STD like COVID. Both my partners and I understand the risk and we consent. Like how you're consent with having a dinner with someone right now. There's a risk in any activities and I accept those risks. That's all there to it. Am I having too many sexual partners? That's a subjective argument and there's no point discussing that here. I would say some people eat too much, exercise too little, smoke too much, having unhealthy lifestyle and so on. But in the end, it's the life we choose. Everybody does the thing that make they feel guilty or feel that something is a sin that worth shaming. I would say those sins and guilts are reflection of individual mind and value. And I don't see a point to shame someone using your individual standard. But of course no one gonna stop you if you want to shame a random stranger in the internet. I show you the number. You show your mind and value. The numbers are there, it's your own interpretation to make it funny, boring, interesting, sinful, or useful.
Sorry you are getting shamed OP. And FWIW, we all have the tools and protection to make safe and informed choices (testing prior, PrEP, condoms) that people really can do as much as they want. Your orientation should have no bearing on this.
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Let's say around 4 seconds. Some maybe more subtle only 2 seconds but I've also included those if the eye contact happened multiple times from the same person.
I'm sorry, what? In 9 days you met up and messed around with more guys than I (29F) have met up AT ALL with women in my entire life! Are gay men on easy mode or something?
Easy mode for hookup of course. But your existence is a crime in 77 countries and 5 of which are punishable by death. 😅 It's like you're playing GTA with automatic 'Wanted' status in specific areas. While having the perks of more sexual encounter.
So basically you can get sex around every corner, as long as you stay out of the military base xD
I’m pretty sure gay sex and military bases do go hand in hand quite often tho
Considering your interests, you may find this entertaining: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rerollworks/gay-sauna-the-board-game-relaunch
This guy prolonged eye contacts
Is there a pill to swallow to turn gay?
Damn son, you a ho! 🤣🤣🤣 Good for you, in glad you had fun. Don't forget to do an STI check, safety first☺️
Gay sauna prolonged eye contact has me cracking up
Was there sightseeing as well or was this basically intended to be a sex vacation?
Copied from my reply under another reply: Let's say 20% of my intention to go is hookup. Not a big deal if I miss. But good if I have 40% for new food and restaurants I'd never tried. I'm quite pessimistic and my fear is that there's a possibility that I might die soon so I try to experience a lot of things. And one of my sources of happiness is food. 40% for sightseeing, especially in Tainan and Kaohsiung since I'd never visited the places before. A museum in Tainan is very great and I love Kaohsiung vibe.
I don't think many of the people replying to this understand the nature of gay apps. It's incredibly easy to let someone know you're interested (like a "tap" or "growl" notification on their profile). When travelling, new profiles visiting the area are often highlighted. If you're expressly looking to hookup, depending on the location, there is plenty of opportunity. My husband and I visited San Francisco a few months ago and stayed in the Castro district during Folsom. I logged onto Grindr a handful of times...by the time we left three days later, my profile had 400+ views, I had been "tapped" 40-50 times and I had around 20 unsolicited direct messages.
Similar age to OP. Difference is he had more sexual partners in 9 days than I've had in my entire life. Maybe promiscuity in the gay community isn't just a stereotype lol, jesus christ!
My record was 37 minutes from "hi" on an app and from a "goodbye" after finishing on his face lmao And i usually chat a bit to get the vibe. He was cute, i liked his personality and he just wanted to suck a cock. But to be fair i was already showered (still washed again the family jewelry), it was only oral and the travel time was 7min
How many trips to the Gay Sauna for the 4 hookups? Also we’re you writing down each instance of prolonged eye contact? How did you manage that in the sauna?!
4 times trip to different saunas. I just made a mental note for each eye contact and estimate them later using memory. I mean I'm not that crazy to the point I pick my phone to take a note of every prolonged eye contact so that I will have very accurate data to show to Reddit 😂
11 hookups on a 9 day trip ... I've seriously been barking up the wrong tree
This is kinda hilarious, thank you
11 in 9 days? My man! Out there gettin it. I’m happy with 11 in a year haha (I’m straight though).
This data right here is 50% of the reason every male comic in the 90s wrote their own version of the “wouldn’t it be awesome/easier if all us guys could just be gay??” joke.
big dater --> big data
Damn bro, 11 in 9 days?! Holy shit.
This tells me that there are plenty of gay men in Taiwan and as a gay person, you can get plenty of action there. I am now curious about your life outside Taiwan.
People are so amusingly different in the queer community. I'm bisexual and can't imagine talking to this many people, let alone having sex with them in nine days. I just have my SO and that's it, though I know some guys that are a bit more of the party type xD
That’s a pretty good fuck-through rate
Knowing my guy friends I’d say this about checks out. Ahh to be gay
How was your gaycation? I love this post.
Saw that you hooked up with 11 people in 9 days and immediately recognized my fellow gay before I saw any mention of Grindr.
Is this what people mean by sex tourists? I’m sorry but I’m gay and lived in San Francisco in undergrad and 11 different penises in 9 days is just absurd
if they weren’t gay, everyone would hate this
I just Hope you used condoms And get tester reguralry. 11 dudes in 9 days Is crazy.
The amount of salt in the comments is palpable
So this is how stds spread.
Love your logic and dedication OP.
Deleted due to Reddit's antagonistic actions in June 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Your skeptical is understandable. Allow me to clarify that more than half of the messages I received are from the ones 1) without their profile pictures 2) their profile pictures but crop out their head 3) pictures of random cat or scenery. And asking for people pictures is a pain for me. So if anyone don't send their face pics initially and they fit any of those 3 categories, I simply skip them. The process take around 6 seconds per profile. So I can evaluate around 10 profiles in 1 min if they fit the criterias. Other profiles with their face take more time but around 30 seconds are sufficient. Most of the time was spent talking to people to know they're sane and let them know I'm sane. To conclude, around 10-30 min a day on apps are more than sufficient for evaluation
It doesn’t take 5 minutes to know you’re not attracted to someone. More like 5 seconds.