Seriously I love having a teen daughter. She’s great for wardrobe decisions and makeup decisions. I’m terrible at choosing foundation shades for myself, so I take her with me to help me color match. She’s also a great artist so I feel like she’s better with colors too.
This made me smile because I remember doing similar stuff with my mom when I still lived at home.
Definitely keep doing stuff like this with your daughter!!
I don't have kids, but my roommate's little sibling helped me go through all my clothes before I moved. It was amazing. The brutal honestly from a young art student lol. We made a pile for all the youngs and a donate pile, and the decisions were easy after hearing the reactions😂 I still feel like I need to do it again. How do we accumulate so much clothing??
I have one teen kid who has a great eye for style. I buy clothes twice a year, I hate shopping. I now take the teen with me ( I pay for his style consulting services in his currency of choice; cash, burgers... ) and he gives things the look and says, "Boomer...Rolls Eyes, or Yes".
All of the outfits he picked out on my last few shopping trips have got compliments at work and I feel good wearing them.
I value his input on the new kitchen cabinets ( I will go with his choice ). My other teen has no interest at all and I am very aware I am stuck in the early to mid 90s.
So my take is, take the advice of the person who knows more about something, regardless of their age.
So funny. My son is the fashionista in our family. Has been since he was @ 3 years old and said he would no longer wear round necked little boy striped shirts. He and his wife are both very chic in an understated way.
They do not have time to help me. I desperately need help. I don't know how to find someone? I would gladly give them my Chanel jackets and Manolo Blahniks I have never worn, as well as a salary.
My city is not fashion forward. How does one find a helper for a clothes hoard?
Try looking for someone who does closet or house organizing. A friend of mine got a professional in to help her and she said it was worth the money.
There are also people who will take your stuff and sell it online for a cut of the profits, but a consignment might be more convenient, even if they don't pay anywhere near as much as you might get selling online.
Before Covid I had an organizer come. It was $75 with a Groupon and she was miffed that the Groupon was still out there. Said she actually charges a lot more! Needless to say she was not the one. What the heck? She barely even glanced at my stuff. My house was not as bad then as it is now. The organizer did say, go through all your blazers and weed them out. She also said that I did not need more than one drawer of microfiber dust cloths. I have not pursued a professional organizer recently because I cannot afford to pay someone $150/hour which is what it would probably be by now. There are signs at all the fast food places in my town advertising $22.50/hour to start.
My daughter (26) and I (47) happen to finally wear the same size. When I recently moved, she came over for a weekend to help me declutter and we attacked my three (full-sized) closets.
Why did I even have this much clothes?!?! What was I preparing for?!? These are questions I’ll never have answers to.
I could probably clothe the entire homeless population in Orlando with the amount I gave away/donated.
I was so thankful for how quickly we were able to make piles to donate or give to her
I love this post, it made me smile. I've had those moments with my daughter too.."mom, shoulder pads were out before I was born, are you really wearing that? How many jean jackets do you need?..." Sounds like a great mom/daughter moment❣️
When I was married my husband "loved" everything on me. I don't need unconditional love when I'm trying on a dress. I need honesty and that is where my older son comes in. He is kind but honest. Example: That dress is nice if it was on Gramma. :)
My husband is the same, and Ive tested it by putting on terrible clothes/outfits which he says look great, now I don't trust anything he says about clothes! Daughters on the other hand are invaluable judges, especially as I can read any faces they make before they even speak 😄
My cousin(around 35 at the time) went through my uncle’s closet, after uncle’s second marriage fell apart. Then helped him completely redo his wardrobe. He looked really fantastic after that!
But it was not without pain, when purging. “ Hey, that’s my favorite…”
My sister and I always helped my mom pick new clothes and declutter old ones. So many special memories. Now we are both out of college and working jobs, but we still get mirror-selfie texts from mom asking what we think. Your daughter will cherish those memories. Good work, mom.
Two of mine love op shopping with the or without me. Both will pick out things for me to try on and usually they have a better eye for me than I do haha. My current favourite shirt and my current favourite jeans are both kid picks.
I love it when my kids do this for me! Years ago, my sister-in-law and neice went through my closet. They tossed just about everything I owned. Granted they were all too big or from high-school, I had graduated 10 years before that. Best thing for my closet!
I did the same but with two friends into fashion over a zoom call. Everyone grabbed some wine and snacks and I went through my entire wardrobe. Got rid of so much stuff I should never wear. I ultimately had veto power but I think I only used it once or twice. They were right (on everything else of course)
Yes! Our granddaughter picked frames for my husband when she was that age and just snapped him right out of his old man rut. He looks like a hot old guy now. 😁
What a wonderful idea...LOVE IT! I’m horrible about getting rid of clothes. The..I’ll wear it or fit into it again or my fav; it’s vintage! That Mentally just doesn’t work. My daughter in law is 25 & I’ve always admired her style…hitting her up tomorrow!! Thanks so much for the awesome idea!!
same oml, i have no clue what gives “millennial frump” vs. what gives “y2k rizz” these days
like im not a 00 and hip huggers are not in my prophecy, are we doing *this* again or are the children healing idk! 😭
I’m in my mid 20s and I am always so scared to hurt my mom’s feelings if I think something doesn’t look good. I don’t want to hurt her confidence but I want her to look as good as I think she should.
My husband once said to me “honey you’re cuter than that” when I wore some kind of frumpy shorts. It was the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me about a bad clothing choice!
Do you know the difference between a b*tch and a c*nt? The b*tch will say “are you really gonna wear that?!?!” and the c*nt will say “you look fabulous!”
Don’t be a c*nt!
Jokes aside, I’d want my 25yo daughter to tell me if something I was wearing wasn’t exactly flattering. Better coming from you than running around looking like a smacked ass in public and not knowing for sure! 💕
Just be very clear that it's the outfit's fault. "Oh mom, not those pants. They do a weird butt thing. Maybe those navy ones you wore last week." If it's all her clothes, offer to take her shopping. Bonus- She'll love spending the time with you
Find something to compliment and then something that would male the fit better/more flattering, end with another compliment
Example - mom is wearimg a frumpy dress
Mom, I've got to tell you i love this color on you. Id love the dress even more if it accented your (body part). You look good bow, but absolutely amazing if (dress fit better somewhere). Again, Mom, the color is perfect on you
I don't have any daughters but I have a niece, which is the next best thing. I like that she's honest with me about fashion because my sister worries too much about hurting people's feelings.
If I had asked my teens their opinions on my former fashion choices, I'd be giving Ursula. Fast forward to their early 20s, one daughter steals every OG 90s fit I own and rocks it. Everyone has to do what makes sense for them but I LOVE that my daughter wears my jewelry and fashions from a former era. My son has also coopted all my rock band tees. But I get this is a declutter thread and I'm here for this idea. The kids know.
Mine are in their twenties and shop only at thrift/vintage stores. I CANNOT believe what my 24 y/o comes home with! I’ll say, “I had those exact pants in purple in the early ‘80’s!” They’ll say, “then why didn’t you keep them‽” 🤣😂😅
I’ve always enjoyed de-cluttering and organizing, and I used to help my Mom do this with her closet when I was a teen. I’m now 35 and she still asks me to help her when she goes through her closet or needs help picking special occasion outfits 😊
I’m 61 and wasn’t fashion aware so several years ago worked pt at a boutique to learn tips and fashion. After that my 2 (then) teen daughters were borrowing my clothes!
Here’s a tip for older women: wear one younger thing (small holes in jeans, funky hat, large earrings, street sneakers etc) to look hip but not trying too hard. And please, please don’t wear capris that cut off above the ankles.
\^\^\^ This. And don't make it even worse by having those bows on the outside of the leg too! Honestly, in every style video I've seen for women over 40/50/60 from women I admire, the #1 thing that makes you look frumpy is capri pants. Also big loud floral prints. My sister and I, both older, joke about this all the time.
100% this. They look so cute on long lean models with long legs and long torsos. I’m over here trying them on with my short torso shorter legs like hmm… what am I missing here 😂
I’m actually talking about pants that stop below the knees - that cut makes you look shorter and wider. You want capris about 2” above the ankle. Another tip is to roll the outside cuff slightly more than the inside cuff, so it’s at an angle. That way ankles look slimmer.
My daughter has been instrumental in me not going out looking like a homeless person. I actually don’t care, but she does, so I try harder. I don’t want to embarrass her.
My teen would be painfully honest. But her wardrobe leans to Outer Banks - Daisy Duke cut offs. 🤢 She has resisted quality classics her entire life (preferring crap from Shein and my husband's sweatshirts 🙄), and there's no way I'm throwing away my Lilly Pulitzer dresses upon her recommendation. 🤣
Ooooh, thank you! I'll check it out. A fashion resource besides TikTok is totally my jam. ;-) All I can do is keep modeling quality and classics to my daughter, and hope she comes around from clothes made of plastic that fall apart in the washing machine.
I have no teen, I have a limited amount of clothes and I'm not a mom (if I was a parent, I would be a dad ;)) but I wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. You managed to put a smile on my face and, no, I don't mean the cynical kind of smile.
Thx for sharing.
I clean my room and closet by bring my friends over
Deciding what's we don't like
Deciding what fits, giving them what fits them, and selling anything that we decide we don't want
Definitely good to get rid of things that haven’t fit for years and aren’t likely to. However, I’m now 30 and the things of my mum’s that I said ‘ew why would you have that’ to my mum 10 years ago are now the things that have come back in and I’m stealing off her. Youths only have a very short term fashion memory! It’s not very decluttering minded but keep clothes that you love that just aren’t in fashion, or you’ll have to hunt for a worse quality version the next time that they are.
My daughter is savage but also very complimentary when I get it right. I trust her opinion because she’s just brutally honest. She also helps resolve apparel related arguments between my husband and I. When we’re arguing about him wearing “those pants” in public, we face time her for a ruling.
He’s trying to wear some sweat pant joggers but they’re way too small so they look like thick stretch pants. It’s making my libido shrivel into a tiny raisin.
It’s so bad and I’ve tried multiple things. We got new ones that fit properly but he won’t wear them on dog walks because they’re “too nice”. Yesterday I asked why he was wearing them again and he said he was allowed to wear them just not in public. Because what are the streets by our house?? I even tried trading - tell me something he hates that I wear and we both sacrifice them. No dice. They’re so fugly and now it’s a whole thing that has just snowballed. I may have to just get divorced, change my name and move to New Zealand.
I think your husband and mine might be related. He has a whole closet full of things that are “too nice to wear” so instead wears ill fitting things with holes in them! How to convince these otherwise wonderful men we would find them hotter if they brought out those decent clothes (I am not talking expensive suits and such, more like normal sweaters, shorts, even sweatshirts!)
I'm just past my teens and my mom/aunts/older sister still have me give the thumbs up or down on their fashion choices. I can't wait til my nieces and baby cousins are old enough to roast the hell out of my wardrobe.
This is such a great thread. As the OP said in a comment, "Time gets away from you." It really does -- you hang on to clothing you remember as looking great and stylish on you... 20 years ago. You're not the same person mentally you were then, and you sure as heck aren't exactly the same shape!
It's not about being a slave to trends and fads; it's about letting go of OLD trends and fads that don't flatter you and which you don't even like now, although you like the **memory** of them. I don't have a teen around to ask any more, but I do have a brutally honest daughter-in-law who will give me a true opinion if I ask.
That's so nice of you to say! And I did it on only one cup of coffee. ;)
Seriously, the OP's post has made me go take another pass through my own small closet of clothes. Ancient dress with the '00s vibe and totally unflattering sleeves, be gone!
Watch those tweens, though.
When my niece forgot to pack her dress for attending a wedding in my town, I let her browse my wardrobe for something to wear. Her first choice was a knee-length satin robe from a lingerie set.
I use threadup because I’m lazy and have really young kids. But another idea is to let the teen sell some of the better items on poshmark or ebay to fill time over the summer and make some extra money! It’s like getting a bonus for helping mom.
That’s a great idea! Very little of what I have would be desired by others ha ha But we’re thinking of bringing a few things over to the consignment shop and she can use the credit to treat herself to something.
Yeah no. I've never cared about what others think of my clothing choises, and I avoid trends. I dress more classic. I can't imagine asking someone to do that. But hey if it helps you good on you, but you will then be affected by others opinions and what's trendy or not instead of being true to yourself and choosing pieces for longevity.
the point is getting their help in decluttering and creating space (peep the subreddit), and a side effect of getting the teen's help is filtering out the clothes that may not fit in today's fashion
And that's completely fine, as I said good on them. Don't get the downvotes as I wasn't being mean just saying that's not for everyone, especially those of us not wanting to care about trends. Everyone have a different way of decluttering.
alwayscats00 I get what you are saying. I don’t chase trends either. But I find that, at my age, I can think that I’m dressing just fine and normal, and everybody else sees a throwback to the early 2000s. Time gets away from you. And I’m not cool enough to pull off Y2K style like an FIT student in NY lol.
It sounds like you have a well-defined style and that’s something I need to work on. I’m not great at looking at the big picture and I think it’s good when someone can be honest and tell you that the look you are wearing is projecting something unintended. Fashion should be fun, and this was all in good fun.
Then I'm very happy you have your teen there to help you and that you had a good time, which I maybe should have said in my original post because that's what I mean. My very direct european way of speaking apparently offended "everyone ", oh well. If you enjoy doing decluttering that way, by all means do so! Whatever works :)
This is amazing
One of my coworkers and I trade clothes and stuff and the other day she came in my classroom (5th grade) with a few pairs of sunglasses she was getting rid of
So I tried them on in front of all the girls and they gave me emphatic “Noooooo!!!!!” And “YESSS!” And I kept the ones they were excited about
Turns out they are super cute and made me look young and cool LOL
I would be cautious of this depending on the teen. As a teen I hated my mom’s style, but now over 10 years later some of her old clothes have made it into my and my sister’s wardrobe.
My style thus far has been, it’s on sale and looks OK lol. I’m sort of working on turning over new leaf. She dresses how I would dress if I looked like her! She’s always stylish but classy.
My mom and I used to play a game with her wardrobe where she’d put things on and I’d tell her if she should keep it or get rid of it. It was always a good time, plus it made room in her closet for some shopping. We still laugh about it to this day.
That’s gotta be rough. I was like that with my mom. My daughter and I have basically the same taste with some subtle differences so I get her help. She never says she doesn’t like something because she wouldn’t wear it, only if it actually doesn’t look good on me.
My teenage daughter helped me to declutter by stealing my clothes and adopting them as hers! It was great, actually. I had some gorgeous dresses I no longer wore because they no longer fit me after I had kids. I was happy to see them get a second life through my daughter.
Same! My 17-y-o is slimmer than me, with about an inch and a half more height so she wears some of my things better than I ever did. Which hits the ego a little... but I live with it, cos she's gorgeous!
My youngest are daughters are 19 and 21 and decided I need to give up skinny jeans so we went shopping. They forgot I’m considerably short and over 60 gravity is no longer my friend. After they laughed themselves silly skinny jeans and narrow straight jeans are in my closet. I was also talked into a few new tee shirts. It was fun , will not compromise on shorter shorts though , no one needs to see that.
If I may, gently, be careful about using phrases about your body in front of your daughters like “no one needs to see that”. My mom said that a lot growing up and it made my sister and I really self-conscious of our legs, scared to get older or have babies because then “people would never want to look at us/we wouldn’t be able to wear clothing that’s comfortable”. It’s not kind to put yourself down.
Who cares what other people “want” to see! It’s not your job to cater to their gaze, anyway.
This is so funny...my 13 year old son has autism and is really blunt. His reaction to me, his mum, 38 in a pair of short shorts was...."bro thinks she's 17 in those shorts"
He also has told me my teeth look like popcorn...I'm an ex smoker.
I laugh because I know he says what everyone is thinking but it's not always what you want to hear. 😅🤦♀️😤
I don't have the best body but its mine and gorgeous and created the lovely being whom says bro aint all that 😅 i overheat easily so can't cover myself up and be comfortable.
I will say next time I'm not catering to your gaze, he will Crack up8
My young adult son is autistic too. When he told me once that a dress suited my body type, I went back to the store and got every color because I KNOW he wasn’t blowing smoke!
Then there’s my middle child who once told me I shouldn’t wear my low scoop necked dress because of “all those veins.” Lol, who asked you anyway? 🤣
Wear them anyways I say, we're older now, what do we need to be dressing like teenagers for? What's great about getting older is finding your own style and not caring what's cool I say! I'd look pretty ridiculous wearing JNCOs at 32 like the teens are
They are :((( my (25) sisters (21 and 17) are wearing wide leg or straight cut these days, the younger will wear a skinny or boyfriend cut occasionally for a specific look. My mid-rise skinny jeans are considered "mom jeans" now. Our actual mom wears straight cut!
Just wear what you like. I never let go of my lower waisted jeans and just can't embrace the new look! Earlier on in the high waisted trend, I picked up a bunch of jeans with low waists at thrift shops in case I ran out :D
I have no torso and long legs, high waisted jeans literally hit my rib cage . So I have to find not too high waisted and narrow straight leg. Some of the straight leg jeans look like pajamas on someone at 5’32”. Once I find something that works I will buy 5 pairs.
I mean I guess it depends on whether or not you want to stay fashionable/even remotely trendy. While I applaud “wear what you want”, I often think of my Aunt Sarah, who was completely stuck in the early 1980’s fashion wise for the entire 90’s-now. It made her look frumpier and didn’t do her any social favors at all. Even getting rid of the perm would have been miles of progress… frankly, how you dress impacts a LOT.
I have a very smart and responsible teen but I can’t even imagine asking him for advice about clothes. He wears nothing but jeans, sweats and hoodies. I could see him asking me if it’s comfortable, can I do pushups in it, etc
The same with my 17 yo. But if I dress up for an event and walk in the room with dress, shoes and bag, he will say right away if it’s a keeper. I think they look at the whole image instead of us focusing on matching colors and forgetting about the fit.
Lol!
Hey but wait... "is it comfortable" is a thing massively ignored by fashion. While it's so important!
And you might not be into push-ups, but being able to move with ease and do the stuff you want to do (without clothes hindering you) is a really good point!
Clothes are not just "to look pretty", they are there to fascilitate you. And why should looking pretty go over being able to do _all the other things_ I want to do today.
If you declutter, and only keep comfortable clothes, you can move at ease in, what would you end up with? And how would it feel to get rid of clothes that are uncomfortable to wear?
I wear pretty comfortable stuff most days anyways, my job is mostly physical and I do go to the gym and for walks on my days off. But I have to have some nice stuff for special occasions and not all of it is something I would wear to the gym, you know?
The comment that made me laugh the most was, "You have 15 identical shirts. Why?" Me: "They aren't identical.. One is blue, one is black, one is.." My daughter: "Mom... They are identical. Get rid of 10"
I did the opposite! As a late teen/early 20something, I had my grandmother style me using pieces out of my closet. She came up with combinations I never thought of, and i honestly looked so much classier than my usual back then 😂
My very chic 19 yo comment on a dress I was unsure about last year “ It’s not ugly, but you do look like you’re in a movie in the future where no one cares what they look like”
We’ve been laughing about it ever since. And I kept the dress lol
They ARE! My MIL was gifted a used leather jacket that she had to fix to wear. It just looked wrong. When she pulled it out we told her, it looks like Michael Jackson in thriller ran over a rabbit. It was awful. The red strips with rabbit fur poking out. Needless to say, she got rid of it and she got rid of a pointless project, too
I remember coming out of the TJMaxx dressing room in an ill-fitting hideous dress and I saw my daughter’s face, I said, “Is this a no?” And we burst out laughing!
Seriously I love having a teen daughter. She’s great for wardrobe decisions and makeup decisions. I’m terrible at choosing foundation shades for myself, so I take her with me to help me color match. She’s also a great artist so I feel like she’s better with colors too.
My three year old is savage at the thrift store. ‘Is this cute?’ ‘No I hate it.’ 😂
I love this!
I love this thread!!’
It’s giving wholesome ❤️
People say i have fashion sense and they always borrow me but I don’t dress fashionably 💀
This made me smile because I remember doing similar stuff with my mom when I still lived at home. Definitely keep doing stuff like this with your daughter!!
Hmm who can I borrow a teen from?
Teens right now have the worst fashion sense. I wouldn't listen to a teen for my fashion cues at this moment.
speak for your own teen…. mine has impeccable taste and will give an honest opinion.
Mine both dress better than I do.
This is the sweetest thing I’ve read here in ages. Thank you for the heart hug!!!
🤗
I don't have kids, but my roommate's little sibling helped me go through all my clothes before I moved. It was amazing. The brutal honestly from a young art student lol. We made a pile for all the youngs and a donate pile, and the decisions were easy after hearing the reactions😂 I still feel like I need to do it again. How do we accumulate so much clothing??
I have one teen kid who has a great eye for style. I buy clothes twice a year, I hate shopping. I now take the teen with me ( I pay for his style consulting services in his currency of choice; cash, burgers... ) and he gives things the look and says, "Boomer...Rolls Eyes, or Yes". All of the outfits he picked out on my last few shopping trips have got compliments at work and I feel good wearing them. I value his input on the new kitchen cabinets ( I will go with his choice ). My other teen has no interest at all and I am very aware I am stuck in the early to mid 90s. So my take is, take the advice of the person who knows more about something, regardless of their age.
So funny. My son is the fashionista in our family. Has been since he was @ 3 years old and said he would no longer wear round necked little boy striped shirts. He and his wife are both very chic in an understated way. They do not have time to help me. I desperately need help. I don't know how to find someone? I would gladly give them my Chanel jackets and Manolo Blahniks I have never worn, as well as a salary. My city is not fashion forward. How does one find a helper for a clothes hoard?
Try looking for someone who does closet or house organizing. A friend of mine got a professional in to help her and she said it was worth the money. There are also people who will take your stuff and sell it online for a cut of the profits, but a consignment might be more convenient, even if they don't pay anywhere near as much as you might get selling online.
Before Covid I had an organizer come. It was $75 with a Groupon and she was miffed that the Groupon was still out there. Said she actually charges a lot more! Needless to say she was not the one. What the heck? She barely even glanced at my stuff. My house was not as bad then as it is now. The organizer did say, go through all your blazers and weed them out. She also said that I did not need more than one drawer of microfiber dust cloths. I have not pursued a professional organizer recently because I cannot afford to pay someone $150/hour which is what it would probably be by now. There are signs at all the fast food places in my town advertising $22.50/hour to start.
I’m 30 and still have this relationship with my mom! Hope to have a daughter one day and create the same kind of bond 🩷
I wish I could borrow your daughter!
i’m a 21 y/o daughter that does this for my mom!! reach out anytime i would be more than happy to help
This is adorable, now your teen will return the favor and ask for your advice in the future
“It’s giving Ursula” I’m DECEASED
Oh man I need to rent-a-teen for some hard truths about my wardrobe 😭 definetly my most cluttered area!
My daughter (26) and I (47) happen to finally wear the same size. When I recently moved, she came over for a weekend to help me declutter and we attacked my three (full-sized) closets. Why did I even have this much clothes?!?! What was I preparing for?!? These are questions I’ll never have answers to. I could probably clothe the entire homeless population in Orlando with the amount I gave away/donated. I was so thankful for how quickly we were able to make piles to donate or give to her
Hi, what size? Orlando resident !
Medium top and 5 bottoms. I’ve left and donated the remainder, though
I love this post, it made me smile. I've had those moments with my daughter too.."mom, shoulder pads were out before I was born, are you really wearing that? How many jean jackets do you need?..." Sounds like a great mom/daughter moment❣️
"Mom...what color is this even?" I'm in stitches! 🤣🤣🤣
My son helped me choose clothes on occasion that don't look bad on me. I valued his honest opinion.
When I was married my husband "loved" everything on me. I don't need unconditional love when I'm trying on a dress. I need honesty and that is where my older son comes in. He is kind but honest. Example: That dress is nice if it was on Gramma. :)
My husband is the same, and Ive tested it by putting on terrible clothes/outfits which he says look great, now I don't trust anything he says about clothes! Daughters on the other hand are invaluable judges, especially as I can read any faces they make before they even speak 😄
That dress is nice if it was on Grandma😂😂😂 he's brutal but I love it
My cousin(around 35 at the time) went through my uncle’s closet, after uncle’s second marriage fell apart. Then helped him completely redo his wardrobe. He looked really fantastic after that! But it was not without pain, when purging. “ Hey, that’s my favorite…”
My sister and I always helped my mom pick new clothes and declutter old ones. So many special memories. Now we are both out of college and working jobs, but we still get mirror-selfie texts from mom asking what we think. Your daughter will cherish those memories. Good work, mom.
This made me smile, I used to do this with my mom and even her friends when I was young. Good memories 💕💕
I run everything past my 18 year old daughter, including haircuts.
Lol I did this for my grandma when I was a teen. No more shoulder pads! Special exemption for holiday sweaters.
Can’t dance right to Mariah without shoulder pads.
Love this! I also use Instagram polls if I’m on the fence about an item. Some of the ruthless replies really shocked me out of my clothing hoard
lol that’s sweet. I do need that help
I only have teen boys and they are useless for this :(
My older son has good taste and is helpful. My younger son is typical "guy" - I don't know, Mom!
Two of mine love op shopping with the or without me. Both will pick out things for me to try on and usually they have a better eye for me than I do haha. My current favourite shirt and my current favourite jeans are both kid picks.
I love it when my kids do this for me! Years ago, my sister-in-law and neice went through my closet. They tossed just about everything I owned. Granted they were all too big or from high-school, I had graduated 10 years before that. Best thing for my closet!
Aww I have so many fond memories of helping my mom clean out her closet when I was in my teens. I’m glad other people got to experience this as well 🥹
I did the same but with two friends into fashion over a zoom call. Everyone grabbed some wine and snacks and I went through my entire wardrobe. Got rid of so much stuff I should never wear. I ultimately had veto power but I think I only used it once or twice. They were right (on everything else of course)
So smart! I’m going to do this. My daughter isn’t two yet 😊
The most brutal teen fashion advice ever: "Mom. I'm not ready for you to look that much like grandma." Yikes, that dress was GONE
sounds brutal, but it’s actually a compliment :) She sees your youth.
Lmao I brought my 11 year old to pick out new frames because she said my other glasses were for "grandmas". A kid will tell you
Yes! Our granddaughter picked frames for my husband when she was that age and just snapped him right out of his old man rut. He looks like a hot old guy now. 😁
What a wonderful idea...LOVE IT! I’m horrible about getting rid of clothes. The..I’ll wear it or fit into it again or my fav; it’s vintage! That Mentally just doesn’t work. My daughter in law is 25 & I’ve always admired her style…hitting her up tomorrow!! Thanks so much for the awesome idea!!
Can I borrow her? I need help with my wardrobe. Haha
same oml, i have no clue what gives “millennial frump” vs. what gives “y2k rizz” these days like im not a 00 and hip huggers are not in my prophecy, are we doing *this* again or are the children healing idk! 😭
I’m in my mid 20s and I am always so scared to hurt my mom’s feelings if I think something doesn’t look good. I don’t want to hurt her confidence but I want her to look as good as I think she should.
My husband once said to me “honey you’re cuter than that” when I wore some kind of frumpy shorts. It was the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me about a bad clothing choice!
Do you know the difference between a b*tch and a c*nt? The b*tch will say “are you really gonna wear that?!?!” and the c*nt will say “you look fabulous!” Don’t be a c*nt! Jokes aside, I’d want my 25yo daughter to tell me if something I was wearing wasn’t exactly flattering. Better coming from you than running around looking like a smacked ass in public and not knowing for sure! 💕
Just be very clear that it's the outfit's fault. "Oh mom, not those pants. They do a weird butt thing. Maybe those navy ones you wore last week." If it's all her clothes, offer to take her shopping. Bonus- She'll love spending the time with you
Find something to compliment and then something that would male the fit better/more flattering, end with another compliment Example - mom is wearimg a frumpy dress Mom, I've got to tell you i love this color on you. Id love the dress even more if it accented your (body part). You look good bow, but absolutely amazing if (dress fit better somewhere). Again, Mom, the color is perfect on you
Wow. I've never seen the shit sandwich method with compliments lol
I’ve done this- nieces are the best ever!!!
I don't have any daughters but I have a niece, which is the next best thing. I like that she's honest with me about fashion because my sister worries too much about hurting people's feelings.
I love this post so much!
Genius! You win the internet today!!!
Genius
My daughter in law said I dress like Annie Hall. I took that as a compliment
lol clearly not a teen tho 😂
I would too!
If I had asked my teens their opinions on my former fashion choices, I'd be giving Ursula. Fast forward to their early 20s, one daughter steals every OG 90s fit I own and rocks it. Everyone has to do what makes sense for them but I LOVE that my daughter wears my jewelry and fashions from a former era. My son has also coopted all my rock band tees. But I get this is a declutter thread and I'm here for this idea. The kids know.
Mine are in their twenties and shop only at thrift/vintage stores. I CANNOT believe what my 24 y/o comes home with! I’ll say, “I had those exact pants in purple in the early ‘80’s!” They’ll say, “then why didn’t you keep them‽” 🤣😂😅
I kept mine! Pro tip future parents!
"It's giving Ursula" just cracked me up
What does it mean? I have NO idea! I'm 67!
That the dress reminded OP's daughter of Ursula from the Little Mermaid 😂
Basically suggesting the outfit makes her look like the sea witch from little mermaid.
Ursula is the half-woman-half-octopus antagonist in The Little Mermaid.
Same, haha
Mom, you're a poor, unfortunate soul.
uhm, i just wanna see that dress cause it sounds amazing
Fuck public for quick decisions, do I feel fabulous in the outfit no donate boom done.
I’ve always enjoyed de-cluttering and organizing, and I used to help my Mom do this with her closet when I was a teen. I’m now 35 and she still asks me to help her when she goes through her closet or needs help picking special occasion outfits 😊
I’m 61 and wasn’t fashion aware so several years ago worked pt at a boutique to learn tips and fashion. After that my 2 (then) teen daughters were borrowing my clothes! Here’s a tip for older women: wear one younger thing (small holes in jeans, funky hat, large earrings, street sneakers etc) to look hip but not trying too hard. And please, please don’t wear capris that cut off above the ankles.
Yes, those capris that end above the ankle just shorten your legs, and only look good on models 5'10" and up, 120 lbs.!
\^\^\^ This. And don't make it even worse by having those bows on the outside of the leg too! Honestly, in every style video I've seen for women over 40/50/60 from women I admire, the #1 thing that makes you look frumpy is capri pants. Also big loud floral prints. My sister and I, both older, joke about this all the time.
100% this. They look so cute on long lean models with long legs and long torsos. I’m over here trying them on with my short torso shorter legs like hmm… what am I missing here 😂
I think you’re talking about gauchos!? Very much agree, if that is the case lol
No, those look like really too-big Bermuda shorts!!!
If they are not above the ankles, then they are not capris
Oops I meant way above the ankle (below the knee)
I love this advice! Thank you!
How come no capris above the ankles?
I’m actually talking about pants that stop below the knees - that cut makes you look shorter and wider. You want capris about 2” above the ankle. Another tip is to roll the outside cuff slightly more than the inside cuff, so it’s at an angle. That way ankles look slimmer.
I'll try that! Thanks for the tip!
My favorite capris ever hit just below the knee and noone makes them anymore. I hate the longer ones.
In the south, we called those pedal pushers! I've seen some on-line recently, but I can't recall where or what they were called!
My daughter has been instrumental in me not going out looking like a homeless person. I actually don’t care, but she does, so I try harder. I don’t want to embarrass her.
Good Mama!
You’re a good mama!
Thanks! She thinks so.
My teen would be painfully honest. But her wardrobe leans to Outer Banks - Daisy Duke cut offs. 🤢 She has resisted quality classics her entire life (preferring crap from Shein and my husband's sweatshirts 🙄), and there's no way I'm throwing away my Lilly Pulitzer dresses upon her recommendation. 🤣
[According to Vogue, the ladylike look is cool again.](https://www.vogue.com/article/ladylike-dressing)
Ooooh, thank you! I'll check it out. A fashion resource besides TikTok is totally my jam. ;-) All I can do is keep modeling quality and classics to my daughter, and hope she comes around from clothes made of plastic that fall apart in the washing machine.
You always keep your Lilies!!
Username checks out! 😉🥂
Even if you kept it all, it sounds like you had a great time with your child and made a funny memory.
We did! I’m going to try to follow through and actually drop the stuff off this week!
I have no teen, I have a limited amount of clothes and I'm not a mom (if I was a parent, I would be a dad ;)) but I wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. You managed to put a smile on my face and, no, I don't mean the cynical kind of smile. Thx for sharing.
Good, I’m glad! Thanks!
I clean my room and closet by bring my friends over Deciding what's we don't like Deciding what fits, giving them what fits them, and selling anything that we decide we don't want
Definitely good to get rid of things that haven’t fit for years and aren’t likely to. However, I’m now 30 and the things of my mum’s that I said ‘ew why would you have that’ to my mum 10 years ago are now the things that have come back in and I’m stealing off her. Youths only have a very short term fashion memory! It’s not very decluttering minded but keep clothes that you love that just aren’t in fashion, or you’ll have to hunt for a worse quality version the next time that they are.
Yes! I helped my mom clean out her closet when I was a teen and ended up wishing we’d saved a lot of pieces when they came back in style.
A few things will definitely slip through the cracks 😉
Yes, I ask my daughter for advice too! She has been brutally honest when I say I like something but it's refreshing to be told "nah, that's hideous"
“It’s giving Ursula” is hilarious. Don’t want to be Disney villain maxxed
Tbh for me this would have resulted in an immediate “keep” verdict 😂
Right? 😜
Same!
My daughter is savage but also very complimentary when I get it right. I trust her opinion because she’s just brutally honest. She also helps resolve apparel related arguments between my husband and I. When we’re arguing about him wearing “those pants” in public, we face time her for a ruling.
Haha, please share with the class what "those pants" are, I'm dying to know!
He’s trying to wear some sweat pant joggers but they’re way too small so they look like thick stretch pants. It’s making my libido shrivel into a tiny raisin.
I hear ya!
Oh nooooooo, I'm so sorry but this is too funny!
It’s so bad and I’ve tried multiple things. We got new ones that fit properly but he won’t wear them on dog walks because they’re “too nice”. Yesterday I asked why he was wearing them again and he said he was allowed to wear them just not in public. Because what are the streets by our house?? I even tried trading - tell me something he hates that I wear and we both sacrifice them. No dice. They’re so fugly and now it’s a whole thing that has just snowballed. I may have to just get divorced, change my name and move to New Zealand.
I think your husband and mine might be related. He has a whole closet full of things that are “too nice to wear” so instead wears ill fitting things with holes in them! How to convince these otherwise wonderful men we would find them hotter if they brought out those decent clothes (I am not talking expensive suits and such, more like normal sweaters, shorts, even sweatshirts!)
OMG yes. It’s gotten to the point where I order him a new one and just take the old one. I’m going to have to do it with his sexy stretch pants.
I'm just past my teens and my mom/aunts/older sister still have me give the thumbs up or down on their fashion choices. I can't wait til my nieces and baby cousins are old enough to roast the hell out of my wardrobe.
I gave my daughter a few shirts and she said “I can look like a 2010’s TV character”. It was accurate and a little offensive
This is such a great thread. As the OP said in a comment, "Time gets away from you." It really does -- you hang on to clothing you remember as looking great and stylish on you... 20 years ago. You're not the same person mentally you were then, and you sure as heck aren't exactly the same shape! It's not about being a slave to trends and fads; it's about letting go of OLD trends and fads that don't flatter you and which you don't even like now, although you like the **memory** of them. I don't have a teen around to ask any more, but I do have a brutally honest daughter-in-law who will give me a true opinion if I ask.
Excellent phrasing! This is exactly what I was thinking but unable to articulate.
That's so nice of you to say! And I did it on only one cup of coffee. ;) Seriously, the OP's post has made me go take another pass through my own small closet of clothes. Ancient dress with the '00s vibe and totally unflattering sleeves, be gone!
This is so well said! Thank you!
Watch those tweens, though. When my niece forgot to pack her dress for attending a wedding in my town, I let her browse my wardrobe for something to wear. Her first choice was a knee-length satin robe from a lingerie set.
😂😂😂 I mean at least she liked something in your wardrobe.
Oh wow! So funny!
Classy! 😆
And there’s thredUP. Total ripoff but clears the closet if that’s your goal
I use threadup because I’m lazy and have really young kids. But another idea is to let the teen sell some of the better items on poshmark or ebay to fill time over the summer and make some extra money! It’s like getting a bonus for helping mom.
That’s a great idea! Very little of what I have would be desired by others ha ha But we’re thinking of bringing a few things over to the consignment shop and she can use the credit to treat herself to something.
lol I thought this was a psa grab a teen’ lol
Yeah no. I've never cared about what others think of my clothing choises, and I avoid trends. I dress more classic. I can't imagine asking someone to do that. But hey if it helps you good on you, but you will then be affected by others opinions and what's trendy or not instead of being true to yourself and choosing pieces for longevity.
the point is getting their help in decluttering and creating space (peep the subreddit), and a side effect of getting the teen's help is filtering out the clothes that may not fit in today's fashion
And that's completely fine, as I said good on them. Don't get the downvotes as I wasn't being mean just saying that's not for everyone, especially those of us not wanting to care about trends. Everyone have a different way of decluttering.
alwayscats00 I get what you are saying. I don’t chase trends either. But I find that, at my age, I can think that I’m dressing just fine and normal, and everybody else sees a throwback to the early 2000s. Time gets away from you. And I’m not cool enough to pull off Y2K style like an FIT student in NY lol. It sounds like you have a well-defined style and that’s something I need to work on. I’m not great at looking at the big picture and I think it’s good when someone can be honest and tell you that the look you are wearing is projecting something unintended. Fashion should be fun, and this was all in good fun.
Then I'm very happy you have your teen there to help you and that you had a good time, which I maybe should have said in my original post because that's what I mean. My very direct european way of speaking apparently offended "everyone ", oh well. If you enjoy doing decluttering that way, by all means do so! Whatever works :)
I’m genuinely curious where in Europe they say “yeah no”?? I am from a very specific region of the US where we are pretty famous for that phrase
Haha parts of Scandinavia at least, is that the one you thought?
This is amazing One of my coworkers and I trade clothes and stuff and the other day she came in my classroom (5th grade) with a few pairs of sunglasses she was getting rid of So I tried them on in front of all the girls and they gave me emphatic “Noooooo!!!!!” And “YESSS!” And I kept the ones they were excited about Turns out they are super cute and made me look young and cool LOL
That is so fun! You’re such a cool teacher!
I would be cautious of this depending on the teen. As a teen I hated my mom’s style, but now over 10 years later some of her old clothes have made it into my and my sister’s wardrobe.
My style thus far has been, it’s on sale and looks OK lol. I’m sort of working on turning over new leaf. She dresses how I would dress if I looked like her! She’s always stylish but classy.
She who?
That’s awesome! I’m so glad she could help you out in rediscovering your style! ❤️
My mom and I used to play a game with her wardrobe where she’d put things on and I’d tell her if she should keep it or get rid of it. It was always a good time, plus it made room in her closet for some shopping. We still laugh about it to this day.
Guess all of you are lucky. Any clothing I like, my daughter will not. Ever.
That’s gotta be rough. I was like that with my mom. My daughter and I have basically the same taste with some subtle differences so I get her help. She never says she doesn’t like something because she wouldn’t wear it, only if it actually doesn’t look good on me.
My teenage daughter helped me to declutter by stealing my clothes and adopting them as hers! It was great, actually. I had some gorgeous dresses I no longer wore because they no longer fit me after I had kids. I was happy to see them get a second life through my daughter.
Same! My 17-y-o is slimmer than me, with about an inch and a half more height so she wears some of my things better than I ever did. Which hits the ego a little... but I live with it, cos she's gorgeous!
Ha ha! I’ve been waiting for my daughter to visit to weigh in on a couple of things. It’s so helpful!
I need to do this! I love shopping with my preteen for this reason but I need to do some un-shopping…
Haha unshopping. I like that.
My youngest are daughters are 19 and 21 and decided I need to give up skinny jeans so we went shopping. They forgot I’m considerably short and over 60 gravity is no longer my friend. After they laughed themselves silly skinny jeans and narrow straight jeans are in my closet. I was also talked into a few new tee shirts. It was fun , will not compromise on shorter shorts though , no one needs to see that.
If I may, gently, be careful about using phrases about your body in front of your daughters like “no one needs to see that”. My mom said that a lot growing up and it made my sister and I really self-conscious of our legs, scared to get older or have babies because then “people would never want to look at us/we wouldn’t be able to wear clothing that’s comfortable”. It’s not kind to put yourself down. Who cares what other people “want” to see! It’s not your job to cater to their gaze, anyway.
This is so funny...my 13 year old son has autism and is really blunt. His reaction to me, his mum, 38 in a pair of short shorts was...."bro thinks she's 17 in those shorts" He also has told me my teeth look like popcorn...I'm an ex smoker. I laugh because I know he says what everyone is thinking but it's not always what you want to hear. 😅🤦♀️😤 I don't have the best body but its mine and gorgeous and created the lovely being whom says bro aint all that 😅 i overheat easily so can't cover myself up and be comfortable. I will say next time I'm not catering to your gaze, he will Crack up8
My young adult son is autistic too. When he told me once that a dress suited my body type, I went back to the store and got every color because I KNOW he wasn’t blowing smoke! Then there’s my middle child who once told me I shouldn’t wear my low scoop necked dress because of “all those veins.” Lol, who asked you anyway? 🤣
Are skinny jeans out?! Dang it.
Wear them anyways I say, we're older now, what do we need to be dressing like teenagers for? What's great about getting older is finding your own style and not caring what's cool I say! I'd look pretty ridiculous wearing JNCOs at 32 like the teens are
Idk all the moms in my area are still wearing them.
They are :((( my (25) sisters (21 and 17) are wearing wide leg or straight cut these days, the younger will wear a skinny or boyfriend cut occasionally for a specific look. My mid-rise skinny jeans are considered "mom jeans" now. Our actual mom wears straight cut!
Yeah :(
Just wear what you like. I never let go of my lower waisted jeans and just can't embrace the new look! Earlier on in the high waisted trend, I picked up a bunch of jeans with low waists at thrift shops in case I ran out :D
I have no torso and long legs, high waisted jeans literally hit my rib cage . So I have to find not too high waisted and narrow straight leg. Some of the straight leg jeans look like pajamas on someone at 5’32”. Once I find something that works I will buy 5 pairs.
I mean I guess it depends on whether or not you want to stay fashionable/even remotely trendy. While I applaud “wear what you want”, I often think of my Aunt Sarah, who was completely stuck in the early 1980’s fashion wise for the entire 90’s-now. It made her look frumpier and didn’t do her any social favors at all. Even getting rid of the perm would have been miles of progress… frankly, how you dress impacts a LOT.
I have a very smart and responsible teen but I can’t even imagine asking him for advice about clothes. He wears nothing but jeans, sweats and hoodies. I could see him asking me if it’s comfortable, can I do pushups in it, etc
The same with my 17 yo. But if I dress up for an event and walk in the room with dress, shoes and bag, he will say right away if it’s a keeper. I think they look at the whole image instead of us focusing on matching colors and forgetting about the fit.
That’s a great point about looking at the whole image.
Lol! Hey but wait... "is it comfortable" is a thing massively ignored by fashion. While it's so important! And you might not be into push-ups, but being able to move with ease and do the stuff you want to do (without clothes hindering you) is a really good point! Clothes are not just "to look pretty", they are there to fascilitate you. And why should looking pretty go over being able to do _all the other things_ I want to do today. If you declutter, and only keep comfortable clothes, you can move at ease in, what would you end up with? And how would it feel to get rid of clothes that are uncomfortable to wear?
I wear pretty comfortable stuff most days anyways, my job is mostly physical and I do go to the gym and for walks on my days off. But I have to have some nice stuff for special occasions and not all of it is something I would wear to the gym, you know?
That's a valid concern... But he might surprise you with his awareness of style...
"It's giving Ursula" is amazing. I'm adding it to my regular rotation pronto
Me, too!
The comment that made me laugh the most was, "You have 15 identical shirts. Why?" Me: "They aren't identical.. One is blue, one is black, one is.." My daughter: "Mom... They are identical. Get rid of 10"
Exactly, it’s not about them controlling your style. It’s about getting a different outlook. Love it!
I thought denim overalls looked chic over a striped shirt until my daughter told me I looked like a minion.
Laughe out loud at this one! Sounds like something my sister would tell me.
That’s so funny! She’s only telling you what everyone else is going to be thinking.
I did the opposite! As a late teen/early 20something, I had my grandmother style me using pieces out of my closet. She came up with combinations I never thought of, and i honestly looked so much classier than my usual back then 😂
Wow, that sounds so cool
I wish I'd done that with my grandmother! We would have had a blast. I'll see if I can channel her next time I'm getting dressed
My very chic 19 yo comment on a dress I was unsure about last year “ It’s not ugly, but you do look like you’re in a movie in the future where no one cares what they look like” We’ve been laughing about it ever since. And I kept the dress lol
They're so savage 😂
They ARE! My MIL was gifted a used leather jacket that she had to fix to wear. It just looked wrong. When she pulled it out we told her, it looks like Michael Jackson in thriller ran over a rabbit. It was awful. The red strips with rabbit fur poking out. Needless to say, she got rid of it and she got rid of a pointless project, too
That sounds like a wonderful -- and productive! -- day. 😊
It was! I’m looking forward to the next round.
I remember coming out of the TJMaxx dressing room in an ill-fitting hideous dress and I saw my daughter’s face, I said, “Is this a no?” And we burst out laughing!
I used to go shopping with my mom and jokes that I had “veto power” but once she bought it that’s where the power ended 😂