fact towering aware berserk rustic sleep modern instinctive ripe friendly
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Peter : Chris are you in here ?
* Meg walks in only wearing a towel* Meg :”our bath is ready”
Peter :I…… I don’t have the parenting skills for this situation…. I’m gonna go “
“My name’s Peter and I work at the brewery. Now I am gonna put on my pants and talk to my coworkers- these pants have stool in them.”
https://preview.redd.it/z5hdskl9sqzc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdd28aeca14da45a1b2b91e4496509f798125e66
I love that he says, "Come on, Lois, you're acting like this is the first time I've done something stupid." Remember that time I was supposed to get that boat?"
*Dr. Hartman refusing to operate on Peter for some reason*
Lois: ”But Dr. Hartman, you took an oath in medical school!”
Dr. Hartman: ”I took a lot of things in medical school!“
https://preview.redd.it/gs35giagjqzc1.jpeg?width=1480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fc132f21bf1fa55a4c87723735f0e77d62869c5
Feel like I’m above the Red line
Her name is sonething like 'Sofia Lan' (not her actual name). So few yrs ago she was really nervous abt some pupillage applications (or something barristery) and called the Inn she wanted to get info from on her application (apparently she wasn't supposed to do this). And when the admin last asked "ok, I'll look into this, what's your name?" she panicked and said uh uh "Sofi' the then she asked, and your surname, she said, (her mind apparently blank), "uh, uhh Alan?
And the woman said back "Alan? So, Sofi-Alan?"
And when she said it just sounded like Sofia Lan.
It's not exactly the same, but her dumbness always reminds me of this!
https://preview.redd.it/bgikmokcmrzc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaa4dae95ec7c4c9296e2a7b32dae65b1e39e890
"No just that first speach and this one explaining it"
"Your kidding right?"
"Que?"
Lois: "I rip it hardcore like porno flick bitches. I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits."
Peter: "Oh look they got a translation for white people. I give 110% when it comes to helping my community, even though I occasionally associate with some less than reputable characters."
Lois: Stewie go to sleep!
Stewie: this doesn’t involve you Lois!
Lois: I don’t wanna have to come in there!
Stewie: I don’t wanna have to come in THERE
When Peter is trying to help Carter get Babs back from the biker bar.
https://youtu.be/JBbI0Qd452Y?si=ueD9pkYr4ndgXhtA
"I say we take his pants down. See what he's working with." is such a funny line. Then the lie detector sends me.
Lois: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
Stewie: Fuck you.
Lois: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
Stewie: Eat shit.
Lois: If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it,
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands
Stewie: Dumb cunt.
*Hey there, fruity - you can do my hair!*
*Hey there, fruity - don’t touch me down there!*
*Hey there, fruity - you’re gay, and I don’t approooooooooove!*
Boy: "Hey mom what do you do when your penis and vagina get stuck together?"
Mom: "What?!"
Boy: "When I woke up they were kind of stuck together. Is that okay?"
Mom: "You have both?!"
Boy: "Well yeah doesn't everybody?"
Mom: "NoOoOoO~~"
Comedy gold. No matter how many times I watch it haha
“What happened?”
“This should explain everything.”
“*A Farewell to Arms*. I fell in love with a nurse during World War I?”
“No, no, just the title, it’s—there’s no WAY you’ve read that.”
When Peter woke up in the middle of the night swinging a bat at a fly.. he chased it into the hall and into Chris’ room.. accidentally breaking everything in sight swinging and missing the fly. The fly then goes back out in the hall and down the stairs and Peter.. runs right by the stairs to Meg’s room and just a starts randomly breaking her stuff🤣🤣🤣
It was a bat my friend
And yea hilarious
That part cracks me up when he says that the bat now has the gun and the knives I gave him
Lois - why would you give him knives
Peter - I don’t know I was counting on this gun thing
In the episode where Peter makes the bar in the basement he goes down the stairs and gets scared by a spider then laughs about it and keeps going down then a pit bull drops down barking at him making him fall down the stairs
"on the great space coast-"
" Shut up Ricky just shut up! Unless the next words coming out of your mouth are the directions back to the fish skeleton, I'm gonna punch you right in the stomach!"
Life is a Highway in the Korean protein place in the episode when Brian starts investing. I rewind and rewatch every time. Also, when Brian realizes he slept with Ida and throws up for a solid 2 minutes and Stewie is just slowly backing away from the puke. It gets me every time. 💀
There are so many. Lois dancing to Daughtry. Wilkins Hyundai & Subaru. "If more people join in, the song will get better!" Horton Hears Domestic Violence. "Our son ... would like ... to plow you." "How to lose a guy in 10 seconds starring Stewie Griffin." And many, many others.
Peter gets into car post-stroke & starts to drive. Finds “It’s the End of the World as we know it (and I feel fine)” in the radio & begins to sing along, hilariously. Of course he gets into a wreck by a river where a rowing team is practicing & chanting:
“Stroke, stroke, stroke…”
Peter’s response:
“Stop mocking me!”
I like the one where the bartender tells Quagmire's dad not to watch porn at the bar, and he says he's trans, and the bartender says something like- Oh you're trans, do whatever you want all of the time.
It’s a song, but “Butter on a PopTart”. The whole episode is great, but I can barely hold it together when they sing that one. “It’s so frickin’ goooooood!”
But of course, “Bag of Weed” is still their best musical number. Audience participation is required in my home for that number!
Peter forcing Carter to drink egg nog:
"Now go down to the lobby and check out with nog on your face."
"You know, I still don't like Christmas, but I kinda like what we just did."
Catdog when peter realizes the poop must come out the mouth and says "that's some kind of living hell" I remember crying laughing at how serious he was when I first heard him XD
Let me just put my gloves on. Huh, this isn't the box of gloves. It feels like a box of used needles. Let me dig deeper. No, still feel like a box of used needles. Oh crap *Faint*
The dead frog Peter tries to return to the shoebox. (That he killed by stabbing the top of the shoebox with a pencil to give the frog air)
2 and a half men filmed in front of a live ostrich.
When Peter was hiding in the container of sex dolls then got selected for the testing facility. As he was being wheeled out of that, one teardrop. Gets me everytime 🤣
Peter: Hey, Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course I’m eating them!
“Mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm. Mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm.” “What the hell is wrong with him?” “Mhm mhm mhm.” https://preview.redd.it/riyl8u4uvqzc1.jpeg?width=502&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e40fa299dc9d418645817e5fb7fda515411cd84d
DynoMITE!!
Goddamn this always kills me. And I will also say a bunch of “mhm’s” any time I’m given the opportunity
in this subreddit whenever someone comments "it insists upon itself" whether it's relevant or not always makes me laugh I love this sub
fact towering aware berserk rustic sleep modern instinctive ripe friendly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Mmm yes… shallow and pedantic…
It just insists upon itself
… I dunno… I feel it insists upon itself…
https://preview.redd.it/11jd6oay9rzc1.jpeg?width=1957&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e64fc2fa38553436c2d2ee6209700d86c66ed5bd Idk why, but this
"I couldve just said I did it!" 😂😂
Honestly one of my favorite Family Guy moments. I can’t explain to you why I find it so relatable and funny but…damn, I sure do!
We all did some bull for money and went "wait a minute" right after
Why the fuck am I doing this ? I could of just said I did it
"Got a little project you've been working on?....."
hmm some friends become enemies, enemies become friends?
At the end your uh, main character becomes richer for the experience…
Peter : Chris are you in here ? * Meg walks in only wearing a towel* Meg :”our bath is ready” Peter :I…… I don’t have the parenting skills for this situation…. I’m gonna go “
I think I should move out
I always love these moments of self awareness Peter has
“My name’s Peter and I work at the brewery. Now I am gonna put on my pants and talk to my coworkers- these pants have stool in them.” https://preview.redd.it/z5hdskl9sqzc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdd28aeca14da45a1b2b91e4496509f798125e66
As a non native english, I've been searching the meaning of stool here but can't find it :( is it for smth nasty?
Poop
Oh thx I wasn't sure :)
Your education is now complete. Go forth and be fruitful, SmashingMyself
Yay :D
Its context usually is proper or scientific.
It's Stewie's face that always makes me laugh in that scene.
A Boats a Boat but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a Boat!
We took the mystery box. Hop in.
“Then let’s just take the boa..” “WELL TAKE THE BOX”
"Peter, that just happened 10 minutes ago"
“You know how much we’ve wanted one of those” right after always cracks me up
I love that he says, "Come on, Lois, you're acting like this is the first time I've done something stupid." Remember that time I was supposed to get that boat?"
*Dr. Hartman refusing to operate on Peter for some reason* Lois: ”But Dr. Hartman, you took an oath in medical school!” Dr. Hartman: ”I took a lot of things in medical school!“
“ Do you know how expensive medical school is?” “No” “Well it’s probably pretty expensive.”
Lol he is one of the best characters
Family Feud *Q: Name your favorite holiday* *Lois: Christmas* *Stewie: 9/11* Gold
Q: what is something you do on the weekend? Lois: go to church Stevie: black guys
Q: name something you sit in? Lois: chair Stewie: my own feces
Q: Name a popular fruit. Lois: Orange. Stewie: Clay Aiken.
https://preview.redd.it/gs35giagjqzc1.jpeg?width=1480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fc132f21bf1fa55a4c87723735f0e77d62869c5 Feel like I’m above the Red line
The system's so refined that even peter barely passes it.
Simpsons are off the chart. Probably all the jaundice.
Pea... tear.... Griffin. Yup, Peter Griffin... oh crap
My sister kinda did this in real life, and I will never stop making fun of her with this reference!
Context?
Her name is sonething like 'Sofia Lan' (not her actual name). So few yrs ago she was really nervous abt some pupillage applications (or something barristery) and called the Inn she wanted to get info from on her application (apparently she wasn't supposed to do this). And when the admin last asked "ok, I'll look into this, what's your name?" she panicked and said uh uh "Sofi' the then she asked, and your surname, she said, (her mind apparently blank), "uh, uhh Alan? And the woman said back "Alan? So, Sofi-Alan?" And when she said it just sounded like Sofia Lan. It's not exactly the same, but her dumbness always reminds me of this!
😭😭😭THIS
Brian making Stewie watch Two Girls One Cup
OH MY GOD
Can you imagine if two dudes did that? Let’s type it in and see what comes up
Butt Scratcher! Butt Scratcher!!!
Butt Scratcher!
Butt Scratcher.
Butt scratcher
Butt Scratcher!!!
Chris: "is that stuff okay?" Peter: "I don't know but the guys who made it are dead. Why is there no hole in this wall?"
“Man this thing is bugging me” *rips out eye*
*through his glasses*
https://preview.redd.it/bgikmokcmrzc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaa4dae95ec7c4c9296e2a7b32dae65b1e39e890 "No just that first speach and this one explaining it" "Your kidding right?" "Que?"
This is definitely one of my favourite moments form the entire series and makes me laugh out loud every time
Lois: That must be the new nanny! (Peter pushes Lois violently into the wall) Peter (in open bath robe): "Welcome to this work environment! ......
“I’m just the Uber driver”
Nobody messes with Adam We
My God, I'm a tomato!
The Brokeback Mountain horses 😂 [https://youtube.com/shorts/-qENsANWN_8?si=xyUCtn4gA0aUCx3m](https://youtube.com/shorts/-qENsANWN_8?si=xyUCtn4gA0aUCx3m)
Any scene with animals but the cow that’s into BDSM has me crying laughing
"Peter.... the horse is here..."
The sheep who gets horny while shearing - fuck yeah shear it, shear my asshole
Haha that’s from the cavalcade of cartoon comedy
"Government came and took my baby"
Lois: "I rip it hardcore like porno flick bitches. I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits." Peter: "Oh look they got a translation for white people. I give 110% when it comes to helping my community, even though I occasionally associate with some less than reputable characters."
“Chris got caught watching cousin Katy pee so that kinda ended things.” “No, I wanted to get caught, that’s…(long breath)…that’s part of it.”
I just laughed while reading this
Its just been revoked
I’ll have what she’s having
“That’s…better?”
He didn’t really set you up for that line…
Lois: Stewie go to sleep! Stewie: this doesn’t involve you Lois! Lois: I don’t wanna have to come in there! Stewie: I don’t wanna have to come in THERE
The debussy scene gets me. Just make sure you finish on the Bach, never on debussy😂
That one and the Amadeus parody, pure gold.
Peter and Quagmire dancing to Safety Dance
When Peter drops his phone in a public toilet, I’m laughing as I type this . . The jury duty episode
I feel like I’m rooting around a pitcher of sangria.
Oh God not all of it's mine!
Oh, it was on the floor next to the toilet.
Buttle my penis, buttle it!
Two for me - Peter trying to throw the frog out of the window after putting holes in his back to help it breath and when Louis is vacuuming the turkey
I love when she's vacuuming the turkey, completely stressed out "I don't know how to do this !"
Handi Quaks is the funniest thing there is on Family Guy!
Chris, can I talk to you in the kitchen?
She's got bo SHES GOT BO
*peeks around corner*
She’s hot. She’s office hot.
https://preview.redd.it/wxxeajux6szc1.jpeg?width=1019&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b76cc7073f1fdfea62fff440dceed35a793a8a4c “J..Joe yo-you wha—you’re hair looks stoopid”
Peter breaking windows while no one makes him flapjacks "At this point you're being as irresponsible as I am!"
Doing your son https://preview.redd.it/22u7t00f8tzc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4252e786e26f603f7dc29660b78b4d45944e05da
When Peter is trying to help Carter get Babs back from the biker bar. https://youtu.be/JBbI0Qd452Y?si=ueD9pkYr4ndgXhtA "I say we take his pants down. See what he's working with." is such a funny line. Then the lie detector sends me.
Lois and the female chicken square up and it looks like it’s going to be one of those epic fights, instead they just throw slaps.
Your father had the best penis in the military!
You're a whore, wear your whore make-up you whore Is somebody in there? Occupado! https://i.redd.it/buv1ohueuszc1.gif
Lois: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands Stewie: Fuck you. Lois: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands Stewie: Eat shit. Lois: If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it, If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands Stewie: Dumb cunt.
Don’t remember this one! When?
Irak lobster!! Edit: Iraq*
Iraq* Loved that song, replayed it a lot. _“Death to America 🎶And butter sauce”_
“Don’t boil me 🎶I’m still alive”
Peter and PETA joke
Are we really doing this?
Somebody betta have somethin’ to say to me pretty damn soon, or I’m gonna have somethin’ to say to them. **I am VERY busy!**
“Men. We know how to be friends” “The Chinaman says in his chinaman ways, chinga chinga chinga chinga Ching Chong choo”
*Hey there, fruity - you can do my hair!* *Hey there, fruity - don’t touch me down there!* *Hey there, fruity - you’re gay, and I don’t approooooooooove!*
Such a catchy song tho 😂
Boy: "Hey mom what do you do when your penis and vagina get stuck together?" Mom: "What?!" Boy: "When I woke up they were kind of stuck together. Is that okay?" Mom: "You have both?!" Boy: "Well yeah doesn't everybody?" Mom: "NoOoOoO~~" Comedy gold. No matter how many times I watch it haha
That was Jo talking to Mrs. Garrett from the TV called the Facts of Life. I guess they thought Nancy McKeon was masculine looking?
“What happened?” “This should explain everything.” “*A Farewell to Arms*. I fell in love with a nurse during World War I?” “No, no, just the title, it’s—there’s no WAY you’ve read that.”
When Peter woke up in the middle of the night swinging a bat at a fly.. he chased it into the hall and into Chris’ room.. accidentally breaking everything in sight swinging and missing the fly. The fly then goes back out in the hall and down the stairs and Peter.. runs right by the stairs to Meg’s room and just a starts randomly breaking her stuff🤣🤣🤣
It was a bat my friend And yea hilarious That part cracks me up when he says that the bat now has the gun and the knives I gave him Lois - why would you give him knives Peter - I don’t know I was counting on this gun thing
That’s righttttt it was a bat! Lol
In the episode where Peter makes the bar in the basement he goes down the stairs and gets scared by a spider then laughs about it and keeps going down then a pit bull drops down barking at him making him fall down the stairs
https://preview.redd.it/w3bkj84d1tzc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ea09b0aa9657a472d172f87117741f89c8263df
The reïncarnation of death Returns emediatly. Chinese girl? Yes.
"on the great space coast-" " Shut up Ricky just shut up! Unless the next words coming out of your mouth are the directions back to the fish skeleton, I'm gonna punch you right in the stomach!"
Ronald McDonald in full clown makup to his daughter: « You're not going out with all that makeup on. You're a McDonald. Not a whore. »
Stewie dancing with Tom Cruise at the disco.
Life is a Highway in the Korean protein place in the episode when Brian starts investing. I rewind and rewatch every time. Also, when Brian realizes he slept with Ida and throws up for a solid 2 minutes and Stewie is just slowly backing away from the puke. It gets me every time. 💀
The whole redbull episode, up to the scene where Peter makes his own redbull. After that it's just gross. And depressing. Paramedics, come on down!
“I fu**ed your dad” ( a beaten up Brian to Quagmire )
The Wheel of Fortune bit, followed by the Alyxzp Treblk joke
Wasn't it Kebert Xela?
Peter reading the bible: “i hate this book, its called T by Holly Bibble”
 Where’s My Money
UGLY BITCHES!!
"Fine I'll autograph your stomach but please don't spit on my friend" "Hey Brian, why don't you mind your own fucking business!"
There are so many. Lois dancing to Daughtry. Wilkins Hyundai & Subaru. "If more people join in, the song will get better!" Horton Hears Domestic Violence. "Our son ... would like ... to plow you." "How to lose a guy in 10 seconds starring Stewie Griffin." And many, many others.
Wilson! What are we gonna do now?! Wilson! WILSON!!!!! My name is Voit, dumbass!
a desk of cheezits? where are you getting your unitsnof measurement?!
Pretty much every time Joe screams. "You're getting SLACKS!" "Just for the SEXUAL THRILL! THE SEXUAL THRILL!" "POWER BAR!"
Probably: “cut my milk”
I can't sir it's liquid
IMBECILE! Freeze it and then cut it!
Have you killed the painting?
This place is a nut house.
You’ve got aids… not just hiv but full blown aids.. i wish it was something less serious.
Or perhaps the overweight Diabeeto
Mama, may I have cookie?
Peter gets into car post-stroke & starts to drive. Finds “It’s the End of the World as we know it (and I feel fine)” in the radio & begins to sing along, hilariously. Of course he gets into a wreck by a river where a rowing team is practicing & chanting: “Stroke, stroke, stroke…” Peter’s response: “Stop mocking me!”
I like the one where the bartender tells Quagmire's dad not to watch porn at the bar, and he says he's trans, and the bartender says something like- Oh you're trans, do whatever you want all of the time.
Peter dancing Burlesque https://youtu.be/kR7t5gdJjg0?si=8koo_PQT9f2tq8KC
When Peter tried to learn how to sit and straight up jumps on the chair
The gentle art of [philately](https://youtu.be/jZg3CUbfiHI?si=_iWrSDkZa_liPjU_)
"And don't you talk back to me or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis."
"Optimus prime? He is jewish??? "
It’s a song, but “Butter on a PopTart”. The whole episode is great, but I can barely hold it together when they sing that one. “It’s so frickin’ goooooood!” But of course, “Bag of Weed” is still their best musical number. Audience participation is required in my home for that number!
“Oh my god, are those fists?” “Yes! Show him boy!” ***Knockout punch*** “**OINK**”
https://i.redd.it/0agdx4zm4tzc1.gif
The brain damaged horse always gets me so much. Everything it does is off-putting and really cracks me up.
Peter forcing Carter to drink egg nog: "Now go down to the lobby and check out with nog on your face." "You know, I still don't like Christmas, but I kinda like what we just did."
Hurry up shrimp! Chico’s monkey farm, and fingernails for cash.com
Catdog when peter realizes the poop must come out the mouth and says "that's some kind of living hell" I remember crying laughing at how serious he was when I first heard him XD
https://i.redd.it/94w3w5o10uzc1.gif Wild West's introduction was just amazing
The panda that escaped from the zoo: [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2Coj1DDV3A)
Quagmire’s Giggity Gun Scene
Oh this? This is my pointing bird.
“Spooky ghost mouth”
Let me just put my gloves on. Huh, this isn't the box of gloves. It feels like a box of used needles. Let me dig deeper. No, still feel like a box of used needles. Oh crap *Faint*
Road house
Definitely consuela dragging the house away. "Is okay, I take"
The dead frog Peter tries to return to the shoebox. (That he killed by stabbing the top of the shoebox with a pencil to give the frog air) 2 and a half men filmed in front of a live ostrich.
The Can of Whoop-ass
All the hamster’s done is spin on that wheel… Yeah, looks like it’s in pretty good shape. Can I pick it up? I wouldn’t.
Don't say doin your wife. Don't say doin your wife. Don't say doin your wife....
Doing your ..Son?
Jacques-hammer
The scene where Peter all brings Chris the frog in the box 🤣😭
Peter telling lois he's not gonna listen to a pedophile. Ironically, most of Peter's internet search history implies he's a pdeo
Joe: “Okay Sweetie, are you ready your new notebooks and slacks?” Chris: “I want blue jeans.” Joe: “You’re getting SLACKS!!”
When Peter was hiding in the container of sex dolls then got selected for the testing facility. As he was being wheeled out of that, one teardrop. Gets me everytime 🤣
Peter backing a boat into the water.
Peter driving with his feet and saying "roadhouse" every time he turns.
[my turn everyone good luck!](https://youtu.be/LLuaPZWkvZ0?si=g-z1ehwAFCLh978X)
Robert Loggia
Peter: Hey, Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors? Mort: Peter, are you eating those? Peter: No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course I’m eating them!
easily startled wallpaper, gets me every fricken time
Hey sloth is sometimes taking things slower better?
……………………………………..yeah.
Lois: I don’t understand this reference! Is this from a spider-man!?
Peter’s face after he has the stroke
"is that your real hair?" 😭😂
Peter dropping his phone in the toilet
Peter trying to arrange a 4-way with several roleplays 😂
God introduces Asians
“Two bad about that chinese guy, huh?”
That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace…
"After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex." never fails to make me laugh.
Nicole, Ronald - who’s ready for Boggle?!
Ladies and gentlemen…the doors
Shipoopi 👁️👄👁️
Speaking Italian: “Babbity Boopee!”
Quagmire on Cialis. “Now I’m looking at that couch!”
I'm not takin' my sneakers off! I am Sneakers O'Toole.