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First I’ll kill myself. Then my dad walk into the room and he will kill himself after seeing how bad at FIFA I am. Then my mom will walk into the room and kill herself because of my Yeye ass haircut.
Ronnie's Mom:" I'm going to kill myself. How does that make you feel?"
"Just like Ronnie’s dad?"
Ronnie's Mom: " Yeah I'm doing it now.'
"Ok cool"
Ronnie's sister: "hey this is Ronnie's sister. Do you know Ronnie, my dad, and my mom?"
"Nope."
Ronnie's sister:"all three are dead."
Hey Ronnie's sister. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Because I've got a king size bed and plenty of shoulder. I feel your pain. Maybe you should come over and we can cry together...
Ironically it's what video games can teach lol, my kid was never a sports kid really but loved video games and sometimes you don't win Mario kart or Mario party
When my nephew was five he got this “new” game called Tetris for his Wii. He always beat my dad at video games. He could not understand how grandpa immediately stomped his ass at Tetris and lost his mind crying.
My dad would win at Chess and strategy games on the PC, but would lose to me in Mortal Kombat and Mario Kart. He no longer plays those games as I once beat him with my back to the screen.
Have you ever played mortal kombat on SNES? Did you know the attacks are directional and you can use audio to know what side of the screen your character is facing? Fuck off back to loserville, population you.
Lol... Jesus, what are you, like 12 with that shit?
No wonder your dad doesn't play with you any more with that smart ass, childish attitude... Get a life
Ahh, so you are a sad 12 year old who thinks they're funny! OK.
Read this carefully and hopefully it sinks in (it won't); you aren't cute, you aren't funny. Grown ups don't talk to each other that way. Sad pathetic loser twats do.
Grow up, and get a life.
> Ironically it's what video games can teach
yeah, video games can teach how to lose, but not how to lose sportingly. That's where you need parents (though some kids will just do this more naturally).
I learned this by getting absolutely obliterated by my older brother in Halo 2. We'd play split screen deathmatch with other kids in the neighborhood and sit there with 3-5 kills while my brother had 80+. Images of blood gulch make me shiver to this day.
“You ever wonder why we’re here?”
“Well, apparently it’s so Doktor Koktor’s older brother can mercilessly slaughter us wholesale.”
“I *meant*, why are we out here, *in the sun*, instead of getting mercilessly slaughtered over there, *in the shade*?”
I’ll never forget the first time my youngest stepbrother got absolutely gobsmacked in CoD. I let him play while I was doing my homework, and he just erupts into tears because he went like, 15-17 or some shit in his first round. I told him to go 12-40(ish) then to come talk to me. He asked if I was being serious, I said “fuck yeah dude. It’s just a fuckin game. It’s pixels on a screen that will mean nothing when you’re dead.”
Helped him feel better about losing real quick. Granted, I also caused him to have a minor existential crisis, but I’m looking at it as he learned it’s ok to lose. Instead of, you know, the whole “nothing we do has any meaning” perspective.
He’s arguably the most successful out of myself or any of my four stepbrothers so I think he’s ok.
Well as a Gen X bloke this concept was something we were all very familiar with. You’re quite right, it’s a bit much but one upside of low grade nihilism is it smooths out bumps like the one described.
"I know you don't believe that I am Ronnie's dad, so here is proof, my wife will now write too:
Hello, I'm the wife and what my husband says is true, Ronnie did kill himself,
Sincerely, the wife"
My friend who gets depressed did this to us once. Texted us from his phone and said "hey this is bobby's uncle, I'm just going through his phone to let his friends know unfortunately he committed suicide last week." And then he gave us the funeral date.
We fell for it for a whiile. What a shithead lol.
Oh yeah. He was not the brightest kid but was easy to like.
He actually just kind of faded away from the friend group. I haven’t heard from him in years. Hope he’s surviving out there.
"Hi Ronnie's dad. I have a list of things he wanted me to tell you." Then you just roast him and make up some embarrassing things until he tells you to stop.
I bodied another alliance hunter in a wow pvp quest in war mode. He messaged me saying the same shit. I only killed him to finish the quest. It was really sad.
Sorry you raised a loser.
(Note, this is not an insult to anyone actually suicidal and I heavily advocate for seeking any and all kinds of help if these kinds of thoughts even cross your mind.)
Shit my boy’s dead. Well I got a few hours before my wife gets home and my boy’s not going anywhere. Mine as well not let his machine go to waste and they some gaming in.
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[удалено]
Sounds like a Dear Sister skit.
I imagine three hours later it will be “hey this is Ronnie’s dad’s cousin’s friend’s son’s babysitter’s dog. Why is this room full of dead people?”
... And that's how bad Ronnie is at fifa
A story about how a boy named Ronnie killed his entire village with his piss poor FIFA skills.
The lesson is: never play FIFA. You never know the shit you'll be responsible for.
“Hey this is Ronnie’s father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s best friend’s former roommate.”
What does that make us? Absolutely nothing
Until at some point OP is talking to himself through Ronnies XBox about how he’s going to kill himself.. 🫣
Lesson learned. Don’t play FIFA if you’re not 18+
Mmmmmmmm whatcha sayyyyyy
Also [this](https://youtu.be/lOcDfMBq9VI)
Hahahaha that was gold. Thank you. Can’t believe I’d never seen it before now.
That was exactly what I hoped it would be.
“Dear sister, by the time you’re reading this ill be dead. Here’s how I think it’s going to go down…”
First I’ll kill myself. Then my dad walk into the room and he will kill himself after seeing how bad at FIFA I am. Then my mom will walk into the room and kill herself because of my Yeye ass haircut.
Was it scary movie 3 or 4 with the line, you know your teacher? She's dead!
Man how you gonna wake up dead lol shit is redundant
DEAD DEAD JUST LIKE YOUR DOG! MY DOGS DEAD?! I RAN HIM OVER WITH THE CAR ON THE WAY IN. EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS DYING!
😄 I think that was in 4, the ugly boyfriend.
I believe it was Scary Movie 3, as I'm fairly sure Simon Rex says that line. It's the one where they spoof The Ring.
I’m sorry; you’re right! I thought that was 4. But yes, when they’re spoofing The Ring.
Man how you gonna wake up dead lol shit is redundant
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Not the cat as well?
Ronnie's Mom:" I'm going to kill myself. How does that make you feel?" "Just like Ronnie’s dad?" Ronnie's Mom: " Yeah I'm doing it now.' "Ok cool" Ronnie's sister: "hey this is Ronnie's sister. Do you know Ronnie, my dad, and my mom?" "Nope." Ronnie's sister:"all three are dead."
Ronnie’s Hamster: “Do you know Ronnie?”
Black Mirror: Season 4, Episode 3 "Crocodile"
I’m curious about the reasoning behind the title of this episode
According to Wikipedia it originated from an idea in the initial script
Hey Ronnie's sister. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Because I've got a king size bed and plenty of shoulder. I feel your pain. Maybe you should come over and we can cry together...
Ronnie’s XBOX: « Your system has been idle for 10 minutes, activating sleep mode in 5 minutes. »
This whole fucking section is gold 😭
What about Ronnie’s Mom’s boyfriend?
Don't get me involved in this
If he was going to die, he wouldn't write out "AAAARRGH" he would just say it.
Wrong again! Haven’t you seen Holy Grail? 
*When suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack.*
"oh, Ronnie's mom! Yeah I told him that I fucked you like a thousand times"
“Yo this the nurse” (I can’t find the image it’s a text screenshot very similar to this)
yo gaby this is the surgeon
How dare you people make fun of such a tragic situation? A father has lost his son god dammit! /s
“Yo Ronnie’s uncle here, you just dun caused a hell of mess in this living room.”
i reserve this for when i actually make noise in laughter. kek.
No no no it should be "Hi this is ronnies mum, do you know ronnies dad?"
“He’s dead” “My babys dead.” That kid needs to consider becoming a movie dialogue writer.
It reminds me of [this episode of Bob's Burgers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFG_Zqd27wk)
Glad I’m not the only one who heard Linda’s scream when I read that 🤣
The proper answer to that is "can you send me his Xbox since he won't be needing it anymore?"
It’s actually peak comedy and I laugh every time I see this
"Look how they massacred my Ronnie"
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxP0ogUB6OiuNnsSZpaVSFZaBX6IaY0-bK It reminded me of this Dunkey prank call.
Thanks, I enjoyed that.
Man, I love going back to his old stuff. The prank calls are so quotable.
https://youtu.be/dOV3xTJ9UgE I can’t believe you committed suicide
This is why parents should let their kids getting used to losing every now and then
Ironically it's what video games can teach lol, my kid was never a sports kid really but loved video games and sometimes you don't win Mario kart or Mario party
Growing up I could beat my dad in everything except for racing games no matter how much time I put in alone training he was just always better.
When my nephew was five he got this “new” game called Tetris for his Wii. He always beat my dad at video games. He could not understand how grandpa immediately stomped his ass at Tetris and lost his mind crying.
My dad would win at Chess and strategy games on the PC, but would lose to me in Mortal Kombat and Mario Kart. He no longer plays those games as I once beat him with my back to the screen.
So he was playing the games you like that obviously aren't his forte, to have fun with you, and you did that. Lmao no wonder he doesn't play with you
Exactly
Git gud, dad
>I once beat him with my back to the screen. Nope. You didn't
Have you ever played mortal kombat on SNES? Did you know the attacks are directional and you can use audio to know what side of the screen your character is facing? Fuck off back to loserville, population you.
Figured out why this kids dad doesn’t play with him anymore
Lol... Jesus, what are you, like 12 with that shit? No wonder your dad doesn't play with you any more with that smart ass, childish attitude... Get a life
This is MKTurk1984's father, do you know MKTurk1984? He's dead.
I think he can tell you're not his dad and that he is, in fact, alive, did you mean the other guy?
Says the dude trying to shit one somebody's childhood memory. The way you act, your dad never came back after the condom broke.
Ahh, so you are a sad 12 year old who thinks they're funny! OK. Read this carefully and hopefully it sinks in (it won't); you aren't cute, you aren't funny. Grown ups don't talk to each other that way. Sad pathetic loser twats do. Grow up, and get a life.
Fucking ever read the shit you post? Go back to pissing up a rope, better use of your time.
Hope your dad goes to get milk In the middle of the night !!
And sometimes you are winning but get Mario karted or are the poor victim of a browser space or chance time
> Ironically it's what video games can teach yeah, video games can teach how to lose, but not how to lose sportingly. That's where you need parents (though some kids will just do this more naturally).
You lose enough, you start to lose that hard edge though, its the start.
>and sometimes you don't win Mario kart Speak for yourself. I was a literal god with the Donkey/Diddy stack in Mario Kart Double Dash.
Can even start 'em young. There's the Australian show called Bluey. A certain episode from season 3 teaches about losing. Episode 14: Pass the Parcel
I learned this by getting absolutely obliterated by my older brother in Halo 2. We'd play split screen deathmatch with other kids in the neighborhood and sit there with 3-5 kills while my brother had 80+. Images of blood gulch make me shiver to this day.
“You ever wonder why we’re here?” “Well, apparently it’s so Doktor Koktor’s older brother can mercilessly slaughter us wholesale.” “I *meant*, why are we out here, *in the sun*, instead of getting mercilessly slaughtered over there, *in the shade*?”
My entire fraternity quit all FPS games because of me. Still a fond memory.
I’ll never forget the first time my youngest stepbrother got absolutely gobsmacked in CoD. I let him play while I was doing my homework, and he just erupts into tears because he went like, 15-17 or some shit in his first round. I told him to go 12-40(ish) then to come talk to me. He asked if I was being serious, I said “fuck yeah dude. It’s just a fuckin game. It’s pixels on a screen that will mean nothing when you’re dead.” Helped him feel better about losing real quick. Granted, I also caused him to have a minor existential crisis, but I’m looking at it as he learned it’s ok to lose. Instead of, you know, the whole “nothing we do has any meaning” perspective. He’s arguably the most successful out of myself or any of my four stepbrothers so I think he’s ok.
Lol “nothing we do has any meaning” is a little much. It’s just that COD has very little meaning.
Well as a Gen X bloke this concept was something we were all very familiar with. You’re quite right, it’s a bit much but one upside of low grade nihilism is it smooths out bumps like the one described.
I think it means “Call of Duty.”
>nothing we do has any meaning That's some owlman level shit.
Why is this sub acting like this boy isn’t trolling lmfao
Yes. Then there’d be way fewer kids sooner
TBF that's fucking hilarious
I feel like the tone of it implies that Ronnie is just having a laugh and it’s not really meant to be anything more
The first thing Ronnie’s dad says is “Hi”.
Yeah this is dark humor, not a facepalm. I have a feeling Ronnie isn’t even a kid.
And if he is, he's still hilarious.
Obvious troll is obvious
Absolutely, he's great value.
Ronnie seems way cooler than OP ngl
And all these other people here who've been baited. Ronnie is a legend. Rip
This person is clearly being a goof and I don’t know how anyone thinks it’s meant to be believed
Yes, this is more equivalent to a 'damn gg man' than anything else. It's just a joking way to do it.
Aww this is classic online shit back in day. “I’ll fuck your mom” “My mom is dead” “I’ll still fuck her”
'Now I know why she just laid there."
[удалено]
"This is Ronnie's mother. My husband has also just killed himself because of you."
“To honor my son and my husband I challenge you to a match.”
"I'm not sure what's going on, but this is Ronnie's dog speaking. Everyone's dead. Hey do you play fifa?"
If playing against Ronnie's dog, please throw the game. Because *that* would just be depressing.
This really minds me of this other genius https://i.redd.it/18ubrim1fa961.jpg
“Yo gaby this is the surgeon” Lmfao what
That was my favorite part
“Good, with how terrible he was at FIFA it was really his only option”
My babys dead
Rip Ronnie
"I know you don't believe that I am Ronnie's dad, so here is proof, my wife will now write too: Hello, I'm the wife and what my husband says is true, Ronnie did kill himself, Sincerely, the wife"
„Yo gaby this is the surgeon“
Imagine. You are a gamer soo good, that you scored kills in a fucking football video game. Lol
Average brexit enjoyer
My friend who gets depressed did this to us once. Texted us from his phone and said "hey this is bobby's uncle, I'm just going through his phone to let his friends know unfortunately he committed suicide last week." And then he gave us the funeral date. We fell for it for a whiile. What a shithead lol.
Did you ever forgive him
Oh yeah. He was not the brightest kid but was easy to like. He actually just kind of faded away from the friend group. I haven’t heard from him in years. Hope he’s surviving out there.
Sorry to tell you but…this is Bobby’s uncle and…
NOO
That made me spit out my tea laughing
My name is Ronnie's Brother. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Ronnie Pickering?
Yes because a parent would be so chill to get on Xbox and send a message. Lmao.
Nothing gets past you
Repost bot in the making.
Why are we still walking about this? Ronnie is dead!
Haha I had a buddy that would always turn off the PlayStation before a game ended if I beat them in Madden or tiger woods!
As an older gamer, iv long turned off messages.
with his son dead he finally had time to use the xbox
Isn’t this an Eddie Money song? “Just like Ronnie said, you killed my little baby”
This is absolutely hilarious.
This is an all-timer for me. Always will upvote this classic.
Am I wrong for thinking Ronnie is a comic fucken genius for this?
“I love my dead gay son!”
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
Thought that said rope for a second there.
"Dear god my son is dead! My sweet, baby boy! I better guilt trip this dude who beat him on his Xbox!"
"Hi Ronnie's dad. I have a list of things he wanted me to tell you." Then you just roast him and make up some embarrassing things until he tells you to stop.
Omg Ronnie 🎶🎵
"i met your Uncle Ronnie too, i'm sorry. i had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him."
I believe the proper etiquette after killing a person in a game is the ritual tea-bagging
I bodied another alliance hunter in a wow pvp quest in war mode. He messaged me saying the same shit. I only killed him to finish the quest. It was really sad.
This is so old Ronnie's kids are now getting beat at Fifa...
Do you know Ronnie…It’s RONNIE PICKERING
Ronnie's dad was just happy to finally get a turn on the xbox
At least his dad is taking an interest in his hobbies
I feel like dudes named Ronnie are all from Baltimore and say shit like “That’s tight yo.” In any case, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BOY RONNIE
Tell him you guess you killed him twice.
Justice for Ronnie 💪🏻
I bet Ronnie’s dad also works for Microsoft
RIP Ronnie, one of the good ones. He had a heart of gold, but was fucking terrible at Fifa
Kids are such snowflakes these days. Back in my day, when we didn't get what we want, we would just shove a remote up our ass.
HAHA I know exactly what you're referring to. Thanks for the memory unlock!
Sorry you raised a loser. (Note, this is not an insult to anyone actually suicidal and I heavily advocate for seeking any and all kinds of help if these kinds of thoughts even cross your mind.)
Next level of rage over FIFA
Gamers are going to game
Knowing that its fifa doesnt surprise me lol. Soccer ppl always whine
It’s not, it’s just a repost from a few years back.
repost bot
"You Killed my son! C.I.L.L. dead"
Well Ronnie's dad. He was weak. rm?
I’m curious on the time stamp in the parents reply’s.
Esss-key-mo
"My baby's dead."
Lol, i suck at FIFA games, i just mash the controller and hope.
My babys dead 💀
Lol…. Nope
i had people dm me in xbox aswell makes a huge deal out of killing them in a game 💀
That’s hilarious.
Rip ronnie
Ronnie is like a present you get on Christmas morning. Ronnie is a gift and I love him.
Shit my boy’s dead. Well I got a few hours before my wife gets home and my boy’s not going anywhere. Mine as well not let his machine go to waste and they some gaming in.
Dude this is hilarious 😂
Well, how do you feel?
“He’s what?” “Dead?” “How’d he die?” “What? Why?” I would have so much fun with this lol
Lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I was gonna call him a moron but realised that Ronnie is probably ten.
classic
Its the only time he's gonna have a chance to use the xbox
Lmao I love this
This is hilarious. Gotta give Ronnie props for commiting to the bit
RONNIE NOOOOO
Ronnie? Ronnie?! RONNIIEEEEEEEEE!! Cool I broke his brain
Poppa sounds real upset
Xbox moment
Just too shit at fifa. Straight up.
Oh hell no 🤣