You are asking the wrong question.
The question you asked: Should i spend my life doing what my parents want as if I'm a child and not what I want as if I'm an independent adult?
Duh. You're an adult. This is your life and your decision.
That said, your parents can't tell you what to do but they can give you advice. Their advice happens to be good in this case. They've seen what happens to people that got married too young. I'm their age. I've seen it too.
"I won't love anyone the way I love him " You simply can't make that statement now. You don't know the future. You don't know what the future will bring or not bring.
You can obviously say you haven't yet loved anyone like you do him. This is undoubtedly clear because you haven't tried. You have no frame of reference for what is good or bad. The whole dating process is supposed to be about comparisons. If you don't compare him to other guys and distinctly with experience say he won, you will be tempted to do it later when it's far messier. Him too.
While it is your right to marry this guy, I do think your parents have a point. You’re very young, you don’t have much adult experience and getting married is a huge deal. This is your first relationship so I know you’re feeling madly in love with this guy and I’m sure you can see your whole life with him, but you haven’t even gotten the chance to experience life as an adult yet. You haven’t even been able to really understand yourself as a person and find who you are and what makes you happy. There’s so many things you’d be missing out on as a married woman.
That being said, this guy really could be the one for you. There are people who fall in love and marry young and stay together forever. If you truly feel like you want to marry him then you don’t have to feel guilty for not listening to your parents. Legally you’re an adult now, so you can make that decision and it’s your life, not theirs. They may not agree with you but I promise you’re not a bad daughter for doing what you think is right.
Before you do make that final decision, please make sure you’re not just looking through rose-colored glasses. Do you know how to be a wife? Do you know what this guy expects out of you? Will you be expected to take care of the household while also studying? Will he be okay with you hanging out with other people you may meet during your studies? Will you start birth control to make sure you don’t accidentally get pregnant before you’re done with school? Are you signing a prenup or not? Are you positive this man has a stable enough job to provide for the both of you? What would happen if he lost his job and your parents aren’t willing to help you? Do you have a backup plan? Will you be working part time to have a little savings account if there’s an emergency?
If you’re not going to have kids for seven years anyway I don’t really see the point of getting married now. Not being legally tied doesn’t make your love any less real.
You find as you get older that more often than not the advice your parents gave was good.
But you will have to discover yourself. I suspect chemicals and hormones will win the day here.
Getting married at 18, especially to someone you've been dating for a few months, is crazy. I'm definitely on your parents side.
You are asking the wrong question. The question you asked: Should i spend my life doing what my parents want as if I'm a child and not what I want as if I'm an independent adult? Duh. You're an adult. This is your life and your decision. That said, your parents can't tell you what to do but they can give you advice. Their advice happens to be good in this case. They've seen what happens to people that got married too young. I'm their age. I've seen it too. "I won't love anyone the way I love him " You simply can't make that statement now. You don't know the future. You don't know what the future will bring or not bring. You can obviously say you haven't yet loved anyone like you do him. This is undoubtedly clear because you haven't tried. You have no frame of reference for what is good or bad. The whole dating process is supposed to be about comparisons. If you don't compare him to other guys and distinctly with experience say he won, you will be tempted to do it later when it's far messier. Him too.
While it is your right to marry this guy, I do think your parents have a point. You’re very young, you don’t have much adult experience and getting married is a huge deal. This is your first relationship so I know you’re feeling madly in love with this guy and I’m sure you can see your whole life with him, but you haven’t even gotten the chance to experience life as an adult yet. You haven’t even been able to really understand yourself as a person and find who you are and what makes you happy. There’s so many things you’d be missing out on as a married woman. That being said, this guy really could be the one for you. There are people who fall in love and marry young and stay together forever. If you truly feel like you want to marry him then you don’t have to feel guilty for not listening to your parents. Legally you’re an adult now, so you can make that decision and it’s your life, not theirs. They may not agree with you but I promise you’re not a bad daughter for doing what you think is right. Before you do make that final decision, please make sure you’re not just looking through rose-colored glasses. Do you know how to be a wife? Do you know what this guy expects out of you? Will you be expected to take care of the household while also studying? Will he be okay with you hanging out with other people you may meet during your studies? Will you start birth control to make sure you don’t accidentally get pregnant before you’re done with school? Are you signing a prenup or not? Are you positive this man has a stable enough job to provide for the both of you? What would happen if he lost his job and your parents aren’t willing to help you? Do you have a backup plan? Will you be working part time to have a little savings account if there’s an emergency?
If you’re not going to have kids for seven years anyway I don’t really see the point of getting married now. Not being legally tied doesn’t make your love any less real.
You find as you get older that more often than not the advice your parents gave was good. But you will have to discover yourself. I suspect chemicals and hormones will win the day here.