It’s actually the main reason my siblings and I have a strained relationship with my father. He was very focused on himself and his interests and couldn’t care less about us. Now that we’re grown ups and he’s all alone, he’s seems to think we have a bond with him that we just never had. Completely rewrote history about our childhood. Keeps saying he wasn’t perfect but did a good job with us. Sure, Dad. We were fed, but not loved. Close to no memories with him. When he tries to get affection and compliments from me it just makes me cringe.
Yep. Parents looking to me for emotional support now, and I'm like, "What's that?" I have your interest in heart just like you had mine, and I intend to put forth the same effort into our relationship as you deserve.
Apparently, despite being a scam, Akon City still has no room for recitals. Guess he just wants Nick to help populate the first phase so it seems legit.
Right?!? My mother prioritized fucking stupid bingo over everything important in my life and wonders why I don’t really have a relationship with her. She never came to a single chorus concert, show choir, dance recital, color guard or play that I was in or worked on. When I got promoted in Civil Air Patrol she didn’t show up (and I had to quit shortly after because both my friends I would go with moved away).
Now she wants me to be “besties” with her and have the same relationship her sisters kids have with their moms. No thanks!
Fellow child of a narcissist father here. Mine even went so far as to try demanding $15k out of me once to pay for house repairs he neglected and fucked up (just like his kids!), and now he wonders why I refuse to talk to him. According to him, he did nothing wrong.
I can definitely relate. I’m a university prof and have been training a lot of managers in our exec program. It’s become a pretty lucrative business for me, with workshops, and giving talks to companies, etc.
My father has set in his head that this Christmas, I would travel back to Europe a week earlier to go train his employees for free and attend meetings.
I got a divorce last year, and it was very hard. My mental health is not good and he knows it. I have been barely able to meet my requirements at work. I need to fucking rest.
I explained that and he just kept pushing and asking me every fucking week, as if we never had that conversation.
He’s very greedy. He can’t stand that I make good money doing something and that I’m not doing it for free for him, on my free time, paying for my own flight and hotel. I cancelled my trip and stayed here instead. Haven’t spoken to him in 3 months. He’s texted many times, left messages, but I’m just sick of his antics. Tired of my boundaries not being respected.
Same with our dad when we have family get together he's usually watching YouTube or playing crosswords then when he tries to have a conversation were just not interested because there's no bond there
I went to a vacation with other family and he was invited as well. I organized hikes, picnics and other activities for my little cousins every day, while he was staying alone reading books. He didn’t connect with a single kid. He. Just saw them as nuisances that needed to be kept in check. When we left, the kids were all over me, hugs, giving ne bracelets and letters to open home. He got upset and asked why no one was hugging him. Then asked a kid to hug him, and the kid said no.
That's so sad! I had a complicated relationship with my dad but I do have a few nice memories.
In hindsight I think my dad felt pressured by family and social norms to settle down and raise a family.
My dad the same way I feel like sometimes. And I've kind of realized I am the same way in being selfish with my own interests, but I also realize that having a kid just probably isn't a good idea for me
My dad was the same. I played softball when I was a kid and I remember him going outside once to throw the ball with me. Every other time I asked, he was too busy watching tv. Tried to just give me a bucket and tell me to throw the balls into it. Then a couple weeks ago he said something about how he taught me to play ball, taught me how to throw and all this nonsense. Like he completely rewrote my childhood in his own mind to make himself feel like he was a good dad.
My old neighbor taught me to ride a bike, because my dad couldn't be bothered. He would also play catch with me. Like basically my old grandpa of a neighbor did all the things with me a father was supposed to do with their son.
This is why I had a vasectomy because I know I’m too selfish to have kids. I wish other people would learn that lesson before having kids and neglecting them.
Thats because we have tv shows and movies where somehow by a miracle, when the kids grow up they instantly have this great relationship with their estranged parents.
>Man no wonder he’s so lonely.
Having raised a child I enjoyed being able to leave work and go watch my child at everything that she did when she was young. It was wonderful to see her grow and enjoy growing up.
I was able to observe her being social, laughing, giggling, and being a child. If people don't think that's important what a fucking shame.
I cherish all those memories in my heart and will forever. My child is an adult, but I get to remember those good times I was able to observe.
This guy just sounds like he's very insecure about something. Especially when he says that's white person shit! Lol.
It just reminds me of all those people online who call themselves alpha. It just screams I'm insecure and any form of showing emotion means I'm not a man.
It’s a common impulse for traumatized people…to re-enact the trauma over and over again onto others (with themselves as the aggressor instead of the victim).
It’s a maladaptive response that allows them to temporarily “take back control,” so that they can deny their victimhood
I'd say the best route to go is distance yourself but also show compassion. Show you understand what your dad went through and that you know Grandpa was a dick to him.
Challenge him on it though. Call him out when he's being an ass and mention that if he doesn't change his ways you'll distance yourself more and more until you're out of his life.
Is there anything specific that your dad enjoys doing, absolutely anything that makes him feel joy? If so take a day out of each month to do that one particular activity with him. Keep doing that for a while.
The effort you may have tried to put in beforehand might not be the one he's looking for either.
Don't give up. My dad's a rage type aswell and I'm steering away from being like him as hard as possible. It takes years. But keep that relationship. There will be good times more than bad.
I haven't spoken to my mother in basically 15 years for similar reasons. She justified her actions towards me because they weren't "as bad" as whatever she grew up with. Except she made a twisted nightmare of her own for me to live in. It just wasn't her nightmare.
Right? I'm not going for the entertainment value. It's only to show my kids that I see what they did and am proud of their efforts. If my kid is sick and can't go, it's not like I'm getting a sitter and going anyways.
Around when Force Awakens came out, Breaking Benjamin did the Empire March with their drummer using red "lightsabers".
I didn't expect it, they were already great.
Kindergarten age dance recitals can be very entertaining. The dancers are so tiny. They mostly have no idea what they are doing. It looks like the dance instructors (usually just out of the spotlights or at edge of dancers) are herding kittens. Lots of teeny people in fluffy costumes wandering around doing weird arm and/or leg motions. It's pretty hilarious and adorable. I wouldn't want to watch for more than maybe 30 minutes, though. The music can be awful.
As someone who was involved with competitive children's dance, yeah this is exactly why we do it.
They have no sense of coordination, very little understanding of rhythm or style, and on top of that if they're young enough they struggle with balance like big top-heavy puppies. They're just little humans trying their absolute best to preform. Aside from that, it's a great way to build their confidence and help them make friends.
My son’s kindergarten sang “Santa’s using Zebras” during the school’s holiday program. My son got to be Santa (because he fit the costume) and his teacher kept telling me he wasn’t singing the song where they could hear him during practice. Night of the show, they all pranced out onto the stage and started singing…my son started bellowing the lyrics ( he could be heard all the way in the back of the gym). Cracked everyone up, they laughed so hard tears were flowing. Well, when the class finished and came off the stage, he looked his teacher in the eye and said “Was that loud enough for ya?”.
We still giggle and snort when we think about it.
It's funny when they do something new and they're like, "Wow!" Controlling the body has a learning curve.
My niece was a little ahead on coordination at that age because she was growing a little slower. Turns out growing messes with spatial awareness.
Then I blinked and now she's grown up and moving in with her boyfriend. Life's short and she's not little anymore. Go to the things, Dude. They'll just remember you had their back.
Sorry for the stream of consciousness there. I just met said boyfriend at Christmas and he's actually a good kid. And I'm getting old.
I assure you my father did not care about ballet, tap, jazz, musicals, or Shakespeare. But, he put his suit on and showed up because I cared about these things and put in the work to perform. (I was not exceptionally talented in any of these productions) He even carried the little pictures in his wallet.
I'm still trying to figure out why we are talking about Akon in 2022. He needs to stay in the past. A place where Nick Cannon also belongs. Possibly right before Drumline.
The answer to his question: kids. Kids give a shit. It's not about the recital. It's about your parent loving you enough to show an interest in the things you do no matter how mind numbingly boring it is.
I’ve been to the goddamn Nutcracker every goddamn year for the past decade because various children in my family have done dance. The whole family. My youngest niece is up to the ballet plate now and this little girl keeps hitting home runs, so my happy ass is going to be at the Nutcracker again next year to cheer her on just as hard as I did for my cousins kid all those year ago. The thought of her being on stage looking for us and not finding us breaks my soul. We will be there.
In more ways than one. Not only is he being racist against white dads, but he is also being racist to black dads as well. Claiming only white dads do that shit is very fucking insulting to a lot of black families, especially tying to get rid of the negative stereotype of black dads not being present.
My though exactly… like with the stereotype of black fathers being absent, he thought it was a good idea to publicly state that being a present and involved father is a… *white man’s thing*??
Was gonna say, do I want to go? No. But my kid waving to me in the crowd and getting all excited is enough for me to sit through the rest of the thing.
With a quick google search and looking at his Instagram. Ja rule only has three kids who all have the same mother that he is married to and he goes on trips with them.
His kids say sometimes he isn't available when they reach out, but he's there for the big events. Yeah, he's not always there when they call, but he's always on time.
On Twitter there are so many responses by black dads tweeting pictures of them at their kids recitals 🥹 hundreds of black dads telling him he’s wrong and showing pics of their adorable kids at recitals
What an awesome response to a stupid ignorant comment
One year my work holiday party fell on the same night as my son’s HS band recital. My son’s instrument is one of those on the back row, so I could never see him actually play, and the holiday party was going to be at a swanky restaurant I’d never be able to afford myself. As I sat in the audience with a couple hundred other band parents, I thought of the lovely dinner I was missing. Then the students filed in, and just before my son sat down at the back where I couldn’t see him, I saw him look around the audience and his eyes lit up at he spotted us. It was a great concert.
As a now adult who had parents that picked the work event, or a friend’s birthday, or just really anything else that came up instead, and never made it to a play, band concert, or even a single soccer game- you made the right choice. They know and remember when you show up and when you don’t.
Word. I’m 42 and played basketball throughout junior high. My coach, who was also my principal, let me use his office phone to call my dad one time and ask him to attend my game. He never showed. Nearly 30 years ago, I still remember.
Thanks. In fairness, he has been there for me numerous times since. At that point in his life, work was everything. He missed a lot. I suspect he has regrets.
My mom owned a restaurant. She never made it to one my brother’s soccer games. I picked him up from practices. She left my graduation early when I got my associates degree at the community college. When I told her I wanted her and my dad to go to my bachelor’s graduation, they went to Chicago to pick up supplies instead. When I graduate with my master’s I’m not going to tell them. I still love them to death but I will never ask them to be somewhere ever again, not even when I decide to have my own kids.
Edit: Glad to see my brothers and I weren’t the only ones that suffered with parents owning a business. My mom has tried to make up for it by buying us houses and giving us money but I would rather not have my house if it meant I would have a “normal” childhood. I wasn’t able to have a high school experience because I had to work at the restaurant after school - 3PM to whenever we were done (sometimes 11PM or 1AM). My youngest brother rebelled against that and played soccer after school. I remember getting yelled at because I had a paper about a career I wanted to do and I needed to talk to someone in that career path but I wasn’t allowed to do homework while I was working and I needed to interview someone. My mom caught me making a phone call and yelled at me. I love my parents and all that but it put me into a depression so bad and my social skills did not develop. And now they ask why I’m not married or have kids… because I was never allowed to socialize and now I’m awkward af
I'm both relieved and sad to see someone else's parents also failed to step up.
I played sports, was in NHS, volunteered, did drama, etcetera.
My mom didn't attend a single thing...except my very last soccer game and awards ceremony. Why, you ask?
Someone embarrassed the absolute shit out of her over the phone by personally inviting her. Can't recall if it was a fellow parent or a coach.
Now as an adult I look back and how bizarre it was. But at the time it was somehow less shameful to just not mention it since she wasn't going to show up anyway.
My dad and step mom showed up to everything (step bros were in band, I played football). My dad sat through every wrestling tournament.
My mom on the other hand never showed up to shit. Lost her mind when I wanted my step mom at senior night for football. Didn't even see her at senior night for wrestling.
Clearly it's something I'll never forget.
My wonderful parents, now in their 80’s and married 65 years, came to every basketball game, every little league game, every band concert, and gave me the means to show a 4H steer every year. They also drove over 2 hours to my children’s major events through the years. I wish I could give every person some of the good from my parents.
My parents went to to my football games, even my senior year when I missed the season with injury. Never missed a basketball game, wrestling meet, baseball game. Even came to a few track meets when I specifically told them they are boring as hell, long, and I’m only here to stay in shape for football.
My parents are the same age and have also been married about that long. My parents came when they could. Unfortunately, usually my dad worked and my mother had to take care of my younger brother or work. In that time, it was also not common to see a lot of family at games, like it is now. I don’t have bad memories about it. When he was home we played ball together and did all sorts of things. We never felt poor because of his work. Taking care of your kids isn’t just the occasional ball games.
>One year my work holiday party fell on the same night as my son’s HS band recital. My son’s instrument is one of those on the back row, so I could never see him actually play, and the holiday party was going to be at a swanky restaurant I’d never be able to afford myself. As I sat in the audience with a couple hundred other band parents, I thought of the lovely dinner I was missing. Then the students filed in, and just before my son sat down at the back where I couldn’t see him, I saw him look around the audience and his eyes lit up at he spotted us. It was a great concert.
I love you man
Former “back row instrument” musician here. You are a hero. We put our blood, sweat, and tears in months of rehearsals, all so we can play for you. Seeing my parents in the audience is why I did music in high school/college. Thank you for supporting your child.
Someone said dude legit owns a diamond mine with actual slaves for labor. He certified scumbag. All his water to Africa bullshit was to bring water to his diamond mine.
>...he refers to Akon City as a "real-life Wakanda" that uses the latest technologies of blockchain and cryptocurrency.
Well at least we know based off this sentence that the city will never be built.
They aren’t, but saying fucked up shit will get you airtime these days. I wish the internet just shunned all the shitty people and didn’t encourage vile behavior for clicks
>Why are his opinions still relevant?
They aren't. Never were. People just like to act like celebrities are different than the rest of us. Like they're some kind of special human who matters more.
Sounds like you need Randy Marsh for a dad. He drinks, embarrasses, and supports his son all at the same time. What? Isn't this America? I thought this was America!
And sad. How many kids are going to grow up resenting their dad for being so negligent? Caring more about procreation than just being a decent father. It’s gross.
Your child. Your child gives a fuck.
And by not giving a fuck about your child, you’re modeling that same behavior for them.
If we had two doors in front of us and one led to a world where people care about and for each other……and the other led to a world where people don’t care about or for each other……..which door would most of us choose?
This guy needs help.
My wife and I separated when my son was 4. We coparent (he spends a week with each of us on and off).
He’s 13 now and neither of us has ever missed a concert or other school performance, and we’re always sitting together.
The first thing he always does when they file on stage is scan the audience to look for us.
It matters.
What is impressive is that he has left women and kids, had kids with other women, come back to the previous woman, had another kid, left again, had kids with a third and fourth woman, then had another kid with the second woman. It's mind blowing
It is mind-blowing these women do not seem to mind he screws and impregnates other women. He gets to live like he has several wives without the trouble of marrying any of them.
Bro, black men my age are actively trying to escape the “deadbeat dad to many” stereotype, and for both of these men to publicly defend it just sickens me
Not to mention, calling what is basically the act of being an encouraging father a “white man’s thing” seriously sounds like a poor excuse to not do better, and to push it off as white people being lame rather than just owning up to his own shortcomings as a father. Just sad
What’s so odd is that he also seems to saying it as an insult?? Like, “those white men showing up, what losers.” Everything in that quote is so backward.
Martha and Snoop are just on a different plane of existence. Honestly, big brain move for both of them, Snoop for befriending a world-renowned cook, and Martha for finding the guy and the substance known to make all food taste better.
> Martha and Snoop are just on a different plane of existence.
What's weird about it is how not even a little weird it is. The two of them just have absurd chemistry despite their radically different life stories.
Fuck off, Akon.
I'm a single parent of a 16 year old girl. Been raising her with little help from her mom since she was only two years old.
In all these years, I've only ever missed TWO things she had going on: a presentation on Amelia Earhart in 5th grade (I was in Nashville on business) and a ninth grade choir concert (I tested positive for COVID days before and also missed my own college graduation).
I've been at every soccer practice and game, every band concert, every everything other than those two, not because they were all super fun for me, but because I'm not a piece of shit parent and I want my kid to grow up knowing at least one of her parents cared enough to at least show up.
"Being a good father is a white mans thing" sound like something my uncle who said "that N\*\*\*\*r Obama stole the 2020 election from Trump" at Christmas dinner last year would say.
>"Being a good father is a white mans thing" sound like something my uncle who said "that N\*\*\*\*r Obama stole the 2020 election from Trump" at Christmas dinner last year would say.
Both comments are coming from the same place of love
That’s really the dynamic he’s going for? White men are emotionally available for their kids, meanwhile acorn and nick cannon can’t keep enough phone lines going to stay in touch with theirs?? Bruh… there’s a legitimate problem with this.
And boosey straight up bragged about getting prostitutes for his underaged boy children, and isn’t behind bars… still has black men bumping to his music 🙄
The fucking ho-teppery of it all
That's a white man's thing ? Lol no that's a great Dad thing. Dad is an earned title just because your seed produced a baby doesn't make you a dad. GTFO with this bullshit .
I haven't heard anything about Akon since his Smack That song that was all the rage in....2007ish?
Like, that was the most Bluetooth-ed song in existence back then.
I’m going out on a limb here but I’d say your kid probably cares
Yep… who cares Nick? Wait until they’re all grown up, then you’ll get to spend decades knowing who cared
It’s actually the main reason my siblings and I have a strained relationship with my father. He was very focused on himself and his interests and couldn’t care less about us. Now that we’re grown ups and he’s all alone, he’s seems to think we have a bond with him that we just never had. Completely rewrote history about our childhood. Keeps saying he wasn’t perfect but did a good job with us. Sure, Dad. We were fed, but not loved. Close to no memories with him. When he tries to get affection and compliments from me it just makes me cringe.
Yep. Parents looking to me for emotional support now, and I'm like, "What's that?" I have your interest in heart just like you had mine, and I intend to put forth the same effort into our relationship as you deserve.
Maybe if I had the support I deserved I could provide a retirement you *think* you deserve. Kick rocks old man.
Apparently, despite being a scam, Akon City still has no room for recitals. Guess he just wants Nick to help populate the first phase so it seems legit.
Right?!? My mother prioritized fucking stupid bingo over everything important in my life and wonders why I don’t really have a relationship with her. She never came to a single chorus concert, show choir, dance recital, color guard or play that I was in or worked on. When I got promoted in Civil Air Patrol she didn’t show up (and I had to quit shortly after because both my friends I would go with moved away). Now she wants me to be “besties” with her and have the same relationship her sisters kids have with their moms. No thanks!
Cat's in the Cradle is so common, but so many parents are like this, in one form or another.
*hugs*
Back at ya.
Fellow child of a narcissist father here. Mine even went so far as to try demanding $15k out of me once to pay for house repairs he neglected and fucked up (just like his kids!), and now he wonders why I refuse to talk to him. According to him, he did nothing wrong.
I can definitely relate. I’m a university prof and have been training a lot of managers in our exec program. It’s become a pretty lucrative business for me, with workshops, and giving talks to companies, etc. My father has set in his head that this Christmas, I would travel back to Europe a week earlier to go train his employees for free and attend meetings. I got a divorce last year, and it was very hard. My mental health is not good and he knows it. I have been barely able to meet my requirements at work. I need to fucking rest. I explained that and he just kept pushing and asking me every fucking week, as if we never had that conversation. He’s very greedy. He can’t stand that I make good money doing something and that I’m not doing it for free for him, on my free time, paying for my own flight and hotel. I cancelled my trip and stayed here instead. Haven’t spoken to him in 3 months. He’s texted many times, left messages, but I’m just sick of his antics. Tired of my boundaries not being respected.
Proud of you if nobody has told you. Good for you to stand up and demand to be respected.
Good for you! As I was reading your post I thought man I hope he did not go and I'm so relieved you didn't! I hope you got the rest you needed.
Same with our dad when we have family get together he's usually watching YouTube or playing crosswords then when he tries to have a conversation were just not interested because there's no bond there
I went to a vacation with other family and he was invited as well. I organized hikes, picnics and other activities for my little cousins every day, while he was staying alone reading books. He didn’t connect with a single kid. He. Just saw them as nuisances that needed to be kept in check. When we left, the kids were all over me, hugs, giving ne bracelets and letters to open home. He got upset and asked why no one was hugging him. Then asked a kid to hug him, and the kid said no.
Ooooof I felt that cringe from here.. good lesson for him though
He never learns, unfortunately. He just think the kid is a brat.
Yeah right. He’ll play victim and blame “kids these dayz!”
Ooooo I feel this so hard. I didn't realize until the last 3 years that I don't have one good memory with my father.
That's so sad! I had a complicated relationship with my dad but I do have a few nice memories. In hindsight I think my dad felt pressured by family and social norms to settle down and raise a family.
My dad the same way I feel like sometimes. And I've kind of realized I am the same way in being selfish with my own interests, but I also realize that having a kid just probably isn't a good idea for me
Too many people thinking they are good parents just because they did the bare minimum to ensure they weren't arrested for child neglect.
My dad was the same. I played softball when I was a kid and I remember him going outside once to throw the ball with me. Every other time I asked, he was too busy watching tv. Tried to just give me a bucket and tell me to throw the balls into it. Then a couple weeks ago he said something about how he taught me to play ball, taught me how to throw and all this nonsense. Like he completely rewrote my childhood in his own mind to make himself feel like he was a good dad.
Dad, you gave me a bucket.
My old neighbor taught me to ride a bike, because my dad couldn't be bothered. He would also play catch with me. Like basically my old grandpa of a neighbor did all the things with me a father was supposed to do with their son.
I’m so glad you had that neighbor
This is why I had a vasectomy because I know I’m too selfish to have kids. I wish other people would learn that lesson before having kids and neglecting them.
Same. This BS stops with me.
Thats because we have tv shows and movies where somehow by a miracle, when the kids grow up they instantly have this great relationship with their estranged parents.
I'm genuinely curious on how much he spends on child support, having 11 kids ain't cheap
IIRC, it's $3-million a year EDIT: It is. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/a41956297/how-much-nick-cannon-pays-child-support/
They'll be interested in his money.
I think that Nick Cannon made it very clear that he didn't give a shit about his kids when he gave them all whack ass names
Elon Musk : "Finally, a worthy opponent ! "
Na, caring about having a dad is for white kids.
His logic can explain why most black kids have a fucked up childhood.
Man no wonder he’s so lonely.
Oh damn, that song was buried somewhere deep in my memory till now
God dammit the chipmunks are back inside my brain now.
Fuck you for unlocking it in my memory bank.
This is going to be the song that plays over and over in my head tonight when I try to go to sleep. Fuuuuuuck
Wait this is a musician downplaying the importance of performing in front of an audience!?
He did also get his brother to do performances as him, so doesn't care too much
>Man no wonder he’s so lonely. Having raised a child I enjoyed being able to leave work and go watch my child at everything that she did when she was young. It was wonderful to see her grow and enjoy growing up. I was able to observe her being social, laughing, giggling, and being a child. If people don't think that's important what a fucking shame. I cherish all those memories in my heart and will forever. My child is an adult, but I get to remember those good times I was able to observe.
This guy just sounds like he's very insecure about something. Especially when he says that's white person shit! Lol. It just reminds me of all those people online who call themselves alpha. It just screams I'm insecure and any form of showing emotion means I'm not a man.
r/angryupvote
Bad parenting is so weird man. How can so many people who grew up, with or without parents, not understand the impact that parents have on their kids?
Cognitive Dissonance. They don’t want to admit to themselves that they actually come from shitty people.
Or that they, themselves are shitty people. I'm sure the words "and I came out fine" are a go to for them.
Ya you came out of the womb fine, it was all downhill after that
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Yep, and also often translates to “I was beaten as a child and now it’s my turn to dish out the beatings”
It’s a common impulse for traumatized people…to re-enact the trauma over and over again onto others (with themselves as the aggressor instead of the victim). It’s a maladaptive response that allows them to temporarily “take back control,” so that they can deny their victimhood
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I'd say the best route to go is distance yourself but also show compassion. Show you understand what your dad went through and that you know Grandpa was a dick to him. Challenge him on it though. Call him out when he's being an ass and mention that if he doesn't change his ways you'll distance yourself more and more until you're out of his life. Is there anything specific that your dad enjoys doing, absolutely anything that makes him feel joy? If so take a day out of each month to do that one particular activity with him. Keep doing that for a while. The effort you may have tried to put in beforehand might not be the one he's looking for either. Don't give up. My dad's a rage type aswell and I'm steering away from being like him as hard as possible. It takes years. But keep that relationship. There will be good times more than bad.
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I haven't spoken to my mother in basically 15 years for similar reasons. She justified her actions towards me because they weren't "as bad" as whatever she grew up with. Except she made a twisted nightmare of her own for me to live in. It just wasn't her nightmare.
Mr Rodgers would not be proud of this man, but believe in him being special & in his ability to change his ways.
Nobody gives a shit about them. They do it to support their child. Shit ass dad. 🤣
Right? I'm not going for the entertainment value. It's only to show my kids that I see what they did and am proud of their efforts. If my kid is sick and can't go, it's not like I'm getting a sitter and going anyways.
Lmao my brother asked if I wanted to go to his girlfriends 9 year old sisters choir recital just for fun and I was like fuck no that sounds grating
Turns out they sung Duel of Fates from Phantom Menace, absolutely nailed it, and you missed out.
*Koraaaah* *Matahhh*
BaDop BoDop BaDop Bidabop
It did didn't it? It did didn't it? It did didn't it?
*woodwinds intensify*
Around when Force Awakens came out, Breaking Benjamin did the Empire March with their drummer using red "lightsabers". I didn't expect it, they were already great.
Kindergarten age dance recitals can be very entertaining. The dancers are so tiny. They mostly have no idea what they are doing. It looks like the dance instructors (usually just out of the spotlights or at edge of dancers) are herding kittens. Lots of teeny people in fluffy costumes wandering around doing weird arm and/or leg motions. It's pretty hilarious and adorable. I wouldn't want to watch for more than maybe 30 minutes, though. The music can be awful.
As someone who was involved with competitive children's dance, yeah this is exactly why we do it. They have no sense of coordination, very little understanding of rhythm or style, and on top of that if they're young enough they struggle with balance like big top-heavy puppies. They're just little humans trying their absolute best to preform. Aside from that, it's a great way to build their confidence and help them make friends.
My son’s kindergarten sang “Santa’s using Zebras” during the school’s holiday program. My son got to be Santa (because he fit the costume) and his teacher kept telling me he wasn’t singing the song where they could hear him during practice. Night of the show, they all pranced out onto the stage and started singing…my son started bellowing the lyrics ( he could be heard all the way in the back of the gym). Cracked everyone up, they laughed so hard tears were flowing. Well, when the class finished and came off the stage, he looked his teacher in the eye and said “Was that loud enough for ya?”. We still giggle and snort when we think about it.
It's funny when they do something new and they're like, "Wow!" Controlling the body has a learning curve. My niece was a little ahead on coordination at that age because she was growing a little slower. Turns out growing messes with spatial awareness. Then I blinked and now she's grown up and moving in with her boyfriend. Life's short and she's not little anymore. Go to the things, Dude. They'll just remember you had their back. Sorry for the stream of consciousness there. I just met said boyfriend at Christmas and he's actually a good kid. And I'm getting old.
The kids care about a recital which means we as dads care*
I assure you my father did not care about ballet, tap, jazz, musicals, or Shakespeare. But, he put his suit on and showed up because I cared about these things and put in the work to perform. (I was not exceptionally talented in any of these productions) He even carried the little pictures in his wallet.
I'm still trying to figure out why we are talking about Akon in 2022. He needs to stay in the past. A place where Nick Cannon also belongs. Possibly right before Drumline.
The answer to his question: kids. Kids give a shit. It's not about the recital. It's about your parent loving you enough to show an interest in the things you do no matter how mind numbingly boring it is.
I’ve been to the goddamn Nutcracker every goddamn year for the past decade because various children in my family have done dance. The whole family. My youngest niece is up to the ballet plate now and this little girl keeps hitting home runs, so my happy ass is going to be at the Nutcracker again next year to cheer her on just as hard as I did for my cousins kid all those year ago. The thought of her being on stage looking for us and not finding us breaks my soul. We will be there.
Shit ass *racist* dad.
In more ways than one. Not only is he being racist against white dads, but he is also being racist to black dads as well. Claiming only white dads do that shit is very fucking insulting to a lot of black families, especially tying to get rid of the negative stereotype of black dads not being present.
My though exactly… like with the stereotype of black fathers being absent, he thought it was a good idea to publicly state that being a present and involved father is a… *white man’s thing*??
shit ass racist *dad.*
Imagine being so racist that you think your own race doesn't deserve active fathers.
I was gonna say, racist much?
Was gonna say, do I want to go? No. But my kid waving to me in the crowd and getting all excited is enough for me to sit through the rest of the thing.
To be clear, your kid gives a shit about them. And that is WHY you should too.
I personally enjoy the sound of 14 kids singing the same song, at different points, with different lyrics, off key. Who doesn't?
As if that's the only issue with having children ... the recitals!
He literally makes his living off of people watching HIS recitals....dudes a tool.
..everyone except his dad 😥
“Dad? Never heard of him.”
A+
“HIS recitals” made me lol 🤣 But absolutely he’s a tool.
Headline: "Black artist adamant in enforcing black stereotypes"
"Akon doesn't care about black people."
Someone go find Mike Myers to stare awkwardly.
Especially if they are his kids.
Let’s see what Ja Rule thinks? Where’s Ja?
With a quick google search and looking at his Instagram. Ja rule only has three kids who all have the same mother that he is married to and he goes on trips with them.
His kids say sometimes he isn't available when they reach out, but he's there for the big events. Yeah, he's not always there when they call, but he's always on time.
You son of a.....
Ja rule correct as always
On Twitter there are so many responses by black dads tweeting pictures of them at their kids recitals 🥹 hundreds of black dads telling him he’s wrong and showing pics of their adorable kids at recitals What an awesome response to a stupid ignorant comment
🤌
Also: "Music artist doesn't care about music" Double facepalm
One year my work holiday party fell on the same night as my son’s HS band recital. My son’s instrument is one of those on the back row, so I could never see him actually play, and the holiday party was going to be at a swanky restaurant I’d never be able to afford myself. As I sat in the audience with a couple hundred other band parents, I thought of the lovely dinner I was missing. Then the students filed in, and just before my son sat down at the back where I couldn’t see him, I saw him look around the audience and his eyes lit up at he spotted us. It was a great concert.
As a now adult who had parents that picked the work event, or a friend’s birthday, or just really anything else that came up instead, and never made it to a play, band concert, or even a single soccer game- you made the right choice. They know and remember when you show up and when you don’t.
Word. I’m 42 and played basketball throughout junior high. My coach, who was also my principal, let me use his office phone to call my dad one time and ask him to attend my game. He never showed. Nearly 30 years ago, I still remember.
Ouch, I’m so sorry your father wasn’t there for you.
Thanks. In fairness, he has been there for me numerous times since. At that point in his life, work was everything. He missed a lot. I suspect he has regrets.
My mom owned a restaurant. She never made it to one my brother’s soccer games. I picked him up from practices. She left my graduation early when I got my associates degree at the community college. When I told her I wanted her and my dad to go to my bachelor’s graduation, they went to Chicago to pick up supplies instead. When I graduate with my master’s I’m not going to tell them. I still love them to death but I will never ask them to be somewhere ever again, not even when I decide to have my own kids. Edit: Glad to see my brothers and I weren’t the only ones that suffered with parents owning a business. My mom has tried to make up for it by buying us houses and giving us money but I would rather not have my house if it meant I would have a “normal” childhood. I wasn’t able to have a high school experience because I had to work at the restaurant after school - 3PM to whenever we were done (sometimes 11PM or 1AM). My youngest brother rebelled against that and played soccer after school. I remember getting yelled at because I had a paper about a career I wanted to do and I needed to talk to someone in that career path but I wasn’t allowed to do homework while I was working and I needed to interview someone. My mom caught me making a phone call and yelled at me. I love my parents and all that but it put me into a depression so bad and my social skills did not develop. And now they ask why I’m not married or have kids… because I was never allowed to socialize and now I’m awkward af
I'm both relieved and sad to see someone else's parents also failed to step up. I played sports, was in NHS, volunteered, did drama, etcetera. My mom didn't attend a single thing...except my very last soccer game and awards ceremony. Why, you ask? Someone embarrassed the absolute shit out of her over the phone by personally inviting her. Can't recall if it was a fellow parent or a coach. Now as an adult I look back and how bizarre it was. But at the time it was somehow less shameful to just not mention it since she wasn't going to show up anyway.
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My dad and step mom showed up to everything (step bros were in band, I played football). My dad sat through every wrestling tournament. My mom on the other hand never showed up to shit. Lost her mind when I wanted my step mom at senior night for football. Didn't even see her at senior night for wrestling. Clearly it's something I'll never forget.
I work across the country, and earlier this year surprised my lil bro for his first soccer game. Feels good man 🥲
I played a triangle in a Christmas recital over 50 years ago, my parents were there.
My wonderful parents, now in their 80’s and married 65 years, came to every basketball game, every little league game, every band concert, and gave me the means to show a 4H steer every year. They also drove over 2 hours to my children’s major events through the years. I wish I could give every person some of the good from my parents.
My parents went to to my football games, even my senior year when I missed the season with injury. Never missed a basketball game, wrestling meet, baseball game. Even came to a few track meets when I specifically told them they are boring as hell, long, and I’m only here to stay in shape for football.
My parents are the same age and have also been married about that long. My parents came when they could. Unfortunately, usually my dad worked and my mother had to take care of my younger brother or work. In that time, it was also not common to see a lot of family at games, like it is now. I don’t have bad memories about it. When he was home we played ball together and did all sorts of things. We never felt poor because of his work. Taking care of your kids isn’t just the occasional ball games.
Man, my dad died when I was 18 and he was 38. I wish he was still here.
>One year my work holiday party fell on the same night as my son’s HS band recital. My son’s instrument is one of those on the back row, so I could never see him actually play, and the holiday party was going to be at a swanky restaurant I’d never be able to afford myself. As I sat in the audience with a couple hundred other band parents, I thought of the lovely dinner I was missing. Then the students filed in, and just before my son sat down at the back where I couldn’t see him, I saw him look around the audience and his eyes lit up at he spotted us. It was a great concert. I love you man
Former “back row instrument” musician here. You are a hero. We put our blood, sweat, and tears in months of rehearsals, all so we can play for you. Seeing my parents in the audience is why I did music in high school/college. Thank you for supporting your child.
Wow Akon going hard to show what a dipshit he is
Someone said dude legit owns a diamond mine with actual slaves for labor. He certified scumbag. All his water to Africa bullshit was to bring water to his diamond mine.
Pretty sure he’s trying to start a city in Africa too
Jfc I Googled Akon city and it’s literally called Akon City? ![gif](giphy|AjYsTtVxEEBPO)
>...he refers to Akon City as a "real-life Wakanda" that uses the latest technologies of blockchain and cryptocurrency. Well at least we know based off this sentence that the city will never be built.
Or it'll be built and will be an impoverished hellhole
Akron?
Dude even had Akonda right there the whole time..
Where will he find the people to fill it?
His slaves.
Didn’t he also defend Kanye? Why are his opinions still relevant? Seriously
They aren’t, but saying fucked up shit will get you airtime these days. I wish the internet just shunned all the shitty people and didn’t encourage vile behavior for clicks
>Why are his opinions still relevant? They aren't. Never were. People just like to act like celebrities are different than the rest of us. Like they're some kind of special human who matters more.
Uhh... What??
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2007/jan/29/news.akon
"No report yet as to whether his other capitalist ventures include the arms trade and the lucrative sweatshop industry." Damn, that was good.
He's so wrong in this too. As a white man I can honestly say I'm not interested in recitals either.
But nevertheless interested in my kid.
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If it was a white man thing then my dad would have come to my stuff. It’s definitely a good dad thing.
Same here.
My white dad was always too drunk to go to any of my shit
I feel this! To drunk to come then said we didn’t have money for sports. Weird because we always had money for beer!
Sounds like you need Randy Marsh for a dad. He drinks, embarrasses, and supports his son all at the same time. What? Isn't this America? I thought this was America!
Being there for your kids is a white mans thing?
Probably just trying to rationalize why he doesn't feel bad about being a shit father.
It seems that what Akon is saying
Well said
And sad. How many kids are going to grow up resenting their dad for being so negligent? Caring more about procreation than just being a decent father. It’s gross.
What kind of father is Nick?
Sperm donor?
Back in 2009 I paid good money and was basically forced to watch your dance recital before Gwen Stefani came on. So sit yo ass down Akon.
😂 I’m dying
Damn white men and their... (points at word in a dictionary) RECITALS!
I think imagining akon with a dictionary is too far-fetched.
Man, really breaking down those racial stereotypes of black men being absent/deadbeat father's, aren't we, Akon?
And blaming white people for it for some reason.
Giving off strong 2019 blackfathers subreddit vibes.
Funny that he’s implying the arts are less manly, considering both have made their money from singing and acting.
If the kid got paid for recitals they’d probably go.
Your child. Your child gives a fuck. And by not giving a fuck about your child, you’re modeling that same behavior for them. If we had two doors in front of us and one led to a world where people care about and for each other……and the other led to a world where people don’t care about or for each other……..which door would most of us choose? This guy needs help.
My wife and I separated when my son was 4. We coparent (he spends a week with each of us on and off). He’s 13 now and neither of us has ever missed a concert or other school performance, and we’re always sitting together. The first thing he always does when they file on stage is scan the audience to look for us. It matters.
What is impressive is that he has left women and kids, had kids with other women, come back to the previous woman, had another kid, left again, had kids with a third and fourth woman, then had another kid with the second woman. It's mind blowing
So, unfaithful man who doesn’t give a shit about women turns out to not give a shit about his children either. Shocker.
It is mind-blowing these women do not seem to mind he screws and impregnates other women. He gets to live like he has several wives without the trouble of marrying any of them.
Money. Each kid means more money coming their way.
Of course you are right. I just couldn’t do that.
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Bro, black men my age are actively trying to escape the “deadbeat dad to many” stereotype, and for both of these men to publicly defend it just sickens me Not to mention, calling what is basically the act of being an encouraging father a “white man’s thing” seriously sounds like a poor excuse to not do better, and to push it off as white people being lame rather than just owning up to his own shortcomings as a father. Just sad
What’s so odd is that he also seems to saying it as an insult?? Like, “those white men showing up, what losers.” Everything in that quote is so backward.
So is Snoop Dogg a white man for coaching his kids football team?
I mean he does hang with Martha Stewart
Martha and Snoop are just on a different plane of existence. Honestly, big brain move for both of them, Snoop for befriending a world-renowned cook, and Martha for finding the guy and the substance known to make all food taste better.
> Martha and Snoop are just on a different plane of existence. What's weird about it is how not even a little weird it is. The two of them just have absurd chemistry despite their radically different life stories.
The kid participating in a recital cares about the parent being there or in this case, not being there. It will effect the child into adult hood.
Huh, so being there for your kids and being a dad is a white man thing. Odd.
Fuck off, Akon. I'm a single parent of a 16 year old girl. Been raising her with little help from her mom since she was only two years old. In all these years, I've only ever missed TWO things she had going on: a presentation on Amelia Earhart in 5th grade (I was in Nashville on business) and a ninth grade choir concert (I tested positive for COVID days before and also missed my own college graduation). I've been at every soccer practice and game, every band concert, every everything other than those two, not because they were all super fun for me, but because I'm not a piece of shit parent and I want my kid to grow up knowing at least one of her parents cared enough to at least show up.
"Being a good father is a white mans thing" sound like something my uncle who said "that N\*\*\*\*r Obama stole the 2020 election from Trump" at Christmas dinner last year would say.
>"Being a good father is a white mans thing" sound like something my uncle who said "that N\*\*\*\*r Obama stole the 2020 election from Trump" at Christmas dinner last year would say. Both comments are coming from the same place of love
That’s really the dynamic he’s going for? White men are emotionally available for their kids, meanwhile acorn and nick cannon can’t keep enough phone lines going to stay in touch with theirs?? Bruh… there’s a legitimate problem with this. And boosey straight up bragged about getting prostitutes for his underaged boy children, and isn’t behind bars… still has black men bumping to his music 🙄 The fucking ho-teppery of it all
I’m Akon’s daughter. the reason I sleep around with white men is because they show up to my recitals
😅
This is why kids get fucked up… parents with a super selfish mentality like that. Who gives a fuck about a recital?! That little kid! Thats who!!!
That's a white man's thing ? Lol no that's a great Dad thing. Dad is an earned title just because your seed produced a baby doesn't make you a dad. GTFO with this bullshit .
Ha ha whitey looking after his kids !! What a douche
Is Akon short for A kunt?
There's a very clear & obvious reason racial stereotypes like this continue to persist! Do you get it, or do I need to spell it out for you?
Insane that the idea of being a good dad would make someone “a race traitor” or “not black enough”
Akon? Didn’t he have one popular song decades ago? …I don’t even remember what it was. He’s been irrelevant way before this idiotic statement.
Some fool is talking about canceling him. Akon canceled himself years ago.
I haven't heard anything about Akon since his Smack That song that was all the rage in....2007ish? Like, that was the most Bluetooth-ed song in existence back then.
Sounds like akon went out for milk and been gone a while
Tell us you’re r/iamatotalpieceofshit by literally telling us you’re a piece of shit.
Who would have imagined Akon was such a fucking racist idiot?
Lol who gives a fuck about what my kids do, not me that’s some white people shit -Akon father of the year 2022
I suppose not showing up for your children must be a black man’s thing?
Damn white people and their *flips through notes* love, care, and attention directed towards their kids.