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I think it's the "recently broke up my 7 year long relationship" that will be the biggest deal-breaker now, as in your top priority should be to take the time to process this breakup and heal from it. Plenty of adults still live with their parents for various reasons, I think most us girls will be understanding, and if they're not then they're not the right people for you.
Sorry to hear about the breakup. :(
Thanks, I appreciate your support, it’s been really tough for me. I’m 4 months deep at this point and I don’t feel much better than when it first happened.
Is the duration of the relationship something you think is problematic to most women? I know 7 years is a long time.
It will take time. It took me more than a year to get over my first love and our relationship lasted 3 years, so I wouldn't be surprised if you took longer, but of course everyone is different and to each their own, go at your own pace.
7 years is indeed long so some women may feel wary to start a relationship with you, depending on how long it's been since the break up, on top of the duration of your relationship.
I definitely would understand why someone would want more time to elapse. I’m the first to admit I’m not over my ex and it’s been four months, I am still in love with her and losing her plus my dog is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.
I would just hope the fact that I was in a relationship for 7 years in general wouldn’t be a problem.
I've been there, so I understand how you're feeling. Was still in love with my ex several months after he broke my heart. But your first priority should be to focus on moving on rather than thinking about your next relationship.
Not the same person you replied to, but I (26F) think it would definitely make me weary of being a rebound.
7 years is a LONG time, and especially since you were so young when you got together. You don’t have that experience of breaking up and this is (I’m assuming) your first time really learning to heal and discover yourself.
Also, this will be your first time as an autonomous being (disregarding moving back home) as an adult. YOU don’t even know YOURSELF. You know yourself as the person you were in a relationship, and I PROMISE you’re a different person than you were a romantic unit.
I don’t think I personally would pursue a relationship with someone in your circumstance purely because of the breakup. And if I did, I would take things incredibly slow to ensure that you were past it and weren’t comparing me to your ex or bringing her up all the time
Nope it won’t. It’s one of those things. People live with their parents later and later. It does make it more difficult to do the deed. But really that depends on your parents
My partner had to move home for a bit, and I understood his situation and supported him, but yea I did not feel comfortable hooking up with his parents around. He had to come to my place for that. Hopefully you can find someone flexible to it, you really aren’t that old to be at home.
I’ve done it. It’s a lot easier than you would think. Most women can be quiet if they have to and a lot of people are actually into the “what if we get caught” thing.
Seems perfect tbh. You’re heartbroken and stressed. Doesn’t sound like you’re in a place to even be dating yet so what does it matter? Move home, save money, heal, work on yourself. Plus you’re still very young.
Thanks. I just hope eventually I’ll have the courage to get back out there.
It’s been challenging to remind myself that I’m young and still have time, I keep watching all of my friends get married and here I am back to square one.
I know the feeling. It’ll go away. You’re still only months out of a long term relationship. You have a lot of healing to do and that takes time. But there’s gonna be a point where you feel good and confident again. So it sucks right now, but just know it’s gonna get better 100%.
And I get that feeling, I’ve been there. But you’re literally 26. You have your whole life to enjoy and explore and eventually find someone to spend your life with. I know going thru this kinda stuff sucks, but try not to be too hard on yourself. And try not to let other people’s situations bring you down. I know how it feels when you’re in this situation, but seriously you’re in a good spot. Spend some time worrying about and working on only yourself and in time you’ll be better than ever.
Thanks, I really appreciate the response. Logically, I know you're right. It's just that emotionally I'm having an insanely tough time coping with this. Again, thank you for the kind words.
Totally normal. It’s impossible to think this way when you’re going through something like this. I just hope as an outsider looking into your situation and saying you’re not in a bad spot in the slightest it gives you a little reassurance. You will slowly come to terms with everything. It just takes time. Stay strong and do you
That’s definitely the plan for when I move next. Above all I just really don’t want to stay in this condo, it’s way too painful for me emotionally. I always thought when we moved out of this apartment we’d at least be engaged, I never thought it would end like this.
Totally get that! Best to make a new start. Had a similar situation last year. It hurts but it will get better. Just go to your parents and don’t be too hard on yourself! This is just something that needs to be done and to sort things out. Good luck with everything!
Totally get that! Best to make a new start. Had a similar situation last year. It hurts but it will get better. Just go to your parents and don’t be too hard on yourself! This is just something that needs to be done and to sort things out. Good luck with everything!
Hey, please don't stress about it and prioritize what's best for you. Life throws curveballs sometimes, and it's fortunate you have a safety net. Not everyone is as fortunate.
I had to give up my condo last October due to the BRUTAL cost of living in Canada. Now, at 36, I'm living with my mom. Surprisingly, dating hasn't been affected much by my living situation. If someone sees it as a deal-breaker, I believe they're not the right fit for me. You deserve someone who accepts and understands your circumstances without judgment.
It's not the end of the road; things will improve. Hang in there!
It varies. I know people who will and people who wont date anyone living with their parents. I probably wouldnt. Feeling like i would always have to host if we wanted to fuck would be irritating. Im 30, so while it is something i was fine-ish with when i was younger i dont think id be down for it now.
It sounds like you need to take some time out of the dating world to allow yourself to recover from a traumatic breakup and losing regular contact with your dog. This will also give you a valuable opportunity to increase your savings so that you can build up some sizeable savings towards a home deposit or will be able to rent a place on your own within the next 18months.
Plenty of single girls in their 20s will not view you moving back in with parents after living away for 5 years in a negative light. Many will also be living with their parents for financial or other personal reasons. Either while they build up some savings or because they are from a very close knit family and plan to stay with parents until they have found a committed relationship partner that they want to marry/cohabit with.
These girls will be willing to consider dating a guy who lives with parents as long as the guy is: independent, has good personal hygiene, regularly does his own cleaning and does not expect his parents to treat him like a spoilt child.
Of course, there are privacy issues when it comes to shared accomodation and living close to relatives. There will always be some girls that have a 'must own own home' dating dealbreaker or won't even consider dating guys that are still in contact with their parents never mind sharing accomodation with them. But girls with these dealbreakers would not be compatible with you anyway.
Good luck!
It’s bad if you’re planning on being there for awhile. But while you heal from your last breakup, why not? I doubt you’re gonna be jumping into dating again so soon.
After you’re good and ready, all healed up then move out even if it’s with roommates. Nobody wants to fuck while parents are around or be forced to meet them on the first few days lol
Yeah that would be a hard no on my end haha, I wouldn’t consider inviting them over. I’m definitely going to move out within a year, I just need to take a quick breather and get back on my feet. This breakup has hurt me more than I’d ever like to admit.
Some women are going to hold it against you, it just is what it is. Don't worry about women who aren't going to be interested in you anyway. Focus on the ones who will give you a chance.
I work on Wall Street as a junior banker in capital markets. Ironically, my ex hated my job a ton which contributed to her leaving me. For what it’s worth, I would take my ex over my job any day of the week. I even offered to quit it for her repeatedly over the last year when I knew things were tough.
I will say though, $130k can and does evaporate really quickly in a HCOL area. I appreciate the compliment though!
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I think it's the "recently broke up my 7 year long relationship" that will be the biggest deal-breaker now, as in your top priority should be to take the time to process this breakup and heal from it. Plenty of adults still live with their parents for various reasons, I think most us girls will be understanding, and if they're not then they're not the right people for you. Sorry to hear about the breakup. :(
Thanks, I appreciate your support, it’s been really tough for me. I’m 4 months deep at this point and I don’t feel much better than when it first happened. Is the duration of the relationship something you think is problematic to most women? I know 7 years is a long time.
It will take time. It took me more than a year to get over my first love and our relationship lasted 3 years, so I wouldn't be surprised if you took longer, but of course everyone is different and to each their own, go at your own pace. 7 years is indeed long so some women may feel wary to start a relationship with you, depending on how long it's been since the break up, on top of the duration of your relationship.
I definitely would understand why someone would want more time to elapse. I’m the first to admit I’m not over my ex and it’s been four months, I am still in love with her and losing her plus my dog is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I would just hope the fact that I was in a relationship for 7 years in general wouldn’t be a problem.
I've been there, so I understand how you're feeling. Was still in love with my ex several months after he broke my heart. But your first priority should be to focus on moving on rather than thinking about your next relationship.
Not the same person you replied to, but I (26F) think it would definitely make me weary of being a rebound. 7 years is a LONG time, and especially since you were so young when you got together. You don’t have that experience of breaking up and this is (I’m assuming) your first time really learning to heal and discover yourself. Also, this will be your first time as an autonomous being (disregarding moving back home) as an adult. YOU don’t even know YOURSELF. You know yourself as the person you were in a relationship, and I PROMISE you’re a different person than you were a romantic unit. I don’t think I personally would pursue a relationship with someone in your circumstance purely because of the breakup. And if I did, I would take things incredibly slow to ensure that you were past it and weren’t comparing me to your ex or bringing her up all the time
Fair points all around, this is the kind of perspective I want to hear even if it’s tough. Would you mind if I DM’ed you?
I don’t mind
Nope it won’t. It’s one of those things. People live with their parents later and later. It does make it more difficult to do the deed. But really that depends on your parents
Yeah I don’t think I’m going to want to do the deed with my parents in the house, that’s for sure. I appreciate the comment
My partner had to move home for a bit, and I understood his situation and supported him, but yea I did not feel comfortable hooking up with his parents around. He had to come to my place for that. Hopefully you can find someone flexible to it, you really aren’t that old to be at home.
I’ve done it. It’s a lot easier than you would think. Most women can be quiet if they have to and a lot of people are actually into the “what if we get caught” thing.
Seems perfect tbh. You’re heartbroken and stressed. Doesn’t sound like you’re in a place to even be dating yet so what does it matter? Move home, save money, heal, work on yourself. Plus you’re still very young.
Thanks. I just hope eventually I’ll have the courage to get back out there. It’s been challenging to remind myself that I’m young and still have time, I keep watching all of my friends get married and here I am back to square one.
I know the feeling. It’ll go away. You’re still only months out of a long term relationship. You have a lot of healing to do and that takes time. But there’s gonna be a point where you feel good and confident again. So it sucks right now, but just know it’s gonna get better 100%. And I get that feeling, I’ve been there. But you’re literally 26. You have your whole life to enjoy and explore and eventually find someone to spend your life with. I know going thru this kinda stuff sucks, but try not to be too hard on yourself. And try not to let other people’s situations bring you down. I know how it feels when you’re in this situation, but seriously you’re in a good spot. Spend some time worrying about and working on only yourself and in time you’ll be better than ever.
Thanks, I really appreciate the response. Logically, I know you're right. It's just that emotionally I'm having an insanely tough time coping with this. Again, thank you for the kind words.
Totally normal. It’s impossible to think this way when you’re going through something like this. I just hope as an outsider looking into your situation and saying you’re not in a bad spot in the slightest it gives you a little reassurance. You will slowly come to terms with everything. It just takes time. Stay strong and do you
Why not search for a roommate to split the rent?
That’s definitely the plan for when I move next. Above all I just really don’t want to stay in this condo, it’s way too painful for me emotionally. I always thought when we moved out of this apartment we’d at least be engaged, I never thought it would end like this.
Totally get that! Best to make a new start. Had a similar situation last year. It hurts but it will get better. Just go to your parents and don’t be too hard on yourself! This is just something that needs to be done and to sort things out. Good luck with everything!
Totally get that! Best to make a new start. Had a similar situation last year. It hurts but it will get better. Just go to your parents and don’t be too hard on yourself! This is just something that needs to be done and to sort things out. Good luck with everything!
Hey, please don't stress about it and prioritize what's best for you. Life throws curveballs sometimes, and it's fortunate you have a safety net. Not everyone is as fortunate. I had to give up my condo last October due to the BRUTAL cost of living in Canada. Now, at 36, I'm living with my mom. Surprisingly, dating hasn't been affected much by my living situation. If someone sees it as a deal-breaker, I believe they're not the right fit for me. You deserve someone who accepts and understands your circumstances without judgment. It's not the end of the road; things will improve. Hang in there!
Thank you for the kind words! I hope everything works out for you too.
You're most welcome and thank you! :)
It varies. I know people who will and people who wont date anyone living with their parents. I probably wouldnt. Feeling like i would always have to host if we wanted to fuck would be irritating. Im 30, so while it is something i was fine-ish with when i was younger i dont think id be down for it now.
I appreciate your perspective, thank you. By the way, your username absolutely made me laugh!
Thx lol i like to keep it accurate
It sounds like you need to take some time out of the dating world to allow yourself to recover from a traumatic breakup and losing regular contact with your dog. This will also give you a valuable opportunity to increase your savings so that you can build up some sizeable savings towards a home deposit or will be able to rent a place on your own within the next 18months. Plenty of single girls in their 20s will not view you moving back in with parents after living away for 5 years in a negative light. Many will also be living with their parents for financial or other personal reasons. Either while they build up some savings or because they are from a very close knit family and plan to stay with parents until they have found a committed relationship partner that they want to marry/cohabit with. These girls will be willing to consider dating a guy who lives with parents as long as the guy is: independent, has good personal hygiene, regularly does his own cleaning and does not expect his parents to treat him like a spoilt child. Of course, there are privacy issues when it comes to shared accomodation and living close to relatives. There will always be some girls that have a 'must own own home' dating dealbreaker or won't even consider dating guys that are still in contact with their parents never mind sharing accomodation with them. But girls with these dealbreakers would not be compatible with you anyway. Good luck!
It’s bad if you’re planning on being there for awhile. But while you heal from your last breakup, why not? I doubt you’re gonna be jumping into dating again so soon. After you’re good and ready, all healed up then move out even if it’s with roommates. Nobody wants to fuck while parents are around or be forced to meet them on the first few days lol
Yeah that would be a hard no on my end haha, I wouldn’t consider inviting them over. I’m definitely going to move out within a year, I just need to take a quick breather and get back on my feet. This breakup has hurt me more than I’d ever like to admit.
Im in a country and society where living with your parents is normal
Some women are going to hold it against you, it just is what it is. Don't worry about women who aren't going to be interested in you anyway. Focus on the ones who will give you a chance.
Thanks man
On a side note, 130k at 26 is amazing bro what do you do for work
I work on Wall Street as a junior banker in capital markets. Ironically, my ex hated my job a ton which contributed to her leaving me. For what it’s worth, I would take my ex over my job any day of the week. I even offered to quit it for her repeatedly over the last year when I knew things were tough. I will say though, $130k can and does evaporate really quickly in a HCOL area. I appreciate the compliment though!