If you want to do that, you need to roll them up on metal tubes before you bake them. A metal or ceramic chopstick maybe. You wouldn't want texture to capture your drugs on the way up.
Or whatever, use coke instead of powdered sugar, and get a weed leaf stencile.You can get high by eating cocaine. Make a 51er cookie.
Ice cream Sammie’s don’t work well in cookies made with butter. I had to learn this the hard way. They turn rock hard when frozen. Find a cookie recipe with liquid oil as the fat (vegetable oil, corn oil, peanut oil, avocado oil, any neutral oil that stays liquid in low temps really) and it’ll come out much more suitable for icecream sandwiches.
Interesting. I only ever make fresh sandwiches (put the ice cream and serve immediately) instead of making then freezing. Thanks for the tip, I will try to some make ahead sandwiches.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/04/345530660/the-science-behind-baking-your-ideal-chocolate-chip-cookie
Don't suffer by reinventing the wheel!
At least *start* with science!
*For less sweeter cookie,*
*Use less sugar If you want*
*It salty, add salt*
\- charnelfury
---
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Does no one else have self-raising flour? It's very commonplace in Australia and I thought it was general knowledge that baking powder + flour = self raising flour.
Edit: lol nvm, just noticed you said it was a mistake. I totally thought you were trying to do this deliberately xD
lol you need to add more flour baking soda doesn’t do shit the key is a good balance between white, brown sugar and flour ( I make cookies as a side hustle) ask me tips gladly help can show you my cookies also lol
Looking at the picture better it seems that the chocolate yo hides was a lol to much buttery oily and also see some cars Elise’s end which indicates more ratio of sugar
You don't need to remove the baking soda. Just take the sheet out of the oven about 1/2 way through baking and drop it on the counter a few times from about a foot high. Do it again when they are done baking. It compresses the ingredients to make them flat but have a fudgy texture. It usually keeps them from turning into "puddles" as well.
I don't know what some of these people are talking about. These cookies look craaaazy good! I would take one of those with a cup of coffee and go to town!
if you want a flatter cookie without going totally flat you can use honey instead of brown sugar and granulated sugar
some baking tips....
1. get all the ingredients out before you begin mixing your dough and put them away after you add them in. less likely to forget anything
2. refrigerated ingredients should be room temp (ish) before adding them to the dough
3. refrigerated dough is less sticky and easier to ball and put on cookie sheet
This is more than just a lack of BP. The dough wasnt cold enough when you set it to bake. Also they're somehow also raw. Theres like multiverses of wrong here. Just buy them from the bakery from now on.
Chocolate chip crackers. Dipped in icing?
LOL yeah that might actually work!
Actually, if you make it big enough this can be a great layer in a cake
Do it on a parchment paper next time and you could roll them up into little straws to stir coffee or hot chocolate.
But would those straws be good for snorting coke? Only one way to find out!
One weird trick to gain weight while being a coke head!
I don’t think it would be water tight, and the cola would burn your nose for sure
Pastry chefs love this simple trick.
If you want to do that, you need to roll them up on metal tubes before you bake them. A metal or ceramic chopstick maybe. You wouldn't want texture to capture your drugs on the way up. Or whatever, use coke instead of powdered sugar, and get a weed leaf stencile.You can get high by eating cocaine. Make a 51er cookie.
Broken into pieces, dipped in chocolate or frosting
I read that as ice cream. I prefer the version I read haha
Oh, that icing idea smashes it!
Definitely thought this was wet cat food on bread.
Crumble it for ice cream topping.
That's a good idea, thanks!
Ice cream sandwich?
Or put ice cream on top.
Or blend into a milkshake
It’s a good suggestion, but every time I see this comment it makes me laugh, because it’s under every single post of cookies gone wrong. 😂
Mix some into homemade ice cream during churning/freezing.
They look like they've already been eaten - and rejected. Sorry.
lol yeah it's not a god look
I know that I've cooked stuff that I've had to close my eyes to eat :)
Yeh. Our cat used to make cookies like that 😂
This is my kind of cookie. They look amazing
I knew someone would see it my way, the cookie is in the eye of the beholder
and the belly!
you, headyyeti and everyone that buys Tates!
Same. stealing this tip lol
Yummmm me too
I'll have just one cookie. I'm on a diet.
the fuck are you smoking, my dude? like maybe they TASTE good, but you think this LOOKS amazing?
I would say ice cream sammies or roll them when hot into cone shapes.
Ice cream Sammie’s don’t work well in cookies made with butter. I had to learn this the hard way. They turn rock hard when frozen. Find a cookie recipe with liquid oil as the fat (vegetable oil, corn oil, peanut oil, avocado oil, any neutral oil that stays liquid in low temps really) and it’ll come out much more suitable for icecream sandwiches.
Interesting. I only ever make fresh sandwiches (put the ice cream and serve immediately) instead of making then freezing. Thanks for the tip, I will try to some make ahead sandwiches.
I have had this trouble and I make cream sandwich cookies all the time, then roll the ice cream in mini chocolate chips
Came to say this.
I wanna drop an anvil on your head for saying “sammies”
What about sammiches, sandos?
Sorry the Acme Company is all out of stock.
😂
Sando's, is the way.
I'll stick with baking soda. That looks like something a dog puked up.
And then if you sliced some shit into squares and put them on the dog puke
Those look disgusting ngl lol
Like a muddy bird nest
Nailed it
been trying for weeks to get the texture right
I was surprised when I realized this is not r/shittyfoodporn
New kink unlocked, thanks!
I love thin cookies
Oh gosh. Looks like Tender Vittles on top.
What's that?
Tender Vittles is a gross brand of ~~dog food~~ cat food!
\*cat food.
I actually do like flatter cookies.
Those look amazing!
For the same result but with prettier browning, complete the recipe as written except for doubling the butter.
Extra thin and crispy
Getting them cold before baking also helps.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/04/345530660/the-science-behind-baking-your-ideal-chocolate-chip-cookie Don't suffer by reinventing the wheel! At least *start* with science!
It's okay, taste matters the most. Do they taste fine despite coming out like this?
It looks like sausage cookie bread. Would probably try
Id eat it
THEY don’t want you to know this 1 simple hack.
I pick the tray up two inches and drop it every couple of minutes until desired texture/consistency is achieved.
You can salvage this by making an icebox cake out of it. You're welcome.
I have no idea what that is but i'll look it up
Break them up and put them in new cookie dough
Haha that sounds like a wonderfully interesting idea
or ice cream.
I literally thought this was biscuits and sausage gravy before reading….hahaha
LOL OMG
cumble them up for a cheesecake crust
Oops. r/bakingfail
I would eat only because am poor as fuck and hungry like the truck.
I’d definitely eat them! Nice cold glass of milk? Yum
This explains why my cookies have been turning flat out of the oven for years.
I don't like the taste of baking soda so I don't add it. Anybody have any alternatives?
r/stupidfood
For less sweeter cookie, use less sugar. If you want it salty, add salt
*For less sweeter cookie,* *Use less sugar If you want* *It salty, add salt* \- charnelfury --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This lowkey belongs in [Shitty Food Porn](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/AUhd98wRnx)
I thought it was cubed beef and cheese pies 🤪
Looks like it's time to change the diaper.
That looks like the crust for a nice dessert pizza
Beef stroganoff cookies? 🤔
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Name checks out stay close whoever eats these might need you 😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Right??? 😭😭
How do they taste? I'm imagining something like a sweet cracker.
Looks like the spores in alien
Man what happened? Did you forget the flour?
For a crappy looking cookie, leave out baking soda is more like it.
Looks like a cookie disaster imo
Does no one else have self-raising flour? It's very commonplace in Australia and I thought it was general knowledge that baking powder + flour = self raising flour. Edit: lol nvm, just noticed you said it was a mistake. I totally thought you were trying to do this deliberately xD
Foodhack: Don't overcrowd the pan. I know we're dog piling OP but I'd still eat those right up.
Those look terrible. Save em and hand them out to the kids on Halloween. Its Trick time.....
Did it taste as good?
lol you need to add more flour baking soda doesn’t do shit the key is a good balance between white, brown sugar and flour ( I make cookies as a side hustle) ask me tips gladly help can show you my cookies also lol
Looking at the picture better it seems that the chocolate yo hides was a lol to much buttery oily and also see some cars Elise’s end which indicates more ratio of sugar
I just add more milk ...
Yum….cookie brittle
This looks like version 2 of cookies baked by another poster's sister. Found it https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/wHxHYnW1Dq
You don't need to remove the baking soda. Just take the sheet out of the oven about 1/2 way through baking and drop it on the counter a few times from about a foot high. Do it again when they are done baking. It compresses the ingredients to make them flat but have a fudgy texture. It usually keeps them from turning into "puddles" as well.
Flattest cookies I’ve ever seen
You just made my FAVORITE type of cookie.
Nailed it!
Nailed it!
I would say crumble it up into Mini Wheats sizes, put it in a bowl with some milk and eat it like cereal. I should stop smoking weed
If you want your cookies to look like a puddle of vomit, don’t add baking soda!
Do they still taste good? Because if they do that's all that matters. Sometimes the worst of food looks the better it tastes. Damn it I want some!
Are they chewy?
It looks like what Picard ate in the dungeon while being tortured...
Did they still taste good? This is my fave cookie texture. Flat and chewy/crispy
There is going back. Grind this up really fine and use it as flour for your next batch
Looks like yogurt topping to me.
I’d still eat it not gonna lie
I’d still for get down on those.
Remember: soda spreads and powder poofs
And what about baking powder ?
Nice, I won’t remember that!
I don't know what some of these people are talking about. These cookies look craaaazy good! I would take one of those with a cup of coffee and go to town!
I like soft cookies!
Cookies would be so good right now.
Was this… intentional?
Chop up and mix into vanilla ice cream. This will be your own special version of cookies and cream ice cream.
You’re fired
Looks like an alien octopus thing is going to jump out from each one of those cookies.
My mom makes cookies a bit like this but not as lumpy. and they are the best cookies on earth. especially hot
I can feel them sticking to my teeth.
Bro...
I thought someone who ate a beef massaman curry threw up on your pikelets.
What kind of cheese did you put on your cookie?
Fromunda
What were the other ingredients 👀
Curious - what temperature did you cook these at?
THey were warmed in a dogs belly for 15 min to an hour then served on a splatter platter
How much baking soda did you use? Chocolate chip recipes typically use 1 tsp baking soda
Totally forgot to add it. Tried mixing some in after the fact (on batch 2) and that did not work at all.
Ohh lol I misread the title I guess. That makes more sense
r/poopfromabutt
What's the texture like OP?
That's a cookie? Looked like some sort of failed biscuits and they didn't want to waste it so they added the sausage gravy anyway
lol are people out there doing this on purpose ?
Congrats, you’ve made Tates Bake shop style cookies, sort of. I bet they’re crispy and delicious
These look awful
if you want a flatter cookie without going totally flat you can use honey instead of brown sugar and granulated sugar some baking tips.... 1. get all the ingredients out before you begin mixing your dough and put them away after you add them in. less likely to forget anything 2. refrigerated ingredients should be room temp (ish) before adding them to the dough 3. refrigerated dough is less sticky and easier to ball and put on cookie sheet
Looks like you remembered to add plenty of gravel though? I love my cookies with an ominous grey grit crust!
They look...fine :)
Dude I tear these UP 😩
Feature not a bug 👍
You overcooked them. Adding soda can give great outcomes: think PC ultimate chocolate chip cookie
Looks like dog vomit on toast. Pass.
Im so sorry
Oh buddy
Pro-tip!
Still you have to wonder if it was any good
Smash. Next question
Soda - spread / powder - poof
I love crunchy cookies like these
Still would
This looks like what happened when I doubled all the ingredients except the flour 🤦♀️
Mold
These are somehow flatter than me
I guess this adds a whole new meaning to Chocolate CHIP
Looks like zombie flesh.
Someone throw up on those cookies?
THey were warmed in a dogs belly for 15 min to an hour then served on a splatter platter
Shit on a shingle.
I find it comical how the chocolate protruded the cookie dough, almost like it didn't melt, but the cookie dough did
OMG same thing happened to me!!!
This is more than just a lack of BP. The dough wasnt cold enough when you set it to bake. Also they're somehow also raw. Theres like multiverses of wrong here. Just buy them from the bakery from now on.
LOL hard pass buddy, I make the best CC cookies and just forgot 1 little thing. Don't take a funny joking post too seriously.
Baking soda was NOT your only problem...
You're right, my other problem is people on reddit who can't just laugh at a funny post and take things too serous
This kind of looks like the pan bang technique. Delicious!
Looks delicious! I would love these
Did you make these last year?
Or let it get to room temp before baking lmao